Jam Fool

Call me Briar! 32 they/them, transmasc-ish and happily married. thembo rights, Dirt Selkie and wheelchair user

[briarpatch-kids]

Hello! I'm Briar and here are the basics! (Last updated August 2023)

My blog is kind of a messy space like the rest of my life, so there's a lot here.

I mainly post about my garden, fiber arts, sewing, canning, the cat, the chickens, and disability topics.

I'm a full time wheelchair user and ventilator user with mitochondrial disease. I have a little less than half the energy I'm supposed to and that causes a lot of issues.

My health is super variable because of the above. If I overdo it or get sick Bad Things Happen and I've been told by my doctor I should look at flares in terms of weeks to months rather than day to day.

If you want to use any of my photos or video for a stimboard or moodboard, just tag me or send it to me so I can see your art!

BUSINESS STUFF

Commissions are permanently closed due to declining health

Moral stuff

This is a trans and ace inclusive space. Don't play those games or I'll block you.

I have friends here who are intellectually disabled and proud of it. If you're mean to someone for their typing or asking a question that can easily be googled I will call you out on it. Same goes for ableism of any other kind.

I am anti genocide and for a free Palestine.

I am also anti-military and one of my deepest regrets in life was joining at 17. I did not kill anyone and worked in medical but it was still contributing, and still wrong.

This is an anti racist and anti facist space. Black Lives Matter.

Please don't drag me into fanfiction stuff. I don't read it, I don't really involve myself in fandom, I've never been on Ao3. Just don't be a creep and write nsfw stories about kids or real living people. It's gross okay?

I say queer. I won't tag it, I won't stop saying it, it's part of my identity, don't ask unless you want a rant about it.

Communication

My anons are off due to people being weird about my friends and their disabilities, and I really appreciate people letting me know when I say something inappropriate or short sighted. I'm on the autism spectrum and working really hard to grow as a person so feedback is a good thing!

I also love it when anons and such tell me fun facts or talk about their day if it was interesting or whatever.

I generally try to answer DMs and asks as soon as possible but sometimes they get lost. If I haven't after a few days, please don't assume it's because I don't like you or whatever. It's because I didn't have the social energy and put it off, then my memory sucks so I've forgotten or it didn't go through so you're welcome to send it again.

I don't have the energy for group chats, I'm sorry. I want to, but I inevitably burn out my social energy in a week and then ghost and feel bad about it.

I've had a pretty variable disability experience because I went from able bodied and capable of running miles to a full time wheelchair user who needs assistance with every day tasks slowly over 7 years. I'm happy to answer most good faith questions about disability, mobility aids, and the like.

Anyone is welcome to ask for a plain language explanation of something. I will not be rude or snarky about it if you want an easy to understand answer.

I only reblog funding requests from people I have met in real life. Sorry, but I can't really vet these things and none of my followers have money anyways. We are all transgender cripples.

[yesornopolls]

Do you consider yourself lazy?

Do you consider yourself lazy?

Yes

No

Remaining time: 6 days 17 hours

[briarpatch-kids]

I want a special treat for surviving the horrors. I just don't know if I want nail stuff or orchids.

[babbyygirrrl]

I don't know who needs to hear this but... start living. The days are flying by and all you do is work, pay bills, and stress. Enjoy what you can like walks, sunsets, music, laughter. Joy doesn't have to be expensive. You deserve it.

[muppetshow2026]

i genuinely feel like im being edged

[dragongirlsnout]

y'know i don't really love how people use "butch" interchangeably with "handy"

[dragongirlsnout]

*north american approaching lesbian couple* so which one of you is useful and which one of you is the woman

[captain-price-returns]

whoopsie

[kropotkindersurprise]

[gunsandfireandshit]

[kropotkindersurprise]

[pangur-and-grim]

Grim isn’t loving this, but she’s very tolerant

[briarpatch-kids]

Theres a tall boy of Kvass in my house that none of us are brave enough to drink so I keep using it as a less cold ice pack and I just KNOW I'm gonna accidentally drink it instead of pressing it on my face.

[briarpatch-kids]

I have no idea if it's tasty or not, but it's CERTAINLY not a flavor I want to surprise myself with

[briarpatch-kids]

Theres a tall boy of Kvass in my house that none of us are brave enough to drink so I keep using it as a less cold ice pack and I just KNOW I'm gonna accidentally drink it instead of pressing it on my face.

[briarpatch-kids]

Trying not to scare or upset loved ones is such a huge motivator to me for being Okay. Like I can't do anything drastic or harmful because my husband would be worried. I HAVE to tell someone and ask for help when I am unsure I can do it on my own because if I DON'T make it my friends will have to bury another loved one and that's not fair. If I can't make it through the pain for my own sake, I can do it to avoid making them sad.

Like doing it for my own sake is preferable, but will to live lovingly shared by friends is fine too. So is store-bought if that's what you need, but I haven't found a flavor that's quite as nice as love and support from friends.

[briarpatch-kids]

I am okay. Things are okay. Sorry for posting this a lot I just scared a lot of people when I was in level 10 pain so I'm reassuring them (and myself.)

[briarpatch-kids]

Still being okay. J is leaving but I have promised to stay safe while I am by myself. I take promises really seriously and will not make promises I do not believe I can keep so it's a good way to both MAKE myself behave safely and also a way to assure loved ones that I believe I can be trusted. It's silly but being like "i made a promise so I HAVE to keep it" is a great motivator. It's sort of like mental health contracts if you've ever done one of those. Like an "i offer you a way to avoid grippy sock jail, but you gotta agree to behave" deals.

[wheelie-sick]

Since you mention you don't believe NPD is a "true" disorder. Are there other disorders you don't think are real like that?

several of the disorders in a similar category- ODD, conduct disorder, etc.

any disorder that tries to label someone as Bad Person (mentally ill style)

the symptoms and struggles are real, but they're usually attributable to other causes (like PTSD, or in the case of ODD- ADHD). they're not diagnoses that exist to help people, they exist to put someone in the Evil Bad Person box.

you'll notice it in the racial disparities of these diagnoses too. I'm not familiar with the racial demographics of NPD diagnoses but ODD and CD diagnoses are disproportionately given to POC (most specifically, Black people). there's that study that gets cited a lot showing that Black children are more likely to get diagnosed with ODD than their white peers with the same symptoms who get ADHD diagnoses instead.

[dogpuppy]

[briarpatch-kids]

Husband says I can get a really nice orchid when I'm feeling up to leaving the house for anything but dental appointments or medical if they figure out what's causing the wretched pain THIS time.

[thestuffedalligator]

Human Is is a 1955 Philip K. Dick sci-fi short story where a guy goes to another planet for work and when he comes back to Earth his personality has flipped from an asshole to a sweet, kind, considerate man. Everyone's immediately convinced that an alien has taken over his body, this goes all the way to court, and in court his wife testifies that she's noticed no changes at all and so the charges are dropped.

And then there's a bit right at the end of the story as the wife and the husband are walking out of court:

Jill turned abruptly. "What is your name? Your real name."

The man's gray eyes flickered. He smiled a little, kind, gentle smile. "I'm afraid you would not be able to pronounce it. The sounds cannot be formed..."

Jill was silent as they walked along, deep in thought. The city lights were coming on all around them. Bright yellow spots in the gloom. "What are you thinking?" the man asked.

"I was thinking perhaps I will still call you Lester," Jill said. "If you don't mind."

"I don't mind," the man said. He put his arm around her, drawing her close to him. He gazed down tenderly as they walked through the thickening darkness, between the yellow candles of light that marked the way. "Anything you wish. Whatever will make you happy."

And I. God. There's something there. A soupcon of monsterfuckery. To tell your partner in a moment of intimacy that yes, you're something so inhuman that the lips you're stealing can't speak your actual name. You're a parasite that not only had the ability to burrow under this man's skin and take over his life, but you were so desperate to escape a dead, dry, blasted planet that you did.

And for your partner to then turn around and go "I know, I've always known, and I love you" is just. God I know it's not a great Dick story but something about it is making me lose my mind