I'm not here for friends

Caesar Collins ; 21 ; Business

[caesarcollins]

vivsolis‌:

“And how has this worked out for you?” Viviana uncrossed her arms and stood up. “If this is what you want, I will,” the blonde took off his jacket, throwing it over the table. He started walking out of the library but stopped halfway. Giving him one last chance to go after her.

“It doesn’t help. Nothing helps.” He grumbled, shrinking in on himself in a protective sort of way. It was something he never noticed that he did, but he did this when he became uncomfortable or emotional. Grabbing his jacket, he slipped it back on and just waved at her. 

[caesarcollins]

vivsolis‌:

“Well, have you ever stopped to think that you’re alone because you’re always angry, and you’re always angry because you don’t let your emotions out?,” she stared at him, “Seriously, because you’re getting all angry right now and I’m trying really hard to stay here and try to talk to you.”

“I do let my emotions out. My emotions are just my business and no one else’s.” That was a lie. The only emotion he ever got out was anger, and it really didn’t help at all. It just pushed people away. But he was always alone anyway, so what did it matter? “If it’s so hard then why don’t you leave?”

[caesarcollins]

vivsolis‌:

Without looking at him, the blonde rolled her eyes, “If you keep all your emotions and frustrations to yourself, one time you can’t take it anymore. To me, there were just a few broken dishes in the kitchen, but it could be much worse. And if you talk and vent, you feel freer, as if you could finally breathe again,” her eyes stay focused on the floor, watching her feet tap.

“I don’t keep my frustrations to myself. I let out my anger, so why do I need a therapist to tell me what I already know? That I’m angry all the time and don’t have anyone. How the hell is it supposed to make me feel freer? Change is what makes you free, and talking with someone about problems that don’t concern them doesn’t change anything.”

[caesarcollins]

vivsolis‌:

She stared at him, narrowing her eyes. “Good for you, looks like you’re more advanced than me. Because when I found myself alone in a huge house with no one to care about me, I asked for help. But you do you, what do i know?”

Alone in a big house...no one to care...That was every day for Caesar. Until he came here, that was. And even then, he sat in a dorm by himself with no one to care. Fuck...Gritting his teeth, he cleared his throat. “How would talking help anyway? It doesn’t change a damn thing.”

[caesarcollins]

vivsolis‌:

“I went to therapy because I needed to talk to someone. My parents were never there for me and then my brothers went to college and never came back, they wanted to leave my parents but I was the one who ended up alone,” she sighed. “Okay, so don’t do it. It’s your choice, sorry,” she crossed her arms.

Caesar didn’t believe that was it. “Sure.” He mumbled, shaking his head at her. There had to be something wrong with her. Something other than just her family issues. “My parents were never there either, but you don’t see me ‘needing to talk to someone’.” He commented. Maybe it wasn’t the same since she was abandoned by her brothers, but still.

[caesarcollins]

vivsolis‌:

“Yeah, handcuffs are always sexy,” she agreed. “It’s not for crazy people, I did therapy and look, I’m not crazy at all, am I?,” she tried to keep up with a calm voice. “Hey, I’m just trying to help. If you don’t feel comfortable, that’s fine, you don’t have to be mad, okay?,” she said, stroking his arm.

“I’m glad you agree,” He nodded. Caesar narrowed his eyes at the girl. “That has yet to be seen. If you went to therapy there has to be something wrong with you.” He tried to push the idea on her, though in reality, he was going to lose the coming argument. Pulling back his arm, he shook his head. “I’m not doing it.”

[caesarcollins]

laughterlincs‌:

Alvera couldn’t keep the grin from her face at the other’s offer. “You would buy it for me?” She wondered, entirely surprised by the complete turn that their conversation had taken. “I would owe you one, for sure. Whatever you want, within reason. Although I’m sure that my within reason is further than most peoples.”

“I mean, it beats sitting here and looking for it for hours, right?” He reasoned, not minding the idea. As long as he could get back to his work soon. “I don’t think there’s anything I’d really want. But maybe I’ll call in a favor in the future.”

[caesarcollins]

vivsolis‌:

“Yes! It is true, I mean, look at this,” she said pointing to her body, “Now imagine that with a police officer uniform on top. See? 46% more hot,” she laughed. “A lot of people have a wrong idea of what therapy is. I did it for a couple years and it was amazing,” Viviana slid her hands across the table, trying to reach his arm. “C’mon, drop the attitude.”

“I mean, the uniform would probably make up 20%, but the handcuffs alone would make up the other 26%.” He reasoned. That said enough about him though. He did believe she’d look hotter in a police uniform. “Therapy is for crazy people, and I’m not fucking crazy.” His voice got a little louder and his tone became even more defiant.

[caesarcollins]

vivsolis‌:

“Studies prove that anyone is 46% more attractive when wearing a uniform,” she said, trying to sound smart. “Sometimes yes, we all have our existential crisis, but not like this. Have you ever been in therapy? It could be great.” She rolled her eyes, laughing, “I don’t know either, but we’ll figure out something.”

“Oh I bet that’s just super true,” He laughed, shaking his head. “I’m already 100% attractive, I don’t think I can get any higher.” He teased. He knew he was handsome, so he was going to continue to joke about it. “Fuck therapy, I don’t need that shit.” He said defiantly, crossing his arms over his chest. “Sure thing.”

[caesarcollins]

vivsolis‌:

“Firefighters are amazing and they’re so hot.” Clearly that was going nowhere, so she decided to drop it. Hearing him speak, the blonde couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. “Okay, maybe you’re right, but you shouldn’t feel this way. We should do something about it. You know what? I will help you to live, babe.”

“Sure, they’re amazing, but it’s not for me. And I’m already hot enough, so there’s no worry there.” He countered. Caesar wished he felt something other than empty. He kind of felt joy when he was doing math or science, or playing baseball, but that wasn’t something he wanted to do with his life. Those were just hobbies. “Everyone feels empty sometimes, it’s really not a big deal. Don’t know what you mean, babe, but alright.”

[caesarcollins]

vivsolis‌:

“That’s impossible, nothing? Not even an astronaut or firefighter?” Viviana remembered how she made her brothers play school with her and when they were too busy being boys, the blonde would organize her stuffed animals in her room and pretend to be their teacher. “I’d love to tell you that money is not everything and you should do what makes you happy, but I won’t be a hypocrite, money is really important. But I think if you do something just for the money, there will always be a part of you that will feel empty.”

“Nope. I wasn’t interested in exploring space, just learning about it. And firefighting is fucking dangerous, man. Fuck that.” He was sure there was something he wanted to be. Maybe he just forgot it like he tried to forget everything about his childhood. It was just a sad existence. “Money kind of is everything. You can’t do jack shit without money. Babe, I’ve been empty, and I doubt that’s ever gonna change.”

[caesarcollins]

laughterlincs‌:

“I have no idea. I guess they were just trying to be aesthetically appealing.” She shrugged yet again. She was kind of amused by watching the other experience her struggle, but she tried to keep her smile to herself. “I asked the librarian, yeah, but she basically told me to go fuck myself. I mean, not in so many words…” She trailed off, eyes moving to scan the shelves, “Honestly, at this point buying it seems like less of a hassle.” 

“I guess so.” He shrugged, sighing. Fuck this book. After a little longer of looking for it, he shook his head. “You’re right, buying it seems easier. Fuck, if I have to I’ll fucking buy it for you.” He continued to search even though at this point, he probably would have to purchase it for her.

[caesarcollins]

vivsolis‌:

“So, why don’t you? It’s your life, do what you wanna do,” she paused for a second, remembering her yearbook quote, “Be the change you want to see in the world!” She knew that didn’t made a lot of sense to the conversation they were having, but that was the only thing that came to her mind when she thought of motivational quotes. “So, what did you want to be when you were a kid?”

“I already do those things.” He shrugged. “Change? I don’t care much for change, I’m a creature of habit.” Caesar told her. It was true. He liked the same things over and over. It was a consistency he needed. Something at least semi-stable. “I don’t think I ever wanted to be something. I was always told about money and it’s importance, but that didn’t really motivate me to want to do anything. All I wanted was to make sure I had money to keep me stable, and my parent took care of that when I was younger and they will until I graduate. But I’ve got something to keep me stable and keep up my wealth.”

[caesarcollins]

laughterlincs‌:

She chuckled, although she was trying to be supportive. “Right? All I remember is that it had a mostly black cover with like, a girl doing ballet on it.” She shrugged, “Super artistic, although not practical. Get’s kinda tiring if you’re looking for it.” 

“What the fuck does that have to do with psychology?” What the fuck? He was now kind of wishing he’d just kept being a dick. Then he wouldn’t have had to do any work. But then again, he could have just said no. “Did you ask someone who works here about it?”

[caesarcollins]

vivsolis‌:

She pouted, trying to pretend to be upset. “To tell the truth, it just happened. I always liked to post my looks, my trips, my parties and then in the last year of high school, my profile started to grow. And then when I saw that I could make money from it, I did it. And I wanted to piss my parents off too, my whole family went to college and when I said I didn’t want to, they freaked out. And you, always wanted to be a businessman?”

“Oh, see, that kinda makes sense then. Maybe that’s just what you were meant to do. Kinda seems like it. It’s always a plus if it pisses off your family, too.” He chuckled. Caesar took a minute to think about her question. Did he always want to be a businessman? Not really. But he never really had any drive to do anything else professionally. “I mean...not really. It was only recently that I agreed to take on the business. I don’t remember ever wanting to do anything else but play baseball and fiddle with numbers, though.”

[caesarcollins]

vivsolis‌:

“Oh, I thought we were past this phase. Are you telling me that all this time I was networking for nothing?,” she gaped, dramatizing. She didn’t think much about what she would do if her career didn’t work out, maybe she should put into practice the degree she was getting. But she preferred to follow her plan and hope that everything worked out.

“Yup, it was all for naught.” He said, nodding his head at her dramatic words. It was strange, getting along with someone he had been fighting with. Normally that didn’t happen. Normally he was rude and they left, but this conversation took a turn. “So, what made you become an influencer?”

[caesarcollins]

vivsolis‌:

“Not if I have a friend who is going to be a businessman and has his own company, and would be willing to give me a job as a Marketing manager or something,” she said, patting his shoulder.

“We’ll see if I end up liking you enough,” He joked, a smirk finding its way on his face. That was absolutely a possibility. He wasn’t sure he was going to keep his father’s staff. At least not all of them. He knew that at some point there would be hiring and firings.