that ignorant shit you like

Bram Logan21 | Columbia | Lacrosse | Upper East"I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold"

[c-lovelymcbride]

I’ll keep it down, don’t worry. Despite the oddness of it all, it’s not my business to out you as a sleeper to the whole world. 

[bram-logan]

I appreciate that, but it might be too late.

[melanie-hastings-deactivated201]

Is it meant to be doing something for me?

[bram-logan]

If you'd be willing to take time out of your day to do so, there has to be some benefit for you.

[melanie-hastings-deactivated201]

Because it’d be helping you?

[bram-logan]

Right, but what would it do for you?

[c-lovelymcbride]

Excuse me, but I am an incredibly trustworthy person. Just maybe not when it comes to such scandalous secrets. It’s not every day that one finds someone who actually sleeps! 

[bram-logan]

You're practically yelling my darkest secret! I can't trust you with anything.

[warfaire]

Oh my god, are you serious? Who are you? How have you never seen it?

[bram-logan]

Bram mahfuckin Logan. I was just never interested, I don't know.

[warfaire]

Yes. No, not really, but if I did I’d probably call it Grandmother Willow. Get it? After the Pocahontas movie?

[bram-logan]

I've never seen that movie.

[c-lovelymcbride]

How dare you. I’m afraid I’m going to have to revoke your New Yorker license. You’ve left me with no other choice. 

[bram-logan]

This is the last time I trust you with a secret.

[melanie-hastings-deactivated201]

What do you mean?

[bram-logan]

Why would you do that for me if you weren't after something?

[melanie-hastings-deactivated201]

I ‘ll have it done by midnight tonight. I might leave off some of the expletives, but otherwise, I don’t see why I couldn’t.

[bram-logan]

What are you after?

[warfaire]

Who would you be without technology, hm? You’ve gotta put down your phone every once in a while.

[bram-logan]

Do you have an advice column?

[ariadeveraux-blog]

I really hate catchy songs.

[bram-logan]

But you sing them anyways, don't you?

[melanie-hastings-deactivated201]

I’ll write her a formal letter of apology. You might be out of luck in that case. Who are you following? I’ll read their tweets out to you.

[bram-logan]

I expect it by noon tomorrow. ..Are you being serious?

[warfaire]

You really can’t go without your phone for, like, five minutes?

[bram-logan]

It's been ten.

[melanie-hastings-deactivated201]

I was in no way insinuating that your grandmother was dumb. I’m sure she’s a very intelligent lady. Couldn’t you still do that with 4G?

[bram-logan]

It's too late for damage control. Far too late. 4G is stone age shit, I'm on LTE, but this shit hole has god-awful signal.

[melanie-hastings-deactivated201]

The amount of hacking I’m capable of doing is probably equivalent to what your grandmother is capable of—unless she’s very advanced, in which case, maybe she could give me a few pointers. If it’s a small family place, it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for them to provide free wifi. It’d cost them too much.

[bram-logan]

Are you trying to call my grandmother dumb? I'll let her know you said so. I'd be willing to pay for their data bill. This is ridiculous. It's 2014, I should be able to mindlessly scroll through twitter as I please with no troubles or wait.

[c-lovelymcbride]

Haven’t you heard? This is the city that never sleeps! It’d be a shame if the restaurants caved to the fatigue we’ve lost the rest of the country to.

[bram-logan]

Can I tell you a secret? I sleep.

[fridanov]

Is there a reason you keep trying to roofie me?

[bram-logan]

Simply to prove that I can.