survivor.

the sun will rise and i'll try again.

[bpdram]

ok so i had a good convo w *** last night. it was good. i think i got the closure i need for a lot of stuff that was still keeping me awake at night.

no, i don't think it changes my feelings for him, i guess. it's hard to say. I'm really happy he has a partner that loves him, and seems to be good to him. so i think I'm happy for him.

I'm, at least, glad he is my friend and he approached me, and somehow trying to get closer right now. i didn't expect it. but i also didn't know he never hated me like i thought he did.

I'm really glad for all of it.

really.

[bpdram]

that hurt QUITE a bit!

[bpdram]

oooouchuhtnsmtw

not *** talking to me again :(

[bpdram]

ok let me be honest for a second bc i have no one to talk to about this lol I refuse

anyways i can't tell him anything about how i am feeling because i am certain I'll come off as pushy and needy even if I'm not really asking anything from him i Know he will feel the pressure from me and i don't want it. i don't even know what i want to be for him anymore? i guess i just gave up on my own happiness so whether i am happy or not, i don't really care anymore.

it's not that i don't want to be his girlfriend anymore, i just feel like by playing my own rule i am being a burden, so im just shutting down my own feelings. is that right? absolutely not.

but i don't wanna be the toxic manipulatice one again.

does it mean I'm almost killing myself? yeah

but i guess i gotta deal w all of it on my own

[bpdram]

taking medicine to fix all of the damage 💕

[dollheartangel]

[depression-stays-but-you-dont]

[depression-stays-but-you-dont]

ko-fi

[bpdram]

I've been in a really bad mental situation and it seems like no one cares. it seems like everyone is putting themselves first. i just need a little bit of support. i really need it right now.

i don't know how I'll get over this by myself. I'm scared.

[bpdram]

ah

[bpdram]

god this hurts so much it feels like you don't even care for me in any way you don't care that i could be dying right now you don't care you simply do t and this is so so so fucking hurtful why do you hate me so bad how could u leave me while I'm in a fragile state

[bpdram]

my bf has imposed such a bad fear of break up on me that j have constant nightmares about it..

[bpdram]

the more you're away the more i realize i don't need you

[bpdram]

you couldn't help me the only time i needed you

[bpdram]

i feel awful and u didn't give a shit

i told u i wanted to die and u didn't do anytbjng

[bpdram]

we didn't even talk today and u didn't even bother tryin

[bpdram]

hoy pasé por tu casa y estabas ahí

si me abriste pero no te reconocí

de tu vida ya me sacaste

esta sonrisa la enseñaste