âYes, it is something one has to think about, Illya.â She retorted, the little fall in the cadence on her voice was a crack that the unnamed feeling churning in her guts needed to show up. The clouded thoughts came and went like the pull of waves against the shore, rubbing the sand over open wounds on the coast. âBecause that man could be me, you or Solo. Itâs not the fact that heâs dead thatâs bugging me⊠Not just that of course.â
Gaby sighed, her spine finally bowing down to the pressure as the elbows slipped until they were resting against bent knees and her head fell forward, not quite meeting Illyaâs shoulder.
It was so easy to pretend that every job will consist of bickering and a healthy amount of adrenaline that deaths looked almost otherworldly in their routine, when it actually was a possibility looming over every cornerâbut she never gave herself the time to think about it or the string of fallen bodies left behind. âIâm OK,â That was obviously a lie, but it was already a start. âthis is like that annoying skin on your thumb. You know that it is there and you have to pull it. You know itâs going to hurt but you pull it anyway and the pain is always different. It will sting for a while.â Gaby raised her head, a tired smile painted on colorless lips. âAnd one day it will happen again, but that will pass just like every other time, right?â
She wasnât wrong. They were locked in a wicked dance with death, and a single misstep is all itâd take to end the show. It chased their every step, desperate to pull them in and swallow them whole-- That was the nature of the best, and at the curtain call, itâd cradle them in its arms, body bloody and broken, life snuffed out like an extinguished flame. Spies like them knew of this relationship with death; they couldnât deny its possibilities.
But Gaby did not like the knowledge that they could die, and her weariness hurt him, an ache growing in his chest. âThis will not happen.âÂ
Reaching forward, his hand was a comforting weight on her shoulder. âAs long as I am here, you are safe.â Who was he to make such a claim? He said it with such sincerity, however, and, God, it was a tempting promise to believe. But Illya was the best, fearsome and strong, so one had to wonder: Was it him who was more frightening or death? Hunched over, Illya looked kindly to his partner, touch soothing as he rubbed near the crook of her neck. âDo not worry.â The words were close, feathering against her skin. âYou'll handle this.â You, because she was stubborn and strong. âAnd I am nearby.â I, because heâd help if needed, and no harm would come to her. âAlways.â