BRILLIANT TURMOIL

general theme of blog: well that got deep fast | engineering student | adventure | searching for myself Workout: motivate-grit.tumblr.com

[calm-excitement]

This picture isn’t mine either.

Today I’m sad. Like heart-crushingly soul-crushingly sad. I’m sad because I regret something I did. Work-related. It’s dumb, I shouldn’t be sad. Anyways, that’s all.

[calm-excitement]

I’m going through a friend break up. Well, actually I’m already through it. It’s over. Many a years of gaslighting and finally learning not to tolerate it.

[mooneyeart]

Vegan Pumpkin Spice French Toast

Ingredients:

4 slices of thick bread or toast

¾ cup dairy free milk (I used soy)

1 tsp pumpkin pie spice

2 tbsp flour (I used chickpea)

1 tbsp maple syrup

1 pinch of salt

2 tbsp pumpkin puree

1 tbsp vegan butter for frying

1 tsp pumpkin pie spice for garnishing (optional)

1 tbsp sugar for garnishing (optional)

Directions:

1. Slice your bread into equal strips and set aside.

2. Combine the remaining ingredients in a wide bowl and whisk well.

3. Melt butter in a large pan. Quickly dip the toast slices into your batter. Do not soak! Then transfer the battered slices to your heated pan and fry each side until crust has formed (about 2 minutes on each side).

4. Once all slices have finished you can roll them into a sugar mixture (optional) and serve with maple syrup. Enjoy!

[calm-excitement]

What a fuckin good time to come back to tumblr and find this gold. Hello weekend plans

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Givers need to set limits because takers seldom do.”

— Irma Kurtz

[calm-excitement]

Still relevant, still haven’t learned this

[calm-excitement]

Hi I’m making a small return to the blr

Because I’ve been lucky to #wfh for a month

And I think reflection is important

I thin this is a place spot for it

But now my break is over

So back to the grind

[talkingtomyhouseplants]

My adopted peach tree is starting to blossom and the flowers are whimsical!!!

[talkingtomyhouseplants]

String of pearls - such a cutie!!!! 😬

[christmasxmas]

[lsleofskye]

What’s your favorite animal? | _marcelsiebert

Location: Bavaria, Germany

[motivateyourselfeachandeveryday]

[calm-excitement]

Well I’m in the north, in camp, working 12 hr night shifts. I thought that an engineering degree helped you avoid work environments like this.. but maybe I’m just in the wrong field. So hi again tumblr, I’m back because I’m bored and tired and isolated. Lately, I’ve been finding myself wishing I was in a different situation than the current one - even before I got here. Time to start working on appreciating the little things again. Everything and every moment has value & significance.. no point worrying or wishing it was over. Time to remember to enjoy it all - appreciate the good the bad.

[kuizu-deactivated20190823]

https://www.instagram.com/p/BrbIAcVFuxk

[cosmo-gonika]

Felineness.

[north-of-civilization]

Kitty 🐈

[clem-style-deactivated20191229]

[endless-puppies]

(Source)

[calm-excitement]

My girlfriend

For the past 8 months, I’ve been in two serious relationships - one with my boyfriend and one with my girlfriend. And honestly, I’m exhausted.

.

The relationship between my boyfriend and I has gotten better and better, but that’s just not enough to make up for my other relationship. It’s toxic. She’s jealous of him, and that’s the least of it.

.

8 months later and I’m exhausted. I’m beat and I’m tired. The last year of this degree was nothing compared to my relationship with my girlfriend. She slowly sucked the life out of me, and trust me - I tried not to let that happen! We were stuck together more than a married couple.

.

I journalled, I contemplated, I talked to my coaches and mentors. I pre-paved, I manifested, I worked on being strong around people who want you to be down at their vibration instead. But I just couldn’t keep it up.

.

At 7 months I snapped, and she reacted in the way we all knew she would - an overreaction. The snap wasn’t worth dealing with her reaction, and her reaction made bringing issues up not worthwhile. So I started again. I continued to keep the peace, continued to make jokes and light of the situation.

.

I entertained negativity, unnecessary and exesssive outbursts of anger, racism, complaints, and criticisms towards my own life, the decisions I made, the way I acted, and who I was.

.

And now, I can’t help but to feel resentment. I have given so much to make sure this relationship was “okay”, and maybe that was the wrong approach. Maybe I should have snapped earlier or thrown criticisms back, but I still think that would’ve been unfair. I did my best to lead by example, but some people just don’t recognize others behaviours as an example.

.

This is what is comes down to: she is who she is. It is obvious now that she’s not someone who is a positive influence in my life. I can’t change her - I don’t want to change her, I just want space.

.

I can’t resent her, because I am responsible for how I feel. I am responsible for letting her affect me, or being strong and resourceful enough to overcome the way she makes me feel.

.

I didn’t think it had gotten this bad, but writing this out makes me realize just how toxic this is. So there you have it - that’s my relationship with my girlfriend which will thankfully be over in 10 days.

[silly-luv]

[friendly-animals]

(Source)