zoia 🦋

No love when you hold me

[buttermintmwah]

The leaves are changing and my friends have too

But it is okay because as I love the transition from green to orange I love my dear ones too

They have no requirements to be my friends just that they are

They exist and I shall love them

[buttermintmwah]

How do I explain what I feel for you when love does not begin to encapsulate the feelings which I hold for you?

How do I tell you thinking of you makes my heart constrict?

How do I explain when you’re close and kissing my head, I feel like I am home?

Are there words to describe the wave of emotions I feel when you cross my mind?

I smile when I think of you

My heart swells with joy

You make me feel like I am home, and that is quite hard

A third country immigrant feels at home in your arms

A home she was always unable to find

She now realises were your arms all along

[buttermintmwah]

I can’t be there for my brother’s birthday

Nor can I be for my boyfriend’s or best friend’s

I can’t be with my family for festivals that celebrate them

Nor can I be with my friends for friendship day

At least not all of them

The people who make me most myself are the ones I am apart from

Who am I without you? The chambers of my heart echo of you

You cut your pizza in four pieces and I wish I was there to watch as you eat, so handsome (bf)

You love chicken, but you are sick I wish I could be there to make you soup as you lay in bed and relax (bff)

You are in Bangalore struggling with food, I’d send you on a date with your girlfriend as I make food for your next weeks (bff)

Most of the people I love are far. Where do I send their love? How do I convey it?

How do I show you I love you without being there to do so

[buttermintmwah]

Haven’t written in a bit so here it goes:

Lay your head on my chest, listen to my heartbeat, it’s yours, it beats for you.

When I listen to yours, can you say it beats for me?

Love doesn’t encapsulate what I feel, I’ll kiss you everywhere including your heart so you understand what I feel.

sorry for this being bad haven’t edited in a bit it’s 2am and this came out raw

[buttermintmwah]

And when my ashes are spilt they will spell your name

[buttermintmwah]

Why do we wait for destiny?

I love you

So why must we wait for approval?

Baando tera qismat meri dupatta se

Force our souls together

And in our next life I shall kneel before you

You are my faith, my religion

Dare I say my God

[buttermintmwah]

Your words are my scripture

And your feet a temple

[buttermintmwah]

I want to rip out your veins and tie them to mine

I want to fight the fates and oracles who say we can’t be together

But what’s the use when your heart pumps for another

[buttermintmwah]

The fates have sealed our destiny

You & I

We’re meant to be almost perfect

I can almost taste your lips

Almost feel your touch

I am almost yours

As you are almost mine

It is love

But we are too far apart

I wish you would stay

[lunamonchtuna]

— Rachel Mennies, from The Naomi Letters "April 18, 2017" (via lunamonchtuna)

[archetype-femme-fatale-deactiva]

cycles of yearning

[thoughtkick]

“When a person tells you you hurt them, you don’t get to decide you didn’t.”

— Louis C.K.

[buttermintmwah]

I will memorise every vein in your body

The diameter

The length

The position

So when I drink your blood

I know where to bite to taste your love

[buttermintmwah]

Do you call her princess too?

Do you do the things we did with her?

Do you think of me when you listen to love songs?

Do you worry for her more than me?

Am I going insane thinking of you with someone else?

Am I unable to get it out of my mind?

I’m Insane

Insane

Jaan uska haath mat lena

Please

Please

Meri pakad

Am I more yours than you are

mine?

[buttermintmwah]

Your name is poison

As I utter it

My chest constricts

[buttermintmwah]

When you talk about others I hold my fucking breath

[buttermintmwah]

Eros loved Psyche

As Achilles did Patroclus

But I worship you

I put you on a pedestal that I cannot reach

I cannot hold you

But I will kiss your feet

[buttermintmwah]

I want to crawl into your ribs & choke on your blood

The final time you may be mine

Let me hold your heart in my hands

Count how many beats it skips when you’re with her

Let me burn my oesophagus drinking your stomach acid

To dull the pain

The realisation

That you love her