When I was planning for my trip to India, so many people would say strange things like ‘oh your so brave’ or ‘go for it, you have to do these things while your young’ and my least favourite ‘well it’s a once in a lifetime experience’.
I never really knew how to react to any of these statements, I mean I knew how I wanted to react but they meant well and to them it was an inspiring comment. So I tried to take it that way.
I mean saying I’m brave is ridiculous, I’m here because I agree with Sari Baris aims and objectives. From treating the women like worthwhile human beings and helping them earn a living to the part where they try to show Christian love instead of forcing our religion on the women. If we’re living our own lives the way we feel we should then they should be able to see it in our actions.
Earlier another English speaking staff member told me that one lady was asking about me and had referred to me with an Interesting variation of my name. I was a little surprised that she had paid so much attention to me to ask about me. She sits just outside the doorway of the site where I attempt bangla twice a week and as I arrive, I greet her and the lady on the other side and as I leave I say goodbye. Or rather I say see you later, as goodbye is too official and doomy in India. I should perhaps ammend that again as it turns out I’ve been saying it wrong. So as I leave, I Attempt to say goodbye, each time she looks up stares a little and gives a short response and/or a curt nod.
I did forget where I was going with this but it’s back. This makes me feel good about being here. I takes mere seconds to greet the lady each week but this has resulted in me becoming more familiar with her and smiling when I see her and her companion. It’s a familiar part of my week now and I care about all the women, especially when I interact with them more. And in turn she cares about me and enquires about me if my class is cancelled and I don’t show up one day. And this isn’t brave, I’m anything but brave when it comes to practising bangla but you don’t need to be brave to care and show it.
As for the other two statements, to me the amount to the same thing. ‘You have to do it while you’re young’ and ‘it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity’.
The more I think about this the more I want to shake people. I think it’s the tone of voice they use, like they regret not more with their lives. These people are perhaps in their 30’s to 40’s I.e Not decrepid. It infuriates me that people seem to want to do things but feel can’t because they have a mortgage or they’ve finally got a mild promotion and a minscule bump in their salary. How could they possibly leave this wonderful life they’ve created for themselves but they still wish they’d done more. They wish they had those memories to look back on.
I once had an interview for a job that beforehand I had no idea what the job entailed. Turned out to be a tele sales job, I didn’t want it but I’d been made redundant so I would have taken it. The interviewer was very serious and seemed to be annoyed by my mere presence but he asked me what my 5 year plan was, I had no idea. I mentioned I might travel in a couple of years time and come back and get a more serious job. He scoffed a little and said that in his experience people who did that tended to spend their whole lives reminiscing on their one big life adventure.
I didn’t get that job, thank goodness, but what he said stuck with me. What if I became too scared to leave my job and go travel or go live abroad. If I can’t leave a retail job how could I ever leave a better paid one if I ever got it. And what if that is the choice; money from your job to pay for things you won’t use because you’re working or less money but freedom. Freedom to just leave because it doesn’t impact your life enough to stay.
And the people who think they are too old to go do something also annoy me. Usually because they aren’t all that old and if their body is getting stiff and weak it’s because they are letting it get that way. If you stop looking after it, off course it’s going to stop functioning the way it did as a teen. And if going abroad isn’t your thing, there are hundreds if not thousands of charities that run on volunteers. It’s perfect for bored old home birds.
