Alright let’s talk about remadora because I hate that pairing with my entire being.
Absolutely no hate to people who like it but remadora is one of the most problematic canon ships in Harry Potter. The only reason it’s not the most problematic one is because snily has the first place
And no I don’t say it because I ship wolfstar. The fact that I ship wolfstar has nothing to do with why I don’t like remadora. I would still hate it if Sirius didn’t even exist and wolfstar wasn’t a thing at all.
First of all, Remus. did. not. want. that. relationship.
He was guilt tripped into it.
And don’t say “he didn’t want because he didn’t think he deserved her. Not because he didn’t love her”
Yes, he didn’t want a relationship because of the reasons based on his self worth issues and anxiety.
BUT THOSE ARE STILL VALID REASONS THAT SHOULD BE RESPECTED
Because anxiety and depression doesn’t magically cure itself when you “find the right person”
In fact, they might even get worse. And this is exactly what we see in Remus. He hated himself even more because he thought he ruined her life too.
Also their marriage was so rushed. They have a fight about Remus not wanting to be with her but then two months later they’re married?
I’m absolutely not saying she forced him. But he definitely felt so much public pressure into marrying her. He even says it himself that he “made that decision against his better judgment,” that it was a “grave mistake” and that he “regretted it ever since.”
You can’t tell me the only reason he felt that way was because he thought “she deserved better.” That could surely be a factor, but definitely wasn’t the only reason.
I mean come on guys we all know “It’s not you it’s me” and “you deserve better then me” are the top two break up excuses. People find it hard to say “I don’t love you anymore” so they just twist their words.
Like- he literally tried to walk out on them when he found out she was pregnant. He only went back because Harry told him to. And if it takes a seventeen year old telling you for you not leave your pregnant wife alone in the middle of a war, you should probably take a second look into that relationship.
Also do you really think Tonks greeted him with open arms when he came back? What Remus did probably put some walls between them and definitely left a huge scar in their relationship.
Which is why, this relationship harms Tonks as much as it does to Remus.
We can all agree Remadora is just a big assassination on Tonks’ character.
She’s a cheerful, independent person who has a great role in the Order. But then she falls into depression because the guy she liked didn’t love him back.
It’s completely understandable to have depression while you’re in the middle of a war, but she’s depressed just because Remus didn’t want her. And then her depression magically cures once she marries him. Then she immediately gets pregnant and stops fighting for the Order.
You can tell how she changed only by looking at her looks. That marriage just ruined her character.
And it wouldn’t take so long for her to realize how this relationship effects her.
Trust me, I’ve seen so many relationships like this in my extended family. The woman who’s full of life and cheer marries this older guy who’s so distant and unwilling in their relationship.
And every time, they either have a horrible divorce or the man simply becomes invisible in the relationship while woman breaks under all the pressure of trying to make a one sided relationship work, taking care of the house, and kids all at the same time.
Because like it or not, Remadora is a one sided relationship. The only reason Remus stays is because of all the public pressure people put on him.
It’s not a healthy relationship by any means. And all it does is to harm both sides.
