[brendispeaks]

April 10, 2019.

Feels good to listen to a song and start to experience the happy "man, those were good times" nostalgia instead of the painful "sucks that you're not in my life anymore" nostalgia.

[brendispeaks]

I’ve been living under a rock.

It took me so many years and a Will Smith Instastory that was shared on Facebook for me to realize how important it is to date yourself and find your own happiness - not to rely on someone else to make you feel that way.

[brendispeaks]

The tenth.

It’s always weird looking at the date and subconsciously thinking there’s something significant to remember or celebrate, then you realize it’s an anniversary date from when you were with an ex.

It’s been over 3 years. I wonder how long I’ll look at the 10th that way.

[brendispeaks]

We did not ask for this room or this music; we were invited in. Therefore, because the dark surrounds us, Let us turn our faces toward the light. Let us endure hardship to be grateful for plenty. We have been given pain to be astounded by joy. We have been given life to deny death. We did not ask for this room or this music. But because we are here, let us dance.

Stephen King, 11.22.63 TV Show

[brendispeaks]

I want to make writing a regular thing now that I got this journal - whether it's my random thoughts throughout the day, quotes, or lists.

[brendispeaks]

YOUR GIRL FINALLY GOT A JOB OFFER!

 I start August 3rd :)

[brendispeaks]

Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning’s hush I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there. I did not die.

Mary Elizabeth Frye

[brendispeaks]

I’M SO CLOSE, I CAN TASTE IT.

[brendispeaks]

No = Next Opportunity.

My mom

[brendispeaks]

Not so sure that I’ll get this job anymore.

But here’s to hoping.

[brendispeaks]

I’m really not looking forward to the vet visit exactly one week from today.

[brendispeaks]

Boopie's in too much pain these days. We have to put him down. I've had him since I was 8. I can't even remember my life before having him. My heart has never hurt this bad. No other death in the family or breakup can compare.

[brendispeaks]

!!!

I’m officially registered for my last two classes as an undergrad.

I completed my exit counseling.

I’m scheduled to pick up my cap and gown early next week.

I’m getting my hair done next Friday so it’s on point for my graduation pictures in two weeks.

THIS IS TOO CRAZY.

HOMESTRETCH, BRENDI, HOMESTRETCH.

[brendispeaks]

Juggling 18 credits, 3 jobs, and a social life is haaard.

I’m dying (and genuinely debating whether participating in commencement next month is worth the stress, pimples, and lack of sleep).

[brendispeaks]

I'm not ready to leave home yet.

[brendispeaks]

My third (and final?) interview with HP is in an hour and ten minutes. 

I’ll be talking to one of their Senior Managers.

Holy shit, I’ve been thinking of nothing but this interview ever since it was scheduled yesterday morning. I’m so so nervous.

I hope I don’t fuck this up. 

But at the same time I kind of hope I do because jfc California is really fucking far and my whole life is here and wow am I ready for this?

[brendispeaks]

The only time you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure he has enough.

Louie CK