c-c-c-caius @caius--elsaeid-blog - Tumblr Blog

the-sacrificial-lamb:

He saw the heartbreak burst across Caius’ face and wished he had the strength to sit up and wrap his arms tight around him and just.. chase it all away, somehow. Find a way to cocoon them. He knew Caius would have to leave him here, and though Ben hoped it wouldn’t be until.. well, until after he himself was beyond caring, he knew he wouldn’t blame the man if he left before then. After all, Caius was still strong. There was no reason for him to stay here and put himself at risk just for Ben’s sake.

He’d come back to get him. That one truth reverberated around the inside of Ben’s mind in gentle tones, mystifying him. Against all reason and logic, Caius had defied Bellamy and come back for him. What would happen to him after this? Would he get sent to the basement? Turned into a slave? Ben wouldn’t wish that on anybody, but if he was honest with himself he knew Caius would be able to handle it. He’d always been the strong one. He could go on, and find other reasons to be happy. Hopefully he’d find someone to love him as much as Ben had.

“I love you,” he murmured tiredly, tempted to close his eyes but resisting, because he loved the sight above him. Again, the corner of his mouth tugged up just a little. “You made all of this so.. so worth it.” He blinked slow, never losing his smile even though tears were starting to fill his eyes. “And I’m just.. sorry.. I’m sorry I can’t stay..”

"Shh," he said as soon as Ben started to apologize. He shook his head, unable to take this distance anymore. Gently, he placed Ben's head on the floor and moved to lay down beside him, his arm now taking the place of his leg under Ben's head. "Don't apologize." Gently, he pressed his thumbs against the underside of Ben's eyes, wiping the tears before they fell.

He didn't know what he was going to do. There was no way in hell he was making it out of here without Ben. He had fought too hard for this. He'd climbed up every single hill and conquored every single obstacle. They'd fought everything for each other, including each other. But there was no way Ben was making it out of this alive.

For a moment he thought of all the ways he could join him. Because he didn't ever want to get back up from this spot, not ever. Not if this was where Ben was going to stay.

That was when he heard it. Like God himsef, a thing that Caius didn't even believe in, had heard his plight and had found a way to make it happen. He heard a beeping noise somewhere close to him. Everything went eerily silent, except the sound of the beeping, low and quick. And, of course, the sound of a camera changing angles. Someone was watching.

Most people would feel fear or hate or betrayal or anger. Most people would try to run or get away from what he knew was coming. This was Caius' business. He probably made the very firepower that was settled right beside them at that very moment. Most people would hate themselves for it.

Caius, on the other hand, felt the most wonderful sense of calm he could have imagined. This was nothing like anything he'd ever experienced before, this sense of freedom. No drug had ever given him this. No night of drinking, no chaos. Nothing had ever made him feel so... happy.

"We're gonna go together, okay?" he whispered as he pressed kisses into Ben's mouth. His arms wrapped tight around the other, holding him close, mouth to mouth, muttering against Ben's ashen lips. "I love you. I love you. I love you. It's been so good. Just... just hold onto me for a second, Ben. It's all gonna go away real-"

That was all the more time they had. There was a detonation, one that wasn't terribly huge but it was hot as hell and designed to kill, directly beside the two. It swallowed the two of them, taking them both in the blink of an eye.

#ben #end??#???#??????????????#i'm dead too

the-sacrificial-lamb:

Ben’s vision blurred and his head rocked unsteadily before dropping against Caius’ shoulder as he shuffled them both along. Somehow though, in spite of that and despite the blistering agony that was ripping more holes through his body at every step, he still felt better now that Caius was here. Safer. Warmer, regardless of the chill creeping into his fingers and toes.

Together.

Yes.. they were together now, so in a way - that meant things were alright, didn’t it? The blinding panic was gone. The fear that had been screaming in his head since he’d entered the arena had been quieted now, hushed to a whisper that was almost tranquil. Now it just sounded like Caius’ name.

They didn’t go far and he was so glad about that, because he could feel himself already drifting on the edge of unconsciousness. He felt the warmth of Caius’ leg beneath his head and smiled. He drank the water that was offered, some of it spilling out of the side of his mouth and running down his cheek into his hair. It felt damn good on his parched tongue.

He gazed up at Caius, cracked lips tugging into a smile that was a little bit lopsided. “Hey.. you just said I was beautiful. Make up your mind..” Ben’s fingers somehow found Caius’ fingers again and squeezed them a little. There wouldn’t be anything to do about the wound, but Ben didn’t have the cruelty in him to say so out loud, so he just nodded a little, very content to do nothing more right now than watch Caius’ face and let the comfort of him soothe away the rest of his fear.

Caius had done a good many hard things in his life, but this by far was the hardest. Ben was getting more and more pale by the second and the smell of blood was as thick as fog in the air.

"Alright, real careful now," Caius said, an attempt at soothing the other as he gently tugged his shirt up, careful not to tug or pull on the wound of his shirt had set in it.

All at once the hope had sort of rushed out of Caius like a balloon losing air. The stab wound was deep, there was no way he could fix it himself. Time was not on their side. Nothing was on their side.

Nothing ever had been, though, had it?

"Alright, good job," he said again as he pushed Ben's shirt down and leaned back against the wall, running shaking fingers through familiar, dark hair. "I'm so fucking proud of you," he said, trying as hard as he could to keep the emotion out of his voice. "You did so good. You always have done. From the minute I met you, you were always ten times stronger and more hard headed than me."

#ben

ibuprofen300mg-deactivated20190

“Teach me how to say goodbye.”

@the-sacrificial-lamb

#ben;

@the-sacrificial-lamb

#ben;

stonernico:

You’re going to die if you didn’t come in here with the intent to kill. “You’re going to die if you didn’t come here with the intent to kill. You shouldn’t be here. You should’ve sent something to Ben instead…” Nico’s voice also took a robotic tone, Eyes still wary of the body like it wasn’t the man he’d fallen in love with. He was sure he wasn’t the same Nico, that Caius had fallen in love with. Might as well give him what he wants.

“My parents were in New York. I Didn’t mean to find out… but I did. I couldn’t tell Rigby, though he probably knew. I couldn’t tell you. I just had to try…

I got real close…” Nico paused, a far off look in his eyes. His mouth quirked in a way that could’ve been a small smile.

“You need to get out of here. Find Ben if you think you can make it.”

What happened next was something so far out of Caius' control it was almost like he wasn't there at all. He felt it coming all at once, the confusion and the hurt and the anger and the fear and the sense of dread that was in the pit of his stomach from the moment Nico had left him. It had all built up and, sure, he'd compartmentalized it. He'd tucked it away for a while because, frankly, it wasn't something he was going to be able to deal with. It was an emotion too raw for him to swallow. He'd grow sick with it. And for once, he wanted to get better, not worse.

But here it was, the wound was reopened and the idea of being able to compartmentalize anything was so far out the window it was in another fucking state. He stepped forward, his eyes flashing as his body started to shake. His hands clenched into fists at his sides and he seemed to hunch just a little, like the weight of the world had decided it was time to rest on top of Caius' shoulders all over again.

"You- your parents were in New York?" he asked, cocking his head to the side. "I could have fucking TAKEN YOU!" he roared. Oh, people were watching now. Maybe because it was fun for them, because no one seemed to be taking advantage of the associate standing within their midst having a complete mental breakdown. "I could have taken you, I could have gotten you there and back! You didn't have to... you just... you fucking..."

He turned and ran that same fist hard into a wall, cracking it and breaking a few knuckles in the process. Finally, he turned back to Nico. "Fuck. I was... I fucking looked for you. I waited. I... jesus christ Nico I could have fucking been there for you."

#obviously you dont have to match length i just have a lot of feelings #nico

the-sacrificial-lamb:

Chilled fingers sought out Caius’ hand in the dark and gripped them hard. He didn’t want the man running off again in his anger and leave him here alone, but fortunately Caius abandoned thoughts of revenge without urging, at least for now.

“Yeah.. Yeah, I think so,” he said shakily, using Caius’ arm to start hauling himself up. Up until Caius had appeared, Ben hadn’t thought he could move. He’d been sure he was going to die right here. And while the pain was so bad that he had to muffle his scream against Caius’ shoulder, at least he was upright now.

But then came the next problem: where could they go? There wasn’t anywhere safe in this place. Personally, Ben doubted that he’d even be able to get very far, but he would fucking try now that Caius was here. “Where.. hnn– where should we..,” he mumbled, grimacing in agony and forced to lean heavily on Caius’ side for support now that he was on his feet. “I- I’m not sure what’s around here.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Things were never supposed to just go right for them, were they? It was like the world knew they had just started to be happy, to work through the shit they had started with to create something real for themselves, and instead of helping them along had decided to send them a gut wound and a stupid, simulated war.

He moved to hold Ben up, not liking the way his face seemed to pale even more when he was right side up. They needed to get somewhere and fast. When Ben's mouth hit his shoulder, Caius had to forcibly bite down on his own tongue to stop from crying out too, except he was trying to not burst into tears.

"Doesn't matter," he said as he started to very carefully usher Ben to the side of the room. "Just walk with me, okay? We're gonna be okay. We're together now, yeah? We're gonna... we're gonna be together now."

When they were seated, Caius moved to lay Ben's head in his lap as he cracked the lid to a water bottle he'd pulled out of the backpack he had slung over his shoulder before he left. He carefully tipped the bottle in the other's direction as he pushed some messy, matted hair back from his face. "God you're so beautiful," he croaked. "I'm so fucking lucky." A pause before. "Do you think you can let me look at that wound? I want to see if I can do anything about it, stop the flow of blood or maybe the pain. This pale look isn't great on you, Sharpe."

#ben

the-sacrificial-lamb

#ben;

stonernico:

He turned to the presence, newly acquired knife in his grip, outstretched in the figure’s direction.

He was shaking, heavy. The only thing on his mind was the falseness of it all. there was no way

Caius was here now. He wasn’t there. “What are you doing down here? They’re not letting you down unless you’re planning on killing assets… You can’t be here.”

Nico’s heart was racing, miles a minute and it was all it took not let the blaring pain of his thoughts overtake him. “Why’re you here Caius?”

Caius didn't even hear Nico. He just blinked and took another step forward. "I'm here for Ben, he's in trouble. He's hurt. And I need to get to him." Caius sounded a fair bit like a robot as he answered the questions, but when he spoke next his voice was fraught with emotion.

"Where. The FUCK. Were you? I waited for you. I... I lost my fucking mind for you. And now you’re just... here?”

#nico

leogilles:

Leo knew what this was about. He hadn’t slept, hadn’t eaten, hadn’t showered. He barely remembered to feed their pets, ever since Wyatt got dragged down into that Hell zone.

Of course he knew what this was about. His grip around Caius’ waist was desperate, tight enough to leave bruises behind. “I love you,” he breathed, not daring to pull back just yet. This was goodbye. This was a piece of his life going away, a piece of him. “Don’t go, Caius. Please,” even so, he knew it was a lost battle. He was already crying. “Mum’s gonna be so mad if you miss her birthday, you fucking twat.”

This was absolutely goodbye. Caius knew it in his bones. Something was going to change, something big. They had had a good run. Thinking back on it, on picking his best friend up as he overdosed, on cradling him in the hospital, hell back to the day they met and beat each other up instead of just admitting the attraction they'd found, it all had been worth it. Every single second.

Caius knew he was lucky to know Leo Gilles. He knew he was lucky to have his mother, his sister, his father. He knew at the very core of him that he had found love in this life, love from a family, and that Leo was the root of that.

"I have to go," he said. "Ben's not gonna make it. I cant let him die down there." His voice was muffled by Leo's shirt as he squeezed his best friend with all of his might. "I'll look out for Wyatt too. You stay up here. I love you, okay? I love you. Do not ever forget that I love you now and I always have."

#hoooo boy #leo

the-sacrificial-lamb:

Ben barely knew where he was. The floor still seemed to be rocking underneath him, making it impossible for him to get his bearings. He had no idea how long it had been since he’d moved.

With his cheek pressed numbly against the floor, he felt the vibrations of footsteps and started to open his eyes, only to shut them again when nausea overwhelmed him. Terrible pain was still throbbing through his body, radiating up from behind where his arms were clenched over his stomach. Where Theo had sank his improvised glass dagger.

Then he heard Caius’ voice and gasped– CAIUS– WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE DOING IN HERE!?– but the next second he was letting out an agonized cry and cringing away from the man’s touch. “N-no! Don’t!”

He took a few seconds to breathe, letting the pain recede a little, and shifted his head to squint up at the man’s face, an anguished look on his sickly pale face. “Caius.. Jesus, baby, w-what’re you doing here?”

And then it sunk it, it really, really sunk in, that there was no getting out of this. Look at the blood, he thought to himself. Look at his hands. He's been bleeding. A stomach wound. Fuck.

Caius's hands started shaking as he dropped to his knees and started to look around for something to do, anything he could do. He didn't even notice the chaos around him.

"What happened?" he asked. "Tell me what happened to you? I'm gonna go find the fucker who hurt you and end him. Who was it?"

And then he realized it didn't matter. What mattered in that moment was getting Ben to safety. "Forget it. Can you walk? We need to find some place I can look at your wound."

#ben

Caius banged on Leo's door until his hand was likely broken, screamed until his throat was raw. And when he best friend answered the door, he felt a strange buzzing instead of emotion.

"I love you," he said before leaning in and hugging the other tight. "I love you now and I always have and I wouldn't do a god damn second of this different. You're important. Thank you. Tell mom and Autumn I love them. I'm going in there for Ben."

@leogilles

#leo

There he was.

In the smoke and the noise and the blurr of people, Caius was pretty sure he had imagined it. But he stopped to look at the other for an extended moment and... there was nothing he could do to deny it.

The emotions he felt were too broad to describe. There was anger, sure, it was thick and heavy and it made his tongue feel strange. There was fear. There was anguish. There was sadness. The only thing lacking was joy. He wasn't happy to see Nico, not here, not like this.

His mouth moved before he could stop himself.

"Where the fuck were you?" he asked, taking a few steps towards the other.

@stonernico

#nico

The second it was going around that Bellamy was letting associates in, he knew exactly what he had to do. He had enough of a reputation as someone who had a thirst for chaos it wasn't too hard to convince the people at the sign up desk that he was good for the job.

Sure, there had been warnings. Sure, he knew if he was caught helping, he'd be demoted or killed. But he also knew that little bug eyed fucker had attacked his boy, HIS boy, and had royally fucked him up.

There were rumors that Nico was back too. But that was just not something he could think about for now.

In the time between signing up to go inside and actually making it in, the image inside of the culling was nothing like it had been on TV. He had lost Ben's location entirely and his phone was dead, so he was forced to wander. It was a while before he had run into the guy, but when he did his heart seemed to stop.

"Baby get up," he said as he moved to scoop Ben off of the floor. "C'mon, we gotta hide."

@the-sacrificial-lamb

#ben #saturnalia

the-sacrificial-lamb

SOS ⚠ Caius

caius--elsaeid-blog

the-sacrificial-lamb:

The second time they met. Ben had gotten that head wound in the bombing and he couldn’t remember who Caius was. Very, very slowly the asset’s breathing began to ease as he cast his mind back and remembered. With the taint of their first meeting wiped from his memory, he’d felt that draw toward Caius that day in the makeshift infirmary in the warehouse. He’d known then, in some small and distant way, that he loved him. Even that long ago. Even without knowing who the man was.

“You .. pulled yourself out,” he coughed, pulling in a gasp of air through numb lips. “I just helped you after that.” He concentrated on calming his breathing for a little while after that, still holding onto the phone like it was the only thing keeping him from drowning. Which it definitely was. “I hated you so much that first day,” he said quietly after a while, tone distant as he saw the scene playing out before him. “We were both such dicks.”

"We were dicks," he said as he continued to watch the monitor, trying with all of his might not to press his hand against the screen. "We still are. It's how we cope. Hey, when you get out of there, the first place we're going is to the humane society. Think about what kind of dog you want. Or cat, or whatever. That's what we're gonna do."

He was freaking out internally, but couldn't let that bit show. He needed to hold it together for Ben. "Do me a favor, Ben, take another deep breath and try to listen for me. I'm sending you a package with weapons, it should drop outside of your door soon. I need you to kill whoever you have to. I don't care who. No one touches you, do you understand?"

#ben

the-sacrificial-lamb

SOS ⚠ Caius

caius--elsaeid-blog

the-sacrificial-lamb:

It was silent on the line except for Ben’s ragged gasping. Try as he might he couldn’t get enough oxygen into his lungs. The sensation of suffocating was clouding his mind, blocking out everything else and leaving no room for thoughts of surviving. He was helpless; like a little kid drowning in a pool, with no one around to intervene.

He heard Caius’ voice and the familiar tenor drove the crushing wall of terror by a few inches. Trembling so hard he could barely hold the phone, Ben followed the instructions and found the door. Slipping inside, he pulled it closed behind him and gripped around for a lock – unsuccessfully. He retreated to the far end of the closet and fell over something hard, curling in on himself the second he was on the floor. He gripped the phone so hard to his ear that it hurt and began to sob, nothing coherent at first, but eventually pleading repetitions of Caius’ name.

Luckily enough, this was being broadcast throughout the Tower, so Caius could keep watch of Ben. He didn't need the other guy to speak. He watched his directions being followed and could breath a sigh of relief when he scoped out the room and saw nothing there that could hurt Ben.

"Good, you're doing so good, Ben. I can hear you. Listen to me. I need you to take a deep breath. I've got you, okay? I'm gonna get you out of there. Remember the second time we met? You pulled me out of a burning building, dude. We've got this."

#ben

the-sacrificial-lamb

SOS ⚠ Caius

caius--elsaeid-blog

the-sacrificial-lamb:

Text: where?

Text: where do I go?

Text: jesus christ caius i can’t do this!

Caius stopped texting and instead picked up the phone to call. As soon as he heard Ben's shaky breathing, he started. "I love you. Listen to me. Look in front of you to your left, do you see that door? Someone's pushed a piece of plywood in front of it, knock the plywood to the ground and go inside. It's empty. I want you to hide in there, okay? Can you do that for me?"

#ben

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