A Stone's Throw From Nowhere @bwittanypicklespears - Tumblr Blog

Gonna chill out the rest of May and then change my entire life in June. Possibly July if that doesn't work out. Certainly no later than September or October.

buttpoems

sealedbeastnue

“what time is it” you ask, i pull out my 2.7 metric ton granite sundial and immediately crush both of your feet, I loudly announce “it is cloudy”

official-kircheis

where's that post of someone getting a letter from their bank like "dear keith we realise you're just taking the piss but every time you venmo your mate for 'al-qaeda training camp' we do have to, by law, fill out a lot of boring paperwork for the police so we'd really appreciate it if you'd stop doing that"

andmaybegayer

here it is

milanesa42

“The employees need a larger salary” “hmmmm large celery”

achillesinhighheels

Sleeping Muse

By Misha Frid

youngerfrankenstein

To put it very bluntly.

You will always make a better impact helping people who need it than trying to hurt people you think deserve it.

treasuredplanet

I think that when you're overstimulated you should appear kind of grayed out and no one should be able to interact with you like a locked character in a video game

mephistopheles

being single sucks [remembers that romantic love isnt the gleaming beacon of salvation that will fix the chasm within me] #mychasm #isupportmychasm [remembers not to trivialize my emotions] but it is painful to never have been deemed worthy of that kind of lasting love [remembers how many incels there are] but honestly you should be totally self-sufficient and never want anything ever [remembers that im evil] im evil

inthesensethat

conchacrumb

And for the lady, perhaps reassurance without having to ask for it?

the-big-mood

At Toba aquarium in Japan, after closing time, some clever little otter pups help their grandpa tidy up their toys. As a reward, he gives them ice cubes