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@brandybeachlove
anybody else going through life feeling like a dog that wasn't socialized enough as a puppy
I wonder where you are today. I have been crying on and off all day wondering where you're at.
the grief I have for him is unimaginable.
I hope he thinks of me too sometimes.
I hate remembering last July. The pain was so unbearable. I wish I could go back & not of asked anything about our potential. I am an avoidant too so what did that do for me. Knowing that I am simply just hurting myself.
I wonder if he's close to living his dreams like he always wanted too. He is most likely making more money, and I have noticed he is traveling more. This is big for him. I wish I could let him know how much I loved him. I have always been in the background supporting his wins. He just didn't choose to see me. I think about his family a lot. I wonder how his brothers are doing.
I wanted to marry him. I wanted to have his child.
He wanted to run as far away as he could.
Just leaving me behind to pick up the pieces.
in the land if gods and monsters i was an angel ʚɞ
sometimes if you are lucky
you find a home in a boy.
he holds the fire in your heart
he makes you laugh
he protects you
you trust him
you fall in love
& then one day
he leaves
without warning.
now your home
is burning down
all of your past feelings
come crashing down
all you have known
the safety is gone.
at night
I still dream of him
this time we get things
in this imperfect world
right for once.
we heal our attachment
styles & we build a new home
this time with extra safety,
and protection just in case
we lose it all again.
Maren Vestik Hole
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