@remnaent | continuing the pain train.
oscar doesn’t feel like he’s acting on his own and yet he knows he’s in full control of his body. these violent feelings welling up inside of him are stronger and more instinctive than anything he’s ever felt from ozpin before. this goes back farther than just ozpin, back farther than the world he knows. he’s seen it--they all have: ozma’s happy family. at least, they were meant to be happy. images from jinn’s vision play back in his memories veiled in painful real and painfully tangible emotions: ozma’s emotions.
it’s that pain, that need to know if the girl in front of him is real, that makes oscar shoot out his hand to grab hers. it’s real. she’s real. this isn’t a trick. he shudders with the realization; a boy of fourteen can only take lifetimes of emotions crashing over him like waves for so long. it’s too much and his hand loosens enough for her to pull away.
a resounding no! sounds in his mind. it’s ozpin and ozma and every other reincarnation in between. the love for those four girls is buried deep within every person who takes up the mantle of oz, who is forced to feel and see what ozma felt and saw. even oscar, as much as he wants to fight the visceral emotions of love and desperation and guilt ( oh how overwhelming the guilt is ), he cannot overcome its strength. he knows, deep within his very soul, that he cannot let her walk away. he cannot let her slip from his grasp again.
again? is this what it means to become ozpin?
his own fears are pushed away as his legs move seemingly on their own to run after her. “ wait! “ oscar shouts. “ wait, please! “ say her name. “ dorothea! “ no, our name. oscar bites his tongue. their name: the endearing name ozma called her. he had a special name for all of them when he was proud of them or needed to comfort them. does oscar dare? wouldn’t it make things worse for dorothea to know her father is now...him? and what about oscar? what part of him would he be giving up by doing this? by accepting these paternal feelings that aren’t his own and yet feels them with as much ferocity as if they were?
but it doesn’t really matter, not right now at least. now when dorothea looks so lost and oscar feels so lost. the only thing he is truly sure about is ozma’s feelings that are alive within him. “ little flower. “ a beautiful flower like the bloom of spring. the words fall from his lips so easily, but he’ll say anything to get dorothea to stay. “ little flower, won’t you talk to me? “
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