What Thor said was half heard below the drowning wave of memories that had crashed into his mind. They were coming more readily now, jumbled, incoherent, but one triggering another, derailing it as it was half through. The Battle of New York, the Other’s threat, a battered body already weak, could he be blamed for shaking? Or for the cold tears that stung to his cheeks?
It was his brother’s hand on his shoulder that pulled him out of those memories and with a jolt and a short intake of breath, the consuming blankness that had come over his eyes faded. He saw Thor’s worried face, he saw the ruined wall, he saw his bloodied leg.
He blinked. Was able to draw in a breath. Then blinked again. Loki couldn’t help but think he’d been better off as Serrure. Lifting away the towel, he exposed the torn skin to the light. It was a scratch, bleeding heavily for how long it stretched, but not deep.
It hurt. Yet he remembered being hurt before, tortured and beaten. This was nothing.
“I sought you out because I was alone. Because the world had fallen to ashes and I’d come to doubt whether there was anyone else who would care that I had lived through it,” Loki said thickly, something of the human he’d thought himself to be until that morning, the vulnerability the old Loki had known better than to show. He’d learned what weakness could bring, learned what it was to be the victim and not the… That was why.
“What do I have but to be him? Even with all the horrors he brought about… and those he endured?“ It seemed, in whichever life he lived, he was doomed to never have a choice. He didn’t want to be the sort of man who would kill, yet he saw that within his mind, a man who found relief in causing pain that was not his own. Who, in his insanity, half-knew what he was doing, half-cared. Who only realized it later when he was in the relative safety of a dungeon - Yes, yes, he’d been taken back to Asgard, put in chains, given small niceties to keep him quiet - that he’d realized what he’d done and fought, and failed, to explain it away to himself and others. Never quite managed that. So many excuses, yet the most untainted truth was that he’d done what he needed to do to escape being Thanos’ victim. It hadn’t stuck.
Now he knew the ‘why’. And why, also, he’d never dared speak of it.
"I care. I'm glad you found me, Loki. I wouldn't have known to look for you. I would have spent my life thinking you dead and mourning you. Perhaps it is selfish and I'm sorry if this life is not the one you might have chosen for yourself but it is your life, with me and I....I would have you with me. This is not all that you are. This is not all that you were. You may not remember it now, but in our many years, it has not all been horrible. There was more than pain," Thor insisted. "Listen, we will be at headquarters in less than two hours. If it makes you more comfortable, you need not stay there. I will find somewhere else for you. Somewhere safe. I watched you die, I held your body, and I cannot bare to lose you again. I would have you close, but not at the expense of your..." He gestured at Loki, as if to encompass his entire being.
"All I can promise you is that you will not be chained, nor caged. You are a...citizen of Asgard!" He said, as if it suddenly occurred to him. "And I am King. Surely that means you are under my protection. I do not claim to be familiar with Midgardian politics, but I know that you are one of my people, and that I am responsible for you." He paused and stood once more, with some effort given his size. "Loki, come. Let me tend your leg, unless you remember how to heal yourself. There is...a first aid kit by the cockpit." He motioned towards the front of the plane, and then reached out and offered Loki a hand. "When we reach the headquarters, you don't need to meet with them if you desire to be alone. I will keep my time there short, so that we might be on our way once the situation is explained.
"Until today, I had nothing. My future was only to find Thanos and kill him. I had no hope for anything else. I dared not, lest it be taken from me. But you found me, Loki. You found me and that is more than I could have thought possible. I am here for you, brother. I will do whatever is necessary to see you in some kind of comfort. I hate to see you like this. It breaks my heart."
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