I'm no writer,but life is a testimony to tell all.

[bluegrayandgay]

Grief is an understatement.

[bluegrayandgay]

Spare me some time, spare not a lifetime. Somehow, in some ways, find yourself a small space and let it take you in a different pace.

[bluegrayandgay]

Surrender

There are things you need to let go all at once. Most of the time, we let go of it little by little. Piece by piece or when we are fully ready then we let go. But, tonite I realized why I couldn’t let go. Because I am still trying to hold back by just partially letting go of the things I should have let go all at once. It’s not very easy. A battle with your mind actually. Holding back, should I let go, should I keep it. Thoughts like that. Until you have to decide it is time to let go and never look back. Again, not very easy. But once you do, you will feel like you’ve gone one step forward.

Surrender. It is not very easy to do neither to even hear. But guess what? We all have to do it, one way or another. So keep the faith, courage and I pray for boldness to come upon you. Just surrender.

[bluegrayandgay]

That time of the year, when you see and reflect to the things that are happening beyond your control. Actually, you have control with but you chose not to. That time of the year, when you want to make things right. To start fresh. To start anew. That time of the year, when you have to let go of the thoughts and possibilities of you making a wrong decisions. That time of the year, when you can hope that all will fall into its places.

Once again, you come to a point of choosing to lose the battle even the battle is not starting yet. You put water in a small fire even before you see it flaming red. You have to choose the right thing. At the end of the day choosing a different path from being right will make you suffer, will make you feel empty.

And so here I am once again choosing the right path. I am not sure if God will allow me to run away this time. Sometimes God is not changing the situation not because he can’t but because He wants to change you. How am I running away again? Why not choose to change for the better and so that when the same situation comes, you know that eventually it will change it’s course?

[bluegrayandgay]

When things don’t fall into places, what do you do? This time has finally arrived. When you fall in love with the person you’ve been praying for. It broke my heart. And now like what I said before.. I will let you go. Maybe this is how God designed our life. We will never be. My lifes’ probably design for someone better. But truly for now, my heart is broken. My body is shaking. My mind can’t believe it.

I almost say I do not want to believe in dreams anymore. I do not want to look forward. But then again, times like this when you do not get what you’ve dreamt of. Times like this.. when all you can do is to move on and move forward.

Happy you found your the one. And now, I’m off to where my life can take me.

[bluegrayandgay]

When all platforms seems unreachable...

[bluegrayandgay]

Things will be better soon. Remember that there is time for everything... #lifeisatestimony #sky #blueandwhite #cloudstagram #hope #lookup #faith #believe https://www.instagram.com/p/CRJUPnljntT/?utm_medium=tumblr

[bluegrayandgay]

When love teaches you to forgive. ❤️ #sky #light #blue #love #forgiveness #time #letgoletgod #contentment #liftedlife https://www.instagram.com/p/CQtRfehjBZw/?utm_medium=tumblr

[bluegrayandgay]

I loved it when you say you love driving, traffic or not. And you hate being a passenger. I on the other hand have the opposite. I don’t drive, but I love being a passenger...traffic or not. My eyes sparkle and my stomach had butterflies when I found out about how you loves to drive months ago but to find out even traffic or not?, I have the same mantra. Traffic or not I love being in a passenger seat.

I wish to know you personally, even as acquaintance. We have a lot of common friends, meeting each other is not impossible. But the thing is, I’m trying to avoid you. My heart skipped everytime I think of bumping or meeting you. My knees get weak having the thought of coming across with you. And I feel so cold just having that thoughts. Am I insane?

Please tell me we will meet soon. I pray to God for a perfect timing. And if it is His will, I am more than happy to embrace it. ❤️❤️❤️

[bluegrayandgay]

Be ready. Be brave. Be confident. Be you.

On to the next chapter...

[bluegrayandgay]

When I asked God if I could run away so I can move on to some certain events in my life. He gave me hands (so many hands) to hold on to instead, so I can stay. I cant imagine how He pulled strings that for the couple of weeks I have been busy. I no longer know what my priority is: Work or life events 😂 God made sure that at this time I can be more available with my life events..to breathe, to heal and to know that running away is not the answer. Truly, you will not know who will take you for granted. It might be anyone. One thing is certain.. You just have to know your WORTH. It’s like being the one sitting on the passengers seat, it might look easy and comfortable but your worth is being there accompanying the one who is driving wherever it might be.

Let’s take that chance of seeing ahead than looking back. ❤️

[bluegrayandgay]

A smile can paint a thousand lies.

[bluegrayandgay]

I often say the wrong words and then I regret and then I stop. What I often say, my hands can’t write. What I can write, I can’t say. One day, what will I write, will be what will I say. For now, look from within and figure it out.

[bluegrayandgay]

Please give me a way, so I can let you go.

[thehopefulquotes]

“I don’t regret us but I wouldn’t do it again.”

— Unknown

[bluegrayandgay]

Left me hanging (Again)

As much as I want to laugh about it nor forget about it, I just can’t. I wonder if I deserve to be left behind without any words at all?! I wonder how many times more this will happen? I guess life is too complicated for me to at least expect decent man not to walk away just like that. I never ask for anything but at least do not leave me hanging. My mind says, “It’s okay.” My heart says, “Why? What’s wrong.”

Two different perspective. And just me continuously wondering why I am left behind without a word. I asked God why today and I end up in James 4:2,3. “You do not have because you do not ask. You do not receive because you asked wrongly.” And I realized, I never ask, I just go ahead in my own free will. Truly, life is a work in progress. So, me mending my heart? My fault. I could have ask God for a decent man. Someone who is God fearing. Someone who is led by God.

Again.. lesson learned. Ask God and be guided.

[bluegrayandgay]

Confidently Safe

I’m back. For the past month, I have been able to encounter the new normal being with this pandemic that is happening. Truly, this situation has brought us too many changes, you wear mask, you social distance, you are aware of who you are going to talk to and you even trace what, where and when your acitvity was take place. In this situation, we are blinded in what’s actually ahead of us.

But God showed me how I can become confidently safe knowing that His grace is over flowing day by day. As I travel everyday, from home to work and vice versa, I felt a bit of worry at first. I wonder what if I will get Covid by travelling everyday just to be at work? I thought of how or what can I do? But God ultimately remind me how we should trust him and his words. That he will never leave us nor forsake us. That if we ask in faith with prayer, it will be given to us. Truly God gave me the confidence to be at work every day, without worrying. I enjoyed the peace God given me not to even worry because he will surely protect me. I am gratefully in awe, how God moves mightily with everyone who put their faith in Him.

How about you? Still worried about what’s happening around? I am not saying for you not to, I am simply saying to put your faith and trust to Christ Jesus, that he will make a way for you and me to overcome this season. And you’ll see how God will move in your way. I pray that you also can find the peace I have right now, that confidence of being safe in this pandemic. Accept God as your Lord and Savior. Let him lead your way and you will be surprise what’s going to happen.

Again, may you be confidently safe as you journey every day with the grace of God. You are blessed to be alive.