buckyownsmylife fics and writings

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[buckyownsmylife]

hold it against me - ben barnes smut

The one where Ben's your best friend and his girlfriend has every right to feel jealous

Warnings: cheating (you and Ben on his OC girlfriend), smut

Your P.O.V.

“It’s so good to have the both of you here!” Graham greeted us, and I forced myself to smile. We were nearing the end of this press tour, only a few more interviews and I could retreat to my house, my sanctuary away from people with cameras and microphones, trying to pretend they cared about me.

“We’re very happy to be here.” Ben reached over and squeezed my thigh, making me turn to the side to look at him. He was another thing I was trying to escape too, even if I had to try my hardest not to let it show.

“Yeah.” It was all that I could add, oh so brilliantly. Thankfully, it came across as shyness more than anything else, so the audience and Graham just laughed. But Ben knew better. Ben knew me better than anyone else, so I wasn’t surprised when he whipped to his right in search of my eyes, trying to silently communicate with me.

I didn’t meet his gaze. I didn’t want to comfort him, reassure him that I was okay because in all honesty, I wasn’t. And I was tired of pretending that I felt fine when every second I spent by his side, my heart was breaking on the inside.

“You two have been the talk of the internet ever since the series came out! Everyone’s shipping! Everybody wants to know if your relationship has translated from the screens into the real life.” Yeah, I knew this was coming. Every interview had been the same, it partially was why I was so tired.

Next to me, Ben just laughed, not at all affected by the question. “Well, we were good friends before it and it was a dream to be able to work together! I feel like we ended up becoming even closer. I consider Y/N one of my best friends.”

I tried not to cringe at the actually very adorable words he dedicated to me. They were sweet and they were the truth. We’d been friends for so long now, it was what made this entire predicament even harder to deal with.

“Oh, so no romance between the two of you?” Graham wiggled his eyebrows and winked, making Ben laugh. I forced myself to join, knowing it’d only hurt my case if I didn’t. I couldn’t think of anything worse than to have to sit through countless memes of my sad face on the internet.

“No, just on the screen. Unfortunately, I don’t think my girlfriend would appreciate me entertaining any romance with Y/N outside of it.” He winked at me and the audience cheered once more, the sound of frantic clapping deafening me for a second.

Is this what heartbreak sounds like?

The rest of the interview went by without a hitch, thankfully. I was able to play my role of the enthusiastic best friend, and I don’t think even Ben was able to see through my mask. But the second it was over and I was alone in my place, I allowed myself to break down into tears, thinking about how his arms felt around my body, squeezing me tightly to say goodnight before getting into his own car and driving back to his apartment.

Where she would be waiting. Images of what they might be doing while I sat alone in my couch and cried only made me feel worse - they made me feel sick, but I couldn’t stop them from coming. So I allowed myself this grief, at least for now. I needed to get this out of my system if I was supposed to survive it, and I didn’t want to lose Ben’s friendship over my unreciprocated feelings.

The first few days were horrible. I stayed home by myself eating ice cream and pretending to watch Disney movies when really all I could do was remember all of the moments that had led me to fall for Ben and cry.

This was the first week we had been allowed some break after the press tour started. I had so much I wanted to do, a lot of friends to visit, but I just couldn’t will myself to leave my place.

The fourth day came and with it, a sudden and unexpected anger directed to the man that was the reason for my sorrows. This entire thing would be so much easier - no, it never even would have happened, if it wasn’t for him, after all.

Why did he have to be so sweet towards me? He made it impossible not to fall for him when we were filming together. We had to see each other every day and even worse, kiss each other quite a lot because of our characters.

He’d constantly bring me my favorite drink “so I could start the day right”, then invite me back to his trailer so we could share a pizza and rehearse our lines. He always had his arms around my back and he’d demand cuddles often, becoming angry when I didn’t immediately comply.

I didn’t even know he was actually dating until the girl came to visit us one day. And in my defense, he looked as surprised as I was upon seeing her there, so it really didn’t seem like he was planning on telling me about his new relationship any time soon.

I was lost in my own mind, playing with the memories of our moments together when my doorbell rang, startling me. I wasn’t expecting anyone, so I didn’t even stop to consider changing out of my sweatpants before opening the door. The second that I found Ben’s face waiting for me on the other side, I came to regret that decision.

“What are you doing here?” I asked somewhat harshly, only due to shock. What the hell was he doing at my place? Thankfully, Ben didn’t seem to mind, probably not noticing the colder tone my voice had assumed.

“I thought we could watch the new season of that TV show you like. I saw that it’s on Netflix now.” My heart skipped a beat at his words as he made his way to my living room, overwhelming me with his presence that had always been nothing short of comforting up until then.

The realization that this would be my life from now on - resenting and fearing Ben’s presence instead of relishing in it felt like a punch to the stomach.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” He spun on his heels, grabbing something on his pocket to raise it right before my eyes. It was a locket, heart-shaped and clearly made of actual gold.

“What’s that?” I asked, even though I clearly knew what it was. I knew it because I remembered confessing to him all those months ago that I’d always wished to have one, but I wanted it to be gifted by a person that meant a lot to me, not simply bought at a store.

I told him I wanted a locket that was gifted by the person I’d like to keep a picture inside of it.

And sure enough, once he let the necklace fall on my palm, I opened it to find a picture of the both of us, back when we were filming together, laughing and teasing one another.

Back when I didn’t know he had a girlfriend, and allowed myself to fall in love with a man I believed to be available.

“Oh, I saw it and it made me think of you.” He shrugged like it was no big deal, even though his ears were red and I was staring at him with wide eyes.

This felt like some twisted joke. My stomach was burning, for a minute I thought I was actually sick from all the ice cream I’d been inhaling over the last few days.

“Don’t you like it?” He asked, scratching the back of his head. I knew him well enough by now to know that he was nervous, but I was too frustrated with everything that was going on within me to worry about how he felt at that moment.

“Ben, what would Elizabeth think if she knew you’ve given this to me?” He seemed shocked by my words, like he wasn’t expecting them at all. And for the first time since we met, I found myself hating his confusion, almost hating him - probably because I wanted to be able not to love him at all.

“I-I don’t know...” He eventually said, eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t think she’d mind, she knows we’re just friends.” There it was again. ‘Just friends’. Just. Friends. As if friends behaved in the way we did, touched each other so eagerly and needed to be around one another all the time, just like we did.

Rolling my eyes, I moved to get away from him but before I could, he captured my wrist, stopping me. “What’s going on? You seem mad.” Was I? I wasn’t happy, that much I was sure. But mad didn’t seem to be the appropriate word for what I was feeling, either. “Did I do something wrong?”

The concern in his tone shocked me into dropping my defenses. I was hurting him, I realized. The fact that I’d been brunt and cold and distant all of a sudden - I’d forced him to feel the way I’d been feeling, even if that wasn’t my intention.

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Try as I might, I couldn’t keep the defeated tone out of my voice, so I opted to just ignore it, praying that he’d do the same as I turned my back on him, taking advantage of his shock to tug my arm free and escape towards the kitchen.

“What is this about, then?” Sighing, I abandoned the glass I’d procured in the hopes of drinking something to ease my nerves, facing Ben once more. He still looked confused, but there was something else in his eyes - something I couldn’t quite place.

It almost looked like anxiety. Like he was scared to lose me, but also a bit irritated over not understanding why this was happening.

It wasn’t a look I was used to see in my best friend’s eyes. And I loved him way too much to be able to just witness him in any pain, without doing anything to help. Now that I was the one causing it? Hell, there were a thousand things I’d rather do than to live through that.

So I swallowed my pride and I straightened myself up, trying to find the courage to say what he deserved to hear, even if it would kill me and possibly destroy our friendship forever. “Ben, I think we need some space. From each other.”

The look he sent me was so devastating, it almost had me backtracking, but I gritted my teeth and looked down, focusing on the marble counter that I gripped as I struggled to get the words out.

“You have a girlfriend. And I know for a fact our... connection has led people to believe we were together before. I think we need some time away from one another to be able to be together as friends without... without acting so much like lovers.”

I was proud of myself for getting it out. So proud, in fact, that I managed to stand tall and look him in the eyes again while I waited for his answer.

I just wasn’t expecting it to bring me so much fury.

Ben’s P.O.V.

“But... we’re just friends.” It was all I could think to say, being caught by surprise as my heartbeat sped up at the prospect of losing her in any way. Unfortunately for me, it seemed it was already happening - the look she sent me spoke of her disappointment and hurt, and it made me all the more confused.

“Yes, I know that!” Frustration dripped out of every word from her lips, and try as I might, I just couldn’t understand it. And I wanted to. If our friendship was on the line, I’d do whatever it took to make it right - but I needed her to explain what was going on to me.

“Why are you so mad about it?” Sighing, she took a few minutes to gather herself before being able to look me in the eyes.

“Because we don’t act like just friends,” she shouted, “and I don’t feel like just your friend anymore.” Suddenly, my heart was speeding up for a completely different reason, as clarity finally began to ease my mind.

“You don’t?” I asked, needing to be sure of what was happening. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship over a silly misunderstanding, even if it was everything I had wanted for so long.

She shook her head, arms crossed as she looked at me almost like a child, pouting beautifully. I couldn’t help the grin that opened up in my face. “You want me?” I confirmed, taking another step in her direction.

“Of course, I do!” She yelled in response, “How could I not?” There was no waiting any longer. I took her in my arms and connected her lips with mine, wanting to fuse this moment into the very fabric of my brain so that I could remember it forever.

Her lips were so cold. I wanted to warm them up, so I ran my tongue over them before I realized what was happening. She sighed against my mouth, opening it up easily and I had to swallow the smile that threatened to break apart our kiss to press her against the refrigerator, my thigh settling between her legs so I could be as close to her as possible.

She hissed when my lips abandoned hers to trail kisses up her neck, stopping to swirl my tongue against the skin behind her ear. “Let me make you feel good,” I whispered, catching her as her knees buckled when I suckled on her earlobe, my body fully supporting hers now, pressing her further up the refrigerator.

“Ben...” She moaned and my cock hardened in my pants. I had never expected to actually hear her like this, much less whispering my name. It was something I didn’t even allow myself to dream about.

“Ben, seriously.” I felt her hands press against my chest, pushing me away right as I began to nibble on her jaw. Startled, I immediately dropped her, a million different thoughts running through my head.

Did she not want this anymore? Did she regret it already?

“Ben, I’m not going to be able to let this go, okay?” She asked, clearly scared to connect her eyes to mine but holding her stare anyway, and in that moment, I had never loved her more.

Smiling, I pulled her close to me once more, connecting our foreheads as I stared into her eyes. “Don’t let me go, then,” I begged, cupping her face. “I’m begging you,” I clarified, needing her to know this to be true. “Never let me go.”

There was a silence after my confession, a pause in the moment. I couldn’t figure out what was coming, so I just did what I felt like doing: I wrapped my arms around her and tried to rest my head on her chest, only to be sharply pushed away.

“Ben!” She admonished me, and I couldn’t understand what was going on inside her mind, so I just waited. She sighed, turning around and shaking her head, hugging herself the way that I wished I was doing. “You shouldn’t have come here.”

Huffing, I approached her again, taking advantage of the fact that she had her back to me, and hoisted her up onto the counter, not minding her outraged scream. “Let me touch you,” I begged, staring at her intently while she tried to avoid eye contact, hands closing into fists as she ignored me as hard as she could.

It didn’t last long.

“I can’t!” She yelled, and I could see the frustration in her teary eyes. I knew I was breaking her heart, doing this - pursuing her while I was still dating someone else, but I couldn’t stop myself.

“I need to touch you,” I confessed, laying my hands on her thighs and rubbing them up, carrying the skirt of her dress with me. “Y/N, I need you desperately.” Maybe it was the way I said her name, but she grew weaker under my hands, more pliant. I took advantage of it, perhaps selfishly, and took off her underwear as I spread her legs and caressed her pussy.

“I’ve been trying to pretend that all I need from you is our friendship because I never believed that I could ask for more of you, but I want it, Y/N! I want it all!” I kissed her once more, moaning against her lips as I pressed my fingers inside of her.

“Your body, your soul... your love,” I continued as I lowered myself down to my knees, licking my lips at the sight before me. She was wet and puffy and ready for my tongue when I pressed it against her, and I moaned at the taste of her wetness.

If this was a dream, I didn’t want to wake up.

“Oh, god,” I moaned again, licking her up and down and pressing my tongue inside of her, groaning, when I felt her fingers grabbing at my locks to keep me there. “The way you taste...”

“Good?” She panted, and I eagerly nodded.

“Perfect.” I pulled away abruptly and got up, panting as I helped her take off her dress and stared at the beauty before me. “Teach me how to touch you,” I asked, biting down on my lower lip as she pulled on my hand and guided it back to her pussy, showing me exactly how she liked to be touched.

I moaned with her when I felt her pussy clench and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the spectacle even if a meteor should fall on top of us. “I’ve always wanted you to be mine,” I admitted, pulling out my fingers just as I felt her orgasm start. “Don’t cum yet.” I rushed to lower my pants just enough to free my cock, and wrapped my wet fingers around it, fucking myself quickly. I nodded at her to continue where I left off, explaining, “I want you to cum with me.”

She nodded, getting to work while I watched the scene unfold captivated by her little moans, the way she fucked herself on her fingers while she stared at me. Nothing could ever be better than this - except maybe being inside of her, but that would have to wait. Until we could get to bed and I was not a man tied to another woman. She deserved that.

She deserved the world.

We came together, like I hoped we would. And as we panted, staring at each other, I knew one thing for sure: I was never going to let her go.

[buckyownsmylife]

something he doesn't know - bucky barnes smut

The one where your boyfriend doesn't treat you rightm so Bucky shows him how you deserve to be treated.

Warnings: friends to lovers, revenge on an partner, "partner swapping", asshole licking, mirror sex and most likely more that I forgot to write down and now can't be bother to reread yet another time.

Your P.O.V.

I wasn’t completely stupid. I knew Ransom was interested in Natasha - I knew he was interested in pretty much any woman who walked in front of him with a short skirt, and sometimes not even that particular attire was necessary. I’d known it from the very beginning, but at first, when the idea of this new relationship was still shiny and fresh, I sincerely believed that I could change him.

Two months in and I knew I’d been a fool to ever believe that in the first place.

So okay, I was a fool. But was it really necessary to check out my best friend while I was standing right there? The lack of respect was getting to me, but I was too embarrassed to consider breaking up with him.

It took my other best friend, Bucky, to make me see Ransom for who he truly was.

“How can you handle this?” He asked me one night where I’d invited my boyfriend to the tower in the hopes of spending some quality time with him, only to lose him to Natasha once again.

Poor Nat didn’t even know what to do, it was obvious she didn’t enjoy the attention, but Ransom couldn’t realize it. He was too transfixed by her beauty, caught in her allure.

I couldn’t even blame him. Natasha Romanoff was beautiful, and I felt lucky to be her friend. It just sucked that my boyfriend seemed to prefer her to me.

“You know you shouldn’t have to deal with this, right?” Bucky asked me for the thousandth time that night, and by then all I wanted was to strangle him.

“Yes, I know!” I wanted to scream, but all that I managed to get out was a whisper. “But what the fuck am I supposed to do?” I thought I would shut him up with that question, but Bucky grinned.

“I have an idea.” Nothing good could come of it, I knew him well enough to know it by now. “How willing are you to have sex with me?”

“Excuse me?!” I was in shock, understandably so. To tell the truth, I had a crush on Bucky for the longest time - way before I even met Ransom - but I kept it hidden because I never imagined I had a chance with him.

“Well, think about it,” he insisted with a wink. “It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity to show your jerk of a boyfriend how he should be treating you.”

I didn’t think that I would, but I did end up thinking about it. I was going to break up with him anyway - might as well teach him a lesson that he wouldn’t forget.

Ransom was quickly on board with the idea of partner swapping since it meant he’d get to fuck Natasha. He didn’t even stop to consider that Natasha and Bucky weren’t together. It had me reconsidering everything I’d ever shared with him, and wondering if he’d ever even listened, or if he simply didn’t care. As long as he got to fuck her, I suppose.

The night of the arrangement came and I was understandably nervous. I stood in front of Bucky in my lingerie with wide eyes, asking him silently to help me get on with the deal.

He wet his lips before he asked me, “Come here.” I followed blindly because I trusted him with my life.

He pulled me to the other side of the bed, as far away from Ransom as possible, and my supposed boyfriend didn’t even notice, too occupied tripping over the pants he was eagerly trying to get out of.

I was taken by surprise when Bucky leaned over and kissed me. It was so different from how Ransom kissed me - it was sweet and dare I say, loving.

I was instantly addicted, and that couldn’t mean anything good, considering my situation.

Bucky brushed away a few strands of hair from my face, hand holding it close to his as he remained leaned over me. He rubbed his beard over my neck, making me giggle. I felt his smile against my skin, and it elicited goosebumps on it.

“Are you ready to be fucked by me?” He whispered in my ear, and I gasped at the words, not expecting him to be so crude.

“You need someone who needs you too,” he informed me, pushing me softly to lay on the bed as he took off my underwear and pressed kisses to the inside of my thighs. “And I’m gonna give it to you, sweetheart.”

“Whatever you want,” he continued, pressing a kiss to my clit. “Whatever you need.” And that was the last thing he said before he dove right in and started lapping my juices, eating me out like a starved man.

I was only half aware of the other couple in the room, their clothes already off as they danced around one another, trying to get the upper hand.

I had something much more interesting to focus on, like the way Bucky sucked on my clit to make me gasp, or how he slipped two fingers inside of me and immediately started scissoring them, making me groan.

We had faced so much together, from missions to friendly disputes. I don’t know how I hadn’t realized that he was interested in me too.

His tongue was driving me insane, taking me higher and higher on that peak of desire. When it slipped further down and licked my asshole, I moaned, but my moan was interrupted by my boyfriend’s voice talking to the girl he was fucking.

“Beg for me,” he ordered, and I had to bite down on my lower lip so I wouldn’t giggle. My gaze met Bucky’s, and I could see that he mirrored my amusement just as Natasha herself laughed.

“Oh, I don’t beg, pretty boy.” She was about to get her strap-on, I realized. But before I could witness it and laugh at Ransom’s undoubtedly shocked face, Bucky pulled me down with a gentle, “Come here.”

Turning me towards the mirror, he shoved my face down as he prepared himself to push inside of me, lathering his cock in the juices that were overflowing from me.

And then he slipped in and oh…

Bucky was so rough. Rough in a way that would usually have me stopping Ransom, if he were the one fucking me. But with Bucky, I could see that it was just desperation, and damn… it felt good to be this desired.

“You were an idiot to let me fuck her,” Bucky addressed Ransom, but I could see through the mirror that his eyes never left mine. “Has she ever screamed like this for you?”

I hadn’t even realized I’d been screaming, not until Bucky pulled me by the hair to face the man I called boyfriend.

Ransom was bound by his wrists and ankles to the bed he thought Bucky and Natasha shared, but in reality only belonged to my red-haired best friend. He looked pissed beyond belief, his dick almost purple as it laid on his stomach, and I had to bite down on my lower lip not to laugh at him.

“You know, I should make you apologize,” Bucky continued, at the same time quickening his pace so that my breasts jiggled underneath me, making me moan loudly at the pleasure of being fucked so roughly. “You haven’t been treating your girl properly, but you don’t have to worry about it now. I’m gonna make her cum more times tonight than you’ve ever made her cum during your entire relationship.”

All of my attention was on Bucky now, on his hands, the way they were sprawled over my back and ass, burning up against my sticky skin.

Ransom tried to call for me, but I couldn’t care less, not with Bucky’s dick making me see God and the heaven’s above, and I was cumming around it for the first time that night.

I didn’t even notice Natasha had abandoned him until I felt her tongue licking my nipple, and I looked down to watch her wink at me, her pussy spread open for Ransom to take in with his hunger.

But he couldn’t have her. Oh, no, he couldn’t. And after tonight, there was no way he’d ever get mine again.

“Yeah, that’s where you belong, kitten,” Bucky said, almost as if he could hear my thoughts. “Riding this dick, and not with that fucking loser.”

We heard a whine, and looked up to find him struggling against his bonds. He looked hurt, and an evil part of me felt comforted after all of the pain he’d put me through.

“You look pathetic,” I managed to say, even though it came out more like a moan. And I was rewarded with a kiss from Bucky, who pulled me up by my hair and turned me around just enough so he could get his lips on me.

“God, you’re the girl of my dreams.”

It was hard to care about anything else after that, much less Ransom.

[buckyownsmylife]

In finding you what if another omega comes knocking on the door? Does reader get overly possessive of her men?

She most definitely would!

God, what was that sound? You were woken up by it, even if it wasn't unpleasant, it did seem... annoying. Like an incessant flurry of quips, determined to make you grind your teeth and frown. You got out of bed, noticing the absence of your lovers, only to realize that the sound you were hearing was, in fact, giggling.

As in, someone else was here. Someone female. Two someones, by the sound of it.

Immediately, you tensed up. Who were they and what were they doing here, with your men? And what exactly was so funny that they couldn’t stop laughing?

Deciding to forgo getting dressed in anything other than the big shirt of Ari you had slept on, you made your way across the house and in the direction of the kitchen, determined to find out once and for all who these women were and what they were doing in your house.

“We got lost in the woods,” you heard one of them say as you approached. “Its so lucky that we found such big, strong men to help us.” 

An instinctual growl rose up from your chest, something you had never experienced before and it almost freaked you out, but Ransom ended up catching your attention as he pulled Frank to the side - close to the door - and told him, “I don’t like this.”

What Frank had to say in response to that, you’ll never know, because right then and there, Steve’s voice echoed around the kitchen, “Stop right there!” That was the moment you chose to step into the kitchen, finding the two girls easily as one of them had her arm stretched out, reaching towards one of your Alphas.

You could kill someone right then and there.

“What the fuck is going on here?” The rational part of you knew, of course, that nothing untoward had happen between the girls and your Alphas, but that part was not in control of your behavior now. And the boys seemed to understand it, as they all took steps back from the strangers and had their attention now focused completely on you, as they tried to decide what was the best course of action now.

“They were lost,” Frank explained, his arms stretched out towards you, clearly wanting to wrap them around your body and cuddle you until all of your anger had all but disappeared. But you were still too out of it to allow him to do that, so you just stood there, hands on your hips, waiting for more information. “We offered them some tea while they wait for their ride.”

You knew that made sense, your boys were polite to a fault, but you were still irrationally mad about it all. "I want them gone," you ordered - not something you were used to do, but the situation (how you were feeling, at that moment) called for it.

They hesitated, obviously not wanting you to feel uncomfortable, but not having it in them to just throw the women out of the door, onto their own luck.

You sighed. "Get them back to the village," you at last agreed. But you made sure to look each and every single one of them in the eye before adding, "but I want you back in fifteen minutes, not a second longer!"

Ari chuckled, "Yes, ma'am!" And in a second, he turned around and gestured for the both of them to follow him towards the door, not even bothering to wait and check if they had been following or watch for their reactions.

Good. That made you feel somewhat calmer, but there was still an uneasiness inside of you, something clawing to make its way out.

A hand curling around your shoulder snapped you out of your angry thoughts.

“Feeling better now, sweetheart?” It was Steve, and the mere scent of him, his warmth involving you as his larger frame engulfed you from behind was almost enough to fully relax you.

Almost.

“I’ll feel better once Ari’s back.”

[buckyownsmylife]

Leave out all the rest - Charles Xavier smut

The one where the reader is depressed and Charles is desperate to help.

Warnings: depressive and suicidal thoughts, angst, smut

WC: 7K

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“What the hell are you doing?” His voice reached me as I looked down from my window, barely balancing on the border. I froze, instantly knowing what he would think, but that made me almost fall over. As I screamed, he ran towards me, grabbing my forearms and pulling me inside the room once again.

I was shaking as I clinged to him for dear life. Such a weird feeling, suddenly reminding me that despite what my brain thought, my body still refrained from the idea of me actually dying. As the shaking started to fade, I noticed three things. First, I was crying. Second, Charles was actually holding me to his chest, effectively keeping my weight off the floor and on him. Third, he was eerily quiet and, raising my head to look at him, I realized his eyes weren’t focused on me, but on the wall in front of us.

His jaw was so tight-locked I was afraid he could break it and so I raised my hand to touch it, leaving it there. That caught his attention. He looked at me, but only briefly, before taking us to the edge of my bed, where he sat with me still on his lap. I moved to sit next to him and relieve him of my weight, but his hold on me tightened. “Stay,” he ordered more than asked, but I couldn’t find it in me to question or to disobey. So I simply waited for him, feeling tiny and scared, looking at the man I loved staring into a wall so forcefully I honestly wondered how it still hadn’t crumbled.

Keep reading

[buckyownsmylife]

friendzone - chapter 3

The one where director!reader is forced to work alongside her new work crush and the idiot who broke her heart

For general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist.  

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Getting back to my hotel room to find Chris sitting in front of my door was a nice crash back to reality, especially considering where I’d been until now. Henry had taken me to a little food park, nothing fancy - it was exactly what I needed, and I was all the more grateful for his simple ways.

Paired with that British accent, I was one second from dropping my panties in front of him, but he let me go once the elevator stopped on my level with nothing but a simple kiss on the cheek. 

“I don’t want to rush this,” he’d said, and once again, I understood. But after the make-out session we’d had - and the significant bulge I felt underneath me - to say I was disappointed would be an understatement.

And now, seeing Chris waiting for me in front of my room, it didn’t help the many emotions I was trying to reel in. He had a way of always getting under my skin, and in the situation I was in at that moment, that was the last thing that I wanted.

“Where the hell were you?” He asked at the same time I questioned, “What the fuck are you doing here?” The fact that I was the most aggressive out of the two of us didn’t surprise me anymore. He’d been driving me crazy for months now. I could barely recognize the person that I had become.

“It’s none of your business,” I rushed to inform him, but just as I twisted the knob to make my way into my bedroom and leave him in the hallway, that ugly, angry feeling that he awakened inside of me made me add more to it. “You don’t get to worry about where I was or who I was with anymore. We’re not together, remember?”

I don’t know why I still cared enough to try to push him. It’s not like I expected him to care. But just as his face began to become purple, I started to question my previous assessments, ‘cause that wasn’t the expression of a man who was unbothered about my whereabouts.

No, that was the expression of a man who did care very much about me. I just couldn’t figure out why.

“Let me into your bedroom,” he ordered.

“Never,” I countered, already wavering in my stance because of the fire in his eyes. I’d only seen them like this in the beginning of our relationship, long before he ever planned to hurt me the way that he had.

“Please.” I don’t know what happened. One second I was pushing him away, determined to ignore him, the other I was pulling him in and kissing him as if my life depended on it.

Was I drunk? Or high? What could have possibly justified the betrayal I was performing, even though Henry and I didn’t have anything solid to stand on?

“God, I missed this,” Chris groaned as he shoved himself inside my room and I wet my lips as I pulled away from his kiss, trying to remember why I shouldn’t be doing that.

“Remember how you loved the way I use my tongue…”

“No!” I yelled, pushing him away only to find him staring back at me with a pout on his lips. A fucking pout!

“Don’t be such a tease.” Did he think that would help? It seemed like he did, ‘cause he tried to get closer while I moved out of his reach in my hotel bedroom.

“I’m not being a tease. I just don’t understand what the hell it’s going on here.” Chris shrugged as if the matter at hand was nothing to him.

“I still want you, that’s all.” I should have been shocked beyond all words, but some still managed to get out of me.

“Don’t make me laugh.” Out of all things, he looked offended by that, somehow.

“I’m not joking.” At last finding me cornered against a wall, he pulled my hands into his to get me to look him in the eyes.

“What do you think? You and me, together again. You know it makes sense, sweetheart.” Hearing pretty stuff now had me sweating - an instinctual response of fear. “You know you have always been the one for me…”

“Then why the fuck did you fuck someone else?” He actually cowered at my words, something that I wasn’t expecting to happen, not in a million years.

“Because I was stupid.” His voice was barely over a whisper this time, and despite knowing better, I found myself getting lost in his eyes as he continued, “And I hurt the one person I loved the most.”

Love. The one word he’d never said to me, not while we were still together. I never expected to hear it from him, and maybe it was the surprise or the buzz from my night with Henry, but I found myself leaning in for a kiss that stole my breath away.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” Chris whispered in my ear, eliciting goosebumps as he rushed to take care of my clothes as if he feared I’d change my mind again.

He was right to fear. But I was weak, for him or just in general, I didn’t know and I didn’t care to figure out while he was on his knees, pressing kisses down my thighs while he opened me up to him.

I tried to speed him along, worried reality would come crashing down around us, but he only laughed.

“I’m the one who’s in control here, baby.” I shivered at the old familiar nickname, and then moaned out loud at the contact of his tongue on my clit, making my hand fly down to grab at his hair.

“Where’s your toy?” He asked after licking me for a while, knowing me well enough to know that I never traveled anywhere without one.

I didn’t tell him anything, but he easily located it on the first drawer of the hotel’s nightstand, and then he returned to bed brandishing it with victory in his eyes.

“That’s my girl,” he spoke while I wished he would remain quiet, but I still let him press the wand to my clit while his fingers slipped inside of me, making a mess of the bed underneath us.

“Don’t fucking cum yet,” he growled once my legs started shaking, and any other day, I would have listened to him.

As it was, I couldn’t take it anymore.

He didn’t complain once my orgasm hit me, instead focusing on allowing me to ride it out on his fingers. Wand forgotten by our side on the bed, he allowed himself to rest there for a bit, a sweet smile on his lips as he watched me.

“I haven’t seen you this relaxed since…”

“You stopped trying to make me cum?” I asked, sitting up all at once and looking for my clothes with eagerness to get this entire evening behind me.

“Wait, what?” Unsurprisingly, Chris didn’t seem to be on the same page as me, slowly sitting up in bed as he stared at me with wide eyes.

“Put on your clothes!” I yelled, throwing them at him as the rush of adrenaline and the endorphins started to leave my body, leaving me too tired and stressed for someone who had just had an orgasm.

“Please, give me a chance…” Chris tried to talk to me as he obeyed my request and fixed his own clothes, looking like a kicked puppy all the while.

But I was over giving him chances, even though I had just allowed him to give me an orgasm. “I know you don’t love me anymore, but I-”

I froze in place, my heart rushing and my mind struggling to believe that he would finally say the words I’d been waiting to hear for so long.

“I can’t live without you.” I couldn’t believe this. I couldn’t believe that I had almost fallen for it, again. “I’m being honest,” he insisted while I pushed him in the direction of the door, so fucking done with this entire evening by now.

“You’re honestly trying to get laid, that’s what you are.” And I meant it. I knew Chris by now, better than I probably knew anyone else in my life. But still, seeing him just before I closed the door to his face had my heart squeezing at the sight of his wide eyes and pout, and one thing became clear in my mind: cheater or no cheater, I still wanted to see him happy.

And wasn’t that fucking fantastic?

[buckyownsmylife]

Crash & Burn - Chapter 5

The one where Bucky is your father best friend, and the man you want to take your virginity.

Bucky is losing everything: his wife, his business, his house. And when his best friend is too busy to offer him the support he needs, you offer him your ear and shoulder. He wouldn't find it too bad that getting closer to you made him see you with new eyes, if it wasn't for the one thing you asked in return: you want him to be the first man to ever fuck you.

For general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Where are we going?” He hadn’t said a word since we left the house, which we did in a hurry greater than that one time he and my father scored tickets for the superbowl and were afraid we were going to miss it.

I didn’t mind the suspense or the hurry, to be honest. At least this time he’d let me take my time changing clothes. It was the curiosity that was killing me, but all of my questions went unanswered on the drive down to wherever-the-hell we were going.

“Just wait and you’ll see…” It was all he told me, and as much as I wanted to press, I decided it’d be best not to do it. James must have had his reasons to keep this away from me, and I trusted him with my life, especially after what had happened the night before.

I still couldn’t think about it properly. Just imagining him undressing me had my entire body growing hotter, and since we were side by side in his car, it wasn’t the type of place I could lay back and let my imagination get the best of me.

Still, I couldn’t help but wonder… Did he enjoy what he saw? I knew I must have looked gross, all covered in puke, but once he’d cleaned me up, did his gaze wander more that it should?

Was he having as much of a hard time being alone with me as I was having with him?

“We’re here.”

To my surprise, we’d stopped in front of a bar. It looked ran down and grungy, the type of place I’d never have the guts to visit alone, but I wasn’t alone. The only question is… what were we doing there?

“I don’t want you to associate drinking with bad experiences or emotions. And I especially don’t want you to drink to feel numb.”

His concern for me had me feeling all warm inside. Nodding, I accepted his proposal and climbed down the car to join him on an afternoon of drinking shenanigans, which was a thousand times more fun than the night I’d previously had could have possibly been.

Getting back home, he hadn’t drunk as much as I did, so he was still able to drive and listen to my drunken babble about stupid stuff. Somehow, we’d ended up on the subject of crushes, and I admitted I had a crush on him when I was younger.

“I even imagined I was kissing you when I had my first kiss.” A sharp inhale echoed around the car, but no other reaction was heard from him.

“The guy was that bad? That you had to picture me instead just to get to kiss him?” I knew he was trying to brush it off by joking, but I was too drunk not to want to be taken seriously.

“No, I was just that in love with you,” I insisted, only to receive silence back in return. I didn’t think much of it until he laughed under his breath, breaking said silence.

“Good thing you got over that crush,” he assumed. "Can you imagine how weird it would have been when you lost your virginity?”

I laughed with him, but not for the same reason as he did. “Well, there’s still time,” I assured his confused state. “I haven’t lost it yet.”

“What?!” He asked, clearly shocked.

“C’mon, I just told you,” I insisted, remembering the conversation we had in the bar even through the foggy haze of the drinks I’d had. “Guys my age are… disgusting.”

I thought I had stopped speaking, but apparently, my mouth kept moving as I thought out loud, “They’re not like you.”

Then, I looked at him as he drove his car, all sexy in his leather jacket and simple white t-shirt, without even realizing it.

And I said the words I would come to regret. “I want your cock in my mouth.”

I don’t think I would have realized what I had done if it wasn’t for his reaction. The car swerved to the left for a second, and we both went flying out of our seats despite the seat belts well attached to our bodies.

“Are you trying to kill me?” He asked once he was able to take control of the vehicle again. “Is that it?”

And all I could think was ‘Shit’. Alcohol really did make me think out loud.

“Are you angry with me?” I managed to find the courage to ask him once he had parked in front of the house, neither of us rushing to climb out of the car despite what had happened - or perhaps because of it.

“I could never be angry with you.” He shook his head vehemently, and that helped me - a little. Because he was still avoiding my eyes, not wanting to connect his beautiful blue hues with mine, and that meant he was still uncomfortable about what had happened, and it killed me.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized, and that earned me the eye connection I was looking for. He didn’t look disgusted, which I considered a win. If anything, he looked a little bit… intrigued?

And I don’t know what happened. Our eye connection lasted longer and longer, and then the distance between us grew shorter and shorter, until he was leaning over me and his lips were on mine.

I never wanted it to stop. It was the sweetest kiss I’d ever had, and it made me feel like crying when he pulled away to stare at me again.

“Your lips are really soft,” was the first thing out of his mouth, and it had me smiling widely at him, not prepared for the following words that would come out of his lips. “Let’s just pretend this never happened, okay? This… would be wrong on so many different levels.”

And I found myself nodding, ‘cause I didn’t know what else to do other than to accept that the crush I thought I had on my father’s best friend was bigger than it had ever been before.

[buckyownsmylife]

a higher place - august walker smut

The one where a misunderstanding leads you into where you belong: August's arms.

WC: 1.5k

Warnings: jealousy, misunderstandings, crude language, possessiveness, kind of knife play, dub!con if you squint (since reader is so willing), kind of public play? (they’re in a bar, but there’s no one else around), daddy kink, spanking, orgasm control, unprotected sex (don’t do it!), creampie.

A/N: a special thanks to my dearly beloved @sparkledfirecracker who read this over ages ago and helped me make this a better read! Your comments were right on the spot and your reactions are always so motivating!

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Whose shirt are you wearing?” The question took me by surprise, especially since I didn’t expect it to come from that rough, sexy voice I’d come to know so well. I didn’t even process it, not expecting to hear anything in the empty bar since the last call had been almost an hour ago. I’d been alone to close the place since Peter helped me kick out the last drunk guys causing mayhem.

“August?” I asked, letting go of the glasses I had been wiping and turning around to find the familiar man that was a regular long before I’d even started working in it. “It’s been so long, how have you been?”

His eyebrows furrowed, confusion evident even if it didn’t make sense to me. I used the rag over my shoulder to wipe my hands as I got out from behind the bar to approach him.

“August?” I repeated, now my own eyebrows furrowed as I stared up at the man towering over me, his chest heaving as if he was struggling with some intense emotion that I caused him. His eyes were fixated on my breasts. I would have believed that to be the case had I been wearing anything with a neckline, but since it was nothing more than a regular loose t-shirt, his obsession didn’t seem to make any sense.

“Are you fucking anyone?” The question caught me off guard: it didn’t help me understand what was going on or where it had come from. Even though August and I had become friendly over the time since I started working here, it was way more of a shared sense of comfort brought by him defending me from sleazy customers than any actual attempts on his part to become close to me in any way.

I’d even started to talk myself down from the stupid, silly crush I’d been harboring for him. He was a man, an attractive, intimidating man, who could have anyone he wanted. What would he ever see in a simple bartender who had only ever been with one guy her entire life?

“No, I’m not,” I decided to clear out, once and for all, even though I didn’t understand why he wanted to know and wasn’t particularly fond of the tone he used to ask me about that. “Don’t see how that’s any of your business, though.” 

I turned my back to him, decided to return to my position behind the bar, hoping the barrier of the battered wood between us would help realize his questions sounded invasive and didn’t make sense to me, but before I could do that, a calloused, strong hand gripped my elbow, stopping me before I could get too far.

August’s much larger body was pressed tightly against my back, stopping me from turning around and checking on him again, and my heartbeat was thundering inside my chest, the adrenaline suddenly getting to me. What the hell was going on?

Even despite his unusual behavior, I didn’t fear him. It wasn’t terror that filled my veins, rudely awakening my senses, begging my body to stand in alert. It was anxiety, sure, but mostly anticipation. 

Something inside of me knew this was different, and was hoping for a good kind of different. The type that would end up recreating one of the many dirty dreams I’d had about the man behind me ever since we had met.

“But I want it to be my business,” he spoke low against the shell of my ear. I could feel every hard muscle of his being pressed against me, especially once his hands wrapped around my body, squeezing me against him.

“So I’ll ask you one more time.” I whimpered when his hand grabbed my jaw, turning my face to the side so he could better speak against my ear. “Whose shirt are you wearing?”

Trembling, I at last confessed, “It’s Chris’” immediately latching on to an explanation. “I spilled beer all over mine earlier, and he had this in his locker, so he lent it to me.”

August’s sharp inhale resonated across the empty bar, adding to the cocktail of emotions that had me drenching my panties when I  felt the edge of a knife being slowly pressed against my thigh, his smile against my shoulder.

“I knew you wouldn’t just fall in someone else’s arms.” I whimpered when a flick of his wrist reduced the shirt I was wearing into nothing but scraps of fabric, laid out on the floor. “I knew you felt it too, this connection between us.”

He turned me around in his arms, both hands cradling my face even with the knife still in his hands. I should probably run, but I already knew it was too late for me.

I’d succumbed to his desires.

“I’m gonna make you mine now, darling.” My knees faltered at the pet name, and he had to support my body as the hand holding the knife traveled downward until it reached my jeans. He made quick work of it too. I heard the knife drop to the floor before his fingers were opening me up, getting me ready for the monster of a cock I could feel straining against its confines as he rutted against me.

“I need you to cum for me quick,” he ordered, provoking a whimper as I grew weaker and weaker for the man who now took me for himself. “Can’t hold back from you anymore, doll. Kept trying to admire from a distance, but seeing you tonight in another man’s clothes… made me realize I could never live with myself if I didn’t make sure you’d never belong to another man, ever again.” 

I didn’t want anyone else, just him. And I made sure to let him know, “I only want you, August.” The pointy edge of the knife suddenly pressing against my hip, I gasped, my arms wrapped around the back of his neck.

“Daddy,” he corrected, making me even wetter for him, the sounds of my juices as he finger fucked me making my head swirl. This was my place of work, and here I was, being violated in it in the best of ways.

“Daddy”, I repeated, moaning in delight at his idea of a reward, when he dropped the knife on the floor and took my breasts in his other hand, quickening the pace of his fingers inside of me as he buried his face against the crook of my neck, his mustache tickling me.

“Cum, now.” It was an order, and I would be crazy not to follow it, especially with how hard he was making it for me not to do exactly as he said. My legs faltered underneath me, but he didn’t let me fall, holding me to his strong body until he could drop me over the bar, keeping my legs dangling in front of him.

“Good girl…” The compliment paired with the sounds of his belt unbuckling hard me trembling in anticipation. The feeling of August’s cock spearing me open was enough to have me believing I’d cum yet again, this time practically untouched.

That was, until his hand settled over my ass, spanking me loudly as the other pulled on my hair, making sure he got my attention. “Don’t… fucking… cum.”

Every word was punctuated by a harsh thrust, right against my sweet spot. He didn’t give me any time to get used to his considerable size, made even more considerable by the gentle pressure of the wood against my stomach, making me feel each drag of his cock against my inner walls.

“You will wait for me, kitten. I’ve already let you cum once, so I could fit my cock in this tight wet hole, but now, you must ask me for permission if you want to cum.” August panted over me, his pace never faltering as I heard him climb that mountain of desire, eager to meet me at the top. “I control your pleasure now. Got it?”

My response was a screeched “Yes, daddy!” followed by a succession of “Please, let me cum! Please, please, let me cum.” August grunted a few more times, his cock fucking me in a brutal pace, before he finally allowed me to cum.

“Alright, doll. Cum with me, cum with me, c’mon.” The feeling of his warm spurts of cum filling me up brought me to my own release. Much to my surprise, August didn’t stay inside of me for long, opting to pull out and watch the mess of us both run down between my thighs, the look in his eyes making it seem like he thought it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“Looking like a perfect mess, kitten,” he commented, smirking because he was the cause of it. “Let me get you home and clean you up. And then mess you all up again.”

Gathering me in his hands, he cradled my face between his palms so he could whisper, “I’m gonna make you so happy.” And I didn’t doubt that for a second.

[buckyownsmylife]

Crash & Burn - Chapter 4

The one where Bucky is your father best friend, and the man you want to take your virginity.

Bucky is losing everything: his wife, his business, his house. And when his best friend is too busy to offer him the support he needs, you offer him your ear and shoulder. He wouldn't find it too bad that getting closer to you made him see you with new eyes, if it wasn't for the one thing you asked in return: you want him to be the first man to ever fuck you.

For general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“How are you feeling?” The first thing I noticed when I woke up wasn’t the throbbing in my head or how bright the light was despite the curtains blocking most of it from pouring in from my bedroom’s window. It was the way fingers softly rubbed my scalp, trying to stir me awake as gently as possible.

Sighing, I rolled to the side, not realizing that the gentle caress would disappear. Its absence was so deeply felt by my still sleeping body, it prompted me to roll back and hit something hard and soft at the same time.

And that’s when I woke up.

What. the fuck?

“Are you awake, sweetheart?” The something hard-and-soft questioned, and all I could think to say were two simple words:

Fuck, no.

“Go away.” I wasn’t too sure he understood my words, as they were muttered against my pillow as I pressed my face against it, hoping to block out the entire world at least until the sun decided to hide.

It was too bright, anyway.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” His chuckle was literally the only sound my ears could bear at that time. It’s what I used to anchor me back to reality when he pried the pillow away from me, forcing me to deal with the light in the room as he got up to open the windows without any care for the probability of me turning blind at the sight.

“Listen,” I tried to reason with his madness, “I know I fucked up. Believe me, I do. But aren’t I a little too old for punishment? And isn’t torture a bit… extreme?” Apparently, hungover-me was the dramatic type. I’d be more willing to feel embarrassed about the tantrum I was throwing on Bucky if it weren’t for the damn pounding on my head, but another chuckle from him just led me to relax my muscles against the warm bed and finally open my eyes fully to see him.

Damn.

He was wearing a simple white shirt, but it looked so delicious on his body. I wasn’t too sure where this desire had come from - I’d always felt some sort of crush or attraction to the man, he was undeniably hot - but considering how we met, I’d never allowed it to develop past an almost childlike curiosity.

Until we started living together.

James had been in and out of our house for most of his friendship with my father. “Sleepovers” (if one could even use that word for people over thirty) were more than common especially after game nights, when everyone would come over and James would be the last one to leave, opting to crash in our guest bedroom instead of calling an uber only to be back the next morning to get his car.

Why did it all feel so different now? Was it just the absence of the ring on his finger that had my blood running so hot for him, all of a sudden?

I’d thought it was “a dry spell”. Being a virgin in grad school isn’t much fun, and so that was my reasoning to accept that party invitation, and the many beers I’d been offered from the second I walked through the door.

I needed something to calm my nerves down. So I accepted the alcohol, even though I knew it wasn’t a good idea. Bottle after bottle, I used the “social lubricant” in an effort to become more social, but… was it really any surprise that it didn’t have the desired effect?

I found myself feeling skittish. Scared. Every sound seemed louder, and soon enough I was looking for corners to hide and when that didn’t work, I ducked into the first unlocked room I found.

Too bad it wasn't empty.

“This isn’t torture or punishment,” James brought me back to the present by adding his weight onto my bed again, sitting up against the headboard as he watched over my still unresponsive body. “It’s simply me, expressing concern over the fact it’s past twelve and you’re still in bed.”

Shit, was it that late already?

Reaching for my phone, I found out it was: 12:43 PM, to be more precise. He was right to be concerned. I never slept past 9 AM, not even on weekends.

“Alright,” I conceded, sitting up on my bed and noticing for the first time my attire. It was a loose shirt, not one I recognized, but it was comfortable and it smelled nice. Familiar. It smelled like…

“I had to put you in something else.” My head snapped up to meet his gaze, but he was avoiding my eyes. Scratching the back of his neck, he rushed to get the rest of the explanation out. “I don’t know how much of it you remember, but…”

“Oh my God, I puked all over you, didn’t I?” Mortification wasn’t the right word for what I was feeling. It went beyond that, it was embarrassment to a point I didn’t believe existed if I hadn’t been feeling it at that moment.

“Most of it was over yourself, sweetheart.” His chuckle did little to lessen my humiliation, but before I could figure out a way to escape this torment, his fingers curled over my wrist, tugging my arms down so I wouldn’t hide my face from him anymore.

“I had to give you a shower.” My breath hitched. The idea of him seeing me naked was just… so foreign, so forbidden…

It elicited images that I’d never configured before. And with the confusion and perhaps even the alcohol still in my veins, it didn’t take long for those images to become something else entirely…

Fantasies…

“Let’s get you off of these clothes, hm?” His hands would be anything but gentle as they undressed my tired body. I imagined them running all over my skin, taking notice of how warm I felt, but never stopping in one place for too long.

He wasn’t supposed to be doing this, after all.

“But you like it, don’t you?”

“Honey?” His voice snapped me back to reality yet again, and I had no way to hide it anymore. At least, not from myself.

I wanted James Barnes in a way no one should ever desire their father’s best friend.

“I’m such an idiot…” I opted to say instead of immediately revealing the thoughts running through my head, although they never went too far. He was still too close - in my house, in my room, and I was wearing his clothes.

“Because you puked?” He countered, probably trying to make me feel better, but only succeeding in making me more embarrassed, instead.

“No.” Throwing the covers away from me, I pushed myself out of bed, not wanting to be sitting by his side when I admitted this - and not even sure what I wanted to admit, anyway. I’d done a lot of stuff I wasn’t proud of in the last week, therefore I knew I had a thousand different things to confess before I’d need to jump onto the most obvious one.

“I don’t usually drink…” I started, and when he immediately nodded as if he knew exactly what I was talking about, I shook my head to force him to really listen. “No, seriously - It’s not that I haven’t had a few beers before. I’ve gotten drunk, I’ve thrown up…”

“Just not in front of your father.”

“Well, that goes without saying.” This time, I was awake enough to appreciate his little chuckle. It made me feel warm inside, how despite being at a 30% of my mental capacity, I was still able to amuse him. “No, I just… I don’t usually drink when I’m with people I don’t trust. It was a stupid mistake. It’s not going to happen again, I promise.”

I thought my little speech would stop whatever lesson he intended to teach me. I’d been through enough, considering everything that happened between us since the night before - but apparently, we weren’t on the same page.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

“No, it was a mistake. The only stupid thing back there was that idiot. Don’t make it easier on him, he doesn’t deserve it, goggles.” The furrow of her eyebrows only made her look cuter.

It really wasn’t fair.

“Goggles?”

“Yeah,” I sheepishly admitted, scratching the back of my neck. “‘Cause your beer goggles are seriously leaving your vision skewed.” The snort that preceded her fit of giggles had my stomach dropping in the same way a rollercoaster used to make me feel.

This felt dangerous - like I was treading uncharted waters, uncovering a completely new territory. But was there anything wrong in becoming best friends with your best friend’s daughter?

Nevermind the fact that my overprotectiveness over her felt anything but innocent. I’d never behaved the way I did last night - not even with my soon-to-be ex. But I kept insisting to myself that it was okay - Natasha had never behaved in such a way as to make me feel as if she needed me.

Perhaps that was our problem all along. Why be married if you’re better off alone?

“Listen to me.” I got out of her bed - trying to ignore how warm it felt. I almost wanted to lie down and take a nap, take advantage of her sweet perfume that seemed to cling onto her sheers. “Nothing that happened last night was your fault. You’re entitled to go to a party, drink some and get back home without fearing for your safety.”

All I got in response was silence. It made me sweat.

I wish I could know what she was thinking.

“Why did you, then?” The question fell from my lips before I could even realize what I was saying. It felt so out of place, she even had to question, “What?”

Taking a step away from her, I looked out of the window as I elaborated, “Why did you drink? Last night?” She didn’t seem to follow my train of thought, so I pressed, “If you don’t usually do this, what made yesterday so different?”

Of course, I knew it by now. But if she didn’t seem to remember, there was no point in pressuring her to admit it. It might as well have been my imagination… She would have never done that with a sober mind, so why take it into consideration?

“I don’t know,” came her answer, honest and clear. “Everyone was drinking. You know my dad is always on my back about not being a part of things and then you said the same the other day and it made me feel… Like I had to try harder.”

The air left my lungs at her confession, and the guilt had my heart pumping regret along my veins. It’s incredible how a simple comment can lead to irreconcilable decisions in the long run…

But I wasn’t about to let it all go to waste over nothing. “I never liked parties either,” I offered, looking down on my hands so it wouldn’t feel as personal as this confession also was, to me. “The alcohol always makes them seem more interesting than what they truly are.”

I saw her tilt her head in that cute manner of hers from the corner of my eyes, still not brave enough to raise my gaze to meet hers. “But you like to drink,” she pressed, slowly moving closer to where I was, by the window overlooking her backyard.

“Yes, at bars. Or with friends, in places where I feel comfortable. Why do you think your dad decorated the guest room?” She didn’t seem to know the answer, so I laughed. “For someone as smart as you, you sure don’t pay enough attention to what’s going on around you, huh?”

“Come on, let’s go.” She took my hand without hesitation, but still asked, “Where?”

I just shrugged, squeezing her fingers while I nodded towards her closet. “You’ll see.”

[buckyownsmylife]

let him know - sam wilson smut

The one where you don't care if people tell Samuel what you've been up to.

Warnings: smut, mob boss au, exhibitionism, public sex, angsty open ending.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Please, sweetheart.” Refraining from rolling my eyes, I decided to give Steve a little bit of acknowledgment by throwing him a look over my shoulder. The club was so packed, he had to stay close to make sure no harm would come my way - but not as close as I’d like him to be. “We can come back here another day. I’m sure Sam would even enjoy bringing you here, himself.”

Oh, yes. I was sure he would.

“Well, go on then,” I nodded and then turned my back to him again, focusing all of my attention on the bartender. “Call him up, let him know we’re here. I only plan on leaving the dancefloor tomorrow, anyway.”

I almost laughed at the pained groan my bodyguard released. I knew I was being difficult. I was also aware that he wasn’t the one who deserved my attitude, but as he was the one acting on my “boyfriend’s” orders, he’d have to suffer.

Just like I was suffering.

“A bottle of champagne, please.” The man behind the bar didn’t even ask for any of my information - a single glance at the blond towering behind me was enough. I was the owner’s property, after all. The very least they could give me was everything that I ordered, and that, they did.

With a complimentary caviar platter, apparently. Whatever.

Picking up my stuff, Steve was forced to give me some space so I could move from the crowded bar towards the VIP area, but I didn’t plan to stay long there. Scanning the room, I locked eyes with one of those trust fund playboys, and then it was just a matter of smirking and winking.

Hook, line and sinker. What a loser. But he’d do it for what I had in mind, even if it wasn’t the same sort of activities he might be hoping he could score later in the evening.

Unfortunately for me, Steve knew exactly what it was that I intended to do.

“Don’t,” he tried to warn me, pulling me by the elbow right when pretty eyes seemed to find the courage to come talk to me. One look at the giant hovering over me and that courage all but disappeared - he still sent me a sweet smile, one that said he’d try his luck if I was able to make my bodyguard for the evening go away.

“Why are you like this?” I sighed, turning away from the bar and moving towards the dancefloor, not needing to look over my shoulder to know Steve was following me closely behind. The way people parted as we walked through the crowd was indication enough, and I would have thought it was pretty cool if I wasn’t so damn pissed.

“What do you mean? Good at my job?” He looked satisfied with himself, having thought of a comeback, but all he got from me was a roll of my eyes.

“A pain in my ass.” I didn’t need to hear his laugh to know that was his reaction. Ever since Samuel Wilson had come into my life, I’d been making his men laugh and cackle at my antics, but it didn’t faze me.

“I’m gonna find a way to dance with someone tonight, Rogers. Or I will have to change my last name.” The man behind me shrugged.

“The boss has been trying to get you to marry him for ages.” I shivered, not wanting to be reminded of that. What Samuel Wilson wanted, he usually got, and for the last few months all he seemed to want was related to me, somehow.

“Hey, Rogers!” Someone called from a distance and both Steve and I turned to look, recognizing another of Sam’s men from a distance. “Need a little help here.”

Steve grimaced, already knowing what was going to happen. “Seems like I’ll get my dance, after all.”

“Is there anything I can do to get you not to do that?” He asked, much to my amusement.

“You could dance with me yourself,” I offered, only to receive another grimace in response.

“Hard pass. I like being alive and all.” It was the last thing he said before he left me, and not even five minutes later, the boy from before was back, asking me to dance with him.

“Told you I’d get what I wanted,” I whispered underneath my breath so the guy wouldn’t hear me, and followed him to the dancefloor, where people were busy grinding and moving all around us.

I started to follow their motions, turning around so that my back was to the stranger, and grinded against his boner for a little while until a much too familiar voice interrupted my plans for the evening.

“Step away from the lady.” I froze, not having expected him here so soon. Turning around, I found Sam looking down at the guy with death in his eyes, but the man didn’t seem to be all that brilliant, because he tried to make a move at Sam.

“Let me rephrase it.” Sam warned, having easily intercepted the punch the guy tried sending his way. “Step away from the lady and I’ll let you get out of this bar alive.”

That was enough to send the guy running, and really, who could blame him? That was much more trouble than a dance was supposed to bring him, and I was aware of that as I stepped into Sam’s embrace.

“I thought you were too busy trying to stop the police from figuring out your deal. Didn’t think you’d find the time in your busy schedule to be jealous about your favorite toy’s dance partners.”

Sam smiled that dangerous smile of his. “I’m not jealous, honey… For me to be jealous, I’d have to be scared to lose you. But I’m not.”

And just like that, two fingers penetrated me, right there in the middle of the dancefloor, with people still surrounding us despite the scene that had taken place only seconds before.

“You said it yourself…” He whispered in my ear, eliciting goosebumps up my neck. “You’re my favorite toy.”

And there it was - the simmering on the bottom of my stomach, that didn’t tell me if it was fear or arousal that was sparking up my adrenaline, raising goosebumps up my arms.

“Why don’t you ever kiss me?” The question escaped my lips right as my pussy contracted around his fingers, a sigh leaving me afterwards as he pulled the digits from me and wrapped his own lips around them.

The smile he sent me was dangerous, and I felt my stomach plummeting at the prospect of his answer. “Because you are still a toy.”

And wasn’t it sad, that after everything, the second he turned around to leave me there on the dancefloor, all I wanted was to beg him not to go?

[buckyownsmylife]

let the games begin - sebastian stan smut

The one where you ask him to explain the pepsi cup scene to you

Warnings: best friends to lovers, best friend!reader, hopelessly in love!Seb, reader has hair long enough for Seb to “play with” but do with that as you wish, innocent!reader, smut.

WC: 1.8k

A/N: this is just a sweet little smutty one-shot of best friend!Seb realizing you feel the same for him. I didn't delve deep into the smut because to be honest, this has been in my WIP list since the movie came out and I just couldn't be bothered to write more than what's here, yet I hope you'll enjoy it anyway!

Seb’s P.O.V.

“You ready for this? You know we don’t have to watch it, right?” I tried to convince her one more time, and still, she just rolled her eyes and pulled me to the sofa next to her. Oh, how I loved to feel her smaller frame tightly pressed against mine.

“Don’t be silly, of course I want to watch it. I’ve seen everything you’ve ever done, I can’t let one slightly scarring movie keep me away from this long standing tradition.” It warmed my heart to think that she’d been doing this way before we even met.

I kissed her temple before adjusting so her body would rest against my chest, and settled in for the film. I knew it would be an experience, to say the least, watching this with her, so I tried to prepare myself for anything that could happen.

She could end up traumatized and unable to look me in the eye. At the very least, it would certainly serve as ammunition for her to tease me for years to come, and that was one turn of events I could deal with. The first one was my real concern.

So I settled in to watch the movie, because I figured it would be best to be around than to wait for her reactions afterwards. What if she never wanted to see me again? I knew it was just my anxiety coming up with the worst possibilities, but it still scared the crap out of me.

I couldn’t imagine my life without her anymore. And maybe one day I’d grow the courage to tell her about it, but for now, I was perfectly happy just sitting here with her and offering some support when my character started to freak her out.

“Hey, there you are!” She giggled in excitement, pointing at the TV like I wasn’t watching it with her. It made me chuckle, seeing her act like a little kid when it came to me doing my job. God, she was precious.

“Yeah, there I am,” I agreed, leaning over her to deposit a quick kiss against her temple, but much to my surprise all I got was a nudge and a hush. “Are you shushing me?” She finally unglued her eyes from the television to look at me with disappointment all over her features.

“Seb, I love you, but if you keep interrupting the movie, I’m gonna kick you out and there’s nothing you can do about that.” I wanted to point out that if she did, she’d have to watch it by herself and there was no way she’d be able to sleep, but I didn’t want to risk her fury. So I just sat back and pulled her with me, playing with her hair as I watched the story unfold before my eyes.

For whatever reason, I seemed to forget that I looked a bit… different in my role at some point, and as I gained weight before our eyes, she turned around to look at me with a look I couldn’t figure out. It made me nervous.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I had to ask, but she didn’t immediately answer me. I felt embarrassed, it was almost like she was comparing me to the man on the screen, and I didn’t know which one she preferred. 

Could it be that now that she’d seen me like that, she couldn’t unsee it?

“I’ve always thought you looked better when Don wasn’t trying to make you look like some sort of bodybuilder, but this role just confirmed it to me. You’re even sexier with some weight on your body.” 

My cheeks burned, and I didn’t know what to say. So I just cuddled her to me once more, focusing on the screen as I tried to work through my emotions - and there were many. Desire, barely concealed lust, something the hardening member inside my jeans wouldn’t let me forget - but also something warm and comfortable, settling deep inside my chest.

I didn’t want to give it a name. So I just pulled her to me yet again, kissed her temple and pretended to go back to watching the movie, while I waited for her attention to be redirected to it once more. When I was sure she wasn’t noticing me anymore, I got back to analyzing her reactions, chuckling under my breath at the way hers hitched at every little thing, and how she squeezed my thigh when she thought something scary would happen.

And then the car scene started. My muscles immediately froze underneath her, having completely forgotten about this particular part of the movie.

“What’s going on?” She asked, first surprised and then confused. “Is everything okay?” I couldn’t answer her. I couldn’t even look away from the screen, flinching as it developed right before my eyes. It was like my own self-made train wreck: unavoidable and paralyzing.

“Seb…” She reached out for my hand, asking for my attention, and I licked my lips and took a deep breath before turning to give it to her.

“I don’t get it, what’s going on?” I was about to tell her that I was just embarrassed, but the confusion in her eyes as they darted from the TV to my embarrassed self suddenly made sense to me.

“Wait,” I started, holding her jaw so she’d fix her eyes on mine and forget about the movie for a second. “You don’t understand the scene?” She hesitated for a second before nodding, biting her lower lip in that way she did when she was nervous.

It made the warmth inside my chest expand and take over my entire body, shooting straight to my lower belly, where it began to burn. 

Fuck. Who would have thought that she was so innocent?

“Do you want me to tell you?” The question left my lips before I could ponder if my concern came from a valid place - my desire to help her, always. 

But maybe things happened for a reason - maybe it was some sort of ungodly gift the idea of watching this movie together, because as I watched her glance over at the screen again and then lay her eyes on me, I saw it with perfect clarity:

She was aroused by it.

“Or would you like me to show you?” Another question that slipped from my lips unintentionally, another sentence I didn’t regret speaking. This… tension, it had always been here, between the both of us. I’d been too much of a coward to act on it before so if the ball was on my court now, it was time to let it roll.

“’Cause I’d be more than happy to.” With my last reassurance, the thread between us broke, and in a second, we were kissing. Who made the first move, I’d never know. All I cared about was her taste, how sweet she was, and the tiny little whimpers I could hear escaping her when I had to pull back to take a breath.

My body still acting of its own accord, I got up from the couch to take my pants off, hand immediately going to my hardness to release some of the frustration she was causing me. Thankfully, she didn’t seem scared - just hungry, looking at me with doe eyes and biting down on her lower lip before I pulled her closer so that her hand rested over mine.

“Fuck…” I whispered against her neck at the first contact of her hand on my naked dick, but for some reason that was all it took for the spell to break.

“Seb, I can’t…” She pulled away from me, chest still heaving from desire, but I felt so damn guilty I couldn’t even feel good about it. “I can’t do this and then pretend that it didn’t happen.”

Y/N’s P.O.V.

His face softened up instead of becoming angry, like I expected it would. “Come.” He got up from the couch, offering me his hand, which I took without second-guessing myself.

His eyes told me everything I needed to know.

He took me to his bed, where he kissed me deeply once again. “Don’t worry, I’ll be patient.” How could I say that I’d let him do anything to me?

Within seconds, I was naked. It was unlike any other similar experience I’d ever lived, and the way he stared at me only had me falling deeper into the cloud of comfort that only Seb could provide me.

“Spread your legs for me, honey.” I did so instinctively, also closing my eyes in nervousness at what was happening.

“Keep looking at me,” he asked, and so I reopened my eyes, finding him staring at my most private spot with hunger in his. “Fuck, you’re soaked.”

Before I could comprehend what was happening, he’d yanked me to the edge of the bed and proceeded to kneel down before me, lips kissing my inner thighs and navel while I panted softly.

“Fuck, I can’t believe that I get to taste you,” he uttered before his tongue stuck out and he did just that… He tasted me, and nothing had ever felt quite as great as that simple gesture.

“How does it feel, sweetheart?” He asked in the midst of attacking my clit with his tongue and lips, the hot muscle swirling over it and making my head spin. “Do you like this?”

“Yes, yes!” I nodded, hand flying down to hold him by the hair and keep him attached to me. “More, I want more.”

“What?” He teased me, the devious thing. “You want what?”

“More,” I insisted, pushing him down so his face would connect with my pussy once more. He didn’t keep up with his pretense and kept on licking me until I saw stars behind my closed eyelids, screaming his name for dear life.

“Kiss me,” I begged breathlessly once I was able to speak again, and he leaned over me to grant me my wish, allowing me to taste myself for the first time in my life.

“You know…” I struggled to find the courage to say what I wanted, but I knew I could trust Sebastian. “When we actually do it, you don’t need to be so gentle…”

He bit my shoulder in response, shaking his head at my antics. I thought I was dreaming, being naked in his bed, having just had the best orgasm of my life.

I wanted to do this for the rest of my life.

“I don’t want to go to sleep tonight,” I confessed, watching as the most beautiful smile opened up in my best friend’s face.

“Lucky for you, there are a ton of things we can do to pass the time.”

[buckyownsmylife]

out of the woods (chris evans x famous!reader smut)

the one where Chris watches an interview of you on the Ellen show

Warnings: mention of small stature in comparison to Chris, smut thoughts, Ellen Degeneres trash talking/thinking, cursing, mention of prescription medicine, talk of age gap (reader is younger than Chris), jacking off, daddy kink

WC: 3k

A/N: this doesn't really have an ending, so if you all like it, I might make a series out of it - the idea is that you are also famous (for acting, singing, writing) and have been friends with Chris but there's always this underlying tension between the two of you. It goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway: no, he's not married in this story nor do I intend to feature Alba in any part of it whatsoever.

Chris’ P.O.V.

I was scrolling through Twitter when I realized some fans were tagging me in a short video of Y/N on Ellen DeGeneres’ show. I knew she had gone there by herself, mostly to promote her new album, but also to give some publicity for our movie, so I was aware that she would probably talk about me at least a bit… Curiosity got the best of me and I clicked the link to check the video for myself.

She looked gorgeous as always, her hair down in that way I loved so much and her skin seemed to be as soft as ever under the mini dress she chose to wear, her legs stretching out and making her look taller than she actually was. I chuckled, remembering just how small she looked by my side.

I remembered one time when I lifted her up, bridal style, and spun her around the pub we had close to the set, after the Patriots had won a game. Despite not understanding the game, she tagged along and celebrated every time I got excited, like the cute person that she was. I got so transfixed by her giggles back then. They were the sweetest sound and the only thing I heard, despite the fact that we were in the middle of a very loud bunch of dudes. 

I found myself imagining again, as I had then, what it would be like to have her under me, trapped by my arms in bed, or better yet, against a wall, only my thighs securing her in place while I made her moan with my touch. How would she sound? Or, better yet, how would she feel?

Christ. 

Shaking my head, I tried to gather my thoughts so as to not let them stray too far in that direction, something I didn’t have much success in doing, despite the fact that I had been practicing that simple habit every single day since I met her. But it was proving to be a nightmare. She was just far too tempting.

Shaking my head once more, I focused on the video in front of me. My heartbeat had sped up as soon as it started, but I tried to tell myself it was because I was scared for her, since I knew how Ellen could get invasive sometimes.

“So, Y/N…” She started, eyeing my co-star. “You have just finished working on a movie with someone we’re very familiar with, isn’t it?”

Y/N giggled, nodding at the blonde woman. “I suppose so. We have just finished the promotion for it, maybe you guys have already seen it?” She asked the crowd, who went nuts at her. It was sweet to see this kind of feedback, I truly believed in our movie and the fact that I got to know her was just an added bonus.

“For those of you who don’t know what we’re talking about, it’s called ‘Be Here Now’ and it’s currently in a theater near you. Y/N stars alongside Chris Evans, who we love so dearly here, and they play brother and sister as they try to reconnect after their parents' passing.”

More applause at that. I couldn’t stop myself from rolling my eyes at her idea of love. Last time I was there, she made me pretty uncomfortable, and I knew I wasn’t the only one who felt that way.

“So, how was the process for you? We know you’re familiar with the filming process, since you star in your own series ‘Evermore’, that sent you to stardom, along with your songs, but you had said before you’d never act outside of it, since your true passion relies on music. What changed your mind?” Ellen sat back as she said that, already comfortable with the fact that something good would come out of this interview, since Y/N had been pretty vocal about what made her decide to do the movie, even with me.

“Chris did, actually. Or, in fact, the fact that he was cast in it.” A chorus of “aws” echoed around the room and there was no way to know if they were real or prompted, but they were quickly interrupted by the host.

“So, you were a fan?” She instigated, as to what Y/N nodded again.

“Of course. Well, my mom more than me, but I was the one who introduced his work to her, so…” She poked her tongue out at the camera, to which my heart (and my cock) jumped in response. “Ever since I got into this, when I first had the idea for Evermore with James, I told him time and time again I would never act outside of this, because I had no intention whatsoever on becoming an actress. I have always been in this for the music. Well, the writing. I’m a writer, I like writing scripts and songs, I’ve fallen into this performer thing by accident. But I’ve always been adamant about the fact that if I ever had the opportunity to act alongside Chris, I’d take it. It doesn’t matter that I don’t think I’m good enough. It didn’t even matter if the script was terrible, which thankfully wasn’t the case, I just really admire him and his work and I would never live with myself if I turned this opportunity down.”

Even though I knew most of this, I couldn’t help but to gloat at the fact that this incredible woman actually admired me. She was so much better than me in so many things, even acting, and she still thought I was great enough to get her to participate in a movie. 

“So, what I’m hearing is, you have a little crush, that’s right?” And there it was. The coup. Of course. That evil wench…

“That’s what you took out of everything I said? Jesus, Ellen, has anyone ever told you that you listen like a man?” Ouch. That one was perfect. Being the ambassador for females and lesbians everywhere, it couldn’t not hurt her, especially coming from someone as angelical, sweet and universally-loved as Y/N. I appreciated the quick second her smile faltered before it became plastered on her again.

“No, I haven’t heard that before… But tell me, have you met any of the other Marvel actors? I mean, granted, there are a lot of them now, but especially those who have worked closely with Chris?” Y/N shrugged at that.

“I have been friends with Elizabeth Olsen for a very long time, we’re very close, but other than that, no. I haven’t had the chance to properly meet, or rather, hang out with any of them.”

“Who’s first on your list?”

“Anthony Mackie,” Y/N promptly responded, getting a few laughs and claps from the audience.

“My, you had that answer ready” Ellen teased, to which Y/N simply shrugged again. 

“We talk through social media sometimes and I know for a fact he’s hilarious. I hope we get to meet sometime. I might just have to bug Chris about it.” She had already, in fact. I couldn’t wait to introduce them to each other and I was already planning my next party just to be able to make that happen.

“What about Sebastian?” Ellen asked, a glinter of something extremely suspicious in her eyes.

“Sebastian Stan? No, we haven’t met, but I’d love to get the chance to someday. He seems extremely sweet and I know he’s very talented and Chris loves him, so I think it’s a matter of time until it happens.”

“I heard somewhere you had a bit of a crush on him, right? Even if you don’t admit that you have one on Chris?” This fucking woman. I could fucking kill her right now. But, to my surprise, Y/N simply laughed.

“Truly, you have got to check your hearing sometime soon, because that is absolutely false.” 

“Really?” Ellen pushed, to which Y/N beamed even brighter at her.

“Positive.” A beat as the two women stared at each other down. “I think what you meant is that I have had a huge crush on his character, Bucky Barnes.” Y/N explained, laughing at the host. “I admit that only happened after I saw Sebastian’s portrayal of him, but my attraction to a fictional character can’t be really connected to him.”

Ellen nodded, obviously not paying attention to anything she was just saying. “Well, let’s figure out who do you actually feel attracted to, shall we? Let’s play fuck, marry or kill!”

The audience screamed and, to my surprise, Y/N didn’t even blink, a patient smile painting her lips as she calmly watched the interviewer. “So, Y/N, between Anthony, Sebastian and Chris, who would you rather fuck, marry or kill?”

Y/N shook her head, still smiling at the older woman. “I couldn’t possibly answer truthfully to this question, Ellen, mostly because I am not capable of feeling carnal attraction to people I have never met, but I can 100% assure you that I would marry Chris without blinking twice if there was a choice.” 

My heart skipped a beat at her words. The crowd went crazy, obviously satisfied with the answer.

“And you’re sure you don’t have a crush on him?” Ellen’s eyes glistened with mischief, as she stared at the younger woman.

“Ellen, I think the question here is… Are you sure *you don’t have a crush on him?” The laughs from the audience was the last thing to come from the video before it stopped, and I found myself echoing them in the silent living room. Oh my, how I missed this girl.

I tapped my fingers nervously on my jean-clad thigh, looking around the room. I had been staying in Boston with my family for the last few weeks, since the movie premiered and we had finished promotion, and I had found myself constantly calling her to share funny stories from my nephews or to hear about her day. I knew she wanted to meet my family, she had always said she admired the fact that we were so close, despite there being so many of us.

My mom obviously loved her, having been a fan of hers long before I even heard about her existence. So what if…? 

Before I could second-guess myself, I pressed call in the name of the woman I had been thinking about. The phone rang three times before she picked up, stopping me from giving up on this crazy idea.

“Hey, Chris! How are you? I missed talking to you, it’s so weird seeing you everyday for four months and then suddenly not at all anymore.” I know I was literally forty, but I literally melted at this girl’s words.

“Did you now? Is that because you wish we were married, so we could see each other everyday?” Her breath hitched as she realized I had seen the video and I could just imagine the cute little embarrassed expression she was probably sporting right now. I tried to ignore the fact that my words and tone of speaking had suddenly become way too similar to when I was flirting with a girl.

“Fuck, you saw the interview.” I had never heard Y/N curse before, so the fact that I suddenly had no control over my mouth could be explained by the unavailability of blood in my head, since it had all gone south.

“Come stay with me for a while,” I spilled suddenly. Silence was the only answer I got from the other side of the call and my heart sped up in a way that only happened when I was truly anxious. I was already cursing myself out for scaring the poor girl when she finally answered.

“Are you serious?” She asked, her voice barely over a whisper. It was obvious how vulnerable she was feeling, and a sense of overprotectiveness overcame me. “Please don’t joke about this, Evans. This better not be a prank. ‘Cause I really do miss you a lot.”

Fuck indeed. There was no way something good would come out of this idea, but there was no way I would go back either.

“Of course I’m being serious. Come to Boston. You can stay with me, but I think my mom is going to steal you before you even settle in.” A large breath came from the other side.

“Okay. Okay! I’m going to pack my bags. Yay! I’m so excited!” She was clearly jumping up and down with the perspective of what was to come, and I couldn’t help the smile that painted my lips not only at her cuteness, but also due to my own excitement at her arrival. 

“Great! I’ll be waiting.” My heartbeat still hadn’t gotten back to a normal speed. “Text me the details of your arrival, I’ll pick you up at the airport.”

“Chris, I don’t think that’s such a good idea…” I knew what she meant. If someone caught sight of us together at the airport, or even the fact that she was here in Boston, all hell would break loose in the press.

“Shhh, don’t worry about it, baby girl. I’ll take care of it.” I froze, only then realizing what I had just called her. A few seconds ticked by while I silently freaked out, wondering how I could brush this over, when she intervened.

“Thanks, Chris. That was pretty much the best thing I’ve ever heard. I just might forgo my prescription medicine while I’m over there, because you’ve been able to completely relax me with just two sentences.” She giggled and if I was at first leaning towards thinking she was sarcastically teasing me, just by the nature of her words, the tone of her voice made it clear that she actually meant what she had just said.

Once again, I was at a loss for words, especially because I couldn’t help but to allow myself to imagine that this was her, flirting with me a little bit. The blood I so desperately needed in my brain had once again left to pump another organ full of life. I was saved from having to answer, though, as Y/N quickly wrapped up the conversation.

“I’ll text you the details of my flight in a little bit. See you soon, angel.” She hung up before I could process the nickname she had given me. 

“Fucking hell,” I whispered, finally relenting and getting up from the couch to take a shower to rub one off.

I had found myself in this situation more times than usual after meeting Y/N. Normally, I’d only do it out of boredom, preferring to fuck someone whenever I’d get sexually frustrated. But the last few times I had taken girls from parties into my bedroom, I could only see her. Y/N. And I hated how disgusting I felt after it was done, the fact that I didn’t care about the girl I just fucked and the fact that I imagined my younger friend.

So now I resorted to this kind of activity. As the warm water started to hit my body, I allowed my right hand to travel the extent of my body until I found my hardened member. “Fuck,” I found myself whispering into the bathroom as I tugged on my cock. Images that I had spent a lot of time concocting in my head flashed in front of me, all of them starred by Y/N. 

I imagined her nude body here with me, under the falling water. How her breasts would heave with every breath she took. Would she be as filled with desire for me as I was for her? I imagined the path the warm droplets of water would run across her skin and how I wished I could lick its remnants. 

Maybe she’d fall to her knees before me, looking up from under her eyelashes with that coy expression that drove me crazy. Her lips would softly kiss the tip of my cock and she’d still be watching me, analyzing my reactions. I would do my best to restrain myself, allowing her to get accustomed to my member, but my hands would eventually find their way to her wet strands, creating a makeshift ponytail that would facilitate my vision of her work while I still managed to control myself and not use it to guide her.

She’d kiss the skin all around my cock, quick little kisses just to tease me before going further down to suck on my balls. I’d throw my head back, begging her to do what I needed, and she’d finally succumb, wrapping her lips around my tip before slowly sucking further down my dick. She’d be relentless, eventually being able to swallow my whole member down her throat, and I would look down again to see her looking up at me with a proud gaze in her eyes.

“Such a good girl,” I would whisper, just before I finally snapped, using my grip on her hair to pull her from my cock until just the tip remained tightly squeezed by her lips, until I pushed her all the way against me again. “Take this fucking cock like the little perfect girl you are for daddy.”

And she’d take it like a pro, a satisfied smile on her lips as I fucked her mouth, eventually breaching into her throat, making her gasp for air, tears in her eyes as her hands flew to my hips in an attempt to slow me down. But she wouldn’t really, opting for simply carving her nails on my flesh as she took every single rope of cum I’d deposit between her eager lips.

Fuck. I let the water wash away the sin I had just committed while sending up a prayer for better control when Y/N arrived. The last thing I needed was to be stuck in the bathroom, touching myself while she was at my house.

[buckyownsmylife]

I would: a Tony Stark x Reader x Sam Wilson smut/angst one-shot

The one where Tony knows that you’re Sam’s girl, but that doesn’t stop him from listening in on locker room talk

WC: 1.1K

Warnings: Sam sharing private things about your relationship with his friends and basically disclosing your sexual relationship. You can read it as if you're into it or not, your choice.

A/N: thank you very much to @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog for giving this a read for me 💕 your comments give me life!

Tony’s P.O.V.

I huffed when I walked into the living room to find him already there, surrounded by the supersoldiers. There really was no escaping Samuel Wilson when I was desperately trying to avoid him, apparently.

“Hey, Tony!” He greeted me with a smile, and so I struggled to grind my teeth and swallow down the anger inside of me, forcing myself to go on with my original intention of spreading my body over one of the very comfortable sofas in the room instead of turning around and returning to my lab.

I could do this. I just had to ignore him.

“I feel like I haven’t had the chance to talk to you in so long!” I cringed, feeling the bitter taste of guilt on my mouth. It was true, my anger was one-sided and solitary. Worse: it was unknown. Wilson had no idea I was irritated every time he was around, and so, he couldn’t really be blamed by his perfectly normal behavior towards a teammate who had always been nothing short of cordial towards him.

“Yeah, you know…” I tried my best to keep my tone neutral, although I avoided his eyes as I took a seat in one of the many couches around us. “Always working on a new gadget.” Wilson and Rogers chuckled and nodded, recognizing the truth in my statement, as it wasn’t new that I’d always spent most of my time down at the lab. But they didn’t seem eager to bring me into their conversation, as immediately after I made myself comfortable, they turned back to what they had been talking when I arrived.

“So” -this was said by Barnes, who was seating on the other side of the new Captain- “you were telling us about last night.” That got my curiosity - I hated not being in the know of something - and my frown most definitely showed it even before I asked, “What happened last night?”

“Sam took his girl on a special date.” Stopping myself from groaning, I simply nodded, for the first time in my life actually praying in the hopes that they’d somehow change subject, although it was obvious I wouldn’t have such luck.

“Hell yes!” Barnes celebrated. “And she found a very special way to thank him…” That was said while his focus remained on the star of the conversation, a clear nudge towards returning  to what was previously being discussed, and I already knew what was coming.

“Jesus fuck.” I couldn’t help myself. Not anymore. “Do the two of you ever stop fucking?” Somehow,  by God’s grace (ironically), the envious tone of my question wasn’t noticed by any of the other men in the room, far too focused on the perspective of hearing yet another tale of Samuel’s sexual adventures with his new girlfriend…

… and the object of my deepest desires.

When I introduced the two of them at one of the Stark enterprises gatherings, I didn’t anticipate their union would make my ordeal even worse than it already was. Sure, I knew she was hot already - that was precisely the problem.

She was way too fucking hot, and she was my assistant. I couldn’t stop thinking about her like that. It was consuming my mind.

Heart beating fast, I considered my options as Samuel prepared to resume his fantastic tales of fuckery. I really should leave. Even if I was friends with the guy, she was my employee, for God’s sake!

No good could come out of this. And still, I didn’t leave.

“She’s such a fucking tease, man!” Sam groaned, but the huge smile on his face made clear how little he was upset with it. “She wakes me up in the middle of the night, just because she wants it so bad.”

The guys groaned, but I remained silent - Sam’s words reverberating across my mind. What must it be like, to have someone desire you this badly? To have her want me so damn much she just can’t wait for me to wake up?

“I bet she feels perfect,” Barnes commented, but the eagerness in his tone was easy to capture. Sam chuckled as he nodded, not at all bothered by the soldier’s interest in his girl, and still, I made sure to keep pretending I wasn’t interested in what he was saying, avoiding his gaze so I wouldn’t be caught.

“Yeah, and she just lets me fuck her whenever,” he informed us, much to my agony. “And she’s always so fucking wet. She comes so fucking hard around my dick, sometimes I swear she’ll snap the entire thing off.”

Squirming on my seat, I briefly wondered if there was any way I could somehow watch them fuck without them knowing about it, but then I snapped myself out of it. What kind of a creep was I becoming?

“I’ve even made her squirt a few times.” Now, that was just evil. A small part of me was starting to consider Samuel did know about my interest in his girl, and he was doing this just as a way to torture me.

“See this picture that she sent me?” Suddenly, a phone was thrusted on my face, a picture of her on her hands and knees staring back at me.

I fell in love.

Hoping he wouldn’t look down and see my cock straining against my pants, I coughed to fake nonchalance, rubbing my sweaty palms against the fabric of said pants.

“Does she…” I hesitated before forcing myself to voice my question, not wanting the guys to question why I was so weirdly quiet. “Does she like it rough?”

My answer was a sound that was half wheeze, half laugh, Samuel nodding excitedly as he rubbed his hand over his chest, pride obviously pouring through every pore of his.

“But she looks so innocent…” This last thought escaped uninvited, eliciting another laugh from the man of the hour, as he shook his head in pity at me.

“I can assure you, she isn’t.” I gulped hard, not wanting to allow the thoughts in my brain to compose themselves fully, but Sam wouldn’t let me get any rest. “She doesn’t let me cum anywhere but in her pussy, says she’s hungry for it, just so you know.”

I should have left long ago. But I was stuck to the sofa now, not knowing how to escape this nightmarish conversation, just as she called him up and he put her on speaker for us all to hear.

“Fuck, daddy, I need you…” The faint sound of her vibrator couldn’t be missed, and while Steve and Bucky tried to reel in their laughter and Sam coached her through an orgasm, I couldn’t help but think that she deserved better.

Fuck, I wanted her to be mine.

[buckyownsmylifefics]

It seems that I remembered I was supposed to be a Marvel writer 💛

[buckyownsmylife]

Crash & Burn - Chapter 3

The one where Bucky is your father best friend, and the man you want to take your virginity.

Bucky is losing everything: his wife, his business, his house. And when his best friend is too busy to offer him the support he needs, you offer him your ear and shoulder. He wouldn't find it too bad that getting closer to you made him see you with new eyes, if it wasn't for the one thing you asked in return: you want him to be the first man to ever fuck you.

For general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

“Bucky? Oh, thank God?” Eyebrows furrowed, I immediately sat up straighter on the bed, instinctively reaching for my car keys once I detected the panic in her voice. “I… I hate to disturb you, I know it’s pretty late but…”

“Text me the address,” I interrupted her, scrambling off the bed and almost falling on my face in the process. I made a mental note - don’t try to put on sweatpants while on the phone with someone, but for now, this would have to do. “Do you want me to stay in line with you while I drive?”

My heart was pounding as I waited for her answer. I could hear the sounds of the party she’d gone to in the distance, but it was muffled - like she was hiding from it behind a door or something.

“I’d like that.” Silently thanking the heavens for her answer, I rushed to get to the house she was in as quickly as possible. I would have trusted her safety if she’d chosen to hang up, but that didn’t mean my mind wouldn’t race. I was used to jumping to the worst conclusions, and this particular situation didn’t exactly help me reason with my anxieties.

A loud crash came from the other line, startling me as I put on my seatbelt. “Are you okay?” It took her a little while and the most adorable giggle preceded her answer.

“Yeah… I just stumbled and fell over a plant. But she’s okay, I guess.” I could just picture her, petting the leaves of the greenery she’d accidentally disturbed. God, she was adorable.

“Are you drunk?” It suddenly occurred to me, and I was already chuckling by the time her “Please, don’t tell my dad” came. “Honey, you’re in grad school. Your dad won’t care if you had a couple of drinks on a Friday night.”

“Oh, right!” Shaking my head, I focused on the intersection I was about to cross while making a mental note to talk to her about how much she drank tomorrow. I really didn’t care about her consuming alcohol - she was a grown-up, after all - but she should never get drunk near people she didn’t trust, and it seemed like this had been precisely what had happened tonight.

“Are you close?” I considered the route the app was showing me.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there soon.” She seemed to calm down at my answer, but that was only until someone started to bang on the door I assumed behind which she was hiding.

“C’mon, baby! I know you’re in there. Come out, let’s have some fun together.” My palms were sweaty as I gripped the stirring wheel tighter, grinding my teeth at her sharp inhale of breath. I hated that she was scared because of some dumb boy and there was nothing I could do about it…

Yet.

“Hold on…” I muttered under my breath, knowing she’d never heard me over the ruckus he was causing. If only this car could move faster…

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I tried to make myself smaller, hoping the wall would somehow swallow me and hide me from the guy on the other side of the door. If I’d known this is what Peter would become with a few beers in him, I’d never have agreed to come to this party in the first place.

I could already feel a headache forming and I wasn’t looking forward to tomorrow morning. I knew I would wake up hungover and most definitely regretful of every decision that led to this moment, but for now, all I could care about was that Bucky was coming and he’d take me far, far away from this evening and everything that had happened.

“Please, be quick…” I whispered, clutching my phone against my chest as I watched Peter fumble with the knob until suddenly, he stopped.

It all stopped, actually. His yells, the sounds of the music from outside, it all came to a screeching halt and my heart sped up in anticipation as I approached the door with careful steps.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Yep, that was James. Feeling safe enough to open the door now, I unlocked it and spied the outside, finding the party had stopped to watch the much older gentleman who’d suddenly appeared give the owner of the house his ass on a silver platter. “No means fucking no, haven’t you ever learned that?”

He turned around and his eyes met mine, almost as if he’d noticed me staring. But if I was hoping for my presence to ease his anger somewhat, it seemed to have the opposite effect, completely.

“What did he do?” It took a minute for my inebriated mind to make sense of what he was asking, but once I did, I didn’t know how to answer it.

“I can’t repeat the kind of stuff he said.” I shook my head emphatically, refusing to relive the haunting things Peter had whispered in my ear once he’d cornered me into a room. I watched as he had the guts to try to defend himself, only to shut his mouth with a glance from the man in the room.

“I’m not talking to you.” It was all he said, and Peter immediately cowered. A shudder ran down my spine at the roughness in his tone of voice, but I wasn’t scared. “Was it dirty?” Again, it took me a few seconds.

“There’s dirty and then there’s just straight down nasty.” I shrugged, trying to fake nonchalance even though the mere memory of what Peter had said made me want to hide my face behind my hands. But I was an adult - Bucky had said so himself.

I shouldn’t be hiding, so I didn’t.

Bucky leaned closer to Peter, taking advantage of the grip he still had on his shirt. I hadn’t even noticed it until their noses were all but touching. “If I ever even imagine she’s had to put up with any shit from you anymore, I’ll make you wish you were never even born. Got it?”

Oh, wow. That was hot.

I didn’t even notice the giggles all around us - or the frown on Bucky’s face. All I could focus on was how warm his hand felt when it clasped around my wrist, right before he started tugging me towards the exit.

“Let’s go.”

[buckyownsmylife]

girl boss III - frustration

When Ransom Drysdale learned that his grandfather was cutting him off the will, he knew life as he knew would disappear. What he didn’t expect was that the only person that would be willing to give him a job was a woman half his age - a woman who despite her youth would come to teach him many things, especially outside the office...

Or the one where Ransom learns he’s a huge sub.

for general warnings, please go to the fic’s masterlist.

The week that followed was hell to me.

I could barely process what had happened, and so I didn’t want to believe it. I went into work Monday morning fully prepared to pretend that I didn’t desire my boss more than I’d ever desired anyone before, because there was just no way she actually wanted me, right?

Only every time I felt her eyes on me, I knew I was wrong. I could feel her desire, and I knew it was inevitable. I would give into both of our needs, regardless of what my reason wanted me to do.

But for now, I was still fighting back against my emotions, trying to make sense of the little scene we’d lived on the event, how she was able to make me feel so small and vulnerable with so little effort from her part.

I wasn’t used to it. In all of my relationships, sexual or the few times I’d tried to go the romantic route, I’d been in control of everything, from beginning to end. And it had come naturally to me: it was clear that it’s the role that was expected from someone like me, so I never questioned it.

One offer from her and it all came crumbling down.

Did I want what she was offering me? There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted *her, that much was clear for the both of us to see. The question was… did I want her so badly that I was able to do this on *her terms?

In the back of my mind, a little voice whispered, ‘but you want to explore what she’s offering’. It was the truth. I was curious, it was undeniable, but I was still too attached to that expected role I was supposed to fulfill that it was hard for me to admit it.

What if I didn’t like it?

Her words that evening left little space for hesitation: she had no doubt I would enjoy it and I had no doubt on her abilities to *make sure I would, but it only confused me further. How did she know me so well? It felt like she knew me better than I did, and I didn’t enjoy being the one in the dark, particularly when the subject was myself.

To understand it, though, I’d have to ask her. And I wasn’t sure I’d have the courage to do so until *I did it.

“I want you,” I found myself blurting out one evening, after everyone had gone home and she had asked me to stay back so she could review some of the notes I’d made to a manuscript. It wasn’t the first time we’d been alone doing a similar activity, but it was the first time we were completely alone in the building ever since *that evening, and the second she lowered the files in her hands, I knew I’d fallen right into her trap.

So *that’s why she’d been hovering the entire day, leaning over so I was inevitably drawn to the neckline of her shirt. Fuck, she was good. And I bet she *felt good, too “Are you sure?” She questioned after looking me up and down, head tilted to the side and exposing just a little bit more of that delicious neck that I wanted to leave my mark on…

“Fuck yes,” I groaned, eyes widening once I realized I had actually said it out loud. I wasn’t too sure why this felt more embarrassing than my admission of wanting her, but it did.

Perhaps because once I got the message through (the message that would hopefully get me what I wanted), I hadn’t anticipated looking as fucking whipped as most definitely truly was.

But damn it. Who could really blame me? I really, really wanted her to kiss me…

A perfec eyebrow raised up, her expression denouncing her amusement. “Well, if you insist…” I didn’t even have the time to realize I had yet again voiced something I’d expected to be inner dialogue. Because in a quick movement, she was out of her chair and rounding the desk that separated us, settling between my legs before leaning closer and closer and then…

And then our lips were connected. She tasted like cherry lipgloss and I wondered how someone as powerful as her could remind me of a time so innocent, back when I had my first kiss on the school’s playground.

I thought I had everything figured out. I was going to be the king of the world, just like I was the king of break time, leading the boys far away from the girls without them realizing it was because I wanted them to be mine. I was going to be a heartbreaker by the time I reached high school, and then I did and it didn’t feel good.

It just made me feel empty. Girls expected me to know what to do but I wanted to lose myself in them too. I wanted to forget it all for a while, have someone else lead the dance and allow me to ignore my problems, ignore how I found my dad balls deep in someone who wasn’t my mother, ignore how she yelled at me that I should have never been born. 

As her tongue swiped my lips open, all of my worries wiped away at the taste of her saliva. It was more than an instinct to let her in: it was a need. My hand went around her head to hold her close but hers reached for my neck, and she *squeezed.

It wasn’t enough to hurt me, but it sent the message across. And it made me so fucking horny. I whined when she pulled away, overwhelmingly aware that her rosy lipcolor was now slathered all over my lower face, knowing my eyes were glossy and my pupils blown.

I used to drink to feel this way. Now, I was praying I’d never have to search for relief in the bottom of a glass again.

She dove in to capture my lips in another kiss, one hundred times more aggressive than the previous one. I felt her weight settle over mine when she climbed onto my lap and my hands fell to the sides as the hand that wasn’t gripping my throat pulled on my hair. I choked in surprise at how fantastic it felt.

She bit down sensuously on my bottom lip when she pulled away, and it felt too fucking hot in that air-conditioned office room. I held her stare as she sized me up, but I couldn’t say it was easy. I didn’t know why, but she intimidated me.

Perhaps it was the fire I could see burning in her eyes. I found myself oddly attracted towards it.

I think I’d like to get burnt.

That kiss wasn’t enough. Even though it had me feeling more alive than I’d felt in months, even though it had my cock straining against my jeans (just from a little dance of lips)- I wanted more.

But my boss didn’t seem too eager to give me what I wanted, only to do what she pleased.

“Has anyone ever told you that you have a very pretty smile?” The reaction was automatic. The edges of my lips quirked up, not being used at all to the silly adjective being applied to me.

When I shook my head, she smirked like the cat that caught the canary, swiftly slipping from my lap to kneel between my legs. “You’re a very pretty boy, aren’t you, honey?” A sound I’d never heard out of my own mouth resonated across the room at her words, paired with the phantom drag of her fingernail over the bulge on my jeans. “Tell me what you want, puppy,” she took mercy on me, but I couldn’t speak. Hypnotized by the mischief in her eyes, she seemed to understand it because slowly, she unzipped my pants, motioning me to raise my hips just enough so she could release my dick.

She didn’t waste any moment before leaning down and licking a line straight up my cock. “You’re so sensitive…” She mocked when I shuddered, fascinated by the way she immediately came back for more, licking and nibbling but never engulfing my member the way I wanted her to.

It felt like she just truly wanted to get acquainted with my taste.

“Tell me, pretty boy…” My breaths were growing heavier, my heart fighting against my ribcage. “Do you want your cock in my mouth?”

The understatement of the century. I tried to nod, too tired from holding back to even utter a word, but that just earned me a disappointed sound from her lips, hummed against the head of my cock.

She sounded unimpressed, and I’d never in my life had wanted to do more for someone else than I did right at that moment.

“Say it,” she ordered, helping me in my helpless state. I don’t think I would have been able to realize what it was that she wanted otherwise. “Say what you want and I might give it to you.”

At that point, I would do anything to have her suck me. I wasn’t too proud to beg - not anymore. 

Our eyes met. I knew what I had to do.

“Please, suck me,” I begged. “Please, please, suck me.” The grin that I received in response had my stomach falling down like I was on a roller coaster.

“Okay, I will suck you, honey…” She answered by licking a line up my hard member. “But you don’t get to cum until I say so.” And then she swallowed down half of my length, head bobbing up and down with the motions that were driving me crazy in ecstasy.

It had never felt this good before.

She was patient with the way that she licked me. It was like she was trying to memorize my every reaction, what made me jerk up and moan out loud in desire for her.

I felt close, too close. I was going to cum in a spectacular way, like I’d never came before, but when I let her know, she pulled away. “Rule number one,” she told me, “you can only cum inside my pussy.”

She started to get up and I understood I wouldn’t be going into her pussy that night, but I wasn’t prepared to say goodbye just yet.

“I-I want to taste you too.” She smirked at that, fingers making quick work of her skirt while she left me in the chair and climbed on the desk before us.

“Beg me for it,” she ordered, making me swallow around a dry throat. I wasn’t used to being in this position, but for her, I’d try.

Rubbing my sweaty palms on my thighs, I asked her to let me lick her off as sweetly as I could, only to get a pensive look in her face as a response.

“I don’t think you’re desperate enough.” God, she was so fucking sexy. Inhaling deeply, I prepared myself to try again.

“Please, miss. I am dying to taste you, please.” With a nod, she allowed me to do so, and so I leaned down to lick a stripe up her cunt, and I instantly groaned.

She tasted too fucking sweet. It was everything I had ever wished for, and I was addicted. Gripping her hips eagerly, I leaned down once more and buried myself against that delicious cunt, sucking and licking and swirling my tongue against her little nub.

She held me by the back of my head, forcing me to stay put even despite my rapidly decreasing ability to breathe - but I didn’t mind. I’d die happily if she’d keep giving me those sounds that she released, little breathless whimpers and moans, even a small call of my name.

“Fuck yeah.” Hearing her curse was such a turn on. “Yeah, this is where you belong now, puppy. On your knees for me.”

I moaned against her cunt, and the vibrations were all that were missing for her to reach her high. “Kiss me,” was the first thing she ordered once she had caught her breath, and I didn’t clean myself up before her lips were on mine, licking away the remnants of her own taste.

My eyes struggled to flutter open once she unglued herself from me. I earned a head pat for my efforts, and nothing had ever felt better than that simple gesture.

“It seems that I’m gonna have to train you, pretty boy…” I hadn’t realized it until then, but I’d come all over myself, just by eating her out. But I didn’t have the time to focus on that, because in a second her hand was around my neck, slightly choking me.

“I think I’ll buy you a nice chain… Make sure everyone in the office knows that you’re my little bitch.” I whimpered at the idea, and she smiled, arms closing in on me as she hugged me to herself despite the messy state of my body.

“How are you feeling?” She asked, her fingernails scratching my head and almost making me purr. “Want to take a shower?”

I nodded slowly, sleep suddenly taking over me, but I allowed her to get up and drag me towards the bathroom in her office.

“Can’t wait to take you to bed, puppy.”

[reiderwriter]

Little Angel

Pairing: Spencer Reid × virgin!fem reader

Genre: SMUT, some fluff, a little tiny smidge of angst. MINORS DNI 18+

Summary: As the youngest and most innocent member of the BAU, they all take care of their little angel. When they find out just how innocent you are, though, one member takes his possession to the next level. You're his little angel, and he's determined to have you.

Warnings: loss of virginity, loss of innocence, degradation, pet names, oral sex, thigh riding, fingering, cum marking, love bites, Spencer is territorial and possessive, Dom! Spencer Reid, PinV sex, mentions breeding, but he pulls out.

A/N: We've reached Day 8 of kinktober! It's our second "long" fic, meaning there's a bit more plot to this, and the smut scene is longer too (WC is almost 7k!) I hope you love this one just as much as I did... The kinktober masterlist can be found here, and my regular masterlist is here too! If you want something specific, my requests are open ❤️

Your first three months with the BAU were a blur, and for good reason. Endless cases, back-to-back, interrupted only by the slight hint of a weekend or the ever possible death row interview. You were tired, stressed, and afraid to walk home alone at night, and absolutely satisfied. As far as you were concerned, it was all worth it to get these monsters off the streets, to help save their victims and to find out what made them tick. There was nothing else you'd rather be doing. 

The team had helped you settle in well, too. You'd joined the team after Alex Blake had left - she'd recommended you actually from the college seminars you'd taken with her. You were obviously lacking a bit of experience, so they took on two team members, and you and Kate Callahan had the great opportunity of both being the newbie. But you had a slight disadvantage of age, coming in as the youngest member of the team. You thought that might be why you'd settled in so well, in all honesty. 

Hotch and Rossi were both protective in a fatherly way. Hotch pushed you and Rossi encouraged you and that was everything you needed from them. A strong pat on the back at the end of a case and a "you did good, kid," and whatever hell they'd pushed you through, it was worth it. Morgan's tough love was brotherly, but he did a great job at getting you to relax on and off the case, reminding you to not take the work home. JJ and Kate were great mentors. It wasn't easy being women in the FBI, let alone the unit that specifically looked into some of the most misogynistic killings, rapes and abductions in the world. They both gave you tips about how to handle condescending officers, and JJ had held your hair back after you'd puked your guts up on a particularly harrowing day in the field. With Penelope, friendship was easy, and you loved talking to her about whatever hyperfixation you were on that week, loving that there was someone on your team that had filled their life with genuine joy in the face of so much horror. 

And Spencer. Honestly, you were beginning to think that you'd used Spencer as a human stuffed toy a bit too much. 

You don't know how it happened at first, just that after one of your first few cases, you'd been so elated to find a victim alive, safe but traumatised, that you'd thrown yourself into his arms the minute you got back to the precinct. 

"We did it, I thought she was going to be dead, Spencer but she isn't." Your head was pressed into his chest, you were almost surprised he even heard them, muffled as they were. If you weren't so elated, you'd have noticed the way he'd stiffened at your touch, panicking slightly before awkwardly wrapping his arms around you, too. But you pulled away before you could notice that he wasn't really used to any physical comfort, bouncing off to write up your case report. 

Spencer noticed, though. Noticed how the heat of your body made him feel comforted, the way his heart rate increased to 125 BPM from it's base rate and didn't fall back to normal for another half hour. He noticed that you smelt like jasmine and patchouli, and more importantly, he noticed that he didn't really care if you touched him, and that was new. 

It became a kind of ritual for you, finding him after a case and folding into his arms to celebrate. They were friendly hugs, after all, a sign that you'd been through hell together, and you'd made it through like avenging angels. They only lingered longer when the cases went badly. You turned to crying in his arms after you'd discovered the body of a dead street girl, Veronica, in pieces in the house of an unsub who'd committed suicide by cop moments earlier. 

"I told her she'd be safe if she talked to us, Reid. I told her we'd protect her, that I'd protect her." You were so hurt by that failure that he'd had to drive you home that night, holding your hand the entire way so you didn't feel so alone, left to fester in your guilt. 

The rest of the team had begun teasing you about the hugs, but you'd brushed them off. You hugged everyone else too, and you knew for a fact that Penelope hugged every member of the team, so there was nothing special going on between you and Spencer. No one had deigned to inform you of Spencer's germophobia and aversion to touch. 

"Gonna tell me what that's all about?" Morgan asked Spencer as you bounced away from a hug one day, leaving to remove your FBI vest. 

"What what's all about?" He replied coldly, turning away to remove his own vest, replacing it with his blazer. 

"What, you don't have a statistic for how many germs are passed between people during a hug, Kid, come on, you were practically smelling her hair." The older man's eyebrows raised in a question again, but Spencer continued to blow him off. 

"I hug people all the time, it's not a big deal." He shrugged. 

"It took you four years to return one of Penelope's hugs, and you still only do that on special occasions. That's not all the time." 

"Derek, just drop it. There's nothing going on, she just… She just does it sometimes." 

It was when you'd hugged him in the middle of the office, without a case to use as an excuse, that you noticed an underlying tension in the office. You were all celebrating, of course, Callahan had just announced her pregnancy, and you were all so happy for her. You'd heard the happy news and instantly turned and thrown yourself into Spencer's arms. Even you weren't sure why, not even questioning it until you saw the awkward glances on the other profilers' faces. You brushed it off by rushing to give each of them hugs, and running out in a mad flush, needing air, or water or something to get you out of what was looking more and more like an interrogation room. 

A few cases later, the entire team headed to O'Keefe's to celebrate. 

"To another case successfully solved," Morgan toasted, and you all joined him, lifting your glasses in triumph. 

"To the wonders of non-alcoholic beer," chimed in Kate, leaving you all laughing together. The booth was small, and as usual, you'd found yourself sat right in the arms of Spencer Reid. You hadn't intended it, honestly, having slightly avoided him recently, but you'd followed Penelope into her side of the circular table, and Reid had followed you. You were sat squished between them, your arms resting awkwardly on your lap between drinks. 

"Okay, a night of drinking is slightly boring without some games to spice things up, what do you say, hot chocolate?" Penelope said, addressing Morgan who was on her other side. 

"I'm all ears, baby girl. What were you thinking?" 

"How about twenty questions? We already know a lot about each other, let's see what we don't know?" Kate suggested, thriving off of the knowledge that as the sole sober member present, she'd hold all the cards tomorrow. 

"What, how is asking questions a game?" Reid questioned jokingly from beside you. "That's just an interrogation or a therapy session, there's no winner or loser."  

Already slightly buzzing from your drink, you turned to him and out your fingers in his lips, shushing him. 

"No time for logic in matters of the bottle, Spencer. Let's play." He pulled your fingers off him, but nodded, holding them in his grip still as you turned back to the table. 

"I'll start! JJ, are you and Will thinking of having more baby LaMontagne's?" Penelope jumped at the chance to probe her teammate, and you laughed at her enthusiasm. 

"There have been discussions, but I'll not confirm or deny yet." JJ said, taking a sip of her drink as she slyly avoided a direct answer. 

"I always forget why you were so good with the press, Miss No Answers. Okay, your turn to ask a question." 

"Okay, Morgan. Are you thinking of popping the question to Savannah anytime soon?" 

"Did she send you?" He laughed and took a drink. "If I do, she'll be the first to know." 

The game went back and forth like this for a few rounds before Penelope turned the spotlight back to you. 

"Okay, Y/N. You were a college student recently, I know you've got some wild stories. Where's the craziest place you've ever done it?" You knew Penelope didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. She was just an open person. 

But you shifted in your seat nonetheless, trying to figure out if you could answer or even if you would. Your tongue was a bit looser than you expected though, because before you could even finish thinking you just blurted it out. 

"Nowhere." 

The others blinked at you slightly before Penelope dived in with another question. 

"Is that Nowhere, Oaklahoma, or you're just not having sex in crazy places?" 

"No. I'm not… I'm not having sex. Period. Never have." You felt yourself shrink as the other members of the team awkwardly apologised for probing you so much. Really it wasn't that big of a deal, and it wasn't as if you were saving it for religious or moral reasons. But you'd not been the most popular teenager, and you'd started studying serial killers and sociopaths so early that you really hadn't wanted to get so intimate with someone else like that. 

Unbeknownst to you, Spencer's grip on his own drink had tightened ever so slightly, his heart race had picked up again, and suddenly the hand that was holding yours suddenly let you go, quietly dropping your fingers like they were glowing cinders, and he was dripping in gasoline, waiting to ignite. 

Lust. He felt sick with himself for the images that were suddenly flashing through his mind now that he knew you'd never been held in that way, trying not to fantasise about you underneath him, holding him, begging him, feeling all of him. He took another swig of his drink and politely excused himself to get another as he let himself catch some air, as the sudden realization that he wanted you - and had wanted you for quite some time now - finally hit him.

The next couple of weeks were normal, and you were thankful to have that discussion behind you. No one treated you differently, acted like you were more of a child than before, asked you how your dating life was or set you up on blind dates, which was really refreshing actually. You'd let some friends know previously, and that's all they'd done, surprised that you could live ignorant to wonders of sex without shrivelling up and dying. 

The only thing that was different was Spencer. And that wasn't really difference so much as growing more comfortable with each other. He'd rest his hand on the small of your back now in support sometimes, or have a hand slung over the back of your chair when sitting together. He was constantly at your side, especially if you were around male suspects or officers who'd taken a bit of a ballsy approach. 

You liked it, probably a bit too much. You gravitated towards him in a room filled with people, and found yourself hugging him more often, when you left a room, when you entered one, when he looked like he needed it. Which, recently, was all the time. A month went by with this increased comfort level, and soon you found yourself feeling wrong if his hands weren't on you. 

He stood close to you all the time, and you noticed the stares you were getting from everyone else. A few officers who'd approach you would apologise to him when they noticed him at your back, hand on your hip as he pulled you away. 

After one case, you could even swear that you felt more than him than you were expecting. He'd moved away slightly in between one of your hugs, but you'd pulled his arms back around you and stepped closer, pressing your back against his chest, letting your head rest on his arms. Something hard and long wedged up against your ass, and in a split second he was pulling away before you could ask him about it. He excused himself, and you felt your body burn up. It was Spencer, it was just Spencer and that wasn't because of you, it was some other reason. 

Spencer didn't know what he was doing. He grew more possessive over you by the day, and he'd honestly nearly bitten the head off an officer who asked him for your number. 

"Sorry, she doesn't have a phone." 

"But I saw her with one earlier. Look I get it she's FBI, and you guys are-" 

"Okay, so she's not interested."

"Hey, why don't you let her decide that wise guy?" 

"Oh sure, get angry I'm sure she'd love that. She's not interested, she has me." He couldn't help himself from getting in the officers face at that, and Morgan had to pull him back from the edge. 

"Wow, wow, hey, calm down." The officer stormed out, and he felt triumphant for only a second before Morgan rounded on him. 

"Whatever this thing you've got going on, Spencer, you need to get it out of your system as soon as possible." His voice was low and stern, throwing a glance over his shoulder to where you were sitting, staring confusedly through the glass at Spencer, whose eyes refused to move from your own. 

" I just wanted him to back off, she doesn't like him like that."

"No, you wanted him to back off because you've marked her like some animal marking its territory. She's not your prey, Spencer, she's our team member, now you're gonna have to get your act together and leave her alone, because we've got work to do." 

Sighing and throwing his hands through his hair again, he finally looked away from you and gathered his breath. He wanted to stop this too, this horrible perverted feeling of needing his hands on you, wanting to possess you day and night. To protect you. He just wasn't sure if he was strong enough to do that. 

The next time you all went to O'Keefe's he certainly tried. You expected him to follow you into the booth again - he didn't, sitting opposite you next to JJ. You expected him to talk to you or look at you for more than a second at a time - he didn't, avoiding most conversations entirely and keeping his eyes fixed on the bar. You certainly expected him to still be sat at the table when you returned from the bathroom, ready to slip into the seat beside him, force him to talk to you. Instead he was gone, and you scanned the rest of the bar trying to locate him. 

Something green and vile jumped you when you finally locked onto him, stood at the bar, surrounded by other women. Surrounded was maybe an exaggeration, as there were really only two of them, but they were practically draping themselves over him, and for some reason that set something alight inside of you. 

You watched them for a moment, how one of them trailed a hand up his arm as he shuddered away from their touch, the other pressing herself against the bar so her chest pushed up dramatically. The green bile in your throat carried your feet forwards, and before you knew it, you were clearing it from your throat to grab their attentions. 

"Spencer, there you are!" You brightened your tone specifically, as you locked eyes with his panicked ones. The two girls looked you up and down as you moved closer, brushing past them to climb up right into his lap on the barstool, pulling his arm around you as you pressed your ass into his crotch. 

"Are you going to introduce me to your new friends?" The smile didn't reach your eyes as you let your back rest against his chest comfortably, watching the women to see their reactions. The one touching him pulled her arm back instantly, and the other readjusted her dress before they both left silently, carrying their glasses back to wherever they came from. 

You watched them leave a little triumphantly before the green faded, and you realised what you had done. 

"Y/N…?" His voice was hesitant in your ear, and you shivered slightly before pushing off of him. 

"I'm so sorry, Spence, it just- it… looked like you were hard." You panicked again, pushing closer to him. "No, like you were in a hard situation, not that you were," your hand accidentally dropped to his crotch as you spoke your final words: "Hard."

He twitched beneath you as you finally looked down to where your hand was, as his mouth opened to say something. 

"Y/N…" was all you heard before you turned around, and fast walked to the entrance, picking your bag up quickly on the way, and then sprinted the second the cold air hit your face. 

You cursed yourself inwardly as you ran the three blocks more to your apartment, thankful that you were at least in walking (or apparently running) distance. What the hell had you been thinking? Practically sexually harassing one of your coworkers like that, grabbing his dick, albeit accidentally. 

You slammed your door shut behind you, leaning against it and sliding to the floor as you finally accepted that whatever this was with Reid, it wasn't friendship for you anymore. And you weren't sure if it had ever been. 

With your head between your legs, arms wrapped tightly around yourself, you started replaying each moment with him, each touch from the very first. How even the memory of a brush past you could excite a fire in your heart, a heat between your legs growing by the second. 

You wanted to crawl pathetically into bed and not think about him until the next morning at work,  but fate, or Doctor Spencer Reid, had other plans. 

The knock at your door was sudden and incessant, the banging starting loud, and staying consistent until you tentatively pulled it open. 

He was stood there, chest heaving, looking down at you, sweat coating his forehead. 

"Can I… Come in?" He asked, and you nodded, too stunned at his sudden appearance to tell if this was real or just your fantasy becoming a little too realistic. 

He thanked you for letting him inside, and you showed him inside, guiding him to he couch, where you took a seat opposite him. 

"I wanted to make sure you were okay, you left in a rush and…" He trailed off, eyes flicking down to your lips. His Adam's apple bobbed with his swallow, and you watched it yourself, trying to avoid meeting his eyes, as if you were a schoolgirl about to get in trouble with a disappointed teacher. 

"I'm okay." 

"Okay, that's great, that's… Great." His breaths caught up to him, and he took another deep breath and a swallow before continuing. "How about we continue that game from last time. Twenty questions?" 

You'd do anything to stop him walking out of that door, but you felt too shy to touch him again, even in the friendly ways you were used to, so you eagerly accepted. 

"Yes, that… That sounds fun, thank you." 

"Okay. Question one. Do you know why I'm here?" He asks as he shifts closer to you, still not touching, but at a proximity where it would be natural to accidentally brush against one another. 

"N-No. But I might have an idea." He nodded at your response before moving on to his next question. 

"Question two. Are you a virgin?" He didn't trip or stumble over the words, pushing them out slowly and delicately so as not to offend. 

"Yes." The lump in your throat was thick, almost as if he'd put something there that you couldn't help but choke on. 

"Question three. Do you want to remain a virgin?" 

You shook your head no, following it with your voice seconds later as he stood up from his seat, putting some distance between you. 

"Question four. Do you feel intoxicated or drunk right now?" He held himself still as you sat on the very edge of your chair, desperate to feel his hands on you now. 

"No, I only had one sip at the bar before…" He held up a hand to silence you, and you did. 

Question five. Answer me honestly. Do you like it when I touch you?" 

"Yes." Your breath was a whisper, but it was breathy, sounding almost pornographic in your neediness. 

"Question six. Do you like it when other people touch you?" 

"Do you?" His head snapped back to yours, and you froze under his gaze. "Not as much." You answered and relaxed again, pouting slightly at his lack of answer. 

"Question seven. Do you like me touching other people?" He took a step closer to you again with this question, but you continued pouting as you shook your head. 

"No. I don't." His lips quirked upwards before he could stop them, but he gathered himself together again. 

"Question eight. Do you want me to leave?" You met his eyes at that question, taking one good, hard, long look at him. You noted the tensed jaw, the clenched fists, his stiff body language, trailing your eyes over him before looking him directly in the eyes. 

"No." You let the word hang on your tongue, pulling it out a bit longer than was necessary as you watched him take in a shaky breath. 

"Question nine. Do you want me to come over there and kiss you?" 

"God, yes." He was on you in seconds, restraints gone, throwing himself back at you as his lips collided with your own. Virgin you may be, but you'd kissed men before, and it had been nothing like this. 

His hands trailed up to your hair, tipping your head back slightly so he could gain better access. He bit your lip and thrust his tongue into your mouth when you gasped, so eager to consume every part of you whole. 

You'd never felt like this before. 

He pulled away, and you tried desperately to chase his lips, even as your lungs begged you to stop. 

"Last question," he whispered in the space between you, holding the sides of your face at a distance so neither of you could be tempted to dive in for a second kiss, or a third, or fourth. "Do you want me to fuck you?" You whimpered at his words, nodding furiously as you tried to lunge at him again, but he held you firm. 

"I need you to say your answer, baby. I need to hear your consent, okay?" You nod again and open your mouth, eyes never leaving his lips as you moan out a definitive "yes."

Instead of letting your lips fall against his again, he lunges for you, grabbing your legs and hauling you up into his arms, carrying you bridal style all the way back to your bedroom. 

"Gonna do it right," he mutters to himself as he throws you down on the bed, pulling back to take off his jacket and unbutton the cuffs on his shirt, rolling the sleeves up meticulously. 

"I'm going to take care of you, Y/N, okay?" You nod at him and flush, suddenly feeling the strength of his need for you as he holds himself back. He puts his hands on you again, gently coaxing your legs apart, pushing your skirt up over your hips. Reflexively, you move your hands over yourself, covering your sensitive places with your hands. 

"Don't cover yourself." His voice is strong, deep, as he orders you, and you let your arms drop back to your side. He traces his hands up and down your legs, almost as if he were memorising every inch of your skin, how you felt under his hands. 

His hands make their way up to your panties, and you watch with baited breath as he moves you, pulling your hips up so he can let them fall down. The lace material tickles you as he pushes them past your thighs, over your knees and finally off your legs entirely, balling them up and putting them in his pocket. 

"I'm going to touch you now, okay?" He asks it like a question, but he doesn't wait for your answer, unable to hold himself back before diving straight between your legs, so desperate to taste you that he's deaf to everything else. 

His tongue connects with your sensitive area first, tracing up and down at a steady pace as his legs half-heartedly push your legs open. It's almost as if he's enjoying the pressure of your legs wrapped around him, suffocating between your thighs as he feels your pleasure build, and build. 

Eventually he pushes your hips further apart, letting himself push his face into even more of you, his tongue entering your hole as he begins fucking it in and out of you, fingers coming back up to your clit to keep up the pressure there. 

"Spencer, please, please, fuck." 

"I love it when you beg for me like a needy little slut," he whispers, holding your legs apart as he looked up at you, face slick with your arousal. Your mouth drops wide at his words, and he immediately begins to retract them. 

"I'm sorry, Y/N, if that was too far, I just got caught up -" 

"I liked it." You said, quieting him as you spread your legs a bit further apart, begging for him to continue. He smiled and dived right back in, bringing his other hand up under your dress, all the way to your chest as you kept your legs open yourself. 

He sucked your clit into his mouth, lapping up all the juices you were releasing as you moaned underneath him, bucking into his face at the memory of his degradation. 

You were a needy little slut, and you needed him to make you cum. He was more than happy to oblige. 

He kept you there for what felt like forever, drinking you in for as long as he could. You orgasmed twice before he finished, completely overstimulated by the way he was desperately fucking you with his mouth. 

He was obsessed with you, with your scent, your taste, with being the first ever person to ever touch you like this, to fuck you, to make you feel so good. Without him even realising, you're pushed to the brink for a second time, shuddering under the heat of his mouth as he drinks you in. 

He finally pulls his head up again, coming up for air as you're twitching under him. 

"Perfect, baby, so perfect for me." His lips fall down to your own, and suddenly you're tasting yourself on his tongue. It's hypnotising, and despite the pleasure you've just received, you need more, desperate to feel him on you again. 

When he pulls his mouth away, he replaces himself with his fingers, pushing them into your mouth. 

"Suck," he says and you listen, as he watches the way you lick yourself off of him. 

He unzips your dress with his free hand, carefully pulling your arms out of the sleeves and pushing your dress off your body. You trace your tongue around every ridge of his fingers, leaving no inch undiscovered. He moved you to pull the dress of, and you graciously followed, letting him do whatever he wanted to you. 

"Nice little slut, tasting herself on my fingers?" He whispered when you were finally bare, pulling his fingers from your mouth, letting the trail of spit hang between you as you moaned. 

He removed himself from over you, and moved to sit on the edge of the bed. 

"Come here. Come and sit on my lap." 

You cautiously followed his directions. You'd thought that he'd fuck you then, after spending so long getting you ready, but apart from his tie, which he was in the middle of discarding as you crawled over to him, he hadn't derobed any further. 

"That's it baby, come and sit yourself down right here." He pat his thigh and you crawled over, lowering yourself down onto his clothed leg. 

"What now, Spencer?" You stuttered the words out, heart beating as you awaited his instructions. 

"Now, I want you to rock your hips back and forth. Just like this." He grabbed your hips and started moving you against his leg, pushing you down to grind into him. 

"Spencer, wait, I don't know-" 

"I do. I know you can do it, so please try. For me." You pulled you in for a kiss, and then removed his hands from you, leaving you to rock against his thigh. 

You were unsure of the movements at first, moving slowly as you dragged your aching cunt up and down the top of his pants, watching as you saw the wet patch you were making. You moaned with each movement, growing faster and more confident as you continued. 

"That's it baby, use me to get yourself off, okay? Let me see you." He whispered in your ears, pushing your sweat-slicked hair ou of your face, holding it up for you. 

"Spencer please," you don't even know what you're asking for as you beg him, feeling that familiar bubble in your stomach grow. 

"No, you can do it. You look so beautiful like this, Y/N, so desperate for my cock, huh?" You start trying to unbutton his shirt, desperate to see more of him, to feel more of his bare skin on your own. But he stops your hands and holds them against his chest. 

"You need to ask nicely first, before trying to undress me like a needy little whore." The words should sound violent, should humiliate you, but his voice is so soft you simply move faster, moaning and desperate to cum one more time. 

"Fuck, Spencer, I'm gonna… I'm gonna…" 

"No, you're not." Before you finish, he pulls you off his leg, hauling your body back onto the bed, and laying you back down on your back. You moan in disapproval, so frustrated with the lack of release that you feel tears prick the corners of your eyes. 

"Don't cry, baby. I'll give you what you want soon." He practically rips his clothes off, pulling his vest over his head, stumbling over each button and removing his belt and pants before climbing over to you. His cock finally free you take your first glance at it. 

You'd never entirely been sure how it was that the male appendage fit inside something as small as your pussy, and you were doubly unsure about how Spencer's was ever going to fit inside you. You stared at it wide eyed, as you took in the length, the girth, and the heat of it as he stroked it in one hands, pushing on top of you. 

He let go of it as soon as he was between your legs, letting it fall onto your stomach as he crawled between your legs. He trailed a finger over your lower abdomen just around where his cock was twitching against you as his other hand came up to stroke your hair. 

"You look worried, Y/N, what's wrong?" 

"Will it, um, will it fit?" You asked, knowing how cliché you sounded. 

"We've spent the last thirty-seven minutes loosening you up with foreplay. It should fit, but I can't promise it won't hurt."

"Right, if my hymen is still intact you have to…" 

"That's right. And then it's going to reach all the way in you to here," with each word, he stepped his fingers up from your clit to where the tip of his dick sat on your stomach, letting you come to terms with exactly how full you were about to be. 

"I'm going to fill you, and you're going to be mine, and I'm going to be yours. My sweet angel." He stroked your face, catching his thumb on your lips on the way down, tempted to thrust it into your mouth again, to see just how much of a whore you could be, given the chance. 

Instead, he lined himself up with your dripping core, and, making sure one last time that this is what you wanted, slowly pushed in. 

It was uncomfortable at first, having something so wholly alien inside of you, you weren't sure how to react. You wrapped your arms around him, digging your nails in, deep, as he pushed in further. 

"Y/N, I need to move more now, and it's going to hurt a little, you just have to trust me, okay?" He kissed the top of your head, but you were so lost in the sensations to answer. With one swift jerk of his hips, he pushed through your hymen, and fully sheathed himself inside of you. He pressed small kisses everywhere on your face, while whispering to you how beautiful you were. 

"You're doing so good for me angel, I'm going to take care of you. Going to make you feel so much better than this. You're so beautiful." His lips were distractingly sweet, as were his words, and soon you found yourself relaxing into him, the sharp pain of earlier fading to an electric buzz inside of you. 

You jerked your hips up to meet his, and with that, he knew you were ready. From his words, you'd assumed that he'd move slowly in you. But with one final lingering kiss to your lips, he lifted his chest up, pinned your legs tightly down, and started thrusting hard and fast. 

"Sorry, just couldn't help myself baby. Needed to see you looking ruined underneath me." Moans spilled out of your mouth with his every movement, and the orgasm you'd built up earlier hit you like a ton of bricks, blackness hazing over your eyes as they rolled back in your head. 

"Fuck, fuck, Spencer, don't stop!" You screamed at the top of your lungs, unable to control your pitch or volume as he slammed into you desperately. He was so turned on by the sight of you beneath him, so proud of having fucked away your virginity, to have given you your very first penetrative orgasm that he wouldn't have heard anything that came out of your mouth. 

His eyes were fixated at the place between you, where you joined, where he was entering you, defiling you, claiming you, using you, breeding you. 

He knew he wouldn't cum inside of you, not the first time, but it was tempting. Instead, he chose to move his lips back to your skin. He marked you with love bites and hickeys across your neck, chest and shoulders as you moaned with every roll of his hips, shuddering on his cock. He was close. And seeing you like this, displaying all the signs that you were his and his only, he finally lost it. 

Pulling his dick out of you, he stroked it through his release, spraying his seed over the parts of your skin he hadn't bruised with love. Your stomach, your breasts, hell, one spurt even landed dangerously close to your lips, he was everywhere. You. Were. His. 

He fell beside you, panting for a few moments as you finally cracked your eyes back open, realising what the two of you had just done. You wiped the cum from your face with a stray finger, staring at it for a second before licking it off your finger. 

"As hot as that was, I think we should get you cleaned up properly, angel." He spends forever cleaning you up, carrying you to the bathroom, washing your entire body with hot water and a fresh cloth, running you a hot bath to relax your muscles. You snuggle into his chest at some point in the bath, relaxing so much into him, that you drift off to sleep. 

You feel him carry you to bed, semi-conscious, tucking you in and climbing in next to you. He holds you through the night, the way he holds you after your bad cases. He holds you until he doesn't. 

You're blindsided by the cold bed the next morning. You knew he would be there, you'd felt him inside you and next to you, and you'd needed his warmth, but he was gone. You looked for him in every other part of your home, looked for a note or an explanation, but there wasn't one. 

Through tears, you got ready for work, ready to face him and make him answer why he was suddenly gone. You wanted him to apologise, especially since he'd marked you so badly the night before you looked like a car crash victim from the neck down. 

Dark lavender blossomed along your collar bones as you looked at yourself in the mirror, trailing a finger along every place that he touched the night before. 

"How could you be so stupid?" You cursed yourself. If you'd have listened to what he was saying last night, really listened, you'd have known he wasn't going to be here in the morning. He wanted to ruin you, to possess you, to take away your virginity, and he'd done just that. 

You almost wanted to keep the bruises on display going into work, to make him confront the pain he caused you by leaving. In the end, it was the inevitable stares from everyone else that convinced you otherwise. You wouldn't give him the satisfaction. 

You pushed through the doors to the bullpen and didn't bother putting your bag down before you started scanning the room for him. 

"Where's Spencer?" You practically shouted the words at Morgan, unable to hold back your anger. 

"Y/N, what's wrong?" 

"Where is he?" You demand, and there must be something in your eyes that speaks to your devastation because Morgan shuts up and just points to the top of the stairs, where Spencer is exiting Hotch's office without a care in the world. 

You don't realise that something is tears until you're beating a hand against his chest in frustration as they spill down your face. 

"Where were you?" You demand, sobbing into his chest, as he pulls your hands away. The entire office is watching your commotion, but you don't care, you're not letting him move you out of the way. 

"Y/N, I need you to sign this." His voice is calm, and you hate him for that. That he can stay so neutral when he's just broken your heart. 

"No, not until you tell me why you left." 

"Sign the papers, Y/N, trust me." He pulls your chin up so you can look him in the eye, and you catch a glimpse of the man who has been holding you, comforting you for the last four months. You snatch the pen from him and sign the papers, thrusting them back at him with a scowl. 

He smiles as he looks down at them, placing them back on his desk before pulling you in for a long, deep kiss. You're shocked at first, but you melt into it, pulling him closer so he can't leave again. 

"I'm sorry. I had to come into the office to declare our relationship, Morgan sometimes tells me I have a one track mind, and when I woke up this morning, the one thing I wanted to do was get it in writing that you were mine." 

Your push the tears out of his face, and attempt to pull him down for another kiss. You don't get the chance, as the sound of several throats clearing around you burst your bubble. 

"Public space, no canoodling." Rossi shouts down at you from the balcony, a soft smirk on his face. 

Penelope runs in from her office, and stares wide-eyed at the lack of space between the two of you. "You! And you! Security cameras….. You!"

"Now, I'm sure there's a story here, but from the state of our little angel's neck here, I'm sure I don't want to hear it." Derek laughs, smacking Spencer on the back in praise as he walks up the stairs to the meeting room. 

You slap a hand over your neck, trying to pull the turtleneck further up to hide the mark you evidently missed. 

"She's my angel, now." Spencer calls up to him. "I have the paperwork to prove it."  

[buckyownsmylife]

Crash & Burn - Chapter 2

The one where Bucky is your father best friend, and the man you want to take your virginity.

Bucky is losing everything: his wife, his business, his house. And when his best friend is too busy to offer him the support he needs, you offer him your ear and shoulder. He wouldn't find it too bad that getting closer to you made him see you with new eyes, if it wasn't for the one thing you asked in return: you want him to be the first man to ever fuck you.

For general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

Living in Frank’s place was an easier adjustment that I thought it would be.

Even though he was hardly ever around, I was never alone. From the second I got home after a day trying to work through the ridiculous mistake I’d made in my business, Y/N was there to help me get my mind off of anything even remotely serious.

It should be weird to be so happy spending time with someone almost half my age. But the truth of the matter was that it wasn’t. What difference did her age make when we were watching Tim Burton movies or playing charades? Sometimes, we didn’t even talk. She’d just sit next to me, working on her own papers while I typed away on my computer.

I’d never had this sort of company before. It made me feel like I wasn’t actually broken, and suddenly, I wasn’t so sad anymore.

How could I, when she was there for me, every step of the way? There were still things to be fixed, but my marriage wasn’t one of them. Where once my life seemed dull and unexciting, now I woke up everyday with a smile on my face, knowing I had a lot of work to do, but at the end of the day, would get to come home to some sort of home-cooked meal or my favorite take-out.

Sometimes, I’d even walk into the house to find an impromptu show waiting for me.

Well, that was a bit presumptuous of my part. It was clear she didn’t actually know I was there and didn’t expect me to be back so soon. And even though I was obviously invading her privacy, I was glad I left work earlier than I intended. She looked too adorable using the remote as her microphone, moving her hips to the beat of some music I could not identify.

The chuckle left my lips before I could reel it in at the sight of her shaking her hips, and that’s when she froze on her tracks. “Oh my God!” She exclaimed, hands over her mouth upon finding me there, resting against the wall as I watched her eagerly. “I’m so sorry,” she rushed to apologize and turn the volume down. “I wasn’t expecting you back so soon.”

Frowning, I was about to reassure her there was nothing she needed to apologize for when I suddenly realized why the shirt she was wearing looked so familiar. Light blue, not even the folded sleeves could hide the fact that it was far too big to be hers - but of course, I knew that already.

I just hadn’t expected it to be my shirt.

My eyes took in every inch of her body hungrily, the surprise overruling any sort of logical thinking left in my brain. She looked good, with her legs all but exposed, the first few buttons of the shirt open to reveal even more of her soft skin for me to take in.

She looked… sexy. It was new.

“New outfit?” I opted to question, forgetting what I’d intended to say originally now that I knew she was wearing something of mine.

For the first time ever, my mind wandered off to dangerous territories, territories I had never once explored when it came to my best friend’s daughter, but before I could allow it to get too far, I shook myself out of it.

“Sorry,” she sheepishly smiled, adjusting the shirt under my heated gaze. “It was the first thing I found when I got out of the shower. I didn’t want to put on anything too restrictive.” I just nodded, eyes remaining on her as I swallowed around a dry throat and tried to understand what the fuck was happening to me.

“No, it’s okay,” I assured her, but it felt as if I was trying to assure myself of it, too. Everything was okay, wasn’t it? I’d just stared. That was all there was to it. There was nothing wrong about staring, and it’s not like I actually desired her.

I just needed to get off. It’d been way too fucking long.

“I don’t mind it. You can wear my clothes.” Clearing my throat, I averted my gaze and tried to focus it on something else in the room, anything. Deciding on the ceiling, I ignored the little chuckle she let out as she made her way towards me.

“Is that a promise?” She questioned, and I almost gasped in surprise when I felt her pull me by my tie. “Can I hold you accountable to it?” I felt my face burn up as her fingers deftly undid the knot around my throat, taking the constrictive item from me. It should have helped me relax - it should have made breathing easier, but as the first breath I drew brought her sweet perfume into my lungs, it only made me tenser.

It was quiet in the living room. I didn’t know what to say, but I wanted to know what she was thinking about as she played with the buttons of the shirt I was still wearing. Did she want this one too? She could have it. I didn’t mind.

“I’ve made you pasta,” she suddenly blurted out, surprising me from my inner monologue. “C’mon, I bet you’re hungry.” Releasing the white fabric, she reached for my fingers, and I let her tangle hers with mine and drag me towards the kitchen, all while I thought to myself - perhaps we shouldn’t be this close.

But I couldn’t get myself to step away.

After dinner, we snuggled on the couch while watching a movie. It was something we did almost every night, so there was nothing out of the ordinary about it - except for the way my heart pumped against my chest like I’d just finished a race, or as if I was about to face a fucking lion or tiger.

She looked up at me from under her eyelashes in the middle of a scene and suddenly… I want to kiss her, the thought materialized just for me to shake it away the second it tried to settle on my brain.

What the hell was going on with me?

“Any plans for Friday night?” I asked, dragging my eyes back to the television, trying to distract myself from her and the weird calling that had never really been there before. She seemed to consider my question for a few seconds before finally answering.

“A friend invited me to a party, but I’m not sure I’m going to go.”

“You should.” The words left my lips before I’d even processed it, and with the way she furrowed her eyebrows, it was clear that she was as confused as I was - but it made sense, once I stopped to consider it. She was young and she had so much to experience, so much she should be doing instead of staying in this house and babysitting me. “You should make an effort to leave the house from time to time. I haven’t seen you go to a single gathering since I moved in.”

She didn’t immediately answer me, and I forced myself not to look at her to check on her expression, see if she’d somehow realized why I was saying what I was saying. Rationally, I knew it was almost impossible, but as my heartbeat struggled to go back to a regular pace the longer we sat next to each other, her sweet perfume making my head swirl with every inhale, it was more of a matter of necessity than anything else, really.

“If you think so…” She pondered, relaxing back against the couch and allowing me to take a deep breath again as she did so. “I might go, then.”

“Good.” I nodded, determined to ignore the pang in my chest at the idea of her spending her Friday night in a loud, busy environment, surrounded by fuckboys who wouldn’t know how to treat her right.

It was the way it should be, though - I reminded myself of it. That’s what she should be experiencing, and as her father’s best friend, I should do my best to push her to create new memories while there was still time for her to do so.

Hell, as her own friend, that’s what I should be doing, too.

But it didn’t stop me from feeling this weird, emptiness deep in my chest, as I realized her finding someone to date at the party could very well mean the end of nights spent like this one - side by side, sharing a blanket, watching a movie together.

Sighing, I reached for the popcorn. Better make the most of it while it lasted.

[buckyownsmylife]

In regards to the bodyguard August! x reader storyline, may I request a head canon of August coming to know what he wants in the future from the endeavors with the reader?

Yes, of course!

August didn't know how it happened

It wasn't like it happened all at once, hitting him like a freight train

No, it was slow and steady, like waking up in the morning with the sunlight streaming over the curtains, without a care in the word as you didn't need to wake up at all

He was taking care of you one of those days

As it was still his job to do

And you turned to spoon-feed him some concoction you’d been cooking in your mansion’s kitchen, desperate to know what he thought of it

And he suddenly couldn’t keep it in anymore

“I love you,” he whispered, stopping you dead in your tracks

“W-what?”

You couldn’t believe it, so you had to hear it again to make sure you weren’t just daydreaming it.

“I love you,” he repeated.

Of course, he didn’t doubt himself for a single second, now that he knew it to be true.

You didn’t know what to say, so you just stood there, staring at him wide-eyed, watching as he approached and cornered you against the counter.

“I love you,” he said it once more, lifting you up and sitting you on the edge of the counter, cradling your face to make sure you were looking into his eyes and seeing the sincerity behind them.

“I love you too,” you finally broke down and said it, even if it was barely more than a whisper.

The smile he gave you in response could have made you fall in love with him all over again, but then he kissed you

It was deep and full of longing and it took your breath away

But it didn’t stop the thoughts you had running around in your head

“We have to run away,” you blurted out the second he let you go and he squeezed your hips in agreeance because he knew that was the only course of action that was left for the two of you

"Leave it to me," he asked, kissing your lips one last time before leaving you be with an order and a promise.

"I'll be back in three days, pack a back and be ready."

"Where are you going?" You trusted him with your life, more than anyone else in the world, but still, you had to ask.

He smiled, turning to look at you from over his shoulder at the threshold of your kitchen door.

"You must have turned me into a sappy romantic, sweetheart... the only answer I can think to give you is that we're going to live our happily ever after."

The toothy smile you gave him had his hearts doing jumps, and he knew he had made the right decision, despite the fact that it wouldn't be easy at all to do what you two needed to escape life as you knew.

"That good enough for you?" He teased.

"Perfect," you laughed.

Read the one where August is your bodyguard and neither of you are too happy about it here!