She hated that it had been a week of this - of feeling pathetic, and stupid, and weak. She couldn’t stand the aching frailty of her chest, and each time she tried to fill it with anger, the hole seemed to just… devour it. It was ridiculous that she had allowed herself to get to this sort of state, and even worse that she couldn’t shut it off. When had she become such a child? When had her backbone slid free of her body? When, she wanted to know, had she become so… so….
“Natalie… ?”
The sound of her name came along with the echo of feet dropping upon the sand, a sudden noise that sliced startlingly through the silence that had surrounded her. Her head jerked up and away from where she’d been cradling it against her hand, pressing her palm against her eye as if she could physically hold back her weakness and her tears - it was like holding a leaf against a flood, though, and as she stared in horror at her unwelcome company her eyes glistened with the traitorous little droplets.
The sight of him was like medicine, though, a band-aid for everything that was wrong. The misery and self pity that she’d been wallowing receded, a few furious blinks dried her tears, and fury blazed in her eyes. She felt shaky and unsure, but she clung to her rage like a life raft. She wanted the anger - she wanted to hate him. It was easier, after all, than missing him.
Some of her anger was for herself, for that horrible little truth that hid at the very bottom of the hole in her chest. What sort of woman was she to miss him, after what he’d said? What sort of pitiful little girl would want him to come back, to see him again? None that she wanted to be, but the thought was still there. She supposed she didn’t miss whichever horrible part of him had sent those words, though.
She missed the Leo that had held her gently, carefully checking her wrists and soothing the angry red lines left behind by his ropes. She missed the boy who had carried her like a princess around the house for an entire day, even when he’d known her complaint that he had worn her out was crap. She missed the boy who, despite the blackmail and the lies, had still stood at her side and faced the brunt of Bryce’s displeasure with her hand in his. That wasn’t the same man who stood before her now, no matter the fact that his face was the same. She studied the handsome lines of his features, but found nothing within them that she sought. His regret, clear in his eyes, meant nothing to her.
She’d intended to tell him to go away, meant to control her voice and her words like a conquering empress - a vengeful queen who was not one to be trifled with so casually! Instead, the noise that escaped her sounded suspiciously like a choked sob and her hands flung out, slamming against his chest. It was every bit as solid as she remembered and every bit as warm, and she should not have been surprised at how little she’d been able to move him no matter the sand beneath their feet. Her teeth clenched in frustration, and her hands balled into fists, a distinct and familiar golden glow building around them. She wanted to blast him into a tree, she realized, the temptation almost too strong to resist.
“Are you stalking me?!” Her voice held none of the strength that she wanted, shaking as she spoke to him and pulled her hands close to her chest. She needed to control herself, but she held little confidence in her ability to do so. “Wow. I bet your dad will love that you’re using your skills to fucking harrass girls. In fact, I bet this whole neighbourhood would love to know about them - maybe I should start screaming and find out what they’d think of that?”
The threat may have held more weight if it had actually had confidence. As it was, she mostly seemed… uncertain. Uneasy. Most of all, she seemed tired, and she was. She just wanted to go home, where she didn’t have to worry about blowing up play structures and people seeing her cry. Why was he doing this to her?! Hadn’t he already done enough..?
”Go away, Leo.” She stepped back, hissing. “I don’t have anything to say to you.”
Truthfully, Leo had expected a certain reaction from Natalie - a biting comment, something venomous. It was what she was best known for, all things considered. Nat's tongue one was of her most effective weapons, and it often cut more sharply than any weapon that Leo could've familiarized himself with.
What he got instead, however, wasn't what he'd been anticipating - instead of something snarky, something that might've put even the most clever man to shame, he got a sob that dug into him deeply and a set of hands flinging themselves at his chest. It was something that he probably should've been able to dodge with ease, but the redheaded girl had admittedly caught him off-guard, if he were to be completely honest. Truthfully though, he probably wouldn't have bothered to dodge if he'd seen it coming anyway.
