How to Master your Emotions
1. Get in touch with, and learn to recognise, emotions. There are lots of different feelings – but the most basic ones are joy, fear, surprise, sadness, disgust and anger. We experience these to different degrees, depending on our personality, family, culture and environment.
2. Recognize that emotions don’t just come out of nowhere. Try to pay attention to what you are feeling, and the subconscious emotions that are building up. For example, throughout the day ask yourself: “How am I feeling right now?” Notice, too, how certain people and situations give rise to predictable, habitual emotions.
3. Try to figure out what was going through your mind when you experienced a particular emotion. That is, stop and analyze your thinking at the time. Ask yourself: “What was the thought that provoked the emotion?”
4. Look for the evidence which both supports and contradicts the thought that produced the emotion. That is, analyse how balanced your thinking is. Ask yourself “Does it tell the whole story, and reflect reality?” Then, ask yourself: “Is there another way of looking at this - a way which is more rational and accurate?”
5. Recognise we always have a choice in the way we react to people and situations. Often we assume there’s only one way to react, but the truth is you always have a choice. For example, you can choose to not react all – and simply say and do nothing. Alternatively, you could try doing the opposite of what you would normally do.
6. Work on developing, and then maintaining, a positive self-image and healthy self-esteem. If we see ourselves in a positive way, and really believe that we have gifts and strengths, then we are less at the mercy of external circumstances, or the negative opinions and views of other people.