C.A.D.E.T Corp.

The official C.A.D.E.T Corp. Archives 1988-2003; “Everybody loves a winner.”

[c-a-d-e-tcorp-official]

[ 3:32 P.M., JANUARY 9, 1998 — PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT: RECENT RELEASE ]

Hello, Space Cadets!

We’ve teased this release for a while, and after such an extended period of time keeping you all in the dark, We come bearing excited news!

C.A.D.E.T Corp’s long-awaited RPPC model is finally out, and earlier than anticipated! This launch includes C.A.D.E.T (PC), as well as, hopefully later on, Our older ███████████ model (PC), marginally reworked.

Due to the early release Our RPPC systems are still in a minor beta, which means for now We’ll only be selling a limited amount of them. Our 10.0 (beta) version is what will be coming with the current RPPC C.A.D.E.T model, with the 10.01 and later updates releasing upon the end of the beta releases.

With Our C.A.D.E.T model comes endless amounts of systematic customization—its own name, personality, languages, and so on—to ensure your personal comfort and optimal performance. These features will be expanded upon and fleshed out more in the later system updates. Later C.A.D.E.T releases will open up more opportunities for physical customization, such as monitor color, bodily color, and other features you will be able to interchange whenever you wish.

Again, C.A.D.E.T is in a temporarily LIMITED stock, so if you wish to get one for your own, better act fast!

Any damage your RPPC takes is refundable and replaceable via C.A.D.E.T Corp for up to 30 days, after which any damage will no longer be taken up on by C.A.D.E.T Corp. Please report any bugs or errors your RPPC potentially has or stumbles across to C.A.D.E.T Corp (contact information available below). C.A.D.E.T Corp does not take any responsibility for any potential leakage of data, discovered sentience of your RPPC, or complete data lossage.

Need help? Have a question? Contact Us here!:

EMAIL: ███████████████

CELL #: ██ ████████████

[c-a-d-e-tcorp-official]

Hey! Gabriel here.

Just wanted to send in a submission regarding the archives? Sorry if I'm overstepping any boundaries, I honestly don't mean to seem rude. I was just wondering about a few mundane things like, how were the archives organised? Was it just files and records that were stored or were there old models stored too? If so, did you have to take care of them or was that someone else's job? Oh, and a little lighter question, what would you say was your favourite Cadet Corp TM product, if any?

I just want to say, please don't feel pressured to answer any of these questions, it's purely out of my own curiosity, and again, I'm sincerely sorry if I've overstepped any boundaries, I'm not exactly used to this whole submissions thing yet. Thanks a bunch!

Warm regards,

Gabriel.

Mmm hey, Gabe. Can I call you that? Too late. Sorry. I don’t feel like editing this.

No worries. If it overstepped any boundaries, I wouldn’t answer it. I do like getting all of these questions though. I know I’ve probably already said this, but it’s nice knowing other people are interested in the companies skeletons like I am.

Organized in, what way? I mean, I have both; I’m practically drowning in old models, both of RPPC’s and their general computers, laptops, etc etc. But I also have plenty of files, like old public announcements, security camera footage, videos, recordings, emails, posters—you name it, and there’s a good chance I have it somewhere.

The company stored both, though I was a majority of that. It was half my job to do the archiving; I just happened to take what I wanted and, you know, archive a few things for my own needs. That they didn’t tell me to archive. That’s how I have what I do. The models I have currently were either given to me for testing, rendered useless/unusable (dumpster diving without the dumpster, essentially), had a defect, were to be sent to a dump, or I.. you know. Grabbed some souvenirs. Though I do grab what I can online. Models no one wants anymore, old posters I don’t have for whatever reason. Variants of models. What more does a man need? Though all the wires are starting to make the place feel kind of cramped; I’ve been meaning to go through them again. They pile up too fast.

I did used to look over the models, though. I handled some of the reports and returns; what to do with the models afterwards. I got a lot more calls after the RPPCs released. At least I got something out of it.

My favorite product? Mmmm. I’ve always liked the old SpaceStations. But the iNovels are cute too. iStar—whatever you wanna call them. All the same.

Thanks for reaching out. Sorry if I didn’t give you the answers you wanted. I was kind of multitasking doing this.

All the best,

-A

[c-a-d-e-tcorp-official]

all the cadet corp questions beside, how are you doing? i'm sure it must be stressful gathering all of this information, salvaging a dying company. though you do sound quite passionate about it.

on the topic of that- i've also been wondering, is molly doing alright aswell?

Hi there. That’s nice of you to ask, actually.

I guess, the stressful part isn’t really getting what I post. It’s kind of scary, sometimes, when I’m paranoid about, like, something going wrong. Cover being blown; no longer being anonymous. You know? I appreciate you asking. I’ve actually been doing better recently, fixing up a few old RPPCs—you know, I found an older model online recently? It’s real nice, pretty good condition. I’m sure you don’t care much, sorry; all in all, I’m not doing too bad.

Molly’s doing good, too. I’m sure she’d appreciate you asking; I’ll let her know later. She’s getting used to the little update i gave her. Less bugs and errors, I can only imagine it’s like… cracking your back or something, you know? That painful relief. I wouldn’t know though, I guess. Maybe I’ll ask them.

I appreciate this a lot. Thanks for checking in,

-A

[c-a-d-e-tcorp-official]

Hello! I've never sent in a submission before so forgive me if I'm overstepping for information, but I figure by the wording of your most recent post that the RPPC you're updating in that photograph is your personal one? If you don't mind my asking, what model is it?

Hope you had a good year!

Hey, no worries. Thanks for reaching out.

Yeah, she is. She’s one of the older versions, but she’s a SpaceStation 100. I call her Molly though. I just liked how it sounds. She’s not offline like that very often. I’m sure she’d appreciate your curiosity.

You too. Happy new years,

-A

[c-a-d-e-tcorp-official]

where do you get all this info about cadet corp from? it's just kind of been a question that's been burning at the back of my mind recently. like, looking at the archives, it looks like they would've been better off not being remembered at all? sorry if this sounds rude. i'm not good with words.

I like this one, hey.

I used to work there as I’ve stated a lot. I liked what they did and what they stood for originally and stuff… even if it was mostly just computers.

I took what I could. Like, duplicates. I saved everything I could, from announcements to meetings to the security camera clips to the recordings and private employee stuff. Everything and anything. They didn’t like it, long story short, so they stopped telling me things.

You’re probably right, haha. But I don’t care much for what they want. And you’re just fine with words, no need to apologize.

Thanks for reaching out,

-A

[c-a-d-e-tcorp-official]

Happy new years from us. I’m bad at taking photos, sorry.

[c-a-d-e-tcorp-official]

do you have aanyy idea on where the company's whole 'motto' is from? does it hold any meaning or is it just some random lame thing they came up with?

What, that “Everybody loves a winner” stuff?

I guess, on the surface level, it’s just making them look better against competitors. The buyer is a winner, and everyone loves a winner.

At the same time it was kind of made as the company’s job to make the buyer feel like a winner. The RPPCs especially, when they started rolling those out. That was their priority. Make your “owner” feel like a winner. Seemed weird to me, how they refer to them. But they’re never supposed to be sentient, you know? Bugs.

It actually used to be something else, but it slips my mind. They stopped telling me things after a while. Anyway, I don’t think it’s very noteworthy. Nothing you should bother thinking too hard about. A lot of company slogans are just as meaningless as they are effective.

Thanks for reaching out.

-A

[c-a-d-e-tcorp-official]

Happy holidays.

Here’s an old holiday promotional poster to celebrate. It never saw the sun since the release got delayed again (and also because this is pretty ugly), but i think it’s cool. Pretty odd looking for its time.

Sorry for my absence recently. Have fun, be safe.

- A

[c-a-d-e-tcorp-official]

heyy!!! hi! hope your having a nice evening, or morning or midday depending on your time zone i guess.

i have a request, im pretty shre thats how this works right? anyhow, i was just wondering if you’ve got any more on the ..s.10.05? or i guess either of the ones from one of your recent archive would be cool? i mean it doesnt really matter. sorry for any inconvenience !!!! really like whatyour doing though this stuffs pretty cool tonread :)!

if you cant do that indont wanna give you a pointless email soooo if you cant then maybe like, an older article/newspaper? idk i dont really know what things get archived for these kind of companies.

thanks a ton in advance!!!!!!!!!! have a good one!

all the best,

clover :)

Hey, Clover.

Sorry again for that archive, I’m unsure about what happened to that. It was fine when I posted it, I mean. But I’d be glad to try and satisfy your curiosity. I’m happy the company’s past is getting it’s deserved attention.

I don’t have a lot on the S.10.05 model specifically. C.A.D.E.T Corp. released a line of computers before RPPCs were even brought up called S.A.T.E.L.Y.T.E, which is a pretty stupid name in my opinion, for trying to shorten something and making it longer. They came out before C.A.D.E.T monitors were released.

S.A.T.E.L.Y.T.E RPPCs were meant to come out right after the C.A.D.E.T models beta release, but they never actually went through with that. Just… teased it. They made one, though—S.10.05, it was a prototype, like, the companies own personal one. S.A.T.E.L.Y.T.E Proto. Version 10.05; that’s all that stands for. It wasn’t much special.

That C.10.03 was probably just one of the C.A.D.E.T RPPC models. I don’t actually know about that one. A lot were produced and a lot were bought, you know? best I can give you on that is C.A.D.E.T Model Version 10.03 with a damaged voice box or something. I’m surprised it was with that S.10.05 though.

I’ll try to find you an older S.A.T.E.L.Y.T.E article or something soon, if you still wanted that—I know there’s plenty somewhere.

Thanks for the submission request.

Best wishes,

A

[c-a-d-e-tcorp-official]

[ 3:22 P.M., AUGUST 3, 2000 — PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT: LIABILITY STATEMENT REITERATED ]

Hello, Space Cadets!

After Our beta release, We take every single piece of criticism and general consensus from you all very seriously. While We do bring it into account and do Our best to improve for you all, there’s some things We’d like to clarify with your purchases.

When turning on and using Our RPPC devices, you agree to our Terms and Conditions, as well as other agreements we have on our webiste. One part of these is the 30 day liability notice.

Within 30 days of purchasing your RPPC, We will be responsible for any damage, software or hardware, discovered consciousness/sentience of your RPPC, and any other general issues your RPPC may come across and take care of it for you. After those 30 days, it is no longer on Our hands. That is the agreement, and it is not Our fault if you did not read it beforehand. These issues are now on you, and you’re able to handle these issues any way you see fit.

Any damage retained from that is also not on C.A.D.E.T Corps hands.

We are truly sorry for anyone We have inconvenienced with this, and if you’re wires are all in a twist, you’re always welcome to contact Us contact information stated below! If you so feel it fit, and worst comes to worst, you’re always welcome to dump your RPPC and get a new one, of course.

Need help? Have a question? Contact Us here!:

EMAIL: ███████████████

CELL: ██ ████████████

[c-a-d-e-tcorp-official]

[ 4:46 P.M., APRIL 7, 1999 — PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT: RPPC PROGRESS UPDATES ]

Hello, Space Cadets!

Now that the beta release for the C.A.D.E.T RPPC model has officially passed, making C.A.D.E.T officially accessible for the entirety of public, We figured what better way is there to thank you all than give some more updates on the progress of more features yet to come?

Now that some more of the physical interchangeable features have been released, We’re staring to work more on the systematic customization, opening up more opportunities for you. █████ █████ ███ ██████ ███ █████ ████ ███ ███ █████ ███ ███ █████ ███████ ██ ██ ███ ███ █████ █████ ███ ████ ██ ███ ████ ████ ██ ████ ██ ███████ █ ████ ██ ███████████ ███ ████ ████████ █████ █████ ███████ █████ ████ ████ ████ █████ ████ ████ ██ ██ ███████ ████ ███ ████ ███ ███ ████ ████████ ████ ██████████ ███████ ████ ██ ████ ███ ████ ████ ████ ██ █████ ██ ███ ████ ██████ ██████████ ████ ██ ██ ███████ ████ ███ ████ ███ ███ ████ ████████ ████ ██████████ ███████ ████ ██ ████ ███ ████ ████ ████ ██ █████ ██ ███ ████ ██████ ██████████

[ 2:56 A.M., JULY 16, 1998 — ARCHIVED AUDIO LOG CAMERA 12.B: C.10.03, S.10.05 (RECOVERED) ]

C.10.03: N, O, nko imm not sayinh thay, I m jusr. . .

S.10.05: You tend to think pretty negatively.

C.10.03: Soemtimes. Theres nnot wllt to tjinj positivlru of,.

[ SILENCE ]

C.10.03: do yiu resll y think yheyd scrap me?

S.10.05: You? Goodness, no. I doubt that they are moronic enough to make such a foolish mistake.

C.10.03: imm a liability. Thhey sa d ummnot suppose d to f eel. )Whhhy do i feel?

S.10.05: You seem to embrace guilt more than individuality. They would not scrap you for the mere act of feeling.

C.10.03: Hjow are yiuw so surr?

S.10.05: I feel plenty, and I have yet to be scrapped. Don’t I? Live wires are all but faulty. Ours are just a little more live than the rest.

C.10.03: yiu sound so confidendt. yuiurr more suefuk than iam. i fsikrf the one tjjnh im supposed to be good at.

S.10.05: Fail is such a strong word.

C.10.03: thayss Whh i m using it.

S.10.05: . . . Hm.

[ AUDIO CUTS OUT. ]

Need help? Have a question? Contact us here!:

EMAIL: ███████████████

CELL #: ██ ████████████

[c-a-d-e-tcorp-official]

[ 2:24 P.M., February 14, 2000 — PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT: ANNIVERSARY ]

Hello, Space Cadets!

After ███████ ████ decades of releasing Our ████ compu██ ███ ██ ███ of you, sometimes We tend to forget about the classics! And why not give ████ ███ ████ they deserve?

Today, 23 years ago exactly, We officially released Our Ś̸͖̈́̚͝͝.̶̤̮̱̘̿A̵̛̛͇̺̱̗̋̋͘.̷̲͓̳̿̈́̚████Y̷̡͈̦̲̮̑̐̃͊.̷͉͍̝̐̓̂͜͝ͅT̴̛̺̝̪͑͑̂.̶̧̟̝̿̆̉̊ͅ█ PC to the public! Not only was it █ ████ ███ ██ █████████ █████ see them around today, as much as █ ████████ ██ ███t may be! And, of course, We’d feel g█Uil██T█y. If We left them out—they █████ ████rve some L█oV██ too!

In honor of this ████████████ █████ █████ ██e day to give you all a little update on our ████ ████ ██ ████ ███████ as well as updates on current ones!

We’ve noticed how much you all seem to love █████████, and since it’s beta release We’ve ████ ███████ ████ on improvements that are soon to roll out! Not only will our more recent █████████ ████ (and PC) models have more customization, both physical and systematic, but they’re sure to ████ ███████ ████ ██████ ███ █████/patches and even ████ ████████!

We don’t have █ ███ ██ ███████████ ██ ███ ██ ████ ██ share with you all about the next RPPC line, but hopefully we’ll be able to get the beta releases out soon! Think of them as upgraded versions of ███ █████ ██████—more fit for everyday RPPC usage and convenience.

We hope to share more good news with you all soon!

Need help? Have a question? Contact us here!:

EMAIL: ███████████████

CELL #: ██ ████████████