@mixing-soulz
((ta da!))
Despite all that they had gone through with one another, "Hikaru" was still acutely aware of how lucky he was to be brought along when Yoshiki packed up and headed to Tokyo. Every moment by his side was more exhilarating than the last-- he could never tire of his company. Even as they painstakingly unpacked the seemingly endless loads of boxes and bags, "Hikaru" couldn't have wiped the smile off his face if he tried.
As it got later into the evening, the two agreed upon leaving the decor for another day, content with having the essentials out. Even then, "Hikaru" couldn't stop eyeing the space around them with an earnest excitement, gaze flicking from Yoshiki, to the(ir!) kitchen, living room, etc-- it seemed that, as a human, it was possible to be happy enough that it hurt.
One last thing did need to be done that night, however, "Hikaru" pulling out a mess of sheets and blankets and draping them over his shoulders. "Yoshikiii!" "Hikaru" called out, as if Yoshiki couldn't hear him perfectly well in the cramped apartment. Not waiting for a response, he scampered off to find his roommate, soon standing at the open bathroom door and finding him getting ready for the night. "Hey, I think the mattress is the right size for this stuff!" He said excitedly, having been worried that they'd have to shell out more money for a new set, or, God forbid, a new mattress. "I can help ya make your bed when you're ready?"
@bloodstainedswitch
Endearing was the first word that would come to mind when Yoshiki looked at Hikaru. The sense of wonder, and joy was infectious. Even if he couldnât match his energy, he still felt it in the way his stomach flip flopped, the warmth that washed over his body. This sense of comfort that had eluded him for so long settled across his shoulders like a familiar blanket. His head turned to the side, hiding the soft smile that played upon his lips. As the day winded down, his body began to feel heavy, each step weighted with his exhaustion from their busy day. Even the way he brushed his teeth was sluggish, almost making him want to give it up all together. The reflection that stared back at him, shorter bangs (his face flushed, Hikaruâs voice echoed from the past âI think youâve got a handsome face!â) moles that he still disliked but not as much as he did a few years ago. He looked exhausted. He looked happy. With a short sigh he spat in the sink, going back to focusing on brushing his teeth. Even Hikaruâs yell sounded slightly distant to his ears. Until it was right in front of him. He slowly turned his head a muffled questioning noise escaping his lips as his tooth brush hung precariously from his mouth. âMhm,â he grunted in agreement even though all he wanted to do was pass out. After rising out his mouth he added âitâs yer bed though I donât mind helpâin getting it together. iâm taking the floor till we figure something out.â
@mixing-soulz
A rush of affection flooded "Hikaru's" system as Yoshiki casted his bleary eyes towards him. It took a great deal of self control to not drop everything he was holding and pull him into his arms, "Hikaru" shifting his weight from foot to foot to expend the excited energy. Sure, they'd had sleepovers before, but the fact that this was going to be every night for them was an almost overwhelmingly good thing. He hadn't stopped smiling since they'd arrived. Maybe even since Yoshiki had proposed the idea.
"Hikaru's" head tilted animalistically at the response, expression caught between confused and mildly amused.
"It's your place," "Hikaru" pointed out, feeling like this was fairly obvious. "C'mon, you think I'm gonna let ya sleep on the floor in your own apartment?" Besides, "Hikaru" was grateful to be there at all, and it seemed like a pretty rotten repayment to not let Yoshiki take the bed. He'd be forever indebted to him for accepting him in the first place, much less keeping him by his side.
"Plus, you'd wake up in wayyy more pain than I would," "Hikaru" added sagely, conclusively. Sure, it was no longer a foreign feeling for him to hurt, but even without that significant piece of himself he'd given to Yoshiki, he was sturdier than humans.
@bloodstainedswitch
"You'd still feel it," Yoshiki replied, brows furrowing as if those words were explanation enough. He set the toothbrush down turning to face him. Instead of the serious face he was aiming for the expression looked more like a pout of all things as he added on, "you'd get stiff, and ache just like me so-" he paused trying to formulate some argument but the wheels in his head were spinning out uselessly. He didn't want him to sleep on the bare floor- sure Hikaru's done it before, and so has he but...
"Not just my place either," he mumbled bumping his shoulder against Hikaru's own having moved to stand in front of the archway with him. "It's ours. Our place." He could feel his face going hot at his own words, quickly looking away. His stomach flip flopped while he tried to think of what to do with his hands so he wasn't just standing there like an idiot.
Our place...
They could share the- He started to pull on some of the sheets in Hikaru's arms silently asking to carry at least half of the burden so he didn't slam his head into a wall. He was starting to feel more awake by the second, that single half thought threatening to release the flood gates of things he had kept quietly to himself. That silent gaping maw within his chest that grew bigger, demanding more. The bone deep yearning for contact of any kind no matter if it was just a hairs breath of skin.
@mixing-soulz
"Hikaru" made a noncommittal noise at Yoshiki's protests, because while he didn't agree with the conclusion, it'd be a lie to say he was wrong. His roommate's lips were pursed in a funny way, one that "Hikaru" had come to associate with being silently asked to back down. It was a cute face-- he'd be the first to say it-- but he was to remain firm.
Still, he allowed Yoshiki the time to think, knowing the way that his brow knit meant he was putting a lot of consideration into what he wanted to say next. He was glad he managed not to interrupt, his lips spreading into a wide, sheepish grin as Yoshiki murmured a further explanation. Our place. Our place our place our place.
Yoshiki refused to look at him as he said that, so "Hikaru" knew it was important.
"Well, I guess ya got me there," "Hikaru" conceded, still smiling toothily as he shrugged some of the sheets off his shoulder and into Yoshiki's arms. "But I'd still feel weird making ya sleep on the floor, yanno? So no thanks," he hummed, playfully nudging Yoshiki's body with his own as they went down the hallway.
The bedroom was rather bare for the time being, furnished by a lone shelf and a bed pressed against the wall. "Hikaru" liked it a lot. "I brought my pillow, so I can just use that."
@bloodstainedswitch
A soft grunt was all the answer he gave to that knowing if he let anything else pass his lips it'd be embarrassing. Not for Hikaru of course, just himself. Always himself. Even now with the slightest brush of his shoulder against his own sent little sparks through his skin. A brush of shoulders. how could someone find something as simple as that so... so, exhilarating. It wasn't even skin to skin, muffled by fabric yet he could taste it on the tip of his tongue feel the rush to his head that made him want to grab Hikaru's arm and not let go.
Was it wrong? It wasn't sexual in nature, to want to touch- let his fingers explore the grooves of the others fingertips, feel the way the heart beat stuttered because Hikaru forgot how hearts beat again for the millionth time. It wouldn't be. He wouldn't be cohering him into anything, it'd just be friendly touch. Hikaru wouldn't take it the wrong way, he didn't even have those interests in the first place.
"That pillow won't be enough for ya. What bout a chair?" he offered up trying to scrape enough of his brain together to find a salutation to the problem and stop whatever line of thought he was going down. "Bit better then the floor, right?" He's not sure if he could handle taking the obvious solution; he'd probably say something stupid like 'let me back into your chest hole.' an never live it down after.
He wondered if when Hikaru consumed a soul, if it felt like this. An ache being soothed, an a madness that threatened to claim him begging for more. One was it ever enough? Did it make his chest feel warm, did spirits taste of anything. What would his soul taste like? And would Hikaru like the taste of it.
@mixing-soulz
Even with his ever-growing ability to read Yoshiki, "Hikaru" found it difficult to tell how he felt about certain things. Did he like the physical contact? Merely tolerate it? He liked to think that he'd let him know to back off if need be, but on the other hand, he knew himself to be a bit... Emotionally volatile. Perhaps Yoshiki kept some privacy in regards to that, not wanting to set him off. "Hikaru" lightly shook his head as if to erase the thought from his mind.
Thankfully, he was lifted from that rabbit hole by Yoshiki's voice making another suggestion, and "Hikaru" shrugged like it was neither here nor there. And it wasn't, not really. He'd sleep outside if he was made to, as long as it was nearby. "If it makes ya happy," "Hikaru" agreed, fanning out the fitted sheet onto the mattress and beginning to put it in place. "I can keep watch in the living room by the door, like a guard dog!" "Hikaru's" voice flooded into laughter, the mental image of himself curled up like a puppy invading his mind. Really, though-- was he far off from something like that?
Speaking of dogs, he wouldn't even mind sleeping at the foot of the bed.
"Yeah, that'll work," "Hikaru" conceded. Admittedly, he did wonder what it'd be like to just... No, that wasn't right. He shouldn't be thinking about sleeping alongside Yoshiki, already selfish enough to come along with him in the first place, to refuse to leave his side.
"Man, can't believe we're in the big city," "Hikaru" mumbled, more to himself for the sake of distraction than anything else.
@bloodstainedswitch
It was to late for Yoshiki, who found himself diving into a whole new rabbit hole. Silently watching the way Hikaru's back muscles flex with the same awe an wonder as a person gazing upon The Great Wave off Kanagawa. (the same terror as those who had seen such a wave) The same very wave that seemed to batter against his mind, whilst he clutched the blanket to his chest. He had taken a half step back to better watch Hikaru move. Hilariously enough, he was the one that felt like a predator in the moment even though Hikaru was stronger then him by far.
'Not strong enough to go against you' a voice silky sweet whispered in the back of his mind. Hikaru would probably agree to sleep outside on the concrete if he told him too. The very idea made something twist uncomfortably in his gut, making him feel queasy. This should be fine he agreed! It's not the floor, it wouldn't be bad.
Yet.
Yet
His laugh did funny things to his head. Made something in the back of his head snap. "No- no that's... You'd- You can sleep in the bed with-" his tongue felt on fire, starving for it, the faintest taste. "With me." Blood rushed to his head, dizzying, that he actually said that out loud. Did he even say that out-loud? or was that all in his head.
"I don't want you keeping watch like that- I don't want ya to- to act like a dog cuz yer so much more then a pet ta me. Yer the one I wanted to come with me, we agreed on that train. To go together, to explore the world together til the end."
Staving, roaring hunger clawing up his throat. The real dog was him. A skinny, rabid thing looking at Hikaru with wild eyes, that wanted to sink his teeth into the skin of his shoulder and not let go.
@mixing-soulz
"Hikaru'' paused what he was doing to properly look at Yoshiki when he spoke up, absently letting go of the sheet as his focus was shifted. He'd been about to offer an 'are you sure?' based on the way it seemed nearly painful for Yoshiki to say, but his roommate uncharacteristically had more to say.
He wasn't embarrassed, so "Hikaru" wondered why his face felt so hot as Yoshiki spoke. He felt warm all over, if he thought about it, distinct from the usual comfort of Yoshiki's presence. His expression hadn't changed, giving the impression of being lost in thought. This was partially true, but simultaneously, "Hikaru" would say that-- for the first time-- he was so pleased that he'd forgotten to smile. Hell, he didn't even know what to say for once, momentarily stunned.
Then, as if a switch had been flipped, "Hikaru" sped to close the distance between them, throwing his arms around Yoshiki's neck and resting his face on his shoulder, grinning like an idiot. It was a bit of an awkward fit, Yoshiki's arms pressed against "Hikaru's" chest and the blanket creating a barrier, but he hardly minded. He had been-- well, hoping was a strong word-- more like imagining Yoshiki offering just that, saying just that.
"Thanks, Yoshiki-- I promise not to keep ya up!" "Hikaru" said, pulling back with some reluctance after realizing that he'd been holding Yoshiki for longer than he thought he'd been. It didn't fluster him to show affection, but he knew Yoshiki's feelings towards it were a bit complicated, so he tried to balance things. "Where d'ya like to sleep? Like, towards the wall or on the outside?" As much as "Hikaru" was supposed to know he wasn't a dog, he'd have slept at the foot of the bed if it made Yoshiki feel more comfortable.
@bloodstainedswitch
It was the one thing he wanted Hikaru to understand, even if he didn't understand anything else was that he wasn't a replacement. Nor was he an animal he kept around for the fun of it. Hikaru was his own man, with his own feelings. Likes and dislikes far from the original Hikaru that he had a crush on. And those differences were another reason why he liked this Hikaru too.
The thing he never admitted to himself before, how he loved how earnest this Hikaru was. Even while clumsy he tried to be gentle, to learn from his mistakes, and understand the gaps in his knowledge of humanity.
He squeezed the blanket closer to himself as the silence carried feeling his heart pounding against his ribs. He couldn't hide behind his bangs, not like he did before. So, of course his flushed face felt like a beacon to his plight.
'but why is he blushing too? Does he dislike it-' A fleeting thought that didn't stay for long, lost in the sudden rush.
A breathless gasp escaped him, one second wondering if he should jump out their apartment window out of shame, then the next wrapped up in a strong grip that had him melting. He went still, as if the very moment could be shattered if he tried to move an inch. His fingers died to curl into the fabric of Hikaru's shirt and draw him closer, twitching faintly. He leaned into it, the feeling of his head on his shoulder, almost pressed flushed together. If he closed his eyes he could be, if he just moved his arms.
His, his Hikaru.
The whine was a pathetic one, at having been let go it was ice water to his senses a reminder to not get carried away no matter how badly he wanted to fall into it.
"The wall's fine," he admitted tone to breathy to- to needy, to everything that he tried not to be as he shakes his head to get a grip. "Yer fine, s'not like you'll be kicking me, you sleep like a log, remember? I can sleep through your loud snores no problem." His lip twitched as he moved forward to straighten out the sheets and get the blankets ready determined not to think to hard about what he just agreed too.
As if that was possible.
@mixing-soulz
For a second, "Hikaru" worried that he'd done the wrong thing, feeling Yoshiki stiffening under his touch but not being quite willing to let go just yet. His selfishness continued to benefit him, Yoshiki soon resting some of his weight against him and providing an intoxicating feeling of warmth and pressure. It more than made up for the unconventional position, "Hikaru" soaking up the warmth like liquid on a cloth.
The noise that Yoshiki makes as he steps back catches him off guard, and he's unsure how to interpret it. His gut instinct says that it means Yoshiki wasn't ready for him to pull away, though it was hard to say if that wasn't just wishful thinking on his end. The way he'd leaned into "Hikaru", though, it made him feel a bit more confident to see what he could get away with. After all, he'd already let Yoshiki reach inside of him twice, so was this even noteworthy?
Yoshiki's tone was shaky, adding another layer to "Hikaru's" list of observations that he was trying to make sense of. He couldn't be nervous, right? There wasn't any reason to be scared of him.
Well, no reason for Yoshiki to be scared of him, at the very least.
"Yeah, I sleep pretty deep for a guy who doesn't need it," "Hikaru" laughed out. "Do I really snore that loud? I'd tell ya to wake me up, but sounds like that's not an option," and he'd stopped giggling by then, but the bubbly tone of voice remained strong. No matter how much his curiosity about what Yoshiki was thinking overran his thoughts, it couldn't distract from the fact that they were getting ready to share the bed for the night. He waited for Yoshiki to get into bed first, and he briefly paused to consider changing into his pajamas. He soon decided against it, figuring his day clothes were comfortable enough, and he kinda wants to be under the covers with Yoshiki yesterday.