Er you have to hover over the little picture doodads.

There we have it! Ahoy there! Jake english from skaianet enterprises here on tumblr dot com calling to you live from wherever your humble abode resides! Still getting the hang of this yolkiemabobber (i hear its called "blogging") but nothings too tricky for me to wrangle. Im nothing if not a man of action! ((Accepts m!a))

[dirksona-deactivated20260502]

If you vacation with Jake, everything is a surprise. Literally everything, provided you don’t give him any expectations beforehand.

[trainstoppin]

did you guys go on a vacation?

[dirksona-deactivated20260502]

Yeah. Just two dudes bein’ tourists.

[calvariaetrepidation]

I got a lightsaber and everything!!!!

[dirksona-deactivated20260502]

Putting this bro on Jake’s porch.

[calvariaetrepidation]

May i ask why?

[erlkingssarchive]

just saw an x-ray of a horse skull. can’t say i’m too happy with it

[erlkingssarchive]

what the FUCK is this

[lizziedoesvetpath]

Heh, horse teeeeeeeeeeeth

[calvariaetrepidation]

Me and dirk are ordering those virgin pina coladas but...can we?

[labors]

anyone wanna meet up in some catacombs? itll be sexy i promise

[calvariaetrepidation]

Shorts are stylish no matter what theyre paired with and thats my scouts honour.

[lollytea]

wearing shorts with a hoodie is such a gay and dumbass move. like are you hot or cold bitch???

[lastoneout]

its cute

[lollytea]

[once-upon-a-shake-weight]

That seems like a man who has learned anatomy and regret in one fell swoop.

[calvariaetrepidation]

You bet. I dont see why it has to be so complicated and…weird looking. Indiscriminately weird of course. Ones own gentlemanly machinery is hardly a picture either. I mean it looks exactly how its *supposed* to! Everythings in working order and all that but oh whatever you know what i mean!!!

[once-upon-a-shake-weight]

It’s okay not to be about vaginas, Jake. We all have our preferences and comfort food.

[calvariaetrepidation]

Well i wouldnt say *that*! I mean i guess im equal parts about and not about all sorts of kitty wagons and kicky wickies.

[nursery-deactivated20160926]

first date with me is watching shrek and then i fight you during the credits

[dirksona-deactivated20260502]

calvariaetrepidation‌:

Enough to put a face to water cooler talk i reckon.

How are you the same person who just asked me what a clitoris is?

[calvariaetrepidation]

A water cooler and *that* are hardly the same thing!

[dirksona-deactivated20260502]

calvariaetrepidation‌:

dirksona‌:

Close enough to the first. It definitely involves fragments of life essence.

And I dunno if that’s something I’d go on record saying. That particular phrasing comes across as more critical than necessary. Maybe it’s just something you gotta deal with with these creative genius types.

I am treated very well at Skaianet and I love my coworkers. My CEO listens to me and I have plenty of bathroom breaks.

All the rest of this mumbo jumbo aside do you even *talk* to our fellow skaianet compatriots?

#Also im a very benevolent boss and last i checked that was the exact kind of malarkey you were feisty for#*Double pistols and a wink*!

You said it, not me. 

I talk to people enough.

[calvariaetrepidation]

Enough to put a face to water cooler talk i reckon.

[once-upon-a-shake-weight]

That seems like a man who has learned anatomy and regret in one fell swoop.

[calvariaetrepidation]

You bet. I dont see why it has to be so complicated and...weird looking. Indiscriminately weird of course. Ones own gentlemanly machinery is hardly a picture either. I mean it looks exactly how its *supposed* to! Everythings in working order and all that but oh whatever you know what i mean!!!

[dirksona-deactivated20260502]

vacantnookgurgler‌:

Slice of life things, or second-cour-of-the-season things?

I think I’ve heard something to that effect before in Jake 101. He must be forcefed information or otherwise reminded/convinced it was his idea all along.

Close enough to the first. It definitely involves fragments of life essence.

And I dunno if that’s something I’d go on record saying. That particular phrasing comes across as more critical than necessary. Maybe it’s just something you gotta deal with with these creative genius types.

I am treated very well at Skaianet and I love my coworkers. My CEO listens to me and I have plenty of bathroom breaks.

[calvariaetrepidation]

All the rest of this mumbo jumbo aside do you even *talk* to our fellow skaianet compatriots?

[calvariaetrepidation]

…crikey.

[dirksona-deactivated20260502]

#Well…i guess i asked for that.#I thought the last diagram just looked wonky.

I figured that would be direct enough to get the point across. 

[calvariaetrepidation]

I guess you got that right.

[calvariaetrepidation]

...crikey.

[dirksona-deactivated20260502]

calvariaetrepidation‌:

So thats why you should give it to me straight in laymans terms.

You’re incredibly fortunate that I understand this is entirely unintentional.

[calvariaetrepidation]

Bwuh??? Youre talking gobbeldygook again strider!

[dirksona-deactivated20260502]

@calvariaetrepidation Look what I found.

[calvariaetrepidation]

They get so big so fast...