Rescued a hit mouse from the road. Set my crystal down next to him for healing. When I checked on him later, he was wrapped around it. He passed away a few hours later.
“I’ve spent most of my life figuring out what the fuck my internal world is, going deeper and deeper into the universe inside. The best moments are when I’m not afraid to be me, to share myself—but I end up holding back. It’s difficult. What I feel called to do in life doesn’t line up with what other people think, understand, or realize. So I get distracted. I think, ‘oh no, it’s me!’ It’s not them. I’m the one who needs to change because I’m the loner weirdo…”
But every time I let go, life’s great. It’s cliche, but we all have our own light to shine, and it feels like a lot of people try to make theirs brighter by dimming everyone around them.
I gotta keep shining. Life’s hard, sometimes it sucks. But being myself is a beautiful gift. My ideas and interests move in a different direction from what’s accepted. I want to finally embrace that.
My goal is to stop being afraid to step into my own power.”
Bonelli | Paint Release
Paint Release is an experimental art series. A volunteer shares experiences, intentions, dreams, an art form of their own or an emotional release while I simultaneously turn it into an abstract painting.
Selections from a storyline/treatment made with Sarah McDaniel for a Doja Cat music video.
Reference photos are the work of many different, brilliant artists.
I’m a hound for virtual bread crumbs. I’ll trail a scent and scour for hours until enough pieces of existing imagery depict an imaginary scene. Worth it. Seeing a style come to life is an unlisted higher emotion. Bread leads to gold.
If you’re looking to travel to another world, tune in to Angela Ho.
Angela’s fine mashup of pointillism and retro/pop surrealism frames each of her high-spirited imaginary playscapes. This unique style sprouted over a decade ago and flourished when she decided to place paid work on hold for nine months. It was this gestation period for personal, artistic growth that gave birth to the comprehensive portfolio that altered the course of her career. By honoring herself, she found the fertile foundation needed for a vast land of dazzling, hypnotic, characters that suggest the truth.
For a deep dive Q&A with Angela on her background, character personalities and flow states...
What were you like as a child?
I was very quiet and incredibly shy around people I didn't know well, although I messaged my sister to help me with this question and she says I was cheeky. My sister and I would always be drawing and with my older brother, we'd have our own mini drawing competitions, I'm not sure if this was good in terms of sibling rivalry though. Our parents gave us a lot of educational-type toys which involved drawing, painting, crocheting and making plaster models. I read a lot, I loved Snoopy comic strips.
At what age did you take a break from paid work to focus on your own art? What were some of the phases and internal struggles you went through during this time? How did this decision impact where you are now?
I was in my mid-30s when I took a break, I was thinking about how time can pass so quickly, our lives are just a tiny blip in the scheme of things so we might as well make the most of it. During this roughly 9 month period I spent a lot of time in my small workspace drawing a lot, reading and looking at anything which caught my attention, like old Fleischer Studios cartoons and anything scifi. The self-imposed isolation wasn't easy as I can be quite social but after this experience I think I've learnt an emotional self-reliance I hadn't had before. I think this has made Covid-19 bearable. I also got over some thoughts I had about choosing to pursue my artistic inclinations and whether it could contribute to the world in some way.
Have you ever felt limited in your expression? How were you able to overcome these limitations?
Yes. It's still something which I'm working through, how to handle it. I'm realizing that if you're able to express yourself truly openly it is a privilege, although it should be a universal right.
What role (if any) would you say spirituality has with your art?
Initially I was going to answer this question with a "no" in terms of a spirituality guiding me with my work. I have mythical creatures in my art, spiritual ones borne of nature or characters which personify abstract concepts. I like the idea of omnipotent mostly well-meaning beings inhabiting my art but they come from imagination and fantasy and stay firmly within the borders of the board I'm painting or the screen on which I'm drawing or animating.
But aside from mythical creatures, I have had experiences while working where I've felt that there is some outside force helping me along, I'm not sure how to explain it, I've thought it must be some biochemical result of intense focus but haven't explored the concept of it much for fear of sounding flakey. But I brought it up with my artist and designer friend Calvin Ho and he recommended I read a book called "Flow" from the 1990s. So I may have a more clear answer at a later time but for the moment I'm referring to it as The Force. I love Star Wars.
Are there any defining moments in particular where you've felt this force/flow most?
Yes and when I think about these moments they're associated with music, maybe it's music which produces this flow. When I began working as an illustrator and was working on a digital artwork of a kaleidoscopic storm, it was probably the first time I really felt like I didn't entirely produce the work, that something else assisted. I'm wondering now whether there is some kind of musical trance state involved. Also, when working on my 'Interspecies Utopia' show and perhaps more recently having slowed down along with the world while working on a commission for a musician in San Francisco. I feel it when I've switched off from everything, am lost in music and am purely into the work. I could be listening to anything from Four Tet to The White Stripes which I've been listening to again recently or Science Noodles, a Hong Kong-Taiwanese band I've been listening to on repeat. Right now I'm listening to Brian Eno's 'Music For Airports'.
How important is nature to your wellbeing and what effect does it have on you? Do you have any favorite hiking trails in Hong Kong?
Walking in nature is extremely important to me especially in a fast-moving city like Hong Kong where I've lived since 2008. The rhythmic motion of walking and breathing and not being distracted by various things has the instant effect of calming me and recalibrating me. Hong Kong is full of walking trails and green areas, my favorite trail would be Tai Long Wan in the area of Sai Kung, it's a bay made up of four beaches with hills behind it. The Peak Morning Trail is also a favorite as I live near to it and walk it regularly.
Do your creatures ever “speak” to you — and do they have different personalities? If so, what are some of them?
I'm waiting for my creatures to speak to me. I'd like to work more with narrative whether in picture book form or animation so I'd like them to lead me but they do have nascent personalities. A lion character I have is stoic yet kind, it doesn't speak much but when it does the words are important so you'd better listen and never ever cross the lion as it has the power of all nature within it, it can become poetic justice incarnate. A female head I use in short animations represents the inner world of an every-woman, she gets buffeted about by everyday and world events but easily expresses joy too. She thinks too much, I guess she only has a head, maybe I should draw her with her body more often.
In what ways have you been exploring augmented reality and animation in your works? Do you have any upcoming projects that fuse these mediums?
I'm still working on how augmented reality can more significantly extend the narrative of my static artwork, mainly they have been experiments in subtly adding meaning via animation. I've used AR with my 'Interspecies Utopia' exhibition, the HKwalls mural and a work in the Paste-Up Festival in Berlin. Currently, I have a singular artwork idea in mind I'd like to generate but I'm not sure of the physical space it will occupy yet.
What is your intuitive sense regarding the art in the future? In 2120, what do you foresee as the mediums? How much value will be placed on art and artists?
This question makes me think of the Singaporean survey by The Sunday Times which did the rounds of social media in June. It was about the top 5 most and least essential jobs within the context of the pandemic. I was skeptical of this survey but I think a lot of people would have nodded their heads in agreement at artists being at the top of the non-essential list. But I think art and the arts are incredibly important. I think we need to tell stories about ourselves through fiction and emotive means which may elicit empathy and an understanding which news cannot give us. I think there should be more to us than survival and living in their most basic forms.
I'm not sure about predicting the future 100 years from now but I wish I could see how things are in 2120, perhaps art will be more interactive and immersive and work somehow with science more. But closer to our present, I really hope that art and artists will make it through the pandemic and current instabilities and that they'll be intact when we eventually settle into a new normal or get back to how we were. I think art is needed for escapism and to make sense of this surreal time of dramatic change.
A girl journeys through symbolic hallucinations that attempt to communicate her death as she hosts a brain-eating parasite.
Live action, 2D and 3D animation unite to create an immersive dreamlike experience across multiple dimensions. Symbols and rapid cuts stimulate the subconscious mind—the intent is to disengage from conscious thought and experience an intuitive world that speaks through visuals.
Septaria, an anagram for parasite, contains many parallels to the current pandemic and speaks to lost generations with a voice of surreal foretelling. Shot across Washington, Oregon and California, almost every natural environment that appears in the film is now affected by wildfires.
Official Selection: Seattle True Independent Film Festival - Best Narrative Short Film
Mark and I crossed paths on the road to Mt. Shasta earlier this year. He’s lived out of the back of his bicycle trailer for the last decade—a decision he made after his wife and daughter died in a car crash.
The following is a loose transcription of our conversation.
Mark: Where you from?
Me: LA.
Mark: I’ve known a lot of people there. When I lost my wife and daughter in an accident ten years ago I used to come from Arizona, seeing my mom. And she passed recently too, so I’m not going there no more.
See my mom’s maiden name was Newsom, just like the governor. And her Dad died when she was 15-years-old, so her Uncle was all she knew.
And she said, “Your two aunts, they went back to Ohio. They flew to Ohio and rented a Jeep and went to West Virginia to see where the Newsoms came from.”
And I said, “did she find where they lived?”
And she said, “yeah, there’s a whole family of them that live up surrounded by national forests and they’re in-bred hillbillies.”
And I said, “ok mom! I know my relatives now!”
The funniest thing was, she said that when they got to some town where they were getting close, they rented a Jeep and they drove with the four-wheel drive as far as they could go, and you couldn’t go any further because the brush and everything was so bad. And then they hiked about a mile and there was this really tiny community of 7 or 8 houses and 6 or 7 families. They did marry people sometimes, but they were marrying their cousins and stuff a lot.
And my mom said “they were really truly inbred Hillbillies” and I said “mmm, that’s really weird.”
My mom—she was part Indian and she had Cherokee in her, so I have a little bit of Cherokee in me. Her grandmother was picked up in the Trail of Tears in the 1870s when they were chasing the Indians around and into Montana.
My grandma was actually born in Idaho. My mom was born in Idaho too.
But they went up into Montana and they were trying to get away from the soldiers because the soldiers came in and they didn’t see any men. Well the men went out and hid because they knew how screwy the soldiers were back then. And they actually killed the women and children.
So the guys, they said, “we’re gonna follow them people and kill as many as we can,” and they killed a whole bunch of them.
And then they called Washington and telegraphed them in the old fashioned telegraph wires and said “just follow them, we’re sending you a backup group,” and so they chased them all the way up to Montana and they were just trying to get out of the United States and into Canada.
When they grabbed them all up my great grandmother—she was real small and she had seen all this crap going on and she was pissed off. They were separating families purposefully. They said they were troublemakers. So they took my grandmother to Oklahoma and put her on a reservation.
When she was old enough to get married, she met this guy—his mom and dad were from Scotland and Ireland. They came over and he was born over here. He married her and they got on the Oregon trail because he wanted to go back there. She knew everything about where it was because she’d been there and she knew that there’s good places in Idaho. So they went up there and they had two homesteads on the Snake River in what’s now called the Hell’s Canyon Recreation Area… and in Joseph, Oregon. And they had ten girls and one boy and they survived.
Man, they had all slow mules or oxen that were pulling their wagons and I don’t know how they did it. You know, we can pull over anytime we want and stop at these food marts and Dollar General or whatever and get food and stuff but not them people. They just kept on walking.
I lost my family and I been doing this almost ten years now, be this Thanksgiving. I was given that trailer down by Southern Nevada about six months ago. I got out along the Colorado River and I was down there. You guys ever heard of Quartzite?
Me: Yeah.
Mark: Yeah, it’s pretty cool over there. I used to go there and find stuff along the road and I’d see people all along the river. It’s really nice because in the winter a lot of people head south and that’s one of the places they go.
Me: Quartzite?
Mark: Yeah, Quartzite—well actually all over the place down there, along the river. If you look at Needles, California and then you’re just south of all the gambling places in Nevada—where it’s just California and Arizona, down along the river, Lake Havasu, Parker all along there it’s pretty cool. It’s a really good place for people that travel down and then they go back.
When I headed back I headed across Blythe. I was on Interstate 10 but when I got over to Palm Springs and they were talking about all this lockdown stuff—I’m like, “WHY?”
I’ve had so many different kind of flus, I’ve never had flu shots, I just get it and get immune to them…
When I got to San Bernardino, the streets were empty. I couldn’t even find a store to sell stuff—cuz I find a lot of tools and junk along the road. So I thought, man, I’m headed straight North.
I headed to Cajon Pass, got on 395 and I ran into this sister—she’s seen me in the past few years about four or five times. I ran into her down by Susanville. She bought this place down there for her family. She gave me a bunch of food and an old worn out t-shirt and I got a small tent that’s not too bad.
Too many people either can’t be open or are closed down, and homeless people or people that travel like I’m doing—you gotta be able to go into some of these churches to sleep but a lot of these churches are closed down, too. So you can’t get help from the main people that help and then they want you to just stay in one of place and all that junk they’re talking about.
A lot of people lost jobs. If you stop people from being able to buy and sell food and different things you know, we’re all going to get hurt by that. But then they started printing all this money up? And our money ain’t worth nothing anyway.
I’ve been self-employed for ten years and I can make money doing all kinds of little things and I find stuff. Since I’ve been traveling I find jewelry. Sometimes I sell it, but usually people pull over and help me out with food, water, whatever, and right now I’m doing really good. I’ve got enough food to probably last me about a week before I have to go get anything.
But I lost a whole bunch of stuff. This COVID thing happened—I was going along in this reservation that was totally closed down. I was told about four years ago I could camp there. But not now, they got these old giant signs and they’re real paranoid. And here’s what they done—they closed it down from everybody coming in. They didn’t make just rubble bumps in the middle. They made some light ones… and then they made some real deep ones and my trailer was shaken apart and all my stuff fell out and got run over.
So when I got over to the next town, this girl stopped and she gives me 12 bucks and this donut. And then I start having all kinds of people just pulling over and asking if I needed anything. All these people started helping me out and I was like, “ok this is alright.”
I redid my bike while I was quarantining in Susanville. The family I stayed with was paranoid about me getting the flu. And I’m like, “well, you know, I understand that you can be paranoid, but I don’t have nothin’ and I’m not gonna get nothin’. I’ve survived every other kind of flu that came along over the years.” I just turned 66 and I’m really healthy. My great grandmother that I was talking about, those 10 girls—over half of them, they all lived at least into their 90s.
When I left they gave me a phone. But if you wanna call people you gotta do certain things and you gotta hook up with Google. But it’s got FM—BANG! Here comes the music! Now if I want to camp for two days I have music to listen to. But I don’t have anybody to call, so I figure I’ll activate it later.
Paint Release is an experimental art series. A volunteer shares experiences, intentions, dreams, an art form of their own or an emotional release while I simultaneously turn it into an abstract painting.
Above is the release of J, 27. He shared a secret with me that he’s kept his whole life.
Lie down somewhere comfortable and follow along with the audio.
This exercise locates and relaxes the secret nerve zones of the human body, known as Marmasthanani. It is the first step toward altering brainwave patterns and the key to mastering Shavasana, enabling conscious control over the muscular and nervous systems. It can treat anxiety, mild depression, insomnia and hypertension.
Source: A Chakra and Kundalini Workbook, Dr. John Mumford
Welcome to the “half beautiful, half frightening” realm of Ulrika Netzler.
Her creatures plot the artistic struggle of restlessness, pitfalls and self-doubt while striking balance with beauty and truth. They appear to her moments before she falls sleep or while knee deep in nature. She senses the supernatural in certain environments, (like the wind caves of the Aokigahara forest at the foot of Mt. Fuji), and bases her designs upon these experiences.
For a Q&A with Ulrika on her upbringing, influences and ideas....
Powersource
This was an attempt to get myself pepped back up. It works to remind me to trust my gut feeling and rely on the flow state to guide me in the right direction.
How would you describe the art you make?
Mystery, darkness with a guiding light, soul-searching and self doubt. A sense of being accepted and carried by nature and half frightening, half beautiful creatures. And in the more abstract works I would say it is the intuitive choreography of the hand.
Blue Moon
This came from a place of boredom and restlessness. At first I wanted it to be a celestial body playing hangman with itself, to symbolize a kind of all-consuming boredom since it's a completely useless game played alone. But then I thought a little more closely about what I was feeling at the moment, and it was about my own creative process and how depressing it can be when you get out of the flow state and start to see yourself from the outside. I made the moon a creator of planets and universes, clearly bored with its own creation.
Where did you grow up? Would you say your upbringing has had any impact on your art?
I grew up in different northern suburbs to Stockholm, mostly Täby and Vallentuna. My grandfather ran an advertising agency together with a friend and took up painting full time after he retired. He was the most playful person and really encouraged me to go at everything with a sense of wondrous discovery. He used to make up bedtime stories for me and my sisters about this troll-character who came out from its' cave and went out into the forest to meet fantastical creatures. That might be one of the reasons as to why it's become important to me to create fantastical worlds of my own. Without him I probably wouldn't have thought that working artistically was even an option for me. I owe a lot to him.
Ascension From The Windcave
I was commissioned to make this piece as part of turning a car park into a gallery space for murals by Swedish female contemporary artists. The summer before I'd been to an artist residency in Kōfu, Japan and was immensely inspired by the nature surrounding the city. Kōfu lies in a sort of basin surrounded by flourishing green mountains on all sides, and one day Mina who worked at the residency took us on a hike in Aokigahara forest surrounding the foot of mt. Fuji. In the forest there are these wind caves made by former lava emissions from the mountain that emit constant streams of cold air. The airstream felt like a supernatural presence, a reminder that the volcano is sleeping now but is still breathing. I think of the emerging figures as a goodnatured force safeguarding the forest.
What has been most influential in your development?
Firstly I would have to say animated movies by Disney, Don Bluth and Hayao Miyazake. As a kid I spent a lot of time watching animated films, and around the age of six I started to understand that all adults have to work for some reason. So on some of the Disney VHSes they showed these clips from the process of animating Snow White and I was thrilled when I understood that you could actually draw these movies for a living. I started trying to copy the covers of the movies but got very frustrated when they weren't good enough. I also had a period once the internet had become a thing when I would hang out on elfwood.com, which was a site for fantasy and sci-fi art and fiction started by a swede, and I'd post and browse drawings on there.
And finally I would say two trips to Japan, one to Tokyo and one to Kōfu.
During my Tokyo trip I went to see an exhibition in the Edo Tokyo Museum showing Yōkai depictions from the 16-1800s. Yōkai are supernatural demons, monsters and spirits in japanese folklore and the work shown in this exhibition just blew my mind. It was filled with the most beautiful woodblocks and painted silk, some of which I had seen in offset print before, but the level of craftsmanship really was incredible when viewed up close. I have a background in dance and there is something about the rhythm and movement of the linework in many of these woodblocks that really resonate with me on a deep level. On my trip to Kōfu that I mentioned earlier, I started to realize natures importance for my wellbeing, and that it needs to be part of my work in a bigger symbolical way.
Sleepless
I made this during a stressful time during my BFA when I was questioning my practice a lot. I applied to the school mostly with conceptual graphic design works, but truly my roots are in drawing and painting. I was feeling pulled between this newfound interest in graphic design and my inherent will to draw and sculpt. The many closed eyes of the figure symbolize these various parts of myself that I was struggling to balance and eventually choose between.
How do your ideas come to you?
Mostly right before I fall asleep or on long walks. Those are the times when I am most open to impression and association. Whether I'm doing work for a client or working independently, I would say that my instinct is always to turn a feeling or situation into a visual metaphor and that openness to experience is crucial for me to be able to do that. Because I've learned this about my process I try to make as much time as I can for nature walks and not dismiss it as leisure time, but consider it actual artistic research.
Janus
The back side is of a happy face with a spiral nose. I made it during another period of doubt and ambivalence when I had recently graduated from art school and taken a full time job at a digital printshop. I was learning a lot about print and bookbinding which I really enjoyed, but I was also working these tiring shift hours that left me no energy for my own work. This left me feeling frustrated and angry so I was feeling Janus' two facedness at the time.
What is the most rewarding part of your work?
Being immersed and absorbed. The luxury of disappearing in the making, into a universe with no boundaries. Constantly learning new things and seeing others feelings reflected by the work.
The Caballero spoke a fast, mumbled Spanish. He handed me the reins with no instructions, which would have been fine, but this horse was loco, twitchy, and all I could picture was it throwing me off with a victorious nay.
I ended up tethered to the Caballero the entire time, my leg smacking into his. He’d look over and say, “todo bien?” At some judgement day reckoning point we began to gallop and all I wanted to do was throw myself to the ground and just get it over with. I vow to never be tortured in this way again.
blakekathryn
andulkaphoto
ellievsbear
vaporwave
romaincrisis
gummygunk
snowghoul