lespapapas

[sandmandaddy69]

[hail5tan]

Shorts that say this on the ass

[lesbianralzarek]

as funny as top/bottom/switch jokes can be, i wanna drill into queer kids heads that those terms are 1) not myers-briggs personality types 2) likely not something you know about yourself if you’re a virgin 3) inherently sexual and therefore 4) not something adults should assign you, even as a joke

[pink-wisp]

:o oh ace here and… i always thought this was like a shy(bottom) to courageous(top) scale

[lesbianralzarek]

i am so sorry that everyone lied to you. bottom = someone who prefers to be penetrated when having penetrative sex, top = someone who prefers to penetrate others when having penetrative sex, versatile/vers (not switch, oops. that’s a bdsm term) = no strong preference for either (or a preference for changing roles every once in a while)

these have nothing to do with being dominant or submissive, and no bearing on your behavior outside of sex (unless, i guess, you wanna make it a personality trait? for some reason?). someone can be a submissive top if that’s what suits them best. not pointing fingers at anyone in particular, but somewhere along the line people got it in their heads that these terms are gender roles 2.0 and i want an apology

[uuddlrlrba-start]

Hmm…. It was my understanding that top/bottom referred more to who was in the most control of the situation. I.E. a person with a vagina who loves being penetrated, by being on top, being dominant, and controlling their own body would still be a top, even though they are receiving penetration. Also, not all sex requires penetration, so a person being dominant and aggressive while making out, who is controlling the situation, with no penetration could also be considered a top.

[lesbianralzarek]

im gonna be blunt here. the word for that is not “top”, its “dominant”. thats the actual terminology and also the word that you use yourself multiple times. i know that not all sex requires penetration. this is why i specify “penetrative sex” and not just “sex”. these words describe penetrative sex, so you wouldnt use them to describe non-penetrative sex 

also, if a post is saying “this is a common misunderstanding” and then explaining it, you really ought to look up whether or not youve been fed misinfo before suggesting that op is wrong. googling “top gay definition” will give you an answer without even having to click a link that straight up says you are incorrect 

it also has nothing to do with control or who is physically on top or bottom (via wikipedia) 

this sounds mean, but i have no idea how to explain it nicely. please do any amount of research before saying im wrong 

[buff-chickpea]

I’m not speaking to the content of the first post here, more the discussion of what top and bottom ‘actually’ mean.  I really sympathise with the desire to not have crossover between the meanings of submissive/dominant and top/bottom (if that’s what the op is in part expressing); I think the general cultural conflation of e.g. ‘being penetrated’ and ‘being submissive’ (and indeed the broader association between sexual acts and personality traits) has harmed me by making it harder for me to figure out what I want, I’m guessing that means it’s bad for a non-negligible number of other people, the conflation of these terms probably sometimes actively perpetuates this harm, and presumably sometimes it’s just harder for people to communicate clearly about their desires when the meanings of words are ambiguous. But I think there’s a lot of value and importance in acknowledging how people actually use words to describe themselves, and my experience is that in (gestures vaguely) queer online spaces I hang out in, when top and bottom are used to mean something other than (or additional to) preferences re penetration I don’t think it’s a ‘common misunderstanding,’ it seems to me like the emotionally meaningful reality of how people think and talk about their identities and desires. I think identity often feels precious and meaningful to people, it goes deeper than ‘oh I’ll just use a different word, cool,’ and so it seems important to me that the way people use these words is acknowledged (I think using top and bottom to indicate preferences unrelated to penetration also has quite a long history in the bdsm community that I know almost nothing about so I’m really just expressing my uninformed emotional reaction here). For example an Autostraddle survey on tops and bottoms of several thousand people reflects top and bottom being very commonly used to mean more than ‘who prefers to be penetrated’.  “The most consistent descriptor in the open-form answer descriptions was that of the top being “in control” or “in charge” of the sexual encounter, or otherwise “leading the way” or being the “more active” or “dominant” partner. “You primarily enact, direct, or conduct the activities,” said one butch top. “Someone who is the team captain for the activity,” wrote one bisexual top, adding: “Someone who often initiates or lovingly takes control. Someone who is taking on the responsibility of giving the other party or parties a very good time.”

“Emotional leadership labor trumps physical action here,” wrote a queer femme dominatrix regarding her definition of “top.” “Often a top is the one fucking, etc. but a top can be licked or fucked or whatever if they are controlling the scene.” https://www.autostraddle.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-a-top-or-a-dominant-in-lesbian-sex-425912/

One blissful bottom on our survey described bottoming as “one who follows the lead of a more dominant partner during sex and/or the partner who is usually on the receiving end of sex acts, although since queer/lesbian sex is so varied, that can be more the feeling of being the one getting fucked than a specific role in a specific sex act.”

https://www.autostraddle.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-a-bottom-or-submissive-in-lesbian-sex-424288/

Also, I mean, the wikipedia article in the screenshot literally says ‘these terms...might also describe broader sexual identities and social roles.’ And the wikipedia article on BDSM says: “The terms top, bottom, and switch are used to describe roles for the duration of a sexual act or they may more broadly denote a psychological, social, or sexual identity, or indicate one's usual preference.[1] The terms top, bottom, and switch are also [sic] used in BDSM, with slightly different meanings. In both contexts, the terms top and bottom refer to dominant or submissive, or active and passive roles, not to who is physically on top in a particular sexual act.” tldr; I think it’s complicated, and there’s usually interesting and important nuance in why people use the words they do and I feel sad about what is (imo) the reality of how people talk not being spoken for.

[buff-chickpea]

Jonathan Unleashed by Meg Rosoff review – an exuberant adult fiction debut

In the first book for grownups from the author of How I Live Now, an unhappy adman needs life advice from his canine companions

[buff-chickpea]

[srsfunny]

They’re Trying

[lilnasxvevo]

the other day, my dad was driving and i was in the passenger seat and we were talking about, i think poetry, and we were talking about war poets and poets we like whose names we always forget, and john gillespie magee, jr. fits into both those categories for my dad

and he said “oh, what’s that one poem–does it start, something about ‘to break the bonds of earth?’ can you look that one up for me?”

“found it, i think. ‘high flight,’ john gillespie magee jr.?”

“yes! that’s it. i haven’t read that in a long time. could you read it to me?”

so i started to read it and about halfway through i started getting choked up and i knew i wasn’t going to be able to finish reading, but i managed to read all the way up through “the high untrespassed sanctity of space” before i physically couldn’t keep reading. 

it’s one of the most beautiful poems i’ve ever read, and that’s one of the reasons why i got choked up (read it out loud and see if the alliteration doesn’t get to you), but i think really the main reason was that i knew that john gillespie magee, jr., was a pilot in the royal canadian air force who was killed in world war ii when he was only 19 years old. nineteen. i am currently almost two years older than he will ever be. imagine being a freshman or sophomore in college who can write like this. imagine being that young and already having a soul this beautiful.

maybe it’s dumb, but my dad says that this poem is one of the best arguments against war he’s ever seen, all by itself. 

[buff-chickpea]

Box Breathing: A Breathing Technique to Focus the Mind

Learning to control the breath is one of the most powerful (and free!) neurohacks we have for improving concentration, managing stress, developing optimal health, and guiding our spiritual advancement.

[clownasaurus-deactivated2020100]

Hermione Granger: *comes from muggle world and discovers magic*

Hermione Granger: *witnesses humans transfigure into animals*

Hermione Granger: *time-travels multiple times per day*

Professor Trelawney: “I can prophesize the future.”

Hermione Granger: “Bullshit. That can’t be possible. Fuck you.”

[kaldwinss]

#you gotta draw the line somewhere #you gotta draw the fucking line in the sand dude #you gotta make a statement #you gotta look inside yourself and say #what am i willing to put up with today #not fucking this    

[rachellephant]

anyways hermione is a cutthroat bitch and her demonizing divination is due to the fact that she literally #cannot with emotional forms of magic. quidditch? which requires an emotional partnership of trust with the broom? nope. divination? which requires an emotional openness and willingness to forego logical conclusion at the whims of fate? are u fuckin kidding me. patronuses? which require not just technical skill but also a deep connection with your own emotional core? uhhhhh we’ll just let harry handle that one.

movie!hermione, w/ her advanced emotional intelligence and absolute willingness to meet each and every emotional need the boys have, should have of course been good at emotional magics like divination. shes fucking superwoman. but book!hermione? who destroyed a girls face without mercy because she ratted out the DA? who erased her parents memories so she could fight in a war? who solved dumbledores’ mysteries using ancient runes, an art that is practically the math of magic? book!hermione will destroy you and she will do it armed with the cold hard facts and the cold hard facts alone. book!hermione doesn’t give a shit. instead of getting a regular pet, book!hermione was drawn to a magical cat who is self-serving and intellectual and helped her gather clues rather than serving as an emotional companion. i mean fck.

full offense but hermione is so hardcore and logic-driven and she literally could give a SHIT about ur feelings

[strictlybecca]

@lisapanda

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

In book 1 when their major plot puzzle is character establishing to set us up for the series, Hermione straight-up explains to Harry that she kicks butt because she has logic (which is apparently rare for wizards) and Harry kicks butt because he has emotional understanding and heart. (Ron is unconscious for this conversation and doesn’t get a speech, but presumably he kicks butt for being the only one of them with an ounce of common fucking sense.)

[lesbianism-that-sucks]

also remember when lavander was SOBBING bc her pet just died and hermione yelled at her for believing in divination? yeah, she sucks at feelings

[yesterdaysprint]

Goldsboro Weekly Argus, North Carolina, November 28, 1901

[genderqueerpositivity]

Pronouns: heesh/himmer/hizzer

Folks have been creating new pronouns since 1901 at least.

[buff-chickpea]

Are God and Nature then at strife, That Nature lends such evil dreams? So careful of the type she seems, So careless of the single life.

Tennyson

[buff-chickpea]

Buy Stories for Boys Who Dare to be Different by Ben Brooks, Quinton Winter (ISBN: 9781787471986) from Amazon's Book Store. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders.

[smogft]

would you guys like to see the most unique rare and blessed picture i’ve ever taken?

[smogft]

his day now

[pumpkan]

Me: waiting for any form of public transport

Rain: starts

Some deep dark part of my brain that never forgot the first night vale episode: 👀🕐🚌🌧🌧🕐🕐🚌🌧

[different-landscapes]

by Shimunia Art

[rosetintedkaleidoscope]

@gruntledandhinged 

[peanutworm]

You, an intellectual: 9+7=16

Me, with ADHD: if you take 1 from 9 and give it to 7 thats 8+8 and 8x2 is 16

Someone, usually a Teacher: NOT LIKE THAT YOU HEATHEN

[chiefmilesobrien]

This is literally how I would have done it

[thewildonion]

9 is a hungry bitch and takes one from 7, making it 10+6=16

[peanutworm]

VALID

[thetransintransgenic]

Also though like speaking as a Math, noticing that 9+7 is (8+1) + (8-1) also totally works for this and is also extremely useful for other things?

Like, when you’re doing 9x7, sure you can do it by tens and notice that it’s (10-1)x7=70-7=63, but you can also notice it’s (8+1)x(8-1), which because of ~algebra~ (but most people just remember it) is 82 - 1 = 64-1=63.

And like sometimes one way is easier or harder, and always it’s useful to be able to do it two ways to check if you’re not sure.

So like, if you have a Method, that Works, then absolutely just Use It And Blah Unto The Bad Teachers Who Say “no but instead” rather than “yes and”.

[musketry]

Wait, isn’t this what Common Core is?

[etirabys]

To put this in personal terms, my six-year-old might do something appallingly horrible and selfish and age appropriate to one of my three-year-old’s toys. As a parent you swoop in and say, “This is not acceptable and you cannot do that.” But just as I (or my wife who is a clinical nurse-psychologist, and so, pathetically, we actually speak like this at home) am saying this, the other will say, “He can’t help it; he doesn’t have a frontal cortex yet,” to which the first inevitably responds, “But how else is he going to get one?" 

Robert Sapolsky

[muck-raker-deactivated20181222]

“I VIOLATE ARTICLE 27, SEC. 553-4 OF THE MARYLAND ANNOTATED CODE SAFELY, OFTEN, AND EXTREMELY WELL,” Second National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights, Washington, D.C., October 11, 1987. Photo © Exakta.

Sections 553 and 554 of Article 27 of the Maryland Code prohibited sodomy (punishable with a sentence of “not less than one year nor more than ten years”), oral sex, and “any other unnatural or perverted sexual practice with any other person.”

via @lgbt_history