last night i was talking very openly to a friend who has ADHD and at some point he said: you 100% have it too, it's insane how much i relate to your experience. the fact these days virtually everyone thinks they're neurodivergent and the flourishing of online therapy services, targeted ads, pseudoscience based mental health apps, pop culture references, longform essays etc etc all reinforcing those preconceptions made me kind of shy away from trying to pursue an actual diagnosis because there is a part of me that judges that very negatively, like when i was 17 and the "big thing" at the time were bpd or bipolar and i'd obviously convinced myself i had both. on the other hand i can't deny how i see a lot of recurring symptoms and patterns that trace very far back in time and started becoming really evident in my teens although i could not quite see the big picture and kept on over/misdiagnosing myself because i was also severely depressed at the time. but now i'm more mature and self aware and especially during difficult or transformative phases of my life i go back to thinking about how that would put together a lot of scattered puzzle pieces i always spend hours trying to make sense of to myself and others and the idea alone makes me sigh with potential relief. i wanted to start therapy this fall and this wasn't the initial reason that made me consider doing it, i don't even think i'd mention it unless it came up organically. but i would be curious to know if i have been right or wrong all this time