final blorbo standing

this is a sideblog where I pit the blorbos from my shows (or other media) against each other in the hunger games simulator. I'm starting with stardew valley, lemme know if yall have suggestions

[blorbos-hunger-games]

Alright first up on the chopping board: Stardew Valley! I promise I spun a wheel for these names to make the teams completely random, but I got some funny teams:

Team 2 is hilarious, I genuinely gasped. They're gonna kill each other for sure.

Team 5 is the mean team, they'll kill you just by bullying you.

Team 6 is surprisingly wholesome! Go mother-daughter duo!

Team 17 is amazing, Pierre cannot catch a break today. I know this seems like I set it up but I did NOT. The universe just hates Pierre.

Team 18 is also cute, they'll find each other in every universe. Old man yaoi <3

[blorbos-hunger-games]

Alrighty then, let's begin!

First off, Vincent, Emily, The Governor, Sam, Krobus, Lewis, Marlon, Evelyn, Linus, and Elliot decide to run away instantly, a bit boring but maybe wise.

Good idea, he probably is experienced with those given that he works at a kitchen.

Poor wizard

Oh noooo 😦. I can only imagine what the chaos creature wants to do with them

Cute

And finally, what we've all been waiting for, the action:

FUCK YEAH JAS!!!

Damn!

Brutal! I already personally like Maru and hate Clint so that only pisses me off more. Fuck you Clint!

And then for the most bloodthirsty act:

Day 1

[blorbos-hunger-games]

Night 1:

A lot of them are begging for death tonight. Cheery.

Damn! She saw him kill someone and was like "yummm reminds me of my dead solider husband 👅" freaky old lady.

He's probably sad that his hubby would rather spend time with Lewis rather than comforting him. Poor gil.

That's sweet I guess.

*gasp* with your sister's beard??? Haven't you heard of girl code Emily?

Should I interpret this as an act of mercy since his family is already dead? Or should I interpret it as an act of racism killing the only 2 poc's in the first day? Much to think about.

Yeah... fair. Your whole family is gone, damn.

[blorbos-hunger-games]

The cornucopia

Day 1:

(I'm only gonna post the interesting stuff from here on out)

Why?? Y'all aren't on the same team, and he's not the pacifist type, he literally killed the dwarf immediately. Whatever, maybe he's just prejudiced against dwarfs.

Demetrius is already done. Fair. He watched his wife and daughter get killed immediately, all he has left is his basement dweller stepson who hates him.

Ah sam, I love ya. You're such a himbo. But maybe you should've been paying more attention to the child that you have to take care of cause-

GEORGE WHAT THE HELL??? Is he really that mad that she broke his grandson's nose? Actually crazy behavior ngl. I hope this old maga pos dies soon, fingers crossed.

Good.

Guess he still has it in him. Not the most agile tho.

HIS OWN GRANDMA TURNED ON HIM? LMAO

Yeah I wouldn't think the governor would be the best at climbing a tree. Rip professor snail.

Damn. Team mother daughter duo and team cave divers is already out. 2 of those kills were Gunther and Shane's fault. I would never think Gunther would be this blood thirsty.

[blorbos-hunger-games]

Alright first up on the chopping board: Stardew Valley! I promise I spun a wheel for these names to make the teams completely random, but I got some funny teams:

Team 2 is hilarious, I genuinely gasped. They're gonna kill each other for sure.

Team 5 is the mean team, they'll kill you just by bullying you.

Team 6 is surprisingly wholesome! Go mother-daughter duo!

Team 17 is amazing, Pierre cannot catch a break today. I know this seems like I set it up but I did NOT. The universe just hates Pierre.

Team 18 is also cute, they'll find each other in every universe. Old man yaoi <3