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Kiana Khansmith

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oozey mess

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@boldlydelightfulwitch
[ Begin ID: A photo of a capybara on a beach. Black text on the photo reads "if you are seeing this / the curse is lifted / have a good day" / End ID ]
why do i get punished for everything i do when i have the purest intentions but the people i love hurt me all the time and im the one always apologising
I'm so ugly I should be dead
what doesnt kill u makes u want to die all the time
i wish i was a “love me loudly or don’t love me at all” person but i was cursed with abandonment issues so im a “love me however terribly and abusively you want just don’t leave me” person
"The clitoris exists, as for God, I don't know..."
Seen in Ivanjica, Serbia
The social forces that prevent you from being able to admit to your own desires in the safety of your own mind are far more evil than any desire you could have.
Unacted desires are fundamentally neutral, and you can't decide what to do about the things you want unless you can admit to yourself what they are in the first place. Everyone has desires that would hurt other people if they acted on them, but most people would not actually go out and do anything they know would cause harm. Far more harm is done in this world by people who are trying to pretend they can't possibly want anything they think is bad than people running around going "ehehehe I love hurting people!"
Providing people with a way of exploring the dark parts of ourselves in a way that cannot hurt anyone is one of the purposes of both fiction and kink.
All of us have a hungry, horny, angry, scared animal inside ourselves. You do not need to excuse or justify what that animal wants, it simply is. You cannot escape it. Lying to yourself about the animal that you are will only give you less control over it, not more.
No amount of praying to be repulsed by my sin ever helped me. It only made me hate parts of me that were normal and healthy and deserved to be loved. It erected barriers that prevented me from understanding myself and the world around me. You can go ahead and train your gag reflex to respond to your normal sexual impulses, but all that did to me was cause me to puke up the soul I was so desperately trying to prostrate. In my experience, you cannot use disgust as a roadmap to unrelenting love.
purity is a construct made to shame you
Gabriella and Troy first met 20 years ago on New Year's Eve 2005
It's such a strange and unique way of fucking up your kid when you at the same time a) treat them like a personal therapist giving them problems that are decades away from anything that they could handle, and expecting the kid to actually fix your grown up problems and to listen to your trauma.
And b) at the same time never give them any real outside world responsibility, making sure that they know as little as possible about how to actually survive in the real world, like paying bills, etc.
Meanwhile making sure but all of your child's self-worth is tied to their actions, and not who they are as a person.
It's a weird little vicious circle, that is so incredibly hard to outgrow, because like I know I'm not worthless just because there might be a time when I'm not productive, and I know I don't have to fix everyone's problems, and I know that I'm a capable adult who can do all the things I need to do to survive and thrive, but my basic training for life goes against all that!
i despise my stepmum