This was originally going in the tags but I didn’t have enough space
☕️☕️☕️. There's this homophobic habit among fandoms of focusing on characters that are hc as gay instead of characters that are canon gay and I hate it. sometimes I get it. sometimes the gay character is not treated the same, they’re not given the same importance and depth as the other characters, the non-canon gay characters are really compelling and even better rep if seen as gay etc. like. I get it.
Many times it is fans who really develop the characters and turn them into something much better and even turn them into better rep, however feeling seen and being compelled by the fanon version of a character (and by extension—their (fanon) experience with queerness, because a lot of times the reason this happens is because people want character with actually well-written internalized homophobia, which we don't get much) shouldn’t have to come with sidelining the ACTUAL gay character/s when talking about sexuality in the story.
You can prefer Mike over Will. I don't care (I don't UNDERSTAND, but I don't care). However the problem comes when Mike's “struggles with his sexuality” (which only exist on the fans' imagination) are being given more attention and respect and forgiveness that Will's actual struggles with it.
The problem comes when Mike is held to a lower standard than Will, when Mike is seen as being on the same level as him in terms of representation and good writing (related to sexuality), because he isn't, when Mike is involved in conversations around sexuality in st, when Mike is given more attention than Will by a fandom that is supposedly really gay and progressive and Will is reduced to a side character in Mike's sexuality journey when the reality is the other way around. When Mike is not held accountable for things he did that technically aren't even rooted in his sexuality no matter how much the fandom wants them to me to, and when Will is supposed to take everything with a smile and be supportive and not even date anyone else just wait for Mike to catch up after Mike spent years treating him horribly.
You want epilogue byler? sure. I like the idea of it too. But not at the cost of Will's happiness and self-worth journey. Not if you're all going to hold Mike's hand through all of it while expecting Will to shake it off.
“Will cheating on epilogue bf / Will is still not over Mike” let Mike apologize first and then we'll see.
Don’t ignore his homophobia (because as much as I hate to admit it, that's what it is, homophobia) simply because YOU want to think he's gay.
I'm done talking about Mike, I'm just gonna say (as I've already said several times) that the same thing happens in this fandom with Steve and Eddie and Billy etc. A character is gay according to fans if he's hot and not ACTUALLY gay (because then he would actually have to experience being gay and the real experience is not as easy to fetishize. + he would probably talk about it and the fans would probably end up having to THINK about things and better to just not do that. better to imagine Steve as bisexual and hooking up with Eddie without thinking of what that would actually mean or how it would work or how different would Steve be if he was actually gay/bi (because growing up gay changes who you are, no matter how little straight people like to admit it) (because I’m a lesbian, not a straight woman who happens to like women. Because although I’m similar in many aspects, I’m different than them, and that’s not bad nor better, it simply is, and it shouldn’t be ignored)
A lot of the character that this happens to (Steve, Billy, MIKE) are not held accountable on anything because people think they're gay so that immediately means that any scene where they were homophobic/racist is forgivable when that's just not true. This always happens with characters that are kind of homophobic. Have you noticed? Maybe because fans are looking for internalized homophobia rep that is more complex, but let me be woke for a second:
Straight people tend to act like homophobes are just gay and it pisses me off so bad, because they're just denying responsibility and refusing to think on why homophobia could be so prevalent on society.
A quote from one of my favorite books (Red, White & Royal Blue) goes like this: "straight people always want the homophobic bastards to be closet cases so they can wash their hands of it. As if ninety-nine out of a hundred aren't just regular old hateful bigots.” Yeah.
And I know a big part of the fandom is gay themselves, but that doesn’t mean their behavior isn’t influenced by internalized homophobia, because a lot of times I think it is. There’s a reason why many prefer the idea of a character being gay above a character actually being gay
Straight people are coddled (even straight people who the fans see as gay, because in-show, technically, they’re straight, no matter if it doesn’t make sense. Mike doesn’t speak about behaving badly with Will because of internalized homophobia. You can think that if you want, but it hasn’t been confirmed anywhere, no matter how much I believe it too. Mike is straight. You can believe as you wish. But, it hasn’t been confirmed otherwise, and there’s no defense for his behavior). Mike is coddled. Mike is straight. Mike is seen as gay, but since he technically isn’t, we get no insight about this in the show. No talking about his experience being gay etc. Mike is straight. Straight people are coddled. It’s okay if you say a slur, you didn’t really mean it and it’s not that serious. You’re such a good friend for not stopping being friends with you bsf after he came out. What did YOU think of his coming out? How did it affect YOU?
Straight people are coddled (even more so straight white men), meanwhile gay people are supposed to suck it up. You being gay is a big change for her, she didn’t expect it! Be more understanding, your father is grieving the idea he had of you! Don’t talk so much about being gay, we’re not really comfortable with that. Don’t take what he says seriously, he doesn’t really mean it, it’s just the way boys talk. He didn’t know anyone gay growing up, he’s from another time.
It reminds me of how straight people focus on other straight people in situations where gay people are central. It must be so hard for you for your son to be gay. It’s a lot to process for you that she’s a lesbian, right? You’re such a good friend for not hating your bsf for being gay!
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