if i look back, i am lost
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@brujon-abc-blog
-smiles and holds her, running his fingers through her hair- Thatās okay. As long as you donāt expect me to be a certain way. And I wonāt expect you to be a certain way.
All Iāve ever wanted was to be lovedā¦.I thought I had it with Babet but with this I can feel it..
-nestles his face into her hair- I'm sorry you got hurt so many times by men in your life. I will make sure that Babet's been the last one.
-smiles and holds her, running his fingers through her hair- That's okay. As long as you don't expect me to be a certain way. And I won't expect you to be a certain way.
-sits on the bed, her legs crossed-
-very softly- I never had any feelings before I met Arthur. It was always a thing on the inside and he was the first person who helped me show those feelings on the outside. Except him, you are the very first person I ever allowed myself to love. And I do love you. A lot, I think. But I'm not quite sure yet how to cope with that love. I don't know how to cope with being scared, or how to cope with being excited when you kiss me. So if I'm not able to show you how much I like you right away, please don't think I don't like you at all. I need to learn how to love people, okay? Maybe you could help me and teach me?
-stays-I know.
-blinks- You know what?
I know you say you love meā¦. But are y-you sure?
-smiles- C'me here, I explain you something.
-stays-I know.
-blinks- You know what?
Always babyā¦ -she goes to kiss him but Fillette jumps in between them-
-laughs, quickly pecks her lips anyways and then takes fillette back to bed- Donāt take what I say too seriously. I make a lot of jokes.
Iāll keep that in mind. -gets into bed again-
Good. Donāt get hurt over shit I say. -watches her coming closer- Was that it? Was that a fight? Youāre coming back to me now?
I guess. -shrugs-
-holds his arms open for her- C'm here.
Gillenormand. -smirks and turns to her- Youāll be happy, yeah? Promise me.
I promise you. As long as you promise me the same thing.
Sure I'll be. -shrugs, pauses, then smiles a little, loiking at her again- Promise.
-nods, silenced- Iām scared too.
-nods, brings his arms around himself- But youāll be there with me. Itāll be fine.
-after pause- And you know what? We'll be able to really get lost.
Oh come on, even American women canāt be that terrifying. -smirks- Of leaving all this?
Yeah. -shrugs- I mean. Iāve lived all my life here. I grew up here. My maman died here.Ā
-nods, silenced- I'm scared too.
You damn do. Good.
-laughs- Right. Iām more terrified than Iād like to admit.
Oh come on, even American women can't be that terrifying. -smirks- Of leaving all this?
-grins- As long as you donāt miss it.
-grins back- Why would I? I have someone hotter.
You damn do. Good.
Iāll miss it. -smirks, but itās almost a smile-
-shrugs- So will all the gorgeous women in Americaā¦
-grins- As long as you don't miss it.
-breaks into a brief laugh- And you need to stop with those jokes. Cās already sceptical ābout you and youāll hurt Gillenormand if you continue with'em in his presence.
-smirks, and then after a moment, nods- All right.
I'll miss it. -smirks, but it's almost a smile-
-smirks and shoves him away- And very loud nose-blowing too, I hope.
-grins- Ew, thatās disgusting. Maybe, though, if thatās what youāre into. Itāll be fun.
-breaks into a brief laugh- And you need to stop with those jokes. C's already sceptical 'bout you and you'll hurt Gillenormand if you continue with'em in his presence.
Tz. -stiffens for a moment then hugs him back, tightly, before rolling his eyes once more and patting his back- You better donāt be too emotional or I rethink my decision of making you my best man.
I canāt make that promise. -nods- Iāll cry. There will be very ugly sobbing at your wedding.
-smirks and shoves him away- And very loud nose-blowing too, I hope.
-rolls his eyes- This is the proof that I talk too much. I have no idea what youāre referring to.
-grins- Just accept it. -pats his shoulder, and then after a moment, leans forwards and hugs him-
Tz. -stiffens for a moment then hugs him back, tightly, before rolling his eyes once more and patting his back- You better don't be too emotional or I rethink my decision of making you my best man.
Brujon did sing the lullaby. Only quietly, though, and after a few verses he trailed off, his eyelids too heavy to keep them open. Eventually he stayed silent and continued to sing in his mind, and the grip around Babet loosened. But he didn't immediately fall asleep. Everytime for good three hours when he noticed he was sinking into unconsciousness, he woke himself up, blinked hia eyes open, and made sure that Babet was still there.
