bury him deep

james pillsbury. blue rose. 19. “It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.”

[jikookprint]

[blue-james]

Text: Who is your escort for the beach thing?

Text: Um. I didn't know I needed one.

[blue-james]

PM: I know we talked some in the past, but I never officially introduced myself. My name's Harrison, and I'm good friends with your brother. We're going to have a small dinner at my place, room 886, on September 13th at 7 pm to celebrate his claim to Mark. Just let me know if you plan to attend.

PM: That's so sweet of you guys. I'll definitely be in attendance.  If you need any help, please let me know!

[rhyswashington]

You do that, man. Sleep so hard you drool on your pillow. 

[blue-james]

Beautiful. I'm going to sleep until we have to leave tomorrow for the Carnival.

[morrigan-corcoran]

Then take a fucking nap. It’s not rocket science. 

[blue-james]

Sorry, I'm just so sleepy, I really shouldn't have said anything, I should've just collapsed in bed.

[peglegelliot]

Fly away, be free, take a nap.

[blue-james]

I'm going to. I'm beyond excited about this nap.

[miss-sheergenius-deactivated201]

[blue-james]

What?

[rhyswashington]

Classes are over. Go fulfill your dreams. 

[blue-james]

I'm going to. I'm so inspired right now -- I'm going to reach my dreams.

[blue-james]

I'm bonetired. I really, really, really need a nap.

[red-milo-blog]

[ text to ; Grumpy Cat - Hey, can we talk when you've got a minute? ]

Text: Of course. What’s up?

[red-milo-blog]

Text: If she starts to worry you, let me know and I’ll try talking to her. Sometimes it helps. 

Text: You can trust Mark. He’s a really good guy. I’ve let him dom me before and he’s good at that too.

Text: We’ll try some stuff out on you, yeah? See how you feel about it. 

[blue-james]

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - Okay. Thank you, seriously. Have I mentioned recently you're the bestest ever? ]

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - You had him Dom you? What was that like? ]

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - If you don't mind me asking, of course. ]

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - You picked him -- of course he's a really good guy. ]

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - That sounds good. Is there anything I should do to prepare or? ]

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - I just think I'll feel so much safer with you and Mark as my first time. ]

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - Especially you, I don't think I've told you lately how grateful I am to have you in my life. ] { UNSENT }

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - Thanks again for being willing to do this. ]

[red-milo-blog]

[ text to ; Grumpy Cat - Hey, can we talk when you've got a minute? ]

Text: Of course. What’s up?

[red-milo-blog]

Text: She can be lovely, but terrifying’s fair too. You should tell her what you’re worried about and she’ll probably work with you. Just hurting your sub doesn’t make you look like a good dominant.

Text: You might feel like you need to fight it, yeah. That’s why practice would help.

Text: Do you want to practice with us? I’ll ask Mark but I’m sure he’ll be okay with it, we’ve dommed people together before. Sort of, anyway. 

Text: Would you be okay with that?

[blue-james]

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - I'll definitely make sure to be open and honest with her. I believe she's relatively aware of how new I am to the whole thing, but I'll be more specific. ]

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - I would really, really appreciate that, Milo, seriously. ]

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - Thank you. ] 

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - I trust you, and since you trust Mark, I trust him as well. ]

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - I just have no idea what to expect or how my body will react or whatever. I think I know my hard limits and probably soft too, but I have no idea what my kinks are. ]

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - Seriously, thank you. ]

[redroseryan]

Ah, I see. Give yourself some credit, you’re obviously better at this than you think. It’s supposed to get easier with time, I hear.

[blue-james]

I can fake my way through conversations pretty easily -- it's just when it comes to the actual submitting part... That's... Yeah.

[red-milo-blog]

[ text to ; Grumpy Cat - Hey, can we talk when you've got a minute? ]

Text: Of course. What’s up?

[red-milo-blog]

Text: Deep breaths.

Text: Subbing’s not always a bad thing, keep that in mind. It can be really great when it’s with someone you trust.

Text: Less great when it’s exam time, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it.

Text: If you practice before the exam it might be easier. 

[blue-james]

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - Yeah. Someone I trust. I'm sure Regina is lovely, but I really don't know her, and she's sort of terrifying. I don't think she'll hurt me and I'm sure she's a great Dominant it's just... ]

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - For my first time, you know? ]

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - What if I'm hopelessly terrible at it? I'm just afraid of my natural instincts kicking in and me fighting against my Dominant and fucking things up for all of us involved. ]

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - I just don't know what to do. ]

[blue-james]

Private.

[sirconnorwilde]

Right now? Submitting is the easiest for me, it’s the most immediately natural and I take to it quickly. I’m… getting used to the idea of dominating, but submitting for the time being is like, generally better for me.

[blue-james]

I'm hoping I'll get used to the idea of subbing. I just... I can't imagine giving myself completely to another person like that -- as horrible as it sounds. But, hey, if you find a Dominant to claim you, then you don't have to Dom at all, really.

[sirconnorwilde]

I totally get it. I’m a switch, so I’m supposed to be equally good, or at least relatively skilled in doming and submitting and I think I might already like one more than the other, so it’s kind of a toss up. We’re kind of in the same boat with that, I reckon.

[blue-james]

Which one do you prefer, if you don't mind me asking? 

[battlcborn]

Excellent— you bring the paint and I’ll bring the poster board. We’ll tackle this middle school style. 

Oh, I have no idea what the feeling is. I was just being a smart ass. It might go away really quickly. What is the feeling? 

[blue-james]

Throwback Thursday, man. Perfect. I have a shitton of paint so.

A weird twisting in the pit of my stomach -- nothing feels just right just yet.

[red-milo-blog]

[ text to ; Grumpy Cat - Hey, can we talk when you've got a minute? ]

Text: Of course. What’s up?

[blue-james]

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - I'm incredibly nervous about my exam. ]

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - I'm incredibly nervous about submitting in general. ]

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - I'm incredibly nervous about everything really. ]

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - I think you know this, but, I've never subbed before. ]

[ text to; Grumpy Cat - So. Yeah. ]