Human went to a conference for 2 days, kitty missed him. (via DangerWallet)
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@blueeyedcuddles
Human went to a conference for 2 days, kitty missed him. (via DangerWallet)
scottnoblethemetacrisis:
Reinette froze when she felt 20 pounds of cat land on her back and let out a sigh. “Cats.” She should have expected this.
Turning back to the pile of junk she found a half tuned beacon and grinned. “Farah my dear heart give me a screen? And I need one with a USB port.” The ceiling opened over head and Reinette started back upright. “I’m about to ruin your perch mister.” She warned, standing up as a computer monitor dropped from the hole in the ceiling, setting in front of Reinette as she fell into a chair.
Then she started tinkering. “Now just… I need Dad’s signal.” She huffed, turning to the screen, pulling a wire from a pile on the floor connecting monitor to beacon.
After a minute of clicking the screen went black, then began to stream neon green symbols. The red head then turnt to the half done beacon in her hand. green lettering started flashing gold.
“Ahh …” The beacon started flashing, and as more gold appeared, the beacon’s flash increased in frequency.
“… Hah!” The beacon lit up solid red and Reinette bounced pumping her fist. “I’m callin’ you down Jean-Paul come say hi!”
A startled chirp preceded Joss pushing off of Reinette, desperately trying to reach his perch. Claws dug into the carpet, hind legs pedalled, and he eventually managed to hoist himself up with a series of rather scolding meows. To top it off: Joscelyn began cleaning himself in a clearly I am irritated at you manner, the cat equivalent of a disdainful sniff.
The girl was as clever as her father, it seemed. Didn’t stop Joss from prraowing loudly, trying to express his dissatisfaction with having his nap and then his perching disrupted, assuming his host could hear the damned cat.
scottnoblethemetacrisis:
Humming happily as she wondered the house, Reinette was snooping about, looking for traces of anyone besides her father living in the house. Scott wasn’t one to settle down; that was the same as stopping after all, not unless he had a lover. And she was curious. The people who ended up in her father’s bed always ended up so interesting.
“Oh wow dad, is this really necessary?” - She’d found his computer room, a big room made to look very small by the massive amount of stuff left everywhere. “Hmm. Maybe there’s something in here I can use…” Setting the cat down she dug in face first into a pile of stuff.
It was almost funny, how delicately the hefty cat moved as he poked his nose about, double-checking who’d been in this room, before following RJ. What was she looking for? Stretching on his hind legs, Joss pawed his way up her leg, contemplating the wisdom of trying to climb up on Reinette to have a higher vantage point. “Mrrrrraow! Aow!”
There was a cat perch so when Joss was in feline form, he wasn’t just directly in Scott’s way all the time, and a chair with cat fur and one of Joss’ sweaters alike on it. But it was more fun to ignore these and try using Scott’s daughter for a perch.
scottnoblethemetacrisis:
“Your a handsome big guy eh?” RJ cooed, lightly tapping his paw before sinking a hand into his fur along his back. “Hey hey pretty guy, want to come explore with me?” She picked him up and with a hand petting along his head and neck, started wondering the house. “I wonder what your name is cutie pie.” She mused idly. “I am Reinette Jacqueline Noble - bit of a mouthful eh? Yea, blame dad. Speaking of dad, when do you think he’ll be home?”
Being picked up had the 18 lbs. cat sort of melt. Quite literally. His body went limp aside from a faint, curious twitch of his tail as he drooped over the girl’s shoulder, chin on his front paws. “Mmmmrrr.” His head lolled to bump against her jaw before a low purr rumbled through his dense, fluffy body. To be honest: he had no idea when Scott was coming back. Joss was Scott’s companion, not his keeper.
scottnoblethemetacrisis:
Reinette Noble blinked, staring down at the pile of fluff on her dad’s floor. Well, this is what she got for just dropping in without a word. Dad never seemed to mind, but she’d caught him with his pants down so many times now… And now this.
Did this version of her dad have a pet? Slowly walking closer she crouched, pulling blood red hair out of her face as she reached out, holding a few fingers out for the kitty to sniff.
“Prrrrraow?” He cautiously extended his neck to bump his nose against her fingers, sniffing a couple of times. She smelled...like Scott, but not like Scott. Not like the food he ate, the things he drank, didn’t have traces of Joss in her skin. But she didn’t seem like she was about to hurt him, so he lightly batted at her hand a few times with a paw, claws retracted, and squirmed on the floor. “Maaaaaaaow”
Down and Dirty
Send me one of the following to find out some juicy details about my muse…
👅-Would they rather give or receive oral sex? 👠-Do they watch pornography? If so, what kind? 💋-Do they use tongue when they kiss? 😈-Favorite sex position? 👎🏻-What is an absolute deal breaker in the bedroom? 🐶-Favorite pet name they like to be called? 👄-Do they swallow? 👙-Favorite outfit in the bedroom? 💦-Best place for their partner to cum on/in? 🌶-Most sensitive place on their body? 👑-Daddy kink, yes or no? 💍-Ever had an affair? 🏢-Most public place they’ve had sex, or would like to have sex? 🍒-When and how did they lose their virginity, if they have?
"firefly" starter prompts
“Here’s how it is…”
“If you’ve got a job for us, we can do it. Don’t much care what it is.”
“We’re gonna die.”
“This landing may get interesting.”
“I remember talking the feds out of telling my father. Or… or paying the feds out of telling my father. I get fuzzy on the aspect…”
“The world was ours, you know?”
“I got stupid, the money was too good.”
“None of it means a damn thing.”
“I’m a big girl. Just tell me.”
“She understands. She doesn’t comprehend.”
“If I want a lot of medical jargon, I’ll talk to a doctor.”
“There were no feds… until I started singing.”
“I think I’ve been kidnapped.”
“Thank God you’re safe.”
“What are we gonna do, clone him?”
“They won’t be expecting it, ‘cause they ain’t insane.”
“If it moves, shoot it.”
“It’s okay to leave them to die.”
“No power in the ‘verse can stop me.”
“We’re still flying.”
“So… you guys have met.”
“You made me love you, and then you… I shaved off my beard for you, devil woman!”
“That’s not much.”
“Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!”
“We have done the impossible, and that makes us mighty.”
“Ha ha ha! Mine is an evil laugh!”
“If everything were right, we’d be in jail.”
“Something ain’t right.”
“Everything I have is right here.”
“We are just too pretty for God to let us die.”
“Why are you so fascinated by him?”
“Didn’t she shoot you once?”
“You’re gonna come with us.”
“I’m standing right here.”
“That man is psychotic!”
“Mercy is the mark of a great man. …Guess I’m just a good man. …Well, I’m alright.”
“You’ve only got to scare him.”
“I had the perfect crime lined up.”
“This is all your fault, you know.”
“I might as well become a petty thief like you!”
“Anyone remember her comin’ at me with a butcher’s knife?”
“Girl knows things. Things she shouldn’t. Things she couldn’t.”
“Well, as a rule, I say, girlfolk ain’t to be trusted.”
“I’m not going to live there. There’s no place for me there any more than there is for you.”
“I believe in something greater than myself. A better world. A world without sin.”
“I’m… trying to think of a way for you to be cruder. I just… it’s not coming.”
“She’s a liar.”
“Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket…”
“Pain is scary.”
“I don’t like the idea of someone hearin’ what I’m thinkin’.”
“She’s just a kid! And she just wants to be a… kid.”
“There’s… there’s nobody that can help me.”
“You ever been shot?”
“Nothing here is what it seems.”
“I don’t murder children.”
“I’m a monster. What I do is evil. I have no illusions about it, but it must be done.”
“I call it Vera.”
“He’s really very… gentle, and fuzzy. We’re becoming fast friends.”
“What am I, your advocate?”
“I need this man to tear all my clothes off.”
“How come you didn’t turn on me?”
“Relax. I’m not going for a gun or anything.”
“You oughta be shot. Or stabbed. Lose a leg.
“You and lipstick are a dangerous combination, if I recall.”
“I’m trying to put this as delicately as I can… How do I know you won’t kill me in my sleep?”
“Drunks are so cute.”
“You will burn in a very special level of Hell. The level reserved for child molesters and people that talk at the theater.”
“Also? I can kill you with my brain…”
“I’m your wife.”
“Remember. If anything happens to me or if you don’t hear from me within the hour, you take this ship and you come and you rescue me.”
“You understand, I’m sort of on the clock here, it’s frustrating. “
“They make psychiatrists get psychoanalyzed before they can get certified, but they don’t make a surgeon get cut on. That seem right to you?”
“I can’t keep track of her when she’s not incorporeally possessing a spaceship; don’t look at me.”
“If you’re being a gentleman, I may die of shock.”
“Ready to get off this heap, back to civilized life?”
“I don’t think you’d be safe.”
“If you die can I have your share?”
“I think you’re having a problem with your brain being missing.”
“You paid money for this? On purpose?”
“I was aiming for his head.”
“How did your brain even learn human speech? I’m just so curious.”
“Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction.”
“To hell with this, I’m gonna live!”
“We meant it for the best… to make people safer.”
“If you can’t do somethin’ smart… do somethin’ right.”
“Big damn heroes!”
“We’re not thieves… well, we are thieves, but the point is we’re not taking what’s his.”
“We’re robbing the place, not occupying it.”
“Goin’ on a year now I ain’t had nothin’ twixt my nethers weren’t run on batteries!”
“It’s a wonder you’re still alive.”
“Well, I appreciate your honesty. Not, you know, a lot, but…”
“I hate to bring up our imminent arrest during your crazy time, but we gotta go.”
“You must be loving this.”
“You willing to die for that belief?”
“You take care of me, [other character]. You’ve always taken care of me. My turn.”
“You won’t tell anyone about me breaking down.”
“Boy, sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don’t you think?!”
“You just may be the most gullible fool I ever marked.”
“Yep—it’s a cow fetus.”
“You are such a boob.”
“Scared her away again, did you?”
“My food is problematic.”
“I think it’s the sweetest hat ever.”
“What’d y’all order a dead guy for?”
“I didn’t know you were out there.”
“Stealth—you may have heard of it.”
“First rule of battle, little one… don’t ever let them know where you are.”
“A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he’s not afraid of anything.”
“Yes, I’ve read a poem. Try not to faint.”
“She’s our witch.”
“It sounds like the finest party I can imagine getting paid to go to.”
“If I’m gonna wear a dress, I want something with some slink.”
“I can hurt you.”
“Look at the fluffy one!”
“I can’t abide useless people.”
“Let’s be bad guys.”
“I aim to misbehave.”
“Do you know what your sin is?”
“I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.”
“We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then… explode.”
“Half of these men wish you were draped on their arm.”
“I must be losing my undeniable allure.”
“You think you’re better than other people!”
“These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How ‘bout that?”
“Yes, sir, Cap’n Tightpants.”
“Don’t fall asleep now. Sleepiness is weakness of character, ask anyone.”
“I know him. And I think he’s a psychotic low-life.”
“Don’t you just love this party? Everything’s so fancy and they have some kind of hot cheese over there!”
“Call me if anyone interesting shows up.”
“I got stabbed! Right here!”
“You’ll have to rely on your winning personality to get women. God help you.”
“I’m a little appalled at her taste.”
“Don’t make faces.”
“The little man loved fire.”
“Don’t tell ‘em what I did.”
“Doesn’t the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing?”
“Don’t care much for fancy parties. Too rough.”
“I will not have it in my house. But, since your mother’s already ordered you one, I guess I should give up the fantasy that this is my house!”
“Next time we smuggle stock, let’s make it something smaller.”
“Can I start getting sexed already?”
“Look, they got boy whores! Isn’t that thoughtful?”
“Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion.”
“Tell me I’m pretty.”
“Well… my sister’s a ship. We had a complicated childhood.”
“Nothing worse than a monster who thinks he’s right with God.”
“Well, I’m not sure now is the best time to bring a tiny little helpless person into our lives.”
“I ain’t so afraid of losing something that I ain’t gonna try to have it.”
“You and I would make one beautiful baby. And I want to meet that child one day. Period.”
“How many babies have you actually delivered?”
“I’m just waiting to see if I pass out. Long story.”
“Gonna have to explain that to me someday.”
“I don’t care what you believe. Just believe it.”
“We’re lost. Lost in the woods.”
“Does that seem right to you?”
“Keep the money.”
“Get this man to the infirmary at once.”
“Seems like a lovely little community of kidnappers.”
“This isn’t our home.”
“This place gives me an uncomfortableness.”
“You folks are all insane.”
“Would you be killed in your sleep like an ailing pet?”
“You gave up everything you had…”
“I’ll get better. I’ll get better.”
“It’s been a big day, what with the abduction, and all.”
“WHOO-HOO! I’M RIGHT HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O’ ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH!”
“Someone’s carryin’ a bullet for you right now, doesn’t even know it. The trick is, die of old age before it finds you.”
“When you can’t run anymore, you crawl, and when you can’t do that, well… you find somebody to carry you.”
“They’d have to be insane to follow us through here.”
“Sorry! Didn’t mean to startle.”
“Have you completely lost your mind?”
“Well, you were busy trying to get yourself lit on fire. It happens.”
“Oh, sweetie, don’t feel bad. He makes everybody cry. He’s like a monster.”
“Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill ‘em right back!”
“You are no one’s property!”
“Remember that sex we were planning to have, ever again?”
“Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly comin’ to a middle.”
“Someone starts poking around, shoot ‘em. Y’know. Politely.”
“I realize certain words were exchanged. Also, certain… bullets.”
“What we need is a distraction.”
“Oh, I’m gonna go to the special hell.”
“…I think we’ve lied enough.”
“You’re amazing. Who are you?”
“Some people juggle geese!”
“Promise me you’re gonna kill me soon.”
“What’s your real name?”
“I knew you let her kiss you.”
“Enemies? You? No, how can it be?”
“No one comes through here that doesn’t have to.”
“My God. You’re like a trained ape… without the training!”
“This must be what going mad feels like.”
“I swear… when it’s appropriate.”
“What are we up to, sweetheart?”
“I’m fixing your Bible.”
“It’s broken. It doesn’t make sense.”
“Noah’s ark is a problem.”
“You guys had a riot… on account of me? My very own riot?”
“You know, with the exception of one deadly and unpredictable midget, this girl is the smallest cargo I’ve ever had to transport, yet by far the most troublesome.”
“You are not the man I met a year ago!”
“That’s why I never kiss ‘em on the mouth…”
“But she was naked! And all… articulate!”
“I got a dumbass stick that sounds like it’s raining, how come you got a wife?”
“Oh, you stupid son of a…”
“I know your name, jackass!”
“He bothers me. I don’t know what it is.”
“If I wanted schooling, I’d have gone to school!”
“Hey, free soup!”
“I am a large, semi-muscular man!”
“I don’t belong… dangerous, like you.”
“He just has this idiotic sense of nobility, you know?”
“He can never just let things go.”
“You are very much lacking in imagination!”
“I threw up on your bed.”
“You have no idea! And you never will.”
“We’re dead in the water.”
“Don’t be afraid.”
“Sometimes a thing gets broke, can’t be fixed.”
“You don’t have to die alone.”
“He takes so much looking after.”
“You know I would never have tried to save [other character]’s life if I had known there was a dinner party at risk!”
“Let’s go back to the part where [other character] gets knocked out by a ninety-pound girl, ‘cause I don’t think that’s ever gonna get old.”
“Everybody dies alone.”
“You know, you ain’t quite right.”
“Not as deceiving as a low-down… dirty… deceiver.”
“At last, we can retire and give up this life of crime.”
“I’m a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar.”
“We’re gonna explode!? I don’t wanna explode!”
“She is starting to damage my calm!”
“Hell, I’ll kill a man in a fair fight… or if I think he’s gonna start a fair fight. Or if he bothers me. Or if there’s a woman. Or if I’m gettin’ paid. Mostly only when I’m gettin’ paid.”
“You guys always bring me the very best violence.”
“You shut the hell up right now, or so help me, I will shut you up.”
“The next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face.”
“Can I come in?”
“It’s time to wake up.”
“Ah, the pitter-patter of tiny feet in huge combat boots…”
“One of you is gonna fall and die, and I’m not cleaning it up!”
“We just have to find the right treatment for you.”
“How do you feel now?”
“I think he’s gonna bring her flowers.”
“I’ll be in my bunk.”
“You are so lovely.”
“They look so glamorous together.”
“I swallowed a bug.”
“What was that?”
“People don’t like to be meddled with. We tell them what to do, what to think. Don’t run, don’t walk. We’re in their homes and in their heads and we haven’t the right. We’re meddlesome.”
“I aim to misbehave.”
“Well… here I am.”
ragdoll_monkey
@spelling-error005
Bioshock Infinite Sentence Starters
A mix of things said in the BIOSHOCK INFINITE games.
❝ I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. ❞ ❝ Are you going to just sit there? ❞ ❝ You expect me to shoulder the burden? ❞ ❝ Not all debts can be repaid. ❞ ❝ I’m not busting down any doors. ❞ ❝ I know why you’ve come. ❞ ❝ I know how it ends. ❞ ❝ I’d greatly appreciate it if you would assist. ❞ ❝ One day, a man came to you and offered you a chance at redemption. ❞ ❝ Stop it. Will you stop it!? ❞ ❝ I’m not here to hurt you. ❞ ❝ Who are you? ❞ ❝ I never find that as satisfying as I’d imagined. ❞ ❝ Are you real? ❞ ❝ Feats of wonderment are at the tips of your fingers. ❞ ❝ I’m real enough. ❞ ❝ You don’t want to be here when he gets here. ❞ ❝ Bring us the girl, and wipe away the debt. ❞ ❝ This will end in blood. ❞ ❝ It always ends in blood. ❞ ❝ You killed those people. ❞ ❝ I can’t believe you did that. ❞ ❝ You’re a monster! ❞ ❝ What did you think was gonna happen? ❞ ❝ You think people like that are just gonna let you walk away? ❞ ❝ What am I? ❞ ❝ It’s a bad place. ❞ ❝ From here on, it’s only gonna get worse. ❞ ❝ I’m not you. ❞ ❝ What about me? ❞ ❝ Did I ever even have a choice? Did you? ❞ ❝ I will never escape it. ❞ ❝ It’s like a wheel of blood spinning round and round. ❞ ❝ You’ve come to wipe your slate clean. ❞ ❝ Time will walk backwards before you find redemption. ❞ ❝ Some sins can’t be forgiven. ❞ ❝ The deal is off. You hear me? ❞ ❝ It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t do anything. ❞ ❝ Leave me alone. Can’t you just leave me alone!? ❞ ❝ I heard you screaming. ❞ ❝ I was coming to get you. ❞ ❝ Put the gun down. ❞ ❝ I don’t understand. ❞ ❝ I never should have left you. ❞ ❝ Shut down the machine. ❞ ❝ What are the odds? ❞ ❝ We’re not animals, you know? ❞ ❝ Please just don’t leave me here. ❞ ❝ We’ve got nothing but time. ❞
Send me ₩ for my muse to sit in your muse's lap
Reblog if it's alright for your muse to be given Christmas presents by other people's muses
Evey was chatting animated on her phone, sipping her venti double caramel macchiato with coconut milk when she slammed into a set of strong legs, sending the tiny female sprawling on the sidewalk.
@smolevey | oops THAT’S COFFEE | v: little red riding cat
Oh.
Oh shite.
That was a small person.
Like…like if one of those Starbucks minis were to be made into a person…that was what slammed into his legs. Er. Who slammed into his legs.
“ ‘M terribleh sorreh, mess,” Joss exclaimed, brows furrowing and a sheepish grin crossing his freckled face as he extended his hand to the diminutive woman now sprawled on the ground. “I dinnae mean t’send ye t’d’kerb. Ach…or t’make ye wear what was probableh a loveleh drink…”
smolevey:
Evey chuckled, attempting to brush the coffee off her sweater. “Its okay, mister. I wasn’t pay attention either, so no harm no foul.” She took his hand and let him pull her up. Green eyes went up and she grinned up at the ginger. “Evey.”
He grinned in return and squeezed her hand gently. “Joscelyn. Though some call me Joss. F’some reason, et t’rows people for a loop, me bein’ named Joscelyn an’ all. Y’sure I cannae buy ye a new drink?”
Things I have learned about prostate orgasms this morning
I was doing a bit of research (for fic, obviously). This reddit thread is an excellent resource, but not the only one.
For prostate only stimulation, orgasms tend to be dry, but not always.
Multiple orgasms are possible and there is no refractory period if there is no ejaculation.
Prostate milking and prostate orgasms are not the same thing. With prostate milking, the penis tends to be flaccid and fluid comes out without an orgasm.
Combined penis stimulation and prostate stimulation results in a normal, but usually much more intense orgasm with ejaculation.
You can massage the prostate externally and achieve orgasm, but it’s more difficult as it requires a lot of pressure on the perianal region.
It can take practice to “learn” to have prostate orgasms. Sometimes it takes an hour, sometimes it takes 5 minutes. Reported times vary a lot!
There tends to be a substantial, long-lasting afterglow post-prostate orgasm(s), especially after a long session. This is contrasted with “normal” orgasms, where after ejaculation, any sexual interest goes to zero.
Most people seem find it very enjoyable, but were initially very hesitant to try it.
The feeling of the orgasm itself is different from an orgasm from penis-only stimulation.
People seem to prefer finishing off a session with ejaculation. After extended prostate stimulation, there is usually a lot of ejaculate in the final orgasm. I quote, from the link at the start of this post, “Get ready to clean up, because the amount of cum that will come out is unbelievable.“
Experiences vary a lot from person to person. Some people have prostate orgasms easily, some don’t. Some ejaculate every time, and some never ejaculate at all. Intensity of feelings varies. Time taken to achieve orgasm varies. Some never succeed in having orgasms purely through prostate stimulation.
This has been a PSA.
I feel I have learned things today. Learning is good. I like learning.
Reblog this post if you are a fandomless OC roleplay blog
You shall be added to the roleplay blog masterlist.
Like You Mean It (2015)