virtuous common man

[rmanovas]

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[bullyforbarricades]

"Oh, my heart is numb But with you I feel again Yeah, with you I can feel again"

[bullyforbarricades]

Hello, Tumblr.  

I thought I might drop in to tell you that I am officially a newlywed.

Help me.  I am just so. Damned. Happy.

Thank you, Christophe, for changing absolutely everything.

[bullyforbarricades]

...Off for the night. For reasons. Toodles.

[bullyforbarricades]

claustrophilie

First you make me swoon a bit with your consideration. I know you do this for no one else.

Then you refer to Wendy as a "dumb whore," which is offensive, but I don't want to correct you.  Because I know why you resent her. I am on your side in this.  ...I hate that I caused you so much pain.  She isn't worth it.

...Then you dump YOGHURT on me.

Ugh. You are an animal of your own.

[claustrophilie]

Hmph.  Babies.

The first present I opened last Christmas was a pen knife. I was so excited, I used it to cut open all my other presents. — Shame about the puppy.

[bullyforbarricades]

[bullyforbarricades]

claustrophilie

Kyle and I find that to be quite racist.

[claustrophilie]

claustrophilie:

A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says, “Show me it’s true what they say about black men.”

So he stabs her and steals her purse.

[matchapizzas]

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[bullyforbarricades]

"I say that we're right in the heart of it A love only we understand I will bend every light in this city And make sure they're shining on you"

[bullyforbarricades]

Off to finish up the packing and corral the beast.  Goodbye to my home country, hello where-ever-the-hell-we-end-up  Goodnight, comrades.

[bullyforbarricades]

pxshover:

Don’t worry for a moment! I’m preoccupied watching Disney movies, anyhow.

That sounds wonderful, I’ll do that tomorrow when everyone is awake! Thank you very much for the suggestion. I seem to have caught it for playing my violin outside every day. You get what’s coming to you, I suppose! Oh, my goodness! Congratulations! In the very least, it’ll be.. Memorable. I’m hoping to work up the nerve to say something to my own crush, soon :) …Who is tuckered out next to me. ..Is the lizard alright? 

  A violin player, hm?  Don't be discouraged! Your dedication to the skill is most commendable.

Thank you!  We are certainly thrilled!

Good luck to you in your love-life endeavours.  When they awaken, perhaps an honest soliloquy reciting your feelings, yes?

Mack is all right.  He is unhappy about all the fuss, but unharmed.  Big bastard could not be harmed if I hit him with a shovel.  It's his own damned fault for gulping down my proposal, in any case.

[claustrophilie]

Mmmmmmph, I will die a happy man.

[bullyforbarricades]

You will not die. I shan't allow it. Never.

[bullyforbarricades]

pxshover:

Hello, my friend! It’s so nice to talk to someone from my country! :D

Oh, I’m so glad you’re having a great day! I, myself, seemed to have caught a cold. But, that’s okay! Said yes? May I be so nosy and ask who said yes to what? :)

Apologies for the late reply!  Christophe and I are packing. 

A cold, unfortunate.  One of those inescapable things, I suppose.  Might I suggest hot water and lemon?  The steam is lovely for clogged sinuses, at least.

Of course you may be nosy, Peaches.  Yes, as in I proposed to Christophe--erm. Sort of.  His lizard ate the ring and when Christophe coaxed him to vomit it back up...he accepted the implied inquiry.

Not ideal.  But I am happy.

[bullyforbarricades]

Hello, my friends.  It's a bit of an awkward moment in my life for pleasantries, but my warmest welcome none-the-less!

I see at least one fellow Brit here.  Hello then in particular, Phillip Pirrup.

At least it's a monumentous day. He said yes!

[bullyforbarricades]

Plan:

Set up a nest of blankets and pillows beside the fireplace in the living room.

Play soft classical music.

Hand-feed boyfriend expensive delicacies picked up from the most expensive caterer in three cities.

Tell boyfriend that I want to spend the rest of my life with him and left fall asleep on me the way he likes.

Write "Will you marry on his hand" as he sleeps, and slip on the ring.

Watch his brilliant expression when he wakes up and notices it.

  Reality:

THROW ALL BELONGINGS IN SUITCASES TO ESCAPE AN (ALLEGED) HOMICIDE SCENE.

CURSE BOYFRIEND AT THE TOP OF LUNGS FOR TWENTY STRAIGHT MINUTES.

RESTRAIN SELF FROM MURDERING HIS DAMN LIZARD.

WATCH HIM FEED THE FANCY FOOD TO THE LIZARD IN ATTEMPTS TO MAKE HIM VOMIT.

UNABLE TO ENJOY HIS "YES" BECAUSE HE IS COVERED IN LIZARD-SICK AND EVERYTHING IS RUINED.

[bullyforbarricades]

I WILL NOT CARD THROUGH LIZARD EXCREMENT.  I WILL NOT MAKE CHRISTOPHE'S MONSTROUS, MEAT EATING CREATURE VOMIT AND THEN SIFT THROUGH THE HALF-DIGESTED CHUNKS OF VILE-NESS.

I STILL NEED TO PACK, MY PROPOSAL IS RUINED, AND IF WE DON'T LEAVE SOON, WE WILL SPEND OUR DAYS IN JAIL BECAUSE OF A STUPID SOCIAL MEDIA WEBSITE.

THIS IS AGONY.

I LIVE IN HELL.

POPULATION: ME.

...DAMN IT ALL I WILL SIMPLY BUY A NEW RING.  IT IS NOT WORTH IT, I SAY!

[bullyforbarricades]

claustrophilie:

  If you think I will not go in after it, you are wrong.

Falling in love is an act of masochism.  Make no mistake, comrades.

...Oh dear.

Um. Conflict.  In my frustration and hurry to put our belongings into suitcases, I may have dropped your ring.

And if...I'm not seeing things, your lizard swallowed it.

...I wish I were kidding.

[bullyforbarricades]

claustrophilie:

WE ARE NOT LEAVING MACK’S THINGS HERE YOU ASSHOLe.

I have a fu kin g bullet in my le g and so man y goddamn stitches fro m the stab wounds, you are the worst boyfriend.

Snoot y princesses and their snippy bullshit, I will get us tickets, there is only so much I can do right now, stop being a brAT. 

Do you SEE what I put up with, Tumblr?  Unbelievable.

I'm tossing this ring straight into the Thames.  And likely Christophe will follow straight after it.