what

NSFW.

[blurred-at-first]

You take a good look at her, and realized you’ve memorized all her features. You know how it transforms to compose different personas, depending on what the situation demands. You realize that she looks both the same and oh so different, and yet she has always been stunning and wonderful and amazing in your eyes, and your breath hitches at this realization. Your breath hitches and before you were sure it was because she left you breathless; now it’s that, and more. You notice the breath has grown into a sigh, for everything that was beautiful and damaging, for the hopeful tomorrow that you could let your guard down again completely around her, and for the bittersweet realization that this is where it has led to. Your paths are intertwined and yet branch off at an important point, and yet run closely parallel to each other, with just enough distance to immediately see how the other is doing and cheer for them, and to run through if in the case the other needs help. You are grateful that both of you have weathered the shitstorm and now have found a tentative calmness brought about by compromise, understanding, open communication, and maturity, and you know that this is altogether another type of love. The genuine kind, the kind you never knew you could give someone after everything that has happened. You decide that this love is worth keeping and protecting, that maybe there are certain people in your life you just care for, no matter what. So far, that’s what you make of it. You hope that this one lasts, and although it’s not where you initially wanted it to be, both of you know it’s for the best. She asks you what’s on your mind, and you smile and shake you head, and release the sigh quietly. You take a good look at her and try to be content with this.

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Eventually you just get used to it, that you’re not the thought behind the romantic whimsical posts anymore.

[blurred-at-first]

Does the pain ever subside? I think the better answer is you just get numbed by it; you see things, you face the truth, and you just get used to it.

[blurred-at-first]

Your mere existence is my trigger. Unfortunately you seem to have made an indelible mark on a life I consider precious, so I just have to get used you.

[blurred-at-first]

Dear self, There will be a lot more moments that feel like this. There will be a lot more things in this world that will make your heart beat erratically and your mind race with uncontrollable and uncomfortable thoughts, that would make you want to run away and scream into the nignt just to wash it all away. There will be a lot of suddenly waking up in the middle of the night at 2am, and desperately wanting to get back to sleep just to drown the voices inside your head. Your body will demand sleep, your eyes will beg it of you too, and your heart, despite it racing and beating loudly, protesting that you see this through with eyes wide open, will be the biggest liar during these moments. Your mind will flash back the night you spent at the backseat of your car, and make you remember how it felt to be so small and so insignificant and so tired, and it hopes that you have enough reason left for the rest of you to choose sleep and the promise of oblivion than being awake during these times. Convince your feet to stay, to not find the familiar routine of running away, and to help you be steadfast in the decision to choose yourself. Your throat may offer you options such as screams, bile, or sobs, but I hope we both have the fortitude to politely decline, or at the most to choose a burp or a drink of water if it insists. I know your eyes will offer you what you would consider as the best and most tempting deal so far during these moments: to cry. Sometimes it is wise to take it, sometimes the mind will also make you reconsider the energy costs of spending that much for someone again. In any case, when you do take that deal, be prepared for the tiny fineprint of aftereffects it assumes you already know, with severe headache and painful puffy eyes topping the long list. You won’t change overnight, but every fiber in your being begs of you: survive this night and the similar ones that will come after. Eventually you will get the hang of it. The morning is too beautiful to give it up.

[targaryenwomenshoe-deactivated2]

Since 2016 is shit

All I ask for 2017 is find a girl who look at me like this:

[blurred-at-first]

2018 keep up tayo uy asan na

[scratchingmemories]

shannon and cammie are so pro I would NEVER go to a party where my ex girlfriend would be with her new girlfriend and also bring my new girlfriend and have fun and take pics together

like

how

or maybe I just have a hard time letting go of people and moving on from them

but they used to be so in love 

I wouldn’t be able to handle something like that even a million years after the breakup

[blurred-at-first]

GERL DI KO ALAM SANG PLANETA NILA HINUGOT YUNG STRENGTH AND MATURITY FOR THAT AS IN JUSQPU AKO NGA UMALIS NG LIB PUMASOK PA LANG SILA E

[capriking]

When you meet someone who tries their hardest to stick by you regardless of how difficult you are, keep them. Keep them at all costs because finding someone who cares enough to look past your flaws isn’t something that happens every day.

[blurred-at-first]

SAKETWOW

[helbigvevo]

2014 / 2016

[gaygirltubers]

Being in the closet vs being out

[gaygirltubers]

My Ex Called Me A Pillow Princess

[blurred-at-first]

GAGO HAHAHAHA SOBRANG LALA SHET #ShaCam pucha ansaket huhu

[rics-fandom-deactivated20260107]

You never understand too gay to function until you’re too gay to function

[jayeston]

I want something just like this.

[sentiomelior]

Prolly my favorite legit stolen photo of us. Hehe. Happy birthday to you, Eleanor! I admire your strength and softness. It’s a mystery how you’re able to touch lives the way you do, but I guess it’s because you have a big, big heart. 💙 Thank you for being my constant inspo and reminder to get up every morning and continue the fight, despite being both struggling grad students hehe. Hay, I must have saved a nation in my past life to deserve you. Let’s stay in each other’s lives 5ever, okay? Hehe. Love you, tough cookie! 💙🍪

[blurred-at-first]

She has always been the sweetest :’) thank you, beshie. Together or not at all! :)

[blurred-at-first]

nawalan na lang din siguro ako ng gana mag-twitter lalo na alam ko kayo din lang laman ng twitter, untagged photos, likes, at replies ng isa’t isa.

[blurred-at-first]

Probably the saddest Valentine’s season I have in Elbi. I know people are going to say that it’s up to me to spend it how I want to, but the past years I’ve been spending it with you and for this year, you have someone else. Walking around leisurely in the campus with him, watching bands, and all that. Sometimes i really just want to black out emotions.

[blurred-at-first]

Do yourself a favor and be content with what is there. Are you even in a position to ask for more?