CLOUDED MIND / HEAVY HEART.

priv. bellamy blake. low activity.

[blmys-blog]

AZGEDAN      /      ECHO .

YOU BREATHE IN HIS SMELL,          face tucked into the crook of his neck as though you know what it means to be  soft.          it smells not of rain nor earth,     but rather a gentle musk;     the smell of  sex and sweat.          it’s unique to him alone.          the mattress you lay on is  uncomfortable  to say the least,     and as you reposition to better stretch your limbs,     the springs creak beneath your weight,     poking  mercilessly  at your skin.          ❛          i would rather sleep on a bed of  nails  than sleep here another night.          ❜          @blmys

‘       BED OF NAILS,     HUH    ?       ’       it’s almost a drawl,     a lazy rasp made gentle by the way his mouth curves a little at each corner.     he doesn’t get up    ;    shifts an arm just far enough to reach for her when she moves,     a broad hand grazing the bare skin of her back.     still warm.     that lingering scent of them both.     he can almost ignore the stale,     recycled smell of canned air drifting in from the vents.       ‘       i bet if you ask nicely,     raven’ll build one for you.       ’

[vaememes]

— nsfw sentence starters.

[blmys-blog]

rpmemesfam:

warning  :  these  are  nsfw  and  very  smut  related.

❛  what’s the matter? can’t keep up?  ❜

❛  am i going too fast for you?  ❜

❛  raise up some, i can’t breathe.  ❜

❛  wait, you’re going to go down there?  ❜

❛  please, no, i just want to hurry up here.  ❜

❛  well, what do you think? you like?  ❜

❛  are just going to stand there the whole time?  ❜

❛  my tongue is all for you.  ❜

❛  where did you learn that from?  ❜

❛  oh, i’ve got a new trick i want to show you. ❜

❛  i know exactly what you want and how you want it. ❜

❛  you’re the best i’ve ever had. ❜

❛  just kiss me, touch me…  ❜

❛  just touch me here.  ❜

❛  i want to touch you.  ❜

❛  hey, do you feel that?  ❜

❛  you always make me horny.  ❜

❛  this isn’t what i had in mind but okay.  ❜

❛  this is nice, wow, feels nice.  ❜

❛  i got a bed in the other room.  ❜

❛  just kiss my lips.  ❜

❛  i want you to hold me when we’re done.  ❜

❛  take me and don’t have mercy on me.  ❜

❛  make love to me.  ❜

❛  you never want to change things up.  ❜

❛  what is this? is this what i think it is?  ❜

❛  so, do you like it cold or hot?  ❜

❛  keep on touching me there.  ❜

❛  go down a little further.  ❜

❛  what? are you scared?  ❜

❛  keep going, make my legs shake.  ❜

❛  yes, that feels good.  ❜

❛  you do magic with your tongue.  ❜

❛  i like your fingers and your tongue.  ❜

❛  use your fingers and tongue.  ❜

❛  i think i’m going to cum...  ❜

❛  oh, don’t tease me now.  ❜

❛  i enjoy teasing you.  ❜

❛  beg for it.  ❜

❛  i’m ready for you now.  ❜

❛  you make me so … ready.  ❜

❛  can’t hardly contain getting aroused when you’re in my presence.  ❜

❛  do you live to arouse me?  ❜

❛  well, let’s do this instead.  ❜

❛  you screamed the whole time, not sure if that’s good or bad.  ❜

❛  make me scream, come on, let’s see if you can. ❜

❛  i just wanna have some fun is all.  ❜

❛  don’t forget who taught you that.  ❜

❛  make me quiver and shake.  ❜

❛  mmm, yes….. that feels nice.  ❜

❛  give it to me rough.  ❜

❛  you don’t have to be so gentle with me.  ❜

❛  mmm, let’s take things slow tonight.  ❜

❛  let’s make each other last all night long.  ❜

❛  what’s wrong? never slept with someone before?  ❜

❛  why are you so nervous? don’t tell me it’s your first time. ❜

❛  just close your eyes and kiss me…  ❜

❛  just touch me where you want to touch me.  ❜

❛  what if i just dropped to my knees now.  ❜

❛  undress me.  ❜

❛  slipping right out these for you now. ❜

[madgirlf]

all my grief says the same thing:this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. and the world laughs. holds my hope by the throat. says:but this is how it is.

Fortesa Latifi

[finnspoe-deactivated20181129]

the 100 meme →  two/seven characters

Screw fear, I’m telling my own damn story.

[quierosentirmebien]

Where did you get those big eyes? My mother. And where did you get those lips? My mother. And the loneliness? My mother. And that broken heart? My mother. And the absence, where did you get that? My father.

Inheritance, Warsan Shire

[blmys-blog]

‘ how fortunate i am in having a traveling companion of such wisdom and intelligence. ’

THE HUFF OF BREATH THAT PASSES THROUGH HIM       is a    laugh,     he’s pretty sure     —     ephemeral,     dry,     and without any real humor in it.     much like her comment,     deadpanned from behind a scrim of sarcasm.     his bones ache with exhaustion and his confidence is shot and still,     somehow,     he keeps moving forward.     keeps putting one foot in front of the other,     running on fumes,     grasping at whatever fortitude he can scrape from the bottom of a reservoir that    should have    been tapped out weeks ago.     months ago.

his persistence is what drew her remark in the first place,     but he feels like repetition is getting him nowhere lately.     feels like he’s beating his fists    bloody    against a door that won’t open,     only to discover there’s been nothing but solid wall from the start.

‘       so,     she has a sense of humor.     who knew.       ’

it’s monotone,     a little hoarse around the edges because he hasn’t had a drink of water in a while and he can taste the rake of    grit    in his throat.     he walks a few more paces,     numb to the bite of steel around his wrists     ;     the chain that connects them swings dully with each step,     keeping time like a pendulum.     then he stops.     turns around to try again.     she’s staring him down,     but that’s all.

for now.

‘       look.     skaikru are    not    the enemy     —     not this time.     when praimfaya comes,     every last person that’s left on the ground without shelter    is going to die.     that means your people too,     echo.     yours,     mine,     and every other clan’s.     i    told    you,     what side you’re on     doesn’t matter     anymore.       ’

given her expression,     and the    ticking time bomb    waiting for roan’s head to enter the crosshairs of his rifle,     bellamy rushes the words     ;     one last - ditch shot in the dark.

‘       you’re loyal to them.     i get that.     hell,     i might even    respect    you for it.     i know what it is to wanna protect your own,     at any cost     —     i helped slaughter an army of trikru warriors because i thought i was doing what was best for my people.     we’ve all got blood on our hands.     but it doesn’t have to end like this.     we    can    save everyone,     but we    have    to work together.     otherwise,     we might as well be dead already     —     your    king    included.     is that what you want   ?     or do you want a chance to    live   ?       ’

meme      /      @azgedan .

[blmys-blog]

also daily reminder that i don’t ship b/ellarke and i think it’s racist and gross and there’s no place for it here, thx !

[lucybaird]

       // andrea gibson

[blmys-blog]

‘ they aren’t going to come back, are they? ’

‘       HEY.     LISTEN TO ME.     WE ARE    ALL    GONNA GET OUT OF HERE,     but we need to stay focused.     can you do that   ?       ’

his voice is calmer than his pulse,     steadier than his nerves     ;     this disaster is counting down fast towards    launch    in both a literal and figurative sense,     and they’re feeling it as a collective.     it’s written just as plainly on murphy as anyone else,     though bellamy has to give him credit     —     he’s done a hell of a good job at hiding it so far.

but that big doomsday clock is ticking.     they’re almost out of time.

a twitch of jaw muscles as his gaze flickers to look past murphy’s shoulder,     towards the lab entrance.     raven has to be well on her way back by now.     clarke    has    to be almost finished rerouting power to the go - sci ring.     they’d be stumbling inside at any second.

c’mon,     raven.     we need you.

(    they aren’t going to come back,     are they   ?    )

‘       yeah,       ’       murphy says,       ‘       i can do that.     can you   ?       ’

he swallows,     throat dry,     tongue soured with a panic that swells in his chest but doesn’t make it past his teeth because they    don’t have time    for panic.     panic gets you killed.

you,     or somebody you care about.

their eyes catch and he nods,     a single curt motion.       ‘       help me finish loading up.     we should be ready when they get back.       ’

meme      /      @jmrph .

[blmys-blog]

‘ you’d have to be an explorer to find your way around in this fog. ’

‘       EITHER THAT OR A GROUNDER.       that’s the point.       ’       it’s easy to lose your bearings on unfamiliar turf,     easier still with the imminent threat of    death    hovering constantly above their heads like a sword of damocles.     the fog in question     —     the regular kind,     not the    burn your skin off    kind     —     had started at such a gradual crawl that they hadn’t noticed right away,     its creeping tendrils barely a lacuna in their peripheral vision.     if he were to guess,     given the blind spots that begin at about five feet in every direction,     he’d say it was already rolling off the water when they’d left camp just under three hours ago.

on the one hand,     readily provided cover makes him feel less like a sitting duck     ;     but on the other hand,     cover    won’t matter if they end up going in circles because they can’t fucking    see.

murphy’s wandered ahead a couple of cautious paces,     and even that minor span of distance makes him harder to see.     for bellamy,     at least     —     something tells him a    sentry    waiting for a kill shot in one of these trees could see him just fine.

his heart thuds up against the base of his throat.     urgent.

more so than he’d like.

‘       …     damn it.     murphy,       ’       two strides bring them level,     one hand braced on the rifle at his side while the other grabs for murphy’s shoulder,     a clear prompt to    stop.     voice low,     an edge to it,       ‘       what the hell are you doing   ?     fall back.     we’re not going anywhere until this clears up.       ’

meme      /      @jmrph .

[blmys-blog]

AZGEDAN      /      ECHO .

YOU WERE A CHILD OF AZGEDA.          and as such,     you were not told stories of  beautiful men  and sea nymphs.          the tales you heard were of  honour,     of war and  sacrifice,     loyalty and courage.          they would lay down the foundation of your faith in azgeda for the queen to build upon in later years.          you look at him,     hand tucked beneath your chin,     and see a  fondness  in him    ––    a love one could only have for a sibling.               ❛          i don’t blame them for doing so.          cursed how  ?          ❜

‘       HE ONLY EVER GAVE A DAMN       about himself,     so artemis made him fall in love with his own reflection     —     something that couldn’t love him back.     they wanted him to know how that felt,     like echo did.       ’       she’d been almost    indignant    to share the nymph’s name at first     ;     now she looks a little more attentive,     a little more curious.     there’s a hairpin curve at the corner of his mouth again.       ‘       i know.     a guy staring at his reflection until he dies isn’t exactly    inspiring.     the greeks had better stories than that.       ’

[finnspoe-deactivated20181129]

[blmys-blog]

AZGEDAN      /      ECHO .

❛          FOOLISH GIRL.          ❜          you spit this like a curse,     nose crinkling with disdain.          you cannot imagine it    ––    pouring your affection into a man that does not  deserve  it.          allowing yourself to become  weak.         he has explained to you that this is a myth,     and that it is not to be believed.          still,     you pity the girl in this tale,     the one that bears your name.          ❛          i must say,     i’m not  impressed.          ❜          @blmys

IT’S ONE OF THE STORIES       his mother used to read.     narcissus,     a hunter praised for his beauty,     and echo,     the nymph who fell tragically in love with him.       ‘       yeah.     octavia never liked it much,     either.       ’       she had bigger dreams than    chasing boys.     he smiles at the memory,     half wistful,     half amused by the reaction.       ‘       the gods cursed him,     though.     she liked that part.       ’

[blmys-blog]

AZGEDAN      /      ECHO .

IT BEGAN WITH A MAELSTROM OF VIOLENCE.          from the moment their feet touched ground,     it was war.          word traveled fast across their lands,     and it wasn’t long before all twelve clans knew of their arrival.          hostiles,     they had called them    ––    children that fell from the sky,     burned their villages and slaughtered three - hundred of their  warriors  in a ring of fire.

and it did not stop there.          before the coalition named skaikru as the thirteenth clan,     azgeda had their orders:     kill  on sight  any sky person that dared cross onto their territory.          there would be no negotiation with the  bringers of death.          but the threat of the mountain forced their hand,     and skaikru was safe under the commander’s protection.

this did not bode well with the queen.          in hindsight,     not much did.          you try to imagine a world where she is alive.          a world where the coalition has crumbled and  wonkru  did not exist.          a world where  praimfaya  did not threaten the land.          you do not see him here.          you see his blood on your hands,     and that of okteivia and klark kom skaikru.          you feel the press of the earth against your knees as you kneel before your queen and declare the last of skaikru dead.

azgeda has risen into power.          

your heart soars when you look at him and catch the rise and fall of his chest,     the pattern of his breathing.          this world you have imagined does not exist and for that,     you are the most grateful.          you swallow around the lump in your throat and angle to face him.          you want to look at something  alive  instead of dead.          ❛         you speak well.     for a sky person.          ❜          his next words give you pause.          you,     too,     had seen them.

❛          i don’t understand.          if you were already  surviving  on the ground,     why would your leader sacrifice the lives of his people instead of sending them down after you  ?          ❜

‘       BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T KNOW.       i saw to that.       ’       he says those four words without thinking,     without stopping to consider that she might expect more.

shumway’s proposal is still fresh in his mind,     heavy as the gun he’d given him alongside an opportunity he couldn’t pass up     :     a place on the dropship with the delinquents,     and a chance to be there for octavia on the ground.     the    moral    side of it was an easy sell.     he had felt no sense of solidarity towards jaha,     or the council     —     the people who floated his mother and put his sister in the sky box,     left him alone for a    year    before the hundred’s exodus.     but clarke and raven were right     ;     he was selfish.

it occurs to him,     as he turns from earth’s inferno to meet echo’s eyes,     that he isn’t as guarded with her as he should be.     that there’s more solidarity    here,     right now,     between the two of them,     than he’d ever felt on the ark.     do you think we’ll ever be able to trust each other again   ?

time will tell.     maybe he’s just tired of fighting.

‘       raven came down after us.       ’       it’s low,     a little strained,     but he doesn’t look away this time.       ‘       she brought a radio with her.     if she found us    alive,     she was supposed to contact the ark and stop the culling,     and everybody else would follow.     as long as she had that radio,     nobody had to die.       ’

the flicker of a grim smile,     ruefully self - aware.

‘       she was unconscious when she landed.     i found the crash site,     stole the radio,    and threw it in the river.     those people are dead because of me.     because i was too much of a    coward    to face what i’d done to get there.     we called    your    people savages,     but mine were turning on each other long before we came back to earth.       ’

[wildlittlebirdd]

[blmys-blog]

AZGEDAN      /      ECHO .

YOU’RE TIGHT AROUND HIM,     wet and inviting    ––    it must be  liberating  for him to be in control,     to push the limit without fear of repercussion.          on the ground,     the hand that grips your wrist and  twists  would have been met with a cold fury.          here,     it is met with obedience and the hook of a small grin,     an exhaled breath that toes the line between a scoff and laughter.

you feel  empty  without him,     without the thrust of his fingers,     the stroke of his thumb over your clit.          you allow him to push you back and pull your pants the rest of the way down,     tear them off in a hurry before he drops to his knees between your legs.

this is what you feel:     a spread of  warmth,     the flat of his tongue as he tastes you for the first time,     licks into you.          fingers find their way back into his hair,     gripping a fistful until your knuckles turn white and you breathe out his name.          you still  ache  for him inside you,     but  this,     this incredible thing he does with his mouth and the way his fingertips dig into your flesh  threatening  to bruise,     quells that desire for the time being.

the only thing you want  now  is to come.          you feel the gathering of pleasure between your hips,     the sweat that beads on your skin and between your breasts.

and this is what you do:         you pull at his hair and arch for him,     roll your hips to meet every wash of his tongue.          you no longer fight to repress the noises that build in the column of your throat.          the  sounds  you make will humiliate you later and you’ll want to hide from them,     because they  never  started small,     or soft,     or quiet.

your thighs tremble,     and all it takes is the lap of his tongue across your clit to finally push you over the edge.          to have you falling apart,     an explosion of euphoria stippling white behind your eyelids.

SHE’S A WARM BODY,     THAT’S ALL.       someone to bleed all of the anger and the resentment and the guilt and the grief and the sheer bone - breaking    exhaustion    out of him,     at least for a while.     she tastes like penance and absolution.     whether it’s hers,     or his own,     or both,     he doesn’t know.     doesn’t care to find out.

his mouth is ceaseless until the last second,     and then a few more seconds after that,     and she’s pulling at his hair so hard that he’s surprised it hasn’t    ripped    from his scalp yet.     tongue laves one last time from bottom to top,     circling that oversensitive bundle of nerves that makes her thighs shake and her moans rise in pitch     ;     she’d stopped holding back,     at some point between the synchronous lift of her hips and the hand he’d reached up underneath her shirt.

both palms find bare hips again as he straightens,     yanks her forward across the table’s uneven surface to cup her jaw.     a kiss flush against her open mouth,     as bruising as his fingers had been.     he wants her to     taste herself     on him,     wants it to    linger    when he’s fucking her.

he lets her pull his shirt over his head the next time she tries,     finally lets her draw him out     ;     bites back the noise he makes as he chases friction with the tip of his cock before she takes him inside her.

before she    tightens    around him,     nails grazing his back,     and he stops thinking.

they lapse into a rhythm that feels like they’ve already done this,     like their bodies already    knew.     she’s beautiful     —     he never noticed before,     never looked at her the way he’s looking at her now.     throat exposed,     lips parted,     sweating and breathless and laid bare in every sense of the term.     he knows he’s looked for too long when he slows the pace,     almost    softens,     and that’s not why they’re doing this.     that’s not what he wanted.

it’s abrupt,     what he does next.     rough.     a moment or two to reposition,     to pull out and haul her to her feet,     turn her away,     shove    until she’s bent forward at the waist.     inside her,     again.     the slam of hips and the imprint of hands and the fingers that wind in her hair.     broken exhale,     rasping,     cursing.

this    is what he wanted.

[blmys-blog]

‘ it was sensible of you to bring protection. ’

‘       THE LAST TIME WE SAW EACH OTHER,       you walked us into a trap and forty - nine of my people ended up dead.     what’d you expect,     that i’d take you at your word   ?       ’

he’s wondered,     more than once,     if she’d only helped to subdue that guard in order to lay the first paving stone for azgeda’s plan.     to give herself an    in    when the moment came,     because of course he would vouch for her.     she saved my life,     he’d said.     we can trust her.     but her loyalty isn’t to him,     no matter what happened in that mountain the first time around.     that much is clear.

her only loyalty is to her clan.     not skaikru,     not trikru,     not lexa’s coalition.     she would die for her people,     just like he would die for his.     they owe each other    nothing.

jaw is set     ;     the hardened slant of his stare is dark with detachment,     reflecting firelight like the gunmetal of a rifle.

‘       now unless the next words out of your mouth are the terms of the ice nation’s    surrender,     let’s get back on point.     i’m not here to play games,     echo.     i’m here to negotiate.       ’

meme      /      @azgedan .