He's a cup of Erykah Badu.
Usually they say the early years of a child’s life are the most crucial. But tbh, I think I just made that shit up 2 days ago when I saw my nephew, lol. It’s true. The same way I want to remember the first year of his life is the same way I want to remember this past year.
August 15, 2014.
I met my soulmate, best friend, lover, companion, traveling partner, confidant this night in a wall-sweating, pitch black, football- pitchers- full -of- mysterious- drank house party. He asked to slow dance, I lied & said I didn’t know the song and I was like “next song, promise” and he’s like “come on you don’t know r. kelly?” I gave in, slowly. We moved slowly. There was no rush. I learned a lot about him that night & those moments I can say determined the pace of our relationship. We moved slowly, There was no rush.
We have broken up a million times. Fought horribly.. to the point where I didn’t believe he was the right one. We parted into needing space & found ourselves back. Not in the “I need you so much” but more so in the realization of “wow, I need you.” It was reciprocated, it was mutual, we never really did take a break. We just kept learning more about ourselves on this journey together. And maybe we never ever did make it into an official thing because we enjoyed being free spirits that could only find comfort in the other.
It’s crazy. Time flies..
I remember him telling me things like “Brittny, I need to see you. Can you come out?” and just the feeling of knowing something is so worth it and so right.
I let so much of my guard down with this man. So much of my truth was uncovered, exposed, and just being manifested with him. I wouldnt change it for the world.
Moving forward —
I want us to continue loving each other daily. To continue waking up in the morning and texting each other with so much love and excitement for the day. To when our eyes meet for the first time of the day and it always feels like the first. To experiencing the world side by side organically with no published itineraries just flowing through the world with each other, our feet, and our imaginations craving for the most.
When I say I have discovered a side of me that no one else could have done a better job at.. I owe it all to you. No one person has fallen in love with me because of my independentness, my confidence, my head on my shoulders, and you remind me that, constantly. Without saying & with. I love you for your unconditional caring, for always leaving your emotions out there, for being an open book, for experiencing with me, for discovering new aspects of human nature together, for band-aiding the lows and bettering me by telling me what to do differently next time if i failed a test or squandered my money or left the house without a coat, for staying up at 2am in the library every other night whenever I need to finish an assignment and you don’t have any more work, for surprising me on my birthday when i came into the room and saw a bouquet on my desk with presents and a card and broke down, for being on the shuttle with me that one friday night after we were aggravated with each other and being 100% down to take a train to Virginia and spend 2 nights there (1 technically sleeping in the lobby of the hotel) and grubbing on cup noodles & easy mac in that 7/11 at 4am while we waited for our room to open at like 7 LOL, for throwing like $4 cash at the Chinese man and running away with stolen food like a fuckin boss & getting in trouble together, for being always patient when it came to my health issues — always asking what you can do, staying up with me till 6am at HUH, for kissing me with the exact same proportion of passion whenever I’m extremely sick (and contagious), for being spontaneous, for being silly with me every second we get the chance, for being an open ear no matter what time, for letting me call you if my anxiety got the best of me, for fucking loving every inch of me.
One day in Atlanta you said to me, “You’re an extension of my element.” And after that, I have never found better words pieced together.. to describe us.
I fucking love you Adam. Here’s to a million more.
P.S. — come home so I can fuck the shit out of you.
-sugar scrub
