Summary : In which Yanqing tries to set you up with Jing Yuan upon his request. (did NOT go according to plan)
Warning! : Broken table, a very exhausted teenager
"You should just marry my master (Y/N)." The young teen said casually while you were peacefully drinking your charmomile tea.
You spat the entire thing out before it even reached your throat.
"EUGH, GROSS!" Yanqing recoiled in horror, frantically wiping the few drops that had landed on his cheek. "Why would you AIM at ME??"
"WHA-?" You pointed at yourself between coughs. "I DIDN'T AIM?"
The master in question was none other than Jing Yuan himself.
The Divine Foresight.
The great general of the Xianzhou Luofu.
The man who commanded the Lightning Lord.
Yanqing’s teacher.
And unfortunately... also the man who had smiled at you once and caused you to replay that scene in your mind for three whole business days.
"I am NOT marrying him!" you snapped immediately, face burning in embarrassment.
Yanqing stared at you.
Then narrowed his eyes.
"That sounds exactly like something someone secretly in love would say."
You gasped so loudly nearby birds probably took flight.
"You are too young to even know what MARRIAGE is.”
Yanqing looked genuinely insulted.
"I know what marriage is," he scoffed. "It’s when two people are obsessed with each other and become annoying forever."
You gasped. The audacity of this boy.
Kids these days are so rude!
"Besides! " he pointed a finger at you. "You’re the one acting weird every time Master smiles at you."
"I do NOT act weird."
"You almost slipped when he waved at you."
You stammered "The floor... The floor was wet?!"
The boy did not look convinced. "Master waits for you like a dog."
"I do not believe that." you crossed your arms.
"He literally sits near the window when you’re late."
"That means nothing."
"He sighs dramatically."
"Still nothing."
"He starts saying things like, 'Perhaps she no longer enjoys my company.' "
You slammed your hands on the wooden table. "OK YOU LISTEN HERE! NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY, I am NOT marrying that... that... smug, lazy, suspiciously attractive—”
In the heat of the moment you forgot to control your strength, and a loud cracking sound stopped you from speaking further.
Both of you slowly looked down.
The entire wooden table had split clean in half.
Tea cups tipped over dramatically.
One lonely peach rolled across the floor.
Yanqing stared at the destruction.
Then at you.
Then back at the destruction.
He looked around, eyes widened in panic." uhh.... You know what..."
Yanqing stood up so fast the chair nearly fell over. "Don’t marry him! Terrible idea! Horrible husband material actually! Super awful! Very old too!"
"He’s not even that old-"
"BYE!"
The boy bowed once out of pure survival instinct and immediately bolted from the room.
"YANQING!"
You sighed heavily once he disappeared, looking down at the ruined table.
"…Ah." You gently poked the cracked wood. "It's not as bad as I thought it would be-"
The entire table collapsed to prove you wrong.
Your hand slowly rose to cover your burning face.
"…I really didn’t mean it like that."
"So, did you ask her?" Jing Yuan leaned forward eagerly across his desk later that evening.
His eyes practically sparkled with anticipation.
Yanqing, meanwhile, looked like a war veteran recalling traumatic memories. "Uh... She gave a very... Intense reaction...?"
"So it's a yes?"
"It's probably a no."
"Aw, man" The mighty general of the Luofu slumped across his desk like the saddest man alive.
Honestly, if anyone walked in right now, they’d think he’d lost a war.
"We kissed and everything..." he muttered into the table mournfully. "Why won’t she admit she likes me?"
Yanqing blinked, taking a moment to process the absurd words.
"…We what?"
Jing Yuan tiled his head. "We didn't, I did."
Jing Yuan lifted his head proudly. "More than once, actually. Forty tw—"
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" Yanqing covered his ears instantly. "I DON’T WANT TO KNOW!"
"You don’t want the exact number?" the general stared.
"NO!"
"It was forty-two."
"MASTER?!"
Jing Yuan looked deeply offended. "You interrupted me before I could finish."
Yanqing made the sound of someone who was drowning and wishing to be drowned even deeper.
Then he turned around and sprinted out of the room for the second time that day.
Poor Yanqing.
Forced to suffer between two adults painfully in love with each other.
Neither of whom possessed even a single ounce of emotional honesty.
And unfortunately for him…
He would continue acting as their unwilling messenger for a very, very long time.
Fin
Stupid oblivious people r my fave ppl to write.
This was a short one but I hope you enjoyed! I usually don't write comedy cuz I ain't funny 💔💔
PROMPT TIME - KuroFai “…Who do I need to punch?” from the comfort prompts. Bonus points if Fai is saying it but I;ll take either :3
i know you probably wanted this to be Fai defending Kuro but I give you this instead
Syaoran was a sensitive young man. He was kind and honest and he wore his heart on his sleeve. Fai and Kurogane knew, after so long with the boy they saw as their own son, that the simplest things could make him tear up.
That didn't mean seeing him cry was okay with either of them, however.
Fai heard Syaoran's sniffles as soon as the boy walked through the apartment door. Kurogane looked up from his manga, also immediately aware of his troubles, and frowned.
"Oi, kid. What's the matter?" He asked, setting his manga down. This was serious, after all.
Fai walked over to Syaoran and the boy looked between the two of them. "Oh, it's nothing. Just... at work today..." He tried to put on a brave face, but as he remembered whatever happened, he crumpled and more tears filled his eyes.
Kurogane saw fire in Fai's eyes.
"...Who do I need to punch?" Fai asked with a menacing tone.
"Mage," Kurogane said sternly.
"What?" Fai asked, turning his rage on Kurogane. Kurogane suddenly felt very small. "Like you don't also want to go kick the ass of whoever did this?"
Kurogane looked from Fai to Syaoran. "...He's right kid, give us a name."
Syaoran shook his head and hastily wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "It's no one!" Syaoran insisted. "It's just that today... we had to... burn the old books that were too damaged to be salvaged!"
Syaoran broke down again. "Uh... That's it?" Kurogane asked as Fai patted Syaoran's head.
"What do you mean?!" Syaoran cried. "Those poor books! They could have been saved if someone had only taken care of them!"
Kurogane held up his hands in surrender. Between Fai and Syaoran, he really didn't stand a chance. "Come on, Syaoran," Fai said as he led Syaoran towards the kitchen. "I made chocolate cake today. Does that sound nice?"
Syaoran sniffled once more. "...Yeah."
Kurogane snorted and returned to his manga. Sometimes, they really did feel like a normal family raising a kid.
so I recently found out that in the Japanese fandam, 9/5 is KuroFai day (9=ku/5=fai) so happy kurofai anniversary everyone
It was becoming a somewhat regular occurrence for them to be dropped in the midst of a festival as they traveled from world to world. No matter where they went, it seemed almost human nature to find any excuse to party and drink and play. They’d experienced every kind of festival they thought they possibly could and let themselves join in on the revelry; it was a good way to try new food, drinks, and for the kid to run around excitedly in search of more information on the celebrations.
But Kurogane never thought that there would ever be such a thing as a marriage festival.
The roads were overflowing with couples attending to be wed as well as others that came to simply enjoy. There was a seemingly endless line of booths that sold food, liquor, sweets, and even wedding rings for couples to buy before they headed off to the large shrine at the end of the road.
“Maybe we should give it a try?” Fai said with a nudge into Kurogane’s side and a teasing grin.
“Tch.” Kurogane crossed his arms. “Seems tacky.”
“I’ve heard of this before,” Syaoran said beside him. “Some days are thought to bring a more prosperous marriage, so everyone gets married on the same day.”
“So it’s very smart of them to make a whole festival out of it!” Fai finished for him.
Syaoran nodded and smiled at the two of them. “Exactly. And, I mean, while we’re here, if you two wanted to, it would be fine if you—”
“Mommy and daddy will finally be married!” Mokona sang as she popped out of Syaoran’s collar. “Just like a mommy and daddy should be!”
Kurogane grabbed her to shove her back into her hiding place. “Shut it, manjuu. We still don’t know if they even have things like you in this world.”
“Mokona isn’t a thing!” She squeaked from Syaoran’s collar after Kurogane released her. “Mokona is Mokona!”
Syaoran fidgeted nervously. “I—I didn’t mean like that, I just thought—”
“Don’t worry, Syaoran-kun,” Fai said gently as Syaoran’s face started to turn that dark shade of red it often did when he was embarrassed. His eyes turned sharp and mischievous as he glanced at Kurogane. “Besides, Kuro-daddy isn’t really into these kinds of things.”
“Kuro-daddy isn’t romantic at all!” Mokona cried. “Poor Fai-mommy! Maybe it’s better they don’t get married! Then Fai-mommy can find true love!”
Kurogane glared at the spot Mokona’s voice was coming from and Syaoran took a nervous step back, like he was afraid lasers would shoot out of Kurogane’s eyes and straight through him.
Fai laughed and clung onto Kurogane’s arm. “That isn’t true! Right, Kuro-sama? You love me very much!”
“I tolerate you at best.”
“See?”
Syaoran smiled at the two of them, watching as Fai tried to pull at Kurogane’s crossed arms to get him to show some affection while Kurogane stubbornly stood as still as a rock. He was rather used to their antics by now and knew that, despite Mokona’s teasing, Fai was right: Kurogane loved Fai more than anything else in the world.
He just wasn’t very good at showing it, especially when they were out in public.
“Well… I was thinking I'd ask around a bit," Syaoran said as he began to step away. "So you guys have fun on your own—whatever you decide to do."
“Hey, kid—”
Syaoran turned and rushed into the crowd that swallowed him out of sight before Kurogane could stop him. “Off he goes,” Fai said with a breezy laugh.
“The hell was that all about?” Kurogane asked him.
“Hmm, maybe Syaoran-kun wants mommy and daddy to get married too?” Fai smiled up at him, still clinging to his arm. “Mokona-chan is right, it must be so difficult for a son to go through life with his parents never being married—”
“Shut up,” Kurogane snapped dryly as he pulled out of Fai’s hold. “Between the two of you idiots, I’m gonna need a drink.”
As he moved to venture deeper into the festival, however, Fai stood still behind him. He heard the mage quietly ask, “Would it really be that bad?”
Kurogane stopped and turned to look at him. Fai was watching the many couples that passed them by, some young, some old, all giddy with excitement and overflowing with so much love that it even made the air feel sickly sweet. As his eyes scanned the crowds, they eventually met Kurogane’s and widened slightly like he’d just been caught doing something he shouldn’t.
“What d’you mean?” Kurogane asked. “Like… getting married here?”
Fai put on a bright smile—a little too forced and a lot too reminiscent of his old habits for Kurogane's liking—and laughed like it had all been a joke. “I was just thinking out loud! I got all caught up in the romance—should we find a drink?”
Fai skipped ahead to take Kurogane’s arm again and led him into the crowd. Kurogane followed obediently, confused and unsettled by Fai’s sudden attitude shift.
To be fair, they’d never discussed actually getting married before. Weren’t they practically married already? What could be a stronger vow than exchanging blood, sacrificing limbs, or pouring magic into one another? They were more connected than any of the overly affectionate couples that surrounded them, it wasn’t like they needed some official title or a set of rings to prove it.
That didn’t mean he never thought about it, though. Being practically married and being actually married were two different things and even for someone as opposed to public displays of affection as he was, Kurogane still liked the idea of being able to add husband to the list of things he called Fai. He always figured they'd just get married when they settled in Nihon and he thought that Fai knew that too, but...
“Besides, Kuro-daddy isn’t really into these kinds of things.”
Kurogane frowned. Fai knew him better than anyone else; he knew that Kurogane didn’t like being touchy in public, he knew that if he clung to him or kissed his cheek then Kurogane would blush and complain and try to pull away. But he also knew that when they were alone, he’d get smothered with all the love Kurogane held in around other people.
But did he really think Kurogane wouldn’t want to marry him? Kurogane cut an arm off for him; in comparison, a wedding was nothing. Kurogane would marry him now or later or whenever Fai wanted.
Unfortunately, Kurogane assumed that Fai just had the same mentality that he did and he never thought to ask. He could really be an idiot with these sorts of things.
“Oh!”
Fai let go of Kurogane to venture towards one of the vendor booths. He was looking over some shiny trinkets, things like mirrors and combs and other miscellaneous things that people were buying as gifts to give to their partners as they made their way towards the shrine.
Kurogane wandered off as Fai perused, eventually ending up at a booth selling an assortment of jewelry. The biggest display they had was dedicated entirely to wedding bands, though most were already sold to the couples that came early. The ones left over all looked the same, just boring silver bands with nothing unique about them. Not that Kurogane thought something like a ring was necessary, but if it was going to be used, shouldn’t it at least be special?
As he thought that, a shimmer of blue caught his eye. He bent down to eye the ring a bit closer; the silver band was engraved with swirling designs that reminded Kurogane of the sigils Fai used to cast spells that gathered around a sparkling sapphire. Beside it, there was another ring made of dark metal with sharp, crossing marks carved into it and a small, crimson ruby in its center.
Kurogane still didn't think rings were necessary to prove devotion to someone, but despite that, he couldn't help but think that it would be kind of... nice for the two of them to wear something that reminded them of the other. And the longer he looked, the more compelled he felt to buy them, especially when he pictured how happy Fai would be to receive his.
“Are you interested in anything?” The vendor asked when he noticed Kurogane’s staring.
Kurogane nodded and pointed at the two rings. “Yeah. These two.”
“Oh, if you’re interested in a set, I have others that—”
Kurogane shook his head. “These are good.”
The rings, with their opposite colors and designs, were obviously not meant to be worn together. And yet, Kurogane thought that they made the perfect match.
Kurogane found Fai a bit later in the midst of the crowd, his bright hair and tall frame sticking out in the sea of people. He pushed against the tide until he reached the mage, who was standing in line for some kind of drink being sold. Fai beamed when Kurogane filled the space beside him.
“There you are! Where did you wander off to?”
“Just looking around.” Kurogane eyed the new accessory in Fai’s hair; dark metal was twisted intricately to mimic a flower, its petals made up of sparkling rubies similar to the one set in the ring that he had hidden in his pocket.
Fai touched the clip delicately. “What do you think? It's nice, isn't it?”
Kurogane nodded. “It suits you.”
Fai grinned happily and hooked his arms around Kurogane’s, leaning heavily into his side. Kurogane averted his eyes awkwardly, his cheeks warming. The small pouch in his pocket that held the two rings felt heavy and he wondered how he could present them to Fai without feeling like an idiot.
Fai took initiative to order their drinks when they reached the front of the line and they were handed two mugs of steaming cider. It was a bit sweet for Kurogane’s taste, but the alcohol cut through and settled warmly in his gut. Fai practically moaned beside him when he tasted it.
“Will you two lovebirds be joining the celebrations?” The woman behind the booth asked. “You should get to the shrine before the lines get too long!”
Fai laughed and shook his head. “No, we’re just here for the drinks!”
She shrugged, looking mildly disappointed, and moved on to attend to the next customer. Kurogane shoved one hand into his pocket and shifted the rings between his fingers. Maybe now would be a good time to—
“Should we find some food?” Fai asked.
Kurogane released the rings and nodded. “Sure.”
They finished their drinks and squeezed through the people crowding the booth. Fai led the way down the street, each step taking them closer to the shrine that towered over the other buildings and glowed from the paper lanterns hanging all around it.
“It looks nice,” Fai said as he looked towards it as well. “I bet Syaoran-kun is down there taking all sorts of notes, don't you think?”
“Should we take a look?” Kurogane asked suddenly.
Fai glanced up at him and lifted a brow in question. “We were going to get food.”
“We can come back,” Kurogane told him. “It might get too crowded later if we wait.”
Fai looked at Kurogane inquisitively but nodded along. “Okay, sure.”
Kurogane grabbed Fai’s wrist to lead him towards the shrine, which earned him a surprised exclamation from the blond. As they walked, he loosened his grip and slid his hand down until it was holding Fai’s; he laced their fingers together. When he glanced back at Fai, he saw that Fai was staring down at their interlocked hands with a deepening blush reddening his cheeks.
Up close, the shrine was a beautiful piece of architecture. It wasn’t exactly the same as what Kurogane was used to in Nihon, but there were some similar elements in the shape of the roof and some of the intricate designs painted on its ceilings. There was a long line leading into its doors, all couples waiting eagerly for their turn to be wed.
“It reminds me a bit of Nihon,” Fai pondered as he looked up at the tall building. Something in Kurogane’s chest warmed from knowing that Fai was also thinking about Nihon.
Kurogane swallowed. They were near the end of the line. It would be easy to step right into it and let themselves be ushered through the wedding hall.
“Do you…?” Was all Kurogane managed to say before his throat closed up awkwardly. He felt betrayed by his own nerves.
Fai looked at him curiously and tilted his head. “Hm? What was that, Kuro-sama?”
Kurogane cleared his throat and nodded towards the line. “Do you want to?”
Fai blinked at him, eyes the same color as the sapphire on the ring big and shining under the warm lanterns. “...Huh?”
Kurogane’s heart was pounding and his face was getting warm and he could feel people looking at them—it probably wasn’t typical for couples to come all the way to the shrine without already making the decision to get married. The proposal happening right in front of its doors was abnormal enough to draw attention to the two of them.
“You said we should give it a try,” Kurogane said stiffly.
Fai’s brows furrowed and he frowned, confused and looking a little hurt by Kurogane's apparently sudden shift. “I—I was just joking and besides—you said it was tacky.”
“I think all weddings are at least a little tacky,” Kurogane clarified. He took a step closer to Fai and lowered his voice so no one else could overhear him. “But getting married to you isn’t.”
Fai’s eyes opened wide with wonder as a pink blush spread across his nose and even to the tips of his ears. He gulped and ducked his head, glancing shyly at the many people around them; he didn't usually have any qualms about public displays of affection if he was the one doing it, but if Kurogane was the one being affectionate, well that was something entirely different. That was something that was usually private and hidden behind locked doors for only him to know.
“Y-You can’t just… say things like that…” he murmured while shaking his head. “You never said that you—we don’t even have any rings or—”
Kurogane dug into his pocket and pulled the little pouch out. He tipped it into his palm, revealing the pair, and Fai’s jaw fell in shock. He lifted his gaze to Kurogane’s.
“Are you… really asking me to marry you right now?”
Kurogane shrugged. “Technically you asked first. I was just an idiot and didn't give the right answer.”
Fai hesitantly reached out to the rings in Kurogane’s palm. He went to take the silver one, but Kurogane shook his head and gave him the darker one instead. Fai turned it to examine it at different angles, watching the way the ruby reflected the light, before he slipped it onto his ring finger; it was a perfect fit.
He returned his gaze to Kurogane and shook his head in quiet awe. “I don’t understand… I thought—”
“I know.” Kurogane nodded. “You thought I didn't wanna get married at all. But I always thought we’d get married, idiot. Just figured we’d wait ‘til we were in Nihon, not some random world. But I guess I should’ve told you that.”
Fai huffed out an exasperated laugh and nodded. “Yeah, you probably should have.” He looked down at the ring on his finger. “But… maybe I should have asked, too.”
“We don’t have to wait,” Kurogane continued. “We can get married right now if you want to.”
“You’d give up getting married in your home?”
Kurogane thought it over for a moment and a sudden epiphany popped into his head. “I mean… there’s no rule saying we can’t get married here and in Nihon.”
Fai blinked. “Oh… yes, I suppose you’re right…” And then his entire face brightened with a smile, beaming with love and excitement. “We could get married in every world if we wanted to.”
Kurogane’s face softened into a smile undetectable to nearly everyone except for Fai, who could read him like a book. “Sure, if you want.”
Fai looked about ready to burst. He took Kurogane’s hand and yanked him towards the end of the line.
“Then, let’s start the count!”
—
When they met Syaoran later that night as they were leaving the festival, he noticed the rings but didn’t comment on them. Mokona, however, began teasing the two of them by singing a song about wedding bells and walking down the aisle, bouncing around the three of them now that they were away from the crowds and she didn't need to hide. Kurogane squished her in his palm to get her to stop.
“We’re sorry you weren’t there,” Fai told Syaoran as Mokona squeaked for mercy.
The boy shook his head; he didn’t look very offended at having not been involved in his surrogate parents’ wedding. If anything, he looked oddly satisfied.
“I’m just happy it finally happened,” he said as he looked between the two of them.
Kurogane glanced at Fai; maybe he was right and it really did make Syaoran feel better for them to be—
“I won the bet I made with Touya. He thought it would take you guys way longer.”
Fai and Kurogane’s jaws dropped at Syaoran’s confession. The kid just smiled innocently at the two of them.
“That…” Kurogane began.
“...bastard!” Fai finished as he rushed towards Syaoran. “Why did he think it would take us so long?! Let’s call Sakura-chan, I want to ask him what he meant by that right now!”
Syaoran just laughed as Fai shook him by his shoulders. Kurogane walked over to them and put a hand on Fai’s shoulder to calm him down. Fai pouted at him and Kurogane shrugged.
“Let’s just try to go to Clow. We can get married there and prove him wrong ourselves.”
Fai’s eyes lit up with mischievous glee. “Oh, I like that idea.”
“Um, getting married isn’t a competition, you know,” Syaoran chimed in.
“It became one the second you made that bet!” Fai cried, returning his attention back to Syaoran. “Syaoran-kun, how could you?!”
Syaoran held his hands up in surrender. “I just knew he was wrong,” he told them. “I knew you guys wouldn’t be able to wait much longer. But now the next time we visit, he has to be nice to me the whole time.”
“Seems like a pretty good trade,” Kurogane mumbled.
Fai sighed, resigned, and wrapped one arm around Syaoran’s shoulders and hooked the other through Kurogane’s elbow to lead them towards their rented home. “Fine, fine. But we’re going to get married in every single world we land in until we get to Clow so we can prove him extra, extra wrong!”
“Mokona wants to be the Flower-Mokona!”
“All you’ll be is the food at the reception.”
“Wah! Kuro-daddy is so violent! Fai-mommy should get a divorce!”
Fai laughed along with Mokona and Kurogane’s banter and leaned slightly into Kurogane’s side.
“Sorry,” he said as he looked up at his husband. “He’s stuck with me now.”
The chair was new and uncomfortable, the carob wood pressing into the soft parts of his arms, the edges like knives to his delicate, old, The Apple was a heavy weight in his old hand, like it would drop right out of his fingers. Today though, as all days, he held it tight in his gnarled hand, safe and close to his person.
Altair’s head drooped, his breathing slow. He could feel the beat of his heart sluggish and weak inside his chest. He’d been here a time, though he couldn’t recall how long, all he knew was that his son, his last son, was gone, somewhere safe. His last anything, was safe, and alive. Sef was no more and Darim was not here. Had he told his boy he’d loved him before he’d locked himself away in here?
He couldn’t remember.
“Old man,” a voice, young and vibrant suddenly said. Altair lifted his head slowly, with some difficulty.
He blinked slowly, body slow to respond, “Malik?” he asked, voice worn and thin.
“Well don’t you look like Rashid,” Malik said, a smirk on his lips, “still a novice though I’m sure,” he added and placed his hand on Altair’s knee.
“I’m not a novice,” Altair grumbled, “I am Al Mualim.”
Malik laughed, young and free sounding, his laugh echoing across the empty library. “Of course you are habibi,” Malik took his hand and squeezed it. “Ready to come home?” he asked, his voice gentle now.
Altair breathed out and felt the strain of his old lungs. Where Malik held his hand he felt like his skin was tighter, firmer, young. “Am I not already?” he asked.
“No,” Malik said and squeezed his hand again.
“Home is where we are,” Altair tore his eyes away from the young vision of Malik to the new voice.
“Maria,” he breathed.
“Hello, my love,” and she leaned over him, kissing his temple, as she always did whenever he came home, a chaste welcome with the promise of a more personal moment alone when they got the chance to be together. “We’ve been waiting for you,” she smiled at Malik, and slid her hands along either of their shoulders.
“Sorry,” Altair said weakly.
“Come home, Altair,” Malik said gently, stroking the top of Altair’s hand with his thumb.
“I am,” Altair promised softly, “I’m coming,” and he found he couldn’t open his eyes again as they slid closed for the last time.