Blog~ish

[blog-ish]

Sorry Not Sorry

I’ve been thinking a lot for the last few days about the human tendency (or lack there of) to feel remorse in different situations. We are taught the golden rule from a very young age - “Treat others as you would want to be treated. However, as you grow older and wiser, you learn that people are different - their triggers, sensitivity, preferences, communication style, reactions, and much more. With that you begin to understand that the golden rule really should have always been to - 

“Treat others as THEY would like to be treated.”

Growing up with the understanding that what doesn’t hurt us won’t - or worse, shouldn’t hurt others is false guiding principle that many of us take with us into adulthood. 

This problem is the worst when we are addressing emotional pain. If the pain we have caused another person is physical, it is typically easier for us to understand - because everyone feels physical pain. If somebody bumps their knee or steps on a lego (that is the WORST) we know what that feels like, because chances are we have felt it. Emotional pain however is much more difficult to understand, because everyone feels differently.

Here is an example that I think about pretty often: 

If you run into a stranger on the street or accidentally spill somebody’s drink at the bar - what is your first reaction? For most of us, it is “I’m so sorry!” or “Excuse me, I am not watching where I am going.” We immediately own up to our faults - intentional or not. Our actions either hurt or inconvenienced somebody else, and when there is physical evidence there is no denying it. We don’t even try.

However, think about when you cause somebody emotional pain. Pain that you can not see, or understand because you are blinded by the golden rule or too caught up in what you intended to do. Sometimes when a loved one or even stranger confronts us to tell us that we hurt them - emotionally. We go straight into focusing on our intentions. We defend ourselves because we didn’t intend to cause anybody pain or because the same action would not cause us pain if the roles were reversed. If you take a step back and think about the situation objectively, you will realize that you are so far from the point.

When somebody tells you that they are hurt, it is a fact. It is a fact to them, therefore what they are saying is their truth. No intention or defense can deny what they are feeling regardless of whether you can see it or know what it feels like. So I encourage everyone to practice giving the truths of others just as much importance and respect as your own truths. 

You wouldn’t accidentally step on somebody’s foot and then say “I didn’t mean to step on your foot” you just say “oops, I’m sorry.” It is simple and natural. If you cause somebody accidental heartache - the reaction should be the same. 

Focus on their feelings rather than your intentions. Treat their feelings as fact, because they are. Most importantly, treat those around you as they would like to be treated.

[blog-ish]

The light in me honors the light in you.

Namaste & Sal Mubarak!

Today is the Hindu New Year. “Sal Mubarak” means Happy New Year in Hindi. It is also the 4th day of Diwali, which is the Hindu Festival of Lights.

For those that do not celebrate it - think of it as Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years all combined into a week of celebration, family, delicious food, prayer, and fireworks. People spend the days leading up to Diwali preparing food and cleaning their homes. The significance of cleaning is to create an auspicious environment to be blessed and filled with positive energy. Every evening during Diwali, we light oil lamps called diyas outside and throughout the home.

Why light diyas?

Here is a very brief overview of the story:

This tradition dates back to the Ramayan. The Ramayan is an ancient Indian scripture telling the story of Rama - the Prince of Ayodhya as well as a devoutly worshipped Hindu deity. When the time came for Ram to take the throne and become king, one of the king’s wives thought that her son should be heir instead, and exiled Ram to the jungle for 14 years. His brother Lakshman and his wife Sita accompanied him. During this time, they faced and overcame a number of battles. At the end of the 14 years, the entire city of Ayodhya lit diyas in the streets to help guide and welcome Ram home. They had been waiting for their humble king for all those years.

The moral of the story is that with a kind heart, good intentions, prayer, and perseverance good will always triumph over evil. The queen that banished Ram was acting with bias and greed, but out of respect Ram was willing to do whatever his family asked of him. Throughout the journey, he faced trials and tribulations but overcame them with the support and prayers of his family and devout followers.

I skipped over a lot of major details, so the full story can be found here: https://www.mapsofindia.com/fairs-and-festivals/diwali/story-of-ram.html

Just like the city of Ayodhya lit diyas to guide Ram home, about a billion people light diyas today to guide God into their homes - so that God may bless them and their families with good health, prosperity, and happiness for the upcoming year.  

Along with being a guide - the diya’s light represents knowledge, hope, and unity. One of my favorite quotes is...

“Thousands of candles can be lit from the flame of a single candle, but the life of the candle will not shorten. Happiness never decreases by being shared” - Buddha

Diyas teach us to always act with generosity and kindness - not only because it is the right thing to do, but because you aren’t going to lose anything. You can share your light with others, and your flame will still keep burning.

What do I wish for in the New Year?

This is a time to show gratitude for all of the blessings we have in our lives. We pay respect to our loved ones and thank them for their eternal blessings.

In addition to being thankful for what we have, it is a time to look ahead and determine what we want to do differently. I have always loved New Years for that very reason. It is a new beginning, and although you never need an opportunity to set new goals or create “resolutions,” it is nice to have a holiday dedicated to marking the beginning of a new chapter so that we can all reset and re-evaluate.

My hope this year is that everyone is able to recognize and feel the flame that burns inside of them year round. This flame creates the spark you need to follow your dreams and achieve your goals. It is the same flame that helps you maintain a warm heart so that you may act with kindness, humility, and loyalty.

I will end with the fact that - we all have that flame. No matter your race, religion, gender, or beliefs. Namaste means “The light in me honors the light in you.” It is an ode to the fact that we ALL have a light. We all want health, happiness, success, and love in our lives. Let us spend this year focusing on what unites us - even with the people that may seem the most different. Honor the light in yourself, by honoring that of people around you.

I wish everyone a very Happy Diwali and an incredibly prosperous year ahead. May the light of the diyas keep burning all year long to guide you to happiness, health, and joy!

[quotemadness]

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.

C. S. Lewis (via quotemadness)

[oliviafitmomof3]

[blog-ish]

Couldn’t have said it better myself. I have struggled with my self-image and weight for several years. I have gone through phases of vigorous exercise and dieting to get immediate results and seen no significant improvement. “Slow and steady wins the race” is the best way to describe what I have learned. You have to be patient and loving to your body - it is the only one you have, and it is always there holding you up.

Do not work for a transformation in your body but rather strive for building healthy habits. It takes 21 days to build a habit. I have tried and failed several times to do something for 21 days straight. Here I am on day 18 of working out. That doesn’t mean hitting the gym everyday - but just making a conscious effort to have 30 minutes of physical activity in my daily routine - yoga, walking, kickboxing, dance, just something to get my heart rate up and of course get me closer to 21 days. 

As you do this you won’t always see the inches fall off, but you see a transformation in your strength, stamina, flexibility, and most importantly discipline. Once you have that, you can ramp up to meet your fitness goals. You need a strong foundation for your house to stand on. Your body is a temple - you have to make sure it is supported.

[blog-ish]

It’s Fall Y’all!

Last Monday was the Fall Equinox, marking the end of summer and the first day of autumn - my favorite season! The beginning of every new season is marked by either a solstice (for summer and winter) or an equinox (for fall and spring).

With the new season comes cool autumn air, colorful trees, new wardrobes, and of course the long awaited Pumpkin Spice Latte. This is a time of change, filled with more than just football, corn mazes, and hot apple cider. For me, it is a time of inspiration and transformation.

An equinox occurs when the sun crosses over the equator. As the name indicates, on this day we experience the same amount of day as we do night. This represents the need for balance. There are only two days out of the year where the Earth experiences this [almost] perfect equilibrium, and it should serve as a reminder to take the time to acknowledge the importance of balance in our own lives. As priorities change throughout the year, it is natural to shift your energy to different aspects of your life just like the changing tilt of Earth’s axis. You will not always have the perfect balance of work and play or family and friends. You can however, remember to check in with yourself and make sure that you are focusing on the aspects of your life that are most important to you at that time. If needed, take this opportunity to rearrange priorities and shift your focus. In order to maintain balance, change is inevitable and absolutely necessary. After all, that is why the Earth goes round.

The most obvious purpose of the equinox is to signal a change in climate, but it signals a transitional period for people as well. The poem below by JM Storm summarizes my thoughts perfectly.

This can mean different things for different people, but I will explain what my October looks like:

Throughout the summer, branches fill with bright green leaves to provide us with shade. For me, this represents protection from all of my fears and insecurities. The leaves look vibrant and full, but they are also incredibly easy to hide behind.

As the summer comes to a close and leaves start to change color, we begin to see spots of orange, yellow and red appear on the branches. This gives me the confidence to start showing my true colors. It is a time that I feel expressive and want to flaunt my individuality. I start to value my most unique thoughts and traits, rather than feeling pressured into uniformity.

Very soon, the leaves will start to fall from the trees, leaving them bare for the winter. This represents shedding the old and preparing for the new. It reminds me how powerful shedding negativity can be, and how important it is to open myself up to new possibilities. Being open can lead to vulnerability and discomfort, but that is absolutely okay. I have to constantly remind myself that growth will not come from staying in my comfort zone. I have to branch out (literally).

For those that believe in astrology, the movement of planets is believed to have a significant spiritual impact on people. This is the belief that every movement is linked to a shift in energy that we may not always feel, but impacts us subconsciously. This energy shift for people is just as real as the leaves turning color. It may not be as easy to see, but embrace your October and draw inspiration from the transformation taking place around you. Just like Earth cycles through seasons, people do too - the only difference being, that people get to pick their colors and what all their season brings.

[blog-ish]

Objects at rest tend to stay at rest. Objects in motion tend to stay in motion.

This is Newton’s first law of motion and also my favorite quote. The meaning of Newton’s first law goes well beyond just its scientific significance. I believe that it holds true at a physiological and psychological level as well. 

Newton explains - If an object is at rest, it will not move unless acted upon by a force. Similarly, if an object is moving along a path, it will not change course or stop unless compelled to by a force or impact. Don’t worry, the crash course in physics is over now, and I will get to why this philosophy is so important to understand on a personal level.

“I am the most productive when I am busy.” The idea that as humans we work better under pressure can easily be explained by Newton’s first law. If you are constantly on the go - from work to the gym to the store to a night out with friends, you are much less likely to stop. You may feel tired at the end of the day, but throughout the day your body finds the energy to keep going. You are fueled by the inherent desire to remain in motion. The opposite also holds true. If you are in bed or on the couch feeling cozy with a cup of tea and your favorite TV show, you are far less likely to leave that space. 

My intention is not to say that you always need to be on the go, just that everyone should take the time to recognize and understand a few things:

What state are you currently in?

What state do you want to be in?

You have to dig deep for this one - what state do you need to be in?

Realizing that what you need may be different from what you want is key here. We often find ourselves disappointed that we haven’t met our goals or by situations that kill our spirit. Those are just forces acting in the opposite direction, and what your mind and body naturally want to do is stop or slow down - because according to the physical world that is the law. The part that we tend to forget is that you need a force to start moving again, and that force needs to come from within you. Your goals are still there waiting for you to conquer them - you need to get back in motion. If you start moving and course correcting as roadblocks come your way, it is inevitable that you will begin succeeding at some point.

As with everything in life, balance is an absolute necessity. After all - for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. You can’t always be on the move. Your mind and body need rest as well. If that is what you need, then give in to those forces and just stop. Give yourself rest, but remember to find the energy to get up and moving again when the time is right. 

All in all, I think that the key to achieving something - anything you want, is to just start. I guess Nike was really onto something with “Just Do It.” It is the obvious first step that many of us ignore while we focus on the hurdles that lie ahead or forces acting against us. 

Just start moving, and you will remain in motion. Thankfully, if you pair motion with passion, skill, authenticity, and determination, then physics tells us you will also start to build momentum (mass x velocity). From there, the sky is the limit! 

[poems-and-word]

[blog-ish]

[blog-ish]

[blog-ish]

Hi! I’m Ishani.

I’m an engineer, dancer, feminist, and amateur yogi. I have a love for coffee, travel, food, naps, views, books, hikes, and the list can go on and on!

I admire bloggers and all of the expertise and effort that goes into providing the most eloquent advice often paired with the perfect photo. As for me, I am a perfectionist with no patience and passionate about many things with no niche. That’s why I would say that this isn’t quite a blog... it’s just like one (hence, blog-ish).

I think of this as a medium for me to get my thoughts on paper. I just turned 26, and if there is anything I have learned in the last quarter of a century, it is that change is constant and more often than not, out of your control. The other thing I have realized, is that you can always grow and get better at handling change. I am not one to put my thoughts out there for all or anyone to see. Sometimes in order to become more comfortable with change, you have to create it. So here goes... Enjoy :)