helloo :) You can find my top 4 movies in my intro!!─ aftersun, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, she's the man, and kill bill🙂↕️🙂↕️ I also recently watched obsession, which i really liked, and it's kind of funny since there's a character called bear and your emoji is a bear, but i digress. what about you??
hey! hi! hello! what’s your current hyperfixation??🧐🧐🧐
Hiiiiiiiiiiiii🙋♀️ is that user godspeedfike in MY? inbox??😮😮😮 my current hyperfixation is definitely yellowjackets and i'm doing a rewatch with my friends before S4 comes out soon (hopefully).
but originally, i was super excited for sophie thatcher's upcoming movie with havana rose liu and that brought me back to her edits, NAT EDITS, jackieshauna edits shout out the ones featuring ethel cain, and here i am now! ... but i wanna hear about your current hyperfixation(s) too!!
this is lwk a old account but I feel too connected to change it to the name I use on everything else yk 🥹
Anyways I gen dont know what to do as a moot I just think ur cool and wanted to reach out 😭🫰
Maybe I’ll send in requests idk
of course😙😙 yess i get so attached to all my account names and themes and Ykw yours is too good to change so i'm with you on that one. & YOU THINK I'M COOL?? well i think you're pretty cool too for reaching out✌️ sometimes i'm scared to interact first so you have me beat on being a good moot🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️ I mean, if you ever do have a request, i'll gladly write whatever makes you happy :D (except i'm a little iffy on 18+ stuff)
i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her
( fluff & lil smau ) \\ megan skiendiel x fem!reader // you and megan have spent years acting exactly like a couple while aggressively denying it to everyone else, but the playlists alone should’ve been enough for the both of you to take the hint.
c : fluff, written + some texts, friends to lovers
wc : ~8.5k
♬⋆.˚
people had been accusing you and megan of dating for so long that you don’t bother denying it with conviction anymore.
maybe it was because she was always in your personal space. maybe it was because she stole your clothes and wore them like you bought them specifically for her. maybe it was even because you mostly communicated through shared playlists when texting didn’t feel like enough.
teachers assumed it, baristas at your local coffee shop assumed it, your friends assumed it.
you thought everyone was just being dramatic, surely one of you would’ve said something to the other by now.
but to be fair, neither of you really helped the rumors.
like the time you and megan were in a crowded restaurant and you made a stupid joke that wasn’t even that funny, but megan laughed so loud the whole building went silent. your smile dropped immediately as you sat there trying to hide your embarrassment behind your drink.
the problem wasn’t her dorky laugh, but the fact that she made it seem like you invented comedy. and later when the waitress looked between you two and said, “you guys are so cute, how long have you been together?”
your smile faltered but megan replied, “basically forever,” with a grin.
or when you get text messages from her at midnight, apologizing for something stupid as an excuse to talk to you again.
which is exactly why it wasn’t a surprise when you heard pebbles being thrown at your window one night.
you open your curtains and look down at megan with the window still closed. she’s standing there with a handful of more pebbles and you roll your eyes at the scene.
you hear another pebble hit the glass before you process that she threw another one, and she shrugs. you sigh and open the window for her to climb in.
you wait about ten minutes, hearing whispers of “shoot!” and “crap!” with every step she takes on the wrong branches.
“i swear your window gets higher every time i come here,” megan gasps out after finally reaching your bedroom. immediately, she picks up your hoodie from where you left it and puts it on like it belongs to her and flops onto the bed.
“get off my bed with your outside clothes!” you swat her on the back but she doesn’t respond with words, just a groan.
so you sit at the edge of the bed right next to her, and she shifts to drop her head into your lap with an exhausted sigh. one arm slips loosely around your waist and your hand instinctively goes to her hair, feeling her body relax.
“you need to stop throwing rocks at my window.”
“romeo did it and everybody loved him,” megan says after lifting her head just enough to glare at you, then laying back down.
you lightly tug her hair, “be serious.”
she replies with a soft hum but you can tell she’s drifting off.
you let her lay like this for about twenty minutes before your legs start feeling like they’re about to disconnect from your body.
“you’re falling asleep.”
“no i’m not, i’m just resting my eyes,” megan mumbles instantly, defensive.
you snort quietly and use your strength to shake her off of you and stand both of you up. you did most of the work while megan dramatically complained about being cold and too tired to move a muscle.
once you finally get her out the window, with your hoodie still on her body, you smile and tilt your head at her. the only thing you hear is the sound of the streets outside. “text me when you get home,” you say quietly.
she nods with a smile that you can barely see in the dark, and you watch her climb back down the tree next to your window, you try your hardest to hold in your laugh at how tight she’s gripping the branches with fear.
megan does this quite often. she sneaks into your bedroom to see your face for a few minutes, and then eventually leaves when she’s forced to.
the next day, you’re in the middle of making yourself a drink when your phone buzzes and lights up with a notification from megan.
you shake your head, smiling, and shove your phone in your pocket, quickly pulling on a jacket and leaving through the door.
you can already see megan in her parked car, sunglasses on and looking around pretending she can’t see you.
she probably thinks she looks so cool right now.
“you look like you’re driving a getaway car,” you say after getting in the passenger seat. you notice that the playlist you made was already playing in the car.
“oh, you’re here! only took you twenty years,” she says with fake surprise, looking at you fully.
you roll your eyes playfully, but your eyes catch on the drink on your side of the car. “you got me a drink?”
“yeah, i know how annoying you get when you’re thirsty.”
“that’s actually really nice. are you ill?” you say with a raised eyebrow.
megan scoffs and starts pulling out of the driveway. “i did that for my sake not yours, i don’t want you to be mean to me out of thirst.”
“i’m never mean to you.”
“remember when you said you’d block me if i didn’t play minecraft with you?”
instead of answering, you just turn your head away from her because yes, you do remember when you did that. she laughs and reaches out to grab your hand with her free one, then gently placing your connected hands into her lap.
she drives like that for a while, one handed and the other one absentmindedly rubbing over your knuckles with her thumb without either of you acknowledging it.
“if you add this song into any more of your playlists, i’m gonna press the ‘eject passenger seat’ button like in the barbie show and send you flying,” she says after you turn the volume up when a certain song starts playing.
“it’s a good song,” you defend.
“it makes me want to crash,” megan deadpans.
you stare at her with fake annoyance to continue the bit, but you notice how focused she looks when she drives, how she’s still rubbing your hand without pulling away, how she still tries to sing along to the song without knowing the lyrics.
the teasing gets washed away instantly and instead gets replaced with all things megan related.
but before you can continue, said girl stops at a red light and glances over at you, catching you staring. “take a picture, it’ll last longer.”
“i was literally just zoning out.”
“sure,” she laughs.
the red light turns amber, then green, but megan hasn’t noticed yet, too busy teasing you. until someone honks behind you and she flinches. you grimace as she steps on the pedal and makes the car speed off way too fast for your liking. “oh my god, we’re going to die,” you shriek as she keeps laughing at you, still not letting go of your hand.
you eventually get to the drive thru, and megan’s eyes light up looking at the menu. the way she scans the options so intensely confuses you.
she gets the same thing every time.
“you’ve been looking at the same meal for two minutes now,” you point out.
“shh, this is important.”
you furrow your eyebrows as the car finally moves down the line and reaches the speaker. “welcome, what can i get you?”
megan nervously sits up straighter, “hi, can i get-”
“a large fry,” you interrupt.
“wow,” she softly gasps.
“what?”
“you know me.”
“you literally order the same thing every time.”
“still romantic.”
you dig yourself further into the seat instead of replying, at a loss of words. the employee behind the speaker pauses before speaking again, “that’s actually really cute.”
both of you freeze in the car until megan recovers quickly and grins, “thank you!”
you whip your head towards her, “megan.”
she smiles innocently at you and proceeds to continue with the rest of the order for the employee, who laughs quietly at each interaction between you two.
the car moves along again, and you get to the cashier, who stands there and waits until you guys stop fighting over who pays today.
the car moves again until you’re parked in a quieter place. the music is still playing but lower this time, allowing you to hear each other better.
the food is spread around you and megan keeps stealing fries from your box, even though she has the same exact ones right in front of her.
she says yours “taste better” after you lose patience when she steals another fry right out your hand.
the music starts to fade out again, you didn’t lower the volume, but you both forgot it was playing in the first place as you only focus on each other and the stupid ‘what if’ questions shared between you to keep conversation going.
she says things like, “you’re my favorite person to do nothing with.”
you match her and say, “you make everything less boring.”
which makes megan quieter in a comfortable way. you watch her steal another fry without asking as you lean further back into your designated seat.
after knowing someone for years, you get to appreciate the quiet moments more. you know how the other is feeling without having to actually say anything out loud. it feels warm somehow.
“…i think we’d be good at fake dating,” she says suddenly, staring out of the window.
“fake dating?” you laugh softly.
“yeah.”
“why are you thinking about that?”
“because everyone already thinks we are anyway”
“hm,” you reach over to take your fry back from her hands, “i think we’d be bad at it.”
that makes her frown and look at you, offended. “bad? excuse you. i’d be amazing.”
“we’d be too convincing. look, you’re already holding my hand while driving.”
she looks at your intertwined hands, and holds yours tighter instead of letting go, “maybe i just like you.”
your heart feels weird, but not in a bad way, just in a humiliating way.
you can’t tell if she’s joking. megan doesn’t know either. except she’s staring at you for too long and smiling at you in a way that makes your stomach twist.
you feel like there’s no air in the car, so you move to open the window, but she interrupts you by suddenly speaking “and also we’re weirdly codependent.”
“i think there are worse people in the world to be attached to.”
she goes still for a moment, her thumb pausing on your knuckles. megan takes a deep breath and rubs your hand slower this time.
a smile appears on her face, “that was gross.”
“you’re the one who brought this up.”
“yeah but you made it emotional, gross,” she repeats under her breath, but her dimples give her away.
you laugh with her and lean your head back, the silence in the car softens. the occasional sound of the food boxes moving and other cars driving by are heard, but it’s mostly just you, megan, and your playlists.
she’s still holding your hand like she needs it. even when she’s driving her car back to your house.
at every red light, megan turns to glance at you before immediately looking to the front again like you wouldn’t notice, but you’re already looking at her first and catch her every time.
when megan parks up in your driveway, it’s dark outside. the only thing helping you see her are the car interior lights that turned on when she stopped the car.
neither of you move yet.
“thanks for today,” you say, quiet enough to not break the soft feeling between you.
“yeah, of course. today was nice,” she replies simply while tapping her fingers on the steering wheel.
“do you think we’ll still do this when we’re old?” you ask.
“eating fries in parking lots?”
“yeah.”
“obviously.” she gets quiet, like she wants to say something meaningful but doesn’t. your hand lingers on the door handle but you don’t move to open it. “you should go inside.”
“you should drive home.”
“you first.”
“you’re literally still holding my hand.”
that makes her look down at your intertwined hands. “…oh,” but she still doesn’t let go.
you get quiet again, too distracted by the way your heart reacts to megan.
“okay…i’m leaving now,” you say slowly.
“okay.”
you still don’t move.
“wait-” megan blurts out.
you pause in your seat, “what?”
her mouth opens to talk but nothing comes out, for a while she just stares at you until her eyes nervously jump around trying to think of something to say.
“uh, you forgot your food,” megan mumbles out, pointing at your box that has a total of three fries left inside.
you blink, “you’re unbelievable.”
she shrugs in return, “yeah.”
you give her a look before finally pulling your hand away from her, which makes the car feel colder somehow.
“goodnight, megan.”
she’s still watching you carefully, “text me when you get inside.”
you open the car door, but before stepping out, you glance back one more time. megan’s already looking at you. “drive safe,” you say in a hushed tone.
her expression softens, “i always do.”
“liar,” you snort.
megan grins, “goodnight, pretty.”
your brain stops functioning for a second, but before you can get back to normal, megan starts the car again with a smug smile like she knows what she just did to you.
you stand still in your driveway watching her pull away for longer than necessary before finally going inside.
your room feels weirdly isolated after that.
you collapse onto the bed, staring at the ceiling and replaying the entire night and every single interaction.
your phone proceeds to buzz with a notification. megan made a new playlist. it makes you narrow your eyes and open it with caution.
you stare at the screen in horror, is she insane?
shoving the phone face down into your blanket with much more force than intended, you cover your face with your hands and groan loudly.
not enough to relieve yourself of megan finding a permanent way into your brain and altering everything in there with just a spotify playlist and a ‘make me’ text.
you roll over and shove your face into your pillow, and that somehow makes it worse, because now there’s nothing distracting you from tonight.
holding hands, megan rubbing your knuckles like it was automatic, the way she looked at you at every single red light.
you squeeze your eyes shut, there’s no way she was being serious about any of that. she’s not capable of being romantic and smooth.
this is the same girl that keeps mistaking sugar with salt and screaming when she consumes the wrong one.
yet, you still find yourself scrolling through the playlist again. megan said to not overanalyze the lyrics, but how can you not?
when everything that happened before the playlist was made, makes it seem like it wasn’t a coincidence.
you toss the phone away from you to stop spiralling any further and you let sleep take over your overthinking.
the next few days feel worse, because now every interaction with megan feels like it means more than it is. more lingering and saying too much.
and megan makes it worse too, especially when she asked you to go to the carnival with her, and saying you can’t deny because she already bought the ticket.
the carnival feels way more crowded than you thought it would be. different music is blasting from every ride, people are carrying oversized prizes and they graze your shoulder every once in a while. the smell of carnival food overwhelms your senses the further you walk.
you suddenly feel someone catch your wrist and you’re about to flinch or pull back, but you recognize the shapes of the cold rings pressing into your hand.
“finally!” megan says dramatically, a little louder too so you can hear her over the speakers.
“i’m only two minutes late,” you retort.
she doesn’t hear you though, and instead she drags you deeper into the carnival without letting go.
she takes you down a path of rides where you scream your lungs out and megan laughs at you, games where she keeps losing and blaming it on the wind, and food vans with overpriced options.
she’s constantly pulling you close through the crowds, standing right behind you while waiting in line, enough that you can feel her front pressing into you.
when you play one of the games and it’s your turn, you hear the carnival worker say, “your girlfriend’s turn now,” to megan.
you watch her reaction but she calmly accepts it without replying.
one moment stood out though. you were at a different game booth, but this worker looks past the way megan acts around you, and decided to speak up.
“oh my god, that was so embarrassing,” megan laughs after you completely miss the shot at the bottles.
“shut up,” you roll your eyes.
“okay, i see the strategy,” the worker around your age says.
“thank you!” you say proudly
“pretty girls get an extra try,” he adds.
but before you could respond, megan is already interrupting, “then where’s my extra try?”
“…uh,” the worker tries to laugh it off but it just sounds awkward.
“i’m pretty too,” megan continues, sounding too serious.
you stare at her, “megan.”
the worker moves his eyes between you two without blinking, like he figured something out. “you don’t need extra tries, your girlfriend is already winning,” he jokes to megan.
usually one of you laughs it off, but instead, megan leans forward on her elbows that were resting on the counter and nods, “true. she’s very talented.”
your mouth falls open, and megan finally looks at you, visibly fighting a smile off her face. “what?” she asks too innocently.
“you can’t just-”
“babe,” she cuts you off smoothly, “focus on the game.”
the worker laughs but you’re too busy thinking about how natural that sounded, like she’s been calling you that forever.
which makes you miss the next throw, somehow even more embarrassingly than last time.
megan bursts into laughter in your face, “that was so bad!”
“your fault.”
“worth it.”
she’s still smiling when she reaches over to fix the hood of your jacket without thinking, her fingers brushing your cheek for a second too long.
then she speaks to the worker again.
“can my girlfriend get one more try?”
“megan.”
later on, you two end up walking to her parked car, which was so far you could’ve just walked home, but she insisted on dropping you off.
it’s quieter between you two, you don’t know if it’s because there’s no more music filling your ears, or if it’s because megan keeps glancing at you and looking away instead of talking to you.
you’ve had enough so you lightly tug at her sleeve, “okay,” you sigh.
“okay?”
“you got weird earlier. you’re still weird.”
“i’m always weird.”
“you know what i mean.”
“i don’t,” she keeps responding dryly.
you stare at her flatly as she avoids eye contact. it’s actually impressive how hard she’s trying.
“megan.”
“what?”
“you called me babe,” you say.
“as a joke,” she shoots back.
“you also called me your girlfriend.”
“as a joke,” she repeats.
“right,” it almost feels like you’re talking to a brick wall.
“right,” megan trails off.
you let a few seconds pass between you until you speak up again. “you looked way too happy saying it,” you murmur.
you hear the shuffle of her shoes on the path after she nearly trips over nothing from your accusation. “i did not. you’re imagining things.”
“you got jealous,” you finally let out.
it makes megan go silent, feeling caught. the noises around you blur together while megan stares ahead as you both keep walking. the headlights from the cars around you make her face visible to you and your heart beats a little faster.
“megan,” you try getting her attention back on you.
“i just didn’t like him,” she says shortly.
your eyes widen a little bit before replying, “why?”
“because he was annoying,” she answers like a child.
“megan.”
“what do you want me to say?” the words come out more frustrated than she means them to and you both stop walking, she finally turns to look at you with her whole body.
“i’m not sure,” you mutter quietly.
she watches you, and then laughs under her breath nervously after a while. “i think i’ve been feeling weird about you for a while now.”
you and the rest of the world pause.
“weird how?” you ask softly.
megan looks at you for a bit longer. she tries to talk but nothing comes out, so she groans and throws her head back in frustration. despite the tension, you laugh a little. she shakes her head and looks back down at the ground in front of her.
“i get jealous, i hide behind playlists instead of saying things to you like a normal person, and every time you flirt i forget how to act for a minute.”
your chest feels tighter than usual, an unfamiliar feeling washing over you before she continues, “best friends don’t act that way.”
“no they don’t…” you say breathless.
the colors of the carnival lights behind her glow faintly, barely visible now. neither of you notice anything that’s happening around you anymore though.
“so…what now?” she quiets down.
you sigh and laugh at the same time, “i don’t know.”
“cool. great. awesome.”
you can see she’s starting to feel nervous, which makes you smile in return, and she smiles back. you notice how close you’re standing and you can’t help it when your eyes glance at her lips before you can stop them.
she notices and megan’s smile slowly fades from her face, “oh,” she breathes out softly and you swear you feel your heart almost explode.
“if this ruins our friendship…” she whispers.
“that’s what you’re worried about right now?” you slightly laugh, matching her tone.
“shut up.”
“make me,” you copy her.
you feel her smile when your lips finally meet, and you sigh into it, you’ve both been waiting so long for this. her hand slides against your jaw and she leans in further to deepen the kiss.
it’s gentle but still slightly awkward in the way it usually is when you kiss someone you’ve known for a while for the first time.
you pull away just a tiny bit, and let out a laugh, and megan’s smile widens, immediately wanting to kiss you again.
and she does.
it’s warmer and more certain this time, with your hands resting on top of hers, which were still gently holding onto your face.
the only thing on your mind is megan’s hand, lips, and how it doesn’t make sense why this ever felt complicated in the first place.
when you finally pull apart, megan’s eyes slowly open after you and you’re both still grinning.
“wow…”
you giggle and catch your breath, “that’s all you got?”
it stays on your mind the whole journey home, up until megan parks in front of your house and kisses you again before saying goodbye, which gives you yet another moment to replay in your head when you get to your bedroom.
you’re still smiling to yourself when you hear a buzz coming from your phone, and you pick your phone up with speed you didn’t even know you had.
synopsis . . . after a bitter and chaotic divorce, daniela and you can’t stand being in the same room — but for the sake of your little girl, you would do anything, including agree to couple’s therapy. it starts with weekly sessions of torture that relives the past and turns into the discovery that hate isn’t always the opposite of love.
contains . . . highly suggestive, jealous! reader, a little confusing but you will understand it eventually, smut next chapter?? omg who said that...
word account . . . 3.6k words.
masterlist. previous. next.
same doctor’s office, same cold air conditioning that made you regret not grabbing the sweater from your closet before leaving, the same sound of dr. bennett’s pen tapping against the clipboard resting on his lap, his professional gaze over the young divorced couple in front of him, deciphering your grumpy expression and daniela’s confused eyes like a puzzle.
“so… how was the week?” his voice was cautious. sessions ago, he had learned that a simple question could trigger an argument between you and daniela. but not this time… this time, the week had been pleasant.
after the call, things had gone… well.
you exchanged casual, natural texts. daniela asked for pictures of elena, what cereal she should buy, what time she could pick her up over the weekend. you answered with the same basic, shallow politeness — elena was fine, she preferred chocolate cereal, and she could pick her up right before dinner.
nothing else was said about that call. daniela didn’t bring it up, neither did you, but both of you knew something had changed. something small, so tiny it didn’t even have a name, but it existed, and it soothed the animosity between you. maybe it was a hint of the forgiveness you had given her, maybe the fact she had acknowledged a mistake that, during the marriage, she would have never admitted to. but it existed… and it felt good.
it lasted until this morning.
“it was good, normal,” daniela answered, though her voice didn’t sound convinced, not even a little. maybe it would have a few hours ago. “elena’s doing so well with the sleepovers now, she already sleeps through the whole night at my place, she already sees it as her home too.” there was a hint of pride in her words, and a small part of you couldn’t stop the bittersweet feeling growing in your chest.
elena was adapting, she was understanding and processing her mothers’ divorce. that was good.
elena had two homes now, something you never, ever wanted.
dr. bennett gave an almost genuine smile. if you weren’t paying two hundred dollars an hour, you might’ve even believed he was a happy friend hearing about an achievement.
“that’s very good. it’s important to give her time to process things,” he said, then looked at you there, tense, always tense in that room. under that man’s gaze, you shrank into the couch with your arms crossed, almost wanting to disappear. not because you felt self-conscious — you looked good enough in the jeans you picked, you had made sure of that this morning. the tension came from another reason, one that wouldn’t leave your lips so easily. “and you, y/n? want to talk about how your week was? you two seem less… aggressive.”
“we were,” daniela answered before you, and for the first time in weeks, you didn’t want to snap back at her. “we had a conversation last week, after the appointment, everything was okay… but you’re different now. what happened?”
suddenly, you wanted to yell at her. the moment those words left daniela’s mouth, your discomfort became something real. more than that, it became almost palpable. you could feel their eyes on you like a physical presence, and had to swallow hard before answering more calmly than you thought possible.
“nothing, everything’s fine… i’m normal.” you answered, as honestly as your lie allowed.
daniela didn’t reply, she looked at the doctor the same way a child looks at their parents after their sibling does something wrong, as if waiting for him to scold you.
“well… i’m sure you don’t mind telling me how the week was, then,” he said calmly, adjusting his glasses over his large nose.
you sighed internally in relief. you could talk about that, the week had been so good. you could ignore the feeling that seemed like an extra weight on your body, shove it to the back of your mind and answer him. you were paying two hundred dollars an hour, after all.
“sure… it was good, like daniela said, things have been working. no more fights since the last session.”
“then why are you acting weird now?” daniela asked. this time, her voice had lost half the patience it carried before, her eyes narrowed just slightly, her head tilted to the side, and dr. bennett’s disapproving look shifted toward her. even then, she didn’t stop. she took a deep breath and, like someone searching for the right words, continued. “look, i don’t wanna be an asshole, okay? i’m not trying to be one… it’s just that things were really good this week, it was nice not fighting with you all the time, so i don’t want it to go back to how it was before.”
“it’s not gonna go back to how it was before,” you said quickly, faster than you intended. you didn’t want it to, not at all.
“i know you, you bottle things up until you get mad at me without me even knowing why.” there was no pride in daniela’s tone, no anger, just… honesty. “so just tell me what happened… it’s better if you say it, right doc?” her honey eyes turned back to the man sitting across from you, searching for approval that came quickly.
“definitely. it’s important that you share what’s bothering you, y/n,” he said.
“it was the meeting with elena’s teacher today, wasn’t it?” daniela asked directly, and you sighed.
it was. it was the meeting with the teacher.
the school was empty, it was a free day for the kids, an entire day just for teachers to talk to parents, keep them informed about their children’s progress or any issues they might be facing. everything smelled like disinfectant or crayons, but elena’s classroom was pleasant to look at, so colorful and cheerful. children’s drawings decorated the walls, the alphabet in large letters covered the green chalkboard, and the chairs were way too small… even so, there you both were, in a debatably comfortable silence, waiting for the teacher. ms. forteza, or something like that.
daniela was wearing jeans tighter than usual, her thighs looked so defined it was hard not to stare.
why did she have to show up looking like that to your daughter’s parent-teacher meeting?
the teacher was young, looked freshly out of college, floral dress, pretty, you noticed. you wondered if daniela noticed too, but when she straightened slightly in the tiny chair, you knew she had, and noticed a lot.
“elena’s moms?” the woman’s voice was sweet, her brown hair and almond-shaped eyes bright as she sat in front of you both, though she seemed to fit into that setting better, more used to the tiny chairs and vibrant colors.
“yes, i’m daniela, this is y/n.” dani smiled, her annoyingly deep dimples making you force a polite smile too.
“it’s a pleasure, you can call me sophia,” she said, but she only looked at daniela. only looked at daniela. “elena is very special, very loved by the other students.”
and then she started. she talked a little about what they were studying now, about your daughter’s performance with the new subjects, about how smart and polite she was, how she talked a little too much with her classmates sometimes. she was a good kid, a pride, the biggest pride of your life, maybe one of the only ones. you absorbed every word like a good mother, taking mental notes and paying attention to what the teacher was saying… but you also couldn’t stop noticing the way she seemed to look at your ex-wife with eyes a little too bright, licking her lips every now and then, almost reaching for daniela’s hand over the table during one of her laughs. it was hard to tolerate.
not that you were jealous.
you hadn’t been jealous of daniela in a very, very long time. a little before the marriage ended, actually. daniela was too attractive and too funny, constantly being jealous of her was an energy you had simply chosen to stop wasting, which wouldn’t be a lie to say helped wear down an already exhausted relationship.
but it bothered you. it bothered you a lot, an unpleasant, sharp feeling that killed your good mood and replaced it with bitterness that lasted the entire day. the entire fucking day. and even now, all you could feel was anger, anger at daniela for entertaining the teacher, who, by the way, was flirting with the single mother of one of her students? everything about it was wrong and you couldn’t say anything, of course you couldn’t — daniela would interpret it as jealousy.
under dr. bennett’s serious gaze and daniela’s hopeful one, you were forced to speak.
the smile on daniela’s face was one you hadn’t seen in a while.
“were you jealous of me?”
“no!” the word left your mouth so quickly that daniela’s smile widened a little.
“how did it make you feel, then?” the doctor asked, eyebrows furrowed as if he truly cared, as if two hundred dollars a week were just bureaucracy and he was a friend you could trust.
“it bothered me, that’s all, it just bothered me.”
“so you were jealous?” daniela teased, the little smirk at the corner of her lips almost made you attack her right there without thinking twice.
“shut up.”
before daniela could interrupt with what would definitely be one of her smart comments specifically crafted to annoy you, dr. bennett interrupted first. there was the beginning of a smile on his face, but his eyes were, as almost always, deeply understanding, like a kindergarten teacher making you comfortable enough to ask the silliest question, and that was how you felt, like a child, unwilling to name your own emotions.
“that’s a common feeling, it’s not unusual that this made you uncomfortable,” he said, and you let out a breath through your nose — of course it was natural, daniela was the only girlfriend you had ever had, the only person who had ever been yours, and for such a long time… not feeling bothered watching her flirt back with another woman would actually be too cold of you.
“and daniela…” his eyes turned to her, he adjusted his glasses over his large nose and tilted his head slightly. “if it were the other way around, would you feel the same?”
the smug, extremely irritating smile on her painted lips seemed to disappear for half a second, just that, as if she pictured the scene in her head… and then it came back, as full of certainty as she usually was.
“well, i don’t know… it wasn’t the other way around, doc.” she shrugged.
the doctor quickly understood she wouldn’t answer.
little by little, your angry expression softened, the session continued with more advice on how to raise your daughter — which offended you a little — and softer questions about how your week had been and how the relationship between you two was progressing.
but from the corner of your eye, you could still see the little smile on daniela’s face. that irritated you, irritated you a lot.
the drive back home was like always, except daniela’s car followed closely behind yours. her practice had been canceled because of the holiday weekend and she had the day off, she said she missed elena a lot and wanted to see her again. that, you believed with all your heart, daniela was crazy about elena and you couldn’t imagine what it was like for her to only see her on weekends, but she hadn’t wanted to fight during the divorce the same way you both fought through half the marriage, so she agreed to shared custody with weekends, and it was working, as much as possible.
elena lit up seeing both of her moms arriving home and barely even said goodbye to the babysitter — alison, the neighbor from high school you paid ten dollars an hour to watch elena a few days a week.
it only took fifteen minutes of daniela and elena playing in the bedroom for your daughter to come back with a pout on her lips and big eyes, the same color as daniela’s, with a look very similar to daniela’s whenever she wanted something.
“can i sleep at mami’s house tonight?” she asked.
elena had school the next day, daniela was responsible with homework, science projects and bedtime schedules, but during your married routine, it was always you who woke up earlier to get elena ready for school, dani liked staying in bed for a few extra minutes — they were almost sacred to her. but that was only a habit, a routine. your ex-wife could be extra responsible for one day and wake up thirty minutes earlier, right?
one or two weeks ago, you would’ve said no, mostly to maintain your view of daniela as irresponsible and stupid, the one who kissed another woman in an alley behind a bar and gave you the silent treatment from time to time. but now, your emotions felt more rationalized, and you didn’t see her as a bad person. you were still angry at her, especially because of what happened earlier, but she wasn’t like the villains from the barbie movies you watched with elena.
she wasn’t good or evil, she was just a normal person who made mistakes, many, countless, almost unforgivable ones… and that still didn’t make her your enemy.
therapy was working, fuck.
you said yes, and dani took elena home with a genuine, huge smile, not like the one from the session earlier today that made you want to strangle her with your bare hands, this one made you smile too.
your house became empty, quiet, only the sound of the tv and the dishwasher running while you nearly fell asleep on the couch watching law & order and thinking about what to order for dinner even though it was already late. a few comfortable, pleasant hours passed like that, until you heard the sound of a car parking in front of your house — daniela’s car.
the doorbell rang and you answered it.
dani was there, same clothes from earlier, same makeup, but she looked… different. her eyes looked different, almost guilty, more hopeful, she had come with clear intentions.
“elena forgot a book she wants me to read to her before bed,” she said.
those were definitely not the intentions.
“a book?”
“yeah.”
“elena forgot a book? what book?”
“one with bears. can i come in?”
“one with bears,” you repeated, still holding the door half open. daniela gave a small shrug, but the corner of her mouth twitched like she was trying not to smile.
you stared at her for another second before stepping aside.
“she’s asleep already?”
“megan’s with her,” daniela answered casually, walking inside. she seemed taller, for some reason, not in size but in presence. it was just the two of you, no doctor, no teacher, not even elena… it felt a little strange, but you wouldn’t analyze it now. “they’re probably playing mario kart right now.”
you closed the door slowly, still suspicious, and took a breath without daniela noticing.
“you left elena to come get a bedtime story?”
“yes.” daniela looked over her shoulder simply. “what? is it weird?”
you didn’t answer her. there was something about her tonight. lighter, maybe. confident in a way that made you uneasy. daniela usually came into your house tense nowadays, cautious, like she expected a fight at any second, which was honestly very understandable. tonight, she looked almost calm. like she knew something you didn’t.
that alone irritated you. but you wouldn’t be the annoying ex-wife always looking for a fight and interrogating her. not tonight, at least.
“the book’s upstairs,” you said. “i’ll get it.”
“okay.”
you disappeared upstairs for a minute. either daniela was telling the absolute truth or she knew all of elena’s books by heart, because you found it on the last shelf. when you went back downstairs, daniela was still there, standing like she hadn’t moved since you left. you handed her the book.
she didn’t look at it, she only looked at you. only you.
“what?”
“what?” she repeated. her eyes were different. darker.
you took a breath. you didn’t like how differently she was acting, how she could walk into your living room and act like it was normal to look at you like that. still, despite yourself, you liked the way those honey eyes made you feel perceived, way too perceived.
“i thought we could talk a little,” she murmured softly, but determined.
“about what?”
she was quiet for a second. strangely quiet for daniela.
“you know…” she started slowly, glancing down at the book in her hands before looking back at you. “about what happened today, at lena’s school.”
you frowned a little. you didn’t want to talk about that.
“we don’t have to… if you came here just to make fun of me or something—”
“i’d feel the same way.”
silence.
her voice was honest, raw, shameless, it didn’t waver. she took a step forward, set the book down on the kitchen counter, unable to take her eyes off you. then you noticed it, the familiar look. you loved that look, you had seen it a thousand times before.
desire.
not the usual kind, this one was different, stronger. it was when she got needy, when she treated you like the very oxygen she needed. you loved seeing it after an argument because you knew she would forgive you, or after she watched you with elena and suddenly realized she had married the love of her life. the darkness in her eyes, the dilated pupils, not a single trace of doubt, she wanted what she wanted and she wanted it more than ever. you recognized that look. you knew daniela like the back of your hand. and she knew you too.
“if someone was flirting with you like that? if they kept looking at you that way?” she shook her head lightly. “i would’ve lost my mind.”
you swallowed. she was another step closer.
daniela laughed quietly after saying it, like she couldn’t believe herself either.
“actually, no,” she corrected. another step, you could smell her perfume now. “i wouldn’t even act normal about it. i’d be way worse than you were.”
“why are you telling me this?” your voice was harsh, almost rude. it didn’t affect her, she didn’t even flinch.
she took another step, her eyes so locked on yours that you took one back. she smiled a little, she knew she was affecting you, but her smile wasn’t cocky like usual… it was sweet, like she was happy you were reacting that way. it was working.
“because i know i would like hearing you say it,” she said simply. “you know how i used to get when you were jealous of me.”
oh, you knew. daniela actually loved that, she was nothing but a tease. she wouldn’t flirt, nor entertain other people, but she would spend the whole day smiling if someone flirted with her in front of you. not because she craved other people’s attention, not because she wanted you to know other people wanted her, or any of that… the reason was selfish. she just loved seeing you jealous. all possessive, angry-faced, then even more possessive later, riding her hard and making sure she knew you owned her.
“daniela…” you breathed. it was a warning. or maybe a plea, because if she didn’t stop now, neither would you.
“what?” she took another step closer and you raised a hand just enough to keep the distance of your forearm between you. it didn’t work.
another step closer and she was fully inside your personal space.
“you don’t remember it? i can remind you.” now her voice was almost a whisper, and she was close enough for you to hear every word clearly.
“we can’t.” your voice was firm. just like always, it didn’t mean much to her.
“why not?”
“because… because we’re divorced. you hate me and i hate you, remember?” the firmness in your voice faded, sounding weaker the closer she got, not caring about your hand against her stomach, weakly trying to keep a distance that was already gone. you were pressed against the wall now, it felt cold against your back, but daniela’s presence was warm and she was inches away from fully pressing against your body.
“i don’t hate you.”
“i hate you.”
“you don’t.” her resolve couldn’t be shaken, it seemed. just a little closer and she was fully pressed against you.
you knew you could push her away. daniela was slightly stronger than you, but not by much. daniela would never hurt you physically. daniela would never do anything you didn’t want when it came to sex, and that had been clear as day since you were a teenage girl making out in the backseat of her dad’s car. daniela’s body was so warm and so familiar, it lit up something inside you, like your body called for her, like magnetism. daniela’s breath brushed against your cheek, smelling like mint, like her gloss.
daniela. daniela. daniela.
all you could feel.
but you tried to remember reasons not to give in.
“you cheated on me.”
“i did,” she said. “it doesn’t change what you want right now.” you hated that she was fucking right. you swallowed hard and closed your eyes.
“daniela… you’re just not thinking right now. we have so many issues… so many things to deal with between us.”
“yeah, so many mistakes, right? mine, yours, i don’t care, you can put them all on my tab.” she was completely gone, you knew deep down those words came from a place a little lower than her heart… but they sounded so honest. “i just want you right now.”
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