One Man Homestuck

Here you will find Homestuck stuff, including art and theory reblogs, voice acting, fanfic, and occasionally stuff about me. Re: VA material -- unless otherwise explicitly noted, Homestuck pesterlog scripts and all characters are (c) Andrew Hussie; occasional background music is (c) other, mostly Homestuck-affiliated artists as credited and linked, used with permission. All voices in posts tagged #audio and #one-man-homestuck are me. This is merely my ridiculous fan blog, I'm not selling anything.

[paradiseyuri]

Created by : ☆めがてる☆ Respective credits to the creator ⓟⒶⓇⒶⒹⒾⓈⒺ♡ⓎⓊⓇⒾ

[varanusniloticus]

Pet dragon 🐲 [by Ryoko Kui]

[laurasauras]

Im so tickled, I requested The Fool for our library collection and we finally got it the other day. I put it on hold and its gotta queue of 70+ people 🥹🩷

Oh my god!! 🥹🥹🥹🥹 This is so lovely to hear, I love libraries so much 🩷🩷🩷🩷

Daily reminder that libraries will often order on books if you request them so if you can't afford a book this is a wonderful way to read it! And authors get a royalty payment from this too!

[zillychu]

hey guys check it out I can do a frontside 180 with my stomach haha

[zillychu]

hopital

[zillychu]

just 4 u. I braved Phone Art while on Turbo Morphine (I think they called it dilaudid. it's Turbo Morphine 2 me)

oh ur super flexible? yeah well lmao can u do THIS??? (throws up and dies)

[zillychu]

u know in retrospect my stomach shrimping wasn't even the worst part so far. it was the tube that went to third base with my floppy ass cardia. through my sinuses. just straight up cockwarmed a silly straw all the way thru my esophagus for 2 days

[zillychu]

I'm a fool. a fucking fool. an absolute clown. do u know what happened minutes after I posted this.

I found out my body cannot handle opioids.

my muscles lock tf up and deliver the worst pain imaginable in every direction at once. I can't describe it. it's not just pain it's the sensation of every disgusting awful flu ache you've ever experienced in your life condensed into one square inch of your body, all over your body.

do u know what alternatives hospitals have to opioids? HA, HAHAHA

they don't

[zillychu]

GUESS WHOSE HOSPITAL IS GETTING HIT BY A TORNADO

[zillychu]

made the saving throw 😎 not today, Satan

[zillychu]

Y'ALL WILL NOT FUCKING BELIEVE WHAT BIOLOGICAL PROCESS STARTED LITERALLY THE DAY BEFORE SURGERY

[zillychu]

THERE'S ANOTHER FUCKING TORNADO

[zillychu]

I'd love to say this has been an educational experience, but unfortunately I run on Spite and simply vow to torture my blorbos even more now

which is saying something while being in the Vivisect the Half Dead Child fandom

[zillychu]

I LIVED BITCH!!

Stomach is back where it should be, I got some guts stapled and skin glued, and recited Dexter's Lab every time the nurses mixed powdered medicine in with my applesauce. I'm bored of drinking ramen and watching Resident Alien reruns so I'm gonna peruse the tags!

I cannot tell you how many times I unironically gazed into the middle distance and thought this

I've learned things can be true and also a shit post at the same time. unfortunately

starting to think maybe I've been saying this too much all my life and karmic justice just backed up in the pipes before exploding. still gonna obliterate those twinks tho. get back here Siffrin I'm not done with you yet

this guy is getting the true moral of this story

I HAVEN'T IN YEARS so either the AO3 curse has a disconcerting half-life, or it extends to discord servers and Google docs. both are horrifying and deserve a federal grant for further investigation

you and me both! isn't nature beautiful

you've made me realize my most recent fic in my gdocs is in fact the darkest thing I've written. so maybe all the ppl in the tags claiming AO3 curse aren't as wrong as I've been thinking they are

god's a bitch and I'm into omegaverse

I feel like I should get a medal for enduring something so fucked up that randos on the internet think I must be lying. yeah bro me too

did I stutter

[zillychu]

honestly the worst part about all of this is the fact that I can't watch Murderbot. I want to so bad. but I refuse until I'm feeling halfway alive again

fuck life. I give myself lemons. AO3 on hospital Wi-Fi

you do not. like emphatically, I don't think that's a great idea

I'd say I'm sorry but tbh this seems very on theme for ISAT so

THANK you I need everyone to remember I'm a gamer first, god's favorite crusty sock in the bottom of the drawer second

the ARE a lot of people in the tags calling me Jesus Christ

I'll admit that one's on me. when I started being unable to eat anything, my first thought was not "stomach straight up saying the abdomen's haunted"

I hate that I was actually considering getting white haired anime boy haircut right before all this happened. could you fucking imagine

don't carbon date me like this

Rascal Flatts was right. life is a highway and it's riding me all night long

[zillychu]

the abortion was a success! (/silly)

they snipped and stitched some things, yanked the whole sucker back down UNDER my diaphragm where it belongs, and did this thing called a fundoplication where they wrap and stitch the top of the stomach around the bottom of the esophagus. it’s supposed to help keep that little bastard in its assigned seating

what I had was a called a combination sliding hiatal hernia (stomach wants uppies) and paraesophageal hiatal hernia (stomach wants uppies but through a different hole in the diaphragm bc it’s not like other girls, making it look like it’s trying to phone home), along with combined organoaxial and mesenteroaxial gastric volvulus (stomach flops around like a dead fish and twists itself shut like a bread bag AND goes upside down). the former usually ends up cutting off blood flow and starts necrotizing the stomach (very dangerous), but I was extremely lucky that hadn’t happened yet!

the hernias are uncommon but not terribly rare. the stomach flopping around? that’s rare. the fact that I had both of these at the same time, where they both did ALL AVAILABLE BAD THINGS POSSIBLE?

to put it gently, according to one resident, I had surgeons fighting over me. pictures were taken. I had like six separate groups of medical professionals coming into my room regularly. my surgeon shook my hand like I was a celebrity. it was honest to god hilarious.

all in all, I spent 3 months thinking I was being a huge wimpy diaper baby, only to find out I narrowly evaded death bc my friend Moth told me to go to the ER right away, and it triggered a panic attack big enough to make me do just that. the poor ER doc came in sweating with the initial CT scans like “I’m gonna be real with you I’m not entirely sure I know what I’m looking at but it’s giving INCREDIBLE Emergency Surgery”

I’m upset I don’t get to birth an alien baby, but considering how it was Rapturing into my chest, it probably would have been a chest burster anyway. I want to kiss Miss Xenomorph as much as the next guy but I think I’ll just stick to sending prime numbers out into space until one returns my booty call

EDIT: btw I love the dog jokes lmao I had no idea volvulus was common in dogs! don't worry I'm not a werewolf (unfortunately), I simply have hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos, which makes all my connective tissue soft and stretchy. So we're waaaay more prone to having organs (and joints) slip n slide around and do things they REALLY aren't supposed to. But I wish I was a werewolf even more now. when will it be my turn

[zillychu]

haha that was a fun near-death experience glad it's over though GUESS WHO JUST GOT FIRED

[zillychu]

ARE YOU KIDDING ME THERE'S ANOTHER FUCKING TORNADO

[zillychu]

my clowns in hellsite, I have no idea how my house is intact when there are trees uprooted by my mailbox. if I had less staples in me I'd bend over and moon the sky

I'm not gonna keep dragging this post on I swear I'm just still on pain meds (I can handle higher doses of weaker opioids for some reason! yippee!) so I'm gonna look through the tags one more time and address a couple things I've seen often

- no, I wasn't doing anything in particular to fuck up my guts. sometimes our organs just Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 right through the polygons. don't worry about it, it's rare and you get a fun story to tell ur friends

- yes, I was fired because I missed too many days nearly dying and requested more to recover from nearly dying. what can I say I'm a needy unreasonable bitch

- yes it's pretty lame to do this to someone right as they stumble off the operating table and get dumped with expensive medical bills. yes this is legal. yes I'm filing for unemployment. yes I would leave mouse poops in the CEO's coco rice krispies if given the chance. love and peace ✌️

- it's cool my dudes I live in the Midwest, basements are an evolutionary aspect of natural selection here. we've also got Steve Templeton I'm pretty sure he fights the tornadoes off himself

- Murderbot TV series good :)

- don't worry guys I know the original artist for Life is a Highway. Lightning McQueen

- there are a LOT of you offering advice on how to avoid the torment nexus. while having a Siffrin pfp. just an observation

- who the fuck is Job

please laugh. every drop of joy I squeeze from this karmic fart parade is another finger shoved firmly up god's withered asshole

can everyone stop being funnier than me for 2 minutes

I only fucked someone once and it was bc they replied to my reply on their comment to the fic I filled for their kink meme prompt on Livejournal. it was vore. and my name's not Jesus

no I'm going I want to ask Joshua how he got that gay

can y'all stop comparing me to deities I'm already on thin ice here with one or possibly more of them

no this is Patrick

I'm sorry to disappoint but I only have 2 weed smoking girlfriends. if anyone lets me borrow one of theirs tho it would really help the Make A Wish Foundation. I beg them once a week and they keep telling me I'm "not a child" and "already got two wishes fulfilled"

take a ticket and get in line if you're gonna make an attempt on my life, you goddamn heathen

you can't give me this after I was just accused of being Dave Strider

DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[phorbolicious]

Homestuck au but the only difference is that the beta kids play sburb at 30 years old

[phorbolicious]

hmm? what's this? sprite sketches?

[pundeserving]

Everyone on 4/13, crawling out of their secret homestuck bunkers,

[may12324]

Harrow The Ninth -mock dust cover

With the river in blue and with blood variations. I wanted to have some crossover from my gtn cover, making things partially destroyed , like the side flaps. As well as having the sword in the same position, Gideons presence is still there! Even if she, herself, is not 🥲

Next up will be Nona's cover!

And more closeups under the cut

[altruistic-meme]

a collection of my favorite tweets regarding the Ever Given in the Suez Canal

[coolbeanscoolbeans]

happy 1st bday to... this.

[modmad]

I personally am declaring this to be a new International Holiday 

[spaghettioverdose-deactivated20]

Happy 2nd anniversary to the Suez Canal blockage!

[blondejaneblonde]

Ever Given Week, 22 March to 29 March (observed)

22 March - Ever Given Eve. Many celebrate by completing some small task they’ve been putting off, symbolically clearing blockages in their own lives.

23 March - Blockage Day! The main celebration. The exchanging of memes.

24 to 28 March - Hilarity ensues. Memes continue to circulate. The best are saved for next year’s observances.

29 March - Clearance Day. Festivities wind down. A more solemn occasion.

[fourohfourlifenotfound]

Happy 5th birthday to this

[cheesedreamsaremadeofswiss]

FIVE years??!!!!!!!!

[dragonsrequiem]

one of my fave recent historical events!!!

[grickle14]

It had come to that.

[lovely-v]

I’m gonna propose “I guess you haven’t read the silmarillion then :/” as a default response to anyone not understanding a reference to something obscure. even if it’s not remotely Tolkien related. I want to build up a perception that perhaps the sum total of human knowledge is contained in the silmarillion

[lovely-v]

[10-4ward]

This is the polar opposite of this:

[froginakettle]

[myonlypen]

[masterrainbowcat]

XKCD and Tumblr once again providing weapons I cannot use

[eightyonekilograms]

How far back in time can you understand English?

An experiment in language change

Nifty little language game here.

I can read back to 1500 with basically no difficulty

at 1400 I have to read slowly and carefully, but I can understand all of it save a couple words

at 1300 I can still comprehend most of it if I read slowly, but a much larger percentage of the words are unfamiliar to me, even with context

1200 and earlier are almost totally unintelligible

[naamahdarling]

Okay, so 1300 was where it took some real thinking. If I were trying to understand it spoken and not written I probably wouldn't do well at all. But there's enough Latin that I would adjust pretty quickly I think. I could achieve full fluency.

I can't do 1200 or anything past it. It is, as the author says, a wall. It feels like a closely related foreign language. I had Spanish lessons at a very early age so I actually do okay at romance languages and skated through 1300 on thstt, but am totally lost here because I know zero German, and as German roots become more prevalent I lose all footing.

Really cool stuff. I really want to know what we will sound like in 100 years and wonder if anyone has made an educated guess at that.

[naominovik]

Coming soon: Temeraire: The Roleplaying Game

The officially licensed tabletop roleplaying game set in the world of the Temeraire novel series by Naomi Novik!

This is launching tomorrow! Super excited; Magpie Games are doing this and they've got a really great approach to the RPG that lets players play both people and dragons \o/ Check out if you're into TTRPG!

[exhausted-undead]

FINISHED!!! have ganon and link as kronberg's "David and Saul' piece :)

i have literally never played a zelda game btw i think i got possessed by a ghost to do this

[kazieka]

was outside earlier and a bird Came Up, squatted down, fluttered it’s wings at me and opened its mouth like a hatchling begging for food (it was a grown female) so I went and checked the seed cube in the feeder and the thing was completely covered in mold. this is one of the weirdest things that’s ever happened to me. how did she know im the one in charge of the birdseed. How Did She Know To Pantomime Hunger At Me. Hello.

[kazieka]

i have spent my afternoon confusedly getting dressed, driving to the store, purchasing a new seed block, driving home, washing the cage, and getting the feeder set back up. i don’t take this much care for my Own nutrition. ive been bullied into a grocery store run by a tufted titmouse. i feel so loved

[veryberryskye]

yeah i like to give my blessing to the most pathetic looking weak little knight at the tournament. she can’t even look me in the eye when i give her my flower and she stutters out that she’ll do her best or something of the like. i think its funny when she has to cry and beg my forgiveness and i get to say “such a shame, i suppose my hand in marriage will have to go to someone else…” and then i get to hear her whimper like a dog. ive done this like 6 times alrea-

did she just win.

[the-stew-goblin]

I shall prepare a stew for the wedding! Extra salt!

[veryberryskye]

wait wait wait stew goblin wait

[peachdelta]

get ready for the wedding

[styxxsyringe]

trollgurls

[blueskittlesart]

Challenge: asking you to redesign Link and Zelda, but banning giving either of them blonde hair and blue eyes; what would you give them instead?

this was actually not nearly as hard as i thought it was going to be lol. i definitely leaned more towards the classic pixel sprite style designs since they rarely are blonde or blue-eyed in those games anyway. Link being a jackrabbit is taken from the alttp bunny, mostly because i knew i wanted to give him red rabbit eyes just like my alttp design. originally i was going to do pink hair as well but i ended up liking the dusty brown better. zelda eventually kind of became a "how far can i get from the standard 3d design while still looking like zelda" challenge. her outfit is very nes/alttp sprite inspired. I debated giving her green eyes but that felt like kind of a copout so I went for a lost baby deer look, which worked out nicely with the giant fuckass ears i'd already given rabbit link lmfao