Malicious Liturgy @c4rn4lc47h4r515 - Tumblr Blog

my drawing skills are objectively unpolished but sometimes i think about this dick that i drew a few months ago

planning on coming out.....as.......the antichrist......so nervous..........

it's just that i'm always worried i'm doing the wrong thing even when there's not a wrong thing to be doing. in the grocery aisle i'm doing the wrong thing. stopping for a moment to retie my shoelaces i am doing the wrong thing.

it is the first time i've visited this friend at her house; i'm doing the wrong thing already, what if i have the wrong address, what if she has special rules i don't know about, what if my presence here was more of a politeness and not a true request. it is the first time i've been to this restaurant, and surely yes i've been to many of these but what if i'm doing the wrong thing in this one. and even if i've been to this gym a million times what if this time the rules have changed somehow (or i've been doing it wrong all along and it was pure luck that nobody noticed) and what if this time i'm doing it very wrong.

they're taking orders for lunch at work, what if i order the wrong thing somehow, or what if - what if i am not even supposed to order anything - is this a test? my friends ask if i want to see a movie but what if i suggest a movie that they won't like and that's certainly doing the wrong thing. yes im certifiably happy and she's amazing and i love being a lesbian but if i bring her on a date where everything isn't blisteringly perfect (the weather is a bit chilly, finding parking was harder than i thought, the event started 3 minutes late) isn't that doing the wrong thing? i know i can't control everything obviously but i should have planned better; this was my fault. and of course i know i'm only human but - a lack of omnipotent foresight really is doing the wrong thing now.

am i doing the wrong thing writing about this? i'm doing the wrong thing, aren't i, i'm so sorry, i always seem to be doing that somehow.

yo mama so wise she writin scrolls n shit

#shitpost

I Can't Believe It's Not a Fucking Skinwalker!

#esoteric #traditional art #drawing #make bad art #hope and its bitter twin expectation

if you gove me a dolar i'll frown ar you

through a mask of haze the world glimmers

chat i just got a grindr notification from kick buttowski what do i do

the ticking clock is here again. (did you know i live in fear?)

this one has been swirling in my chest for a while:

my heart aches for what they took from me.

the simple and painfully human act of worship. they twisted and deformed it until i couldn't see it anymore. they built a citadel of shame deep inside my psyche that i might not ever fully remove.

but remove it i will try: a bird rendered flightless by its mad compulsion to pluck out its own feathers.

who are my people?

what are their gods?

surely it cannot be this,

surely it cannot be this.

#poetry #thoughts #religious trauma #christian guilt #feelings #the aching #profound and immutable aching

gutsygumshoe-blog1

this is in my history book about prohibition in the 1920s and i’m laughing so hard oh my gooooood

vexwerewolf

And then remember this. The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that.

- Karis Nemik’s manifesto, Andor

c4rn4lc47h4r515

as someone who detests authority and spends a non-trivial amount of time under the influence i approve this post

#for me its weed tho

when hell went to war with heaven, earthly ghouls did spring from the shadow-places