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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
taylor price
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@boxonthenile
if you haven’t, i hope you fall in love with life again. i hope you wake up with a happy sigh, hope you feel like doing things you enjoy, hope you are surrounded by people who make you feel safe, hope you smile at yourself in the mirror.
every 14-16 year old is the bravest person on the planet to me
talking to a 15 year old like wow okay you are like if scrambled eggs was a person. I don't know how to save you. the way you move through the world is reminiscent of a stray cat whose soul got punted into a human body. said human body is currently undergoing changes and floods of hormones that would result in cities being levelled if you were perhaps a big dragon and not a medium sized primate. been there. good luck I love you
you don't have to excuse the behaviours of shitty teenagers, but you DO have to remember that they've been on this earth only as long as your cat. you have to ensure that the way you respond to said behaviour reflects this. yes they're an entire person. they're also going through a period of the most insane rapid transformation (physically, mentally, emotionally and socially) a person can experience in life. are they an irredeemable monster or are they just a very impressionable young person floundering through their first Strong Opinions based on what they've seen online, with ridiculous amounts of Hormone That Makes You Hate Everything in their bloodstream?
YOUNG TEENAGERS. are YOU an irredeemable monster or are YOU just a very impressionable young person floundering through your first Strong Opinions based on what you've seen online, with ridiculous amounts of Hormone That Makes You Hate Everything in your bloodstream? I'll give you a hint. it's the second option. cut yourself some slack too! try your very best to be kind, try your very best to consider people with differing experiences to you, and maybe take a step back from discourse that does nothing besides make you upset. you've only been an animal alive on this planet for a decade and a bit. there are artisanal cheddars at your local supermarket older than you. take it easy. eat more fruit. save up for a second hand bicycle. join a local club. it's impossibly difficult to be a teenager but you have it in you, whether you're aware of it or not. I hope you can be kind to yourself, because you DO deserve that kindness. kia kaha [:
whoa dude when I heard about "radfems" I thought it would be some most radical females! 😍🤙
but these chicks are saying some bogus things about other babes 😬
Is transitioning from male to female to become a butch lesbian a reasonable option?
it is beyond reasonable, it is one of the coolest things you can do on this bitch of an earth
listen, sometimes it's more powerful for a fictional relationship to be a friendship precisely because friendship is devalued in comparison to romance. anyone can sacrifice themself for the love of their life. but for a friend? if anything, that kind of devotion can be even more moving than if the relationship is romantic. there's a real dramatic power to prioritising friendship in your narratives sometimes.
Imagine I was calm and normal about things
I need a blowjob but I don’t have a penis or a strap on and I’m not taking off my pants so you’re just gonna have to figure it out
Many such cases
wound dressings and bandages are lingerie for the enlightened pervert
i like it when people compliment me. i like it... when people like me. (looks around to make sure nobody is about to shoot me)
Project Hail Mary // Incorrect quotes 2/?
It's commonly accepted in this fandom that humans have extremely fragile bodies in comparison to Eridians, but I think that's actually an oversimplification.
Because while Eridians are incredibly strong and tough on the outside, on the inside they are actually quite fragile:
They have no immune system, so anything that makes it past their enclosed carapace and internal heating will pretty much kill them
They have no natural defenses to radiation of any kind
In general they have very little organic matter so anything that targets their cells directly is quickly lethal
They are partially cold-blooded and live at a very narrow temperature range (about 20 degrees C)
They rely almost entirely on one, highly developed sense and are helpless if deafened (can't even remember the layout of a room)
They are completely helpless while asleep and can't control when that happens
They will forcibly become dormant after eating AND when badly hurt enough (their equivalent of going into shock)
They require more energy to function than humans do, and have very little organic matter to burn in the case of starvation
In contrast, humans:
Have an aggressive immune system and internal mechanisms for dealing with cell damage
Have adrenaline which allows them to temporarily ignore injuries and perform abnormal feats of strength
Are persistence hunters built for economy of movement and capable of extreme levels of endurance
Exist in a very wide range of habitats and on a diverse diet
Are very hardy in general, able to survive massive injuries, lack of sleep, prolonged starvation, and intense environmental conditions if given proper care
The quintessential example of this dichotomy between strength and endurance is the Going Fishing incident in the book: Rocky is able to survive and move in G forces that are killing Grace and to physically wrestle off the chair crushing him, but he collapses from his injuries almost immediately after. Despite being injured himself Grace then carries his 400lb friend up a ladder, is badly burned returning him to his atmosphere, and then proceeds to get some basic medical care, hype himself up on pain meds and keep working (albeit rather badly, lol) while Rocky forcibly sleeps.
The TL:DR is that Eridians are harder to damage, but easier to kill. They're like an rpg character with high armor and low health. I think Rocky would consider Grace to be very delicate at first, only to be blown away by how deceptively tough his friend can be.
Cleaning out my purse, which means it's time for a game of "what the fuck have I been carrying around all this time" (a non-exhaustive list)
normal purse contents (wallet, keys, chapstick, massive wad of trash and receipts, etc)
first aid kit
large quantities of candied ginger
clothespin
fingerless gloves
emergency dice set
mysterious flash drive
carnival ticket (when did I even go to a carnival?)
small metal frog
mystery key (rusted)
tiny goat
eight spools of thread
fortune cookie fortune ("your goals will have you reach new heights")
cursed locket
measuring tape with built in flashlight and screwdriver
$5.13 in loose change
incredibly small snail shell
piece of purple broken glass
three hagstones
compass ring
four old train fare tokens
various acorns
forty-five cool rocks I found
So basically, it's still an utter mystery why my bag was getting so heavy. I suspect it was probably the incredibly small snail shell.
It's a very normal bag sized bag, I swear!
Weirdly enough, the purpose of this purse cleanout was to move stuff from my old bag (the strap was breaking for some mysterious reason that's probably completely unrelated to anything in this post) to a new bag that looks like it should be bigger, but actually holds less stuff. Had to remove some of these items, which is an absolute injustice.
(The rocks are staying, because what if I need a cool rock for something in an emergency? Also because they're getting a nice little polish from jostling around all the time in the inevitable beach sand that ends up in every bag I own.)
Tumblr users over here trying to foil my plans to disappear into the ocean with a bag full of shiny rocks to bribe the merfolk into letting me live with them.
Okay admittedly I have no solid proof that this particular locket is cursed. Honestly it's mostly just wishful thinking. But maybe someday...
I really wanted to get a picture of my other actual, really definitely cursed locket for this post, but I'm currently unable to find it.
Edited to add because Tumblr was really determined to post this before I was done:
The actual really definitely cursed locket is an antique French poison locket. It has a lovely little fly design and some suspicious powder residue inside. Due to the suspicious powders, it's sadly not a safely wearable piece of jewelry. The fact that it's no longer in the box I thought it was in is concerning on multiple levels (it's probably toxic, definitely expensive, and also a much-loved gift), but feels pretty on-brand for a cursed locket. Hopefully it'll come back to haunt me in the near future.
you
Okay it took me forever to remember to actually take pictures, but!
Tiny Goat!
Hagstones, plus bonus purple glass and train fare tokens, just because I think they're neat.
And the shiny rocks! Lots of agates and various other rocks, mostly from the beach. All still stored in my purse, because I've learned nothing.
Who wants to guess what happened to Crow's new bag today?
Listen. Listen. There could have been any number of reasons for the strap of my new bag to spontaneously snap in the middle of the grocery store. You don't need to call me out like this. It could have been completely unrelated to the rocks!
Also, the umbrella thing a few weeks ago proves nothing. The fact that there was an audible scattering of trinkets onto the sidewalk when I opened my umbrella (a small, purse-sized umbrella! a reasonable umbrella to carry around in one's bag!) does not in any way imply that there were too many trinkets in my bag. I have no idea how those coins, rocks, and random bits of broken jewelry got in there. It's an utter mystery.
In conclusion, I blame the fashion industry and their utter lack of understanding of the contents of the average person's purse. They need to understand that a bag that can't handle forty-seven cool rocks is simply not practical for everyday use.
Hello, wizard
op disabled reblogs but i really wanted this post on my blog again
this made me laugh so hard
trinyvale triplets navigating the pandemic like the absolute worst people you know
