Vent blog

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this is a vent blog. There will be triggering/offensive topics discussed, such as:

🔆=still working on/suffering from

🌙= trying to heal from

🕊️=fully healed

Religious trauma🌙

Transphobia 🔆

Homophobia🔆

Suicide 🔆

Self harm🔆

Family issues 🔆

Depression🔆

Anxiety 🔆

Disassociating🔆

Self-hatred🔆

Starving🌙

No, I'm not making this blog for attention. No I'm not looking for comfort.

[bugs-not-good]

Happy means doing what I should see? Look, I’m smiling cause I’m good :>

My knees are sore from ‘prayer’ yeah my favorite shape is square happy means doing what I should <3

[traumaticchild]

*bottles up emotions* this coping shits easy

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‘don’t start’

‘stop being a brat’

‘take your mouthy little ass to your room’

‘don’t ask me for anything if you’re just gonna complain’

‘you’re rude, you know that, right?’

I wonder who I get it from

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’you’re so funny’

thanks, I have no memories of my childhood besides avoiding mirrors at church after a lesson on how we’re made in the image of christ

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you only love me because you gave birth to me

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Boy in the mirror

I can’t look at the boy who sits across from me in the mirror.

his cold stare only reminds me of the fact I’ll never be who I wanna be.

I’ll never be the sweet, charismatic , pretty boy I try to mimic

He says I’ll never be anywhere close to my friends.

he tells me I’m not a real man for crying.

calls my big, arched nose ugly, and tells me I should just cut it off.

He calls me a waste of space, a waste of human life, a waste of air

he tells me no one is more undeserving of love than the ugly mass of fat, muscle, flesh, and blood that is me.

he calls my writing and art terrible. Says I don’t deserve to hold that pen

Sometimes I want to break the mirror, in hopes of silencing him.

in hopes of getting him out of my head.

but I never do.

because I know he’s right.

I know I’m ugly

I know I’m annoying

I know I’m a waste

I know I’m a fragile excuse for a person.

he’s always been a reminder why I don’t love myself

[mxxnlxve11]

seeing a parent devolve into the person they didn’t want to be is so heartbreaking :/

[bugs-not-good]

you forget it all yet remember so vividly

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lowks afraid one of my friends has a crush on me (I have a partner and have no romantic interest in them, I’ll call them H since that’s their initial)

if you have any advice I beg you please tell me

H gets a lot closer to me than they do to other ppl

They’re nicer to me than they are to their other friends

js generally rlly protective(tell other people off for being rude to me)

asks a bunch of questions abt me

I’m the only person they let hug them

more attentive to me

I’ve asked another friend of mine abt this and he said he sees it

I might be crazy

[bugs-not-good]

need him to call me ‘kiddo’ in a soft, loving voice and hug me so tight I can’t breathe

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oh golly I sure do love when I have an emotional breakdown and regress back really young and js have a tantrum

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fuck this I’m relapsing

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anyone else have that friend that just feels terrible to talk to bc their life is just so bad and you know you can’t do anything to help them

[tinstol-archive]

When someone is abused by religion and thus turns away from religion, the tragedy is that they were abused, not that they are no longer religious, not that they don’t see your religion in the “correct” way.

[speakingspirals]

i hate talking about my problems.

feels like i'm forcing them to care about me.

it's so embarrassing.

[bugs-not-good]

When I think I'm getting better everything just gets worse