No Vaginas Allowed | A Memoir by Molly Bee
Recently I had an interview to be a Writer’s Assistant for an adult animated comedy show. Being a writer’s assistant is my dream job; for a wannabe writer, it’s essentially the equivalent of finding the last golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Thus, I was naturally very excited for the opportunity to interview for such position — despite that the show wasn’t exactly my type of comedy.
Writer’s Assistant jobs are very hard to get if you’re not a member of some sort of exclusive secret society (think Disneyland’s Club 33) — apparently hurriedly typing notes and organizing lunch plans for a roomful of picky eaters is the most popular job in the world. On another note, it’s a longstanding dream of mine to be invited to Club 33 (if anyone has an in, please help a girl out).
Anyways, I went in for the interview for the raunchy adult animated comedy. In preparation, I watched every episode of the show because that’s just the kind of incredible interviewee I am. The show is full of sexual innuendos and “hilarious” jokes about boobs (lol boobs, am I right?). The interview went great — I defended my fast typing skills and ability to climb onto a steep ladder to place story boarding cards to help the writers effectively visualize plot points in the proper sequence. In all honesty, I don’t have a lot of experience in ladder climbing, but who doesn’t tell a little white lie in the hiring process? Besides, I think it’s a skill I could acquire on the job.
Nevertheless, like I said, everything was going great — white lie and all — until the Executive Producer told me he was a little wary about having a woman in the writer’s room for fear that she might “freeze the room.” He said that some of the show’s material was offensive and objectifying to women and that he didn’t want the male writers to feel shy about carrying on in their ways.
I just want to pause here to say that I appreciate the concept of potentially offensive comedy. I am in no way a pretentious prude (just kidding, I am totally a prude). Yet, like many comedians, I believe that comedy that is offensive or exaggeratedly vulgar can be successful— that is, if it’s tremendously funny or provides a unique satirical interpretation of the world.
For example, Amy Schumer is an excellent example of a comedian who uses raunchiness and risqué content to cross lines for the sake of successful/productive comedy. In Inside Amy Schumer’s sketch “Last F**kable Day,” famous comedians Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Patricia Arquette, and even the glorious Tina Fey, meet Schumer in the woods to talk about the idea that every female actress has a “Last F**kable Day.” The sketch portrays the women as vulgar and brazen. It’s really funny — and to top it off it’s also a commentary on ageism and sexism in Hollywood. You truly can joke about f**king and farting in a smart and clever way — and Schumer’s here to prove it to all those adult animated comics out there.
Back to the profound subject at hand: if you cannot have a woman in the writer’s room of your TV show because the material is so offensive to women, perhaps your problem extends beyond trying to fill the position of Writer’s Assistant. You wouldn’t say a black person isn’t allowed in a writer’s room because the material of the show is offensive to black people. Hello, that’s racist.
Yet here this successful and experienced Executive Producer sat across from me, saying to my face that he feared my mere presence, as a woman, wouldn’t compliment the writers’ artistic creativity. Personally, I would categorize his reluctance to put me in the writer’s room as sexism rather than a gallant pursuit to maintain creative freedom. But that’s just one girl’s opinion.
I guess this whole experience backs up all those goofy people who are arguing that representation and diversity behind the camera is important. Who knew? Not Matt Damon, that’s for sure.
It’s a crazy idea, but maybe having a woman in the writer’s room — and having her “freeze” the room — would force the writer’s to use that creativity of theirs to create actual comedy that’s inoffensive. Maybe having a woman in the writer’s room could improve the show’s content. But that’s just an idea. I’m just a woman, what do I know?
I guess to me the shameful part isn’t that racism and sexism still exist behind the camera. Rather, it’s that high-ups in the industry have no shame in blatantly admitting it. Gosh, if you’re going to discriminate, at least be subtle about it! (Before anyone gets all huffy and puffy, that was sarcasm).
I know it’s shocking, but I didn’t get the job. My intuition tells me that it probably went to a man.
