Broken Camera Lens

Pride & prejudice. She wings it but she mostly got it right. Or at least survived it all. Mostly reblogged stuffs but sometimes, when she finds the mood during the busiest days, she writes here too. Choleric-Sanguine. An ambivert. Bad aesthetic. She's curious. She says what she feels. Or she doesn't say anything at all if she thinks it's not worth it. Emotionally invested in tv-serials. She likes to travel despite all the routinities reality binding her. She talks about her self on third-person. Blessed assurance, steady as she goes. Excuse her while she lowkey kiss the sky.

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Tak selamanya mendung itu kelabu

Nyatanya, hari ini, ku dapat bernyanyi kepadaNya.

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"So my soul surrenders to my faithful God."

"You're my hope, my anchor, I trust in You."

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Pasrah sempurna, nikmat penuh.

"Perfect submission, perfect delight."

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Did you think I didn't see you? There were flashing lights.

At least I had the decency to keep my nights out of sights.

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"Hanya dekat kasih-Mu Bapa,

Jiwa ku pun tenang,

Engkau menerimaku dengan sepenuhnya."

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Today on the pattern

I’ve been having difficult times to make a decision whether to pursue my master this year or next year due to some consideration and preference. I’m grateful for the chance God has given me though. I really need His courage and wisdom about which path to choose.

“Are your decisions made more by yout mature self, or the child within?”

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It’s been a very stressful confusing week, whether to choose my head with all its logical and wise consideration the future me will thank later, or simply just take a leap of faith and listen to what the heart say, because the heart wants what it wants.

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Semua berkat kemurahan-Mu.

June 8th, 2023

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“Hanya sekejap ku berdiri, ku lakukan sepenuh hati.”

“Sedihku ini tak ada arti, jika Kau lah sandaran hati.”

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Fearfully and wonderfully made.

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Hell was the journey but it brought me heaven

Time, wondrous time

Gave me the blues and then purple pink skies

And it's cool, baby, with me

And isn't it just so pretty to think All along there was some Invisible string Tying you to me?

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I believe my encounter to this particular song right after i turned another year older is no coincidence. Thankyou universe (and of course the Lord who created it). “Today and everyday, I honour and celebrate myself.”

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I took a vow that from now on Imma be my own bestfriend.

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Setiap langkah ke tempuh, ku toleh Tuhanku.

Setiap hasrat ku gelut, ku tanya Tuhanku.

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When you feel afraid to do something, just do it scared

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Some Other Arms - Benjamin Francis Leftwich

Some other arms are holding you down as I wait at the gate Some other charm is making you stay as I make my escape Over the moon, under the ground I don't care how we work out I wish you no harm If some other arms are keeping you happy I was afraid of you tying me down So I ran from the scene When I came around I was on the back foot begging you please Over the moon, under the ground I don't care how we work out I wish you no harm If some other arms are keeping you happy And I know you say, "That boy could not be saved" And I know you ache for the love we used to make

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Bertubi-tubi

Lord, have mercy on me so I could walk out of this valleys fast.