warnings: fluff, depicts ill mental health so TRIGGER WARNING, swearing, she/her pronouns.
summary: in which the reader who is suffering extremely bad with her mental health avoids telling her boyfriend Matt that she’s struggling again in fear of setting him back.
note: all of my work is completely fictional. i do not know the triplets personally and therefore all characteristics and mannerisms are not an realistic/accurate representation of them or their personalities in real life. i write for fun. i do not write smut or anything along those lines. there could potentially be mentions of topics that may trigger people, but they will be very vague and will not be in relation to the triplets. i also will not write anything including topics as such involving the triplets. enjoy!
A/N: fun fact - been wanting to write this ever since Billie brought out WWIMF because this is how I feel my relationship with Matt would be if we dated. would highly recommend listening to the song along with rain added on YT for ultimate feels. Also, I’m deffo gonna make a p2 but I might make a proper fic out of this if people want. that’s all lmao.
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« When did it end? All the enjoyment, I'm sad again, don't tell my boyfriend, It's not what he's made for, What was I made for? »
3am. I sit in my car in the empty McDonald’s carpark alone, my knees clutched to my chest and my head buried into my lap as I sob relentlessly. The soft hum of Billie Eilish’s voice and the torrential rain pelting down outside provides a haunting backdrop for my current state. The world outside, cloaked in darkness and drenched in sorrow, seemed to echo the tumultuous emotions that engulfed me in this lonely hour.
The thought of my boyfriend Matthew finding out about not only my whereabouts but my miserably depressed and lonesome condition right now sickens me to my core, much more than anything else bothering me in this moment ever could. Because the truth of the matter is, it would not only crush him, but it would anger him. And I know it.
We’ve been dating for a year now and trust me when I say i’ve never ever felt so privileged and grateful for anything else in my entire life. He’s just a wonderfully soft, humble and kind human being, too pure for this world sometimes alone. He’s incredibly loyal and committed; protective and family-oriented, fun, humourous and sociable around people he’s comfortable with. He’s empathetic and understanding, supportive and encouraging. Not a day goes by where he doesn’t make me feel loved and important.
We started off as friends, as most people do. Eventually we just got closer and closer until one night we were sat in his room playing playstation and a little flirting here and there inevitably led to his confession of more-than-just platonic feelings for me. I admitted my feelings too, and that whole night I sobbed in his arms, but not for the reason you’d expect. Matt asked me to be his girlfriend, but I said no and we actually didn’t actually get together until a week or so after that. Why?Because as much as I loved him back, I was terrified to be with him. I was terrified of hurting him. Not because I had any doubts about my feelings or loyalty towards him or anything along the lines of that. But because it was going to be his first proper relationship as an adult, and I was scared of my mental health and my past relationships being too much for him. I was scared of adding to his own struggles, I was scared of ruining his perception of love and above all, hurting the most important person to ever exist in my life; the person I cared about most.
But of course Matt being Matt, this made him ever so determined. He convinced me to give us a chance. His exact words were “try, please, just try”. And so I did. I gave in to his puppy dog eyes and his gentle little soul willing to take on me and everything that came with being in a relationship with me. He wanted to be the first one to ever love me properly. And although I was scared, he wasn’t. And to him, that was all that mattered.
But the issue was that Matt’s also sensitive and shy and emotional, and at times a little stubborn, opinionated and argumentative. His anxiety eats him up like a thief in the night and his mental health causes him to become irritable and distant at times. Which is why despite his protests and constant reminders to speak up to him, I try to keep quiet when I’m struggling myself. Because him being in a good place and having a somewhat quiet mind was all that mattered to me, and I didn’t ever want to ruin that.
So here I sit, at 3am in my car all alone, whilst he sleeps soundly without even an inkling, the way I didn’t want it to be, but needed it to be. As I lift my head up and wipe away my tears that I have been choking on, my phone thrown across the passenger seat illuminates in the darkness. I stare at it momentarily, petrified to even touch it. ‘He’s awake. He knows’ is all I can think to myself. My heart races and my head scrambles as I try to pluck up the courage to reach across the centre console and retrieve the device. I take one last deep breath, before finally stretching over and getting it. I gulp as I look at the screen through blurry, puffy eyes.
A bittersweet mixture of relief and terror washes over me, as Chris’ name reads across the screen. I sigh, unlocking it and swiping across from the camera to conversations list on Snapchat, curiosity getting the better of me. A pit in my stomach forms as I realise it’s not just a photo snap, but a blue chat. I half swipe, slumping into the seat as though to shield myself for what I’m about to read. Chris’ message is my Snapchat location sent back to me, with another reading ‘bro what’s going on? why the fuck are you at the McDonald’s carpark at this time? Explain kid. Now.’ I was only now realising that I had forgot to turn it off.
My body starts to tremble and my hands begin to shake as I continue to cry. His message is met with a sequence of continuous loud screams, sobs and repeated ‘fuck’s’. I debate on what to do, but realising Matt was probably now already awake and aware of my current whereabouts thanks to Chris, I eventually decide on calling Chris. The call rings out the first time, so I try again. I bite my lip anxiously awaiting Chris to answer and shout at me, half out of worry for my wellbeing, the other out of worry that I could potentially be out cheating on his brother. Finally, he picks up.
“hello?” I clear my throat with a cough, and mumble hesitantly into phone.
“Kid, what the fucks going on?” he groggily croaks back, his tone a lot softer than I had expected.
“i’m on my own. I promise.” I respond immediately. “I just..”
“okayy..” Chris replies, drawing out the ‘y’s’. “Just what?”
I don’t respond straight away, trying to compose myself as best I can. The only sound through the silence to be my further bawling only concerns Chris more, and it prompts him to speak up again, this time more alert and worried.
“Dude just what? What’s going on? Talk to me.” he questions further.
“I can’t.” I whine, through sniffles.
“Kid swear down you’re freaking me out here. Please just.. just fucking try okay? Are you safe?” he utters, his voice breaking a little in the process. A small and frail ‘yea’ is all I manage to get out. “Okay, okay. Thank fuck. So what is it then? Did you cheat?” he enquires.
“No no, Chris, no. Fuck.” I announce, the pain in my chest at the thought of Chris thinking the unthinkable only increasing and hurting me more.
“alright.” he sighs out of relief, but his voice is still a hint doubtful. “kid, please just tell me what’s going on. I just wanna know you’re okay.”
“…I’m just sad and I don’t.. I don’t even fucking know Chris I just.. I don’t know how to feel..” I admit, the words barely even audible through my tears.
“shhh. shhh okay? calm down. I’m waking Matt up now, he’ll come get you okay?” his voice responds panicked.
“No. No Chris you can’t. Please don’t. Please I’m begging you just.. just don’t.” I cry even louder, shaking my head and throwing it back against the headrest.
“what? why? Y/N you’re not okay, he needs to come get you. It’s not safe for you to be on your own out there, especially in such a vulnerable state.” He adds in confusion and distress, shuffling around his room.
“Chris please. He’s doing so good at the moment with everything he just… he doesn’t need this. Please. Promise me you won’t tell him?” I plead with him, praying he doesn’t wake Matt.
“Kid what? Y/N you’re his fucking girlfriend. What do you mean he doesn’t need this? Yeah he’s in a good place right now, we all are. But that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to us especially Matt if you’re not? Fuck dude, do you know how much that kid loves and cares about you? The last thing any of us want is you suffering alone. And do you know how much both him and Nick would kill me if I don’t go wake him up right now and tell him and they found out? I’m not about to just hang up this call knowing my brother’s girlfriend, my fucking friend is a mess out alone in a carpark at 3am. What you expect me to just.. go back asleep? That’s just.. not happening bruh. I’m sorry. No fucking chance kid.” Chris announces, his voice stern yet gentle. I sigh, resting my head against the window, the condensation from the rain and the steam from my crying practically baptising my head.
“…okay, okay.” I respond in a whisper, accepting what was already the inevitable.
“alright just.. stay there. Please. I’m gonna hang up but as soon as he wakes up he’ll probably call you before he gets in the car and starts driving to you. Just.. please, promise me you’ll stay there.” he croaks himself, on the verge of tears.
“I promise.” I say, closing my eyes in defeat.
“alright in a bit, love ya kid.” he answers, before hanging up and leaving me with nothing but the patters of rain splashing against the bonnet of my car and soft radio playing in the background.
・❥・
A few minutes go by, and as I rest my head against the steering wheel in front of me, I feel my phone vibrate and my gaze meets my lap. Matt’s name reads on the screen, and I let a few more loose tears stream down my face before picking up. I stay silent and wait for him to talk, preparing myself for the storm much fiercer than the ongoing one outside to commence. He sighs before speaking up, much calmer than anticipated.
“I’m just letting you know it’s me. I’m here.” he reports, as a set of headlights appear in my rearview, coming towards my car.
“Okay.” I mouth, before the call hangs up and within a few seconds he’s pulled up beside me. I place phone back into the centre console and pull the hood of my hoodie up over my head. A familiar face is stood at the window of my car now, reaching his hand out to open my drivers door. When it does, my own little sad and vulnerable face is met with an ever sadder and sympathetic one, shaking his head.
“Come here.” He sighs, reaching his arms out for me to stand up from my seated position in the vehicle and return his warm embrace outside in the cold Autumn’s air and rain. I do so, and as soon as I’m in his hold, he wraps his arms around me and the both of us automatically sob; me into his chest, him into my hair, the rain almost like a metaphor for us in this moment. “why didn’t you just tell me?”
I close my eyes and try to reply, though my throat is sore and scratchy.
“because..it’s not what you’re made for Matt.” I answer, causing him to pull away from our hug and stare down at me in confusion, his hands still holding onto my arms either side.
“what?” he cries, furrowing his eyebrows as his eyes scan my face for any form of an explanation before I give him one verbally. I shake my head, just pouting at him sadly. “look Y/N, just grab what you need out of your car for tonight and lock it. you can explain before we go home. Please, let’s just get out of this rain. You’re freezing kid.” he says, letting go of me and making his way toward the back of his own car and around to the other side. I do as he says, and when I’m finished, he reaches across to open the door for me from the drivers seat. I sit inside and close the door beside me, as he watches me, an elbow rested on the side arm rest of the door, words waiting to part his lips again. “So.. I don’t- I don’t understand. What do you mean by that?”
“Matt, it’s literally like the song says. ‘I’m sad again, don’t tell my boyfriend, it’s not what he’s made for.’ You already have anxiety and.. and your own things going on I just.. I didn’t want you seeing me like this because.. I don’t want to make my problems your problems too. I’m sorry I just.. you deserve someone who..” I cry back.
“Who what?” he asks, turning his head in despair, my voice breaking shattering his heart like I knew it would and desperately tried to avoid. I remain silent, unable to get the words out. “WHO WHAT??” he raises his voice, but immediately regrets it.
“Who isn’t ME!” I shout back, but inevitably I break down even further. “Who isn’t fucked up with all these issues. Who, can be your rock when you need them to be. Who helps ease your anxiety not add to it. Who isn’t a fucking mess all the time. I can’t be what you need me to be.”
“Are you fucking kidding me right now? You’re kidding me right? There’s no way the words actually just came out of your mouth. Kid first of all, we all have fucking issues. Holy fuck, it’s a part of life. We all got em’. Second, I don’t want someone who has no issues in fact I actually think I’d hate it if I was to be with someone who didn’t have any because you know I always said that if I was going to get into a relationship, it would have to be with someone who either just A doesn’t have anxiety but understands my anxiety or B has anxiety themselves and understands it. Do you know how fucking lucky I count myself that I have you? You get me. You understand me. That’s what’s important to me. That’s the whole fucking reason I fell in love with you. And don’t start with the ‘what I deserve’ and ‘oh perfect this perfect that’. You wanna know what my idea of perfect is? You. All of you. That’s it. End of fucking story.” he announces, his tone firm and unrelenting, yet full of emotion. The tears continue to fall from both of our faces. “Babe, did you really think I got into relationship with you knowing about your past and the fact you’re still healing from all that shit expecting you not to talk to me when you need to oh what.. just because I have anxiety?” he softens his voice.
I gulp, unsure of what to respond with. Instead I opt for a little shrug of my shoulders. He shakes his head once more, pulling me into a hug and resting his head against my own. “I’m sorry.” I mumble against his chest.
“you have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry. I’m sorry you ever felt that way. I’m sorry you were out here in a fucking carpark at this time by yourself when you should have been in bed beside me talking to me and sound asleep at this stage.”
I sigh, exhausted by my own emotions.
“It’s not your fault Matt. It’s me I just.. I thought I was protecting you. You’re doing so well lately and I.. I didn’t want to fuck that up. I care about you more than I care about myself you know that and I-” I continue, but he cuts me off, his hand rubbing small circles on my back.
“Shh, shh, I know darlin, I know.” He exhales, pressing his lips to my forehead as he continues to comfort me. We sit there in silence, eyes closed as the melody of ‘What Was I Made For’ still circles in my brain, the rain continues to bounce against the car outside. “Promise me, from here on out, you’ll talk to me, no matter how I’m doing.” he whispers, lifting my chin up to meet his gaze. I nod, and he does the same back, before kissing me ever so softly on the lips.
“I love you, so fucking much Y/N.” He states, resting his forehead against mine.
warnings: fluff, mentions of alcohol, addiction, mental health issues etc, she/her pronouns.
summary: as per last anon request.
note: all of my work is completely fictional. i do not know the triplets personally and therefore all characteristics and mannerisms are not an realistic/accurate representation of them or their personalities in real life. i write for fun. i do not write smut or anything along those lines. there could potentially be mentions of topics that may trigger people, but they will be very vague and will not be in relation to the triplets. i also will not write anything including topics as such involving the triplets. enjoy!
A/N: as per anon request. not sure if this is what you wanted. inspired by the song ‘When The Party’s Over’ by my fave Billie Eilish. Hope you like it! (It’s utter garbage but hopefully it’ll be okay!)
Unspoken tension lingers in the cool dead of night air as I stumble carelessly into the dark and quiet residence of the triplets house again for what had felt like hundredth time this month, wobbling and clutching to the handrail of the stairs in their hallway every chance I get. I had been at yet another party and as per usual I had to call Matt to come pick me up as I was in too much of a state to make my own way home. He remains silent, refusing to even look at me as he closes the door behind us and re-locks it. A part of me is just as hurt as he is inside, but the other? The other is beyond thankful, as even in my inebriated state I was fully aware he was fed up, having had just about enough of my shitty coping mechanisms and drunk antics I was just relieved he still had had the courtesy to collect me. I knew in my core if his eyes were to meet my own at this moment in time, they’d be shooting me a cold, judgmental, angry, condescending and not to mention disappointed and heartbroken look, glaring into my very soul and cutting me like a sharp and deadly knife with every fibre of his being.
He lets out a heavy sigh as his gaze meets the floor, his feet slipping out of his crisp new Air Force’s in the process. I grasp the wooden railing and plop myself down on a step, closing my eyes and resting my head against the wall in uncomfortable anticipation. I knew his harsh words were coming, but I so desperately prayed in my subconscious they weren’t. I place a hand above my left breast as my heart races, the pattern of beats so irregular it leaves me feeling as though it’s about to explode out of my chest. A large portion of it merely had to do with my copious amount of alcohol consumption this frosty November night, the rest of it coming down to my instant waves of ironic sadness and regret. As I begin to sober myself, I feel my nose sting and my eyes well up with shame written all over my face. The line ‘oh poppy, you’ve really done it this time’ from that one movie ‘Wild Child’ plays on repeat in my head. Because just like Emma Robert’s character, I too had really done it this time.
“Before you say anything, I know it’s my fault.” I whisper, catching my tears with my tongue before my best friend even has the chance to part his lips and speak up. His face remains fixated on the floor as he moves around.
“Actually, I hadn’t planned on saying anything. I just wanted to get you to into bed so you could sleep and we could talk about it tomorrow.” He shakes his head as I bite my lip, my eyes flashed with vulnerability.
“Matt I’m so sorry, I really am I promise it won’t happen aga-“ I begin to announce gently, my voice cracking before I’m cut off and he interrupts me. His own eyes dash up to meet me and survey my whole body.
“Yeah you’re always sorry until the next night comes around and it does happen again. And who has to come rescue your drunk ass? Me. As per usual. It’s like you’re just doing it on purpose now. Just save it kid. I don’t wanna hear it.” He folds his arms and stands in front of me. I feel not only hurt but intimidated.
“Matt that’s not fair you know it’s not fully out of choice. I’m really struggling at the moment. How can you say that?” I cry out in return as I watch him move towards me. I try my best to remain calm and not wake Chris or Nick up in this moment but it becomes increasingly difficult between my emotions, my inability to hear myself and to tone my voice down given my intoxicated state. The tension continues to build between us as he replies.
“How can I say it?” He spits through a low whisper and gritted teeth. “I can say it because I’m your best friend and I’m beyond angry. It’s fucking killing me to see you this way and you know it. I can say it because I care. I always will. I just don’t know what to do with you anymore kid. I’m really at a loss here and if the cold hard truth doesn’t help you to stop I don’t know what will. I know you’re struggling, and I feel so helpless no matter what I do. You know if ever there was a shoulder you could cry on it’s mine. I’ve tried to get you to open up and talk to me. I’ve tried to get help for your mental health. I’ve tried everything and I’m not sure what more I can do. If I could take away all your pain and consume it on top of all my own shit so that you wouldn’t have to deal with this, I would. But I can’t do that y/n. No matter how much I want to. I’m not angry I had to come pick you up again. You know I’ll always come get you no matter how far away you are if you need me. I’m just.. fuck kid. I’m just fucked up of seeing you the way you are almost every night. You don’t have to reach for a bottle every time you feel this way. You’re not helping yourself. You’re hurting me too and it’s like you don’t even realise it or you do and you just don’t give a shit. I don’t want to see you have to get taken away from me for a bit but honestly I think if you keep going the way you’re going, there’s gonna be no other option.” He pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes as he pronounces the last part.
I lift my head up from its propped position against the wall and gulp harshly as my chest anxiously continues to rise and fall. I knew every word he had said was true, and I could understand his frustration. But the fact of the matter was I didn’t know how to help myself without some type of spirit in my system. I was in intense emotional pain and with each day it got worse, I always found myself reaching for one of the bottles he had been talking about. I had lied on every occasion this past month that it wasn’t becoming a problem and I was just enjoying myself. I told Matt and everyone else it was because I was young and just wanting the experience. But it was a facade I was falling to keep up with anymore. I knew it. And he knew it.
“I get it okay. I know it’s exhausting being friends with me lately. And I’m sorry Matt. I don’t know what more I can do than say it to you a million times over. But I don’t know what to do either. I don’t want to go to rehab or anything along those lines, please don’t say that. I want to get better my own way. But I know I’m a lost cause and a liability. Trust me, i’m fully aware of that. I know I’m no good for you? This friendship is draining you and I’m only hurting you because you let me. I’m not doing it intentionally but if it’s becoming too much maybe you know? You should just stop!” I raise my voice back. He furrows his brows in confusion and sighs.
“Stop what? What’s that supposed to mean?” He questions, scanning my face for any form of answer. My heart sinks as does his own.
“Stop being friends with me.” I sigh, my own words like a blade to my heart. I didn’t want that. I didn’t need it either. But I didn’t want him to suffer because of me either, and so if that’s what he needed then it was a sacrifice I was willing to make.
“Yeah no, stop talking out of your ass idiot. That’s not happening alright? Don’t be ridiculous. Not a solution to the problem kid and I would never fucking dream of doing it. What would that even achieve? I don’t want that. Look, You’ll get through this. We’ll get through this. Tomorrow is a new day. We can talk more then. Right now you need water and my bed. We’re not having any more of this conversation tonight.” He exclaims, ushering me up the stairs. I want to speak up again but the words don’t come out, so I instead just remove myself from my perched position and follow as he leads the way.
Upon arrival to the door of his bedroom, he motions for me to go in as he gathers a glass of h2o and painkillers from the kitchen. I swing the door open and turn on the light, before making my way to the edge of his bed. After a few minutes of silently contemplating and reflecting, Matt returns to the room and places the necessities on his desk, before closing the door behind him. I kick my shoes off and fumble with my hands as he approaches, stopping in front of me.
“Where’d you leave your makeup remover?” He enquires, tilting his head down as he looks at me. I refuse to speak up, on the verge of breaking down again. “y/n.” He hollers, snapping his fingers in front of me but still gaining no reaction. This prompts him to take action even further. He uses a finger to lift my chin, my eyes still adamantly hesitating to look at him.
“y/n look at me.” He exhales, his voice softening again. He was still hurt and angry for sure, but if there was one thing about Matt it was that his concerned and compassionate nature always outweighed any subornness or animosity between us. He knew deep down I was hurting. That was the underlying cause for all this. My actions weren’t just for no reason and I wasn’t doing it on purpose like he had suggested. And he had to keep reminding himself of that. I let my eyes slowly shift their focus onto him as I sit here, ashamed and embarrassed as his words play over and over in my mind. “Look, I’m sorry for being an asshole and for yelling at you. I’m just frustrated and disappointed. This really needs to stop and you know it. And as much I would love to cuss you out right now and drive your stupid ass to fucking AA meeting, I know you’re upset and exhausted. So can you please just tell me where your shit is so I can take your makeup off and we can get some sleep?” He asks, as his thumb gently caresses my cheek. I nod after a few seconds in response, pointing over toward his wardrobe.
“Top left.” I say, as he shuffles to where I’ve told him. He swiftly moves over to retrieve some cotton pads and a bottle of micellar water and walks back toward me. Squeezing the bottle so that some of the liquid falls out onto the soft material, he places it to my cheek. I flinch on his touch, the coldness of it gaining him a withdrawing reaction. “Sorry.” He mumbles, as I bring my cheek back to him and he regains his position to continue.
“It’s fine it’s just a little cold.” I croak. I watch silently as he proceeds to wipe.
“Close.” He requests, moving closer to my eyes. I do as I’m told and I feel another single tear shed from my eye in the process. My disappointment in myself leaves a lump in my coarse throat. “Stop crying, please.” He entreats.
“I’m trying to.” I whisper, only getting more worked up at his plea. He takes a few more silent minutes to fully remove the cosmetics from my skin before placing my products back in his drawer. While I set about taking off the clothes I had been wearing, Matt recovers a baggy tshirt and a pair of pyjama bottoms for me to wear to bed. I didn’t mind him watching me undress despite us only being friends. We were both single, and comfortable around each other. And believe me when I say, it wasn’t the first time. In fact, many a nights I had gotten myself into a similar if not worse situation, I lacked the capacity to change my clothes myself, leaving it up to him to help me.
“Do you want me to turn around or leave the room?” He inquires, still being as respectful as ever.
“No it’s all good. Fairly sure you’ve seen me fully naked me before anyways so seeing me in my underwear isn’t an issue. Besides, I’ve more to worry about than that.” I attempt to make a joke, though I’m still miserable.
“True but also not the point. I still like to ask just in case.” He states, looking on as I push my cargo’s down past one of my knees.
“Fair, thank you. I appreciate it.” I sniffle. Once I have the pyjama pants on that he had set down beside me on, I start to take off my top. As I do so, my lack of attire on my upper half reveals a large cut under my arm just below my rib cage. I don’t take notice of it, but Matt does.
“Fuck y/n you’re bleeding!” He exclaims, quickly turning toward me and bending down on he’s knees in front of me.
“It’s fine it’s nothing. It doesn’t hurt.” I lie, knowing full well it did but I hadn’t paid much attention to it until now, given the fact I was sobered up. Without hesitation, he groans and removes his own tshirt he had been wearing, flicking his eyes up to me and shooting me a stern and deadpan look.
“It’s not nothing. You’re injured.” He sighs, his muscles flexing slightly as he dabs gently. I wince at his touch, gritting my teeth as he presses down with the garment. The bleeding stops quickly and he reaches behind him on his heels to grab my handbag, knowing I always kept plasters in it. He pries open the largest bandaid he could get his hands on, and places it over the gash. “Do you even remember how it happened?” He investigates.
“No.” I lie again, the reality being that it had happened before I got drunk and I knew exactly what had caused it. A guy hitting on me had tried to cop a feel and grope me, and as I had swatted his hand away and left his company, his finger nail had dug into me and scratched me. Of course my friends were nowhere to be seen during this incident, and when I found them again, it all escalated from there. Before I knew it, they were convincing me to let go of what had happened with more tequila shots. And I knew if I had told the truth, Matt would have been more stressed out and frustrated. So I decided on keeping quiet, preferring him calmer now to pissed off.
He silently shakes his head a final time before standing up and placing his t-shirt in his wash basket. After I put his top on, he waits for me to get under the covers before turning off the light and getting into bed himself. The room is filled with quiet as we both lay in the dark. I knew we weren’t exactly on terrible terms in this moment, but there was still a lot of tension and angst and I hated it. Matt turns on his side as I lie straight on my back.
“Goodnight y/n.” He murmurs, his voice bouncing off the walls and echoing in his very lacklustre furniture filled room. I stay hushed, not wanting to say the words back. “Y/N!” He calls out, unsure as to whether I had heard him the first time or not.
“hmm?” I respond shakily.
“I said goodnight?” He voices, sitting up on his elbow and turning his body slightly to face me though he couldn’t see me.
“I can’t afford to lose you Matt.” I declare through a cry. He huffs heavily before moving closer toward me and placing a hand on my arm furthest to him, pulling me in.
“Yeah well I can’t afford to lose you either y/n.” His voice breaks as he whispers back. My heart shatters even further as I realise exactly what he meant by that; the weight of his words causing me to scrunch my face and silently scream through sobs into the plush pillow. My mental pain was exhausting not only myself but the people around me that loved and cared about me most, especially Matt. And he knew I was spiralling out of control, and he was afraid of losing me, not just from his life but from this earth.
Hearing me break down again and my now relentless cries, Matt lets go of all the frustration and stubbornness he had been holding onto to turn grasp me in his hold. I clutch the duvet tight to my chest and as I do so, I feel him squeeze me tighter in to his embrace. My fingers reluctantly release from the fabric and are quickly replaced by his own, intertwining as he nestles his head on top of my own, his lips pressed to my hair underneath him.
“I’m scared Matt. I don’t wanna be left on my own. I just want this all to stop.” I admit through choked whimpers.
“Shh gorgeous, you’ll never be left on your own as long as you have me okay? I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. I’m always going to be here. I love you, so much. A little too much if you ask me.” He mumbles softly against my body followed by a little amused chortle. His eyes close as his warm breath releases out onto my skin. Confusion washes over me, as my tired and puffy eyes peel open in surprise at his terms of endearment. I pause momentarily, my brain trying to scramble his words as though I’m still drunk and I’ve misinterpreted them or as though they’re some sort of complex anagram. Though Matt and I were very close, we had never used those three words to each other.
“What?” I ask perplexed in a soft tone, wiping my eyes. He looks down at me as I peer up him.
“What?” He responds back, a small smile forming on the corner of his lips in the pitch black.
“You.. but we’re.. friends?” I question.
“We’re best friends actually. But yeah.” He chuckles awkwardly.
“So you actually meant it that way? As like.. more?” I interrogate.
“Mhmm.” He whispers, planting a kiss delicately on my forehead.
“Oh. I don’t know what to say..” I confess.
“That’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. Just close your eyes and get some rest. You’re safe now. I’ll be here when you wake up alright?” He whispers, as I cuddle into his warm chest. I nod, the room going still again. I hear him yawn before saying goodnight again. I respond instantly this time.
“Goodnight Matt. Thank you, for everything. I love you too.” I breathe out. He doesn’t respond vocally, rather leaning down to gently press his lips to my own with a short but comforting kiss. I smile briefly, before closing my eyes and attempting to sleep.
warnings: fluff, depicts ill mental health, mentions of adhd, seasonal depression etc.
summary: soft boyfriend Matt reassures gf reader. inspired by that one TikTok Matt reposted and one of my favourite LC songs.
note: all of my work is completely fictional. i do not know the triplets personally and therefore all characteristics and mannerisms are not a realistic/accurate representation of them or their personalities in real life. i write for fun. there could potentially be mentions of topics that may trigger people, but they will be very vague and will not be in relation to the triplets. i also will not write anything including topics as such involving the triplets. please do not steal any of my work and post it elsewhere. I work hard on what I write. enjoy!
a/n: your fave depressed b!tch is back again. sobbing. i love bf Matt so much.
Recommended listening: Love The Hell Out Of You by Lewis Capaldi.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
I sit on the edge of the bed, staring off into space and slightly disassociating as Matt sits with a knee up on the mattress behind me, gently combing my hair that he had somehow managed to help me wash and dry. It was nights like tonight that made me more thankful than ever to have him as a boyfriend. He knew I had been having a rough week with the start of the cold winter mornings and nights drawing in. Matthew and I knew each and every one of each other’s trauma’s. Our shared struggles with our mental health was exactly one of the main reasons we bonded so well, and with the seasonal depression period quickly approaching and looming over us, it was of the utmost importance that we loved and cared for each other as best we could especially during this time. I had been feeling nothing but numbness this dark November evening, and I had never been more grateful that it was the weekend so I could just chill out and relax. But my energy was completely depleted, and my bones were frozen from the inside out. So doing even the simplest of tasks in order for me to get to that relaxed and zen state without worry was proving utterly difficult.
My eyes become heavy with both mental and physical exhaustion, and I feel them start to close as each bristle of the hairbrush he was using scratches my scalp soothingly. There was just something about his touch, even in the most non sexual way, that calmed me endlessly and sent tingles down my spine. He always knew how to be so careful and gentle with me, particularly at the worst of times. He never judged me for anything. His ability to understand that some days I lacked the capability to a functioning human being and member of society was second to none. He knew if I needed some alone time he would give me just that, but he also knew that if I just needed some quiet whilst remaining in his company and being reassured by just his mere presence being there, he would be more than willing to provide it. Matt adored feeling needed and taking care of me, reciprocating without hesitation in the same way I had always done for him. It was his time, his patience, his attention, his understanding and his affection, that I prayed every person would one day find in a partner. He was genuinely to pure and soft hearted for this world, and knowing how lucky I was to have him and call him my own, I always made sure he felt credited and appreciated for it. I never truly felt like I deserved him, especially given the fact the fans had always made a point of telling me. But Matt always reminded me that it was his choice to be with me, and he constantly without failure assured me that I was more than deserving of his love and everything else he gave me.
As he stops brushing and swoops my hair over my shoulder, I feel him drop the plastic tool to the duvet and he begins to lightly massage and caress my body. His hands delicately grasp either side of my arms and work their way up towards my joints and neck, his thumbs nestling themselves into my skin. The moment he does this, I feel myself let go of all the negative tension I had been carrying throughout the day and tears start to spill down my cheeks from my waterline. I remain quiet as does Matt until I sniffle a tiny bit, bringing the side of my index finger up to wipe under my eyes.
“Hey! Hey?” He whispers, his own body slightly tilting forward as he attempts to meet my gaze. “Baby, look at me.” He requests, his own grip now holding my chin and bringing my stare to meet him. I oblige, but remain fixated on my hands, my eyes refusing to look at him. “Y/N please look at me okay? I’m here.” He encourages me, a sad and disappointed expression forming on his face. As I peel open my eyelids and slowly come up to aquatint him, he gives me a small empathetic half smile. “Talk to me.” He voices, pleading with me to communicate with him.
“I’m sorry I’m so difficult to be with. I feel so awful for you having to put up with me, especially with my adhd and when I’m in this state. I feel so useless. I can’t even take care of myself properly.” I cry out referring to my hygiene and my disheveled and lazy state. This cause him to shake his head a bit.
“Kid, you don’t always need to be able to take care of yourself. No one expects that of you especially not me. I know you love your independence and self sufficiency and you hate relying on people and all, but darlin that’s what I’m here for you. It’s okay to let someone help you. It’s actually my duty to help care for you the same way you do for me when I’m in a bad way. I’d be a fairly shitty boyfriend if I didn’t.” He widens his smile a small amount.
“I just feel like a bad girlfriend. Maybe I just shouldn’t be in a relationship. You deserve better.” I announce, my nose stinging a little. Matt scans my face as he takes my hands in his own.
“Why would you say that? What makes you think you shouldn’t be in a relationship? You’re human y/n. And I promise you I wouldn’t be able to find better even if I tried.” He defends.
“I don’t know I’m just don’t think I’m stable enough to be in one. I’m not fully healed from everything that happened in the past.” I admit shyly, as his thumb circles around the back of my hand.
“And what makes you think any of us are ever fully stable enough to be in one either? I can guaretee you none of us ever even if it’s our first relationship our hundredth one. But I love you and I want to be with you fully stable or not. And no, maybe you aren’t fully healed yet. But someday you will be. And if you feel like the only way you’re going to be there is by taking the time you need by yourself then that’s completely valid and understandable. Even though it would kill me inside to let you go I would respect your decision and let you be. But baby, you don’t have to do it alone if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to. When I first met you, before we got together, I made a promise to you and myself that if you ever gave me a chance at being something more than friends, that you and I would help you heal that precious heart of yours together. I wasn’t ready for a relationship and neither were you but these things just happen. I know my love may not ever be enough but I’m willing to give you all I’ve got. Every part of me to get you through if it’s the last thing I do. None of us are easy to be with. Believe me, I put you through enough my mood swings and overthinking myself. But you’re committed to me, I hope. And I’m committed to you.” He articulates assuredly. I smile, his words being just what I needed in this moment, and it warms his heart.
“You sound like you’re giving a wedding speech.” I joke through a sheepish mumble, my face hiding a little as I smirk, knowing he was going to give me an infamous eye roll and/or sigh.
“You’re ridiculous.” He hisses, shaking his head and grinning. He lets go of my hands and brings his fingers up to meet my face again, tucking a few strands of hair back behind my ear. “But, you’re so beautiful, and I love the hell out of you.”
“I love you too Matt. I do. And thank you, so much. Im so lucky to have you ou know that right?” I question, as he motions for me to turn back around so that he can continue gently rubbing my shoulders.
“Mhmm. I know. I’m so lucky to have you too.” He whispers, softly placing his lips on my skin and ornately peppering my neck. I close my eyes again and I fall into his touch. If there was one thing about him, he always knew how to ground me and bring me back to earth, the same way I had always tried to when the fame and everything just became a little too much. We felt comfortable and safe with each other, and I prayed to god nothing would ever take him away from me nor me from him. “What’s that show you used to watch with the mother and daughter? You know the one with the toothbrush that sent our fans into a meltdown over some sick TikTok joke?” He inquires much to my confusion and I furrow my brows with a questioning look he’s unable to see.
“Ginny and Georgia?” I ask hesitantly, blushing that I know exactly what he’s referring to and the answer that’s just parted my lips.
“Yup. That one.” He confirms, his hands reaching up inside my t-shirt and tracing mindless, unintelligible squiggles into my back.
“oh yeah, what about it?” I hum.
“Well, I actually saw a clip of it on Instagram. Don’t ask how I stumbled to that side of the app and down that rabbit hole. To cut a long story short I basically saw it on some motivational quote page. But it was that scene where the mom is like, talking about how she took all the darkness and the pain and she consumed it for the sake of her daughter.”
I shuffle out of his grasp and turn to meet him again. “wait I’m confused. what has that got to do with us Matt?” I interrogate.
“I can’t take away all or consume your pain y/n, if I could trust me without a shadow of a doubt I would. I’d do it in a heartbeat. But unfortunately can’t. That being said, it won’t ever stop me from trying to help you get rid of it as much as I possibly can. You help with these monsters of mine. I don’t want you to ever feel guilty for me doing the same. Okay?” He expresses.
“I’d be lost without you.” I cry, salty wet liquid pouring down my flushed face as I drape my arms around his neck and climb onto his lap.
“I’d be lost without you too gorgeous.” He smiles, as he wraps his own hands around my torso. I stroke a hand through his hair, gently intertwining it with my fingers as I reach down to meet his pouted lips with my own. As we break apart from our intimate gesture, he breathlessly speaks up again. “Speaking of wedding speeches by the way, is it too early to start working on it actually or?..” he trails off in a hushed tone with the most genuine smile I’ve ever seen on his face.
“what?” I ask, my eyes lighting up at his words.
“you heard me.” he exclaims as I giggle. He knew full well the mention of us getting married and having a wedding made me so happy, because even if we’re young and it was inevitably too soon, we were all each other were going to want for the rest of our lives, in sickness and in health…
warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT AND MORE SMUT read at your own discretion, swearing, unprotected sex.
summary: Matt gets jealous of Chris, makes his move first and fucks the reader in the warehouse, simple as.
note: all of my work is completely fictional. i do not know the triplets personally and therefore all characteristics and mannerisms are not a realistic/accurate representation of them or their personalities in real life. i write for fun. there could potentially be mentions of topics that may trigger people, but they will be very vague and will not be in relation to the triplets. i also will not write anything including topics as such involving the triplets. please do not steal any of my work and post it elsewhere. I work hard on what I write. enjoy!
a/n: yall don’t know how much I fucking need this man. I NEED HIM. Matt if you read this boy you betta get to my house asap I ain’t playin no mo. also practice safe sex guys please am begging yall don’t want no kids yet. unless Matt Sturniolo is the baby daddy and is providing them!!!! IM KIDDING calm the fuck down holy jesus (she was not in fact kidding)
Recommended listening: JUST WANNA ROCK BODY-ODY-YA by Lil Uzi Vert.
A set of annoyed and hungry eyes peer into my soul, eyeing each and every inch of my trembling body up and down as I lean uncomfortably against the desk behind me, my ass resting on top of it ever so slightly as I fold my arms and stare back. I anxiously await the man in front of me at the opposite side of the room to break the silence but he doesn’t, instead he just clenches his jaws and sucks at the insides of his cheeks. It had been exactly twenty minutes since Matt and I had arrived at the warehouse alone this night and exactly twenty minutes since he had found out about the texts that were exchanged between his brother and I, Chris confidently admitting his feelings and thoughts on hooking up with me. It was a conversation that was completely unexpected and heated conversation at that, yet it was nevertheless one that was had. But now in this moment I found myself in even a more awkward and tension filled situation. I swallow as he exhales loudly, both of us immediately pondering on what his next move was going to be.
I divert my attention away and my eyes fall to the ground that separates us, my gaze watching his trainers as my heart races. A part of me always knew that Matt liked me though we’d never spoke on it, and Chris never giving any obvious indication he did also is what made his confession more surprising. Matt’s frustration to the situation was inevitable and came at no surprise however, though I had never anticipated him to find out. It was my own idiotic fault for letting him use my phone to call his sibling after his own had died and we realised we had no charger. And though I knew he wasn’t angry or annoyed at me but at his brother, alas I knew there was nothing I could do to turn back the clocks in this given moment.
I let out a huff, praying to any form of God that he would speak up. Instead, in my near peripheral vision, I see him run a hand through his hair before reaching it to the side and grasping the cold metal railing acting as a barrier between the ground and top floor, the latter being the one we were currently situated on. The veins in his arms become ever so prominent as he clutches to it, his tongue running along his bottom lip.
“Matt, can you say something please?” I let out a soft mumble, sighing again in the process. “It’s not his fault for telling me. And I’m sorry, I didn’t know but you can clearly see I didn’t respond back to him in that way. I just acknowledged what he said and told him I didn’t reciprocate the sentiment or his intentions.” I hold my hand out, supporting my statement as I offer him reassurance.
Matt pinches the bridge of his nose ever so slightly and lets go of his grip, shrugging his shoulders in defeat as he now makes his way towards me. He stops a short distance away from me, my eyes coming up to meet him again and focusing on his stone cold expression. He gulps as he watches down on me, not sure about what’s he’s going to do or say next.
“So say it y/n. Right here, right now. To me. I wanna hear the words come out of your mouth. I wanna hear you say it.” He scans my face, his breath heavy as it increases to match my own. I offer him a confused look, scrunching my nose as I furrow my eyebrows.
“Say what Matt?” I question him.
“That you don’t have feelings for him and you don’t wanna fuck him.” He states, in a loud and firm tone.
“Fine. I don’t have feelings for him and I don’t wanna fuck him. There, you happy now?” I ask, shaking my head and looking away, slightly regretting my attitude as I know how Matt can be. His gently lets his tattooed arm come up to meet my chin, a thumb and index finger supporting his touch as he pulls my vision back to meet him.
“Look me in the eyes and say it.” He demands sternly and intimidatingly as I blink rapidly at him. His voice sends shivers down my spine. He takes a step closer toward me closing the distance between us as his legs meet my knees. I straighten up a little, my ass now near fully sitting on the wooden top of the table behind me. His demeanour making me even more nervous causing my cheeks to heat up and flush a light shade of red.
“I don’t.. I don’t have a feelings for him and I don’t wanna fuck him.” I repeat, the smell of his cologne intoxicating me. Matt remains poker faced, knowing full well what he’s doing.
“Prove it.” He pronounces, his voice laced with smugness and filthy intention’s. A minuscule yet devilish smirk forms on the corners of his mouth, his legs pressing slightly against my thighs to pry them apart. My chest rises and falls like crazy, my heart rate increasing my the second. Without a second thought, I impulsively sit up on the desk and let my legs fall wide, his body invading the space between them. I reach a hand up behind his neck and draw him in, the other resting against his chest. His own hands grasp at the side of my thighs to pull me into him, luring me to his lips. We crash together roughly, practically clawing at each other as our tongues meet. I needed him. And he needed me. Badly. I let out a soft moan in between kisses as his fingers rub against my pussy, the tips caressing my folds through the fabric of my pyjama pants.
“I wanna fuck you.. right here.” He lets out through a breathless whisper.
“Mmm do it then.” I moan quietly, a playful smile etched on my face as his forehead rests against my own.
“Are you sure?” He quizzes, making sure he had my consent, especially given the circumstances.
“Absolutely.” I reply, as our lips collide together to meet again.
Matt continues to tease with a finger along my waistband, before breaking away and tugging at my pants.
“Take these off.” He ushers, and I nod back, following his instructions. I scoot my bottoms and thong from underneath me, and I watch as he bends down to pull them off of me, carefully grasping each of my calves and removing them fully from my feet as he throws them to the ground. There was something so hot about seeing this man down on his knees, and I wanted nothing more for his mouth to meet my pussy and eat me out, but I knew how much he desperately wanted to slide his dick into me and fuck me, so that had to wait for another time. Before coming back to me, I fondle my folds a little and brush a thumb against my bottom lip, knowing it would drive him crazy. And it does. As soon as he gets closer to me again, I jerk at his own sweatpants, his dick print visible through the grey. He lets his fingers peel both them and his boxers down to his knees, his hard and erect dick springing free. I wrap my palm around it, my finger feeling his wet precum tip. I start to motion my hold up and down his length, stopped promptly as he clasps my wrist and gently hauls it away back toward me, shaking his head as he does so.
“Nn-nn. Nope. Sorry darlin, but I’ve waited for this moment for so long with you that if I know if I let you do that, you’ll make me cum straight away.” He smirks, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue in a mischievous manner.
“Better get to fucking me so.” I tease, his fingers pawing at my hole and circling around my clit, subsequently earning him loud, elongated moan and a quiet ‘fuck’ that escapes my lips. I close my eyes and my hands fall back behind me, supporting me through the wave of pleasure washing over me in this moment. Matt waists no time and slams three fingers into, blasting my pussy out of it.
“Fuck you’re so wet.” He murmurs. I do my best to attempt a nod, words incapable of leaving my mouth. “Does that feel good baby?” He asks, knowing full well it does.
“Mhmm yea..” I breathe out, his fingers curling inside me and hitting my g-spot.
“Yeah? Good girl, you like that?” He quizzes. This man was going to be the death of me, and if my endless panting and moaning wasn’t enough to let him know how fucking good he was making me feel, I wasn’t sure what was.
“Ah, ah, ahhh, oh my g-fuck Matt.” I yell out, his fingers picking up their pace, making me clench around him and squirt out. A sheer look of pride and amusement grows across his face, as my juices fall out onto his fingers, the table underneath drenched as can be. He carefully pulls his fingers out, and brings them up to meet his lips as he sucks on them. “That’s my girl.” He chuckles slightly, palming himself in preparation for what was to come, or for himself to cum to be precise.
I pry open my eyes and watch as he holds the back of my head, his gaze not leaving my own. “Try keep your eyes open for this baby.” He vocalises, before spitting into his free hand and touching himself one more time. He looks down momentarily as he slides his dick into me, that first time putting it in hitting like no other. Pleasure washes over both of us, bodies syncing in reaction in this moment. As we melt into each other, Matt strokes gently in and out of me at a slow and steady pace, both of us letting a ‘shit’ escape. The eye contact never fizzles out, even when his lips continuously ram into my own and our tongues explore each other.
“Matt go faster.” I plead after a minute or two. He gives in, his dick pounding in and out of me as he grips at my hips. I roll my eyes and tilt my chin back, but he grips slightly on my hair. His lips pepper kisses onto my collar bone before coming up to my neck and sucking on it. My arms which are wrapped around his shoulders and neck, separate as I claw at his back with my nails. I knew he was going to leave his mark on me, it was Matt after all and when he claimed something he wanted everyone to know about it, so I had to leave mine.
“Fuck y/n. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, mmhm, your pussy feels so good.” He moans, his voice bouncing off the walls and echoing around the warehouse.
“Ay, dios mío, fuck your dick feels so good.” I cry out.
As he continues to storm into me, I feel myself about to orgasm again, his cock hitting just the right spot.
“Uhh-huhhh, Matt I’m.. I’m gonna cum.” I whimper.
“Me too gorgeous. Squirt all over my dick and I promise I’ll fill you up inside. You want that baby?” He groans, nearly reaching his climax also. I nod, but it’s not enough for him. “Say yes or no baby.” He prompts me.
“Yesss Matt, fill me u- I, oh my god. Ahh, ahh fuck. Keep going, just like that.” I encourage him, as he rails me so fucking hard. Within an instant, ripples of pleasure shock my body, my hands falling back behind me. I drip out onto his dick as he comes to his high.
“Holy fuck, y/n.” He moans out, his thick white cum exploding inside of my pussy, hitting my walls and filling me up. He falls slightly out of breath in toward me, his hands still on my hips and his eyes closing as he rests his forehead against my own. He stays silent, both of our hearts racing and breathing hitched as we come down. We stay like this for a few minutes, just taking in each other and everything that’s just happened. I smile as he opens his eyes and looks at me. He plants a soft kiss to my skin and I cup his flushed cheek.
“You good?” I inquire.
“Never better.” He smiles back through a heavy breath. He pulls himself up straight and wraps his arms around my shoulders, embracing me into him. My eyes wander across his face, as he brushes a few sticky hairs out of my face that had been glued with sweat.
“Though I’m mad at Chris for knowing I like you and I hate the idea of him not only wanting to fuck you but telling you he wants to, I can’t blame the kid for liking you too. You’re beautiful you know that right?” He asks.
“Matt shhh stop..” I trail off.
“No you are. So unbelievably fucking beautiful.” He admires me. My smile never falters as the words depart his mouth. His lips delicately come back and press against my own. “Come on, you go to the bathroom and let me get what I have to get from here and we can go home. You’re sleeping with me tonight.” He announces. I nod, as he moves away and pulls up his pants.
“Oh and by the way, not that there’s not any competition anymore but trust me..” He exclaims picking up my phone beside my thigh and pointing toward the screen referring to the messages from Chris, “this ain’t want you want.”
“Someone’s confident.” I joke, rolling my eyes and smiling as he picks my lower half clothing up off the ground and throws them at me playfully.
“That’s how it is, is it? Well little miss ‘I don’t having feelings for him and I don’t wanna fuck him’, I can tell you now I know for a fact he can’t fuck you and make you feel as good as I just did. But by all means pick your side, but just know you better choose wisely.” He utters back.
“Are you really quoting both me and Lil Uzi in the same sentence right now? You’re ridiculous,” I chuckle. “But anyways, don’t worry Matty, I’m a woman with no doubts. And I already have picked my side, I wouldn’t have let you hit if I hadn’t. Believe me.”
warnings: none other than reader is also queer I don’t think.
summary: in which the reader is comforted by Nick after a heartbreak.
note: all of my work is completely fictional. i do not know the triplets personally and therefore all characteristics and mannerisms are not a realistic/accurate representation of them or their personalities in real life. i write for fun. there could potentially be mentions of topics that may trigger people, but they will be very vague and will not be in relation to the triplets. i also will not write anything including topics as such involving the triplets. please do not steal any of my work and post it elsewhere. I work hard on what I write. enjoy!
a/n: omg she finally posted something for Nick yayyy! V short but I’m gonna make a part 2 and a whole lot more for my best man. Recommended listening ‘Chiquitita’ by Abba.
‘you’ll be dancing once again, and the pain will end, sing a new song Chiquitita’
11pm. Sunday night. My heart races and my stomach drops a little as I hear the front door of my apartment opening, a set of key’s with multiple keyrings chiming as they dangle from their position in the lock. I roll over to face the wall away from my bedroom door, clutching my duvet slightly tighter to my chest as my best friend lets himself into my house. Instead of calling out my name like he usually does to let me know he’s arrived and in the presence of my home, Nick stays quiet, knowing from my texts I was down in the dumps again and I was currently trying to rest. Tonight wasn’t one of our scheduled sleepover dates as Sunday’s are typically one of Nick’s editing and upload days, however I was in both a really miserable state and vulnerable position as my mental health was once again at an all time low, and despite my protests he had refused to let me suffer on my own, instead informing me he would be over as quick as possible to hang out and talk. So here he was, in my humble abode re-locking the door as he creeps closer to my room, his footsteps creaking the floorboards with every step he took.
Instead of turning on the light in hallway, Nick respectfully uses the flashlight of his phone to illuminate his path in the darkness of my residence, out of consideration for the fact I may potentially be asleep. But I’m not. Instead I’m laying in the pitch black dead of night, currently in the midst of letting salty tears fall slowly yet freely from my eyes, down along my cheeks and onto the corners of my lips as I catch them with my tongue and sniffle. I hadn’t given him any context as to why I was so upset, but Nick knew me better than I knew myself at times and he was very much aware of the relationship I had been in for the past few months, so I figured he knew it was something to do with that. He had been around for one too many of my heart breaks to not have gained some knowledge that when I shut myself away like this, a failed connection was usual the answer as to why.Once he reaches the entrance of my room, he quietly peaks his head in, whispering my name to check if I’m awake. I do my best to answer him but the words don’t come out. Instead, I cry some more and almost choke a little on the liquid spilling from my eyes. Hearing the noises coming from the blubbering mess I had currently sounded like, this prompts Nick to immediately take action.
“y/n it’s me, I’m here.” he lets out, flicking on the light switch and dropping his belongings down. He makes his way over to my curled up position on the bed. I turn to face him, my cheeks flushed pink and my eyes puffy. My hair was a mess and if you looked close enough I was sure I resembled a drenched sewer rat, strands sticking to my heated skin as mascara stained my under eyes. I don’t say a word as we make eye contact and scan each other, his little pout and head tilt knowing I was hurting causing tears to form in his own eyes. He stretches out his arms to embrace me, and as it swiftly sit up, I find myself engulfed in the biggest bear hug I was sure I’d ever been in.
“shhh, it’s okay, I’m here, tell me what’s wrong bestie.” He mumbles softly into my shoulder.
“she dumped me.” I croak out, continuing to weep in the process.
“oh miss girl, I’m so sorry.” he utters, his voice laced with empathy as he reaches a hand to the back of my head and draws me in closer. I was sure Nick had never seen me so heartbroken before, but hurting from LGBTQ+ and for me, women loving women relationships, hit so much harder than an heterosexual relationship ever could, no matter what age. And Nick understood this. I was always so sure of myself, never really caring when a partner both male and female and I broke it off, but this time was without a doubt different.
“She didn’t give me any explanation as to why. She said it wasn’t my fault but I feel like it was though I don’t know what I did wrong.” I sob loudly. My words urge Nick to pull away from his hold on me, his face coming to meet my own. He wipes a tear falling from under my eye and picks at a few glued stray hairs to bring them out of my face.
“You, did nothing wrong. Nothing at all babe. If she said it wasn’t your fault, then it wasn’t. But you know I dont hold back on these things, so as horrible as it is to say, she maybe just lost interest and wasn’t feeling it anymore. She can’t be blamed for that. It didn’t work this time around, but maybe the next one will. And that’s something to look forward to. You and I both know how the heartaches come and they go, but the pain doesn’t last forever. It will end and you’ll be back to your silly old little happy and easy going self again soon. I hate seeing you like this I really do. So I’m gonna need you to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and know your worth, because you my dear, are a catch. Anyone would be lucky to be with you. And I, am your best friend, as much as I’m a shoulder to cry on, need you to hop into the shower while I make us some food and we’re gonna have a girly movie night. You can choose what we watch, just no sad movies though okay?” He smiles at me, and I attempt a small frail smile back accompanied by a nod.
“okay.” I respond, quiet as a mouse.
“we’re gonna get through this girly, we’ll patch it up together.” He reassures me that his company was not just for tonight, but I’d have him by my side looking out for me for the foreseeable future. I chuckle as he does the same, carrying out his very best to make me feel better. “Any good movie suggestions?” He questions, taking his corduroy jacket off.
“how about Mamma Mia? Even though we’ve seen it a million times already.” I ask, sniffling once again into a tissue he had handed me from the box beside my best.
“Now see this is why we’re best friends. You know I will never ever in my life say no to a bit of Fernando by Cher and Meryl Streep.”
summary: in which the reader and Chris carry out an old Christmas Eve tradition.
note: all of my work is completely fictional. i do not know the triplets personally and therefore all characteristics and mannerisms are not a realistic/accurate representation of them or their personalities in real life. i write for fun. there could potentially be mentions of topics that may trigger people, but they will be very vague and will not be in relation to the triplets. i also will not write anything including topics as such involving the triplets. please do not steal any of my work and post it elsewhere. I work hard on what I write. enjoy!
a/n: it’s giving TFIOS lonely swing set vibes but anywhooo happy early Christmas Chris girls I hope yall devour this cringey ass lil post okie bye.
Not inspired but also somewhat by the song ‘Snowflake’ by Sia. Listen to it and pay attention to the lyrics and I promise you’ll find this even cuter. If you get it you get it, it you don’t you don’t.
‘Snowflake, don’t forget about us’
Picture this. It’s Christmas Eve circa 2017. Little old me is fifteen years old. And Chris Sturniolo, my childhood companion being just a year shy of me, is fourteen. My dad has left when I’m small and my mom, the person I considered my soulmate, has just passed the year previous, meaning Julie, my ever so fabulously single and happy aunt, has just gained full custody of me and has become what one would now call my legal guardian. Julie is a family friend of Jimmy, Chris’ father, which is how I know the him and his brothers. Since we only live a few houses away in my now hometown of Somerville in Boston, it’s Christmas Eve tradition that we go over to their house for the evening and meet again later on in the afternoon Christmas Day. Now continue to imagine this. It’s 2am at night and I’m all tucked up in bed this very cold December night and the new phone I’d just got for my birthday a few months earlier in the year is lit up with none other than Chris’ name spread across the screen. I squint my tiny eyes at the message he’s sent me and smile as he informs me it’s finally snowing. I acknowledge his text and say goodnight but my phone buzzes and shines again. Chris proceeds to spam my phone completely begging me to sneak outside and meet him in their backyard treehouse and I politely decline because I don’t want to get in trouble but despite my protests Chris is adamant, and naive little me having an ever so slight crush on him, I give in.
I’ll spare you the rest of the details of how I managed to sneak out. Just know Julie was a very heavy sleeper, especially having had a few glasses of wine in. I creep across the street with layers of clothes on to meet a cheeky smiling Chris waiting at the wall around the corner from his front door. We proceed to spend the next hour sitting with our small legs dangling from the tree house door, watching the snow fall and hiding every so often when we think we see a light on or a shadow of someone coming. It’s freezing cold, but Chris being ever so gentlemanly, gives me a blanket he’d brought from inside and warms my hands with his breath as we giggle away. He awkwardly tries to plant a kiss on my cheek when I’m not looking but I turn my head and his lips meet my own. He stole not only a peck that night but the short cut brown haired boy with blue eyes somehow managed to steal my heart. I promised myself i’d never forget that Christmas Eve for as long as I lived and I hadn’t. And I liked to think Chris, despite his new life in LA surrounded by new people as the years went by, hadn’t either.
Fast forward to present day. It’s December 2023. Julie and I arrive outside her house from Logan Airport and as we exit her car immersed in conversation, she opens her trunk and I begin to haul my luggage out of it. Just as I get the last bag out, I hear a whistle come from across the street. Lo and behold four familiar faces beam toward me, most notably the one who had whistled at me and kissed me in his treehouse covered in white, fluffy snow all those years ago.
“Ah, look who it is,” none other than Chris Sturniolo himself hollers across, nudging his brother Matt in the side with his elbow. Julie and I both turn to look, a mischievous and knowing smirk forming across her face as she glances between him and myself. I fold my arms and shake my head with a small, flushed smile as I walk toward the footpath closest to their side of the road, Chris proceeding to advance in my direction. To put it simply, I hadn’t been back in Massachusetts in a long time, my work life taking over in my new home of New York. And because of that I hadn’t seen Chris or the Sturniolo family in what had felt like an eternity.
“Ah ‘Mister Famous’ remembers me.” I tease with a shy laugh, as all three triplets approach me.
“What can I say? ‘Little Miss Brooklyn Lawyer’ is hard to forget.” He flirts, gaining him an eye roll and a gagging noise from Matt and Nick respectively from behind. I offer a slightly embarrassed chuckle as they inch closer.
“Tell me boys, is that his go-to line he tells all his newfound LA girls or am I just special?” I ask his brothers now standing either side of him, a smug look on my face. Nick purses his lips and puffs his cheeks with air in surprise at my comment, doing his best not to let the outburst of laughter he feels coming on fall from my his mouth. Matt follows suit as I hit back at his sibling, scoffing ever so slightly in the process. Chris inhales a deep breath, his shoulders and chest rising as he tries to compose himself and stop his cheeks from flushing a deep shade of red.
“Nice to see you haven’t lost your inner comedian y/n.” He taunts, his head somewhat as he mimics me by crossing his arms, trying to look collected and dominant.
“It’s nice to see you too Chris.” I chuckle a bit again, before flashing him a genuine smile and he returns the favour.
・❥・
The day and evening of this current Christmas Eve had flew in. I had barely just unpacked and got something quick to eat before it was time for Julie and I to make our way over to the Sturniolo family’s house. We had a really nice night and it was so good to catch up with them all, though I had to admit despite Chris and I’s constant flirting, I was a little disappointed that Chris nor anyone else had failed to mention in a passing joke comment about our shared first kiss all those years ago. As I say goodnight to my aunt and clutch my hot chocolate against my chest to warm me, I make my way upstairs to my old room, a wave of nostalgia washing over me before I climb into bed. I begin to scroll through TikTok on my phone as I blow on the mug here and there, impatiently waiting to take a sip. I’m only four videos in when my watching is interrupted by a notification falling down at the top of my screen.
It’s an Instagram message from Chris himself, and when I read what he’s sent I can’t help but let out a small sigh as I smirk and blush. The same thing he had told me that night back in 2017 is the same thing his text was informing me of now.
‘It’s snowing!’ the text spells out, his two words followed by a simple snowflake emoji.
‘It’s been a long time since you’ve text me to say that Chris.’ I reply, my face lit up by the glow of my screen in the darkness as the heat of my chocolatey beverage rests on my lap, keeping me warm as I sit up in the small bed I’ve now outgrown.
‘You know, I’m looking out my window right now at our old treehouse and it’s looking a little lonely. Think I might go out and keep it company and watch the snow fall. Wanna come for old times sake?’ He types back. I instantly grin as my eyes finish scanning his question.
‘It wouldn’t make sense for me not to’ I respond, taking a final sip of my drink before peeling myself from the bed and placing my feet into my worn out Ugg boots.
Once I’ve put my coat on and grabbed everything I need, I make my way outside of my old house to see Chris sporting a white hat under the hood of his khaki hoodie and North Face jacket and fluffy pyjama pants patiently waiting at the end of my driveway.
“Oh well what’dya know? He actually had the courtesy to come get me this time. Chris Sturniolo pulling a Christmas miracle out of the bag..” I joke, walking toward him.
“Bahaha! Yea, yeah whatever dude. Let’s just say I was feeling like being a gentleman tonight. Besides, at least we’re not sneaking out this time” He nudges me, as we head towards his back garden.
“Mm, if I remember correctly, even at fourteen you did redeem yourself as a gentleman that night too. You gave me a blanket and warmed my hands, or is that something you did forget?” I give him a look.
“I don’t know kid, thinking about it now maybe I do recall it and maybe I don’t. Did the blanket look like this?” He asks, a smile forming on his adorable face as he unzips his jacket halfway and pulls out the very same blanket he had offered me that frosty December night.
“Oh my god.” Is all I can let out through a whisper, my breath visible in front of me under the dimly lit lamppost light. He gives a little chuckle, watching as my eyes well up a wee bit.
“You’re surprised by that? Wait till you see what I have your name saved as in my contacts, even if it is your old number.” He diverts his attention away, concentrating on weaving his way past his parents and Matt’s cars.
“What is it?” I question, slipping past the other side.
“Snowflake.” He admits sheepishly.
“You’re not serious!” I exclaim, as we stand face to face at the side gate and he pulls out his phone to show me. Without having to look twice, I peer up at him. “I don’t know what to say other than that’s both insanely cringey and so cute.” I laugh.
“Ayo! Chill out, I was fourteen and never changed it dawg” He argues, holding his hands up in defence and trying his best to explain himself.
“So ‘Mister Famous’ did remember after all this time.” I exhale, relieved at him confirming my younger self’s hopes and thoughts.
“Not ‘Mister Famous’. And you were my childhood friend and my first kiss. I told you we’re hard to forget.” He gives a small wink before opening the wooden barrier at the side of the house for me to pass through.
Once we reach the treehouse, we climb up and begin to watch as the snow gently falls, decorating the landscape. We engage in conversation for a solid ten minutes or so just about our new lives in general before Chris scans my profile and breaks the tension.
“I’m sorry for getting you into trouble that night.” He speaks up softly.
“It’s okay, I guess it was kind of worth it.” I gaze at him momentarily.
“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” He smirks with a roguish twinkle in his stare. I pout my lips and scrunch them a little, knowing he knows I know full well what I was referring to.
“I think it had something to do with you giving me my first kiss, I’m not sure though.” I smile, embarrassment creeping up on me again. I try my best to hold the contact despite his look being so intense.
“Yeah that sounds about right. What’dyou say kid, should we make this Christmas Eve worth it also?” He raises his eyebrows at me, holding his breath as he awaits my answer.
“I mean if we’re gonna stick to tradition properly then?..” I trail off in a whisper, just audible enough for him to hear. Before I know it, Chris’ hand is brought up to meet my cheek, cupping it as he draws me in closer and closes the distance between us, his lips soft and light against my own. I smile and he does the same as he rests his forehead against my own, snowflakes dancing around us in the dark of the night.
“wait- what time is it?” he quizzes, as we break apart. I tap the screen of my watch to show him it’s well past twelve of clock.
“oh, Happy Christmas y/n.” He beams innocently and brightly at me.
“Happy Christmas Chris.” I smile shaking my head, as he draws me back in with a hand to the back of my head as our lips meet again.
warnings: best friends to lovers trope, fluffy af, soft Chris, she/her pronouns.
summary: in which a conversation with Chris about getting older/growing up and being an adult leads to more than a friendship.
note: all of my work is completely fictional. i do not know the triplets personally and therefore all characteristics and mannerisms are not a realistic/accurate representation of them or their personalities in real life. i write for fun. there could potentially be mentions of topics that may trigger people, but they will be very vague and will not be in relation to the triplets. i also will not write anything including topics as such involving the triplets. please do not steal any of my work and post it elsewhere. I work hard on what I write. enjoy!
a/n: I don’t really know what to say here other than being an adult IS fucking hard and I wanna kiss Chris so bad. Inspired by Chris’ fear of getting older and the song ‘Adult’ by Sasha Alex Sloan lmao.
“No one ever told me, growing up gets kinda lonely, being an adult is fucking hard!”
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
For as long as I could remember, Christopher Owen Sturniolo had always been my best friend. We grew up together in our shared hometown of Somerville in Boston; our unlikely bond forming throughout the years of high school. I’m a little older than Chris, two years in the difference between myself and his older brother Justin to be precise. And it was actually through my friendship with Justin that we met. Of course I was close with Nick and Matt too, but there was just something about Chris and I’s little camaraderie that was different. We understood each other in a way no one else could. It was unwavering loyalty and unconditional care and love.
A part of me believed it had all boiled down to the fact growing up Chris had always wanted a sister, and deep down in his very core he had felt like he had gotten that with me from the moment we said hello. And to tell the truth, I felt the same with him. All four siblings were like adorably annoying big and little brothers, especially the youngest. He cherished the fact he could always talk to me whenever he needed to about various different things, both serious and non-serious and some he didn’t always feel comfortable conversing on with his other friends or family. Most of our days were spent fake quarreling and laughing at downright ridiculous and stupid shit, our sense of humours matching together like a missing puzzle piece. We were each other’s comfort characters and comedic relief. Jimmy had made it a conscious effort to joke that our union was solely due to the fact I had a secret crush on Chris and he the same on me, because he really couldn’t comprehend how I put up with him half of the time for another reason other than that, especially given the fact I didn’t even live with them and wasn’t actually biologically family.
Though our relationship was only ever that of platonic, my mother and MaryLou had took it upon themselves to humorously dub us the ‘old married couple’ because of the way we carried on with each other at times. And I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make sense and it weren’t true. Because it did and it was. We went together like two peas in a pod. I always compared our connection to the likes of Bonnie and Clyde or Dom and Letty, but Chris? No. Chris being ever so himself liked to equate us to some rather unusual and contrasting duos, whether that be Rick and Morty, SpongeBob and Patrick, Joey and Chandler, even Donkey and Shrek. And it always made me crack the fuck up.
When the triplets first made their move to LA, it was excruciatingly painful on both of us. I inevitably knew we were going to drift, and though I wasn’t really losing him as a friend or lover, it immediately felt like I was. Chris had promise me no matter what happened nothing would change between us, but unfortunately he lacked the ability to predict the future and despite his determination and best efforts, alas things had. And there wasn’t a thing in the world at that time either of us could do to alter it. In the blink of an eye we had gone from Sandy and Danny to Romeo and Juliet. Once I’d finished up my stint in university and bagged my degree, it was easier to reconnect and rekindle our partnership. After a lot of deliberating, I eventually made the difficult decision to move out to California and leave behind my life in Massachusetts. And when whoever said distance makes the heart grow fonder, they meant it.
・❥・
Present day. Beneath the sprawling canvas of the midnight sky, Chris and I had found solace as we lay in our public little sanctuary, under the iconic Hollywood sign in a grassy patch of Los Angeles’ hills. It was our quiet place. Our safe haven. A location we would venture to whenever we wanted to get away from the world. Only he and I knew about our little trips up here, sneaking away from everybody at dusk when our minds were crowded and there was just a little too much going on.
Usually we’d just sit on a moss covered rock, staring out over the vast expanse of the bustling city and talking until the cows came home, but tonight was different. The shimmering lights of the city stretched as far as our eyes could see, as we sprawled out and watched as the solar system above us, the stars twinkling like little spaceships in the night sky. The silver crescent moon hung low, a delicate ornament in the obsidian tapestry of the night, illuminating both of our faces with a cool glow. Chris was quieter this evening than usual, the silence growing between us becoming deafening. I was comfortable in his presence, but a little concerned. I let out a soft sigh before speaking up to confront him.
“Yo?” I say, turning my head to look at him, his eyes fixated on the atmosphere above us. He reluctantly turns his face to meet my own after a few seconds and looks at me with a blank expression. I sit up a little and rest my hand against my face, my elbow propping me up as it nestles into the ground. “you good?” I ask, my voice laced with worry.
“Mm.” is all I get in response. I inhale deeply through my nose and exhale as I look down at him.
“Chris.” I state his name, knowing full well there’s something playing on his mind.
“Dude what?” He spits back, focusing his attention back on the celestial sphere, luminous in nature.
“Don’t what me kid. What’s up with you tonight?” I enquire. He groans and stretches like he usually does, his eyes closing in the process.
“Nothing. Can’t we just enjoy each other’s company in silence for once?” He questions, peeling his eyes open and shooting me a look.
“Not when I know there’s something wrong with my best friend. You’re not being a little bitch being all quiet and huffing and puffing just for no reason. I know there’s something on your mind. Now talk please.” I probe at him, setting my head back down on the ground but keep my gaze on him. He tuts, knowing I’m not letting this go and finally answers after a minute or two.
“I don’t wanna get older.” He announces. Chris and his brothers had just celebrated turning twenty three months ago, marking the end of their teenage years and the idea of growing up and becoming an adult scared the life out of him. I was fully aware of this, as Chris had talked about it non stop for the whole month of August, both in person and online to all their fans in numerous videos and Instagram posts. But I hadn’t realised it was a recurring thought, still playing on his subconscious.
“Well none of us want to get older Chris.” I point out, chuckling for a split second. “But unfortunately we don’t have a choice.” I bring a hand up to meet his shoulder, resting it gently in an attempt for him to feel my touch and comfort him. He rolls his eyes and I’m positive his own grasp is about to remove my hand from his body when I feel his fingers come into contact with my skin, but he leaves me surprised when he gently rests it over my own.
“Yea no shit kid. I know that. But I just hate it. It’s so stressful and overwhelming. I don’t wanna grow up. It terrifies me.” He retorts, biting his bottom lip as his eyes roam the sky. “Life is amazing right now don’t get me wrong. And I’m grateful obviously. But the future is so daunting it’s insane. Like having to mature and do all this shit for myself? I know I have Nick and Matt but still. What happens when we all go our separate ways to start our lives on our own? I guess I just don’t know what direction to take next and I’m worried I’ll choose the wrong one. I still feel like a kid.” He croaks.
“Tell me about it.” I giggle. “You’re not alone. You think I don’t know how you feel? I literally just turned twenty four at the start of the year and I’m petrified. I’m only starting to get my life together now and even at that I still feel like I’m either not doing enough or I’m doing it all completely wrong. Maturing doesn’t equate to missing out on the fun in life and losing that inner childlike nature. Yeah you’ve to be sensible but it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy shit. And being worried about your life away from Nick and Matt is understandable and fully valid. You guys are triplets, it’s different for you all. But you’ll always have them no matter where in the world you end up. Moving apart is a part of life no matter who it’s with. We all have to fly from the nest someday. It’ll be fine. And I miss home too, so much. Sure I have you, and Nick and Matt and a few others. But it’s still kind of lonely out here. Sometimes I just wish I could run back home to my Mom and have her hug me and tell me it’s all gonna work out because she’ll figure shit out for me. Look, growing up is scary bruh. Trust me, I know. Being an adult is fucking hard. But you’ll find yourself fully eventually. You’ll actually find growing can also be kinda fun.” I explain and he listens intently, nodding here and there.
“Man I wish there was a guide book on how to deal with this bullshit.” He sighs.
“Well there probably is a shit ton of self help books out there on it Chris.” I laugh. “But I know what you mean. As much as I wish there was a manual on life, we’re not given one. We just gotta figure shit out ourselves. And there’s no right or wrong way of doing it. I mean.. morally there is but…”
My thoughts are interrupted with a teasing look and a chuckle from him as if to say ‘what the fuck are you on about? just shut up’. But he knows I’m just trying to reassure him and make him feel better. “Oh my god don’t look at me like that, you know what I’m tryna say..” I shake my head, a little unintentional pout forming on my face. Chris’ eyes scan my own, going back and forth between them and my lips. Time seems to come to a standstill as he smiles at me.
“You’re so stupid y/n you know that? Beautiful, don’t get me wrong. But fucking stupid.”
“Did you understand what I was trying to say?” I question him with widened eyes.
“Yeah.” He responds, his tone affirmative but also confused at the same time, as though he’s waiting for me to elaborate.
“Well then. You can’t talk. Either I’m smart and I make sense or you’re just dumb too.” I comment. “Wait did you just call me-?” I investigate but trail off not wanting to say the word.
“Beautiful? Yeah, can’t a man appreciate his best friend’s beauty and compliment her without her making it some sort of big ordeal?” He gives me a deadpan stare.
“Woahhh, that’s a big word for you. Surprised you even know what it means and which context to use it in. Well done.” I tease back with a smug grin, trying to change the subject as I have no clue how to respond to what he’s just said.
“Hey?! Fuck you dawg. I know you’re only trying to flirt with me.” He pronounces, an amused expression forming on his face as he pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue, satisfied with my reaction before I even have time to get any words out. I roll my eyes and sigh, a defeated smirk forming on the corners of my mouth as I fall back down and look up. I say nothing more which prompts him to speak up again. “Careful, if you blush any harder your cheeks might stay that red forever.” He jokes, now sitting up and propping himself in the same position I had done previously, his stature towering over me as we lay together.
“And how would you know I’m blushing? You can’t see in this light. Not that I am anyways but..” I stutter a little, flustered like there’s no tomorrow.
“I’m not stupid like you. Plus, you’re a terrible liar.” He smirks back. He swiftly tilts my chin to look up at him with his thumb and index finger, my heart starting to race in the midst of it all. “Do you’ve any regrets?” He puts forth his question.
“Mm, yeah. There’s a lot of stuff I’ve said and done that I’ve paid the consequences for. And a whole lot of shit I wish I never had to go through. You know better than anyone I’ve definitely put myself in comprising and vulnerable situations that I could have definitely avoided if I’d been wise enough. I mean, not all of them. I’m not responsible for other people’s actions and shit I have no control over. But if I could go back in time and change a lot of things I would. It’s in the past now though, all a learning curve I suppose. That’s the only positive way to look at it. So yeah, I guess I do have regrets. Why? Do you?” I ask furrowing my eyebrows at him. He nods listening intently and preparing himself for the risk he’s about to take, knowing he could potentially be throwing a spanner into the works but not caring at the same time.
“Mhmm. We all do.” He replies, almost in a whisper. I observe him as he continues to eye every inch of my face.
“Like what?” I seek out. I lay frozen in place as the tension between us builds. Chris takes his opportune moment to close the distance between us, his hand cupping my cheek as he leans down and presses his lips to my own. I’m taken aback momentarily but it doesn’t take me long to adjust into it. Our mouths explore each other as I bring a hand up to the back of his head, intricately weaving my fingers with his hair. We pull apart after a good few minutes to catch our breaths.
“Not doing that sooner.” He admits, as I flash him a smile, my heart bursting with happiness.
“Still scared of growing up and having a girlfriend?” I taunt, a smile appearing on both of our faces.
“Not if I’m doing it with you. And no why? You saying you wanna be my girlfriend now?” He perks up as he raises his brows.
“Maybe. I mean it’s about time you took us out of the best friend zone.” I tease again earning me an eye roll and another soft lingering kiss on the lips. As we break apart, Chris shakes his head at me and brushes a strand of hair out of my face, gently caressing my cheek following it.
“Oh really? Guess you’re my girlfriend now so.” He grins.
“Wait just like that? You’re not even gonna ask me Chris?” I quiz, lips carefully meeting my forehead again.
“Nope. Not my style. Besides, I already have my answer.” He winks.
“You’re insane..” I mumble.
“What was that? Insanely in love with you? Absolutely.” He smiles wider than ever.
I Didn’t Change My Number ❀ M.Sturniolo & C.Sturniolo
pairing: Chris Sturniolo x fem!reader, Matt Sturniolo x fem!reader.
warnings: enemies to lovers(?) trope, SMUT, threesome, swearing, a LOT of angst, she/her pronouns.
summary: in which the reader is friends with Nick and Madi but Matt and Chris claim hate her until the night of the triplets birthday where she gets invited over and she ends up fucking both Matt and Chris together.
note: all of my work is completely fictional. i do not know the triplets personally and therefore all characteristics and mannerisms are not a realistic/accurate representation of them or their personalities in real life. i write for fun. there could potentially be mentions of topics that may trigger people, but they will be very vague and will not be in relation to the triplets. i also will not write anything including topics as such involving the triplets. please do not steal any of my work and post it elsewhere. I work hard on what I write. enjoy!
a/n: tysm for whoever requested the angsty smut Chris imagine. I accidentally deleted the draft I had of it but I promise I will try my best to remember what you asked for and do it asap. Anyways, this fic is inspired by ‘I didn’t change my number’ by Billie Eilish and is somewhat along the same lines.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
Nick and Madi were the first two people I had ever really made a solid friendship with following my move to LA a little over a year and a half ago. Sure, I had made a few other connections here and there, but none of them ever seemed genuine and meaningful, and they had a tendency to fizzle out just as quickly as they started. Everyone was painstakingly fake and it didn’t take me long to see their true colours and cut them off, mainly because I had no time for the clout chasing, the drama or the bullshit they had to offer. In fact none of them truly shared the same interests and opinions as me, or had any sort of entertaining personality either, in comparison to Nick and Madi. Which was why we got on so well. We shared the same values and outlook and perspective on life. And it was simple and fun with them.
I still remember the first night I met them. We were all at some influencer party that none of us really gave a shit about, but somehow still ended up attending anyways. I didn’t really drink, and neither did they, so as we stood to the side and watched everyone else make a fool of themselves, we ended up engaging in conversation. Nick asked if I wanted to leave with them to get food and watch movies, and I knew I’d be kicking myself like a fucking moron if I declined given my friend’s list being very lacklustre at that time. So I said yes, and our friendship blossomed, so to speak, from there.
I had obviously heard of the Sturniolo Triplets before but never really took the time to watch them, so I hadn’t realised Nick was one of individual members until we had got outside the function the other two brother’s Matt and Chris had picked us up in their car. I was surprised to say the least, not only at the fact my friend count had gone up by not two but four now, but also at the fact Nick wasn’t the only good looking one. Obviously given the fact they were triplets I should have known, but little old me wasn’t thinking, and I sure as hell hadn’t expected Chris and Matt to be so fucking unbelievably hot.
Madi, Nick and I hung out a lot together as just a trio, but more often than not Nick’s two comrades found themselves joining us along with Nate when he came to LA to form one big group. It was always so much fun. The shit we got up to was inevitably insane. I was so happy I’d thought I’d finally found my people. At least some of them. But things took a turn for the worst when one day I overhead Matt and Chris chatting shit about me and they pretty much admitted they didn’t like me at all. And without going into a whole lot of detail, let’s just say it escalated from there. Nick, Madi and I’s friendship naturally became complicated and strained. Despite Nick’s protests for me to not give a shit what his brother’s thought and to still come over to hang out at their house, I avoided it and them at all costs. Which meant I started seeing very little of my two best friends together and it was really difficult for me as you can imagine.
Sure we’d met up at my place from time to time when my housemates weren’t being complete dickheads or we ventured over to Madi’s every now and again. But it wasn’t the same. We didn’t have the freedom that we did when we were at the triplets house. And it was very hard to find time Chris and Matt weren’t in residence. So the less time we spent together the quicker we drifted, which was so unfair and unfortunate, but realistically there was nothing I could do about it. It’s hard to maintain a friendship with a twin or triplet when one or both of their siblings claim to resent you with every fibre of their being. I had never found out the reason as to why and to be honest neither Nick, Madi nor I could think of one. Nick was usually the reliable one when it came to judgment of someone’s character. If his brothers didn’t like you it was usually because he didn’t. But he did, and he failed to see why they had anything against me. He questioned them on it so many times, but they offered him nothing other than a ‘holy fuck we just don’t’. This infuriated and hurt us even more. So as two months went by and my friendship with my two closest friends dwindled, I began to feel more and more isolated and alone. That was until August 1st, the triplets birthday and the day I had got not only a notification on Instagram from Nick who had thanked me under my post for my good wishes, but also message request from another user inviting me to a party they were having. And much to my confusion, that other user just so happened to be Matt.
・❥・
Almost a quarter past eight in the evening. I stand in the kitchen of the triplets house, clutching a can of Pepsi to my chest as I anxiously listening in to Madi, Nick and Laura’s conversation, only catching a few sentences here and there. I stare into space and hesitate to engage in conversation, becoming preoccupied with my concerned thoughts. It was the first time I’d seen them or hung out with them in so long, and if it wasn’t already awkward and stressful enough, the person who had invited me here tonight had just emerged from his room and was currently leaning against the counter behind us, eyeing me up and down like a lion about to pounce on its prey.
“Alright well have fun you guys. Make sure to keep the music to a minimum and you don’t let in more than you lot have invited. You don’t want the cops showing up. If you have any problems let me know okay?” Laura’s voice echoes across the room as she gathers her handbag and keys and heads towards the stairs leading down to the front door. Nick and Madi chuckle before responding.
“Thanks Mom.” Madi states and Nick repeats, earning him a smile and an eye roll from his manager. With that, she makes her way down the steps as she prepares to leave the house. Nick and Madi follow her to say goodbye, leaving me alone in the presence of Matt. He quickly glances up and notices I’m by myself, before darting his attention away and back at his phone. I stay silent, pretending to be focused on my nails as I await him to speak up. But alas there’s nothing, only the eery stillness giving me more time to ruminate. I knew he probably wanted to say something, but his anxiety wouldn’t let him and it just made things disconcerting. It was safe to say the energy he had given over text when I had agreed to come was nowhere to be found in this moment.
As the silence grows more intense, I decide to bite the bullet and verbalise.
“So, what time is everyone getting here?” I ask, gulping hard in the process. Matt’s gaze shoot’s up to meet my own, his eyes giving me a rather deadpan stare and unamused look. In the seconds it takes him to contemplate on replying, you could almost hear crickets chirp. “Sorry I..” I begin again but he cuts me off.
“Ten.” He sighs, removing his elbow that had been rested on the counter and standing up straight. He stretches his arms out and yawns gently, his T-shirt rising up to reveal his v-line and snail trail in the process. I scan my eyes quickly and divert my attention away in the hope he hasn’t noticed. But he does. “Like what you see sweetheart?” He smirks, a smug expression etched upon his face.
“No.” I lie through a soft mumble, embarrassment creeping up on my cheeks. I pray silently Nick and Madi come back up as quickly as possible so I can remove myself from this interaction.
“Aw come on y/n, tell that to your face. I know for a fact you missed me and Chris just as much as you missed Nick.” He taunts, shifting his stance and slowly making his way toward me. He pauses once he reaches me, his breath warm on my flushed skin as he places both arms either side of me, locking me in place. I couldn’t help but notice how good he smelt. His eyes browse between my own and my lips, causing me to get even more flustered by the minute. Just as he cups my cheek and attempts to leave a trail of kisses on my neck, he hears Nick and Madi close the front door and he backs away, a cheeky look on his face as he walks toward his room as if nothing had happened.
Red solo cups filled to the brim with both carbonated soft drinks and alcohol, large silver beer kegs, copious amounts of different drugs and an insane number of sweaty bodies fill the residence of the triplets as the party gets well underway. This was possibly the best opportunity I could have been given to integrate myself back into not only my old friend’s lives but to the social scene of Los Angeles, however I couldn’t help but feel awkward and overwhelmed. As people crowd around me, I give Madi a heads up that I’ll be back in a few and I do my best to slip away to the closest bathroom. I didn’t need to go to the toilet, I just needed a second to breathe. Considering I was on the middle floor, Matt’s was my immediate first choice. But in spite of that, once I arrived outside it, I was greeted by a few others telling me there was a queue. Typical.
I decide to try and make my way toward Nick’s room, but I’m stopped in my tracks at the top of the stairs leading down toward the garage and Chris’ room by none other than Chris himself. He towers over me as individuals push into him, our bodies practically pressed up against each other.
“Where you headed off to?” He questions, an intimidating yet completely sexy look on his face as he brushes a hand through his hair.
“Bathroom. Matt’s is unavailable for the next while so I thought I’d try Nick’s.” I tell him though my words are barely comprehendible over the loud rap music playing.
“You hooking up with someone?” He interrogates me, his demeanour daunting.
“What no? Why?” I return back as I scrunch my face confused. Chris doesn’t respond with words but rather grasps my wrist and whisks me in the direction of his room, Matt watching intently from across the room and following. Chris ignores my endless questions as to where we’re going and what’s happening while he and I stumble down the stairs. Upon our arrival to his room, he urges everyone to move away and guides me inside. I feel his hold loosen and I enter, watching as he waits at the door for Matt to enter and forcefully shuts it, turning the key to lock it along with it.
“What’s the fuck’s going on? What are you guys doing?” I raise my voice with an astonished and bemused impression. Neither of them answer, instead they just glare at me, their eyes burning into my core. “Hello will one of you please explain?” I shout.
“Shut the fuck up oh my god. We will.” Matt retorts, leaning his head against the wall and crossing his arms and legs. Chris glances at his brother before making his way over toward me and motioning for me to sit on his bed. I dart him a look but he’s relentless. I give in, perching myself on the edge as he does the same.
“Okay so fucking speak up or let me out and forever hold your peace.” I declare. Both Matt and Chris shake their head and chuckle.
“Someone’s still so full of attitude.” Chris smirks, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “So hot.” He murmurs. I shrug him off and look at him not only puzzled but uncomfortable. Matt pushes himself off the wall and regains a new position the opposite side of me, standing up to my left.
“Didn’t I hear Laura tell you to be nicer earlier on?” He asks, his thumb coming into contact with my lip and pulling it down softly.
“Not to you.” I respond back, giving him a death glare of my own. This earns me a scoffed laugh from both of them, the pair widening their eyes at my answer.
“ohhh shit. why so fiesty?” Chris teases, his hand running up my thigh.
“Don’t worry bro, I bet she’s all bark and no bite.” Matt adds.
I sigh in frustration, my body tensing and shaking as I feel Chris’ touch.
“Hilarious. Now what do you guys want? Seriously?” I enquire, nerves taking over me.
“Did you change your number?” Matt asks, ignoring me and changing the subject.
“Nope, why?” I spit back.
“Tried to call and text you a few times but the messages never went through, hence the Instagram message. I take it you have me blocked?” He bites his lip, gently rubbing my shoulder.
“Why do you care? Are you obsessed with me or something?” I snap. Chris pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue, amused at this ongoing interaction between myself and his brother. His hand is still rested on my thigh, his finger tracing circles back and forth.
“Because I do. Look we’re trying to make amends here.” He exhales, slumping himself beside me so that both of them are now on the bed.
“Oh really, is that what you’re tryna do? Seems to me like both of you are just trying to get into my pants.” I give him a sarcastic smile.
“Hmm, that too kid.” He jokes with a half smiles back, a thumb of his own softly grazing my cheekbone under my eye.
“Guilty.” Chris joins in. I groan and try to scoot myself off the mattress in an attempt to head for the door despite it being locked, but I feel two hands either side of me pull me back. I stand frozen in place, slightly terrified. Matt notices this and offers Chris a look as if to tell him silently to let go.
“Sorry, we shouldn’t have done that. But please, just stay and let us explain.” He pleads. I turn around to look at them both, their gaze softening. I reluctantly nod and he continues. “We’re sorry. About ruining your friendship with Nick and Madi. It was stupid and selfish of us. You have to understand something though. We both liked you. Like really liked you. And it was causing so many arguments between us. The night you heard us talking about you, saying we didn’t like you and stuff. It was a lie. We knew you were listening and we didn’t want you to hear how we really felt. It was dumb and I don’t know why we did it. I guess we just thought the best solution was to not have you in our lives because it was coming between us, even if it meant Nick not having you either. It was childish and we know we fucked up alright? We’re really sorry, right Chris?”
I furrow my brows as Chris looks at his brother then back at me and nods. “Wow seriously? Fuck you both. You think I’m gonna believe that bullshit? Even if I did, I have no sympathy for either of you assholes.” I blurt out in disbelief and rage.
“It’s not fucking bullshit y/n it’s true.” Chris shouts.
“Well if it is, then you two are the most immature, self centred human beings I’ve ever met in my life. You’ve got a lot of fucking nerve you know that? God, actually I’ve heard enough, how about you just unlock the door now, I think I should go.” I announce my demand.
“Go where?” Matt asks concerned.
“Home. Before I lose the plot altogether and get too mean and really take it out on you.” I exclaim. “And your little best friend too.” I smirk again sarcastically, directing my words toward Chris as he sighs.
“Don’t go.” Chris practically begs, standing up to meet me. “Please.”
“Why?” I confront him yet again as Matt exhales deeply and follows his brother’s movements. Having both of them observe me like this was making me weak at the knees, no matter how infuriated I was in this moment. Fuck they looked so good when they eyed me up as if they were about to devour me like a pack of wolves.
“Just to give us a little time to try and change your mind.” Matt expresses.
“And how do you plan on doing that?” I query, as Chris takes a step closer towards me, the distance between us practically non existent.
“Hmm..like this.” He smirks before brushing my hair to my back and leaning in to plant his lips along my jawline and down my neck, causing me to moan out softly in pleasure. Matt takes the hint and follows his twins lead as he breaks Chris and I away and pulls me in toward him and lets his own lips press against me. I resist momentarily, but he tasted so good that I couldn’t help myself. He snakes a hand around my waist and rests it on my ass, squeezing it here and there as the kiss deepens. I reach a hand up to lace my fingers with my hair, causing him to become needy and desperate.
Chris getting increasingly jealous, pushing Matt off of me, the two of them now going back and forth between each other like a tennis match.
“Wait, have you guys ever done this before? You know like, with just one girl? Aren’t you guys gonna get freaked out or jealous of each other?” I question as Chris grabs either side of my thighs and hoists me up in his arms. I wrap my own around his head and waits for him to reply.
“Nope. But there’s a first time for everything. And nah, I don’t care about it if Matt doesn’t. And if neither one of us can have you all to ourselves, we might as well share. If that’s alright will you princess?” He smirks. I don’t know how to reply, unsure as to what exactly is happening and how I truly feel about it. But my body reacts quicker than I do and I impulsively nod indicating a yes. Matt chews his gum with a satisfactory grin and pulls his shirt off revealing his bare chest. He palms himself through his sweatpants, watching as Chris lays me down on the bed. Chris’ eyes are hungry, like a bloodsucking vampire about to feast.
My body trembles as lifts up my shirt and trails down my stomach, stopping as he reaches my abdomen at the top of my waistband. He pulls my cargos and underwear off of me and looks away as he throws them to the floor, Matt taking this as his opportunity to step into Chris’ place. He gently pulls me down towards him as he positions himself, his lips trailing along my inner thighs as my heart races. I feel my breath become hot and heavy as he inches closer to my pussy, his eyes not leaving my gaze the entire time.
Chris climbs on top of the bed near my head, letting his dick spring free from his pants. My eyes widen at the size of him and I suck on my bottom lip, observing as he strokes up and down and lets out a grunt whilst tilting his head back. I dart my attention back down to Matt as he sucks on my clit ever so tenderly, my hand coming down to meet his hair to tug at it.
“Fuck.” I let out through a moan, my back arching like a cat. Chris continues to play with himself as he watches, the sight of me turning him on even more. My free hand clenches the bed sheets, Matt’s tongue flicking little circles on my rosebud. Chris snaps his fingers to get my attention, my eyes focusing on his long and hard member.
“I want you to suck me off while Matt makes you feel good angel.” He states sternly. I was the furthest thing from an angel right now, but there was something about him calling me that that made my pussy pulsate even further. I gulp, as I take Chris’ throbbing dick in my hand that had been clutching the bed and begin to move it up and down. Just as I start, I feel Matt tease my opening, before licking my fluids off of his fingers and carefully bringing them back down to insert them inside me. Before I even have time to adjust to them, he’s already fingering me rapidly, the tips of his skin curling to hit my g-spot with each stroke. I can barely continue to concentrate on Chris’ dick, my movements becoming slow and irregular as I whimper in pleasure.
“uhhoh f-uck..” I cry out as he picks up the pace. Chris lifts my chin and tilts it to meet his length again, it brushing against my lips all in one motion. I continue to pull down on it, his tip dripping with pre-cum. “mmhm that’s it.. good girl.” He whines, waiting for me to take him in my mouth. I motion for him to come in closer to me and let my tongue guide itself along him a few times, before sucking gently on his cusp. He grabs the headboard of the bed instantly and rolls his eyes back simultaneously, all while Matt continues to flick inside me. I feel him grab my hand from its position on his head, letting go of his hair and intertwining his fingers with my own as he buries his face down and licks in between my folds. Once I have Chris’ dick down my throat, he pumps in and out of me, my head bobbing up and down along him, taking him as best I can. I let out a few muffled shrieks as Matt starts to eat me out like a munch.
A few tears stream down my face as both men occupy both my holes; one with his dick and the other with his tongue.
We continue like this for a solid five or six minutes, my moans heard as I choke on Chris’ dick and his hand wrapped around my neck, until he feels himself coming close and withdraws from my mouth. Matt continues to pleasure me now with three fingers, and within seconds my legs tremble and I squirt out onto his face. Both men break apart and Matt uses his T-shirt to wipe himself. Once he’s done, he removes his pants and feels himself, a hand running through his hair hurriedly. All of us try to catch our breath before Chris speaks up.
“Holy fuck that felt so good. At least now I know that mouth is good for more than just arguing.” he exhales with a chuckle.
“Glad you enjoyed.” I offer him an eye roll and a sarcastic smirk. Matt throws his t-shirt back onto the floor and climbs back onto the bed, this time fully on top of me. His hand holds the headboard as his thumb pulls down on my bottom lip again.
“And what about you gorgeous? Did you enjoy that?” He raised his eyebrows and smiles.
“Mmhmm, More than I have breath to explain.” I announce, the rise and fall of both our chests like we’d just ran a marathon.
“They don’t call me Matt the Munch for nothing pretty. But I’ll bet you’ll enjoy this a whole lot more.” He puts forth, kissing my forehead and motioning for me to move my legs up to let him in between them. I do as he says and watch as he leans down to make out with me, his lips parting my own every few seconds to meet my neck. Once we break apart, he spits on his hand and palms himself, lubricating his dick up now to insert inside of me.
“Say yes just so I know you’re sure.” He asks me, ensuring he had my consent. I nod but it’s not sufficient enough for him. “Say it baby, use your words.” He probes again.
“Yes Matt. Please, fuck me.” I mumble, growing more inpatient by the second. Matt doesn’t hestitste any longer, instead pulling me toward him and lining himself up with my pussy. I don’t even have time to think as he slides himself inside of me. Chris watches on as his brother begins to pound me, his thrusts getting harder and harder each time. Since he hadn’t came in my mouth, I knew he was planning on riding me too. It was just a matter of when. I knew my vagina was going to come out red raw after this.
Matt continues to push himself back and forth, his hands holding my stomach either side as his dick slithered in and out. I almost scream in pleasure with each stroke near sending me into a spiral.
“Good girl. You like that huh? You like Matt’s dick fucking you hard? Tell daddy how much you like it baby.” He spits out, his hand grasping my throat.
“Hughhh Matt. Fuck yes daddy. Keep fucking me like that.. oh my.. oh my fucking GOD. Mmmhmm.” I whimper, his tip hitting my walls and sending me over the edge. Matt wastes no more time as he fucks me into oblivion.
“Open that slutty little mouth of yours.” He demands and once again I do as I’m told. A string of Matt’s spit falls directly into my mouth, the sight of it causing him to peg me even more aggressively. My walls clench around him and I quiver as I orgasm, this inching Matt closer to his own finish. It only takes a few more moans from me for Matt to reach his climax, his dick filling me up with his cum and coating my insides a thick white colour.
At this point, Chris can’t contain his jealousy anymore. His eagerness takes over his body and before I know it he has Matt pushed off of me as soon as he’s pulled out.
“Move dawg. It’s my turn.” He pronounces. Matt chuckles and peels himself off of the bed, removing himself to Chris’ bathroom. Chris stares down at me intently before speaking up. “Oh nah, best believe I’m not fucking you the same way he did.” He shakes his head. “Stand up and turn around.” He says, pointing towards the side of the bed. I follow his instructions and manoeuvre myself into position as does he.
“Chris what about his cu-“ I begin, but with a quick hand pushing my head down a little more so that my back is properly arched, he lines himself up like his brother had done and slides himself into me. I feel him tap at the back of my leg, indicating he had wanted me to put a knee up. I raise my knee so that it’s resting on the mattress, and Chris pulls at my hair as he slams in and out of me.
“Oh my fucking god.” He blurts out, each of his strokes accompanied by a loud moan. “Fuck your pussy feels so good. Shiiittt.”
I clutch at the bed sheets once more as Chris fucks me harshly from behind. I had never in my wildest dreams thought I’d be getting railed by both Matt and Chris, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about them separately. And I knew for a fact Chris was a sucker for doggy style.
“Chris Chris fuck.. oh my god.” I whimper as he continues to grab my ass and pounds me.
“Hmmm yes princess. That’s it, ride this dick like a good little slut. You know I give it to you so much better than him.” He shouts, his cock hitting my core. I’m nearly in tears over how good he feels, his grip tightening on me as he comes close to ejaculating inside of me the same way Matt had done.
“Chris.. Chris I-I’m gonna c-cum.” I pant heavily, just about getting the words out.
“Me too babygirl. I’m so close to filling you up. Ughhh yes.. fuuuck.” He groans, his own thick and creamy jizz lacing with my own. Once we ride out our highs, his thrusts slow right down until they come to a complete stop. He pulls out and stands out of breath with his hands on his hips. I do my best to turn and sit down on the bed, my heart rate at all time high. Chris quickly comes over to stand in front of me, his legs parting my knees as he places himself between my legs. His gaze is fixated on me, as he lifts my chin up to look at him. My eyes scan his face, unsure as to what he’s doing until he reaches down and kisses my lips, a smile forming on the corners of my mouth.
I don’t even have time to process everything that’s just happened and what his kiss meant, though I had a fair idea. Matt emerges from the bathroom, shaking his head and giggling away to himself.
“what?” I ask confused, Chris laughing now too though he hadn’t a clue why.
“I just realised you never even wished us a happy birthday.” Matt grins.
“Not that I really had a chance to but Happy birthday.” I roll my eyes and close them as I take a deep breath.
“Where’s our gift?” Chris teases. I shoot him a look as he smiles knowing he’s just about taking the absolute piss.
pairing: matt sturniolo x fem!reader, all triplets x fem!reader.
warnings: fluff, depicts ill mental health so TRIGGER WARNING, swearing, she/her pronouns.
summary: in which the reader who is suffering extremely bad with her mental health avoids telling her boyfriend Matt that she’s struggling again in fear of setting him back.
note: all of my work is completely fictional. i do not know the triplets personally and therefore all characteristics and mannerisms are not an realistic/accurate representation of them or their personalities in real life. i write for fun. there could potentially be mentions of topics that may trigger people, but they will be very vague and will not be in relation to the triplets. i also will not write anything including topics as such involving the triplets. enjoy!
A/N: finally a part 2 I’m sorry about the wait y’all. Been tryna figure out what direction I wanted this fic to go. I hope y’all love it as much as part 1. Song inspiration for this piece is ‘People Help the People’ by Birdy.
“God knows what is hiding in those weak and drunken hearts, guess the loneliness came knocking, no one needs to be alone or sinking, people help the people, and if you're homesick, give me your hand and I'll hold it.”
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
Silence fills the confined air of the car as we commence our drive back to the triplets house, but while the atmosphere is tense and anxiety-induced on both our halves, Matt does his best to comfort me with a gentle hand resting on my thigh as he keeps focused on the road in front of us. I lean my head against the damp window and sigh, unsure of what to expect when we arrive.
Both Chris and Matt’s words about me being their friend and girlfriend, and knowing I should be able to talk to all three of them whenever I need to play over and over in my mind like a record stuck on repeat, and although I know it should feel consolatory, it doesn’t. The guilt and shame I feel is immeasurable, and despite my awareness of it being completely and utterly irrational, I can’t help but experience it. If there was one thing about me, it was that I have always hated crying in front of others and showing any sort of vulnerability. I have also always despised anyone having any form of sympathy or pity for me. Which in every situation it has been ridiculous in hindsight, but inevitable nonetheless. I just loathed feeling like a burden, especially to someone like Matt. He didn’t need it nor deserve it. But he loved me unconditionally and there was nothing any of us could do to change that fact, so in my eyes he endured it.
I’m snap out my stressful thoughts as Matt clears his throat and speaks up, his breath visible as he parts his lips due to the cold temperature outside.
“what are you thinking about hmm? what’s on that pretty little mind of yours?” he asks, his voice the softest it has ever been before. He looks across at me with compassionate eyes, yet there’s a hint of indescribable sadness and worry still etched across his face. This being the exact reason I didn’t want him to ever find out. Because once he knew, his care and concern would fill him up with even more anxiety like a balloon about to burst. And I hated that I felt like I was weighing him down so much which would make me even more uncomfortable and depressed. It was a vicious circle.
“nothing.” I let out after a few moments in a hushed almost inaudible mumble.
“y/n you and I both know that’s not true. Just tell me, please.” He swallows, wanting to just get home as quickly as possible so he could wrap me up in his arms all night and never let me go.
“I’m just worried about what Chris and Nick are gonna think or say. What if they think I’m too much for you? What if they think we’d be better off apart? What if they think my mental health is making yours wor-” I ask in admittance , voice almost breaking again as the words spill out before Matt cuts me off. I close my eyes as I feel my nose stinging again, attempting not to let any salty water leak from my eyes. I feel Matt’s soft grasp on my leg squeeze a little tighter, reassuring me before he’s even responded.
Matt turns his view back to the road and sighs in response as we continue driving.
“The fact that you would even think that baffles me y/n I’m really not gonna lie to you. Look, you know I have never and will never dismiss or invalidate your thoughts and feelings about certain things, and I know your anxiety is getting the best of you right now. First of all you know my brothers better than I do sometimes. Chris and Nick adore you and I know for a fact they don’t think that about you or our relationship. If they did, I wouldn’t have still been dating you after day one never mind day three hundred and sixty five. Second, you’re acting like you’re like this all the time. You know you’re not gorgeous and this is just a rough patch at the moment. As I said we all go through it every now and again. And remind me again how many times you’ve helped me with my anxiety and mental health? Not to mention Chris and Nick when they’ve been going through it? You’re overthinking this way too much darlin. Trust me, when it’s even me saying it you know it’s true.” He states.
I know he’s right. I do. But at the same time I don’t. At least my stupid little brain doesn’t. I hesitate to respond, which only prompts Matt to continue even more.
“Babe. Chris and Nick are not perfect either. None of us are. Do you think they expect you to be this constantly carefree and happy person all the time? Of course they don’t y/n, we’re not robots. You’re human. And they know what it’s like to have grown up with me and how to deal with me on my bad days. They’re not gonna judge you okay can you please just believe me and trust me on that?” He pleads, looking over and giving me a small encouraging smile. I nod in response as he brings his hand up to meet my back, gently caressing behind my shoulder.
The drive doesn’t take as long as I had originally expected, given the time and the fact there was currently very little cars on the road. We eventually make it to the neighbourhood the house is situated in, and as Matt pulls into the driveway and parks the car in the garage, I quickly gather my things and take a deep breath. My hands start to become clammy and shake as I fluster about, not wanting to step outside the vehicle. I pray silently that Chris and Nick have gone back asleep, but a part of me knows that even if I hadn’t came tonight with Matt after he had ventured out to pick me up, they’d still be awake worrying about him getting home safely so late, especially given the circumstances.
I’m interrupted by Matt switching the overhead panel light on and carefully gripping my arm before we leave the car.
“Hey, hey. Look at me, y/n look. I love you alright kid? Everything is gonna be fine. I don’t just mean about Chris and Nick and our relationship. I’m talking about everything going on your life right now. You’ve got me and I’ve got you. We’re gonna get through all of this together.” He whispers, the thumb of his free hand cupping my cheek and stroking my skin delicately.
“I’m so lucky to have you.” I whisper back, pouting ever so slightly as my eyes well up.
“If anything, I’m the lucky one.” He smirks back, shaking his head a tiny bit in disagreement. “Come on, let’s get you inside. How about I let you borrow one of my tracksuits and I’ll get you the chocolate I bought for you and we can cuddle?” He raises his eyebrows at me with a knowing smiling look, emphasising the borrow in his sentence as he knows I have a tendency to steal all his clothes, which he pretends to be upset about by constantly harping on about how he never has anything to wear and he always finds the majority of his wardrobe in my room, but he actually lowkey loves it. Because it makes me happy. And that’s all we ever wanted for each other, was for the other to be happy.
“Is it hersheys?” I whisper with a smug little smile appearing on my face, trying my best not look to cheered up at his words; after all it wasn’t going to take my mental pain away, but I couldn’t help it. He knew just how to heal the trauma filled heart he didn’t even break in the first place.
“Now what kind of boyfriend would I be if it wasn’t? Cookies and Cream, just for you kid.” He responds, his eyes lighting up at my reaction and smiling. Matt takes my hand in his own and kisses my fingers, before we both get out of the car and we make our way into the house.
・❥・
As Matt locks his car, we quickly and carefully make our way inside the building. We squeeze through the garage door and pass Chris’ room, trying to be as quiet as possible as we make our way up the stairs. I reach the step halfway up and my heart rate increases, as Matt follows tenderly holding my hand as best he could from behind me. I begin to feel sick and I pause, a confused look appearing on Matt’s face.
“what’s wrong?” He whispers, not knowing if his brothers are still up at this time.
“I don’t think I can do this.” I reply, looking down at him in the darkness, the only light on being the one Nick had left on in the kitchen.
“You can. Just keep going. My room is literally just up there just go straight in and if they’re still awake I’ll tell them you’re drained and you just want to sleep. You don’t have to see them or talk to them tonight I promise.” He attempts to reassure me, moving so that he’s almost on the same step as myself. He tilts his head slightly as though he’s asking me for my understanding and approval. One thing I loved about Matt was that he would always try his best to encourage me to do things, but if he knew I really wasn’t sure about it and I was very much uncomfortable, he’d always take note of that too and he’d do everything in his power to remove me from the situation and alleviate my stress. He never pressured me into anything. I inhale and exhale deeply, before nodding and continue until we’d reached the top step.
Matt makes his way into the kitchen and points for me to go to his room, and just as I have my hand on the door handle and I believe the coast is clear, I hear a loud and rapid thumping sound, indicating Chris coming down the stairs from Nick’s room. I jolt my head and stand stricken in place, fear washing over me instantly. My entire body trembles as Matt turns around and rolls his eyes. A few seconds that feel more like hours pass as Chris stares me from the other end of the room, tears forming in his eyes as well as my own.
“Chris don’t, go back up sta-“ Matt begins but Chris has already started making his way towards me in a minuscule sort of jog. I let go of my hold on the door knob and adjust my body slightly so that I’m facing toward the path he’s on his way down, bracing for impact as he gets closer and closer. Upon his imminent arrival, he wraps his arms around me and embraces me in the tightest hug I was sure I’d ever received from him. He nestles his head into my shoulder and the crook of my neck as my arms snake around his waist, the both of us now fully sobbing. I peel my eyes open for a split second and watch as Nick appears at the bottom of the stairs, his hand on the banister as he bites his lip and tries to contain tears himself. There were no words needed to be exchanged between us in this moment. Chris was just letting me know he was here.
Matt and Nick exchange glances as they continue to allow Chris to comfort me in this moment. Despite me not wanting to see either of them this night after everything because I thought it would be awkward and judgmental, I was sure glad I did. Chris had always thought of me as a sister and I should have known Matt was right the moment he said what he had said.
“I tried to tell him you might have needed your space and rest for tonight y/n, but he wasn’t having it. He told me he needed to see one of his best friends and he wasn’t going to sleep until he did.” Nick announces, though he really didn’t need to justify Chris’ actions. I needed nothing more than this hug from him right now. Chris continues to hug me tightly, swaying me back and forth a little almost losing his balance as he became overcome with emotions.
“It’s okay.” I mumble, though it’s practically only audible for Chris to hear it. Chris chokes a little as he cries further, a hand of his coming up to meet the back of my head, gently lacing his fingers through my hair. He was so naïve and precious at times, it melted my heart. As we break apart slowly, he wipes my raw, tear-stained face with his thumb and the corner of his long-sleeve t-shirt, a hurt expression etched across his face as he squints through blurry, wet eyes of his own. He shakes his head in the process, unable to form any words. But I knew exactly what he wanted to say. His face screamed ‘how could you be so stupid as to think you couldn’t talk to us?’ and I understood it immediately. Matt’s brothers were just as hurt and angry as he was, and it made sense. I was their friend and they cared about me too. Chris faces continues to scan my one and question as he sobs, his heart breaking at just seeing me though he was grateful he had.
“i’m sorry..” I breathe out and weep further. Nick makes his way over to where Chris and I are standing, and perches himself beside his brother. He gently peels Chris off me and engulfs me in his own bear hug. He lets out a deep sigh as he peers at Matt’s bathroom door over my shoulder.
“you, have absolutely nothing to be sorry about. We’re just glad you’re here and you’re safe with us. That’s all we care about y/n. Whatever you’re going through, all of us are here for you. Even if it’s not in person. Even if it’s just a phone call, a text. We’re only a stones throw away. You’ve got us. We stick together.” He expresses, closing his eyes and giving me a little squeeze, before pulling away and holding both of my elbows as my hands rest on his chest.
“I know I will from now on. I’m sorry for waking you guys up and I get that I should have told you guys especially Matt but as I said to him, I just felt like I couldn’t. I just hate bothering people and feeling like such a liability and a burden to everyone, especially you guys.” I voice back.
Nick looks across at Matt confused, and Matt just simply shrugs.
“First off, don’t be sorry for waking us up. You didn’t even wake Chris up, he was awake anyways. And I’m glad he was and he saw where you were and that Matt went and got you. But also, what do you mean especially us? Girl we’re not that bitchy and judgemental are we?” He chuckles, his eyebrows furrowing in the process.
“No no.. it’s not that I just..” I trail off.
Matt clears his throat once again and speaks up for me.
“She thinks you guys are gonna think she’s bad for me and my mental health. That’s why she didn’t even tell me she was struggling. She felt as though she couldn’t without my world coming crashing down.” Matt gives an awkward little look as his lips twitch to the side.
“Y/N, I have never seen my brother happier than when he’s with you. And as much as you are his world and I know he hates seeing you like this, you having a rough time here and there because you’re a human being is not gonna be the catalyst that pushes the button on his life. We all have our own shit going on and we could never think you’re bad for him just for that. Sure Matt has his own stuff going on with anxiety and stuff but that doesn’t mean he can’t support you when you need him the same way you support him.” Nick offers a smile, rubbing my arm in the process.
“Yeah and if anything we’re glad Matt has someone like you who understands him and shows him love the way you do dawg.” Chris pokes his head around from behind Nick so that I can see him and he sniffles, his eyes darting to the ceiling to stop anymore waterworks coming out.
“Exactly. And never be afraid to reach out and ask for help. Whether it’s Matt, us, Madi, your family, your other friends. We all love you especially Matt and we’re with you every step of the way. You’re never alone, I promise you that.” Nick continues, turning to my side and draping an arm over my shoulder.
“Thank you guys.” I sigh exhaustion washing over me as I wipe my own tears. Nick and Chris both turn their attention to Matt who has tears in his own eyes as he folds his arms nods at them as if to echo my thank you.
“Can we have a group hug?” Chris innocently questions, his eyes fixated on me as he does so. I give a small smile back as Nick draws us all in and we squeeze tightly together.
It was safe to say it was all three of them that was helping mend a heart they didn’t break.
・❥・
After hours of pillow talk, Matt and I finally decide it’s time to try and get some sleep. While I cuddle into him with my head and hand on his chest, his arms tightly snake around me and I feel him reach down to gently plant kisses on my forehead. The darkness of the night slowly begins to disappear as the sunrise peeks through his little box window, illuminating both our skin.
“See I told you Chris and Nick love you. Can I ask you something beautiful?” He mumbles, his eyes closed as his chin rests on my forehead, his stubble slightly tickling me as it grazes my skin.
“Mhmm.” I respond, yawning a little as we cuddle closer.
“Did you have any thoughts about, y’know?..” he trails off.
“About leaving you all alone in this shitty world Matthew? Absolutely not.” I half smile a little as I close my own eyes and begin to drift off.
“Thank fuck.” He exhales in relief. “Promise me?”
“I promise Matt, I’m not going anywhere.” I reply, opening my eyes and sluggishly reaching up to softly kiss his lips. He opens his own eyes and smiles genuinely for the first time all night.
“Good. Cause I don’t wanna lose you, and I’m not going anywhere either kid.” He mumbles, placing a finger up towards his lips and motioning for me to meet them again. And I do.
As I rest my head back, I close my eyes again and snuggle into his warm body.
“And I kind of need you to be here if I’m gonna make you officially part of the family someday. ‘Y/N Sturnuiolo’. I think it’s got a nice ring to it.” He whispers, earning him the first genuine smile he’s seen from me all night, as we both enter into a safe and calm slumber.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
If you or someone you know is struggling, please remember you are not alone and I along with so many other people care about you so so much. You are so worthy of the life you are living and you deserve to be here even if you may feel sometimes like you don’t. If you’re going through a hard time right now I promise you it doesn’t stay like this forever. It will get better, please make sure you stay here to see it. If any of you and I mean any of you no matter who or where you are in the world need to, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me. My DM’s will always be open for anyone who needs it.
My Lover’s Got Humour.. And Anxiety ❀ M. Sturniolo. (P1. Idk???)
pairing: Matt Sturniolo x fem!reader.
warnings: ANXIETY/MENTAL HEALTH trigger warning, swearing, strangers to lovers, FLUFF, kinda cringey as fuck, kinda long, a lot of dialogue, she/her pronouns.
summary: reader meets Matt at a therapy clinic and a budding romance forms.
note: all of my work is completely fictional. i do not know the triplets personally and therefore all characteristics and mannerisms are not an realistic/accurate representation of them or their personalities in real life. i write for fun. there could potentially be mentions of topics that may trigger people, but they will be very vague and will not be in relation to the triplets. i also will not write anything including topics as such involving the triplets. please do not steal any of my work and post it elsewhere. I work hard on what I write. enjoy!
a/n: I’m so sorry I’m getting around to requests and other fics but I kinda just came up with this absolute garbajjjj listening to ‘ocean eyes’ and I really wrote this for myself and all the older fans but if you enjoy it you enjoy it, if you don’t you don’t I just thought it was funny as fuck.
“i’ve been watching you, for some time, can’t stop staring at those ocean eyes. burning cities and napalm skies, fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes.”
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
Monday morning. 11am. Downtown LA. I close my eyes and rest my head against the wall behind me as I sit in uncomfortably in the clinic's occupied waiting room chair, attempting to remain as composed and dignified in this painfully challenging moment in time. Between the continuous hum of the air conditioning, the ticking clock on the wall, the numerous ongoing hushed conversations and the agitating sticky iPad kid sitting across from me shouting and tapping his foot aggressively, I feel myself on the verge of yet another overwhelming sensory overload and very near possible meltdown over this ironically sick and twisted environment. I fold my arms and try to concentrate on my breathing, all the while mentally cursing my therapist out for running late to our session.
I’m in the middle of picking at my finger nails and chewing the skin on the inside of my lips and cheeks, when my thoughts are instantly interrupted by a swift gust of air and a figure walking by. A guy around the same age as me walks in and heads straight for the reception desk, but his movements are so hasty, the only thing I have time to catch a glimpse of is the lower half of his body. My own body tenses and my heart begins to race as I peep the car key that’s hooked to the belt loop of his baggy blue jeans and his creased white air forces upon the lift of my chin, the combination giving me an uneasy sense of familiarly. It’s only as I follow his steps and scan his entire frame once he halts at the counter that my eyes widen and I gulp anxiously, a lump forming in the back of my throat. ‘It’s him. It can only be him’ I think to myself.
Standing frantically in front of the wooden counter he begins signing a waver form, my stress levels increasing by the millisecond. I dart my eyes between him and the door the opposite side of the room, not only wondering where the fuck my therapist is and what the fuck is taking him so long, but also internally debating on my exit and subconsciously hatching together an escape plan though I know my anxiety won’t let me peel myself from my spot. I’m snapped out of my contemplation again when my head turns in his direction again and his eyes meet my gaze. I almost throw up in my mouth as Matthew Sturniolo walks toward me and takes a seat two chairs across from me, my heartburn flaring up from the bile in my stomach and my palms becoming clammy.
I instantaneously shift my view to look at my lap, but his glare remains on me. He was sporting a blue checked lumberjack shirt, with a white vest underneath, and his usual fluffy brown hair was disheveled, now sweaty from his rushed journey to get here. His stubbly beard was growing back again, though it was maintained well and wasn’t out of control, and his nails were painted black however most of polish looked to be chipped. From his neck swung a plain silver chain, with a tiny horse figurine settled against his chest. If that wasn’t enough of an indication to tell me that the young man perched opposite me was exactly who I thought it was, I really didn’t know what else was.
My chest rises and falls as my breathing spirals further and further, causing me physical pain whenever I’m in midst of having an anxiety attack. My body starts producing a wave of little tremors as I bite at my bottom lip, avoiding any form of eye contact whatsoever. But he continued to keep fixated on me, and although I was sure the triplet turning his head and biting the skin at the side of his own nails now had no idea who I was, his own mind seemed to have felt it recognised me from somewhere too.
As another clients name gets called out from the list, we both adjust our heads to look up. The patient next in line to see his assigned therapist was the little kid that had been manic and irritable for the past half hour. He, along with his ignorant to say the least mother, stands up and they both make their way toward the end of the bleak and sterile scented corridor with the counsellor. I take a deep breath and sigh, slowly turning my head to look at my feet again. Matt’s eyes brush over my presence once again, but it’s only for a split second. There were very few people down our end of the wide room now, making this even more uncomfortable and awkward for me now. I check my phone quickly to look at the time, before shaking my head and throwing it back against the wall. Still no sign of my therapist. Los Angeles California’s healthcare and mental health services never ceased to amaze me.
The rapid movement of my head causes me to hit it rather abruptly and harshly against the mundane white painted wall, triggering me to wince in pain momentarily and rub my scalp softly. I scrunch my face and roll my green-tinted eyes, my little mumble of endless curse words prompting Matt to observe me once again. He gives a gentle minuscule smirk and chuckle, clearly amused at my stupidity. I glance in his direction and expect him to look away, but he’s still sat there steadfast with a cheeky expression on his face. I want to speak up and say something, but I just sit there with my mouth agape, my inability to convert the words in my head and on the tip of my tongue into actual sentences causing me to panic and silently hyperventilate even more. His eyes are even more blue in person, resting between a pale marine and a frosty ice shade dependant on the light reflecting on them. The more time I spend looking into them, the more time stands still and I feel myself getting lost as they persist to pierce through my soul.
I almost felt naked the way this man was looking at me, and it honestly scared the hell out of me. And although I was currently in the right place for talking about my fears to a professional, I didn’t really feel like delving into deep conversation with my therapist today not only about the YouTuber I had secretly been hyper-fixating over the past few years finding himself in the same therapy clinic as me, but also about the fact his iris’ were just as perfect as I had imagined them to be in real life and how they were still hooked on my small and emotionally fragile frame, barely shifting once. How does one even rock up to a scheduled appointment and explain this as a trigger?
Of course anyone meeting a celebrity or well known influencer unexpectedly is enough to give anyone heart palpitations and an irregular breathing pattern, especially given the circumstances of our encounter, but if I knew if I were to bring this up to good ol’ Pat the minute he walks in the door, it wouldn’t be Matt and I’s little happenchance rendevous at the doctors office that would be a cause for his concern. It would be the fact I’ve been pining over this man that up until this moment in time had no fucking idea that I existed that would worry him, and I was sure he’d somehow link it to my trauma and attachment issues to nearly every fucking person I’ve ever came across and I didn’t want to run the risk of being admitted.
I try my best to push my thoughts to the side as I shuffle in my seat, but they were like a pesky woodpecker continuously knocking on my brain. I crack my knuckles and I divert my attention away again, but Matt is relentless with his stare.
“h-hi.” I hear him communicate, though his greeting is barely audible. I snap my head to look at him, still confused as to whether he’s talking to me or not.
“I-uh..a..m-me?” I choke, terror spreading across my face as I point towards myself with my shaky fingers.
“yeah..” he mumbles reassuringly, nodding his head a tiny bit and offering an unconfident yet sincere smile. I was sure he could see the worry creeping across my flushed skin, my eyes glinting amber alerting him, almost like little old war-time movie reels of bullets, fiery explosions and dusty Sahara skies were playing on repeat in my pupils.
“u..oh..hi?” I let out, still bamboozled by his acknowledgement of me.
“is uh..your head okay?” he questions sympathetically, his face etched with kindness as he raises his eyebrows and motions towards his own crown. He looks at me hopeful yet inside he’s equally as terrified. I nod back impulsively before I even have time to process everything that’s happening right now. I feel myself easing into his presence, and try to scramble together a verbal response.
“yeah, yeah it’s okay, thank you.” I offer him a shy smile back. He meets me with a nod in return, more words on the edge of his mouth. I still couldn’t wrap my head around his awareness of me, let alone the active engagement we were having right now. I could understand his being here, after all I knew about his struggle with anxiety from following him and his brothers online. And how finding a good reliable therapist that wasn’t just feeding you bullshit for the sake of money in this state was hard to come by, so citizens celebrity or not having a tendency to venture from new place to place was almost a given. But I never in my wildest dreams expected him to pay any sort of notice to me, nor actively seek out any form of conversation between his social apprehension and the fact most influencers seem to be stuck up their own asses. I expect the conversation to end there and then, but he speaks up again.
“Good. Good. That’s great. I-sorry.” He chuckles nervously. “I’m not great with talking to new people. I’m not great with talking to anyone really.” He announces, shaking his head and making an adorably awkward white folk smile.
“It’s fine, don’t worry. I get it, really I do.” I chuckle back as he fumbles with his hands. He shakes his head and his gaze meets his lap, a disappointed look on his face. “Honestly it’s okay. I understand, no judgement here. So..what has you talking to me then?” I ask, tilting my head a little in attempt to reassure him that’s it okay to talk to me, even if he messes up his words. His chin lifts back up and a delightful little visage beams back at me.
“I actually.. I don’t know. I mean obviously to see if your head was okay. But I thought I recognised you from somewhere and I couldn’t place my finger on it so I kind of just thought I was being dumb and delusional and had planned on leaving it. But I.. I don’t know I just couldn’t stop looking at you. Sorry, sorry. That’s weird. Fuck, I’m so sorry.” He jokingly facepalms himself. He was genuinely the very same in person, just as precious and I was falling harder for him by the minute.
“No. No. It’s not. It’s-“ I smile widely at him, chuckling a little but only out of surprise and my heart overloading with happiness. He peels his hand away from his skin and sighs, chuckling back.
“Sorry.” He repeats himself.
“Don’t be sorry Matt, honestly it’s.. that’s really sweet. I don’t know if you noticed but I was trying my hardest not to stare at you too.” I bite my lip, mentally now mimicking his previous actions at my own cringey awkward confession. But he takes no notice of it, only responding back instantaneously with one sentence.
“Wait? You know my name?” he inquires, his eyes widening in the process. I jolt my head back up to meet him, realising I’ve just made the mistake of letting him know I know who he is straight off the bat.
“Shit!” I exclaim, my own eyes matching the expression of his own. “Fuck. I.. I know you, but I.. I don’t know you. Like I know of you, but I- look I swear, I’m not some crazy minor fan that’s gonna stalk you or tell anyone that you come here or anything. I promise. Fuuck..” I sigh, annoyed at my own shit-talking at this stage. I expect his reaction to be one of grimace, but he remains indifferent.
“Hey, hey. It’s all good. Seriously, I got you.” He blushes, his little mouth scrunching up in embarrassent. I hesitate even longer on responding, prompting him to lean forward in his seat and continue speaking. “Kid, chill out. For real, it’s.. I didn’t think you were gonna do that anyways. I actually thought you knew my name because we’d met before or something, and I was relieved because that would explain why you seemed so familiar to me, but that’s obviously not the case. But it’s cool though. I swear.” He chuckles again, but it’s an assurance sentiment more than anything and the furthest thing from judgement. “So am I right in presuming you know Nick and Chris then?” He smiles.
I giggle back in response before replying. “First of all, telling me to chill out is practically futile. I’m not great at that at all. I wouldn’t be here if I was. And yeah, well I mean- as I said I know of you guys but I don’t know you’s. I watch you guys on YouTube, and I watch your twitch streams too, which I’d kind of like to see more of but I understand if you’re you know- preoccupied like myself at the moment.” I express, my last sentence almost sing-songy in tone as I motion to our surroundings in an attempt at a relatable joke. He grins back at me with a teeth-smile, his cheeks still painted a charming shade of pink to match my own.
“Yeah I guess I’m not the best person to be telling you to chill out either.” He jokes back. “And no way swear down? But you’re a little older right? I mean I know you’re not a minor and all but you seem around the same age as me if not a little older.” He quizzes me. I fake scoff back to get a reaction out of him.
“Wow dude okay, kid’s for real out here calling me old now.” I tease. He rolls his eyes and pokes his cheek with his tongue in amusement.
“Not what I meant but alright kid whatever.” He laughs back. “I just think it’s cool that you watch me.. us.. if I’m right and you are. Not that you look old, I just mean. I don’t know you give off older vibes. Fuck, shit, I’m really not helping myself am I?” He exhales loudly.
“No you’re not really not bruh.” I shake my head, neither of us unable to contain our content or smiles at this point. “But you are right. I am older, and before you start guessing ages it’s by four years so I’ll let you do the math.”
“Four years? You’re twenny-four? Fuck outta here kid.” He queries, his eyes widened, as he begins shifting back into his seat and throwing his hand up, the back of it motioning toward the direction of the door. The Boston in him was really coming out.
“HEY?” I yell out a little too loud for our environments liking by accident, causing him to be in hysterics by this stage. “Yes I am twenty-four thank you for sounding so shocked at my elderliness.” I continue through gritted teeth in almost a whisper.
“Sorry. Sorry.” He holds his hands up in defence. “And going back to what you said, yea come to think of it I did see you trying to keep your eyes off me but failing miserably.” He gives a little nod toward the side and raises his eyebrows again.
“Alright buddy calm down.” I give him a look. “It isn’t a lie though is it?” He winks, and before I even have time to respond, my therapist frantically and distressfully appears pacing through the door and bolting toward our counselling room, ushering for me to follow him.
“Oh.. I.. uh.. sorry I have to go.” I say, flustered and disappointed that I have to leave. Matt moves forward in his seat again and stands up as I begin to make my way down the long corridor. “But no, for the record it isn’t a lie. Bye Matt, it was lovely to meet you.” I wave at him.
“Wait.. I don’t even get a hug or your number before you say goodbye kid?” He asks in a loud shout-like tone for me to hear him, his mouth open with a smirk and his hand resting against his chest in fake offence and defeat.
“Uh.. That depends. Do you pick up chicks at every therapy centre you go to and ask for their numbers?” I shout back with a questioning and teasing look.
“Only the one’s I actually have the balls to speak to, so I’ll let you do the math.” He laughs, the blood rushing to his face once again.
“Alright, well if my calculations are correct, I guess that means we’ll just have to wait up for each other then.” I announce, pointing my finger up and referencing that one video causing him to roll his eyes once more and smirk before I wave again and making my way through the door of the office.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
When I finish my session, I find Matt waiting patiently outside for me where I left him, joined alongside a bored and infuriated Chris who didn’t want to wait in the car any longer, because he was bored and infuriated that Matt was taking too long. They both stand up as I walk toward them, Matt smiling as Chris’ expression changes and he nudges his brother as if to say ‘alright I get it now’.
“Wait bro what the fuck? How come you’re out here? I thought I’d be waiting for you?” I ask confused.
“Was just my first session here and we didn’t really get into anything today, so didn’t take that long. Was kind of just filling out details and stuff.” He shrugs his shoulders.
“You didn’t have to wait for me you know?” I furrow my brows and smile back.
“nope he did not.” Chris mutters under his breath, earning him a dig into the stomach from Matt who keeps his focus on me. Chris groans loudly in pain behind him as I giggle.
“Hi Chris.” I chuckle, peering around Matt and giving a small little wave with my hand. Chris, who’s now bent over clutching his side under his ribcage, simply does his best to attempt a smile through the aching. “h-hi” he responds, raising a hand up then continuing to curse under his breath at the young man directly standing in front of me.
“I thought we agreed you were gonna give me your number. How was I gonna get it if I didn’t wait?” Matt teases.
“You want it that bad huh?” I joke back, raising my eyebrows and nodding my head.
“Your name would be nice first. Sorry, I forgot to ask.” He recalls. I laugh, only now realising he had forgot too.
“It’s y/n.” I reply, before Chris speaks up again.
“Dawg what? Bad enough you’re picking up girls at therapy but you’re telling me you didn’t even get her name before you asked for her number and waited you fucking idiot?” He hisses.
“Chris I am gonna give you two seconds to shut the fuck up before I give you another dig, got it?” Matt asks, rolling his eyes at me as I continue to giggle. Chris gives a little ‘yeah, yeah, whatever scrawny fuck’ before nodding and slowly starting to walk towards the exit, still holding his throbbing side. “Sorry about him. It’s nice to formally meet you y/n.” Matt voices.
“You too, and don’t worry. I think I’ll get used to him.” I beam, prompting him to continue to smile.
“Thaaat’s.. debatable.” He announces, pointing his finger toward me. “But I guess time will tell.”
“I guess it will.” I exclaim.
Our lingering glances at each other are once again interrupted by Chris holding the door open and reaching his hand out in front of him in a questioning manner.
“Hello? Can we get the fuck outta here? It’s hot and I’m itchy. I also need food and pepsi like asap so we’re going somewhere I don’t give a fuck what yall gotta say or what yall do after that.” He shouts.
“Wow he really is like that in person.” I chuckle, as Matt and I start walking toward the exit.
“Just wait till you meet Nick and have to deal with them together gorgeous. I promise you you’re gonna need a lot more therapy after that.”
note: all of my work is completely fictional. i do not know the triplets personally and therefore all characteristics and mannerisms are not an realistic/accurate representation of them or their personalities in real life. i write for fun. there could potentially be mentions of topics that may trigger people, but they will be very vague and will not be in relation to the triplets. i also will not write anything including topics as such involving the triplets. please do not steal any of my work and post it elsewhere. I work hard on what I write. enjoy!
a/n: i need to take a bath in holy water. i am filthy. i am a filthy human being. i’m also a Matt girl but a fucking whore for Chris. also please do not steal my work and post it elsewhere. that’s all love you all.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
As Chris and I stand outside our hotel room, he turns to look at me with a relentless hungry stare. My heart races as my eyes scan his veined hands, tapping the key card and impatiently awaiting the little green light and the beeping sound that signalled the door was unlocked and our much anticipated night of pure raw intimacy was about to commence. I knew in my core I was about to see a different side of Chris tonight; one that was not the usual silly goofy childlike individual or the cocky, arrogant and hostile person I was so very well accustomed to all the time. There was something in his newfound dark and erotic gaze and the tension filled silence between us that screamed maturity and power.
He opens the door and holds it with one hand, motioning me to enter. I duck under his arm and make my way inside, going no further than a few inches as I wait for him to come behind me. After closing the door shut, I feel him inhale deeply, before turning around and snaking his hands around my waist. He presses up against me and I can feel how hard he is. “Babe, I need your consent.” He announces lowly. I turn my shoulder a little to look at him through a side-eye. “You have it.” I reply. His breath is warm on my neck as one of his hands slowly makes its way down my front, coming to a halt as he undos the button and zip on my leather pants. I close my eyes as I feel him extend himself a little, his hand gently making its way into my underwear. I moan a little at his touch, my chest rising and falling rapidly as he plays with my folds a little.
“fuck you’re so wet.” he groans into my ear, his voice raspy and seductive.
“mmphh Chris.” I moan in practically a whisper. His fingers continue to massage me, occasionally brushing over my clit every few seconds and sending waves of electricity through every fibre of my being. I throw my head back a little in pleasure, needing him more than I’ve ever needed someone before. His free hand moves my hair to the side, as he starts trailing my shoulder and neck with wet kisses. I continue to moan, prompting him to take his hand out and quickly place his fingers in his mouth, lubricating them even more with his spit. His hand regains its position down my body momentarily, his fingers sliding in gently as I let out a loud whine.
“uhhuh fuck- Chrisss…” I let out as he goes back and forth, in and out as he picks up the pace. My eyes roll back; his lips tracing me from behind.
“I fucking love it when you call out my name like that.” He sighs, causing me to bite down on my lip hard. I don’t even have time to say anything back as Chris takes his hand out and speaks up again. “Bed. Now.” he demands, sucking on his fingers and switching the lights that had automatically turned on when we entered off, replacing it with a softer vibrance.
The room has a perfect city hotel ambience to it; it’s still a little dark but has a warm glow surrounding us, illuminating each other as the busy streets and skyline buildings highlight the hustle and bustle of the night, even at this hour. The windows are large and drop down to floor level from the ceiling, somewhat still exposing our bodies to the outside world, but not completely. I obey Chris’ order and make my way through the executive suite toward the direction of the bedroom. In front of me when I arrive is a king size bed, the perfect view of the metropolis in front of it. Chris follows behind me, his eyes their usual drowsy self; however they had shifted from a frosty ice blue colour to a somewhat darker shade.
I stand at the end of the bed, awaiting further instruction. Chris makes his way over to me and looks down at me, before bending down and pulling my clothes to my ankles. He motions for me to step out of them, and once I’ve done so, he grabs my arms and pushes me down on the comfortable mattress. I shuffle up a little and watch as he takes his t-shirt off, his arms and torso strong in nature. He runs a hand through his hair, pushing it back briefly and crawls onto the bed in front of me. I gulp a tiny bit as he spreads my legs apart and begins kissing every inch of me. His eyes never leave my face as he does so. Once he reaches the top of my inner thighs, he tilts his head and seeks approval from me. I give a short nod, and he lies down a little, grabbing me by my leg and pulling me towards him. He buries his head down and as soon as I feel his tongue on my pussy, I instantly throw my head back again and arch myself. A loud stream of moans is all that fills the silent room as he circles on my clit and opening, spitting on it here and there.
“mmhmm.. Chris.” I cry out, pleasure washing all over me. I tug at his curly brown hair, unable to contain myself. He doesn’t stop for a second, only shifting a little and reaching his free hand up in front of me to grab. I take his fingers in my own as they intertwine and fall back down on the bed beside me, my other hand clutching at the bed sheets. His tongue flicks and sucking game was so fucking good. He was so fucking good. Chris continues to prowl at me, exploring each and every inch of me. He knew how to bring out the worst in me in the past, but in this moment he absolutely knew how to get the best out of me. After a solid few minutes of Chris eating me out, coming up for air here and there, he stops. Now, it was my turn.
Chris wipes his mouth and moves towards the end of the bed as he watches me get up and walk around to him. I pause and drop down to my knees, his hands outstretched behind him holding himself up. I pull his black cargos and boxers down and they drop to his own ankles. His long, hard, throbbing dick springs free and I suck at my bottom lip, wrapping my hand around it and taking it in my hold. Chris keeps his stare on me, his own eyes closing back and his chin tilting as I begin getting him off. After a few minutes of wanking, Chris parts his lips.
“Suck on it for me like a good girl.” he snarls, his impatience kicking in. And I do as I’m told. I spit on it a few times before licking a stripe up him, and gently sucking on his tip, his precum filling my mouth. I move my mouth down his cock, and begin bobbing up and down as he whimpers in pleasure.
“fuck, oh fuck. that’s a good girl. that’s it, suck on daddy’s dick.” Chris moans in satisfaction as I overstimulate all his senses. He loved the fact I was giving him head in front of a window where the possibility of people from other buildings watching us lay. He places a hand behind my head and closes his eyes, his expression reading one of pure ecstasy. I keep my eyes on him and watch as he looks down at me. I keep going for a solid few minutes, but feeling he’s close, he nudges my shoulder a little and I back off him.
“holy shit that felt so good.” he lets out with a smirk and a small chuckle. We both breathe heavily, but Chris gives me no time to do anything else as he stands up and removes his feet from the clothes on the lower half of his body. He takes my top off me and I turn to let him unclip my bra, something he has done in seconds; after all, he was well accustomed to it, and he absolutely knew his way around a woman’s body. Chris drops my bra to the floor and spins me around, giving us a few minutes to kiss and explore each others mouths with our tongues. My hand runs through his hair, gripping it tightly as he plays with my pussy again. We stay like this for a while, until he turns me back again and holds me by the back of my neck, pushing me toward the window.
“Chris?!” I exhale through my question, though it’s more of a statement than anything. I knew what he was about to do. “people could see us..” I chuckle.
“and what kid? I want them to watch me fuck you hard. I want everyone to hear it too.” he groans, tickling my skin as he breaths on me. He pokes his cheek with tongue, an amused look spread across his face. I roll my eyes and he pulls me close to him, his dick and warm legs pressed against my ass. He wraps my hair around his hand and bends me over, my palm reaching for the window in front of me. He lines his cock up with my hole and I nod as he inserts himself into me, slowly and carefully at first. His initial strokes are gentle and sluggish, hitting my walls and sending tingles down my spine. He starts to pick up the pace a little but remains steady as his hands grip either side of my hips. We both moan an endless stream of curse words as he slides in and out of me. I always knew Chris was a ‘fuck from behind doggy style’ kind of guy, but never in my wildest dreams could have imagined that we’d be doing it given the fact we’re basically foes, let alone in a hotel room at night in front of a bustling city. And I never could have imagined it would feel this fucking good.
“fuck Chris.. go faster.” I breathlessly exclaim, but he stays silent. We keep going for another good few minutes, before I speak up again. “did you..not.. hear me?.. I..said..go..faster.” I cry out. Chris pulls out and continues to stroke himself all in one instant, that cheeky look still etched on his face. “Yea I heard you baby, but if I’m gonna fuck you faster and harder, I want you to watch it.” He smirks, grabbing my throat and roaming my mouth with tongue. He pushes away and turns me to the side a little, my back arching as he gently grabs one of my thighs and pulls my head down. His hand holds my head in place as he leans over me, almost like that infamous Times Square kiss. However what he was about to do was not so much romantic but more so sexy and nasty.
“Open your mouth.” He demands. I once again do as I’m told and he spits into it. I swallow and he guides me back up, taking my hand as he directs us toward the bathroom. Chris flicks on the light switch as I enter and more forcefully this time but still gentle with his touch, he bends me over the sink. I look in the mirror in front of me as he eyes himself placing his dick back at my entrance. He doesn’t wait, instead he slams himself back into me, earning him a loud cry out once again from me.
“oh my fucking god.” I scream out, as he pounds in and out of me. I close my eyes but hear him speak up.
“Eyes open baby girl. Watch Chris fuck you like a slut.” He spits. I peel my eyes open and watch as he looks at me, his hands gripping me as he crashes in and out of me. His dick hits my g spot over and over as we both moan in sync.
“who’s your daddy gorgeous?” He questions as he bites his lips, his gaze not leaving me as I watch in the mirror.
“you are Chris.” I moan out.
“say it again.” He pleads.
“fuck fuck fuck.. you are Chris. Uhughh fuck I’m gonna.. I’m gonna cum!” I scream, reaching my orgasm as he continues to blast my pussy harder and harder.
“good girl.” he exhales before throwing his head back and twisting my hair into a ponytail again. At this point he can’t take it anymore.
“uhuh.. cum for me daddy…” I shout, and with that he does.
“fuck I’m com-I’m comi-…” He breaths out with a sigh, and subsequently I feel him fill me up inside, coating my walls with his thick cum, our bodies laced with sweat. He gently pulls himself out and chuckles breathlessly, running a hand through his hair. Though my legs are shaking, I do my best to turn around and lean against the counter, my hands grasping the sink. I smirk at him, trying to catch my own breath. “Lol I came.” He jokes in a childish little tone, gaining him an eye roll from me.
“yeah I’m aware Chris.” I sigh, laughing as he looks at me with an amused and pleased cocky little expression.
“hey! two minutes ago you were calling me daddy, don’t forget that princess.” He smirks, wiggling his eyebrows at me as he steps closer. I hold my arm with my other hand as he towers over me.
“oh so i’m a princess now? I thought I was just one of the girls.” I tease, as he eyes my lips.
“sorry, I meant to say you’re my princess.” He responds, a smile creeping up on both of our faces.
“oh yeah? so no more being enemies with each other or was that whole ‘I have feelings for you, I don’t actually hate you’ speech just a load of bullshit?” I ask. Chris lifts my chin up with his finger and leans in, planting a soft kiss on my lips.
“no more enemies. but pl-ease, I’m begging you don’t piss me off and keep going on and on about it.” He laughs.
“make me your girlfriend and I’ll keep my mouth sealed.” I say, raising my own brows at him now. “hmm?”
“oh shit I actually have to ask you? I thought you already were my girlfriend now.” He winks, a guilty little look on his face. He had me in the palm of his hands and he knew it.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
taglist: @soursturniolo @cupidsturniolo @daddyslilchickenfingers @s1urnioloslvr @christinarowie332 @urmyslxt @valeriiecameron @littlebookworm803 (sorry if I forgot you!!)
« Fell in love, with my best friend, That’s my wife, that’s my best friend. I will never lie or pretend »
pairing: chris sturniolo x fem!reader
warnings: MAJOR fluff, best friends, possible swearing, just a lil kissing, she/her pronouns.
summary: after Chris gets his heart broken, his best friend comes over to get him out of the house for the day.
note: all of my work is completely fictional. i do not know the triplets personally and therefore all characteristics and mannerisms are not an realistic/accurate representation of them or their personalities in real life. i write for fun. there could potentially be mentions of topics that may trigger people, but they will be very vague and will not be in relation to the triplets. i also will not write anything including topics as such involving the triplets. enjoy!
A/N: nothing really to add here, other than best friends to lovers trope is literally my favourite thing in the world. not proofread and wrote at like 5am so don’t come for me. oh also, i was listening to the song ‘Best Friends 4L’ by YNW Melly&LilTjay.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
If there was one thing I had learnt over the course of Chris and I’s lasting friendship, it was that whenever he was in a bad mood, he made sure to make it everyone’s problem. He had never been extremely good with regulating his emotions, and when thunder struck in the form of this adorable five-foot-eight triplet man with curly brown hair and icy blue eyes, it struck assuredly hard. Ninety-five percent of my days I was met with this funny, enthusiastic, hyperactive human ball of energy, that gave even myself and the rest of the ADHD community a run for its money.
But on the other five percent, Chris was distant and closed off; and if you got in his way, he became utterly argumentative, sometimes ruthless if he really wanted to be. He mostly just isolated himself from everyone, often hiding away in his room and blaring his music as loud as he could, much to Nick and Matt’s misfortune for lack of a better word. They did worry about him from time to time, but knowing their brother was inevitably a ticking time bomb when he was in a mood, they often just left him to his own devices and waited for him to calm down and sneakily try make his way out of his little den to get a Pepsi from the fridge without anyone knowing.
Chris, much like his mother and his brother Matt, was a sensitive soul. When he felt his feelings, he felt them with his entire heart. Which was why this breakup he was currently going through, was hitting harder than ever. It had only been the second relationship Chris had ever been, his first as an adult. Nick and Matt had no clue what to do about him. They had tried everything they could to get him to talk. But he wasn’t doing any of it. He didn’t want to hear what they had to say, mostly because he felt as though they hadn’t experienced it and they just didn’t understand. All he wanted to be left alone to deal with his anger and hurt, which was understandable for the most part. He was heartbroken, and he was grieving. However, he had stopped eating properly, stopped showering and even stopped sleeping. He was slowly getting more and more antisocial. And it was becoming harder and harder to get him to do anything, let alone to try film any videos for their channels.
Eventually Nick had got Laura and Madi to try talk to him, other friends. He had even told Chris to go back to Boston to be with their parents for a bit. But Chris was putting up a fight, and a difficult one at that. I had been away on holiday when Chris’ ex had ended things, and it was only now that I was back in LA that I was starting to realise just how out of hand things had gotten. The first few days upon my return, I had let my best friend be. I did try and engage with him, but I was met with a lot of frustration, an endless stream of curse words, and a bedroom door slammed in my face. I didn’t really take any of it to heart, and though I did have to remind myself a few times of the fun-loving, kind and affectionate angel Chris usually was, I knew he just needed time and space. And we all had to be prepared to give it to him.
Today, I had decided to give it another shot. I was closest with Chris despite our age gap, and if anyone was going to get him out of this forlorn rut he was in, it was me. He needed fresh air, a good meal and a shoulder to cry on, and I was more than prepared to give it to him. Once I arrive at the triplets house, Nick lets me in, a doubtful look on his face as I walk past him into their entrance way.
“It’s not going to worrrk.” He chimes, almost singing the last word of his sentence as he shuts the door behind him. I cross my arms and dart him a look, an unsure smirk on my face.
“Well all I can do is try. And if it doesn’t..” I trail off, sighing in the process.
“Yeah bitch if it doesn’t, we’re fucked.” He announces, shaking his head at the thought. We both chuckle as we make our way up the stairs to the living-room area, and I set my backpack down on the ground near the wall the TV is perched on.
“Alright well, if you hear me a bunch of loud dangerous sounding noises within the next few minutes, just know world war 3 has probably just started and I am in desperate need of your help.” I inhale deeply, as Nick looks at me with an amused expression.
“Girl no- sorry to tell you but I will not be coming to save your ass if shit gets wild down there. Not only do I not want to face the wrath of that little demon child trapped in the gates of hell, but his room literally smells like a massive sweaty armpit mixed with a delightful hint of gone off food filled garbage truck. Call for Matt but by all means do not call me. I need a knight in shining armour sweetheart, I don’t intend on being one.” He retorts, as sassy as ever.
“You’re the best Nick honestly.” I tease, rolling my eyes as I walk towards the stars leading down to Chris’ room.
“I know.” He smiles widely.
“I’ll let you know how it goes.” I raise my eyebrows at him.
“Good Luck! Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He sings out, as I disappear down towards the direction of the bottom floor.
One I reach the bottom step, I take the deepest breath I think I’ve ever taken in my entire life, before knocking lightly on the door. For once, Chris’ room is so silent you could almost hear crickets chirping, and by the sounds of it he had possibly a whole ecosystem growing inside if Nick’s words were anything to go by. While I wait a few minutes, silence continues to linger in the air. I sigh, unsure of what to do, until I hear the tiniest bit of movement. I knock a little more on his door until he speaks up.
“Ughhh whaaaattt?” Chris shouts loudly, sending shivers down my spine as I gulp, my eyes resting on the ceiling as I tilt my head up in preparation for what’s about to commence.
“It’s just me.” Is all I respond.
“Okay well can go be ‘just you’ somewhere else and not annoying the fuck outta me by knocking on my door?” He replies.
“Chris I just came to see how you were.” I say, resting my head against the wood in front of me.
“That’s nice of you and all but I’m great. Better than ever. I don’t need you checking up on me. Now can you please fuck off?” He groans, and I debate on whether or not to continue to press on him and follow through with my plan.
“You need to come out of there some day you know?” I state, potentially adding more fuel to the fire.
“Well today is not that day.” He shouts, earning him an eye roll he can’t even see.
“Chris please. Let me come in. We don’t even have to talk if you don’t want to. Just get yourself a shower and I’ll tidy up a bit. You can even play your music as loud as you want, even if it bursts my fucking ear drums.” I remark, gritting my teeth and mumbling the last part. I expect to be turned down straight away, until I hear Chris shuffle towards the door and unlock it. He opens it swiftly, before scurrying away back into his room, not even bothering to look at me.
“There you fucking happy now? I don’t understand why you all can’t just lea-” he groans even louder this time, before I cut him off. I enter into the almost pitch black space and turn on the light switch.
“Leave you alone? Because we care about you. I care about you. You’re my best friend. And like it or not you’re just gonna have to deal with it.” I huff, my eyes scanning what could only be compared to a dungeon. “Kid I know you’re going through it and all but holy fuck dude, this place is like a peasants quarters. You’d have a nicer stay in a prison cell than in here.”
Chris sits on the end of his bed in defeat, giving me a death glare as he looks up from under his chin. He stays quiet, mentally planning my funeral.
“Fuck outta here kid.” He croaks, coughing his little lungs up like the sticky little iPad kid he is. “Dumbass.” He mutters under his breath, looking around at the floor.
“I’ve missed hearing your voice and you calling me that you know.” I smile, resting myself against his desk. He huffs back in response, his eyes coming back up to meet me, his cold stare still the same.
“I don’t need your pity if that’s what you’ve came here for.” He spits back, reminding me of his hate for sympathy when it came to himself.
“And who said I was planning on giving it to you? You’re special in some ways Christoper Owen don’t get me wrong, but not that special.” I smirk, obviously joking but I knew it would raise his spirits. He tries his hardest not to smirk, but I see the corners of his mouth curl up a tiny bit.
“Go take a shower and I’ll clean this place up. You look like a mess and a e’re going out today so I cannot have you in this state.” I inform him, pointing in the direction of his en suite.
“No.” He answers, running a hand through his hair.
“I wasn’t asking Chris.” I smile at him, crossing my arms. He continues to eye me up and down, but his demeanour softens. His eyes are sad, and it breaks my heart. He sighs, standing up and making his way toward his bathroom knowing he won’t win this game with me. “Thank youuu.” I sing, as he closes the door behind him.
・❥・
Once Chris is out of the shower and dressed, I send him upstairs to chill out for a bit whilst I continue making headway on cleaning his room. When I say this man is a literal child heartbreak or not, I mean it. But given the circumstances, I was willing to look past it for as long as it took for him to come back to himself. When I’m finished, I make my way up to him to find him sat on the couch, his laptop on his knees and his phone beside him. He continues to be silent, his hood of his hoodie placed over his head.
“Bro you know what you remind me of?” I question, gaining his attention. “The fucking Guinea pigs I used to own when I was younger. I used to have to take them out of their cage and place them in a box or their playpen whilst I cleaned out their stinky ass cage.”
I plop down beside him on the sofa, resting my head against his shoulder, almost out of breath. He simply turns his head a little to look at me through a side eye, and I glance up at his face. His expression can only be compared to a brick wall. “That being said though, I did love my guineapigs. They were actually really cute.” I pout a little and smirk, earning me a smile back. I had missed this Chris so much. He rests his head against my own and continues to watch the music video of the song he was listening to, as I clutch my hands against his arm.
“I know you probably don’t feel like it, but I’m taking you out for the day. And don’t worry, I promise you it’s nowhere she’ll be.” I speak out softly. The reply I was expecting and the reply I got couldn’t have been more different from each other.
“Okay.” He mumbles back gently, and I breathe a sigh of relief.
・❥・
The car journey to the secret location I have planned for mine and Chris’ day out starts off muted, until Chris, who has his head practically glued to the passenger window, speaks up.
“Can I play my playlist?” he asks, and I nod back. He goes through a few songs from various different artists, honourable mentions of course including Lil Skies, Travis Scott, Dominic Fike etc. The next song to come on as I pull up to a stop light is ‘Best Friend 4L’ by YNW Melly and Lil Tjay. I stare at the road and the cars in front of me, as Chris listens intently to the music, his head rested against the door. I rub my eyes as he continues to stare at me, causing me to turn to him with a confused and slightly freaked out look on my face.
“kid what?” I ask, my eyes going back and forth between him and the road as I press down on the accelerator again.
“nothing.” he murmurs, shaking his head and shifting his gaze away from me to his phone. “where are we going?” he questions.
“To the aquarium down at long beach.” I smile, awaiting his reaction. Kid adored aquariums and zoos, basically anywhere that had lots of animals he could point out and somewhere to get ice cream. And I did too. It was our safe place to go together. And he needed this right now. His eyes light up at the mention of it, the old Chris slowly but surely appearing to come back.
“wait for real? swear down bruh. don’t play with me.” he interrogates, his eyes looking in each direction of a window to see where exactly the car was moving to.
“I swear.” I chuckle, and a smile spreads across his face. As a good few more minutes pass by, we eventually arrive at our destination. I park the car and we get out, his hand clutching to my wrist as he hurries me to the entrance like a little kid. Once inside, we pay and finally start exploring. Thankfully, the aquarium wasn’t too busy today despite its location, and there’s very few people roaming around.
I watch as Chris perks up, excitedly making his way around each and every tank possible and uttering an adorable “hey look at all the fishies” or “holy fuck that’s big” here and there. I smile as we stop in front of a wall tank full of sharks, the room we’re in lit up with blues and greens, tranquil and undisturbed. His eyes glisten as he looks on at them swimming around and my heart swells. I stand beside him, his smile ever so evident. It’s been too long since I’ve saw it, I just want to stay in this moment forever.
“Sharks are so sick.” He announces.
“Yeah they are.” I reply softly. He keeps his eyes on them as we stand quietly observing.
“Do you think they have feelings? Like, do they ever feel bad about attacking people?” he asks, his eyes dropping to the ground in front of him. I sigh, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“Oh Chris.” I cry, my eyes trying to scan his innocent face. I knew full well what he was referring to in this moment. He wasn’t talking about sharks. He was talking about his ex.
“I just don’t understand why bro. I did everything right, but she just didn’t give a fuck. She just used me. I’m over her now but I’m just not over it.” He lets out. My heart shatters for him in this moment.
“It’s gonna take time Chris. But just know that she didn’t deserve you. She never did and never will. I don’t know jack shit about sharks. But I do know that they can’t differentiate between human or fish when they smell blood and attack. All they see is food. And unfortunately, that’s probably all she saw, money and clout. I never liked her, and you knew that from jump. She didn’t care about who you are. How fucking incredibly funny and talented and good looking you are. How charming, and actually smart you are.” I chuckle, as his chin lifts up and his eyes meet my own, his face full of vulnerability.
“It’s her loss. And you know that and I know that and everybody knows that. She won’t get to see your eyes light up when you’re excited like I get to anymore. She won’t get to experience your obnoxiously loud singing in the car or your never ending questions whenever we watch a movie. Or you complaining all the time that you’re too itchy and you coming over to my house and staying a week at a time because you’re fighting with Matt or Nick or there’s no pepsi left at home and you’re too lazy to buy no re. How you’re a complete and utter mommas boy even if you say you’re not. She won’t get to go to any concerts with you, or hockey games. She won’t get to appreciate your jokes and your infectious laugh and how your eyes crease a little when you smile. She won’t get to have you as her best friend, having you ask her to drive you everywhere because you haven’t got your licence yet or you falling asleep in her bed and cuddling into her because you supposedly forgot to hit send on the message to Matt asking him to come pick you up on his way home everytime but it’s actually just that you can’t be bothered to move your ass. She won’t get to love you, and it’s her loss.” I say, biting my bottom lip, tears falling from my eyes.
“alright kid you could have just said you’re in love with me and saved yourself that whole big ass speech.” He teases, smirking like there’s no tomorrow.
“fuck you, see this is why I’m not nice to you very often. I was just tryna boost your massive ego up again, y’know?” I shake my head as I smile, pushing him a little. He grabs my hands and pulls me into him.
“I’m kidding I’m kidding.” He laughs, embracing me in a hug. He nestles his head into my shoulder, closing his eyes as he squeezes me tightly. “thank you, for everything. You’re my ride or die for life, for real bruh.” he whispers.
“Of course Chris, anytime. I’m here for life, for real bruh.” I whisper back, repeating his last words. As we break apart, I expect him to let me go fully, but instead he cups my cheek, his eyes scanning my face going between my own eyes and my lips. “Chris-“ I begin but he cuts me off.
“Dude shut the fuck up you’re gonna ruin the moment.” He rolls eyes slightly.
“Chris what do you me-?” I try to speak again but he cuts me off once more, this time with his lips pressed against my own. The kiss is soft, but passionate. I look at him confused but happy as we break away.
“you’re a fuckin’ player you know that Chris Sturniolo?” I tease, blushing a shade of pink.
“not anymore kid. I’m retiring.” he winks.
“oh yeah and why’s that kid?” I ask, raising my brows at him.
“probably because i’ve just realised.. ‘I’m in looove with my best friend.’” he sings referring to the song we had been listening to in the car before arriving here. He beams at me, his little face proud as punch.
“Okay you’re insane Chris!” I state before he draws me back in meet his lips again.
« Do I wanna know, If this feeling flows both ways? Sad to see you go, Was sorta hoping that you'd stay. Baby, we both know, That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day, crawling back to you »
pairing: Chris Sturniolo x fem!reader.
warnings: breakup/makeup trope, angst, swearing, making out, smut so minors&locals dni, dom and sub Matt, she/her pronouns, use of y/n.
summary: in which the reader is Matt’s ex girlfriend who he’s still in love with and can’t keep his hands off.
note: all of my work is completely fictional. i do not know the triplets personally and therefore all characteristics and mannerisms are not an realistic/accurate representation of them or their personalities in real life. i write for fun. there could potentially be mentions of topics that may trigger people, but they will be very vague and will not be in relation to the triplets. i also will not write anything including topics as such involving the triplets. enjoy!
a/n: i’m warning yall now, if you have a problem with what i write, please simply scroll or block me. the triplets are not gonna quit over my shitty little blog posts because they contain smut, i promise you they don’t come here on tumblr and they certainly don’t gaf. i’m an adult, they are adults, i can write what i want about them. and i fucking triple dare you all to try doxx me etc because I promise you will meet your match when it comes to me on god lmao. end of story.
also Matt and Arctic Monkeys sends me fucking feral sorry
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‘Five Minutes, that’s all it’ll take’, I think to myself as I stand outside the triplets house, trying my absolute hardest to muster up the courage to text Nick that i’m outside standing like an idiot, as I watch my Uber driver pull away. Our friendship had become somewhat strained ever since Matt and I broke up exactly two weeks ago. Understandably, as it is his brother and their relationship with each other came first before anything else. But it was inconsolably frustrating; after all I was inevitably losing a boyfriend and three great friends all at the same time. Nick had repeatedly told Matt to grow up and stop being so selfish because he didn’t want to lose me as a friend, considering he and I were extremely close and had a very strong bond. But Matt being ever so Matt really, really didn’t give a fuck. Instead, he was being brutally harsh; putting Nick in a very awkward and uncomfortable situation, not to mention heartbreaking for both of us. He wanted to challenge Nick’s unwavering loyalty to him, and despite Nick’s efforts to have him compromise, Matt was having none of it.
The breakup, unlike Matt and his ex before me’s breakup, was not a mutual decision, nor something that was left on amicable terms. Matt broke up me, shock horror, but not because I had done anything wrong in particular. It was merely down to the fact Matt had said he wasn’t feeling it anymore, but instead of my usual pleading for anyone to stay with me, I had grown up and accepted his decision to walk away. But this, like any man, made Matt’s blood boil. He couldn’t understand why I wasn’t putting up a fight, but I laid my cards out on the table and told him that if he wasn’t willing to fight for the relationship we had built, I wasn’t either. Trust me when I say choosing between my head and my heart was not an easy decision. It took everything in me to put my maturity and self-respect above my feelings. But I had learnt my lesson from my previous experiences, and I felt it only right for Matt to learn his. So I took the high road, and came to terms with it with the help of Nick and Madi, even Chris texting me here and there, reminding me that it was Matt that had lost out. I’ve still cried endlessly ever since, but he had made his decision, and that was it.
The sun shone in LA as I nervously bit my lip, swaying back and forth as I waited for Nick to arrive in front of me. I kept my head down, anxiously tapping on Instagram stories that appeared on my phone as a form of distraction. After a few minutes of waiting, the front door of the house swung open, however the person I was met with was not in fact Nick. It was Matt, giving me his usual cold, hard and intimidating stare. His eyes bore into my soul and I had never felt so numb in my entire life. I stayed silent, not out of choice but rather because I couldn’t even begin to form a word let alone a sentence.
“What?” he asked, his demeanour beyond unwelcoming. I gain some sort of composure and decide on replying back with any form of fake confidence I could find in this moment.
“Oh spare me the ‘mattitude’ alright? I’m here to see Nick. He has some of my shit and I came to get it back.” I give him a relentless and sarcastic smirk, which is met with an unappeased scoff. He hated the use of that word, even more so coming out of my mouth and especially given the circumstances.
“That’s insane, and I think you mean I have some of your shit, not Nick sweetheart.” he retorts, tongue in cheek as he eyes me up and down.
“Whatever, can you just fucking give them to me so I can go please? I have shit to do today.” I respond, his face as unsympathetic as ever.
“Shit to do or people to do? Actually, do I even wanna know?” He chuckles ever so slightly, amusement over his matched sarcasm etched upon his face.
“Well you must do considering you’re asking about it, but no Matt, even though it’s none of your business now, believe it or not I don’t actually have a roster already lined up. Though given the fact you broke it off with me, I doubt you can say the same, but do I wanna know about that either?.” I spit back at him.
He stands taken aback my words, and this facade of boldness i’m daring to present to him. Though Matt always knew I could hold my own, and of my ability to retaliate and reciprocate his attitude, he was still surprised in this moment, all things considered. I was sure Nick had told him how heartbroken I was, which is probably an indicating factor to his shock.
“You always were a brat, you know that?” he asks, licking his lips as he rests his head against his arm, hanging assertively as he holds the door. I’d be lying if I said that despite his stone-heartedness during this entire angsty interaction so far, I wasn’t thinking about how fucking unbelievably hot he was in this moment.
“What can I say? I knew what I was getting in for when I started dating you. I had to put up with you somehow. They say you can’t fight fire with fire but we always did disagree with that, didn’t we Matthew?” I remarked smugly, earning nothing but an embarrassed smirk and a little shake of the head from him. “Anyways, can I get my shit please?” I speak up again. He sighs, before nodding and responding.
“Kid you’re so demanding.” He rolls his eyes, standing aside so that I can enter into the house.
“Yeah yeah kid, just be thankful I’m not demanding a whole lot more.” I reply, as he shuts the door behind me.
“Oh yeah? And what would you be demanding if you had it your way?” He practically whispers seductively in my ear, causing my body to tense up and my heart rate to increase. The answer was simple. Him. I take a deep breath before answering back.
“Well, I can’t tell you now can I? Considering you’re not my boyfriend anymore.” I say, staring at the stairs in front of me, my chest rising and falling rapidly his breath warm on my skin as my breathing begins to spiral out of control.
“Damn, that’s a shame.” he mumbles, his hand resting on my lower back above my ass. He lingers for a few seconds longer before making his way up the stairs, flashing me a quick wink in the process. As soon as he gets to the top of the stairs, he motions for me to come up. Upon reaching the top step, I watch as he walks through the kitchen toward his room, leaving me confused. Nick had said my things had been left in his room, so I couldn’t understand why Matt was going in the direction he was.
“Where are you going?” I enquire, as I start to follow him.
“To get your shit dumbass.” He shouts a little, disappearing into the doorway. Once I arrive at the frame of the door, I rest my head against it and furrow my brows.
“Yeah but why’s it in your room? I thought Nick said he had left it in his room, after all he was the one who was supposed to be giving them back to me?” I interrogate, as I watch him gather the two bags containing my things inside of them off the bed.
“Yeah well you thought wrong kid. They were in Nick’s room but I took them back off him and left them here. He knew you’d be coming over today but had a last minute meeting with Laura and he’s staying with Madi tonight, so I told him I’d hold onto them and when you got here I’d give them to you.” He explains, making his way towards me. He stops in front of me and stretches out his hand, holding the bags out for me to take. I quickly retrieve them from him and clutch them to my chest.
“So why didn’t Nick call or text to tell me he was going to be out? A heads up would have been nice.” I sigh.
“Aw what, is my little y/n not happy to see me.” he teases once again.
“i’m not yours anymore bro. and no actually, come to think of it I’m not.” I vocalise.
“you’re a terrible liar.” he comments smugly, rolling his eyes again.
“and you are too.” I return the statement.
“oh yeah? and how’s that?” he quizzes, a smile growing across his face, his cheeks now flushed red with slight embrassement as he steps closer toward me, the gap between us now almost non-existent.
“because you and I know both know Nick wouldn’t put me in a position like this unless you had something to do with it. I know you only took them off him so that you had an excuse to see me.”
“you’re not wrong there princess.” he replies, brushing a few strands of my hair behind my ear. His thumb comes down to meet my bottom lip, pulling it down as he tilts his head at me. I watch as he does so, before looking back up at him.
“you hate calling me that.” I give a small half-smile back.
“wow, that’s two things you’ve got right today, look at you on a roll. And yea, I do hate calling you it, but I know you love it when I do.” He announces as he licks his lips, biting down on the bottom one. “and just so you know, I don’t have a roster either. There’s only one person and one person only on my mind. And that’s you.”
I shift my gaze down to the ground, a single tear falling from my eye. Matt notices this, and automatically his expression turns to one of confusion and concern. He lifts my chin up so that I’m looking at him again, the soft and caring Matt returning.
“Hey, hey? What’s wrong?” He asks, shaking his head with a sad look etched on his face.
“what do you think, idiot?” I snap, swatting his hand away, but he catches it and intertwines his fingers with my own. I lift my head and eyes up in the direction of the ceiling in attempt to not let anymore tears falls out, but I’m unsuccessful and they begin to stream down my face in full flow, my cheeks becoming flushed and nose stinging a little.
“hey, don’t cry. please don’t cry. I’m sorry, I really wasn’t trying to upset you. Just please don’t waste your tears on me. Please.” he croaks, a pleading look in his eyes.
“Well it’s kind of hard not to when the man I love ended things with me and I’m now standing in his room hearing him tell me he’s still only thinking about me and there’s nothing I can do about whilst he flirts with me and touches me. That shit hurts Matt. I’m still heartbroken and you know it even if I’m putting on a brave front and acting like I’m not. I don’t know what kind of fucking game you’re playing but it’s not funny. It’s fucked up.” I cry out, closing my eyes as my heart aches.
“Shh I know alright? Trust me I know. And I’m sorry okay? Look, you’re right. I did take your shit back off Nick, but only because I miss you, so fucking much and.. because I didn’t know if this was going to be the last time I was ever gonna see you again, even if we live in LA and it’s so easy to run into everybody. Nick didn’t text you or call you to tell you he wouldn’t be here because I begged him not to. We both knew if he did you wouldn’t have came. You would have avoided me and put off getting your stuff for another week. And I didn’t want that. I needed to talk to you.” He cries back. I stay silent, unsure of what to say, think or do. I wait for him to continue, wiping my tears with my hoodie sleeve and sniffling. Eventually he speaks up again.
“Kid, I fucked up okay. And I know I did. I honestly don’t know what I was thinking. And I’m sorry. I truly fucking am. I thought I was making the right call, but I wasn’t. I know what I want and it’s you. It’s only ever going to be you. I don’t expect you to forgive me, nor do I expect you to take me back. But I just need you to know that, my heart still belongs to you and only you. I promise you that. I don’t know if you feel the same as I do but, I need to know if your heart is still open for me.” I scan his face and see the sincerity and vulnerability written across it. I’m hurt, but I know he is too. His eyes plead with me, praying that I say yes before the word has even left my mouth.
“do you love me Matt?” I clear my throat and question, my head pounding and my chest aching.
“yes. a million times yes. so fucking much.” he voices, tears evidently falling down his own face. He watches as I take a deep breath, silently nodding. “I know I don’t deserve it, but is there any part of you that could give me another chance?”
I look up at him before answering, debating on what to say. He should have never put himself in a position to lose me in the first place, but he loved me. And I loved him. And he really was trying to make amends.
“yea.” I whisper with a sad pout and another little nod back, as he reaches out his arms and engulfs me in a hug. His arms rest across my shoulders as I cling to his waist. I feel him bury his head into my hair, his tears dampening and staining my neck, soft and warm like summer rain. “thank you.” he mumbles quietly against my skin, half thanking me and half thanking God or some other higher power.
“don’t ever fucking let me go again, Matt promise me please.” I whimper into him. One of his hands holds the back of my head, the other pulling me in tighter. “I won’t. I promise I won’t ever let myself lose you again.” he responds, pulling away and resting his forehead against my own.
・❥・
As I sit in Matt's car on the way back to my house, the atmosphere inside the vehicle is charged with an unspoken tension. He was giving me a lift home, which I was grateful for given the fact I hadn’t drove today and it meant I didn’t have to get another Uber. The outside world was switching off as the darkness of the night closed in, the only light coming from other cars and the amber lampposts. On arrival to the first stop light of the journey, I could feel his hand which had been resting on my thigh, slowly and gently working it’s way up my leg. His touch sends a shiver down my spine, as he glances across at me with that familiar deadpan stare. As soon as the car starts moving again, I look down at his veins, before turning back to him.
"Matt, pull over." I request firmly. He continues to exchange brief glimpses between my face and the road, his hand trailing up further.
“Huh? Why?" he teases, his voice accompanying his fingers sending shocks of electricity through my core. He knew what he was doing. My eyes fill with a mix of desire and determination as I reply, "Just do it."
The car comes to a complete stop as we pull up at a secure location, hidden across from a closed Walmart’s carpark. Classy, I know. But I needed him, so fucking bad. And I couldn’t wait until we had got back to my place. He turns the key in the ignition and the engine turns off, awaiting further instruction from me. He rests his head against the headrest, his face turning to meet me. I unbuckle my seatbelt and before he has the chance to do the same, I press down and release him from the black ribbed harness. He adjusts himself in his seat and folds his arms, biting down on his lip.
“are you sure about this?” he asks, looking for my confirmation.
“de tout mon cœur, mon amour,” I whisper, affirming I’m absolutely up for this, trailing a finger along his sharp jawline.
“fuck I love it when you talk French to me.” he growls back, as I learn forward and he places a kiss on my lips. I kick my converse off and hold his shoulders as I climb into the drivers seat onto of his lap. I tug a little at his hair as I place myself down on top of him, feeling him grow underneath me. As I reach my free hand down to palm him through his grey sweatpants, he lets out a soft moan. “shit, baby.” he snarls, as I grind against him, his dick getting bigger by the second. He takes control by leaving one of his hands snaked around my back, the other grabbing my hair as he connects our mouths together, our tongues intertwining, tasting each other as if our lives depended on it.
“Fuck me Matt.” I let out breathlessly in between our make out. He pulls me back in and moans into my mouth.
“Say please and I will.” He responds, grabbing my throat gently with a little pressure applied. His hand that had been around my waist falls underneath us both and it finds itself down my own sweatpants, his fingers gently feeling my folds, quickly becoming laced with my fluids. “fuck you’re so wet gorgeous.” he smirks, his voice low and seductive. This turns him on even more.
“please daddy.” I moan again, his lips leaving trails of wet kisses along my neck and my collar bones. He inserts two fingers softly inside me, before speaking up again. “say it again.” he demands, his lips coming back up to meet my own as our tongues twirl around hungry for each other.
“ughh fuck, please Matt.” I beg, whimpering as his fingers speed up. I throw my head back as his hand continues to grip my throat with his strong tattooed arm, pleasure washing over me. This urges him to stop, and within minutes, he pulls his hand out from under me, prompting me to move off of him so that he can pull down his pants, freeing his long, hard cock springing out. He begins wanking himself off, his silver rings shining in the darkness. He watches as I remove my own pants, and before I can remove my black laced thong, he grabs my arm.
“babe, leave it on.” he requests, his eyes like a knife cutting into my soul. I do as he says, and position myself back straddling his lap. I move my right hand round to the back of his head, holding onto it as the other rests on his shoulder. We continue to make out for another few minutes before Matt moves his dick to my entrance.
“you’re definitely sure about this?” he checks again, seeking an answer exact to my previous one. As much as me speaking French turned him on, bless his soul he didn’t really understand a word of it.
“makeup sex with my boyfriend in his car? I promise i’m one hundred percent fucking sure.” I nod, as he sets himself at my entrance. He smiles seductively as he teases me, my eyes rolling back into my head. He licks the palm of his hand, his spit acting as lube as brings it down underneath himself. I give him another little nod of approval, and as our mouths connect again to move in sync, he places himself inside me. His arms wrap around my back and neck, the one on my back moving down so that it’s grabbing my ass cheek. We rock back and forth together, moaning each other’s names any chance we get. He trusts in and out of me, deep and fast. We continue, as my hips grind into him.
“fuck, awh fuck baby.” he whimpers, clearly getting stimulated more and more by the minute.
“Matt, fuck. Keep going, faster. Just like that.” I practically shout through moans. The car begins to steam up, and as I feel as though I’m about to reach my orgasm, my hand presses against the window, embroidering a sweaty print into it. “Fuck baby, je viens, je vie- oh shit, oh my fucking god.” I scream, his member continuously hitting my g-spot over and over. He pulls me in towards him, his tongue exploring every aspect of my face. I can sense he’s getting closer himself, and as my walls clutch around him, he pushes me off him and pulls out.
“what the fuck Matt?” I exclaim, confusion spread across my face.
“get in the back princess.” He instructs, and I take a deep breath before once again doing as he says. The smell of sex lingers in the air, a scent I usually hated but in the this moment it was the best fucking thing in the entire world. He climbs over the centre console and immediately pushes me down across on the back seats, spreading legs apart. He slams himself inside me again and continues to fuck me, my thighs shaking as I pull on his hair. The faster and deeper he goes, the more I moan. He places a hand just below my stomach, feeling himself thrust in and out. My free hand grasps the door handle behind me, as I throw my head back in pure ecstasy.
“yeah you like that baby? does that feel good?” he groans, his hand coming down to grip my throat again.
“mhmm.” I let out softly, almost crying in pleasure.
“good girl. I love it when you take all of daddy’s dick.” he responds.
I feel myself coming close again, and as I do I tighten myself around him. I release everywhere, spraying both Matt and the back of the car, which causes him to pound into me.
“aww, fuck I’m about to cum.” he pants, his own release imminent.
“come for me.” I breathe out, and once the words have parted ways with my lips, I feel him fill up inside me.
・❥・
A few minutes of heavy breathing and small chuckles fill the back of the car as I rest my head against Matt’s chest. He wraps his arm around me, kissing my forehead over and over.
“Holy fuck that was good.” He smiles, the rise and fall of his chest and his heart beat against my ear.
“Mhm.” I smile back, as he lifts my chin and pulls me up to kiss him. He notices the handprint on the window and the liquid covered drivers seat.
“Kid when the fuck did you do that?” He shakes his head, emphasising the ‘fuck’ as he does so.
“Bout a half hour ago maybe.” I smirk, as he rolls his eyes. I lean forward and trace a love heart with my finger on the window beside the handprint.
“you really love leaving your mark, huh?” he raises his brows.
“gotta let your brothers know I’m back somehow. Good luck explaining the back of your seat and the smell though.” I tease, earning a chuckle from him as I laugh.
“I hate you.” he mutters under his breath.
“Oh give up Matty, you love me.” I wink at him. “After all you did come crawling back to me.”
“Not that I’m ever gonna put myself in a position to lose you again like I said, but in every lifetime I’d always coming crawling back to you. Especially when the sex is that good.” He jokes, earning a slap on the shoulder from me.
“Fuck you.” I laugh, him doing the same, uncontrollably might I add.
“You just did.” He remarks, leaving another trail of kisses against my neck as I shake my head and smirk.
warnings: a lil angst, swearing, making out, sexually suggestive but not smut (trigger warning), enemies to lovers trope kinda??, she/her pronouns, that’s it I think?!
summary: in which Chris has a lyrical lemonade event to go to and resorts to inviting the reader, friends with Nick and Madi and someone he doesn’t particularly get along with, as his plus one.
note: all of my work is completely fictional. i do not know the triplets personally and therefore all characteristics and mannerisms are not an realistic/accurate representation of them or their personalities in real life. i write for fun. there could potentially be mentions of topics that may trigger people, but they will be very vague and will not be in relation to the triplets. i also will not write anything including topics as such involving the triplets. enjoy!
a/n: i actually don’t really like this at all and I kinda wanna write smut so bad but I do not wanna get my head bitten off by all of y’all so idk. maybe part 2 maybe fucking not.
« We don't gotta be in love, no, I don't gotta be the one, no
I just wanna be one of your girls tonight »
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The flickering neon signs of the room Chris and I stood in casted eerie shadows on the walls; the noise of artists, crew and other guests who were now also backstage quickly becoming deafening. I couldn't help but feel not only anxious but completely out of place, not to mention a mere afterthought and a last-minute addition to Chris’ plans. It was Matt who was originally meant to stand here beside him, but because he felt ill, Chris had resorted to inviting me, merely because I shared the same music taste as him and his brother and he had no one else to go ask.
Chris and I never fully saw eye to eye. We weren’t so much enemies or foes, but we never really got on either, in vast comparison to my friendships with Nick and Madi; even Matt. The easiest way to put it is, Chris didn’t like me, or so he claimed. Not for any particular reason that any of us could pinpoint, but I guess he had his idea of me and I eventually formed my own idea of him. Yet here I was somewhat hiding beside him, my hand doing its best to not grasp his arm and cling to him as a wave of people drinking and smoking crashed into me.
The incessant pulse of the bass resonated through my chest, as my heart pounded, and I couldn't help but wonder if my presence here was Chris just using me so that he didn’t have to experience this night alone, or if it was secretly a desperate act of consolation. As the music and shouting intensified, I found myself torn between the yearning to connect with Chris and his friends in this moment, and the undeniable feeling of being an outsider in his world. I loved this music, no questions asked, but this whole backstage with rappers scene was very much new to me.
As yet another tall, heavily tattooed guy tries his best to push past me, I brush against Chris and almost find myself in against his chest. The man, who was visibly very drunk and high, turns back towards us and raises his hands up in defence, uttering a quick ‘sorry’ before continuing on his way to the other side of the room. I simply give a small and frail smile, before Chris looks at me from the side.
“yo, you good?” he asks, biting his bottom lip as his chest rises and falls.
“yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” I reply, nodding a little in reassurance.
Chris nods back briefly, and before he has time to look, another guy with grillz and dark shades approaches us. It was a friend of Lil Skies, someone well-acquainted with Chris. He claps Chris on the back and flashes a smile, then turns to me with a playful smirk. "Yo Chris, what’s good g? What’d you think of the show man?” he questions, his eyes going back and forth between us both. Chris smiles before answering. “It was sick bro, so so sick. Thanks for inviting us.” he responds, placing his hands together as though he’s praying, clearly grateful for the opportunity. I zone out, lost in thought as I stare at the ground.
“Love bro, anytime man. Skies wanted you here so we knew we had to get you to come thru you feel me? Anyways, you his girlfriend, friends with benefits, baby mama? Where y’all at?" the guy exclaims, his voice carrying over the music. I snap back to reality upon realisation that he’s talking to me, a blush creeping onto my cheeks as Chris looks at me awkwardly. He stutters, trying to explain our rather unique circumstance, eventually just labelling me as ‘one of the girls’. The guy however, seems to ignore Chris, unfazed by his attempt at an explanation, and extends a friendly hand towards me. "Aight well, it's nice to meet you, 'girlfriend' or not. Glad y’all enjoyed the show. I’ll catch you guys in a bit." he smirks, patting Chris on the shoulder once again, and with a knowing wink he vanishes back into the corridor, leaving Chris and me to exchange an awkward and bemused glance amidst the swirling sea of music and lights. I take another sip of my drink and hold my arm with my free hand, nodding my head a little to the song that’s playing. Chris greets more people and engages in conversation with them, whilst I rest against a wall, checking my phone for absolutely nothing other than distraction.
After what seems like an eternity, Chris finally turns back around to find that he’d drifted away from me, almost to the other side of the room. He makes his way over toward me, words resting on the tip of his tongue.
“you wanna leave?” he asks, noticing my uncomfortable presence in the room.
“up to you.” I mumble back, locking my phone and sighing before shrugging my shoulders.
“kid I’m asking you. do you wanna leave or not?” he rolls his eyes, a stern look etched upon his face.
“we can stay if you wanna, you’re having a good time.” I answer back, looking up at him.
“I mean I was but, you’re being boring and sitting there with a sour look on your face so, we can go if you want to. Just say the word and we’ll leave.” He announces.
I debate on my next words, unsure as to whether I should speak up or not. I impulsively let the question fall from my lips.
“why am I here Chris? Seriously why’d you ask me to come?”
“Oh so what? You’re being ungrateful now. What did you not enjoy it?”
“I did Jesus, I’m not being ungrateful. I actually had a good time the concert was sick you know I love Skies and this music. It’s just this whole backstage rapper thing isn’t really my scene and I guess it’s even harder to even try and enjoy myself given the circumstances and the nature of our..”
“our what?” he questions, raising his eyebrows all while still giving me that cold stare.
“I don’t know, whatever we are.” I retort, turning my gaze away from him.
“Riighht.” he reacts almost sarcastic in tone.
“Whatever, you know what I’m talking about Chris don’t play fucking dumb.” I snap, standing up from my position against the wall. He chuckles momentarily, letting air through his nose.
“we’re friends are we not?” he teases, a smirk plastered across his face.
“fuck you kid.” I blurt out, rolling my own eyes in the process, attempting to walk away.
“hold up.” he shouts, reaching his hand out to pull me back by my arm. “Look first of all, i’m playin with you. Second, we’re not having this conversation here alright? We can talk about it back at the hotel.” he vocalises.
“let go of me Chris.” I utter as I gulp hard, our bodies inches apart. My breath rate increases, as his eyes focus on my own. I shrug him off me as his grip on my wrist loosens. His gaze softens, a vulnerable look on his face. I pull my puffer jacket from where it had been resting on the ground and throw it over my arm, my handbag over my shoulder as I attempt to walk away for a second time and make my way past the people in the large room. Once I get through, I begin to wander down the long corridor, searching for an ‘exit’ sign and a way out. My seeking comes to a halt and I’m stopped in my tracks, as Chris catches up to me, his now familiar grasp on my arm, pulling me back.
“bro, where are you going?” he sighs, pushing me against a cold bricked wall ever so slightly. His free hand finds its place above my shoulder beside my head, as he leans over me.
“home. I’m going home Chris.” I exhale, his eyes going back and forth between my own and my lips.
“look at least let me leave with you.” he pleads.
“no.” I reply and with in an instant, Chris has opened a door and pulled me inside to an empty room, one we certainly had no business being in. My breath becomes hitched as Chris pants heavily. He closes the door behind him and locks it, the green LED lights around the ceiling illuminating his soft skin. He leans against the door, stopping me from getting out.
“Chris-” I start to speak up again, but he interrupts me.
“Holy fuck you’re annoying, you know that? Just shut the fuck up for a minute. Look if you’re not gonna wait until we get back to hotel, then just hear me out here alright? I know what you’re talking about. And just so you know, I didn’t invite you just because Matt couldn’t make it and I didn’t have anyone else. I invited you because you like this music and I didn’t wanna bring someone who has no interest, and yeah I could have came alone but.. I actually wanted you here. I wanted to share this experience with you. I know I’ve been a dick, but I was hoping tonight we could air some of that shit out. It’s fucked up and it doesn’t need to be. Please..” he sighs, a begging look in his eye. I don’t attempt to talk again, instead I just let him continue. He pushes himself off the door and makes his way over to me, halting as he gets a few inches away. He brushes a strand of hair from behind my ear and tilts his head, giving me a gentle and comforting look. “I don’t hate you. I don’t even actually dislike you. I..”
“wait what, I’m confus-“ I pronounce, before I’m cut off again.
“I fucking have feelings for you. There I said it. I was just being a dumbass, acting like a child pretending I don’t like you just to hide how I feel. Eventually I did start to resent you a little, well, not resent you, but everything you did just pissed me off so bad, even being in your presence, because I wanted you. And I didn’t know how to go about getting you. So I couldn’t be around you. It makes no sense I know and I’m sorry for being-” he tries to explain, but I cut him off lacing a hand around the back of his neck and through his hair. I grab his chin with my free hand and guide him towards me as I connect our lips together, our tongues meeting instantly. My heart races as we both close our eyes and fully get into the kiss. My hand drops down towards his chest, as he directs me towards one of the couches behind us. As my calves reach the back of it, I’m met with his towering stature over me as he brushes a hand through his curls and his breathing increases. I turn around and push him down, his arm falling back behind his head as he watches me, his tongue poking the side of his cheek. I place my knees either side of him slowly, as I perch down on his lap. At first, he’s surprised, but he quickly softens into it.
“Fuck.” he mutters, his breath hot on my skin as his hand coming up to meet my neck, gently applying pressure around it. He pulls me into meet his lips again.
“What?” I whisper, almost out of breath as we break apart. He shakes his head in amusement, a smirk plastered across his face.
“You used to get on my nerves, now you’re getting on my dick.” he teases, his voice low and raspy, as seductive as ever.
“oh shut up.” I roll my eyes, a little chuckle escaping knowing he’s evidently loving every minute of this. He flashes a cheeky smile, still amused with his comment. Our tongues begin intertwining again as his hand comes to meet my waist and lands on my ass. I grasp his face with one of my own hands, the other gripping onto his hair.
“don’t act like you don’t love it mama.” he bites his lip as we break apart.
“So what? I don’t get on your nerves anymore? Is that what you’re saying?” I smirk back.
“Oh believe me, you do. Just not as much. But I can put up with it if it means more of this.” he squeezes my thigh and raises his eyebrows.
“why don’t we go to the hotel now and I can give you more?” I suggest.
“Oh really? You in love with me or something?” he responds, mischief in his eyes.
“We don’t gotta be in love with each other Chris.” I whisper.
“Yeah but I heard it’s a lot better if we are.” he whispers back with a small wink before pulling me back into him again by my hair.
Somewhere In the Crowd, There’s You ❀ C.Sturniolo (Part 1.)
« But I won’t feel blue, like I always do. Cause somewhere in the crowd there’s you »
pairing: chris sturniolo x fem!reader
warnings: platonic friendship (for now just waiiiittt), MAJOR fluff, swearing, she/her pronouns.
summary: inspired by the abba song ‘Super Trouper’ in which the reader is best friend’s with Chris and she surprises him at the last show of the tour.
note: all of my work is completely fictional. i do not know the triplets personally and therefore all characteristics and mannerisms are not an realistic/accurate representation of them or their personalities in real life. i write for fun. i do not write smut or anything along those lines. there could potentially be mentions of topics that may trigger people, but they will be very vague and will not be in relation to the triplets. i also will not write anything including topics as such involving the triplets. enjoy!
A/N: listen to the slowed down versions of the song on YT and I promise you will FEEL things (hopefully idk). Just imagine the beat drop before the chorus at the end bc holy fuck. Also this is just part one as per the title, more is coming! One last thing not fucking proofread and it’s 6am here so ????
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
If there was one thing I learned straight off the bat when it came to becoming friends with the triplets, it was how much they cared about being not only in each others company as they were inseparable whether they liked it or not, but how much they appreciated and cared about spending time with family and friends whenever they could. They hated being alone, especially Chris. That’s why being away on tour from the people he loved the most was emotional torture for him.
I had a solid friendship when it came to all three brothers, but there was something about Chris and I’s bond that was special. Our friendship made no sense to anyone looking from the outside, not even Nick and Matt could pinpoint a logical explanation for it at first. I was older than all three of them by a year, and Chris was the youngest triplet. Our personalities were polar opposites; we had more differences than we had similarities and though there was the occasional overlap in the Venn Diagram of our bond here and there, we had the least amount in common. In fact, my personality mirrored Matt’s more, everyone eventually even dubbing me the ‘female version’ of him. But Chris and I just clicked. It was a dynamic that shouldn’t have worked. But as they say, opposites attract, and in our case it did.
Chris was a bundle of energy around people he was comfortable with. And I liked to think he was comfortable around me, if his teasing and taunting and jumping ontop of me at any given time, which sometimes led to me wishing he had an ‘off’ button, was anything to go by. And I was comfortable around him. There was just something about him. He brought out the child in me, something my adhd did not necessarily need but loved. When I needed them most, his hugs felt like a giant plushy teddy bear, and every time I heard his infectious laugh, it was a little reminder for me not to take life so seriously. He knew me better than anyone. He knew how to cheer me up, not with words but with actions. He bought me gifts and food just because he felt like it. He made laugh until my face and stomach hurt. He listened to me to ramble; well most of the time, unless it was about astrology or Pokémon go or some random ass show like Grey’s Anatomy or Vampire Diaries that he had no interest in which case he would have no problem telling me to ‘shut the fuck up kid’ or ‘bro go annoy Matt or Nick with this dumb shit and not me’. He claimed he hate me cuddling into him or holding onto his arm during a scary movie, yet he’d cling to me when he felt like it and I’d find him snuggled up beside me fast asleep later that night. And most of all, he believed in me when I felt like no one else did.
If I’m honest, at times it felt like more than just a friendship with Chris. Whether it was the occasional glance with the little cheeky smirk at each other here and there when we’d think nobody is watching, the gazes at each others eyes and lips that seem to last a little longer each time, the forehead kisses, the casual spooning at night when I’d stay over, the little pang of jealousy and the protection that came from both sides, or the ‘I love you’s’ that felt more like confessions than platonic terms of endearment. But nothing ever happened, no matter how much I secretly wanted it to.
It was the last night of the triplets Versus tour and as much as Chris had loved every minute of it so far, he would have been lying to himself if he had said he wasn’t slightly exhausted and homesick at this stage. Not so much homesick for an actual physical place such as LA and Boston, but there was a deep sense of loneliness and longing for his family and one of his closest friends. He had been agitated and quiet, his social battery draining by the second. I had been away back home visiting family in Europe for the past few weeks, and unbeknownst to Chris, I was coming back to the states early to surprise him with his parents, Justin and Nate at the last show. Everyone was in on the plan, even Matt and Nick. I landed in Florida in the hours of the early morning, getting into my hotel separate to where the triplets were staying whilst it was still dark out. I spent majority of the day in my hotel room, avoiding running the risk of bumping into them or spoiling anything. As the evening drew in and the show got closer, Chris had texted and called a couple of times, and it was so hard to lie to him and not ruin everything out of excitement and nerves. He had even text an ‘I miss you, I wish your dumbass was here’ and it took everything in me not to reply with an ‘I am here dumbass.’
Finally after what felt like an antagonising-ly long period of time, it was showtime. I left my hotel and waited as patiently as I could until Jimmy, Laura and security could sneak me into the venue. Thankfully, the boys weren’t on stage yet, Matt giving me updates here and there as we watched from the audience in one of the tiered boxes. I was nervous as fuck, but I couldn’t wait to see Chris’ reaction. When they eventually came out on stage, Nick made a point of telling the audience that his parents, Justin and Nate were at the show, pointing up toward where we were standing, causing everyone to cheer. Chris, with his arms folded holding his mic, looked up only to reply in classic Chris fashion with a ‘wait pause, what the fu- I mean hell? Sorry my bad! Is that?..’ I smiled wider than I had ever smiled before, inevitably reducing to tears. Matt and Nick in sync replied with a ‘yuppp’ as they watched on at their youngest brother in shock. Suddenly, a weight had been lifted off both of our shoulders, and Chris felt like everything in the world was right again. All both of us wanted to do was run to each other and embrace each other in the biggest hug ever. But we had to wait, and it was definitely something worth waiting for.
I gave a small little wave as MaryLou grabbed my arms and hugged me, and Chris shook his head. ‘For those who don’t know our friend Y/N is here too for our final show and we all knew about it except for Chris’ Nick laughed, earning a little ‘dude what is going on right now? This is insane, I’m not gonna be able to concentrate for shit now.’ from Chris. ‘Well you’re gonna have to, we still have a competition going on here’ Matt added, and with that the show commenced, the smile plastered on my face not leaving once.
The show and backstage stuff with fans ended after what seemed like an eternity, and though it had been so fun to watch, I was just ready to jump into Chris’ arms and not let go. I waited with Madi, Nate, Justin, Jimmy and MaryLou in a room on the second floor, hearing the echoing sounds of the triplets and Laura coming up the corridor, Chris’ voice being the loudest as he ran towards the room we were in. After a few minutes, the door flung wide open and Chris ran straight towards me.
“Kid what the fuck are you doing here?” he asked, wrapping his arms around me and squeezing me as tightly as he could. Everyone smiled and laughed at his priceless reaction a second time.
“You didn’t think I’d miss your last show now did you? I’m so proud of you.” I laughed as I began crying again.
“Bro you’re supposed to be in-“, he began but I cut him off.
“In a different continent? Yeah yeah I know, but I knew you were missing me too much for me to not be here Chris.” I teased, though it was the truth.
“Holy fuck kid. I’m not letting you go ever again I don’t care.” he replied, still wrapped around me and swaying me back and forth.
“Alright Chris, jesus don’t squish the girl to death.” Matt joked, earning another laugh from everyone. Chris had let go but remained by my side.
“you guys are so adorable, ya going to set me off!” MaryLou shrieked, sniffling already.
“Oh my god Mom!” Nick chuckled, Justin shaking his head.
“Go give your Mom a hug.” I smirked, nudging him.
“Yeah Chris, you can spend all night long with ya girlfriend later.” Jimmy had added.
“Not his girlfriend Jim!” I shook my head, blushing ever so slightly.
”you might as well be.” Chris blurted out humorously, making his way over to his parents, giving a quick look back and raising his eyebrows.
“well if you actually grew a pair and actually asked me out, maybe I would be.” I raised my eyebrows back, everyone especially Matt, Nick, Nate, Madi and Justin giving a little ‘oh’ and side eye to each other. Chris rolled his eyes blushing like there was no tomorrow.
“Oh yeah? Well the nights not over yet kid so who knows? Maybe I will.” he winked back, earning a pat on the shoulder from Nate as everyone entered into their own conversations and hugs again.
« sweet creature, had another talk about where it’s going wrong / we don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong / we’re still young, I always think about you and how we don’t talk enough »
pairing: chris sturniolo x fem!reader
warnings: platonic friendship, there’s a kiss, depicts mental health issues, fluff, swearing, she/her pronouns.
summary: in which reader has a bad mental health day and Chris comforts her.
note: all of my work is completely fictional. i do not know the triplets personally and therefore all characteristics and mannerisms are not an realistic/accurate representation of them or their personalities in real life. i write for fun. i do not write smut or anything along those lines. there could potentially be mentions of topics that may trigger people, but they will be very vague and will not be in relation to the triplets. i also will not write anything including topics as such involving the triplets. enjoy!
(If anyone wants a Matt version of this but different, please let me know and send in any requests you guys have. Also this is not proof read so don’t come for me.)
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
Whenever you were having an off day, the triplets never failed to cheer you up. It was one of the many reasons you loved them, and felt very privileged to know them personally and be friends with them. You could see why they were adored so much by so many all over the world. They were the very same in real life. The same way they brought a smile to so many faces and laughter to those who needed it most even when they didn’t feel like laughing, whether it was through a screen or in person at a meet and greet, was the very same way they helped you especially in your darkest times. As you lived alone in LA away from your family and friends back home, it got hard not having a bunch of people around and it was rare to find genuine friends in such a place, which is why they were so important to you. And they were all so different despite being triplets, which was a blessing because you could rely on all of them for different reasons.
You were fairly close to all three of them, but more so Nick than Matt or Chris. Nick was not only a trio with his brothers, but also a trio with you and Madi. He was the mature, responsible and supportive friend; the one you confided in the most because he listened and understood everything. You felt seen and heard by him. But he was also very honest; never one to hold back or sugarcoat things and was most definitely not afraid to give you some tough love when you needed it most. He sometimes gave his opinion and his advice but ultimately reminded you that it was your situation at the end of the day and only you could decide what was best. When it came to Nick, he was very much a try to find a solution there and then if possible kind of guy and if you couldn’t, well he would just hype you up so that you felt confident and loved no matter what you were going through.
Matt like Nick was also an extremely good listener and was very understanding, especially when it came to mental health talk. But in comparison to Nick, he didn’t feel as confident with words, and he didn’t like to make anyone feel judged, so he tried his best to just listen and not give his input. That’s not to say he didn’t give you advice at all if you asked for it, or to say he always fed into any delusions you had; he didn’t, and he wasn’t behind the door about calling you out on certain things if needed be either. But majority of the time he always tried to comfort you by listening to you talk without pushing boundaries, and getting you to just breathe and focus on good things, and with little words of encouragement and endearment here and there. Matt knew that although there might not be a solution to the problem straight away, he believed there would come one in time, and he always reminded you of that. He was there to lend an ear if you wanted to talk and that’s what mattered to him most.
And then there was Chris. Chris unlike his brothers, wasn’t too good with dealing with emotions or situations, whether that be his own or others, so you talked to him about things the least. Though not always possible, he tried to remain the childlike, happy-go-lucky guy, that although was actually very good with words, did his best to cheer everyone up with his humour. He was aware of the severity of certain things, and how heavy dealing with them could be, but he didn’t like to talk about them because he wasn’t sure what to say and didn’t want to put either party in an uncomfortable situation so he always tried showing positivity with comedic relief and hugs. Chris in contrast to the others, was very much a ‘hey, it could be worse’ and ‘look let’s not worry about solving the problem right now let’s just be present and enjoy the moment’. If Chris could get you to crack a smile or laugh a little at his jokes, he felt like he had succeeded in his books.
Today you were having one of those off days, and you really needed some company, specifically Nick. He had meetings with Laura from morning until the afternoon at the warehouse, but he had told you he wouldn’t be long and that you could go over to their home to wait for him until he got back. And once he’d returned, you would get some food and have a sleepover. Matt had gone with Nick as Nick didn’t want to take an Uber, leaving only Chris in the house on his own. When you got outside their house, you quickly text Chris as you made your way up their driveway, to let him know you had arrived. Upon getting to the front door, you saw Chris had read your message and within seconds he was standing with it wide open.
“Hey you!” Chris greeted you, smiling adorably as he waved you to come inside.
“Hi Chris.” you spoke back softly, giving him a small smile in return. He held the door open as you made your way up the stairs from their front door. As you dropped your bag against the wall of the living room area, you let out an audible sigh and put your phone back in your hoodie pocket.
“Yo, you good?” Chris asked, now appearing at the top of the stairs himself and looks at you with folded arms and legs spread slightly apart, a little concerned at your sigh.
“Uh, yeah. Yeah I’m fine, just a little tired is all don’t worry about me..” you replied with a nod, rubbing your eyes in the process and then looking back at him.
“You’re one of my friends, I’ll always worry about you idiot!” he shook his head, giving a brief chuckle. “But if you’re sure.”
“Positive Chris, but thank you.” you uttered, not wanting to get into it as you knew he was busy.
“Alright, well Nick said he’d be home in a bit. I have shit to work on downstairs in my room for my brand. You can come down if you wanna chill, or you can stay here and watch tv and or something. Up to you! Also snacks and drinks in the fridge. You know where everything is anyways so you can help yourself.” Chris responded, making his way behind you and back towards the kitchen.
“Oh okay, well.. I don’t wanna annoy you or distract you, so I think I’ll just chill up here and watch TikTok’s or whatever.” you pursed your lips and smiled, placing your hands in your pockets. Chris gave another chuckle and smile in response.
“Fair enough.” he answered. “Well if you get lonely or bored you know where to find me.”
You simply smiled in return and Chris made his way back down to his room, as you walked over to the couches and sat in the corner between the two. You unlocked your phone and began scrolling through Instagram before pulling up TikTok and watching a few videos, the sound of them echoing in the room with the high ceiling and open space.
A half hour passed by and Nick and Matt still hadn’t arrived home yet. You were still in the same place on the couch, resting the side of your head against the back of the sofa with your hood up, though now not on your phone but rather looking out the window with listening to music, when you were snapped out of your thoughts by Chris appearing in front of the tv across from you moving his hands trying to get your attention. You could see his mouth moving as you paused the song on your phone and took out your AirPods.
“Damn I for real thought you were gone deaf.” Chris joked. “I was calling your name from over there for a solid five minutes. I was deadass like ‘is this kid seriously ignoring me or what the fuck is going on?’ Didn’t even think about you possibly having AirPods in and I couldn’t see them with your hood up.”
“you’re insane Chris.” you let a little air out of your nose as you chuckled, lifting your head up. “what’s up anyways?”
“nothing, just thought I’d check on you. they’re still not home yet?”
You shook your head, tucking some hair into your hood and behind your ear. “well that’s really nice of you, ‘preciate it, and nah, not yet but I’m sure they won’t be too much longer.”
“all good, and Jesus that’s crazy. Well, I’m finished with the Fresh Love stuff now anyways, so we can do something if you wanna!” he smiled.
“Uh, sure yeah.” you sat up even more, as you removed the foot you had underneath you and placed it back down on the ground.
“but first you gotta tell me what’s going on with you.”
“what d’you mean?” you asked, with a scrunched up face, still acting as though you were fine.
“bruh I’ve known you like a year now. you’re sitting on the sofa with your hood up staring out the window and you have your AirPods in, most likely listening to Billie Eilish or some other artist who makes sad ass fucking music. I can read you like a god damn book idiot, don’t try play dumb. I know you’re upset. So tell me, whats going on?” Chris laughed initially but as he sat down beside you, sighed and rested his own head against the couch, his last words softer and worried as he questioned you.
You sighed yourself before turning to face him and responding. “I don’t even know. My mental health is just kicking my ass today I guess.”
“One of those days huh?” He asked, pouting sympathetically.
“Yeah...” you nodded a moment later, closing your eyes as they welled up with tears.
“Hey, hey come here.” Chris responded, pulling you into him, one of his arms draping around the back of your head. You buried your head in his chest.
“I’m sorry.” you choked.
“For what? Crying?” He laughed. “don’t be stupid. I don’t like seeing you upset obviously, but if you need to cry, you need to cry. Either way, I’m here.”
“Look I know you’re closer to Nick than you are to me or Matt, and I know you’re waiting for him to come home so you can talk to him, but you can talk to me too you know? You’re my friend too. I don’t want you sitting here on your own hurting when I’m in literally in the house.” He softened his voice, almost whispering into your hair.
“I know I’m sorry I just didn’t wanna annoy you or make you uncomfortable. I know you don’t like talking about feelings and shit.” you mumbled.
“Uncomfortable? Come on bruh, don’t be silly. Tell me, what’s on that pretty little mind of yours?” he asked, as he squeezed you tighter with his free hand now around you, resting on your shoulder.
“I’m just not sure where I’m at in life right now. I don’t know if I’m on the right path and I feel like I should have it all figured out by now but I don’t and I just.. I don’t know.. I feel like I’m sad and anxious all the time about it and...” you began explaining but trailed off.
“Who said you had to have it all figured out? We’re still young, we’re not expected to have it all figured out. You’re putting that extra pressure on yourself when there’s absolutely no need to. And yeah sure, you might not know where you’re at right now and you might feel like you’re not on the right path currently but I promise you will in time. Trust me I’ve been there too some days I still go back there and it sucks bruh. But you gotta remember, you’re not alone, okay? You’re never alone. You have us and other friends and your family and we’re all right here with you every single step of the way. We’ll all help you get where you’re supposed to be. Just don’t worry about it or overthink it too much. I know it’s easier said than done but we just gotta enjoy right now and look forward to what’s to come. It’s the present that matters. And don’t let anyone tell you you can’t do something alright? Because you can do anything you put your mind to. Whatever you wanna go for, I believe in you.” he gave a reassuring smile as you brought your face back up to meet him.
“thanks Chris I appreciate you so much. It’s so nice to hear that from you.” you replied, as Chris wiped some tears from under your eyes with his thumb.
“Listen, I know I always just kinda try to be funny and make jokes and stuff, and we don’t really talk enough when it comes to like real shit. But from now on we’re gonna. I can’t have my homegirl relying on just my brother when there’s three of us you can talk to. Plus, I can make you laugh and smile a lot more than Nick I know that for a fact.”
“oh is that so?” you chuckle, looking from Chris down to your hands as you fidget, turning your phone from corner to corner on your lap.
“dude come on you know it’s facts.”
You smiled softly amused, as Chris used his free hand to tilt your chin up to make you look back up at him. His precious little face beamed at you. “Hey!” He spoke, almost in a whisper.
“Hmm?” You replied as your eyes scanned his face.
“You know what else I can do that I know for a fact Nick can’t?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows and smirking. You shook your head slowly.
“This.” He answered, leaning in to your face and placing his lips on your cheek. You chuckled.
“Chris, I hate to break it to you buddy but Nick can kiss me on the cheek too, you dumbass.” You stated lowly, a smirk appearing on your face.
“Oh my bad, I actually meant to kiss you rightttt.. here.” he announced, leaning back in again as his lips pressed little kisses against your face before landing on your own lips. The kiss was soft and slow, lasting a minute or two. As you both broke apart, he rested his forehead against your own. “And hey, don’t call me a dumbass, dumbass! I know what the fuck I be doing.” he whispered, earning a warm smile from you.
As you both sat there for another half hour, just talking, joking and cuddling, Nick and Matt finally arrived home. Once they reached the top of the stairs, they turned to both of you, Chris’ arm still around your head, the other holding you tightly.
“Uhh-” Nick started to speak as he widened his eyes. Matt just pursed his lips and smiled sheepishly behind his brother. “Are we interrupting something?”
“Nice to see you too Nick.” Chris chirped back with a chuckle, as he glanced down at you with a smile to see your reaction. You blushed heavily, looking back at him before both of you looked in Nick and Matt’s direction again.
“Yeah yeah nice to see you too great whatever. Um once again are we missing something cause what the fuck???” Nick tilted his head and rapidly blinked his eyes confused.
“Calm down Nick, we’re we’re just talking.” Chris rolled his eyes and sighed with a smirk. “You took your sweet ass fucking time getting back here and so I had to take your place and make sure Y/N was alright.”
“And is she?” Matt asked, raising an eyebrow before looking at Nick behind his back and then back over at Chris with an amused look, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek. He knew full well.
“She is now.” You replied and smiled, as did Chris, a proud little look now spread across his face. As Matt made his way to the kitchen and Nick turned his back towards the stairs after motioning for you to go up to his room with him, you went to sit up, but before you could you felt Chris pull you back a bit, before placing another gentle kiss on your forehead.
“remember I’m always here for you.” He whispered, giving another little smile. “whenever you need me, I’m home.”
You knew what he meant by that and you were so grateful to have him, along with his brothers, because even though you were miles away from your family and where you grew up, a part of the triplets really did feel like home.
