Burn the Bitches

The name's Hansel and my sister, Gretel, and me are witch hunters. We've been in this line of work since we were just kids. So, trust us when we say 'we know what we're doing' because I promise you we have a better idea of how to handle this then you fuckers do. M!A: >> This is an independent, multiverse Hansel from the movie Hansel & Gretel: witch hunters. Feel free to interact with Hansel but just know that if you're RPing with him please be aware that the tread is most likely placed in his time unless said otherwise. I do not own the character, Jeremy Renner, or any picture or GIFs posted here unless otherwise stated.<<

[it-needs-magic-hasmoved-blog]

A Half-Dozen People Think You Mad:

“And what is it you lot want?”

[burningwitches-blog]

"I'm looking for a witch, was told she was spotted around here recently. Have you heard any news?"

[burningwitches-blog]

Winter Fucking Wonderland I @ gretelshessohotrightnow

[gretelshessohotrightnow-blog]

Gretel trudged along side her brother, keeping her head down to shield her skin from the cold. Though the huntress despised this weather she suffered in silence, knowing complaining would only grant extra teasing from Hansel. She hugged her arms around herself, tucking them into her jacket in a nearly useless attempt to avoid frostbite.

The brunette stepped onto the ice cautiously, taking slow hesitant steps to avoid falling in or losing her balance. When Hansel hit the ice she jumped back trying to avoid any possible ice cracks. When everything was deemed safe she laughed, smirking as he looked up at her from the ice. 

She tried to move over to help him up, only to slip herself, landing flat on her face. “Fuck…” she mumbled, turning and looking at her brother. “Apparently there’s a village out in this god forsaken frozen wasteland.” She sighed, running her hand through her hair. 

“Get your ass moving,” she teased, tucking her hands back protectively under her jacket.

[burningwitches-blog]

Looking out over the frozen landscape, he scanned the direction he was heading. All that he could see was what were most likely fields covered in snow, bare trees along with some pine, and then just mountain after mountain. The sun had even been blocked by the clouds, no luck warming up by the sun’s rays. Making a fire was out of the question since the time of day was a sloppy guess in this cloud coverage and how much longer till they found the town was a mystery. All the trails has been snowed over and all they were going on were the directions to keep true North and they should run into something then. He hatted those kinds of directions.

Hansel started again to cross the ice, being more couscous as he went. “Why the hell would anyone want to live here? I can understand a fucking witch wanting to, I mean they are fucked in the head to begin with but actual people?” He groaned as he shook his head at the thought of living in weather like this daily.

He took a glance over at Gretel, as they made it more than half way across the patch of ice, noticing the shaking of her body. Hansel could have practically yelled at her for being so stupid but then again when has he ever yelled at his little sister? Unbuttoning his coat  as he took a step closer to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder’s,pulling her to his side and under his coat with him. “What do you think you’re doing? If you freeze out here I’m going to have to fight that witch by myself and with you frozen who is going to buy my round of drinks when I get the winning kill?” he teased as he leaned his cheek on the top of her head.

[gretelshessohotrightnow-blog]

Gretel let out a grateful groan, wrapping one arm around his waist, holding him close to her to warm up. She felt a little bad, Hansel was always taking care of her, ever since they were kids. She was always just ‘The Little Sister’. Gretel pressed closer to him, now feeling thankful that she was smaller than her brother. Both fit under his coat easily even as they began to wobble across the ice. 

“S-Since W-When do y-you get th-the wi-win-winning-g k-kill?” she stuttered, her teeth chattering harshly. She closed her mouth tightly, silently pleading that there would be some shelter on the other side of this fucking lake. They near the shore on the other side as the wind picks up, the huntress’s hair whipping both of them in the face. She grabs at it, wrapping it up tighter and securing it to her head. “Shouldnt be too much farther…” she said, slight uncertainty in her voice. 

The mountain loomed over head, a shadow beginning to be cast over them. Small chunks of ice and snow pecked against her face, her cheeks and nose now left red and freezing. She squinted through the white specks, looking around. “Do you see any shelter?” she yelled, trying to speak over the roaring wind.

[burningwitches-blog]

Things were going well. The ice was holding and now that they were sharing body heat, instead of trying to maintain their own, the cold was not tolerable. There was only one downfall to the fact of being stuck so close to Gretel and that was mostly the winds fault that he got struck in the face with her hair. He even grunted with surprise when he got slapped across the face with it but he shook it off and continued across the ice like nothing happened. After all they were both tired from all the walking and pissed off since the cold was getting on their nerves.

It was not much longer till they made it off the ice onto what they were pretty much sure was solid ground. They would have covered more distance if they were not huddled together but it could not be helped. Once they made it closer the tree line he stopped, making Gretel pause with him. "Uhh." he let out as he scanned in between the trees; trying to see pas the the fresh snow the wind picked up.

After a few more minutes of observation Hansel was about to give up and just say he noticed nothing but a small flicker of orange caught his eye from the right.  He stared at it until he caught the outline of a cottage. "I see something over there but if it's friendly I have no fucking idea." He looked over at his sister now. "You want to give it a shot anyways? If it is a witch at least we can kill her and stay in her cottage for the night.:"

[anandyakesuma]

[burningwitches-blog]

OOC: sorry i was not on yesterday and will only be on for a few hours now. though i will get to my replies now. just like this post so i know who i owe besides who i have in my drafts.

[teenagemonty-rotg-deactivated20]

[alcoholictonystark-deactivated2]

//HE TALKS?! Actually that makes sense since he’s a demon but no, noooo no I cannot take a demon sheep right now, he’s your problem! HAHA HAVE FUN COLLECTING DEAD HOBOS :D :p

[burningwitches-blog]

 OOC: Great. Now I have to go out in 20 degree weather to collect dead hobos. Just what I wanted to do with my evening. >.>  

Would you take him if I told you his name was ShamWOW? you know  cuz he is a sheep and his wool just absorbs stuff 

[alcoholictonystark-deactivated2]

//OH MY GOD. Maaaybe…no no I can’t too much work. You’re stuck with him XD wear a couple layers you’ll be fiiiine ;p

[burningwitches-blog]

OOC: Fine. Well, if you see a weird person walking the sidewalks with a wheel barrel and has like three coats on it's probably me. So, do me a favor and at least bring me a hot chocolate. 

[alcoholictonystark-deactivated2]

  //HE TALKS?! Actually that makes sense since he’s a demon but no, noooo no I cannot take a demon sheep right now, he’s your problem! HAHA HAVE FUN COLLECTING DEAD HOBOS :D :p

[burningwitches-blog]

 OOC: Great. Now I have to go out in 20 degree weather to collect dead hobos. Just what I wanted to do with my evening. >.>  

Would you take him if I told you his name was ShamWOW? you know  cuz he is a sheep and his wool just absorbs stuff 

[burningwitches-blog]

alcoholictonystark replied to your post: OOC:

//Good luck!

OOC: I think more than luck was needed. Since my sheep decided that headbutting sick people is funny.

It’s not funny by the way.

Nope.

Not at all.

Okay maybe just sorta.

[alcoholictonystark-deactivated2]

//LOL I find it hilarious 

[burningwitches-blog]

OOC:  In that case I’m mailing him to you. That way the two of you can go headbutt all the sickly people you want.

[alcoholictonystark-deactivated2]

//I wouldn’t mind doing this but where the fuck would I put a sheep? I don’t have room in my apartment for a dog let alone a sheep. WHAT DO SHEEP EVEN EAT?! I’m guessing human flesh and I just can’t go out killing people right now I have a job you know! 

[burningwitches-blog]

OOC: He is a great sleeping pal. Like a portable wool blanket for the winter. Just store him in your closet or bed. Demon sheep eat human flesh and since he is a demon you might need to quit your job and stalk up on dead hobos. 

Did I mention when he talks it sounds like serial killer's battle cry? 

[burningwitches-blog]

List of M!A's (feel free to add some!)

Rightful Ruler: The muse believes they are the heir to a throne but is being held back by ___ for one week. They will do anything and everything to overthrow the specified person, even going as far as to try to kill them.

Mysophobia: The muse is terrified of germs and everything dirty for ___.

Handle with Care: The muse will be overly emotional and will break down into tears for seemingly no reason whatsoever for the next 48 hours.

One Thing: The muse will be have a craving for a specific item, food, or person for the next ___.

Exhibitionism: The muse will want to have sex in very public places for the next 24 hours.

Anarchy: The muse will want to overthrow the general order of society for 3 days.

Baby be Mine: The muse will try to seduce the next five people they come across, whether through an ask or a rp.

Switcheroo: The muse will trade places with ___ (has to be approved by the other rp'er) and assume their role and personality for one week.

Fountain of Youth: The muse will have magically discovered a spring that rolls back the muse's age. The effects last for four days, and the age shall be specified by the anon.

Aglet: The muse will spew little-known-facts for ___.

Secret Identity: The muse will become a superhero/villain for the next ___.

Paranoia: The muse will think there's somebody (may or may not be specified) stalking them for two weeks.

Junky: Muse will have an extreme addiction to something, whether it be a drug, alcohol, food, sex, or whatever else, for five days. The addiction shall be specified by the anon.

Hot and Cold: The muse will have uncontrollable mood swings for ___.

Crossplay: The muse shall be genderbent for the next 3 days.

Hiccup: Muse will be drunk for six hours, heavy slur and obnoxious hiccups included.

Bloodplay: The muse will have an unhealthy obsession with being hurt and caused to bleed. They will beg to be hurt and go into a perpetual state of arousal at the mere sight of blood. The only way to break the spell is through having a very, very rough session of sex.

[burningwitches-blog]

Winter Fucking Wonderland I @ gretelshessohotrightnow

[gretelshessohotrightnow-blog]

Gretel trudged along side her brother, keeping her head down to shield her skin from the cold. Though the huntress despised this weather she suffered in silence, knowing complaining would only grant extra teasing from Hansel. She hugged her arms around herself, tucking them into her jacket in a nearly useless attempt to avoid frostbite.

The brunette stepped onto the ice cautiously, taking slow hesitant steps to avoid falling in or losing her balance. When Hansel hit the ice she jumped back trying to avoid any possible ice cracks. When everything was deemed safe she laughed, smirking as he looked up at her from the ice. 

She tried to move over to help him up, only to slip herself, landing flat on her face. “Fuck…” she mumbled, turning and looking at her brother. “Apparently there’s a village out in this god forsaken frozen wasteland.” She sighed, running her hand through her hair. 

“Get your ass moving,” she teased, tucking her hands back protectively under her jacket.

[burningwitches-blog]

Looking out over the frozen landscape, he scanned the direction he was heading. All that he could see was what were most likely fields covered in snow, bare trees along with some pine, and then just mountain after mountain. The sun had even been blocked by the clouds, no luck warming up by the sun's rays. Making a fire was out of the question since the time of day was a sloppy guess in this cloud coverage and how much longer till they found the town was a mystery. All the trails has been snowed over and all they were going on were the directions to keep true North and they should run into something then. He hatted those kinds of directions.

Hansel started again to cross the ice, being more couscous as he went. "Why the hell would anyone want to live here? I can understand a fucking witch wanting to, I mean they are fucked in the head to begin with but actual people?" He groaned as he shook his head at the thought of living in weather like this daily.

He took a glance over at Gretel, as they made it more than half way across the patch of ice, noticing the shaking of her body. Hansel could have practically yelled at her for being so stupid but then again when has he ever yelled at his little sister? Unbuttoning his coat  as he took a step closer to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder's,pulling her to his side and under his coat with him. "What do you think you're doing? If you freeze out here I'm going to have to fight that witch by myself and with you frozen who is going to buy my round of drinks when I get the winning kill?" he teased as he leaned his cheek on the top of her head.

[burningwitches-blog]

alcoholictonystark replied to your post: OOC:

//Good luck!

OOC: I think more than luck was needed. Since my sheep decided that headbutting sick people is funny.

It’s not funny by the way.

Nope.

Not at all.

Okay maybe just sorta.

[alcoholictonystark-deactivated2]

//LOL I find it hilarious 

[burningwitches-blog]

OOC:  In that case I'm mailing him to you. That way the two of you can go headbutt all the sickly people you want.

[burningwitches-blog]

alcoholictonystark replied to your post: OOC:

//Good luck!

OOC: I think more than luck was needed. Since my sheep decided that headbutting sick people is funny.

It's not funny by the way.

Nope.

Not at all.

Okay maybe just sorta.

[burningwitches-blog]

OOC:

[doublejoesevendeactivated]

[daughterfrompurgatory-blog]

Family Businesses

“Well. Hello Hello Hello” Emma said with a grin, humming out at the man some. “I’m Emma, what’s your name?” she asked with a widening grin

[burningwitches-blog]

Hansel looked the girl over, a habit from all the years of hunting, before giving her a nod. "Hi. Name's Hansel." he said as he crossed his arms. "Haven't heard of any witch's near by have you?"

[brokenbleu-blog]

1 entered his ship

[brokenbleu-blog]

  — “You don’t say? I reckon you are good at hunting them?” 

“You should stay, have a drink.”

[burningwitches-blog]

"I am. Me and my sister are the best witch hunters out there- fuck."

"I can't stay I have to find Gretel. Damn witch."

[brokenbleu-blog]

1 entered his ship

burningwitches started following you

[brokenbleu-blog]

—- May I ask what the hell you are doing on my ship?

[burningwitches-blog]

"Fuck if I know. Was hunting a witch a minute ago now I'm on a damn ship."