Britney Spears has a great laugh: warm and deep. While watching the new New York Times documentary Framing Britney Spears, I couldn’t help but be taken aback by it. When she laughs, she sounds like the teen girl she used to be and the person many of us loved.
Framing Britney Spears details the case for her unusually long conservatorship, but it also shows us what Britney represented in the early parts of her career, especially to the people who looked up to her: a new understanding of what it means to be a young woman.
Most pop stars of the 90s were grown women like Madonna or Mariah Carey. At the time of Britney’s rise, boy bands like the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC ruled the charts. There was no pop star quite like Britney—young, athletic, Southern, sexual, down-to-earth—at least not publicly. Janet Jackson, the star she most closely resembled, was a little bit different, for she had a family in the industry. As a black woman (who are often hypersexualized), Janet was also allowed to explore her sexuality and transition into an adult career. But Britney was all alone, facing pressure from all sides.
All of this wasn’t apparent at first, of course.
Growing up as a dancer, gymnast, actor and singer, Britney was an easy idol for me to latch on to as a young teen. I grew up watching the Mickey Mouse Club on the Disney Channel and wished I could one day be on the show. Her dance routines in songs like “...Baby One More Time” and “Sometimes” were easy to follow. Occasionally, she’d throw in a back handspring (we called them flip flops back then) or a pirouette, making her movements all the more relatable.
On the phone with my mother Sunday night, I told her I had just watched the documentary. “That poor young woman. Been through too much,” she told me. Although my mother is a 65-year-old Black woman, I believe she sees in Britney’s experience a particular type of cruelty towards young womanhood that many of us have faced.
Britney Spears was a manifestation of young womanhood to the extreme, both praised for rigidly conforming to the oxymoronic desires of the public and destroyed for her efforts. From the outside looking in to her life, she embodied the spirit and tenaciousness of a new kind of teen and young adult woman, one who understood and could reclaim the power of her own sexuality and femininity.
Nearly every public figure experiences some kind of fall, but Britney’s was particularly brutal, and it played out in front of an audience of girls who saw themselves in her. Watching the film now, from the safety of adulthood, I kept thinking that it’s a wonder any of us made it out of the 2000s in one piece.
Britney not only ushered in cultural resets in style (think low rise jeans) and music (think the rise of pop music), but also our understanding and derision towards the sexuality, independence and identity of young womanhood. Those both in support of and against her choices could project narratives (whether they be true or not) on what she represented for society as a whole. Conservatives could point to her and argue that the youth of today had lost all their morals (like when the First Lady of Maryland said she wished she could shoot her), while fans could say that she represented a new form of liberation.
The suffering of a young woman can itself be a commodity. Even now, as we weep for Britney and all that she gained and lost, deep down we may also recognize ourselves in her fragility. What goes up must come down. But Britney’s placement on the pedestal was so high that her tumble down was all the more public, traumatizing and cruel.
The media (both tabloids and the more reputable outlets) salivated over young women’s sexuality and terrorized them for making it visible. They relied on irony and judgment, both chastising women like Britney while also thriving on the exploitation of her image. Paparazzi turned stalking into a career path. As the documentary noted, some photographers could make up to $1 million dollars for the right shot of Britney. And the number of cameras hounding her were so large that she often couldn’t even do the things she aimed to do, like drive a car. Her life was more than just a spectacle; it was also impossible to live. Simple things like going to the store or leaving a building turned into headline news.
In one scene of Framing Britney Spears, we see the star repeatedly say she is scared while trying to navigate through the hordes of (largely male) paparazzi. It’s clear that was not the first time she was ignored by the paparazzi or her handlers.
Successful musicians sign up for a certain level of fame due to the nature of the job, but most don’t clamor for the sort of inescapable notoriety and utter lack of privacy we saw in Britney’s life at this time. What is a meaningful life if nowhere is safe?
If you were a basic girl, reading gossip magazines like US Weekly or watching reality TV, the mixed messages were coming for you, too. Be chaste, but be sexually liberated; be “real” but be perfect. No one girl—one woman—would ever be good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, or pure enough, but the world would certainly expect you to try, and punish you when you inevitably failed.
Missing during this media era was a true, mainstream feminist voice to identify, dissect and call out this kind of behavior. Britney appeared on the cover of Jane magazine in 2002, but the left-of-center women’s magazine shut down by 2007, right around the height of Britney’s paparazzi frenzy. Imagine a generation of teen girls with sites that discuss women’s issues to dissect this frenzy. Social media outlets like Tumblr, Twitter, and Facebook were around, but they were not the cultural behemoths we know them to be today. What could teen girls learn about the sexist treatment of the most visible young woman in the world if the discussions were not dominated by the salacious and instead were led with empathy?
The need (if there ever was one) for traditional tabloid media has been eliminated in the contemporary world. In response to the toxic culture of the aughts, the proliferation of social media has now made “regular” people the stars and turned the gaze inward. People today can find success through the commodification of themselves, making the pressure to perform, to put on a show for our audiences (no matter how small) all the more daunting. Celebrities, too, have jumped on board, creating their own narratives, whenever they want, whether good or bad.
We see this with Britney to some degree through her Instagram account, which has become one of the only places where fans and onlookers can get a glimpse into her highly controlled life. It is also the place where some feel Britney is sharing coded messages to those concerned about her wellbeing. It’s difficult to tell if she is completely in control of what’s shared on the platform, but her content certainly feels more open and vulnerable than nearly anything else we’ve seen post-conservatorship. And if the conspiracy theories about her life hold even a semblance of truth, her account is also the place where Britney can regain agency, however small, in a world that has stripped it from her.
I am a 33-year-old woman with no kids, but I can see a more inclusive and outspoken society growing everyday. Oh, what I would have given to have a true platform to call out the insidious racism and sexism that permeated everyday of my teen years. When I was a young teen, we had platforms like LiveJjournal, but it was less ubiquitous. I think the world is better to young women, young people, today than it ever was to me. And if it is not, I can only hope that the people of my generation take the cruel lessons we learned observing stars like Britney during our young adulthood and create a kinder, more empathetic, more understanding future.
After months of research, writing, recording, and editing, I’m proud to present our new podcast special. South Side Stories: Dr. Margaret T. Burroughs, is now live. Created with Postloudness and Sixty Inches from Center, this podcast special co-stars Zakkiyyah Najeebah and me as we explore the work of Dr. Burroughs, including founding the DuSable Museum and the South Side Community Arts Center. We also ask what it means to build a legacy of ones work and how Dr. Burroughs helped nurture and build the foundation of black artists, both here and in Chicago.
I knew some information about Dr. Burroughs prior to creating the show, but it was such a joy to dive deeper into the life of this profound black woman in the arts who wasn’t afraid to do what was necessary to make her vision a reality! That was what initially drew me to this project: how have our elders and ancestors paved the way for us black creators in the present?
Many thanks to Cher Vincent for her work editing the show (and also not outright hating my podcast writing, lol).
It’s finally done. Seven and a half years in one apartment is now over, nearly the entirety of my twenties. Forced out by my Landlord’s retirement, but maybe it was the universe reminding me it’s time to move on and grow up and say I deserve more than busted windows, uneven floors, a hole in the back porch, and a general sense of unease from the crumbling exterior. Basically, that “just good enough” doesn’t have to be “good enough.” Not now. Not after all of ... this. Still, I’m consumed with the memories of this dirt-cheap two bedroom, just me and my books and: - six jobs - two layoffs - five Friendsgivings - three boyfriends - four energy healings - five lung collapses - one sexual assault - one pregnancy - one miscarriage - one failed book proposal - one tumor ablation surgery - one super secret Facebook group which saved my life after it all - plus, a handful of friendships lost - and even more friendships gained Catch me twenty blocks north ... hopefully with more triumphs and less baggage. (at Chicago, Illinois) https://www.instagram.com/p/BocoC2RHa7d/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=p5kdjuu88ke4
Another year older. This birthday is quieter than the last. Some ideas: ++ Your job is to navigate around the gaps of other people’s minds. Your job is to see the light at the end of the tunnel, always. Your job is to always keep climbing, even as their racism and sexism and ableism and everything else blows fiercely through the air like a downpour. You are the only fighter in this fight. Protect yourself, and keep climbing. ++ All of this will be too hard for you they said, and yet I kept going. What choice do we have except to keep going? What choice do we have except to radically, ridiculously, righteously pursue what can be ours and what should be ours? You either take them on their word, or you believe those silly little dreams of yours matter. I chose the latter. ++ The only truth of the world I could accept was I only have this life, and I only have these moments, and I only have one mind. To compromise even a little bit of who I am in the very core of my being would be to spit on the sacrifices, memories, struggles, and fights of my ancestors to get me to this very moment, right here and now in this second and this second. And this one too. Who am I to reject family, to reject myself so I may fit in, when the world has already told me I will always stand out? ++ Weigh the strength of your mind, expanding into the vast possibilities only certain with life lived, and keep going. ++ Why be the things they want you to be instead of the pure, good, unique thing you already are? (at AIRE Ancient Baths) https://www.instagram.com/p/BoPj3BhnTt8/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1q2k66k5a980m
My first batch of captions, written for @guccibeauty’s celebration of beauty in art history. ////////// 1. Portraits of two women, 1950. Lois Mailou Jones 2. Girl with Cherries, 1491. Giovanni Ambrogio de Predis 3. Portrait of a Court Lady, Seated Half Length in an Embroidered Robe, mid 19th century. Chinese School 4. Portrait of a young woman with a gilded wreath, AD 120-140. 5. Portrait of Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire, 1785. Thomas Gainsborough. https://www.instagram.com/p/Bn_pcS-nz_H/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=4mdikc0yicyk
A summary of my writing workshop, #todayatapple. That’s me in the corner. 📸: @flowreyes (at Apple Michigan Avenue) https://www.instagram.com/p/BnfHgQrAi2t/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=8ssqey3584ih
The dress code was: “that thing in your closet that you love but have no place to wear.” So I wore this sparkly bodysuit Donna Summer thing for the first time ever. I remember nearly three years ago, prior to the launch of her business, when @bonvivantcakes said she was “experimenting with making cakes, just for fun” and asked if she could make one for my birthday. I legitimately cried that night, having never tasted a dessert that good. It’s amazing what can change in a few years! Congrats to my dear friend @bonvivantcakes for the opening of her kitchen/events/coworking space, @mavenchicago! The space is beautiful. The treats were amazing. You are a true queen. (at Albany Park, Chicago)
Felt terrible for most of the day, but a last minute invite to @arianagrande’s #sweetenersessions made it better. And @lifeofthepahty joining the fun made it even more memorable and fun! P.S. My lipstick is actually pink. (at The Vic Theatre)
Felt terrible for most of the day, but a last minute invite to @arianagrande’s #sweetenersessions made it better. And @lifeofthepahty joining the fun made it even more memorable and fun! (at The Vic Theatre)
NEW YORK TIMES: ‘It Felt Like I Was Wrapped in One Big Hug’: Inside the Chicago Gay and Straight Alliance Prom
Last month, I was happy to attend the Chicago GSA (Gay and Straight Alliance) Prom, a celebration for high school age kids in the Chicagoland area. The night was almost 13 years to the day when I attended my own prom! It was a beautiful, silly, sweet night full of dance breaks to Lil Mama and lots and lots of candy. I’m thankful for the opportunity to be witness to something truly unique and special, especially as an old lady millennial outsider.
My story, for The New York Times, is my first Surfacing and Styles longform piece and features amazing portraits by Adam Jason Cohen.
READ THE WHOLE THING HERE.
It also appeared in print on the cover of the Sunday Styles.
BON APPETIT/HEALTHYISH: Ashley Novoa Wants Everyone to Experience Their Periods with Dignity
The Chicago Period Project is the future. I had an amazing chat with Ashley Novoa, the founder of the organization which provides free menstruation supplies to homeless and in-need people throughout the Chicagoland area. Read the story, my Bon Appetit debut, here.
