All slang is metaphor, and all metaphor is poetry.

Caleb, a fighter and a winner. Don't underestimate me 'cause you'll get a nice surprise. (rp purposes only: bristolskinsrp.tumblr.com)

[itsjeffthomson]

Ansel Elgort with Wes Gordon at the CFDA & Vogue Fashion Funds Dinner [x]

[calebfor-ester-blog]

What would it be?

[jimmckayiii]

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Pardon the way that I stare. There’s nothing else to compare. The sight of you makes me weak. There are no words left to speak, But if you feel like I feel, Please let me know that it’s real. You’re just too good to be true. Can’t take my eyes off you.

[jimmckayiii]

- Muse (Dead Star / In Your World) (2002)

[calebfor-ester-blog]

Making A Mess of Ourselves | @Franky

[frankysfitz]

It had been a while since Caleb saw Franky for the last time. In fact, he had been out of the radar for some time, mainly because he was going nuts about that mole on his back and Mya acting strange. He knew she was busy because she did have a job and well, he hadn’t done good with the stable but was committed to doing it better but still, when she was home, she spent most of her time in her room and he had smelled weed more than once. He had smoken that before but it had been just twice and didn’t really want to get involve with that. Caleb, besides this, wasn’t really ready to talk to Mya about what was happening since he had his own inferno inside his head but was now ready to go out and to be honest, Franky’s message had helped a lot. He still had to pretend about not being worried about cancer coming back because he did not know yet but the least he wanted to do was concerning Franky with his problems when he knew she had her own. Caleb was not like that anyways.

Driving around the city, he had gotten some souvenirs and food since he didn’t want to show up with empty hands. And he didn’t want to look desperate getting to her place in no time like a puppy waiting for someone to scratch its belly. He kept in mind the words she had told him. Slow. He had to go slow with this, no pressure, no singing in the name of love yet. As soon as he thought he had a great group of raws, Caleb drove towards Franky’s. One of the things he hated about his truck was that it was sometimes too big to fit it places to park but he did find a place after five minutes of driving in circles. He would have to carry the bags towards the entrance but they weren’t really heavy. Once he was at the door, he took hold of one bag with his teeth as he tried to open the door, which he did successfully with red fingers and almost breaking bags. Once he took the bag from his mouth and closed the door with his foot, he looked around and smiled. “I’m home! Who’s ready for a food fight?” He chuckled, waiting to hear Franky’s voice. 

Franky knew she could count on Caleb to lighten up her day just a little bit. She figured the two could cook at her house or just hangout. She had been clean for a few weeks now. Not even spliff. Franky was more surprised by herself than anything that she didn’t touch anything or even break just once. She waited for Caleb, who was taking longer than she thought he would. Maybe he was running errands. Either way, she kept busy in the kitchen. Franky had kept up her love of baking in the mean time. Muffins here and there, fresh baked cookies, and some sketches from her drawing sat on the counter. 

She heard the door and popped her head out to see Caleb with bags upon bags. “I’m home! Who’s ready for a food fight?” He laughed and she giggled herself. Franky felt the sudden need to embrace him.. kiss him.. she hadn’t had human contact with anyone but her fathers for the past few weeks. Franky helped by grabbing some bags from his hands and blushing while she looked him up and down with a smile. “Glad you came, been awhile since I’ve seen anyone.” She placed some bags down and reached up on her toes to peck him on the cheek. It felt right. It felt welcoming enough. “So, what did you get?” She pointed to the bags happily.

The welcoming kiss and smile Franky had given him made everything felt alright. The worrying got a second place and he couldn’t help but smile wide. Franky took some bags and Caleb was so distracted by her he almost didn’t notice, otherwise he wouldn’t had let her do so, but then remembered she liked to be independent so he didn’t say a word, even if he felt like a douchebag. “Really? Am I that lucky?” Caleb wiggled his brows and followed her to the kitchen. He looked up and sniffed a couple times. “What’s that smell?” He asked, surprised. It smelled real good. He then looked back at Franky. “Like, you’ve been secluded from society? Whe?” He hoped he wasn’t intruding, it was just that he didn’t feel like she was that type of person. He was used to it but the thought of someone else feeling or being lonely was not conceivable or even possible.

He let out a small chuckle and looked down to the bags he was carying. “Oh, nothing…. everything. There’s some meat, fish, pasta, uhm, some cans of something I forgot and most important…” Caleb settled the bags on the counter and took out a dark bottle. “Wine.” He didn’t drink really, but wine was different, plus, he had read somewhere one glass a day was good for the heart. “Think we can cook something out with this? I’m not the best at picking food…” He made a face, then turned to Franky to kiss her forehead.

“What’s that smell?” Franky grinned and had him follow her into the kitchen. “Did a bit of baking…” She pointed to the various treys of pastries and so on. Caleb explained what was in the bags. Everything needed to make a really, really fancy dinner. Franky felt… normal for once. She smiled when he pulled the wine out, but she felt she should tell him she was trying to keep away from it all. He set it on the counter and Franky giggled quietly when he kissed her forehead. He was so much taller than her. It took moments like that for her to notice. “Think we can cook something out with this? I’m not the best at picking food…” Franky nodded and pulled out her phone to grab an easy recipe.

Maybe now was a good time to explain. “Decided that I needed to work on myself so I’ve been spending time with my dads.” She nodded to herself and pulled up an easy step recipe. “Seafood pasta.” She smiled and looked in the bag then back at her phone. “Shrimp Scampi over Whole-Wheat Spaghetti.” She slid the phone over to him and let their arms touch. “What do you think?”

“A bit of baking?” Caleb grinned once he took a look around. There were cookies all over the place. “I had no idea you liked it.” He turned back to face Franky and watched as she was on the phone. He nodded at what she said and he was glad to hear it. He was curious if the scar was still there, if she was still sad about the ex but hey, it was no time to ask that. He really wanted to keep his questions to himself. Being a constant reminder to her of everything bad in her life didn’t help and she looked at ease and calm today. “Seafood? I’m starting to pull out a little plan to sail. Every thing we do or eat takes us back to the ocean.“ 

He smirked and really started thinking where he could get a yacht or something like that. Caleb took her phone and read the recipe. He felt her skin against his skin and couldn’t help but smile like a dork to the screen. “Yeah, seafood pasta will be.” He handed the phone back to Franky and touched her cheek before heading over to one trey, picking up a cookie. “I’m all yours. Better tell m what to do if you want to keep your kitchen.” He chuckled. Caleb knew how to cook, but just the basics. He had thought about taking cooking lessons but always forgot to search for them. It had been a whle since he had started missing Martha’s meals.

“Seafood? I’m starting to pull out a little plan to sail. Every thing we do or eat takes us back to the ocean.” She smiled at him once she saw his classic smirk. She watched him with the phone, smiling happily to himself. Caleb was a genuine guy.. Franky could see that now, but she still didn’t want to see more than just that. She didn’t want to see the dark side of him, if there even was one. “Yeah, seafood pasta will be.” He touched her cheek and she smiled at the small tickle. “I’m all yours. better tell me what to do if you want to keep your kitchen.” She followed him to the cabinet and pointed to the top. “Strainer for the pasta and pan for the fish.”

Franky wanted to get it right and with her help the dinner wouldn’t be a failure. She went into the bag and pulled out the box of pasta, ingredients and fish. “You can chop vegetables, okay? Think you can manage that.” She scrunched her nose at him and pulled the cutting board, chef knife and the peppers, onions, and the works. “You know how to cut things right?” Franky touched his forearm and slid an onion close to his hand. “Do it… do it.. do it!” She started cheering quietly.

“Of course… I can help reaching the tall cupboards.” Caleb laughed and opened the doors and got what Franky told him to without a problem. He placed those on the counter making room by unbagging the rest he had bought that was not in Franky’s position. He turned to see Franky and narrowed his eyes. “Can I?” He made a sorry face before scrunching his nose as well. “Yeah, I can do that.” He took the cutting board and cleaned it with a cloth before placing the onion Franky had handed him there. He couldn’t help but laugh at her cheering and started to chop the onion. “Don’t laugh if I cry.” He pointed at Franky tried to do it kind of fast, well, at least the faster he could. “Is all the onion okay?” Caleb frowned because that was exactly what he was doing.

He looked up at Franky and got distracted for two seconds and the knife touched his finger so he got a small cut. “Fuck!” He left the knife on the board and looked at his finger. Blood was slightly coming out and he sucked on his finger. “Fuck again!” He made a face since he tasted like onion. “Sorry about the cursing…” He took the cloth and wrapped it around his finger, ready to chop peppers now. “I think I will survive…” He smiled as he lifted the cutting board with all the onion in pieces. “Where do I put this?” Caleb really wanted to help, and it would be better if he could basically cook everything by himself for her, just with her instructions… but he couldn’t even cut vegetables without cutting himself. He chuckled and looked back at Franky.

“All the onion? I.. I guess so?” Franky figured she could bag up the rest and keep it in the fridge for her dads to make something later on. She went about preparing the pans on the stove until she heard Caleb yelp out a swear. “Fuck again!” She turned to see his finger in his mouth and she started to laugh. She didn’t see any on the food or counter, which was fine. “I think I will survive.” She smirked, “Thank god. I was about to ring the ambulance.” She joked and picked up the sprayed pan for him to place the onions in. “Here. And get yourself a bandage maybe, or just rinse off the blood.” She pointed to the sink.

“Next will be chopped up spinach, some peppers, and you can take your time on these. I’ll sauté the fish and put some spice on it.” Franky grinned and turned her back to him. She had the spices all out, one teaspoon of this, one tablespoon of that, blah blah blah. It was all easy to keep it going and with Caleb chopping and placing it all in the pan, it would be a lot faster. Then it came time to boil some pasta. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever done this with anyone before….” She turned toward him after she finished her prepping for the fish and stared at him. Franky couldn’t stop smiling around him and that much was apparent to her and him. “You’re done, slide the rest of the veggies in the pan with the fish and then we wait.“ 

Caleb nodded obediently and with the enormous knife’s help, he placed some of the chopped onion on the pan and the rest, he put aside. He did what she told him about the cut, wshing his hands and all, making faces until he was done. He took the other vegetables but stopped and looked at Franky with a raised brow. “Sauté? Now you’re talking to me in some other language?” He grinned and got back to his task. He definitely didn’t know any terms related to the kitchen. He was getting a nice pile of green and all, being careful with his finger and taking it easy as Franky did her thing.

What she had said caught his attention and he stopped again. “Really?” He asked with soft voice. He was pretty much surprised to hear that. He hadn’t done this before with girls but… he didn’t know, it just surprised him. They stared at each other and he smiled at her, studying her eyes and her smile, fighting the urge to stroke her face since it would be disgusting and not romantic at all. He licked his lips and leaned forwards to place a kiss on her cheek. “I like that smile of yours.” He whispered and then stood straight, lifted the board and repeating the action done before. As they had to wait, he went back to the sink and washed his hands, dried them and put his arms around Franky from behind. “Your dads taught you to cook?” 

Franky closed her eyes involuntarily when he kissed her cheek. It felt like all the issues melted away. Caleb was a literal knight in shining armor and it terrified her. Such a good guy didn’t deserve to be around someone like her. Even if she was trying to make things better, she wasn’t doing… better. “I like that smile of yours.” She blushed and choked on her words. It caught her off guard. “Thanks.” Franky needed up whispering back as she watched him carefully. Washing hands. Drying hands. Wrapping hands. She smiled and tucked her lips behind her teeth. Was this normal? Was this what normal people did while dating? Were they on that path? Franky couldn’t stop stupidly smiling to herself.

“My.. My dads? I mean, yeah. For the most part. Their library is full of cooking recipes and books.” She felt her voice shake from nerves. Franky wasn’t this nervous around him before, but her clear mind got her thinking too hard. She peeked at the food and sat back smiling to herself with Caleb behind her. “They mostly taught me how to bake, which… from the kitchen you can see. Cakes, cookies, muffins, cupcakes… literally anything you can think of… I mean when’s your birthday? I can whip up anything for it. Anything.” She turned her head to see him slightly. 

Caleb frowned when she answered shyly. “Did my comment made you feel uncomfortable?” Maybe she didn’t like compliments, who knew, it could be. However, she shook it off easily and continued to talk about the kitchen, to which the guy listened pretty carefully and he chuckled. “You’re lucky I have a big stomach so all you baked is not going to waste. I mean, I’m not going to eat everything but I want to, everything looks delicious.” He looked around and sniffed. All still smelled great and their dinner was starting to smell pretty good too.

“My birthday? You know, I don’t feel very comfortable telling it because most people guess my age…” He joked and licked his lips. Sometimes it was hard to remember it since he had spent many years without celebrating it since all the cancer situation had made him grumpy and very angry. “A month and two weeks from now. I think… okay, it’s better with the day. April the 8. What are you planning to do? I generally don’t like surprises but this is different.” He smiled and walked around her to face her now. “Yours? I can’t bake but I’ll do my best.” Caleb smirked and wiggled his brows. Just a split second after, he was looking down at her lips. He swallowed and looked down, still with a smile on his face. Kissing her, even giving her a small kiss counted as putting her under pressure? Because he really didn’t want that to happen and didn’t know if she wanted. 

“My birthday? You know, I don’t feel very comfortable telling it because most people guess my age…” She smiled at him. He was so joyful about everything, it was contagious. Franky needed this more in her life. It was apparent that he was actually helping a lot more than anyone else she had ever been around. Mates? She hadn’t heard from most of them in ages, besides Nick. "A month and two weeks from now. I think… okay, it’s better with the day. April the 8. What are you planning to do? I generally don’t like surprises but this is different.“ She smiled slyly at him and gripped the counter as she stood up on her toes. "You don’t have to do anything but try to enjoy it.” Franky looked at him and her smile started to fall. The two were experiencing something she had felt before with another person. Curiosity.. want… She stood up more on her toes and moved closer to him. Her smile grew, ear to ear. Franky hopped up on the counter and moved even closer to him. Their noses brushed and Franky pressed her lips onto his.

She surprisingly missed this feeling. She really missed this feeling, not necessarily with Caleb, but being close and touched. Franky smiled against his lips and kissed him again. Her eyes were closed sleepily as they parted but stayed close. “Don’t hold back.. I can see it in your eyes, Caleb.” She whispered and touched the side of his face. Her fingers danced down his jaw and Franky tilted her head to look closely at him.

His father had told him about making the first move for like, a hundred times, and for the second time, with Franky, she was the one making it instead of him. Caleb felt like a douche in that aspect but, on the other hand, he felt pretty good with Franky getting closer to him, greatly nervous but wanting it so badly. She was smiling big and he did the same for a moment, before the smile faded. It was not because he was uncomfortable, but maybe the feeling was overwhelming and kind of scared him. He closed his eyes and the sudden touch of her lips and put his hands on her waist. His breathing was getting slower but his heart was racing. He let his mind take the moment in but Franky’s lips surprised him again, forming that smile back on his face.

A chuckle escaped his lips and he opened his eyes, narrowing them as one hand traveled up to the back of her head, positioning it as it was before. His nose rubbed hers a couple times as his eyes kept on staring her delicate lips. “I have to or I won’t be able to let you go until your dads come in and they shoot my arse out of here.” He whispered and licked his lips once again. He had in mind they were alone and even if he had control on himself, he had to be realistic: he hadn’t been in a sexual intercourse for a very long time, not that he was thinking of that but he had dangerous spots and weaknesses. Caleb scrunched his nose whole his thumb stroked Franky’s bottom lip. “But no, I can’t hold back anymore…” He pressed his lips against hers as his hands cupper her face. She was so tiny he feared he could hurt her so his grip was soft. Then, he was lost, kissing her and just thinking of that, nothing else.

She cracked a smile. Franky didn’t plan on it going this far at all, not even more than a peck really. She couldn’t just do whatever she wanted without consequence. Franky wouldn’t let it continue or she would for now? “I have to or I won’t be able to let you go until your dads come in and they shoot my arse out of here.” She smiled but it was rubbed away with Caleb’s thumb. Then it grew back again. “But no, I can’t hold back anymore…” He kissed her and pulled her closely. Franky nearly slid off the counter moving to touch his lips again with hers. Being lost this embrace was perfect. Just for now. Franky felt normal and not so sorry for herself. They kissed again. Double over and over. She suddenly heard the stove pop and her eyes shot open.

Franky moved away quickly and jumped off the counter. “Shit!” She pulled the pan from the burner and set it on the counter. Her hand burned and she shook it before sticking the front of her palm in her mouth. “Shit, shit, shit.” She muttered again before turning all the burners off. “I think we’ve burned… I think I’ve burned the fish…” She turned the sink on and shoved her hand under the cold water. “Shit..” 

That damn stove. Caleb had completely forgot about it until Franky nearly pulled his lip from his face and he heard that peculiar noise. He moved away so she could make her way towards the pan as he grimaced, touching his mouth while he stared at the smoke going up. “Shit…” he whispered too and moved to where Franky was to make sure the burn was not a serious one. “Is your hand okay?” He looked over her but the running water didn’t let him see. Despite it, he grinned and started to laugh. Fish. The fish was all black and it was his fault, not that he had done it on purpose. Curious, Caleb looked inside the pan and laughed again. “I can’t believe this. I told you, the kitchen and I don’t get along but now I think it really dislike my presence in here.” He hoped Franky would take it as it was, an accident and something comical.

Caleb folded his arms and shook his head. “Guess our pasta will no longer have fish in it.” He went back to where Franky was and extended his hand so she could put hers on it so he could look at the burnt. “Martha, my dad’s soon-to-be wife taught me a pretty hilarious trick to calm this down. Once I burned my fingers trying to help her get ready for a dinner, I grabbed this thing she uses to straighten her hair and since I screamed so loud, she went down to the kitchen, grabbed an egg, cracked it and dipped my fingers in it. The pain was relieved less than second after that.” He smiled at Franky and coughed a little by th small amount of smoke and the smell, waving his hand to make it disappear. “I’m sorry I made you burn the fish. Maybe we could still eat something of it, don’t you think?” He raised a brow and looked over at the pan, laughing once more.

“I can’t believe this. I told you, the kitchen and I don’t get along but now I think it really dislike my presence in here.” Franky started to laugh under her breath as she ran the cold water on her palm. "Guess our pasta will no longer have fish in it.” He walked over and she glanced at the finished pasta. “No harm done.” She lifted her hand from the water. There was a circular burn but nothing serious, maybe a little stinging but she’d survive. “I’ve dealt with worse, I’ll live.” She tried to smile at Caleb, but it only made her think of a dreaded time back at his flat. The carving in her side. She pressed her hand near her side and shook her head. Caleb explained the egg trick and she pointed to the fridge. “Get me an egg then oh wise one.”

Franky shook her wet hand off in the sink and grabbed a bowl from the dishwasher. Clean of course. “The fish is dead to us now Caleb, we can only survive off pasta.” She smiled and saw the egg in his hand. “Crack it and let’s get it going.” Franky placed her hand flat in the bowl waiting for him. Her eyes never left his face. Some natural remedy, it was cute. Everything about Caleb was down right adorable and she couldn’t even fathom how he was an actual person. Everyone in the world was evil, really, really evil. Franky thought that way, and she even thought that she was too. Screw giving people the benefit of the doubt and assuming everyone was inherently good. But then there was Caleb. “Cal..” She stopped realizing she just made a nickname for him. “Uhm, anyway, I know… I know you have a story and it’s a long one, but why are you so nice? Literally, the nicest person I’ve ever met. You’re making me less cynical.”

Caleb lifted his index and walked backwards to where the fridge was. It was not hard to find an egg so he just took one and closed the door, shaking the thing as if it had something that would sound inside it. He then cracked the egg on the bowl and saw as it went on Franky’s hand. He placed the shell on the side and rubbed gently the viscous membrane on her palm and then looked at her with a soft smile on his face. “This will do it.” He winked an eye at her and took the shell to throw it away and keep the kitchen clean at least, now that the fish was more than dead. Once it was done, Caleb went back to where Franky was, mainly because she was asking him something. He kept his eyes on her and shrugged, still smiling because of the nickname given to him.

“Well… let’s say I was not the best person when I was younger. My mum died… and I decided to blame my dad… everyone, really. Did some things I’m not proud of, Then I got sick… the friends I thought were my friends left me, but… this boy… help me, my dad… he was always there and so was his girlfriend and when…” he narrowed his eyes and blinked a couple times, looking away. “when I thought I was gonna die, it… it changed me. When I lost my leg… first I was pretty angry and depressed but then, I mean, I was alive. Met a lot of sick people at the hospital and all of them were fighters and didn’t complain, even if they knew they just… had weeks. My life changed from one day to another and it opened my eyes, you know? They never let me give up so now I don’t let anyone give up.” There was a great story behind all of this. He didn’t share it with anyone because no one had asked him like she had. Caleb looked at Franky and licked his lips. “My mum was not sick or anything, if you know what I mean… and also, without my cousin, I wouldn’t be here, I think.”

Franky smiled when he got the egg started on her burn. It felt a lot better already. Then Caleb started his story. Not a happy one and it was something she knew about in a way. ”Well… let’s say I was not the best person when I was younger. My mum died… and I decided to blame my dad… everyone, really. Did some things I’m not proud of, Then I got sick… the friends I thought were my friends left me, but… this boy… help me, my dad… he was always there and so was his girlfriend and when… when I thought I was gonna die, it… it changed me. When I lost my leg… first I was pretty angry and depressed but then, I mean, I was alive. Met a lot of sick people at the hospital and all of them were fighters and didn’t complain, even if they knew they just… had weeks. My life changed from one day to another and it opened my eyes, you know? They never let me give up so now I don’t let anyone give up.” She listened and let her hand sit in the bowl. She wanted to hear more of his story, but she was thankful that he actually was sharing this information. Lost leg. Thought he was dying. Franky felt a sudden sadness flow over her.

There was a light at the end of the tunnel, but she felt terrible. Caleb went into a deeper scare than anyone he had ever known. “You’re brave.” She looked at him then back down at her soaking hand. “Do you ever get scared though?” She wasn’t sure if she was crossing a line or not. Franky’s curiosity always got the best of her. “I mean… do you ever get scared that you’ll get sick again?” Franky feared a lot of things about herself more than what the outside world could do. 

Caleb smirked and shook his head. He was forced to be brave when actually he was scared to death. He chuckled and leaned against the counter. “Of course I do, I mean, I wouldn’t be human if I wasn’t, don’t you think? I just don’t let it control me, I rather have faith.” One think he knew was that he had been blessed. He was not part of the ones who had sadly died confined to their beds or who had spent infernal weeks or months fithing fot their lives at the hospital. He was worried now. Since he had spotted than brown stain on his back, Caleb had feared the worst, but nothing had changed, he hadn’t feel sick so he was positive about it. He got closer to Franky and kissed her temple. “Everything’s fine now. And we better take your hand out before it gets all rigid. Does it feel better?” 

Faith. Franky wasn’t one in that aspect and it didn’t bother her that Caleb was. To each their own. Caleb kissed the side of her head and she looked down at the bowl. “Everything’s fine now. And we better take your hand out before it gets all rigid. Does it feel better?” She nodded and pulled her hand from the bowl and started to rinse the egg off her hand. “It actually feels loads better…” She inspected the small burn on the side of her hand and shrugged. “Only hurts if we touch it, so that shouldn’t be a problem.” Franky smiled at him and turned toward the food they had made. “I guess pasta it is then. Take a seat at the counter.” Franky touched his arm on the way toward the pot of food and placed two portions in two bowls. Cheese, seasoning, a bit of olive oil and spinich, this was good to go. She walked back slowly and placed the food in front of him, then took the seat open to his side. “If it tastes terrible, there is always a nandos down the street. Don’t hold back on the criticisms.” Franky handed him a fork and smiled. 

“Of course, mademoiselle.” Caleb washed his hands as well and walked towards the counter, pulling two seats open and didn’t take a seat until Franky came with the food. He laughed and shook his head. “I won’t but I’m pretty sure it’s good.” He thanked her for the fork and took some noodles. It smelled good and usually when it smelled good, it tasted good. Eating now his bite, he nodded as he chewed, looking at Franky while doing so. “Don’t think Nando’s a good idea. I really liked this.” Caleb took a napkin and cleaned the corners of his lips. “Don’t even need the fish. It’s real good.”

Caleb picked up some more food and discovered a weird, gummy consistence in his mouth. He knew the flavour and everything, so he made a face, took another napkin, turned his head to the opposite side so Franky wouldn’t see and spat the piece on the paper. “I hate octopus. Why did I bring octopus?” Caleb took a glass and stood up to serve himself some water. Looking over his shoulder, he noticed Franky needed one too. Wine would be saved for later on the day or some other time since she didn’t want to drink and it was fine. He downed the water before refilling the glass and setting them in front of their bowls. “Despite all of our little accidents, I think we did good. Well, you did good.” Caleb sat down again and kept on eating. 

“Don’t think Nando’s a good idea. I really liked this. Don’t even need the fish. It’s real good.” She chuckled between small bites. Caleb, what are you doing… “What… octopus?” She looked at him confused. Franky realized she hadn’t been listening for a bit, just staring at him. He grabbed them some new water and Franky appreciated it with a smile. “Thank you.” Franky mumbled behind her hand so she wouldn’t be rude. “Despite all of our little accidents, I think we did good. Well, you did good.” Her cheeks filled with red and she nodded. “Not bad I guess.” She had finished her small portion and decided she’d clean up the mess later. They had all the time in the world right now.

Caleb’s plate was done and she grabbed his so he wouldn’t have to get up. Things in the dishwasher, pots soaking in the water, and she was done. Franky wiped her hands on the towel and stood across the counter from Caleb. “Thanks for coming here. I… I want to keep hanging out, like this more. If you’d want. Even a movie or just something simple. A walk in the night, building something. I’d really, really like to get to know you more.” Franky leaned on the counter. She was blushing still, but she felt she had to say it. 

Caleb smiled at her but was confused. It was as she wasn’t paying attention, a bit distracted, but soon it all went back to normal. He finished what was left on the bowl and grabbed another napkin to clean his mouth. He was about to get up and put it in the sink but Franky was faster. He stared at her with fascination, as if she had done something really surprising. “Don’t thank me, I mean, thank you for inviting me over.” He got up from his chair and walked towards her, taking a step forward with every sentence she said. He chuckled and stood in front of her, not so close so he could look at her face and so she didn’t have to look up at him. “Are you seriously asking me that? If I’d want?” Caleb smirked. “I want to know you more as well, thought it was clear.” He grabbed Franky’s head gently and pressed his lips against her forehead.

”This means I should go for the day? Or maybe we could watch a movie now… whatever you please, whatever there is to do here or maybe outside if you want to go out. I’m all yours today.” He was combing her hair with his fingers. One way or another, he couldn’t hide how much he was into Franky. He could be himself without being afraid of judgements. She didn’t mind his leg or the little she knew about his past. She liked to spend time with him when not even Mya seem to lately. “What do you say?” 

“Are you seriously asking me that? If I’d want? I want to know you more as well, thought it was clear.” Franky melted at his small kiss on her forehead. This was what attraction was supposed to be. It wasn’t something she was chasing. It wasn’t a thrill or a jolt of adrenaline like it had been. This was comforting and Franky actually felt comfortable. She had never felt this comfortable around anyone before. Caleb ran his mouth and Franky just stared at it. Whatever he was saying just sounded like noise. She was so lost. For that moment, she realized how into him she was. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to tell him he was special. She wanted to make something of this, but making that move forward scared her. “What do you say?” Caleb snapped her thoughts back and she smiled at him. “Movie.” She gripped his arm slightly and led him toward the stairs.

Three flights, they were up in her room and she was flipping the light on. Franky let Caleb soak in what he could of her room. It was a mess of half of Franky and half of her dad’s trying to erase some bad parts of Franky. Since she had been back from Oxford, she had actually gotten used to decorating her room again. “Right, so I have my laptop and literally anything we can choose from. I’m sort of a computer nerd… know the backgrounds of how to get to good streams of.. don’t worry about it. Pick a genre.” Franky stood up and sat on he bed, leaving room for Caleb to sit next to her. 

The choice was made. Caleb got to spend more time with Franky, time alone with her, no strangers around them, noises to distract them from the film. If he remembered well, houses were supposed to have a telly room downstairs, but Caleb was no architect and that wasn’t exactly a rule, was it? His feet moved along with his body as he was being led upstairs. He didn’t know what was happening to him but he started to feel nervous, in a good way. This was more of her territory now and he stared at the room when he realized where they were. Nothin big, it was just a room, didn’t mean anything, or did it? He got caught by some photographs, vinyls, some white walls and some others already started to be covered. Caleb smiled.

“Your room is odd.” He said with a smirk, looking at the back of her head as she walked inside and talked about her laptop. “Sure this is yours? I mean, it’s… you and, then… not you. Like a weird mix. I like the colored part.” He glance around before his eyes stopped on Franky again, sitting on the bed. He walked towards her and took a seat. What movie to choose? Honestly, he was so focused on Franky and their surroundings, the least he was thinking about was some film. “Genre… right. Uhm… fan of horror movies? Tell me you get scared easily so I could get an excuse to hold you throughout it. Or maybe if it’s not scary at all, you could fake it.” Caleb chuckled, wiggling his brows up and down as his hand reached for her smaller one, his fingers playing with hers.    

“Sure this is yours? I mean, it’s… you and, then… not you. Like a weird mix. I like the colored part.” She laughed under her breath. “That part is me. Used to be all like that.” Caleb was sweet and making her really nervous.The way he was looking at her made her heart beat faster. Fight or flight. She was worried she’d run faster… “Genre… right. Uhm… fan of horror movies? Tell me you get scared easily so I could get an excuse to hold you throughout it. Or maybe if it’s not scary at all, you could fake it.” Another smile that made hers show. “I love horror movies and I can pretend to be afraid just for you. I guess.” Franky stood up and grabbed her laptop. Browsing through the collection of old movies she had, she settled on a classic. “Hope you like Jason.” She smiled and set the computer at the end of the bed. 

This wasn’t her ideal situation, but she wanted it to be? Franky wanted to be close to Caleb, even closer than this but she didn’t know how to express it. Something felt off in her head, like she had tried and failed at this so many times before that it wasn’t worth it. She was second guessing again. Franky pulled her knees to her chest and rested her head on his tall shoulder. “We don’t really have to watch the movie in silence you know? We can talk, because… I usually don’t like talking to people but you make me want to.”

[calebfor-ester-blog]

“I figured. Why is it no longer like that? Your parents took your room when you got into Uni?” Caleb smiled at her and chuckled at her answer about horror films. He stared at her as she was far from the bed. There was no lust in it, he just liked her frame, the back of her neck, even how she stood and how she moved her feet while she wasn’t moving. He found her beyond beautiful. Her looks and the way she was dressed up at that Peter Pan party caught his attention but she was much more than that, really. Much more. When she walked towards the bed and sat again, he didn’t fake he wasn’t looking at her. “Jason? Yeah, that would work. If I scream, you can hug me too.” He laughed and turned to watch the movie, moving on the bed so they could be comfortable. He had to be careful with his prosthesis. Wouldn’t be pretty if it fell on the floor in the middle of a horror film. His head tocuhed hers now that it was on his shoulder. He felt something in his stomach but couldn’t tell what that is. But he was sure he hadn’t feel it in a long time.

“Good to know. I’m not the most quiet person in a room theatre. I have to comment on the movie or I’m not happy.” His voice was lower than normal so they could still listen the dialogues. “Can I tell you a secret?” Caleb licked his lips and turned his head slightly so he could see Franky. He smiled widely and looked down. “This is embarrasing, but here it goes.” He looked at her in the eye. By how they were sitting, they faces were pretty close now. “You have me all nervous here. Like... I’m usually always smiling but it happens more when I’m with you... don’t know if it is because... I feel happy or because I’m extremely nervous. Maybe both. Now I’m sure I’m all red. I’m going to watch the movie now...” He was being all awkward, a broad smile on his face. He placed another kiss on her cheek but he couldn’t really keep his eyes off of her. 

[itsnot-anselelgort]

Outtakes from Ansel Elgort’s Seventeen Magazine photoshoot.

[calebfor-ester-blog]

Making A Mess of Ourselves | @Franky

[frankysfitz]

It had been a while since Caleb saw Franky for the last time. In fact, he had been out of the radar for some time, mainly because he was going nuts about that mole on his back and Mya acting strange. He knew she was busy because she did have a job and well, he hadn’t done good with the stable but was committed to doing it better but still, when she was home, she spent most of her time in her room and he had smelled weed more than once. He had smoken that before but it had been just twice and didn’t really want to get involve with that. Caleb, besides this, wasn’t really ready to talk to Mya about what was happening since he had his own inferno inside his head but was now ready to go out and to be honest, Franky’s message had helped a lot. He still had to pretend about not being worried about cancer coming back because he did not know yet but the least he wanted to do was concerning Franky with his problems when he knew she had her own. Caleb was not like that anyways.

Driving around the city, he had gotten some souvenirs and food since he didn’t want to show up with empty hands. And he didn’t want to look desperate getting to her place in no time like a puppy waiting for someone to scratch its belly. He kept in mind the words she had told him. Slow. He had to go slow with this, no pressure, no singing in the name of love yet. As soon as he thought he had a great group of raws, Caleb drove towards Franky’s. One of the things he hated about his truck was that it was sometimes too big to fit it places to park but he did find a place after five minutes of driving in circles. He would have to carry the bags towards the entrance but they weren’t really heavy. Once he was at the door, he took hold of one bag with his teeth as he tried to open the door, which he did successfully with red fingers and almost breaking bags. Once he took the bag from his mouth and closed the door with his foot, he looked around and smiled. “I’m home! Who’s ready for a food fight?” He chuckled, waiting to hear Franky’s voice. 

Franky knew she could count on Caleb to lighten up her day just a little bit. She figured the two could cook at her house or just hangout. She had been clean for a few weeks now. Not even spliff. Franky was more surprised by herself than anything that she didn’t touch anything or even break just once. She waited for Caleb, who was taking longer than she thought he would. Maybe he was running errands. Either way, she kept busy in the kitchen. Franky had kept up her love of baking in the mean time. Muffins here and there, fresh baked cookies, and some sketches from her drawing sat on the counter. 

She heard the door and popped her head out to see Caleb with bags upon bags. “I’m home! Who’s ready for a food fight?” He laughed and she giggled herself. Franky felt the sudden need to embrace him.. kiss him.. she hadn’t had human contact with anyone but her fathers for the past few weeks. Franky helped by grabbing some bags from his hands and blushing while she looked him up and down with a smile. “Glad you came, been awhile since I’ve seen anyone.” She placed some bags down and reached up on her toes to peck him on the cheek. It felt right. It felt welcoming enough. “So, what did you get?” She pointed to the bags happily.

The welcoming kiss and smile Franky had given him made everything felt alright. The worrying got a second place and he couldn’t help but smile wide. Franky took some bags and Caleb was so distracted by her he almost didn’t notice, otherwise he wouldn’t had let her do so, but then remembered she liked to be independent so he didn’t say a word, even if he felt like a douchebag. “Really? Am I that lucky?” Caleb wiggled his brows and followed her to the kitchen. He looked up and sniffed a couple times. “What’s that smell?” He asked, surprised. It smelled real good. He then looked back at Franky. “Like, you’ve been secluded from society? Whe?” He hoped he wasn’t intruding, it was just that he didn’t feel like she was that type of person. He was used to it but the thought of someone else feeling or being lonely was not conceivable or even possible.

He let out a small chuckle and looked down to the bags he was carying. “Oh, nothing…. everything. There’s some meat, fish, pasta, uhm, some cans of something I forgot and most important…” Caleb settled the bags on the counter and took out a dark bottle. “Wine.” He didn’t drink really, but wine was different, plus, he had read somewhere one glass a day was good for the heart. “Think we can cook something out with this? I’m not the best at picking food…” He made a face, then turned to Franky to kiss her forehead.

“What’s that smell?” Franky grinned and had him follow her into the kitchen. “Did a bit of baking…” She pointed to the various treys of pastries and so on. Caleb explained what was in the bags. Everything needed to make a really, really fancy dinner. Franky felt… normal for once. She smiled when he pulled the wine out, but she felt she should tell him she was trying to keep away from it all. He set it on the counter and Franky giggled quietly when he kissed her forehead. He was so much taller than her. It took moments like that for her to notice. “Think we can cook something out with this? I’m not the best at picking food…” Franky nodded and pulled out her phone to grab an easy recipe.

Maybe now was a good time to explain. “Decided that I needed to work on myself so I’ve been spending time with my dads.” She nodded to herself and pulled up an easy step recipe. “Seafood pasta.” She smiled and looked in the bag then back at her phone. “Shrimp Scampi over Whole-Wheat Spaghetti.” She slid the phone over to him and let their arms touch. “What do you think?”

“A bit of baking?” Caleb grinned once he took a look around. There were cookies all over the place. “I had no idea you liked it.” He turned back to face Franky and watched as she was on the phone. He nodded at what she said and he was glad to hear it. He was curious if the scar was still there, if she was still sad about the ex but hey, it was no time to ask that. He really wanted to keep his questions to himself. Being a constant reminder to her of everything bad in her life didn’t help and she looked at ease and calm today. “Seafood? I’m starting to pull out a little plan to sail. Every thing we do or eat takes us back to the ocean.“ 

He smirked and really started thinking where he could get a yacht or something like that. Caleb took her phone and read the recipe. He felt her skin against his skin and couldn’t help but smile like a dork to the screen. “Yeah, seafood pasta will be.” He handed the phone back to Franky and touched her cheek before heading over to one trey, picking up a cookie. “I’m all yours. Better tell m what to do if you want to keep your kitchen.” He chuckled. Caleb knew how to cook, but just the basics. He had thought about taking cooking lessons but always forgot to search for them. It had been a whle since he had started missing Martha’s meals.

“Seafood? I’m starting to pull out a little plan to sail. Every thing we do or eat takes us back to the ocean.” She smiled at him once she saw his classic smirk. She watched him with the phone, smiling happily to himself. Caleb was a genuine guy.. Franky could see that now, but she still didn’t want to see more than just that. She didn’t want to see the dark side of him, if there even was one. “Yeah, seafood pasta will be.” He touched her cheek and she smiled at the small tickle. “I’m all yours. better tell me what to do if you want to keep your kitchen.” She followed him to the cabinet and pointed to the top. “Strainer for the pasta and pan for the fish.”

Franky wanted to get it right and with her help the dinner wouldn’t be a failure. She went into the bag and pulled out the box of pasta, ingredients and fish. “You can chop vegetables, okay? Think you can manage that.” She scrunched her nose at him and pulled the cutting board, chef knife and the peppers, onions, and the works. “You know how to cut things right?” Franky touched his forearm and slid an onion close to his hand. “Do it… do it.. do it!” She started cheering quietly.

“Of course… I can help reaching the tall cupboards.” Caleb laughed and opened the doors and got what Franky told him to without a problem. He placed those on the counter making room by unbagging the rest he had bought that was not in Franky’s position. He turned to see Franky and narrowed his eyes. “Can I?” He made a sorry face before scrunching his nose as well. “Yeah, I can do that.” He took the cutting board and cleaned it with a cloth before placing the onion Franky had handed him there. He couldn’t help but laugh at her cheering and started to chop the onion. “Don’t laugh if I cry.” He pointed at Franky tried to do it kind of fast, well, at least the faster he could. “Is all the onion okay?” Caleb frowned because that was exactly what he was doing.

He looked up at Franky and got distracted for two seconds and the knife touched his finger so he got a small cut. “Fuck!” He left the knife on the board and looked at his finger. Blood was slightly coming out and he sucked on his finger. “Fuck again!” He made a face since he tasted like onion. “Sorry about the cursing…” He took the cloth and wrapped it around his finger, ready to chop peppers now. “I think I will survive…” He smiled as he lifted the cutting board with all the onion in pieces. “Where do I put this?” Caleb really wanted to help, and it would be better if he could basically cook everything by himself for her, just with her instructions… but he couldn’t even cut vegetables without cutting himself. He chuckled and looked back at Franky.

“All the onion? I.. I guess so?” Franky figured she could bag up the rest and keep it in the fridge for her dads to make something later on. She went about preparing the pans on the stove until she heard Caleb yelp out a swear. “Fuck again!” She turned to see his finger in his mouth and she started to laugh. She didn’t see any on the food or counter, which was fine. “I think I will survive.” She smirked, “Thank god. I was about to ring the ambulance.” She joked and picked up the sprayed pan for him to place the onions in. “Here. And get yourself a bandage maybe, or just rinse off the blood.” She pointed to the sink.

“Next will be chopped up spinach, some peppers, and you can take your time on these. I’ll sauté the fish and put some spice on it.” Franky grinned and turned her back to him. She had the spices all out, one teaspoon of this, one tablespoon of that, blah blah blah. It was all easy to keep it going and with Caleb chopping and placing it all in the pan, it would be a lot faster. Then it came time to boil some pasta. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever done this with anyone before….” She turned toward him after she finished her prepping for the fish and stared at him. Franky couldn’t stop smiling around him and that much was apparent to her and him. “You’re done, slide the rest of the veggies in the pan with the fish and then we wait." 

Caleb nodded obediently and with the enormous knife’s help, he placed some of the chopped onion on the pan and the rest, he put aside. He did what she told him about the cut, wshing his hands and all, making faces until he was done. He took the other vegetables but stopped and looked at Franky with a raised brow. “Sauté? Now you’re talking to me in some other language?” He grinned and got back to his task. He definitely didn’t know any terms related to the kitchen. He was getting a nice pile of green and all, being careful with his finger and taking it easy as Franky did her thing.

What she had said caught his attention and he stopped again. “Really?” He asked with soft voice. He was pretty much surprised to hear that. He hadn’t done this before with girls but… he didn’t know, it just surprised him. They stared at each other and he smiled at her, studying her eyes and her smile, fighting the urge to stroke her face since it would be disgusting and not romantic at all. He licked his lips and leaned forwards to place a kiss on her cheek. “I like that smile of yours.” He whispered and then stood straight, lifted the board and repeating the action done before. As they had to wait, he went back to the sink and washed his hands, dried them and put his arms around Franky from behind. “Your dads taught you to cook?” 

Franky closed her eyes involuntarily when he kissed her cheek. It felt like all the issues melted away. Caleb was a literal knight in shining armor and it terrified her. Such a good guy didn’t deserve to be around someone like her. Even if she was trying to make things better, she wasn’t doing… better. “I like that smile of yours.” She blushed and choked on her words. It caught her off guard. “Thanks.” Franky needed up whispering back as she watched him carefully. Washing hands. Drying hands. Wrapping hands. She smiled and tucked her lips behind her teeth. Was this normal? Was this what normal people did while dating? Were they on that path? Franky couldn’t stop stupidly smiling to herself.

"My.. My dads? I mean, yeah. For the most part. Their library is full of cooking recipes and books.” She felt her voice shake from nerves. Franky wasn’t this nervous around him before, but her clear mind got her thinking too hard. She peeked at the food and sat back smiling to herself with Caleb behind her. “They mostly taught me how to bake, which… from the kitchen you can see. Cakes, cookies, muffins, cupcakes… literally anything you can think of… I mean when’s your birthday? I can whip up anything for it. Anything.” She turned her head to see him slightly. 

Caleb frowned when she answered shyly. “Did my comment made you feel uncomfortable?” Maybe she didn’t like compliments, who knew, it could be. However, she shook it off easily and continued to talk about the kitchen, to which the guy listened pretty carefully and he chuckled. “You’re lucky I have a big stomach so all you baked is not going to waste. I mean, I’m not going to eat everything but I want to, everything looks delicious.” He looked around and sniffed. All still smelled great and their dinner was starting to smell pretty good too.

“My birthday? You know, I don’t feel very comfortable telling it because most people guess my age…” He joked and licked his lips. Sometimes it was hard to remember it since he had spent many years without celebrating it since all the cancer situation had made him grumpy and very angry. “A month and two weeks from now. I think… okay, it’s better with the day. April the 8. What are you planning to do? I generally don’t like surprises but this is different.” He smiled and walked around her to face her now. “Yours? I can’t bake but I’ll do my best.” Caleb smirked and wiggled his brows. Just a split second after, he was looking down at her lips. He swallowed and looked down, still with a smile on his face. Kissing her, even giving her a small kiss counted as putting her under pressure? Because he really didn’t want that to happen and didn’t know if she wanted. 

“My birthday? You know, I don’t feel very comfortable telling it because most people guess my age…” She smiled at him. He was so joyful about everything, it was contagious. Franky needed this more in her life. It was apparent that he was actually helping a lot more than anyone else she had ever been around. Mates? She hadn’t heard from most of them in ages, besides Nick. "A month and two weeks from now. I think… okay, it’s better with the day. April the 8. What are you planning to do? I generally don’t like surprises but this is different.“ She smiled slyly at him and gripped the counter as she stood up on her toes. "You don’t have to do anything but try to enjoy it.” Franky looked at him and her smile started to fall. The two were experiencing something she had felt before with another person. Curiosity.. want… She stood up more on her toes and moved closer to him. Her smile grew, ear to ear. Franky hopped up on the counter and moved even closer to him. Their noses brushed and Franky pressed her lips onto his.

She surprisingly missed this feeling. She really missed this feeling, not necessarily with Caleb, but being close and touched. Franky smiled against his lips and kissed him again. Her eyes were closed sleepily as they parted but stayed close. “Don’t hold back.. I can see it in your eyes, Caleb.” She whispered and touched the side of his face. Her fingers danced down his jaw and Franky tilted her head to look closely at him.

His father had told him about making the first move for like, a hundred times, and for the second time, with Franky, she was the one making it instead of him. Caleb felt like a douche in that aspect but, on the other hand, he felt pretty good with Franky getting closer to him, greatly nervous but wanting it so badly. She was smiling big and he did the same for a moment, before the smile faded. It was not because he was uncomfortable, but maybe the feeling was overwhelming and kind of scared him. He closed his eyes and the sudden touch of her lips and put his hands on her waist. His breathing was getting slower but his heart was racing. He let his mind take the moment in but Franky’s lips surprised him again, forming that smile back on his face.

A chuckle escaped his lips and he opened his eyes, narrowing them as one hand traveled up to the back of her head, positioning it as it was before. His nose rubbed hers a couple times as his eyes kept on staring her delicate lips. “I have to or I won’t be able to let you go until your dads come in and they shoot my arse out of here.” He whispered and licked his lips once again. He had in mind they were alone and even if he had control on himself, he had to be realistic: he hadn’t been in a sexual intercourse for a very long time, not that he was thinking of that but he had dangerous spots and weaknesses. Caleb scrunched his nose whole his thumb stroked Franky’s bottom lip. “But no, I can’t hold back anymore…” He pressed his lips against hers as his hands cupper her face. She was so tiny he feared he could hurt her so his grip was soft. Then, he was lost, kissing her and just thinking of that, nothing else.

She cracked a smile. Franky didn’t plan on it going this far at all, not even more than a peck really. She couldn’t just do whatever she wanted without consequence. Franky wouldn’t let it continue or she would for now? “I have to or I won’t be able to let you go until your dads come in and they shoot my arse out of here.” She smiled but it was rubbed away with Caleb’s thumb. Then it grew back again. “But no, I can’t hold back anymore…” He kissed her and pulled her closely. Franky nearly slid off the counter moving to touch his lips again with hers. Being lost this embrace was perfect. Just for now. Franky felt normal and not so sorry for herself. They kissed again. Double over and over. She suddenly heard the stove pop and her eyes shot open.

Franky moved away quickly and jumped off the counter. “Shit!” She pulled the pan from the burner and set it on the counter. Her hand burned and she shook it before sticking the front of her palm in her mouth. “Shit, shit, shit.” She muttered again before turning all the burners off. “I think we’ve burned… I think I’ve burned the fish…” She turned the sink on and shoved her hand under the cold water. “Shit..” 

That damn stove. Caleb had completely forgot about it until Franky nearly pulled his lip from his face and he heard that peculiar noise. He moved away so she could make her way towards the pan as he grimaced, touching his mouth while he stared at the smoke going up. “Shit…” he whispered too and moved to where Franky was to make sure the burn was not a serious one. “Is your hand okay?” He looked over her but the running water didn’t let him see. Despite it, he grinned and started to laugh. Fish. The fish was all black and it was his fault, not that he had done it on purpose. Curious, Caleb looked inside the pan and laughed again. “I can’t believe this. I told you, the kitchen and I don’t get along but now I think it really dislike my presence in here.” He hoped Franky would take it as it was, an accident and something comical.

Caleb folded his arms and shook his head. “Guess our pasta will no longer have fish in it.” He went back to where Franky was and extended his hand so she could put hers on it so he could look at the burnt. “Martha, my dad’s soon-to-be wife taught me a pretty hilarious trick to calm this down. Once I burned my fingers trying to help her get ready for a dinner, I grabbed this thing she uses to straighten her hair and since I screamed so loud, she went down to the kitchen, grabbed an egg, cracked it and dipped my fingers in it. The pain was relieved less than second after that.” He smiled at Franky and coughed a little by th small amount of smoke and the smell, waving his hand to make it disappear. “I’m sorry I made you burn the fish. Maybe we could still eat something of it, don’t you think?” He raised a brow and looked over at the pan, laughing once more.

“I can’t believe this. I told you, the kitchen and I don’t get along but now I think it really dislike my presence in here.” Franky started to laugh under her breath as she ran the cold water on her palm. "Guess our pasta will no longer have fish in it.” He walked over and she glanced at the finished pasta. “No harm done.” She lifted her hand from the water. There was a circular burn but nothing serious, maybe a little stinging but she’d survive. “I’ve dealt with worse, I’ll live.” She tried to smile at Caleb, but it only made her think of a dreaded time back at his flat. The carving in her side. She pressed her hand near her side and shook her head. Caleb explained the egg trick and she pointed to the fridge. “Get me an egg then oh wise one.”

Franky shook her wet hand off in the sink and grabbed a bowl from the dishwasher. Clean of course. “The fish is dead to us now Caleb, we can only survive off pasta.” She smiled and saw the egg in his hand. “Crack it and let’s get it going.” Franky placed her hand flat in the bowl waiting for him. Her eyes never left his face. Some natural remedy, it was cute. Everything about Caleb was down right adorable and she couldn’t even fathom how he was an actual person. Everyone in the world was evil, really, really evil. Franky thought that way, and she even thought that she was too. Screw giving people the benefit of the doubt and assuming everyone was inherently good. But then there was Caleb. “Cal..” She stopped realizing she just made a nickname for him. “Uhm, anyway, I know… I know you have a story and it’s a long one, but why are you so nice? Literally, the nicest person I’ve ever met. You’re making me less cynical.”

Caleb lifted his index and walked backwards to where the fridge was. It was not hard to find an egg so he just took one and closed the door, shaking the thing as if it had something that would sound inside it. He then cracked the egg on the bowl and saw as it went on Franky’s hand. He placed the shell on the side and rubbed gently the viscous membrane on her palm and then looked at her with a soft smile on his face. “This will do it.” He winked an eye at her and took the shell to throw it away and keep the kitchen clean at least, now that the fish was more than dead. Once it was done, Caleb went back to where Franky was, mainly because she was asking him something. He kept his eyes on her and shrugged, still smiling because of the nickname given to him.

“Well… let’s say I was not the best person when I was younger. My mum died… and I decided to blame my dad… everyone, really. Did some things I’m not proud of, Then I got sick… the friends I thought were my friends left me, but… this boy… help me, my dad… he was always there and so was his girlfriend and when…” he narrowed his eyes and blinked a couple times, looking away. “when I thought I was gonna die, it… it changed me. When I lost my leg… first I was pretty angry and depressed but then, I mean, I was alive. Met a lot of sick people at the hospital and all of them were fighters and didn’t complain, even if they knew they just… had weeks. My life changed from one day to another and it opened my eyes, you know? They never let me give up so now I don’t let anyone give up.” There was a great story behind all of this. He didn’t share it with anyone because no one had asked him like she had. Caleb looked at Franky and licked his lips. “My mum was not sick or anything, if you know what I mean… and also, without my cousin, I wouldn’t be here, I think.”

Franky smiled when he got the egg started on her burn. It felt a lot better already. Then Caleb started his story. Not a happy one and it was something she knew about in a way. ”Well… let’s say I was not the best person when I was younger. My mum died… and I decided to blame my dad… everyone, really. Did some things I’m not proud of, Then I got sick… the friends I thought were my friends left me, but… this boy… help me, my dad… he was always there and so was his girlfriend and when… when I thought I was gonna die, it… it changed me. When I lost my leg… first I was pretty angry and depressed but then, I mean, I was alive. Met a lot of sick people at the hospital and all of them were fighters and didn’t complain, even if they knew they just… had weeks. My life changed from one day to another and it opened my eyes, you know? They never let me give up so now I don’t let anyone give up.” She listened and let her hand sit in the bowl. She wanted to hear more of his story, but she was thankful that he actually was sharing this information. Lost leg. Thought he was dying. Franky felt a sudden sadness flow over her.

There was a light at the end of the tunnel, but she felt terrible. Caleb went into a deeper scare than anyone he had ever known. “You’re brave.” She looked at him then back down at her soaking hand. “Do you ever get scared though?” She wasn’t sure if she was crossing a line or not. Franky’s curiosity always got the best of her. “I mean… do you ever get scared that you’ll get sick again?” Franky feared a lot of things about herself more than what the outside world could do. 

[calebfor-ester-blog]

Caleb smirked and shook his head. He was forced to be brave when actually he was scared to death. He chuckled and leaned against the counter. “Of course I do, I mean, I wouldn’t be human if I wasn’t, don’t you think? I just don’t let it control me, I rather have faith.” One think he knew was that he had been blessed. He was not part of the ones who had sadly died confined to their beds or who had spent infernal weeks or months fithing fot their lives at the hospital. He was worried now. Since he had spotted than brown stain on his back, Caleb had feared the worst, but nothing had changed, he hadn’t feel sick so he was positive about it. He got closer to Franky and kissed her temple. “Everything’s fine now. And we better take your hand out before it gets all rigid. Does it feel better?” 

[frankysfitz]

Faith. Franky wasn’t one in that aspect and it didn’t bother her that Caleb was. To each their own. Caleb kissed the side of her head and she looked down at the bowl. “Everything’s fine now. And we better take your hand out before it gets all rigid. Does it feel better?” She nodded and pulled her hand from the bowl and started to rinse the egg off her hand. “It actually feels loads better…” She inspected the small burn on the side of her hand and shrugged. “Only hurts if we touch it, so that shouldn’t be a problem.” Franky smiled at him and turned toward the food they had made. “I guess pasta it is then. Take a seat at the counter.” Franky touched his arm on the way toward the pot of food and placed two portions in two bowls. Cheese, seasoning, a bit of olive oil and spinich, this was good to go. She walked back slowly and placed the food in front of him, then took the seat open to his side. “If it tastes terrible, there is always a nandos down the street. Don’t hold back on the criticisms.” Franky handed him a fork and smiled. 

[calebfor-ester-blog]

“Of course, mademoiselle.” Caleb washed his hands as well and walked towards the counter, pulling two seats open and didn’t take a seat until Franky came with the food. He laughed and shook his head. “I won’t but I’m pretty sure it’s good.” He thanked her for the fork and took some noodles. It smelled good and usually when it smelled good, it tasted good. Eating now his bite, he nodded as he chewed, looking at Franky while doing so. “Don’t think Nando’s a good idea. I really liked this.” Caleb took a napkin and cleaned the corners of his lips. “Don’t even need the fish. It’s real good.”

Caleb picked up some more food and discovered a weird, gummy consistence in his mouth. He knew the flavour and everything, so he made a face, took another napkin, turned his head to the opposite side so Franky wouldn’t see and spat the piece on the paper. “I hate octopus. Why did I bring octopus?” Caleb took a glass and stood up to serve himself some water. Looking over his shoulder, he noticed Franky needed one too. Wine would be saved for later on the day or some other time since she didn’t want to drink and it was fine. He downed the water before refilling the glass and setting them in front of their bowls. “Despite all of our little accidents, I think we did good. Well, you did good.” Caleb sat down again and kept on eating. 

[frankysfitz]

“Don’t think Nando’s a good idea. I really liked this. Don’t even need the fish. It’s real good.” She chuckled between small bites. Caleb, what are you doing… “What… octopus?” She looked at him confused. Franky realized she hadn’t been listening for a bit, just staring at him. He grabbed them some new water and Franky appreciated it with a smile. “Thank you.” Franky mumbled behind her hand so she wouldn’t be rude. “Despite all of our little accidents, I think we did good. Well, you did good.” Her cheeks filled with red and she nodded. “Not bad I guess.” She had finished her small portion and decided she’d clean up the mess later. They had all the time in the world right now.

Caleb’s plate was done and she grabbed his so he wouldn’t have to get up. Things in the dishwasher, pots soaking in the water, and she was done. Franky wiped her hands on the towel and stood across the counter from Caleb. “Thanks for coming here. I… I want to keep hanging out, like this more. If you’d want. Even a movie or just something simple. A walk in the night, building something. I’d really, really like to get to know you more.” Franky leaned on the counter. She was blushing still, but she felt she had to say it. 

[calebfor-ester-blog]

Caleb smiled at her but was confused. It was as she wasn’t paying attention, a bit distracted, but soon it all went back to normal. He finished what was left on the bowl and grabbed another napkin to clean his mouth. He was about to get up and put it in the sink but Franky was faster. He stared at her with fascination, as if she had done something really surprising. “Don’t thank me, I mean, thank you for inviting me over.” He got up from his chair and walked towards her, taking a step forward with every sentence she said. He chuckled and stood in front of her, not so close so he could look at her face and so she didn’t have to look up at him. “Are you seriously asking me that? If I’d want?” Caleb smirked. “I want to know you more as well, thought it was clear.” He grabbed Franky’s head gently and pressed his lips against her forehead.

”This means I should go for the day? Or maybe we could watch a movie now… whatever you please, whatever there is to do here or maybe outside if you want to go out. I’m all yours today.” He was combing her hair with his fingers. One way or another, he couldn’t hide how much he was into Franky. He could be himself without being afraid of judgements. She didn’t mind his leg or the little she knew about his past. She liked to spend time with him when not even Mya seem to lately. “What do you say?” 

[frankysfitz]

“Are you seriously asking me that? If I’d want? I want to know you more as well, thought it was clear.” Franky melted at his small kiss on her forehead. This was what attraction was supposed to be. It wasn’t something she was chasing. It wasn’t a thrill or a jolt of adrenaline like it had been. This was comforting and Franky actually felt comfortable. She had never felt this comfortable around anyone before. Caleb ran his mouth and Franky just stared at it. Whatever he was saying just sounded like noise. She was so lost. For that moment, she realized how into him she was. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to tell him he was special. She wanted to make something of this, but making that move forward scared her. “What do you say?” Caleb snapped her thoughts back and she smiled at him. “Movie.” She gripped his arm slightly and led him toward the stairs.

Three flights, they were up in her room and she was flipping the light on. Franky let Caleb soak in what he could of her room. It was a mess of half of Franky and half of her dad’s trying to erase some bad parts of Franky. Since she had been back from Oxford, she had actually gotten used to decorating her room again. “Right, so I have my laptop and literally anything we can choose from. I’m sort of a computer nerd… know the backgrounds of how to get to good streams of.. don’t worry about it. Pick a genre.” Franky stood up and sat on he bed, leaving room for Caleb to sit next to her. 

[calebfor-ester-blog]

The choice was made. Caleb got to spend more time with Franky, time alone with her, no strangers around them, noises to distract them from the film. If he remembered well, houses were supposed to have a telly room downstairs, but Caleb was no architect and that wasn’t exactly a rule, was it? His feet moved along with his body as he was being led upstairs. He didn’t know what was happening to him but he started to feel nervous, in a good way. This was more of her territory now and he stared at the room when he realized where they were. Nothin big, it was just a room, didn’t mean anything, or did it? He got caught by some photographs, vinyls, some white walls and some others already started to be covered. Caleb smiled.

“Your room is odd.” He said with a smirk, looking at the back of her head as she walked inside and talked about her laptop. “Sure this is yours? I mean, it’s... you and, then... not you. Like a weird mix. I like the colored part.” He glance around before his eyes stopped on Franky again, sitting on the bed. He walked towards her and took a seat. What movie to choose? Honestly, he was so focused on Franky and their surroundings, the least he was thinking about was some film. “Genre... right. Uhm... fan of horror movies? Tell me you get scared easily so I could get an excuse to hold you throughout it. Or maybe if it’s not scary at all, you could fake it.” Caleb chuckled, wiggling his brows up and down as his hand reached for her smaller one, his fingers playing with hers.    

[hazels]

I wish I could say that Augustus Waters kept his sense of humor ‘til the end, that not for a single moment did his courage waiver, but that is not what happened.

[calebfor-ester-blog]

Making A Mess of Ourselves | @Franky

[frankysfitz]

It had been a while since Caleb saw Franky for the last time. In fact, he had been out of the radar for some time, mainly because he was going nuts about that mole on his back and Mya acting strange. He knew she was busy because she did have a job and well, he hadn’t done good with the stable but was committed to doing it better but still, when she was home, she spent most of her time in her room and he had smelled weed more than once. He had smoken that before but it had been just twice and didn’t really want to get involve with that. Caleb, besides this, wasn’t really ready to talk to Mya about what was happening since he had his own inferno inside his head but was now ready to go out and to be honest, Franky’s message had helped a lot. He still had to pretend about not being worried about cancer coming back because he did not know yet but the least he wanted to do was concerning Franky with his problems when he knew she had her own. Caleb was not like that anyways.

Driving around the city, he had gotten some souvenirs and food since he didn’t want to show up with empty hands. And he didn’t want to look desperate getting to her place in no time like a puppy waiting for someone to scratch its belly. He kept in mind the words she had told him. Slow. He had to go slow with this, no pressure, no singing in the name of love yet. As soon as he thought he had a great group of raws, Caleb drove towards Franky’s. One of the things he hated about his truck was that it was sometimes too big to fit it places to park but he did find a place after five minutes of driving in circles. He would have to carry the bags towards the entrance but they weren’t really heavy. Once he was at the door, he took hold of one bag with his teeth as he tried to open the door, which he did successfully with red fingers and almost breaking bags. Once he took the bag from his mouth and closed the door with his foot, he looked around and smiled. “I’m home! Who’s ready for a food fight?” He chuckled, waiting to hear Franky’s voice. 

Franky knew she could count on Caleb to lighten up her day just a little bit. She figured the two could cook at her house or just hangout. She had been clean for a few weeks now. Not even spliff. Franky was more surprised by herself than anything that she didn’t touch anything or even break just once. She waited for Caleb, who was taking longer than she thought he would. Maybe he was running errands. Either way, she kept busy in the kitchen. Franky had kept up her love of baking in the mean time. Muffins here and there, fresh baked cookies, and some sketches from her drawing sat on the counter. 

She heard the door and popped her head out to see Caleb with bags upon bags. “I’m home! Who’s ready for a food fight?” He laughed and she giggled herself. Franky felt the sudden need to embrace him.. kiss him.. she hadn’t had human contact with anyone but her fathers for the past few weeks. Franky helped by grabbing some bags from his hands and blushing while she looked him up and down with a smile. “Glad you came, been awhile since I’ve seen anyone.” She placed some bags down and reached up on her toes to peck him on the cheek. It felt right. It felt welcoming enough. “So, what did you get?” She pointed to the bags happily.

The welcoming kiss and smile Franky had given him made everything felt alright. The worrying got a second place and he couldn’t help but smile wide. Franky took some bags and Caleb was so distracted by her he almost didn’t notice, otherwise he wouldn’t had let her do so, but then remembered she liked to be independent so he didn’t say a word, even if he felt like a douchebag. “Really? Am I that lucky?” Caleb wiggled his brows and followed her to the kitchen. He looked up and sniffed a couple times. “What’s that smell?” He asked, surprised. It smelled real good. He then looked back at Franky. “Like, you’ve been secluded from society? Whe?” He hoped he wasn’t intruding, it was just that he didn’t feel like she was that type of person. He was used to it but the thought of someone else feeling or being lonely was not conceivable or even possible.

He let out a small chuckle and looked down to the bags he was carying. “Oh, nothing…. everything. There’s some meat, fish, pasta, uhm, some cans of something I forgot and most important…” Caleb settled the bags on the counter and took out a dark bottle. “Wine.” He didn’t drink really, but wine was different, plus, he had read somewhere one glass a day was good for the heart. “Think we can cook something out with this? I’m not the best at picking food…” He made a face, then turned to Franky to kiss her forehead.

“What’s that smell?” Franky grinned and had him follow her into the kitchen. “Did a bit of baking…” She pointed to the various treys of pastries and so on. Caleb explained what was in the bags. Everything needed to make a really, really fancy dinner. Franky felt… normal for once. She smiled when he pulled the wine out, but she felt she should tell him she was trying to keep away from it all. He set it on the counter and Franky giggled quietly when he kissed her forehead. He was so much taller than her. It took moments like that for her to notice. “Think we can cook something out with this? I’m not the best at picking food…” Franky nodded and pulled out her phone to grab an easy recipe.

Maybe now was a good time to explain. “Decided that I needed to work on myself so I’ve been spending time with my dads.” She nodded to herself and pulled up an easy step recipe. “Seafood pasta.” She smiled and looked in the bag then back at her phone. “Shrimp Scampi over Whole-Wheat Spaghetti.” She slid the phone over to him and let their arms touch. “What do you think?”

“A bit of baking?” Caleb grinned once he took a look around. There were cookies all over the place. “I had no idea you liked it.” He turned back to face Franky and watched as she was on the phone. He nodded at what she said and he was glad to hear it. He was curious if the scar was still there, if she was still sad about the ex but hey, it was no time to ask that. He really wanted to keep his questions to himself. Being a constant reminder to her of everything bad in her life didn’t help and she looked at ease and calm today. “Seafood? I’m starting to pull out a little plan to sail. Every thing we do or eat takes us back to the ocean." 

He smirked and really started thinking where he could get a yacht or something like that. Caleb took her phone and read the recipe. He felt her skin against his skin and couldn’t help but smile like a dork to the screen. “Yeah, seafood pasta will be.” He handed the phone back to Franky and touched her cheek before heading over to one trey, picking up a cookie. “I’m all yours. Better tell m what to do if you want to keep your kitchen.” He chuckled. Caleb knew how to cook, but just the basics. He had thought about taking cooking lessons but always forgot to search for them. It had been a whle since he had started missing Martha’s meals.

"Seafood? I’m starting to pull out a little plan to sail. Every thing we do or eat takes us back to the ocean.” She smiled at him once she saw his classic smirk. She watched him with the phone, smiling happily to himself. Caleb was a genuine guy.. Franky could see that now, but she still didn’t want to see more than just that. She didn’t want to see the dark side of him, if there even was one. “Yeah, seafood pasta will be.” He touched her cheek and she smiled at the small tickle. “I’m all yours. better tell me what to do if you want to keep your kitchen.” She followed him to the cabinet and pointed to the top. “Strainer for the pasta and pan for the fish.”

Franky wanted to get it right and with her help the dinner wouldn’t be a failure. She went into the bag and pulled out the box of pasta, ingredients and fish. “You can chop vegetables, okay? Think you can manage that.” She scrunched her nose at him and pulled the cutting board, chef knife and the peppers, onions, and the works. “You know how to cut things right?” Franky touched his forearm and slid an onion close to his hand. “Do it… do it.. do it!” She started cheering quietly.

“Of course… I can help reaching the tall cupboards.” Caleb laughed and opened the doors and got what Franky told him to without a problem. He placed those on the counter making room by unbagging the rest he had bought that was not in Franky’s position. He turned to see Franky and narrowed his eyes. “Can I?” He made a sorry face before scrunching his nose as well. “Yeah, I can do that.” He took the cutting board and cleaned it with a cloth before placing the onion Franky had handed him there. He couldn’t help but laugh at her cheering and started to chop the onion. “Don’t laugh if I cry.” He pointed at Franky tried to do it kind of fast, well, at least the faster he could. “Is all the onion okay?” Caleb frowned because that was exactly what he was doing.

He looked up at Franky and got distracted for two seconds and the knife touched his finger so he got a small cut. “Fuck!” He left the knife on the board and looked at his finger. Blood was slightly coming out and he sucked on his finger. “Fuck again!” He made a face since he tasted like onion. “Sorry about the cursing…” He took the cloth and wrapped it around his finger, ready to chop peppers now. “I think I will survive…” He smiled as he lifted the cutting board with all the onion in pieces. “Where do I put this?” Caleb really wanted to help, and it would be better if he could basically cook everything by himself for her, just with her instructions… but he couldn’t even cut vegetables without cutting himself. He chuckled and looked back at Franky.

“All the onion? I.. I guess so?” Franky figured she could bag up the rest and keep it in the fridge for her dads to make something later on. She went about preparing the pans on the stove until she heard Caleb yelp out a swear. “Fuck again!” She turned to see his finger in his mouth and she started to laugh. She didn’t see any on the food or counter, which was fine. “I think I will survive.” She smirked, “Thank god. I was about to ring the ambulance.” She joked and picked up the sprayed pan for him to place the onions in. “Here. And get yourself a bandage maybe, or just rinse off the blood.” She pointed to the sink.

“Next will be chopped up spinach, some peppers, and you can take your time on these. I’ll sauté the fish and put some spice on it.” Franky grinned and turned her back to him. She had the spices all out, one teaspoon of this, one tablespoon of that, blah blah blah. It was all easy to keep it going and with Caleb chopping and placing it all in the pan, it would be a lot faster. Then it came time to boil some pasta. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever done this with anyone before….” She turned toward him after she finished her prepping for the fish and stared at him. Franky couldn’t stop smiling around him and that much was apparent to her and him. “You’re done, slide the rest of the veggies in the pan with the fish and then we wait." 

Caleb nodded obediently and with the enormous knife’s help, he placed some of the chopped onion on the pan and the rest, he put aside. He did what she told him about the cut, wshing his hands and all, making faces until he was done. He took the other vegetables but stopped and looked at Franky with a raised brow. “Sauté? Now you’re talking to me in some other language?” He grinned and got back to his task. He definitely didn’t know any terms related to the kitchen. He was getting a nice pile of green and all, being careful with his finger and taking it easy as Franky did her thing.

What she had said caught his attention and he stopped again. “Really?” He asked with soft voice. He was pretty much surprised to hear that. He hadn’t done this before with girls but… he didn’t know, it just surprised him. They stared at each other and he smiled at her, studying her eyes and her smile, fighting the urge to stroke her face since it would be disgusting and not romantic at all. He licked his lips and leaned forwards to place a kiss on her cheek. “I like that smile of yours.” He whispered and then stood straight, lifted the board and repeating the action done before. As they had to wait, he went back to the sink and washed his hands, dried them and put his arms around Franky from behind. “Your dads taught you to cook?” 

Franky closed her eyes involuntarily when he kissed her cheek. It felt like all the issues melted away. Caleb was a literal knight in shining armor and it terrified her. Such a good guy didn’t deserve to be around someone like her. Even if she was trying to make things better, she wasn’t doing… better. “I like that smile of yours.” She blushed and choked on her words. It caught her off guard. “Thanks.” Franky needed up whispering back as she watched him carefully. Washing hands. Drying hands. Wrapping hands. She smiled and tucked her lips behind her teeth. Was this normal? Was this what normal people did while dating? Were they on that path? Franky couldn’t stop stupidly smiling to herself.

"My.. My dads? I mean, yeah. For the most part. Their library is full of cooking recipes and books.” She felt her voice shake from nerves. Franky wasn’t this nervous around him before, but her clear mind got her thinking too hard. She peeked at the food and sat back smiling to herself with Caleb behind her. “They mostly taught me how to bake, which… from the kitchen you can see. Cakes, cookies, muffins, cupcakes… literally anything you can think of… I mean when’s your birthday? I can whip up anything for it. Anything.” She turned her head to see him slightly. 

Caleb frowned when she answered shyly. “Did my comment made you feel uncomfortable?” Maybe she didn’t like compliments, who knew, it could be. However, she shook it off easily and continued to talk about the kitchen, to which the guy listened pretty carefully and he chuckled. “You’re lucky I have a big stomach so all you baked is not going to waste. I mean, I’m not going to eat everything but I want to, everything looks delicious.” He looked around and sniffed. All still smelled great and their dinner was starting to smell pretty good too.

“My birthday? You know, I don’t feel very comfortable telling it because most people guess my age…” He joked and licked his lips. Sometimes it was hard to remember it since he had spent many years without celebrating it since all the cancer situation had made him grumpy and very angry. “A month and two weeks from now. I think… okay, it’s better with the day. April the 8. What are you planning to do? I generally don’t like surprises but this is different.” He smiled and walked around her to face her now. “Yours? I can’t bake but I’ll do my best.” Caleb smirked and wiggled his brows. Just a split second after, he was looking down at her lips. He swallowed and looked down, still with a smile on his face. Kissing her, even giving her a small kiss counted as putting her under pressure? Because he really didn’t want that to happen and didn’t know if she wanted. 

“My birthday? You know, I don’t feel very comfortable telling it because most people guess my age…” She smiled at him. He was so joyful about everything, it was contagious. Franky needed this more in her life. It was apparent that he was actually helping a lot more than anyone else she had ever been around. Mates? She hadn’t heard from most of them in ages, besides Nick. "A month and two weeks from now. I think… okay, it’s better with the day. April the 8. What are you planning to do? I generally don’t like surprises but this is different.“ She smiled slyly at him and gripped the counter as she stood up on her toes. "You don’t have to do anything but try to enjoy it.” Franky looked at him and her smile started to fall. The two were experiencing something she had felt before with another person. Curiosity.. want… She stood up more on her toes and moved closer to him. Her smile grew, ear to ear. Franky hopped up on the counter and moved even closer to him. Their noses brushed and Franky pressed her lips onto his.

She surprisingly missed this feeling. She really missed this feeling, not necessarily with Caleb, but being close and touched. Franky smiled against his lips and kissed him again. Her eyes were closed sleepily as they parted but stayed close. “Don’t hold back.. I can see it in your eyes, Caleb.” She whispered and touched the side of his face. Her fingers danced down his jaw and Franky tilted her head to look closely at him.

His father had told him about making the first move for like, a hundred times, and for the second time, with Franky, she was the one making it instead of him. Caleb felt like a douche in that aspect but, on the other hand, he felt pretty good with Franky getting closer to him, greatly nervous but wanting it so badly. She was smiling big and he did the same for a moment, before the smile faded. It was not because he was uncomfortable, but maybe the feeling was overwhelming and kind of scared him. He closed his eyes and the sudden touch of her lips and put his hands on her waist. His breathing was getting slower but his heart was racing. He let his mind take the moment in but Franky’s lips surprised him again, forming that smile back on his face.

A chuckle escaped his lips and he opened his eyes, narrowing them as one hand traveled up to the back of her head, positioning it as it was before. His nose rubbed hers a couple times as his eyes kept on staring her delicate lips. “I have to or I won’t be able to let you go until your dads come in and they shoot my arse out of here.” He whispered and licked his lips once again. He had in mind they were alone and even if he had control on himself, he had to be realistic: he hadn’t been in a sexual intercourse for a very long time, not that he was thinking of that but he had dangerous spots and weaknesses. Caleb scrunched his nose whole his thumb stroked Franky’s bottom lip. “But no, I can’t hold back anymore…” He pressed his lips against hers as his hands cupper her face. She was so tiny he feared he could hurt her so his grip was soft. Then, he was lost, kissing her and just thinking of that, nothing else.

She cracked a smile. Franky didn’t plan on it going this far at all, not even more than a peck really. She couldn’t just do whatever she wanted without consequence. Franky wouldn’t let it continue or she would for now? “I have to or I won’t be able to let you go until your dads come in and they shoot my arse out of here.” She smiled but it was rubbed away with Caleb’s thumb. Then it grew back again. “But no, I can’t hold back anymore…” He kissed her and pulled her closely. Franky nearly slid off the counter moving to touch his lips again with hers. Being lost this embrace was perfect. Just for now. Franky felt normal and not so sorry for herself. They kissed again. Double over and over. She suddenly heard the stove pop and her eyes shot open.

Franky moved away quickly and jumped off the counter. “Shit!” She pulled the pan from the burner and set it on the counter. Her hand burned and she shook it before sticking the front of her palm in her mouth. “Shit, shit, shit.” She muttered again before turning all the burners off. “I think we’ve burned… I think I’ve burned the fish…” She turned the sink on and shoved her hand under the cold water. “Shit..” 

That damn stove. Caleb had completely forgot about it until Franky nearly pulled his lip from his face and he heard that peculiar noise. He moved away so she could make her way towards the pan as he grimaced, touching his mouth while he stared at the smoke going up. “Shit…” he whispered too and moved to where Franky was to make sure the burn was not a serious one. “Is your hand okay?” He looked over her but the running water didn’t let him see. Despite it, he grinned and started to laugh. Fish. The fish was all black and it was his fault, not that he had done it on purpose. Curious, Caleb looked inside the pan and laughed again. “I can’t believe this. I told you, the kitchen and I don’t get along but now I think it really dislike my presence in here.” He hoped Franky would take it as it was, an accident and something comical.

Caleb folded his arms and shook his head. “Guess our pasta will no longer have fish in it.” He went back to where Franky was and extended his hand so she could put hers on it so he could look at the burnt. “Martha, my dad’s soon-to-be wife taught me a pretty hilarious trick to calm this down. Once I burned my fingers trying to help her get ready for a dinner, I grabbed this thing she uses to straighten her hair and since I screamed so loud, she went down to the kitchen, grabbed an egg, cracked it and dipped my fingers in it. The pain was relieved less than second after that.” He smiled at Franky and coughed a little by th small amount of smoke and the smell, waving his hand to make it disappear. “I’m sorry I made you burn the fish. Maybe we could still eat something of it, don’t you think?” He raised a brow and looked over at the pan, laughing once more.

“I can’t believe this. I told you, the kitchen and I don’t get along but now I think it really dislike my presence in here.” Franky started to laugh under her breath as she ran the cold water on her palm. "Guess our pasta will no longer have fish in it.” He walked over and she glanced at the finished pasta. “No harm done.” She lifted her hand from the water. There was a circular burn but nothing serious, maybe a little stinging but she’d survive. “I’ve dealt with worse, I’ll live.” She tried to smile at Caleb, but it only made her think of a dreaded time back at his flat. The carving in her side. She pressed her hand near her side and shook her head. Caleb explained the egg trick and she pointed to the fridge. “Get me an egg then oh wise one.”

Franky shook her wet hand off in the sink and grabbed a bowl from the dishwasher. Clean of course. “The fish is dead to us now Caleb, we can only survive off pasta.” She smiled and saw the egg in his hand. “Crack it and let’s get it going.” Franky placed her hand flat in the bowl waiting for him. Her eyes never left his face. Some natural remedy, it was cute. Everything about Caleb was down right adorable and she couldn’t even fathom how he was an actual person. Everyone in the world was evil, really, really evil. Franky thought that way, and she even thought that she was too. Screw giving people the benefit of the doubt and assuming everyone was inherently good. But then there was Caleb. “Cal..” She stopped realizing she just made a nickname for him. “Uhm, anyway, I know… I know you have a story and it’s a long one, but why are you so nice? Literally, the nicest person I’ve ever met. You’re making me less cynical.”

Caleb lifted his index and walked backwards to where the fridge was. It was not hard to find an egg so he just took one and closed the door, shaking the thing as if it had something that would sound inside it. He then cracked the egg on the bowl and saw as it went on Franky’s hand. He placed the shell on the side and rubbed gently the viscous membrane on her palm and then looked at her with a soft smile on his face. “This will do it.” He winked an eye at her and took the shell to throw it away and keep the kitchen clean at least, now that the fish was more than dead. Once it was done, Caleb went back to where Franky was, mainly because she was asking him something. He kept his eyes on her and shrugged, still smiling because of the nickname given to him.

“Well… let’s say I was not the best person when I was younger. My mum died… and I decided to blame my dad… everyone, really. Did some things I’m not proud of, Then I got sick… the friends I thought were my friends left me, but… this boy… help me, my dad… he was always there and so was his girlfriend and when…” he narrowed his eyes and blinked a couple times, looking away. “when I thought I was gonna die, it… it changed me. When I lost my leg… first I was pretty angry and depressed but then, I mean, I was alive. Met a lot of sick people at the hospital and all of them were fighters and didn’t complain, even if they knew they just… had weeks. My life changed from one day to another and it opened my eyes, you know? They never let me give up so now I don’t let anyone give up.” There was a great story behind all of this. He didn’t share it with anyone because no one had asked him like she had. Caleb looked at Franky and licked his lips. “My mum was not sick or anything, if you know what I mean… and also, without my cousin, I wouldn’t be here, I think.”

Franky smiled when he got the egg started on her burn. It felt a lot better already. Then Caleb started his story. Not a happy one and it was something she knew about in a way. ”Well… let’s say I was not the best person when I was younger. My mum died… and I decided to blame my dad… everyone, really. Did some things I’m not proud of, Then I got sick… the friends I thought were my friends left me, but… this boy… help me, my dad… he was always there and so was his girlfriend and when… when I thought I was gonna die, it… it changed me. When I lost my leg… first I was pretty angry and depressed but then, I mean, I was alive. Met a lot of sick people at the hospital and all of them were fighters and didn’t complain, even if they knew they just… had weeks. My life changed from one day to another and it opened my eyes, you know? They never let me give up so now I don’t let anyone give up.” She listened and let her hand sit in the bowl. She wanted to hear more of his story, but she was thankful that he actually was sharing this information. Lost leg. Thought he was dying. Franky felt a sudden sadness flow over her.

There was a light at the end of the tunnel, but she felt terrible. Caleb went into a deeper scare than anyone he had ever known. “You’re brave.” She looked at him then back down at her soaking hand. “Do you ever get scared though?” She wasn’t sure if she was crossing a line or not. Franky’s curiosity always got the best of her. “I mean… do you ever get scared that you’ll get sick again?” Franky feared a lot of things about herself more than what the outside world could do. 

[calebfor-ester-blog]

Caleb smirked and shook his head. He was forced to be brave when actually he was scared to death. He chuckled and leaned against the counter. “Of course I do, I mean, I wouldn’t be human if I wasn’t, don’t you think? I just don’t let it control me, I rather have faith.” One think he knew was that he had been blessed. He was not part of the ones who had sadly died confined to their beds or who had spent infernal weeks or months fithing fot their lives at the hospital. He was worried now. Since he had spotted than brown stain on his back, Caleb had feared the worst, but nothing had changed, he hadn’t feel sick so he was positive about it. He got closer to Franky and kissed her temple. “Everything’s fine now. And we better take your hand out before it gets all rigid. Does it feel better?” 

[frankysfitz]

Faith. Franky wasn’t one in that aspect and it didn’t bother her that Caleb was. To each their own. Caleb kissed the side of her head and she looked down at the bowl. “Everything’s fine now. And we better take your hand out before it gets all rigid. Does it feel better?” She nodded and pulled her hand from the bowl and started to rinse the egg off her hand. “It actually feels loads better…” She inspected the small burn on the side of her hand and shrugged. “Only hurts if we touch it, so that shouldn’t be a problem.” Franky smiled at him and turned toward the food they had made. “I guess pasta it is then. Take a seat at the counter.” Franky touched his arm on the way toward the pot of food and placed two portions in two bowls. Cheese, seasoning, a bit of olive oil and spinich, this was good to go. She walked back slowly and placed the food in front of him, then took the seat open to his side. “If it tastes terrible, there is always a nandos down the street. Don’t hold back on the criticisms.” Franky handed him a fork and smiled. 

[calebfor-ester-blog]

“Of course, mademoiselle.” Caleb washed his hands as well and walked towards the counter, pulling two seats open and didn’t take a seat until Franky came with the food. He laughed and shook his head. “I won’t but I’m pretty sure it’s good.” He thanked her for the fork and took some noodles. It smelled good and usually when it smelled good, it tasted good. Eating now his bite, he nodded as he chewed, looking at Franky while doing so. “Don’t think Nando’s a good idea. I really liked this.” Caleb took a napkin and cleaned the corners of his lips. “Don’t even need the fish. It’s real good.”

Caleb picked up some more food and discovered a weird, gummy consistence in his mouth. He knew the flavour and everything, so he made a face, took another napkin, turned his head to the opposite side so Franky wouldn’t see and spat the piece on the paper. “I hate octopus. Why did I bring octopus?” Caleb took a glass and stood up to serve himself some water. Looking over his shoulder, he noticed Franky needed one too. Wine would be saved for later on the day or some other time since she didn’t want to drink and it was fine. He downed the water before refilling the glass and setting them in front of their bowls. “Despite all of our little accidents, I think we did good. Well, you did good.” Caleb sat down again and kept on eating. 

[frankysfitz]

“Don’t think Nando’s a good idea. I really liked this. Don’t even need the fish. It’s real good.” She chuckled between small bites. Caleb, what are you doing… “What… octopus?” She looked at him confused. Franky realized she hadn’t been listening for a bit, just staring at him. He grabbed them some new water and Franky appreciated it with a smile. “Thank you.” Franky mumbled behind her hand so she wouldn’t be rude. “Despite all of our little accidents, I think we did good. Well, you did good.” Her cheeks filled with red and she nodded. “Not bad I guess.” She had finished her small portion and decided she’d clean up the mess later. They had all the time in the world right now.

Caleb’s plate was done and she grabbed his so he wouldn’t have to get up. Things in the dishwasher, pots soaking in the water, and she was done. Franky wiped her hands on the towel and stood across the counter from Caleb. “Thanks for coming here. I… I want to keep hanging out, like this more. If you’d want. Even a movie or just something simple. A walk in the night, building something. I’d really, really like to get to know you more.” Franky leaned on the counter. She was blushing still, but she felt she had to say it. 

[calebfor-ester-blog]

Caleb smiled at her but was confused. It was as she wasn’t paying attention, a bit distracted, but soon it all went back to normal. He finished what was left on the bowl and grabbed another napkin to clean his mouth. He was about to get up and put it in the sink but Franky was faster. He stared at her with fascination, as if she had done something really surprising. “Don’t thank me, I mean, thank you for inviting me over.” He got up from his chair and walked towards her, taking a step forward with every sentence she said. He chuckled and stood in front of her, not so close so he could look at her face and so she didn’t have to look up at him. “Are you seriously asking me that? If I’d want?” Caleb smirked. “I want to know you more as well, thought it was clear.” He grabbed Franky’s head gently and pressed his lips against her forehead.

”This means I should go for the day? Or maybe we could watch a movie now... whatever you please, whatever there is to do here or maybe outside if you want to go out. I’m all yours today.” He was combing her hair with his fingers. One way or another, he couldn’t hide how much he was into Franky. He could be himself without being afraid of judgements. She didn’t mind his leg or the little she knew about his past. She liked to spend time with him when not even Mya seem to lately. “What do you say?” 

[itsnot-anselelgort]

Outtake from Ansel Elgort’s Teen Vogue photoshoot.

[calebfor-ester-blog]

Tough Choice | @Anyone

After a visit to the hospital, Caleb needed to keep his mind at ease. He didn’t want to talk or think about the event that had taken him there so he was kind of avoiding known people, but it wasn’t that difficult really since no one had called or messaged him lately, which was partially fine by now. He debated between turning his phone off or what, but he had made his dad a promise, meaning his mobile had to be always with him and always on even if he was taking a risk of receiving a call from him and being discovered by his voice tone. Either way, he tried to act as cool as possible. Positiveness was on his side and was a method he had to not freak out. And it would be pretty scary to see an almost 2 feet tall lad freaking out as he waited to ask for an ice cream at some shop he had walked into. An old couple was taking its time to choose the flavors and toppings but Caleb had no problem with it, the only flaw was that he was thinking too much,

After a few minutes, the couple had moved and was already paying for its treat so it meant it was his time to order but he found himself staring a lot, looking at lot, maybe he wasn’t that hungry after all. He looked over his shoulder and saw a redheaded girl just waiting behind him and Caleb also found several angry stares, just as the boy who served the ice cream. “Uhm… yeah, I think I’m letting the next customer ask first,” he nodded and moved to a side so the girl could have a look. He genuily smiled at her since she seemed to be the only one in here who was not in bad mood.

[trappedinawebb]

Visit Original Link

She carries memories around like souvenirs down in her pockets She should have let some go by now but can’t seem to drop it Says forgiveness ain’t nothing but a lifeless tire on the shoulder of her soul That never rolls For as much as she stumbled she’s runnin’ For as much as she runs she’s still here Always hoping to find something quicker than Heaven To make the damage of her days disappear Just like Guinevere Just like Guinevere She don’t hold onto nothin’ new for very long Yeah she writes you in as just one more tale and then you’re gone 'Cause she once fell hard 'cause she dropped her guard And no one gets to stay it’s just too late

[troublefindsme]

Happy Birthday, Ansel Elgort!

[calebfor-ester-blog]

Would you like to stroke the pussy or fuck the duck?

Wow...

[calebfor-ester-blog]

Making A Mess of Ourselves | @Franky

[frankysfitz]

It had been a while since Caleb saw Franky for the last time. In fact, he had been out of the radar for some time, mainly because he was going nuts about that mole on his back and Mya acting strange. He knew she was busy because she did have a job and well, he hadn’t done good with the stable but was committed to doing it better but still, when she was home, she spent most of her time in her room and he had smelled weed more than once. He had smoken that before but it had been just twice and didn’t really want to get involve with that. Caleb, besides this, wasn’t really ready to talk to Mya about what was happening since he had his own inferno inside his head but was now ready to go out and to be honest, Franky’s message had helped a lot. He still had to pretend about not being worried about cancer coming back because he did not know yet but the least he wanted to do was concerning Franky with his problems when he knew she had her own. Caleb was not like that anyways.

Driving around the city, he had gotten some souvenirs and food since he didn’t want to show up with empty hands. And he didn’t want to look desperate getting to her place in no time like a puppy waiting for someone to scratch its belly. He kept in mind the words she had told him. Slow. He had to go slow with this, no pressure, no singing in the name of love yet. As soon as he thought he had a great group of raws, Caleb drove towards Franky’s. One of the things he hated about his truck was that it was sometimes too big to fit it places to park but he did find a place after five minutes of driving in circles. He would have to carry the bags towards the entrance but they weren’t really heavy. Once he was at the door, he took hold of one bag with his teeth as he tried to open the door, which he did successfully with red fingers and almost breaking bags. Once he took the bag from his mouth and closed the door with his foot, he looked around and smiled. “I’m home! Who’s ready for a food fight?” He chuckled, waiting to hear Franky’s voice. 

Franky knew she could count on Caleb to lighten up her day just a little bit. She figured the two could cook at her house or just hangout. She had been clean for a few weeks now. Not even spliff. Franky was more surprised by herself than anything that she didn’t touch anything or even break just once. She waited for Caleb, who was taking longer than she thought he would. Maybe he was running errands. Either way, she kept busy in the kitchen. Franky had kept up her love of baking in the mean time. Muffins here and there, fresh baked cookies, and some sketches from her drawing sat on the counter. 

She heard the door and popped her head out to see Caleb with bags upon bags. “I’m home! Who’s ready for a food fight?” He laughed and she giggled herself. Franky felt the sudden need to embrace him.. kiss him.. she hadn’t had human contact with anyone but her fathers for the past few weeks. Franky helped by grabbing some bags from his hands and blushing while she looked him up and down with a smile. “Glad you came, been awhile since I’ve seen anyone.” She placed some bags down and reached up on her toes to peck him on the cheek. It felt right. It felt welcoming enough. “So, what did you get?” She pointed to the bags happily.

The welcoming kiss and smile Franky had given him made everything felt alright. The worrying got a second place and he couldn’t help but smile wide. Franky took some bags and Caleb was so distracted by her he almost didn’t notice, otherwise he wouldn’t had let her do so, but then remembered she liked to be independent so he didn’t say a word, even if he felt like a douchebag. “Really? Am I that lucky?” Caleb wiggled his brows and followed her to the kitchen. He looked up and sniffed a couple times. “What’s that smell?” He asked, surprised. It smelled real good. He then looked back at Franky. “Like, you’ve been secluded from society? Whe?” He hoped he wasn’t intruding, it was just that he didn’t feel like she was that type of person. He was used to it but the thought of someone else feeling or being lonely was not conceivable or even possible.

He let out a small chuckle and looked down to the bags he was carying. “Oh, nothing…. everything. There’s some meat, fish, pasta, uhm, some cans of something I forgot and most important…” Caleb settled the bags on the counter and took out a dark bottle. “Wine.” He didn’t drink really, but wine was different, plus, he had read somewhere one glass a day was good for the heart. “Think we can cook something out with this? I’m not the best at picking food…” He made a face, then turned to Franky to kiss her forehead.

"What’s that smell?" Franky grinned and had him follow her into the kitchen. "Did a bit of baking…" She pointed to the various treys of pastries and so on. Caleb explained what was in the bags. Everything needed to make a really, really fancy dinner. Franky felt… normal for once. She smiled when he pulled the wine out, but she felt she should tell him she was trying to keep away from it all. He set it on the counter and Franky giggled quietly when he kissed her forehead. He was so much taller than her. It took moments like that for her to notice. “Think we can cook something out with this? I’m not the best at picking food…” Franky nodded and pulled out her phone to grab an easy recipe.

Maybe now was a good time to explain. “Decided that I needed to work on myself so I’ve been spending time with my dads.” She nodded to herself and pulled up an easy step recipe. “Seafood pasta.” She smiled and looked in the bag then back at her phone. “Shrimp Scampi over Whole-Wheat Spaghetti.” She slid the phone over to him and let their arms touch. “What do you think?”

"A bit of baking?" Caleb grinned once he took a look around. There were cookies all over the place. "I had no idea you liked it." He turned back to face Franky and watched as she was on the phone. He nodded at what she said and he was glad to hear it. He was curious if the scar was still there, if she was still sad about the ex but hey, it was no time to ask that. He really wanted to keep his questions to himself. Being a constant reminder to her of everything bad in her life didn’t help and she looked at ease and calm today. "Seafood? I’m starting to pull out a little plan to sail. Every thing we do or eat takes us back to the ocean." 

He smirked and really started thinking where he could get a yacht or something like that. Caleb took her phone and read the recipe. He felt her skin against his skin and couldn’t help but smile like a dork to the screen. “Yeah, seafood pasta will be.” He handed the phone back to Franky and touched her cheek before heading over to one trey, picking up a cookie. “I’m all yours. Better tell m what to do if you want to keep your kitchen.” He chuckled. Caleb knew how to cook, but just the basics. He had thought about taking cooking lessons but always forgot to search for them. It had been a whle since he had started missing Martha’s meals.

"Seafood? I’m starting to pull out a little plan to sail. Every thing we do or eat takes us back to the ocean." She smiled at him once she saw his classic smirk. She watched him with the phone, smiling happily to himself. Caleb was a genuine guy.. Franky could see that now, but she still didn’t want to see more than just that. She didn’t want to see the dark side of him, if there even was one. "Yeah, seafood pasta will be." He touched her cheek and she smiled at the small tickle. "I’m all yours. better tell me what to do if you want to keep your kitchen." She followed him to the cabinet and pointed to the top. "Strainer for the pasta and pan for the fish."

Franky wanted to get it right and with her help the dinner wouldn’t be a failure. She went into the bag and pulled out the box of pasta, ingredients and fish. “You can chop vegetables, okay? Think you can manage that.” She scrunched her nose at him and pulled the cutting board, chef knife and the peppers, onions, and the works. “You know how to cut things right?” Franky touched his forearm and slid an onion close to his hand. “Do it… do it.. do it!” She started cheering quietly.

"Of course… I can help reaching the tall cupboards." Caleb laughed and opened the doors and got what Franky told him to without a problem. He placed those on the counter making room by unbagging the rest he had bought that was not in Franky’s position. He turned to see Franky and narrowed his eyes. "Can I?" He made a sorry face before scrunching his nose as well. "Yeah, I can do that." He took the cutting board and cleaned it with a cloth before placing the onion Franky had handed him there. He couldn’t help but laugh at her cheering and started to chop the onion. "Don’t laugh if I cry." He pointed at Franky tried to do it kind of fast, well, at least the faster he could. "Is all the onion okay?" Caleb frowned because that was exactly what he was doing.

He looked up at Franky and got distracted for two seconds and the knife touched his finger so he got a small cut. “Fuck!” He left the knife on the board and looked at his finger. Blood was slightly coming out and he sucked on his finger. “Fuck again!” He made a face since he tasted like onion. “Sorry about the cursing…” He took the cloth and wrapped it around his finger, ready to chop peppers now. “I think I will survive…” He smiled as he lifted the cutting board with all the onion in pieces. “Where do I put this?” Caleb really wanted to help, and it would be better if he could basically cook everything by himself for her, just with her instructions… but he couldn’t even cut vegetables without cutting himself. He chuckled and looked back at Franky.

"All the onion? I.. I guess so?" Franky figured she could bag up the rest and keep it in the fridge for her dads to make something later on. She went about preparing the pans on the stove until she heard Caleb yelp out a swear. "Fuck again!" She turned to see his finger in his mouth and she started to laugh. She didn’t see any on the food or counter, which was fine. "I think I will survive." She smirked, "Thank god. I was about to ring the ambulance." She joked and picked up the sprayed pan for him to place the onions in. "Here. And get yourself a bandage maybe, or just rinse off the blood." She pointed to the sink.

"Next will be chopped up spinach, some peppers, and you can take your time on these. I’ll sauté the fish and put some spice on it." Franky grinned and turned her back to him. She had the spices all out, one teaspoon of this, one tablespoon of that, blah blah blah. It was all easy to keep it going and with Caleb chopping and placing it all in the pan, it would be a lot faster. Then it came time to boil some pasta. "You know, I don’t think I’ve ever done this with anyone before…." She turned toward him after she finished her prepping for the fish and stared at him. Franky couldn’t stop smiling around him and that much was apparent to her and him. "You’re done, slide the rest of the veggies in the pan with the fish and then we wait." 

Caleb nodded obediently and with the enormous knife’s help, he placed some of the chopped onion on the pan and the rest, he put aside. He did what she told him about the cut, wshing his hands and all, making faces until he was done. He took the other vegetables but stopped and looked at Franky with a raised brow. “Sauté? Now you’re talking to me in some other language?” He grinned and got back to his task. He definitely didn’t know any terms related to the kitchen. He was getting a nice pile of green and all, being careful with his finger and taking it easy as Franky did her thing.

What she had said caught his attention and he stopped again. “Really?” He asked with soft voice. He was pretty much surprised to hear that. He hadn’t done this before with girls but… he didn’t know, it just surprised him. They stared at each other and he smiled at her, studying her eyes and her smile, fighting the urge to stroke her face since it would be disgusting and not romantic at all. He licked his lips and leaned forwards to place a kiss on her cheek. “I like that smile of yours.” He whispered and then stood straight, lifted the board and repeating the action done before. As they had to wait, he went back to the sink and washed his hands, dried them and put his arms around Franky from behind. “Your dads taught you to cook?” 

Franky closed her eyes involuntarily when he kissed her cheek. It felt like all the issues melted away. Caleb was a literal knight in shining armor and it terrified her. Such a good guy didn’t deserve to be around someone like her. Even if she was trying to make things better, she wasn’t doing… better. “I like that smile of yours.” She blushed and choked on her words. It caught her off guard. “Thanks.” Franky needed up whispering back as she watched him carefully. Washing hands. Drying hands. Wrapping hands. She smiled and tucked her lips behind her teeth. Was this normal? Was this what normal people did while dating? Were they on that path? Franky couldn’t stop stupidly smiling to herself.

"My.. My dads? I mean, yeah. For the most part. Their library is full of cooking recipes and books." She felt her voice shake from nerves. Franky wasn’t this nervous around him before, but her clear mind got her thinking too hard. She peeked at the food and sat back smiling to herself with Caleb behind her. "They mostly taught me how to bake, which… from the kitchen you can see. Cakes, cookies, muffins, cupcakes… literally anything you can think of… I mean when’s your birthday? I can whip up anything for it. Anything." She turned her head to see him slightly. 

Caleb frowned when she answered shyly. “Did my comment made you feel uncomfortable?” Maybe she didn’t like compliments, who knew, it could be. However, she shook it off easily and continued to talk about the kitchen, to which the guy listened pretty carefully and he chuckled. “You’re lucky I have a big stomach so all you baked is not going to waste. I mean, I’m not going to eat everything but I want to, everything looks delicious.” He looked around and sniffed. All still smelled great and their dinner was starting to smell pretty good too.

"My birthday? You know, I don’t feel very comfortable telling it because most people guess my age…" He joked and licked his lips. Sometimes it was hard to remember it since he had spent many years without celebrating it since all the cancer situation had made him grumpy and very angry. "A month and two weeks from now. I think… okay, it’s better with the day. April the 8. What are you planning to do? I generally don’t like surprises but this is different." He smiled and walked around her to face her now. "Yours? I can’t bake but I’ll do my best." Caleb smirked and wiggled his brows. Just a split second after, he was looking down at her lips. He swallowed and looked down, still with a smile on his face. Kissing her, even giving her a small kiss counted as putting her under pressure? Because he really didn’t want that to happen and didn’t know if she wanted. 

"My birthday? You know, I don’t feel very comfortable telling it because most people guess my age…" She smiled at him. He was so joyful about everything, it was contagious. Franky needed this more in her life. It was apparent that he was actually helping a lot more than anyone else she had ever been around. Mates? She hadn’t heard from most of them in ages, besides Nick. "A month and two weeks from now. I think… okay, it’s better with the day. April the 8. What are you planning to do? I generally don’t like surprises but this is different." She smiled slyly at him and gripped the counter as she stood up on her toes. "You don’t have to do anything but try to enjoy it." Franky looked at him and her smile started to fall. The two were experiencing something she had felt before with another person. Curiosity.. want… She stood up more on her toes and moved closer to him. Her smile grew, ear to ear. Franky hopped up on the counter and moved even closer to him. Their noses brushed and Franky pressed her lips onto his.

She surprisingly missed this feeling. She really missed this feeling, not necessarily with Caleb, but being close and touched. Franky smiled against his lips and kissed him again. Her eyes were closed sleepily as they parted but stayed close. “Don’t hold back.. I can see it in your eyes, Caleb.” She whispered and touched the side of his face. Her fingers danced down his jaw and Franky tilted her head to look closely at him.

His father had told him about making the first move for like, a hundred times, and for the second time, with Franky, she was the one making it instead of him. Caleb felt like a douche in that aspect but, on the other hand, he felt pretty good with Franky getting closer to him, greatly nervous but wanting it so badly. She was smiling big and he did the same for a moment, before the smile faded. It was not because he was uncomfortable, but maybe the feeling was overwhelming and kind of scared him. He closed his eyes and the sudden touch of her lips and put his hands on her waist. His breathing was getting slower but his heart was racing. He let his mind take the moment in but Franky’s lips surprised him again, forming that smile back on his face.

A chuckle escaped his lips and he opened his eyes, narrowing them as one hand traveled up to the back of her head, positioning it as it was before. His nose rubbed hers a couple times as his eyes kept on staring her delicate lips. “I have to or I won’t be able to let you go until your dads come in and they shoot my arse out of here.” He whispered and licked his lips once again. He had in mind they were alone and even if he had control on himself, he had to be realistic: he hadn’t been in a sexual intercourse for a very long time, not that he was thinking of that but he had dangerous spots and weaknesses. Caleb scrunched his nose whole his thumb stroked Franky’s bottom lip. “But no, I can’t hold back anymore…” He pressed his lips against hers as his hands cupper her face. She was so tiny he feared he could hurt her so his grip was soft. Then, he was lost, kissing her and just thinking of that, nothing else.

She cracked a smile. Franky didn’t plan on it going this far at all, not even more than a peck really. She couldn’t just do whatever she wanted without consequence. Franky wouldn’t let it continue or she would for now? “I have to or I won’t be able to let you go until your dads come in and they shoot my arse out of here.” She smiled but it was rubbed away with Caleb’s thumb. Then it grew back again. “But no, I can’t hold back anymore…” He kissed her and pulled her closely. Franky nearly slid off the counter moving to touch his lips again with hers. Being lost this embrace was perfect. Just for now. Franky felt normal and not so sorry for herself. They kissed again. Double over and over. She suddenly heard the stove pop and her eyes shot open.

Franky moved away quickly and jumped off the counter. “Shit!” She pulled the pan from the burner and set it on the counter. Her hand burned and she shook it before sticking the front of her palm in her mouth. “Shit, shit, shit.” She muttered again before turning all the burners off. “I think we’ve burned… I think I’ve burned the fish…” She turned the sink on and shoved her hand under the cold water. “Shit..” 

That damn stove. Caleb had completely forgot about it until Franky nearly pulled his lip from his face and he heard that peculiar noise. He moved away so she could make her way towards the pan as he grimaced, touching his mouth while he stared at the smoke going up. “Shit…” he whispered too and moved to where Franky was to make sure the burn was not a serious one. “Is your hand okay?” He looked over her but the running water didn’t let him see. Despite it, he grinned and started to laugh. Fish. The fish was all black and it was his fault, not that he had done it on purpose. Curious, Caleb looked inside the pan and laughed again. “I can’t believe this. I told you, the kitchen and I don’t get along but now I think it really dislike my presence in here.” He hoped Franky would take it as it was, an accident and something comical.

Caleb folded his arms and shook his head. “Guess our pasta will no longer have fish in it.” He went back to where Franky was and extended his hand so she could put hers on it so he could look at the burnt. “Martha, my dad’s soon-to-be wife taught me a pretty hilarious trick to calm this down. Once I burned my fingers trying to help her get ready for a dinner, I grabbed this thing she uses to straighten her hair and since I screamed so loud, she went down to the kitchen, grabbed an egg, cracked it and dipped my fingers in it. The pain was relieved less than second after that.” He smiled at Franky and coughed a little by th small amount of smoke and the smell, waving his hand to make it disappear. “I’m sorry I made you burn the fish. Maybe we could still eat something of it, don’t you think?” He raised a brow and looked over at the pan, laughing once more.

"I can’t believe this. I told you, the kitchen and I don’t get along but now I think it really dislike my presence in here.” Franky started to laugh under her breath as she ran the cold water on her palm. "Guess our pasta will no longer have fish in it." He walked over and she glanced at the finished pasta. "No harm done." She lifted her hand from the water. There was a circular burn but nothing serious, maybe a little stinging but she’d survive. "I’ve dealt with worse, I’ll live." She tried to smile at Caleb, but it only made her think of a dreaded time back at his flat. The carving in her side. She pressed her hand near her side and shook her head. Caleb explained the egg trick and she pointed to the fridge. "Get me an egg then oh wise one."

Franky shook her wet hand off in the sink and grabbed a bowl from the dishwasher. Clean of course. “The fish is dead to us now Caleb, we can only survive off pasta.” She smiled and saw the egg in his hand. “Crack it and let’s get it going.” Franky placed her hand flat in the bowl waiting for him. Her eyes never left his face. Some natural remedy, it was cute. Everything about Caleb was down right adorable and she couldn’t even fathom how he was an actual person. Everyone in the world was evil, really, really evil. Franky thought that way, and she even thought that she was too. Screw giving people the benefit of the doubt and assuming everyone was inherently good. But then there was Caleb. “Cal..” She stopped realizing she just made a nickname for him. “Uhm, anyway, I know… I know you have a story and it’s a long one, but why are you so nice? Literally, the nicest person I’ve ever met. You’re making me less cynical.”

Caleb lifted his index and walked backwards to where the fridge was. It was not hard to find an egg so he just took one and closed the door, shaking the thing as if it had something that would sound inside it. He then cracked the egg on the bowl and saw as it went on Franky’s hand. He placed the shell on the side and rubbed gently the viscous membrane on her palm and then looked at her with a soft smile on his face. “This will do it.” He winked an eye at her and took the shell to throw it away and keep the kitchen clean at least, now that the fish was more than dead. Once it was done, Caleb went back to where Franky was, mainly because she was asking him something. He kept his eyes on her and shrugged, still smiling because of the nickname given to him.

"Well… let’s say I was not the best person when I was younger. My mum died… and I decided to blame my dad… everyone, really. Did some things I’m not proud of, Then I got sick… the friends I thought were my friends left me, but… this boy… help me, my dad… he was always there and so was his girlfriend and when…" he narrowed his eyes and blinked a couple times, looking away. "when I thought I was gonna die, it… it changed me. When I lost my leg… first I was pretty angry and depressed but then, I mean, I was alive. Met a lot of sick people at the hospital and all of them were fighters and didn’t complain, even if they knew they just… had weeks. My life changed from one day to another and it opened my eyes, you know? They never let me give up so now I don’t let anyone give up." There was a great story behind all of this. He didn’t share it with anyone because no one had asked him like she had. Caleb looked at Franky and licked his lips. "My mum was not sick or anything, if you know what I mean… and also, without my cousin, I wouldn’t be here, I think."

Franky smiled when he got the egg started on her burn. It felt a lot better already. Then Caleb started his story. Not a happy one and it was something she knew about in a way. ”Well… let’s say I was not the best person when I was younger. My mum died… and I decided to blame my dad… everyone, really. Did some things I’m not proud of, Then I got sick… the friends I thought were my friends left me, but… this boy… help me, my dad… he was always there and so was his girlfriend and when… when I thought I was gonna die, it… it changed me. When I lost my leg… first I was pretty angry and depressed but then, I mean, I was alive. Met a lot of sick people at the hospital and all of them were fighters and didn’t complain, even if they knew they just… had weeks. My life changed from one day to another and it opened my eyes, you know? They never let me give up so now I don’t let anyone give up.” She listened and let her hand sit in the bowl. She wanted to hear more of his story, but she was thankful that he actually was sharing this information. Lost leg. Thought he was dying. Franky felt a sudden sadness flow over her.

There was a light at the end of the tunnel, but she felt terrible. Caleb went into a deeper scare than anyone he had ever known. “You’re brave.” She looked at him then back down at her soaking hand. “Do you ever get scared though?” She wasn’t sure if she was crossing a line or not. Franky’s curiosity always got the best of her. “I mean… do you ever get scared that you’ll get sick again?” Franky feared a lot of things about herself more than what the outside world could do. 

[calebfor-ester-blog]

Caleb smirked and shook his head. He was forced to be brave when actually he was scared to death. He chuckled and leaned against the counter. "Of course I do, I mean, I wouldn't be human if I wasn't, don't you think? I just don't let it control me, I rather have faith." One think he knew was that he had been blessed. He was not part of the ones who had sadly died confined to their beds or who had spent infernal weeks or months fithing fot their lives at the hospital. He was worried now. Since he had spotted than brown stain on his back, Caleb had feared the worst, but nothing had changed, he hadn't feel sick so he was positive about it. He got closer to Franky and kissed her temple. "Everything's fine now. And we better take your hand out before it gets all rigid. Does it feel better?" 

[itsnot-anselelgort]

Ansel Elgort seen at LAX in Los Angeles, California. [February 20, 2015]

[itsnot-anselelgort]

Ansel Elgort takes over divergentseries’s snapchat.

[calebfor-ester-blog]

Write a Haiku about Franky. GO

fairy of the night

eyes that captivate

skin made of snow