i can bend and not break

break it bailey mallory son of ralph. lover of videogames. whs senior. that guy that everyone forfeits before they have to wrestle.

[enchantedevents]

YOU TWO HAD 78% COMPATIBILITY

@breakitbailey, you’ll be meeting your match at 8:00 pm sharp on the staircase. She will be wearing black and blue, and will be the girl with the Tiffany’s charm bracelet. Have a lovely time!

@lainelumos, you’ll be meeting your match at 8:00 pm sharp on the staircase. He will be wearing navy blue and will be the guy in the Master Chief (Halo) mask. Have a lovely time!

[breakitbailey]

TWITTER  | KAILEY

@kaiwaialiki: That's cute. Guys are good for throwing jailbreak parties when your ex breaks your heart tho!

@thunderbob: AND I BET THOSE PARTIES HAVE GIRLS AT THEM, RIGHT?

[breakitbailey]

TWITTER  | KAILEY

@kaiwaialiki: I don't see much of a problem with it actually! I've never really had many guy friends to begin with lol.

@thunderbob: dude girls are like... better. to look at, to online game with, to like... everything.

[breakitbailey]

TWITTER  | KAILEY

@kaiwaialiki: ....and why is that? :P Please elaborate.

@thunderbob: do you really wanna be a part of a sausagefest if you don't have to be?

[breakitbailey]

FMK bowie bianca charlie

Fuck: @charlielabouff.

Marry: @bowiebombshell.

Kiss: @bianca-sommers.

i need entertainment

[breakitbailey]

WWY ever sniff a girl's underwear?

I plead the fifth.

I Need Entertainment

[breakitbailey]

TWITTER  | OPEN

@kaiwaialiki: WU peeps -- I've been needing to distract myself lately. I've signed up for the rowing team, and now I stand with two a capella group pamphlets in my hand.

@kaiwaialiki: Which is lamer -- an all-male a capella group whose name is like...a dick joke...or a co-ed group named 'Silly Symphonies'?

@thunderbob: Dude. Always go for co-ed. Always.

[breakitbailey]

We should hang out more, dude! Sometimes I forget we're even friends.

ANONYMOUSLY MESSAGE ME ANYTHING YOU WANT TO TELL ME BEFORE 2018 ENDS.

[breakitbailey]

izziebash‌:

I love how you just own a sombrero that’s ready to go on the fly. That you’ve brought to multiple parties in the past to know that it’s a conversation piece. You do know that if a girl is stealing your hat, that probably means she thinks you’re cute, right? 

Totally! Life feels incomplete without a costume closet, that one I learned from Uncle Felix. Who always wears the same clothes, so I’m not sure why he was the one giving me that advice, but oh well! It does? Nice! I thought they just wanted to expose my bad hairline. Do people think I’m cute when they play with my hair to tell me I’m going bald, too? Like they probably don’t really need to touch me to make that point, do they?

[breakitbailey]

TEXT 🍒 BAIVIE

Sylvie: I asked Noli what I should say to this because it feels like kind of insulting that it is one or the other but she said that her whole ass nipples that showed themselves at Homecoming would like to fight me for nicest boobs, so I'd better say personality, and because that makes sense, I'm going to say personality.

Bailey: LOL I mean I guess that's fair. Sometimes people only win one! I thought you were the type of person who'd want to like, share with everyone else and not take too many. Which means I probably knew the answer before I even asked, oops lol

[breakitbailey]

Send ♔ for a admiring text.

admiring text for @sylviethorne !!

Text Message Memes  ❤ ☁ ♔ ● ♬

[breakitbailey]

TEXT 🍒 BAIVIE

Bailey: Which would you rather have as a superlative, nicest boobs or nicest personality?

[breakitbailey]

izziebash‌:

…Wow. That’s a lot. Thanks for being self-aware enough to not trust yourself with glass jars? So if you’re bringing tortilla chips I’m assuming you’re repping Mexico? 

Yeah, sure! I look awesome in a sombrero, and people love to steal it and try it on, too, it’s a great conversation piece.

[breakitbailey]

izziebash‌:

Okay, same! If I hadn’t already picked out my sexy tourist outfit, I’d so be repping like, Hawaii or something. Any idea what your contribution will be? 

Like, what am I wearing, or what am I bringing as a party snack? Because last time I went with chips and queso, but I dropped the queso and stepped on the glass and had to go get stitches in my foot instead of actually getting to go to the party, so uh... just chips this time.

[breakitbailey]

prueperiwinkle‌:

You don’t. No one wants to pay to kiss a college Freshman with a receding hairline.

Fake news, I’ve totally been kissed recently. And I’m pretty awesome at it, so you should probably reconsider.

[breakitbailey]

bijouthorne‌:

The most annoying thing ever is when you forget that you were swatching some eye shadows and accidentally end up rubbing your swatch fingers on an expensive pair of jeans. 

No way, the actual most annoying thing ever is when you mash a button too hard and break your videogame controller. Bonus points if it makes you fuck up and lose your progress on an important campaign.

[breakitbailey]

prueperiwinkle‌:

Big news in Walt! After much campaigning from yours truly, The Walt University cheerleading squad will be officially changing our name from the Mickeys, like every other basic team in town, to the Minnies! Now I know this name may be a bit demasculinizing to our male members, but honestly? Just get over it. It’s super cool and t-b-h, it kind of makes no sense that there even is a Mickey counterpart with absolutely no teams to her name!

  But whatever, the new name isn’t even the coolest part! IN order to get new uniforms in time for next semester’s official rebranding, the cheerleaders will be holding a few fun holiday fundraisers! While I have a few amazing ideas in mind, (including the ever popular Kissing Booth in two weeks!) I’d love to hear some suggestions from the WU student body!

Cool about your uniforms and all, but uh... how do I volunteer for the Kissing Booth?