[brnbabe]

What’s the point of anything

If in the end we are all going to die

At least once a week I think about Taking my life

I want to walk into a forest and blow my brains out

I’ll make sure it’s a place where I’ll never be found

I feel lonely and forgotten

This feeling will only grow as I age

The only reason anyone knows I’m alive

Is because I post on my Instagram page

But beyond the screen, I don’t feel seen

And what difference does it make if I live or die

[brnbabe]

Childhood Love

You don't know what You Want

Childish Love

You Wish on Whims

[brnbabe]

Late night Beeps and Vibrations from your phone

Doesn't she know that you are at Home

Didn't you tell her, the night is Ours

Or Did you Extend her Visiting Hours

[brnbabe]

“The first time I Masturbated”

Laying Face up, Facing My Guilt

Preserving my Modesty

Under Warm Sheets

Lies my Nude Body

Hiding from Gods View

I'd go to Hell if he Knew

I want Mundane Pleasure

Closing my Eyes, Trying to clear my Mind

Wondering if Ill enjoy my First Time

[brnbabe]

31

Making the same mistake

I made at 21

Was Called a Puta so much

I finally Become one

Hoeing is a habit

True love,

Never had it

I want it,

But it’s not for me,

self-sabotaging,

Breaking cycles,

But I’m still not free

[weltenwellen]

Andrea Gibson, Lord of the Butterflies

[brnbabe]

y asi se acabo nuestro amor,

Como emprezo,

Con un suspiro…

[brnbabe]

my stories have no conclusion

and problems dont end in resolution

[brnbabe]

i cant be the happy girl you want me to be

[brnbabe]

It haunts me, follows me around like a ghost,

The resentment of not having known,

The Person I could have Been,

If I was allowed the Space to Grow,

Instead, I was Showered with Shame,

Scathed by the People who Swore to Love me,

Who is she? Who could She have been?

She would have followed her Dreams,

Blooming like a Sunflower

in the Middle of Summer,

Walking Confidently,

She wouldn’t know Fear;

Maybe,

I’ll never know,

She Doesn’t Exist,

Yet, I grieve, because I wish she Did,

Instead, I grew like a plant in Distress,

Wilting,

Yellowing,

Bearing no Fruit.

[brnbabe]

Since tumblr’s censored now, y’all can check out my content at https://onlyfans.com/brnbabe

OnlyFans

[brnbabe]

You broke me

You broke me down with your words

You broke me down with your physical abuse

You broke me down to the point where I don't know if I can ever recover

You broke me Down with your violence

You taught me violence and I forgot how to love

I forgot how to love myself

I forgot if I ever did

I forgot how to live without fear

I forgot how to trust

I forgot how to let others love me

You taught me to hate myself

When I make a mistake, I am harsh to myself

I want to cut myself and make myself bleed

Who taught you violence?

What must you have gone through to become so mean?

Whatever they did to you

That's what you did to me.

[brnbabe]

I am Beautiful

But

I am broken

I can't drink without crying

I tear my lashes off

And let the tears flow

It's almost like I can't experience joy

Without self sabotaging

I lose my phone

I lose myself

In alcohol

It's my frenemy

I drown myself in it

Then drown myself in self pity

When I make a fool of myself

It's not fun anymore.

[windowbox-tarot]

Deck Discourse #1: The Clow

Today I want to do something a little different. Instead of drawing a card and talking about that specific card, I want to talk about a specific, non-traditional deck as a whole, rather than draw cards from it to look at that specific card.

I want to talk about the deck’s significance, its history, its symbolism, and it’s use in reference to modern day divination and readings. So, these posts will be REALLY long, because they will contain a lot of details and research. I want to be thorough.

I think this is something I would like to include in my journal only every so often, because it’s a lot of typing and researching and stuff, but it would also bolster my knowledge about tarot and card divination, so I still feel it’s useful to do every so often.

I’ve decided to call these spin-off posts Deck Discourse, and that’s what they’ll be tagged as if you want to whitelist/blacklist the tag! (I understand not everyone wants super long-winded posts on their dash.)

If you want to include something, you feel I missed something, or if I made a mistake, feel free to reblog and add your own thoughts! I love hearing what the rest of the community has to say about these things, and it would certainly be helpful to me in my studies!

So, let’s get started!

Today, for the first Deck Discourse, I want to talk about The Clow Cards from the anime Cardcaptor Sakura by CLAMP. This is a pop-culture deck that a lot of anime fan practitioners have learned to adapt to readings.

You can download your own, as well as a copy of the fortune book here! And if you want a physical copy of an actual deck and if you’d also like the Sakura Cards, you can find both decks here! There are also fancy boxes that look like The Clow Book, but they’re twice the cost per deck than just getting the decks together from what I’ve seen.

But before we can get to the actual divination stuff, I would like to provide some backstory and context. Spoilers for the show below the cut! Considering what we’re talking about, spoilers cannot be omitted!

Keep reading

[the-spoonie-witch-blog]

THIS GIVES ME LIFE!!! When I was little I saw maybe the 2 first episodes of the show and thought it was neat, but the cards, THE CARDS! I saw them in Blockbuster video (the kind that came in the fancy looking book) and HAD to have them. I BEGGED my Mom and promised to do all kinds of extra chores so she would buy them for me, I just had to have them and didn’t even know why! I’d take them out just to hold them, look at them like I was trying to connect with them, and started doing readings with them- before I even knew what tarot or anything like that was. It just felt right! I didn’t even get far enough in the show to know they were used that way, when I found out I was kind of shocked, actually. I actually just moved and was going through my stuff thought, man I don’t have those cards anymore, but I REALLY want to get another deck.. and I don’t know why.. NOW I know why! AH THIS IS SO COOL!!!

[stormwaterwitch]

Thank you so much for making this *^*

[witabif]

you know, I almost threw out the deck that I got back when I was a kid, but I kept thinking about this post and brought them back into my room. thinking about adding this to my repertoire.

[windowbox-tarot]

I’m so happy to hear that! I’m so happy to hear all of this!

I’m reading all these reblogs and y’all are making me so happy that you like my insights and that I’m inspiring other readers to pick up their decks and add stuff to their readings!

Honestly, it makes me a little jealous that I don’t have a Clow deck of my own (yet)!

[brnbabe]

One day someone will make me feel beautiful and desirable in a way that you don’t, and I’m afraid of what I may do...

@brnbabe

[brnbabe]

Heartbreaks and Beer

Beer's bitter Taste Complements Heartaches

Liqueur​ on My Lips Mimics your Sweet Kiss

Cigarette Butts Only when I'm Drunk

[brnbabe]

We Loved Eachother, but we Hurt eachother just as Much.